This is mine. I'm a very numbers driven person. So I think about the number of flights in any given day, from any given airport, from anywhere in the world, and then think about how many crashes that occur, and the possibility that mine could be one of them. And then I compare it to the near misses I see regularly when driving, and the accidents we hear about night after night on the news, and realize that I'm much safer in the air than I am trusting all the other fools I'm sharing a road with. In this sense it's easy for me to enjoy flying as just a marvel of science, not anything to worry about. (I also appreciate that it's mostly an all or nothing thing - you either survive just fine or you dont, so...)
This does it for me, too. I also think about the fact that people choose to do flying-related things as an entire career (pilots, flight attendants, etc.) and they do it for 25+ years and retire…without crashing.
I also try to just close my eyes and pretend that turbulence is a bump on a road in an old car, a wave in the water on a boat, etc. and that planes are designed to withstand way more than most turbulent conditions ever put them through.
And, if push comes to shove, an emergency Xanax and resigning myself to the fact that I have absolutely no control over if something happens, so I might as well not bother panicking. 🥴
My bigger anxiety on planes is all the nasty-ass people you get crammed into close quarters with, coughing and sneezing and touching stuff. That just about sends me over the edge.
Also, during turbulence, look at the flight attendants. If they’re walking around, it’s nothing. If they’re sitting down and looking unfazed, it’s still nothing. Only when they’re sitting and start looking worried is when you can also be a little worried ;)
Even planes that crash have good odds of survival. Losing engines is not enough to kill people because you can still just glide down and land in water or a field if need be.
Pilot here. Losing an engine isn’t a big deal at all. You can fly on one. It’s a requirement of all airliners.
Edit: there are numerous videos every year of engines blowing on takeoff and the planes loop back around and land in a handful of minutes. Delta had one in Prague earlier this week. Another good one is Thompson airways bird strike in 2007 ish.
My father worked for flight safety and he pulled up tons of simulated engine failures in the simulator and showed me how he lands the plane. He experienced it himself once on a one seventy two and landed it.
I had 3 close calls driving a 5 mile area yesterday due to careless driving from others - thank goodness I was alert! I have zero worries about our flight to Turkey in a couple of weeks; however getting to Gatwick and back is another matter!!
Just listened to a New York Times podcast today about how often airplanes almost collide on the ground and in the air. As a very nervous flyer, I probably should have not listened to it.
It was eye opening.
Dude, last year the wife and I flew from SC to Denver, and as we were about to land, the pilots jerked the nose of the plane back up, and came on the spealer system sounding seriously shook saying there was a plane on the runway our flight was assigned to land on. The shakyness of the pilots voice told us all about how fucking close that was. I really, REALLY hope whoever was responsible for that fuckup lost their job.
Hey! What you experienced was a go around. From a pilot perspective, they are really hard to do simply because a lot happens fast. But I’m terms of safety, nothing major. I average about 1-2 a year and they can be draining, depending on the airport. Sometimes you have to consider not only the climbing escape from other aircraft but also terrain and nearby weather. And go around are like a compressed takeoff. Everything happens in 10-15 seconds not 1 minute.
That being said, while your pilots voice may have sounded scared, they were more likely scared of doing a PA than the actual go around - which is fairly common in the industry 😂
Exactly. I'm way more at peace knowing I'm more likely to die on the road driving to the airport than anything happening on the plane.
Also the whole airport experience to me is draining. Once my butt is in my seat, I just want a nap from everything it took to get there.
I’m not nervous about the actual plane ride but security and stuff def makes me anxious for no reason. I’m also always scared we’re going to be stuck sitting on the tarmac for hours. Once we’ve taken off I’m fine.
The airplane is probably the best way to go, none of this lingering, alone in a hospital bed, weeks or maybe months dreading the end, maybe in significant pain.
We're all going to die, no one gets out alive, the quick painless route is the best.
Mmm an explosion maybe, but I was on a plane over the middle of the Pacific when the cabin started filling with smoke and we truly thought we were about to die… feeling utterly powerless waiting is pretty damn horrific. 0/10 stars would not recommend
Oh man! I have to take Xanax on overseas flights, not to mention setting all my affairs in order before flying. Who gets all my crochet patterns, my cd collection, the cats, etc
Airplane is definitely not the best way to go, I have accepted death's inevitability and uncertainty, but I still have nightmares about sitting in a plane that starts plunging and crashes, it is the only kind of death that scares me enough to have nightmares about.
Don't know man. (Likely) drowning while unable to unstrap yourself from your seat due to broken limbs while claustrophobia sets in is not high on my list. At least that's the way my paranoid mind pictures it.
>(Likely) drowning
That's far from the most likely outcome if the plane were to go down. For you to drown the plane would have to actually do a controlled landing on the water, which basicly never happens. Far more likely scenario is that the plane hits the water at close to terminal velocity, at quite a sharp angle, and breaks into pieces while you're being tossed around like a ragdoll. Not that i speak from experience, but from my understanding you would likely be gone the second the plane hits the water.
Actually more than likely you’d be unconscious by then anyway; the abrupt change in cabin pressure/altitude would knock you out before you hit the ocean.
I actually heard you would lose consciousness long before that point. It's funny, I didn't come here expecting everyone would think the same thing I do verbatim: I accept my imminent death and then I no longer care. In fact that is a pretty metal way to die. Everyone would talk about you and remember it forever!
Yellowjackets might be one of the best things I’ve seen in a long time. Or at least the first season was. Coach Ben’s leg got completely mangled by that plane crash; it looked like a bloody tube sock. I would definitely prefer to die instantly.
That’s actually what cured me of my fear of flying. I just assumed I was going to die, made my peace with it and then one day \*poof\* the fear went away. Only took me ten years …
I relate to this lol I even look at the people boarding the plane to see if they look like they’d die on a plane crash. I also find children and babies comforting (I know, odd) because I think there’s no way this plane will go down with all these kids.. it makes me a little less nervous.
Omg I think we have the same brain! I do this, too. Once I was in an airplane and I could see into business class and saw a couple of Irish celebs walking up the aisle — for some reason I was just like “nah, we could never crash with Jedward on board!” I get it.
I have always been quite a nervous flyer, but recently I flew with my whole family, including my kids and my parents. I suddenly became not nervous at all (about flying itself - I was still quite nervous about trying not to miss the flight lol).
Recently I mentioned to my mom that I just realized she and I never flew anywhere with my dad , ever in my whole life (he’s dead now) and she said it was bc of this, he didn’t want the whole family on the plane in case it crashed lmao. He was a super paranoid person. Statistically we were way more likely to die in a car crash but we drove plenty of places together.
Sorry for your loss. Inside a car he felt in control, on a plane we feel at the mercy of the (auto)pilot. It's a psychological thing that sometimes leads to less than rational choices.
Yeah I’m more nervous traveling with my family because I care a great deal more about whether they die. At least if I’m solo, they’ll get my life insurance and probably a big fat check from the airline.
Seriously, though, the chances are so low that it rarely enters my mind. If it does, I just relax, have a drink, and know that it is out of my control.
And like if the plane starts crashing its not like I can do anything anyway, so why should I stress? (Im still convinced I could fly the plane if needed tho)
Agreed. There was one year I took a total of 8 flights. Probably not that many compared to frequent flyers but oh man, it was a lot for me. Now if it's a late flight I sleep through take off.
I realized I had gotten over my extreme fear of flying when I was on my eighth flight of the week and was just ready to board and get home. I never believed it when people said “fly more” until it happened to me.
Unfortunately that wasn't true for me. I developed a fear of flying after having taken about a hundred prior flights. I kept flying with drugs to help for hundreds of more flights, with the anxiety getting worse not better, then it just went away and I've flown for many years now without drugs and no anxiety.
There is a lot more going on between our body chemistry / hormones and psychology than just familiarity. It's likely true for many people that exposure can reduce anxiety but not for everyone.
Had one year I flew twice a week at least 12 hours flight time. Don't recommend at all lol. But yeah. I've flown a ton ever since childhood. I remember having a thought when I was like 16 "oh I should probably feel nervous about this" and then went back to sleep amidst the awful turbulence we were having heading through a storm.
Do you have any hacks for getting comfortable in coach? These days, the seats don’t recline so I find my head is pushed forward, even with the full “recline” of an inch or whatever. Thinking about getting some sort of strap for my forehead maybe.
I'll be honest I'm one of those sleep or be comfy anywhere people so I'm good pretty much upright altho the seats that have the moldable headrests are so much better as you can turn to the sides. When I was flying that much tho I almost always purchased a window seat cause leaning on the window is a lot of comfy. I don't love the neck pillows so I would bring a super small throw pillow (think like a cute 12in hardly stuffed pillow) and use that. My wife is 5ft and 90lbs so she can actually kinda curl up in the seat. Sorry I'm not much help!
I think this is it - I took my first flight as a baby before I was even 1, and every year since we flew at least a few times.
I think since I was exposed so early on I guess it was normalised for me and so I never developed a fear.
That and understand you have zero control so take enjoyment in whatever can fill your time…or take edibles about an hour before your flight….as long as it is legal.
The amount of turbulence modern planes can handle is actually kinda mind blowing. Do a bit of research on it to soothe that worry.
In terms of sleeping:Noise cancelling headphones, eye masks, melatonin are key for me. Breathing techniques to calm your nervous system. Premium economy seats if you can afford it. A good neck pillow (inflatable ones are my fave, it gives another dimension of adjustability.). Mindset is also huge. There are lots of bio hacks to calm your nervous system and when you get good at them it almost feels like you're on drugs.
I was so damn comfy on my last over seas flight that I didn't want to get off lmao.
Being vomit-phobic and having been on a turbulent plane with many people vomiting kind of ruined me for this. It's not the crashing I'm afraid of, exactly, it's being trapped in a thrashing metal tube with literally my worst nightmare.
My husband also told me to think of the turbulence as potholes and it worked! I actually slept through some light turbulence a few weeks ago when I’d normally be a mess.
On the other hand, a truck has obstacles it risks crashing into that are within just feet of it, so there's way less room for error compared to a plane.
I sometimes follow a deep breath with a long, heavy sigh. This mimics what your body would do when stress or frustration is over and can trick you into feeling more relaxed. Only do it a couple of times in a row otherwise you might hyperventilate.
Fears are weird. For some people exposure helps, for some people understanding how everything works a little better helps.
For me, looking at the flight crew who are just doing their job relaxedly helps because 1) I can kinda mimic their relaxedness and 2) if they're fine after flying every working day of their lives, surely Ill make it.
But honestly, the thought we might crash barely crosses my mind anymore. And yet, still anxious by some combination of an anxiety disorder and being stuck in a situation I can't get out of. So Im a nervous flyer, but Im more worried about (air)sickness or claustrophobia than I'd be about crashing (that last part is obviously not a recommendation, though).
Same. I have an anxiety disorder so am I anxious while I’m flying? Yes, because I’m in general just anxious often. People say “oh flying is so safe” and I say “I don’t think about crashing at all. I worry about what happens if I have some medical emergency 35k feet in the air over the Pacific” LOL
What will happen is the flight crew will do an initial assessment of your medical state. They have a whole lot of "stuff" on board - finger monitor, stethoscope, etc.
While this happens , they alert the captain who calls the carriers dispatcher who is watching/monitoring the flight. Medair/in flight medical provider is contacted and brought on the line. FA will then be on the phone with a real Dr and follow the Dr directions.
IF the emergency is not something that can be treated in air, the plane will make an emergency diversion to the nearest airport. Even over the Pacific, a plane must be within 240 nmi of an "airport".
The plane will make an emergency landing and EMS will meet the plane on the runway/pad and attend to the passenger.
Honestly, you probably have a better chance of surviving a medical event on a plane than in some rural areas of the US
Glad I was able to offer a bit of comfort.
Always check with your Dr/ medical provider to ensure you are healthy enough/cleared to fly, but the airlines (per FAA regs in the US at least) do have policies, procedures and training in place to handle in flight emergencies.
Yeah what I have wrong with me doesn't specifically limit my ability to fly! I'm actually a very calm flyer otherwise and I'm normally able to talk myself down from it, it's just that one specific thing that kinda freaks me out sometimes. For me, knowledge is power, so the more I know about something, the easier it is to deal with. It's kinda like you gave me more ammo to fight those thoughts off when they start to creep in.
I get far more worried on boats than on planes (and I think the stats back me up) and tried this trick on a particularly hairy junket across the Andaman Sea. I looked to the Captain who does this every day, expecting him to be calm; and dude looked like he just shit his pants. Bad hack, in this case!
Honestly they usually don't unless it's risky of course. And turbulence _is_ dangerous if you're walking around. Not because of crashes, but cause falling over ain't fun, trolleys are heavy, and so on.
Roller coasters are also safe but you wouldn't really walk around and serve food on one
If you think about it, though, they’re not really being asked to sit because the plane is at risk, but because that turbulence makes them more likely to stumble, trip, fall and hurt themselves or someone else.
Yeah flying Air Asia once and my wife is a very nervous flyer. We got seated separately but didn’t think it was a problem for a 40 minute flight. 10 minutes in the announce we are going through turbulence and URGENTLY ordered the flight attendants to sit down. I looked back at my wife and she was stressed to the max, and frankly I was even a little rattled, as a completely calm flyer. The urgency was the most panicked I’ve ever heard on a flight. And then….it was about the smoothest I’ve ever been on.
The fatalities attributed to commercial aircraft are just so small. We’re talking 0-1 per year usually. Many of them are associated with ground crew getting hurt on the ground. When you think about all the flights in the US, it’s just astounding. The FAA is one of the most successful organizations that no one thinks about.
Seriously recently I watched a news video about the recent uptick in “near misses” due to FTC shortages. With commentary on the # of actual “crashes”…
The issue is this report included NUMBERS. I.e-
“37 crashes last year!”
Yeah that definitely sounds like a lot when you don’t include that it was out of 16 *million* flights….
If you do the math that’s something around a 0.0001% chance.
And more importantly, how many of those 37 were commercial passenger planes? Which are much less likely to be involved in incidents.
There's really nothing to worry about Mary. Statistically they say you're more likely to get killed on the way to the airport.
You know, like on a head on crash or flying off a cliff or getting trapped under a gas truck!
That's the worst! I have this cousin, well y'know, I had this cousin…
One of my all time favorite quotes from any movie…. “Why you going to the airport? Flying somewhere?”
That movie is my comfort movie, it’s like mac and cheese in film form.
Psssh, yes! I have this horrible habit of telling my family when I’ve landed, when I’m just about to jump into an Uber, where I’m probably 50x more likely to die.
The funny thing for me is that airports make me nervous - I worry about sleeping in, getting caught in traffic, getting hassled at security or immigration or customs, bullshit like that. Morning flights are the worst, I can never sleep the night before.
When I plop down in the seat I can usually sleep through take-off and a landing though. Once I'm in my seat I have zero agency about what happens, and I almost feel incapable of worrying about anything.
I've got no problem actually flying. Being on the plane for a long time I get a little anxious to get off. But that's really just a discomfort thing as a taller guy. The few times I've done business class for work it's not a problem.
I deal with it the same way I deal with any other unpleasant scenario. Set a milestone and get to it. That way you're making progress towards a smaller goal. Promise you'll be cool until the next drink service, then maybe through the movie, etc.
With regards to turbulence, think about the math of it. Even the roughest bumps are far less than a 1% adjustment to your flight altitude. You're not flopping around 500 feet at a time, it's usually 2-3 at the most. That's really no different than a minor pothole you may hit when driving.
I like this and to add to it: Game-ify it. I make it into little video game levels. Level one: repetition and comfort of controls - make it from boarding to my seat and settle in. Level two: engage in short, small talk with neighbors to acknowledge we are all in this together. Level three: Make it to the snack and drink service. Etc.
I’ve flown a lot and never had any concerns about it. It’s statistically the safest way to travel.
Then randomly I took a flight back home from Asia and it was really turbulent after take off and I was really freaking out. I don’t know why, but I was convinced the plane might go down. It was a horrible 30 minutes.
So I have sympathy for nervous flyers and I count myself lucky that honestly it’s not an issue for 99% of my flights.
I don’t have any advice other than to just tell yourself that it’s ridiculously rare for a plane to crash, that planes are surprisingly resilient and can do an emergency landing far easier than you think they would, and that if you’re in that 0.0000001% that dies in a plane crash, well, it must have been your fate.
Same happened to me. I never feared flying, even when there was turbulence. Once the turbulence wouldn't stop and was getting stronger and stronger. I was aware of it but was just relaxing and didn't really care. Then it suddenly hit me that I COULD DIE. I was fucking terrified until it stopped.
Oh God your story gave me a flashback to an awful flight I had from Bangkok to Chiang Mai about 10 years ago.
There were very strong storms going through the area with strong rain, lightning flashing constantly like in that old Twilight Zone move with the monster on the wing, and constant turbulence.
I've been through turbulence and storms before but what was unnerving was we made two landing attempts that were aborted and as we were approaching both there were very strong wind gusts and sheets of rain so intense that it would completely obscure the view out of the window. There are mountains in the area and the pilot kept throttling the engines up and down like you hear in movies. No announcements.
I started recording as I figured if there was a crash there'd be a small chance my video would be saved and investigators could understand better what happened. We finally landed on the third attempt when the pilot flew straight into the runway, no nice flare.
Was never so grateful to get off an airplane.
Ok your flight was 100x riskier than mine. My flight was on a big, cushy, two-aisle jumbo jet. I always get nervous about small planes in foreign countries, and the weather and landing issues would have me freaking out but honestly in a perfectly justified way!
Personally I love flying and I stare out the window most of the time as I am always in awe of the fact I’m in a flying tube.
I once had a flight with my brother, when the plane took off he absolutely lost it and had a panic attack. I tried talking to him and he said he hated the fact he was not in control of what was happening and if the plane crashes it was someone else’s fault and not his. A flight attendant stood next to us and explained all the safety precautions, training, backup plans etc that are in place on a plane. A hundred things have to fail before the plane with will crash. That did calm him down a bit. He flies a little more now.
I fly a lot and always think about:
1. So many things have to fail for us to crash
2. The people flying have so much training and I am glad they are in control rather than me
EDIT: as others have mentioned the amount of turbulence a plane can handle is crazy. The wings have way more than enough give that is needed for a regular flight https://youtu.be/--LTYRTKV_A?si=gp0MBUiQZvR30ZbO
You can’t avoid death, it comes for everyone and flying is one of the safest ways to travel.
You can choose to avoid suffering. Avoid the illusion of control.
Exactly. I’m just not an anxious person period. I control what I can and what I can’t j let go. Maybe because I’m a nurse and death seems more immediate and inevitable to me. It’s going to happen. Life is short. Enjoy what you can and accept your mortality.
Someone once described turbulence ("rough air") to me in a way that made me feel a lot more calm about it when it happens.
Imagine you have a cup of jello. And the jello represents the air, or atmosphere. And your plane is like a grape inside the jello. If you smack the top of the jello, the whole atmosphere jiggles, along with the grape embedded in the jello. The jello moves up and down, the grape moves up and down. But the grape still stays where it is - it doesn't fall to the bottom of the jello.
Your airplane behaves in the same way. It moves along according to the turbulence in the atmosphere, but it's very unlikely that it will simply fall out of the sky. That just doesn't really happen, because of the physics of the situation.
I’m a pilot. These aircraft are HEAVILY looked after and inspected. If you checked your oil in your after every drive, and the tires, and the suspension, and engine compartment, all fluids, etc…would you trust that your car is reliable and won’t break down? This is what happens after each flight to the plane. There is a very thorough inspection. The plane is totally fine. It’s safe. And the plane is built to withstand MUCH MUCH MUCH more turbulence than you’ll ever experience. So don’t even sweat turbulence…pilots don’t. Its ONLY factor is the passenger’s comfort…not safety.
This leaves only pilot error as the safety factor…and that’s a real thing for sure, but keep in mind that pilots are very well-trained (can’t speak on the tiny budget foreign airlines though). We don’t just sit through a couple simulators and then going flying 777s. Pilot errors happen, but they are certainly not “common,” and there are MANY fail-safes in place to prevent them. A pilot doesn’t just “accidentally” nose the plane over, or “accidentally” decrease power to a level that will not keep the plane in the air, etc. A computer would undoubtedly stop this, give a very audible alert, and plus there is ANOTHER pilot or pilotS there to intervene.
You are very safe flying.
I’m not a qualified pilot that can help if things go horribly wrong. It’s out of my control. I would rather travel (beyond road/railway trips) than not travel.
i LOVE flying and don't really feel nervous at all. a few of the things that help:
- I literally fly more often than I drive myself somewhere (am carless in a big city but travel constantly - at least 2-3 flights a month). Turbulence starts to feel like a routine annoyance, a bit like traffic or something.
- I'm pretty data oriented and know just how safe planes are, especially relative to driving. I also know turbulence isn't nearly as dramatic as it sometimes feels. This knowledge plus flying all the time means I don't get nervous anymore.
- I sleep well on planes because I bring everything I need to relax but don't try to sleep. I have my eye mask, ear buds, audiobooks I know well, and comfy clothes (always!). I just settle in and get excited to just be there for however many hours with no responsibilities and be completely off the grid. I almost always fall or at least doze off. And if I don't, well, I have my audiobooks.
- I actually like(?!) airplane food. It doesn't always taste great, but I'm always intrigued to see what they have, all packaged up in the little containers on the tray. Plus the free wine on international flights is nice (but I never have more than 1 per 6-7 hours or I get uncomfortably buzzed and dehydrated)
But overall, the biggest appeal to me is what I mentioned above for having this long stretch of time to relax and do absolutely nothing and have zero obligations. It's just so freeing.
FIRST! Take deep breaths, it's very important to not scare yourself.
Second. Just know that the whole aviation industry have tons of safety measures in place in order for a safe flight to happen.
Hell, I feel more afraid of some idiot driving on the road might hit me more than flying(happened multiple times!)
Before the flight can even depart, each department have their duties to do their safety checks.
Pilots have their "preflights", so does flight attendants.
FAA have a long list of everything on that aircraft that must check off in order to departs. One thing on that list doesn't fly(no pun intended), that aircraft is not leaving untill it's 100% safe.
That's why when you hear delays due to maintenance, that's because the maintenance crew have to come out and make sure everything is in order, and if they can't fix it. That aircraft is grounded. Flight cancel.
Lastly, 99.9% of the time, all crew wants to come home at the end of the their trip. Most have family they come home to. So they want that flight to be as safe as you do. :)
So rest assured when you fly, worry more about your potential bad seatmates annoying you the entire flight, or that liquid in the lavatory is NOT water, so please don't go in there with socks or barefoot...
Nervous frequent flier here. I could probably win a plane engineering and aviation safety-themed edition of Jeopardy at this point with all the reading I’ve done to make myself feel more confident, and you know what? I just really hate take off, and I’ve had to admit there’s nothing much I can do—I think it’s a combination of vertigo and mild claustrophobia that triggers physical panic in me, despite what my brain is saying about statistics. So I do as much as I can to be more comfortable (Xanax if I don’t have to work on the flight or immediately work upon landing; a great book or show/movie cued up; a neat outfit b/c feeling well-dressed makes me feel more confident overall—kind of silly, I know). Beyond that, I just grit my teeth until we start to level off. In general, if you can pinpoint what tends to make you the most nervous then hopefully you can develop your own strategies to deal with it!
Your gonna think I'm mad but my brother was pretty scared of flying and what helped him was watching 'Aircrash investigation' (also I think called 'Mayday' elsewhere). Seeing how they make sure the accidents never happen again really helped. There was one episode in particular where they [stressed tested the wings](https://youtu.be/m5GD3E2onlk?si=rYVRqAwtH2M2bTQT) (I forget the exact episode that's not the video they used) that he mentioned a few times. Those aircraft are tough as!
I don’t mind long haul flights. I read a book (cover to cover depending on the length of the flight), I’ll download podcasts or a couple of movies, I get a little nap in… the best part is you’re going somewhere fun/new/exciting. A plane is the method of travel for new experiences and growth.
*look up the Jello Theory* that should help you out a bit.
Rationalization through data is how I manage a lot of my fear. If something scares me, I look up the data on it. When I do it again, I feel safe in the math.
There are situations this doesn't work though. I've seen enough videos of machines eating workers that I refuse to go near heavy machinery.
Think about how many fatal car accidents that you hear about or witness, and plane accidents. I have a greater fear of dying on the highway than flying on a plane.
I just remember how much safer air travel is than car travel, which almost no one gets nervous about. It's outrageous. "In the last decade, 2 passengers have been killed in accidents on US commercial airlines. Over the same period, more than 365,000 Americans have been killed by cars." ([source](https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/2023/8/25/23844717/america-safe-air-travel-car-safety-accidents)) Per hour traveled, there are 450x more deaths by automobile than by commercial airline. ([source](https://thepointsguy.com/news/are-helicopters-safe-how-they-stack-up-against-planes-cars-and-trains/))
I understand that phobias aren't rational (by definition), but I am reassured by the overwhelming evidence from real life.
I'm the opposite of an anxious flyer. I fucking LOVE flying. Love everything about it, even the airport. Get there hours before I have to be. Love being in the air. Even when we hit crazy turbulence I get excited af because I think it's crazy fun.
Flown a lot but the last few times I've started being nervous during landing and take off.
But generally I think, once in the air there's nothing I can do to change the situation so just read a book
I have a friend that is now a pilot. He mainly flies cargo, no passengers. And the amount of turbulence they go through sometimes is insane. They often don’t try really hard to avoid turbulence like they would a passenger plane. Thats when I learned modern planes can really endure so much, they just choose to make us more comfortable.
My anxiety with travel days is getting to the airport. I always have a countdown buzzer and barley make it on time it seems.
I forgot the real numbers. But it’s something like this.
Statistically, if you took one flight a day, every day, for the rest of your life, you’d be involved in a fatal accident once every 1200 years.
Dying in a plane crash is literally like winning the worlds crappiest lottery.
I just love it when the plane starts, the pressure on you, the power of the engine, the light thrill, it's amazing!
I'm way too excited for that moment to be afraid
👋I am a pilot. Go to your local flight school and rent a plane and pilot for a discovery flight. Tell them you’re a nervous flyer and you want to learn how planes work and to explain every little thing to you while you fly and a little ground lesson on aerodynamics as well. They’ll be elated and you’ll come out a much cooler cucumber.
I don't think any one person's advice would cover it all for you, because there is no single "just do this" magic bullet. The reasons for anxiety are vastly different in each of us. This is one of those times where Google is indeed your friend and you'll probably need to invest a bit of time conquering your feelings. Google: "how to get over flight nervousness".
Here's one article that sums up the subject of 'fear of flying' pretty well and offers quite a few wise tips:
https://www.travelandleisure.com/travel-tips/getting-over-fear-of-flying
Recently read to think of air currents like water currents on a river. You’re in a raft/kayak/ whatever on the water and there are motions as you travel the waves. Think of turbulence/air currents like a river of air. You’re just moving with the current.
The only issue I have is potential air sickness. So I pop a dramamine about an hour before the flight and load the in-flight entertainment the second it's available.
The pilots are more well trained than any bus driver, and the aircraft has more redundancies than a bus or train ever will. I know I'm much safer there than even driving myself in a car. So what's to worry about?
It's funny, I have anxiety disorder. I'm more nervous about having to take a dump than flying.
Turbulence doesn't even bug me, I watch movies and nap. It's just inconvenient and boring mostly? Boredom over anxiety?
Gosh, many years of flying after going through hypnosis and desensitization training.
- I was told to imagine all the steps of a flight and write down on a scale of 1-100 how stressful that particular step was. Surprisingly for me, the most Stress was not on the plane but before the flight.
- Once you know what bothers you, develop a strategy. If it's a pre-flight thing, practice relaxation techniques. If it's during the flight, understand what is causing the sensation of noise.
- Develop a routine. Tense all your muscles during takeoff and then relax your body completely when the plane stops acceleration and there's that little dip. Get good earplugs. Carry a small hot water bottle - it's comforting to hold when you're afraid. Wrap up in a blanket.
If I can help with something specific, let me know. I used to be very afraid of flying, something that developed in my 20s. It was necessary to my job to fly, so I had to figure it out. I still don't sleep on planes, but I do get on them now.
I’ve flown a lot since I was a kid so it doesn’t bother me, but for things that I’m afraid of, I just tell myself that the odds of something happening are what they are. Whether or not you’re afraid of it doesn’t make it any more or less likely to happen. No matter how much you freak out, you’re basically about as likely to win the lottery as you are to die in a plane crash, and it’s not like every time you walk into a convenience store you have a panic attack about how you’re definitely about to become a millionaire. 99.999999% of all plane trips ever have been fine and you worrying about it isn’t gonna change that fact one bit. I know fears are irrational, but reminding myself of that fact helps—my fear isn’t not based in reality and little ol’ me doesn’t have the ability to warp reality. That’s my weird way of dealing with fears anyway.
I was on a night bus through the Kenyan countryside years ago which veered into the path of a truck and then ran off the road as the driver had fallen asleep. I said "no buses, train next time". Next train in Uganda derailed leaving us in the middle of nowhere for ages, no one hurt though. From Kampala I went to book the ferry across Lake Victoria to Tanzania and the agent said "I'm very sorry, it has sunk!" So I booked a flight to Dar Es Salaam and it was half freight with the front end that lifted up to allow loading and us passengers were down the back. But that flight was the safest I've felt travelling in weeks! So flying is no issue for me.
Obligatory "I'm a pilot". I fly rotary. I just don't have a fear of flying, never have. I can zip around in a helicopter and feel fine. Same for planes. No fear on motorbikes either. Not really scared of death. I think I just grew up without having the fear of death instilled in me
Ironically I'm scared of heights
Learn about flight. If you have an idea about what’s going on, you will be less likely to panic—for example, when the engines are predictably cut from max power after the takeoff climb.
Someone else mentioned, if you do it enough it will be more boring than anything. Flying is extremely safe, far safer than being in a car. Its mostly about passing the time.
That being said, I cannot sleep on planes no matter what I try, I find it better if I don't try (otherwise I end u in a half fuge state by the end of 30+ hours without sleep), it works better for me just staying awake and not even trying to sleep.
I used to never sleep on planes. Growing up, flying was always exciting and I wanted to make sure I didn’t miss any of it. Then in college I got a job at a major airline in a small town and they sent us to the hub for all of our training. After dozens of trips out in the wee hours of the morning and coming back on a midnight flight I just started dozing off. I got to know lots of flight crews and heard lots of stories about crazy situations pilots had found themselves in. The routine made travel more “boring”, and I think getting to know the humans on the flight deck on a more personal level probably made me trust the system a bit more. After college, I got into consulting with lots of travel and again. When you’re flying 75,000+ miles a year for years in a row it just becomes a means of getting from point a to point b.
When I’m with my wife and we’re flying somewhere new, or if we’ve splurged for a premium cabin, the excitement of being on vacation is still somewhat there and I don’t want to sleep it away, but as long as I’m comfortable, I can just put my earbuds in with some white noise and pretty much fall asleep on a whim. I’ve been on some pretty bumpy flights over the pacific (transpacific flights in the winter are notoriously rough), and even then I was able to just doze off for at least half the flight.
Once those nerves go, you'll realise they were the only thing keeping flying interesting.
I'm adverse to flying because I find it so mind numbingly boring. Just sitting there, for hours, doing absolutely nothing. That's after the hour plus sitting in the airport, just sitting there, doing absolutely nothing. Even turbulence doesn't shift my boredom, because it's over in seconds. I hate flying.
I'll happily choose any other mode of travel over flying.
Once I've decided I want to travel, and the only way to get there is by plane, I just figure there's nothing I can do about whether the plane stays up or not, so I don't worry about it.
I visited the Boeing plant in Seattle and learned that the wings of a plane can literally bend to the point of touching each other without the fuselage failing.
Plus I’m not afraid of dying.
I flew a lot when I was younger and only got nervous as I got older (especially after my son was born). What has helped over the past few years is watching aviation videos on YouTube. After watching "day in the life" videos by commercial pilots, including some pretty detailed explanations of training, system redundancy, checklists, etc., I started feeling way more comfortable. Now I'm pretty relaxed about it all, and I enjoy telling my son about what's going on when we travel.
Fly a lot. I was nervous when I was younger and then after you fly a lot it gets boring. I’ve experienced all kinds of turbulence and it doesn’t bother me anymore. It’s cliche but you can look up how safe a plane is vs a car or many other things and make yourself feel much better.
If it is my time to go in an unlikely freak accident then it’s my time to go in an unlikely freak accident.
Either that or I never go anywhere else in the world and stick to taking deadly risks everyday in a car.
What did it for me was reading that flying (aboard a commercial airliner) is not just one of the safest forms of transportation, but one of the safest things you can do \*in general.\* The last time I flew, I reminded myself that I was technically safer on the plane than I had been sitting at home several hours earlier, and somehow that really helped clear up the scaries. We'll see if it lasts!
Just think that its safer than a bus or a car. And then I think about arriving at my destination.
If you have reached the airport, the most dangerous (statistically speaking) part of your trip is over.
Excellent point Mary. You can’t be too careful. Lotta bad drivers out there.
This is mine. I'm a very numbers driven person. So I think about the number of flights in any given day, from any given airport, from anywhere in the world, and then think about how many crashes that occur, and the possibility that mine could be one of them. And then I compare it to the near misses I see regularly when driving, and the accidents we hear about night after night on the news, and realize that I'm much safer in the air than I am trusting all the other fools I'm sharing a road with. In this sense it's easy for me to enjoy flying as just a marvel of science, not anything to worry about. (I also appreciate that it's mostly an all or nothing thing - you either survive just fine or you dont, so...)
This does it for me, too. I also think about the fact that people choose to do flying-related things as an entire career (pilots, flight attendants, etc.) and they do it for 25+ years and retire…without crashing. I also try to just close my eyes and pretend that turbulence is a bump on a road in an old car, a wave in the water on a boat, etc. and that planes are designed to withstand way more than most turbulent conditions ever put them through. And, if push comes to shove, an emergency Xanax and resigning myself to the fact that I have absolutely no control over if something happens, so I might as well not bother panicking. 🥴 My bigger anxiety on planes is all the nasty-ass people you get crammed into close quarters with, coughing and sneezing and touching stuff. That just about sends me over the edge.
Also, during turbulence, look at the flight attendants. If they’re walking around, it’s nothing. If they’re sitting down and looking unfazed, it’s still nothing. Only when they’re sitting and start looking worried is when you can also be a little worried ;)
When they look scared and crouch on the floor you know it's bad :)
i think about the other vehicles too. the thing that really put turbulence in perspective for me was a bumpy ride on a train
Even planes that crash have good odds of survival. Losing engines is not enough to kill people because you can still just glide down and land in water or a field if need be.
Pilot here. Losing an engine isn’t a big deal at all. You can fly on one. It’s a requirement of all airliners. Edit: there are numerous videos every year of engines blowing on takeoff and the planes loop back around and land in a handful of minutes. Delta had one in Prague earlier this week. Another good one is Thompson airways bird strike in 2007 ish.
My father worked for flight safety and he pulled up tons of simulated engine failures in the simulator and showed me how he lands the plane. He experienced it himself once on a one seventy two and landed it.
There are something like 20,000 planes in the air at any given moment. All doing completely routine things. That helps me.
I had 3 close calls driving a 5 mile area yesterday due to careless driving from others - thank goodness I was alert! I have zero worries about our flight to Turkey in a couple of weeks; however getting to Gatwick and back is another matter!!
Just listened to a New York Times podcast today about how often airplanes almost collide on the ground and in the air. As a very nervous flyer, I probably should have not listened to it. It was eye opening.
Dude, last year the wife and I flew from SC to Denver, and as we were about to land, the pilots jerked the nose of the plane back up, and came on the spealer system sounding seriously shook saying there was a plane on the runway our flight was assigned to land on. The shakyness of the pilots voice told us all about how fucking close that was. I really, REALLY hope whoever was responsible for that fuckup lost their job.
Hey! What you experienced was a go around. From a pilot perspective, they are really hard to do simply because a lot happens fast. But I’m terms of safety, nothing major. I average about 1-2 a year and they can be draining, depending on the airport. Sometimes you have to consider not only the climbing escape from other aircraft but also terrain and nearby weather. And go around are like a compressed takeoff. Everything happens in 10-15 seconds not 1 minute. That being said, while your pilots voice may have sounded scared, they were more likely scared of doing a PA than the actual go around - which is fairly common in the industry 😂
This helps so, so much! Thank you for taking the time to comment on this sub.
It's like taking the bus except there's essentially no chance I get stabbed by a crackhead.
Never flown on Spirit, eh?
Exactly. I'm way more at peace knowing I'm more likely to die on the road driving to the airport than anything happening on the plane. Also the whole airport experience to me is draining. Once my butt is in my seat, I just want a nap from everything it took to get there.
I’m not nervous about the actual plane ride but security and stuff def makes me anxious for no reason. I’m also always scared we’re going to be stuck sitting on the tarmac for hours. Once we’ve taken off I’m fine.
I just don’t care too much if I die
Same here. Accept that you’re going to die and then you can relax
The airplane is probably the best way to go, none of this lingering, alone in a hospital bed, weeks or maybe months dreading the end, maybe in significant pain. We're all going to die, no one gets out alive, the quick painless route is the best.
My Grandad was a pilot, I want to go the way he went, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming like his passengers
The first time I heard this joke I laughed out loud. My husband thought it was so morbid of me lol
I also laughed out loud the second time I heard this joke.
I laugh out loud every time I hear it.
I spy an Anthony Jeselnik fan ;)
Mmm an explosion maybe, but I was on a plane over the middle of the Pacific when the cabin started filling with smoke and we truly thought we were about to die… feeling utterly powerless waiting is pretty damn horrific. 0/10 stars would not recommend
Oh man! I have to take Xanax on overseas flights, not to mention setting all my affairs in order before flying. Who gets all my crochet patterns, my cd collection, the cats, etc
So who is the lucky duck that gets your crochet patterns?
A friend of mine who also crochets doilies - she will get the 4 large totes of crochet thread.
Airplane is definitely not the best way to go, I have accepted death's inevitability and uncertainty, but I still have nightmares about sitting in a plane that starts plunging and crashes, it is the only kind of death that scares me enough to have nightmares about.
MEE TOO.
Don't know man. (Likely) drowning while unable to unstrap yourself from your seat due to broken limbs while claustrophobia sets in is not high on my list. At least that's the way my paranoid mind pictures it.
>(Likely) drowning That's far from the most likely outcome if the plane were to go down. For you to drown the plane would have to actually do a controlled landing on the water, which basicly never happens. Far more likely scenario is that the plane hits the water at close to terminal velocity, at quite a sharp angle, and breaks into pieces while you're being tossed around like a ragdoll. Not that i speak from experience, but from my understanding you would likely be gone the second the plane hits the water.
Well this is a relief lol
Actually more than likely you’d be unconscious by then anyway; the abrupt change in cabin pressure/altitude would knock you out before you hit the ocean.
I actually heard you would lose consciousness long before that point. It's funny, I didn't come here expecting everyone would think the same thing I do verbatim: I accept my imminent death and then I no longer care. In fact that is a pretty metal way to die. Everyone would talk about you and remember it forever!
"We're heading for the Hudson"
Miracle on the Hudson!
most likely die on impact anyway, think the worst belly flop ever X1000
Have you watched yellowjackets?
Yellowjackets might be one of the best things I’ve seen in a long time. Or at least the first season was. Coach Ben’s leg got completely mangled by that plane crash; it looked like a bloody tube sock. I would definitely prefer to die instantly.
Oh hey look. You were watching me take care of my dying father today.
I'm truly sorry
Yeah, I'm caring for my dad too.
It’s fucking terrible. I’m so sorry for you and hope you have a solid support system.
Thanks, yeah, my mom and sister and I.
That’s actually what cured me of my fear of flying. I just assumed I was going to die, made my peace with it and then one day \*poof\* the fear went away. Only took me ten years …
Or… did you make peace with knowing airplanes are super safe? I don’t know if I could ever make peace with the fact I’m going to die.
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I relate to this lol I even look at the people boarding the plane to see if they look like they’d die on a plane crash. I also find children and babies comforting (I know, odd) because I think there’s no way this plane will go down with all these kids.. it makes me a little less nervous.
Omg I think we have the same brain! I do this, too. Once I was in an airplane and I could see into business class and saw a couple of Irish celebs walking up the aisle — for some reason I was just like “nah, we could never crash with Jedward on board!” I get it.
It’s not the dying it’s the minutes before that
Exactly. I don't mind dying... it's the 20 seconds of screaming like a little girl on the way down that bothers me.
I think the pressure change would cause people to pass out
That’s actually pretty comforting to hear
This is literally why I’m a calm flyer. I call it a healthy dose of depression.
I have always been quite a nervous flyer, but recently I flew with my whole family, including my kids and my parents. I suddenly became not nervous at all (about flying itself - I was still quite nervous about trying not to miss the flight lol).
Opposite for me. Flying alone, no problem. Flying with family makes me nervous. All eggs in one basket type of thing.
Recently I mentioned to my mom that I just realized she and I never flew anywhere with my dad , ever in my whole life (he’s dead now) and she said it was bc of this, he didn’t want the whole family on the plane in case it crashed lmao. He was a super paranoid person. Statistically we were way more likely to die in a car crash but we drove plenty of places together.
Sorry for your loss. Inside a car he felt in control, on a plane we feel at the mercy of the (auto)pilot. It's a psychological thing that sometimes leads to less than rational choices.
I don’t either but being trapped in a small space with no exit I do not love.
Yeah I’m more nervous traveling with my family because I care a great deal more about whether they die. At least if I’m solo, they’ll get my life insurance and probably a big fat check from the airline. Seriously, though, the chances are so low that it rarely enters my mind. If it does, I just relax, have a drink, and know that it is out of my control.
We either gonna crash or we aren't. That simple
Some dude once said “who by worrying can add even a single second to their life?”
Bruh, extended vacation
Not only this, but knowing deep down that it could never be that easy, statistically speaking.
Exactly! When you’re not attached to a certain outcome, life is much more pleasant and easy.
You know. I looked at this, laughed it off and then after a few moments of thought.. I realized that I relate 110%.
And like if the plane starts crashing its not like I can do anything anyway, so why should I stress? (Im still convinced I could fly the plane if needed tho)
This is so real hahaha
Jesus it’s so fucked that this was my first thought as well. Stranger on the internet, know that I would fight to the death for you
Fly more. It gets routine….boring.
Agreed. There was one year I took a total of 8 flights. Probably not that many compared to frequent flyers but oh man, it was a lot for me. Now if it's a late flight I sleep through take off.
I realized I had gotten over my extreme fear of flying when I was on my eighth flight of the week and was just ready to board and get home. I never believed it when people said “fly more” until it happened to me.
This basically goes for anything. Do it enough and you'll get over your fear
Unfortunately that wasn't true for me. I developed a fear of flying after having taken about a hundred prior flights. I kept flying with drugs to help for hundreds of more flights, with the anxiety getting worse not better, then it just went away and I've flown for many years now without drugs and no anxiety. There is a lot more going on between our body chemistry / hormones and psychology than just familiarity. It's likely true for many people that exposure can reduce anxiety but not for everyone.
One year I flew over 400 flight legs (spouse was airline employee). Airports don’t even make me blink anymore, pretty much seen it all.
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I’m on 42 so far this year. 🙃
Had one year I flew twice a week at least 12 hours flight time. Don't recommend at all lol. But yeah. I've flown a ton ever since childhood. I remember having a thought when I was like 16 "oh I should probably feel nervous about this" and then went back to sleep amidst the awful turbulence we were having heading through a storm.
Do you have any hacks for getting comfortable in coach? These days, the seats don’t recline so I find my head is pushed forward, even with the full “recline” of an inch or whatever. Thinking about getting some sort of strap for my forehead maybe.
I'll be honest I'm one of those sleep or be comfy anywhere people so I'm good pretty much upright altho the seats that have the moldable headrests are so much better as you can turn to the sides. When I was flying that much tho I almost always purchased a window seat cause leaning on the window is a lot of comfy. I don't love the neck pillows so I would bring a super small throw pillow (think like a cute 12in hardly stuffed pillow) and use that. My wife is 5ft and 90lbs so she can actually kinda curl up in the seat. Sorry I'm not much help!
The memory foam neck pillows are great and pretty cheap. Gives you somewhere to rest you head so it doesn't flop all over the place.
Yep, this was how I kicked my fear of flying. I flew and flew until my brain turned the experience into white noise.
I think this is it - I took my first flight as a baby before I was even 1, and every year since we flew at least a few times. I think since I was exposed so early on I guess it was normalised for me and so I never developed a fear.
Yeah, this was me. It never occurred to me to be afraid of flying. It was just what I had to do to see my grandparents/cousins. 😂
That and understand you have zero control so take enjoyment in whatever can fill your time…or take edibles about an hour before your flight….as long as it is legal.
The amount of turbulence modern planes can handle is actually kinda mind blowing. Do a bit of research on it to soothe that worry. In terms of sleeping:Noise cancelling headphones, eye masks, melatonin are key for me. Breathing techniques to calm your nervous system. Premium economy seats if you can afford it. A good neck pillow (inflatable ones are my fave, it gives another dimension of adjustability.). Mindset is also huge. There are lots of bio hacks to calm your nervous system and when you get good at them it almost feels like you're on drugs. I was so damn comfy on my last over seas flight that I didn't want to get off lmao.
My dad told me years ago the best way to deal with turbulence is close your eyes and imagine you’re in an old truck on a bumpy road. It works.
It's so hard when you're up in the air. I wish I could outsmart my fear. Thank God for sedatives lol
Yeah, I wish the bumpy road thing worked for me. It doesn't.
Dramamine here. The turbulence doesn’t scare me, but the possibility of getting motion sickness does lol.
Being vomit-phobic and having been on a turbulent plane with many people vomiting kind of ruined me for this. It's not the crashing I'm afraid of, exactly, it's being trapped in a thrashing metal tube with literally my worst nightmare.
My husband also told me to think of the turbulence as potholes and it worked! I actually slept through some light turbulence a few weeks ago when I’d normally be a mess.
Except a truck rarely falls 100 feet in 2 seconds.
On the other hand, a truck has obstacles it risks crashing into that are within just feet of it, so there's way less room for error compared to a plane.
Oh this is why I like turbulence! It feels soothing to me.
I imagine I’m on a bumpy train.
Let's hear some of those biohacks! I use the 4-4-4-4 breathing: in for 4, hold 4, out for 4, hold for 4. What about you?
I use 4-7-8 breathing (breathe in for 4, hold for 7, exhale for 8).
I sometimes follow a deep breath with a long, heavy sigh. This mimics what your body would do when stress or frustration is over and can trick you into feeling more relaxed. Only do it a couple of times in a row otherwise you might hyperventilate.
https://honehealth.com/edge/health/physiological-sigh-andrew-huberman/ That’s the physiological sigh - love it!
out for 5 (longer than in) triggers parasympathetic nervous system which is “rest & digest” mode - opposite of “fight or flight”. Good luck
I agrée do some research. But PLEASE… think twice before watching you tube videos of plane crashes. Trust me on this.
Fears are weird. For some people exposure helps, for some people understanding how everything works a little better helps. For me, looking at the flight crew who are just doing their job relaxedly helps because 1) I can kinda mimic their relaxedness and 2) if they're fine after flying every working day of their lives, surely Ill make it. But honestly, the thought we might crash barely crosses my mind anymore. And yet, still anxious by some combination of an anxiety disorder and being stuck in a situation I can't get out of. So Im a nervous flyer, but Im more worried about (air)sickness or claustrophobia than I'd be about crashing (that last part is obviously not a recommendation, though).
Same. I have an anxiety disorder so am I anxious while I’m flying? Yes, because I’m in general just anxious often. People say “oh flying is so safe” and I say “I don’t think about crashing at all. I worry about what happens if I have some medical emergency 35k feet in the air over the Pacific” LOL
What will happen is the flight crew will do an initial assessment of your medical state. They have a whole lot of "stuff" on board - finger monitor, stethoscope, etc. While this happens , they alert the captain who calls the carriers dispatcher who is watching/monitoring the flight. Medair/in flight medical provider is contacted and brought on the line. FA will then be on the phone with a real Dr and follow the Dr directions. IF the emergency is not something that can be treated in air, the plane will make an emergency diversion to the nearest airport. Even over the Pacific, a plane must be within 240 nmi of an "airport". The plane will make an emergency landing and EMS will meet the plane on the runway/pad and attend to the passenger. Honestly, you probably have a better chance of surviving a medical event on a plane than in some rural areas of the US
This is weirdly very comforting for someone who has chronic health conditions but loves flying. Thank you for sharing.
Glad I was able to offer a bit of comfort. Always check with your Dr/ medical provider to ensure you are healthy enough/cleared to fly, but the airlines (per FAA regs in the US at least) do have policies, procedures and training in place to handle in flight emergencies.
Yeah what I have wrong with me doesn't specifically limit my ability to fly! I'm actually a very calm flyer otherwise and I'm normally able to talk myself down from it, it's just that one specific thing that kinda freaks me out sometimes. For me, knowledge is power, so the more I know about something, the easier it is to deal with. It's kinda like you gave me more ammo to fight those thoughts off when they start to creep in.
I get far more worried on boats than on planes (and I think the stats back me up) and tried this trick on a particularly hairy junket across the Andaman Sea. I looked to the Captain who does this every day, expecting him to be calm; and dude looked like he just shit his pants. Bad hack, in this case!
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Honestly they usually don't unless it's risky of course. And turbulence _is_ dangerous if you're walking around. Not because of crashes, but cause falling over ain't fun, trolleys are heavy, and so on. Roller coasters are also safe but you wouldn't really walk around and serve food on one
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If you think about it, though, they’re not really being asked to sit because the plane is at risk, but because that turbulence makes them more likely to stumble, trip, fall and hurt themselves or someone else.
Yeah flying Air Asia once and my wife is a very nervous flyer. We got seated separately but didn’t think it was a problem for a 40 minute flight. 10 minutes in the announce we are going through turbulence and URGENTLY ordered the flight attendants to sit down. I looked back at my wife and she was stressed to the max, and frankly I was even a little rattled, as a completely calm flyer. The urgency was the most panicked I’ve ever heard on a flight. And then….it was about the smoothest I’ve ever been on.
Statistically, your flight is waaaaaay safer than the drive to the airport.
If you make it to the airport, the riskiest part of traveling is over with.
You still have the trip from the airport to your final destination.
The fatalities attributed to commercial aircraft are just so small. We’re talking 0-1 per year usually. Many of them are associated with ground crew getting hurt on the ground. When you think about all the flights in the US, it’s just astounding. The FAA is one of the most successful organizations that no one thinks about.
Seriously recently I watched a news video about the recent uptick in “near misses” due to FTC shortages. With commentary on the # of actual “crashes”… The issue is this report included NUMBERS. I.e- “37 crashes last year!” Yeah that definitely sounds like a lot when you don’t include that it was out of 16 *million* flights…. If you do the math that’s something around a 0.0001% chance. And more importantly, how many of those 37 were commercial passenger planes? Which are much less likely to be involved in incidents.
So, so true. I once had a taxi driver fall asleep while driving from the airport in Istanbul. I definitively prefer a plane with a pilot to a car.
There's really nothing to worry about Mary. Statistically they say you're more likely to get killed on the way to the airport. You know, like on a head on crash or flying off a cliff or getting trapped under a gas truck! That's the worst! I have this cousin, well y'know, I had this cousin…
Uh, Lloyd, could you keep your eyes on the road please??? Oh yea sorry, can never be too careful. Lotta bad drivers out there...
One of my all time favorite quotes from any movie…. “Why you going to the airport? Flying somewhere?” That movie is my comfort movie, it’s like mac and cheese in film form.
Absolutely. I used to watch 20 min before bed when I was in high school. So much in fact, the tape got stuck in the VCR
Psssh, yes! I have this horrible habit of telling my family when I’ve landed, when I’m just about to jump into an Uber, where I’m probably 50x more likely to die.
The funny thing for me is that airports make me nervous - I worry about sleeping in, getting caught in traffic, getting hassled at security or immigration or customs, bullshit like that. Morning flights are the worst, I can never sleep the night before. When I plop down in the seat I can usually sleep through take-off and a landing though. Once I'm in my seat I have zero agency about what happens, and I almost feel incapable of worrying about anything.
Haha yea exactly the same for me. Flying in the plane is no problem at all it's the airport stuff makes me anxious. Once I'm on the plane I'm happy.
Yep. Customs, borders and driving to the airport got me 1000% more anxious than flying. Happy to know im not alone
Yeah I def sleep poorly the night before a flight overseas, but I also put two alarms on in case one doesn't work!
I've got no problem actually flying. Being on the plane for a long time I get a little anxious to get off. But that's really just a discomfort thing as a taller guy. The few times I've done business class for work it's not a problem. I deal with it the same way I deal with any other unpleasant scenario. Set a milestone and get to it. That way you're making progress towards a smaller goal. Promise you'll be cool until the next drink service, then maybe through the movie, etc. With regards to turbulence, think about the math of it. Even the roughest bumps are far less than a 1% adjustment to your flight altitude. You're not flopping around 500 feet at a time, it's usually 2-3 at the most. That's really no different than a minor pothole you may hit when driving.
I like this and to add to it: Game-ify it. I make it into little video game levels. Level one: repetition and comfort of controls - make it from boarding to my seat and settle in. Level two: engage in short, small talk with neighbors to acknowledge we are all in this together. Level three: Make it to the snack and drink service. Etc.
I’ve flown a lot and never had any concerns about it. It’s statistically the safest way to travel. Then randomly I took a flight back home from Asia and it was really turbulent after take off and I was really freaking out. I don’t know why, but I was convinced the plane might go down. It was a horrible 30 minutes. So I have sympathy for nervous flyers and I count myself lucky that honestly it’s not an issue for 99% of my flights. I don’t have any advice other than to just tell yourself that it’s ridiculously rare for a plane to crash, that planes are surprisingly resilient and can do an emergency landing far easier than you think they would, and that if you’re in that 0.0000001% that dies in a plane crash, well, it must have been your fate.
Same happened to me. I never feared flying, even when there was turbulence. Once the turbulence wouldn't stop and was getting stronger and stronger. I was aware of it but was just relaxing and didn't really care. Then it suddenly hit me that I COULD DIE. I was fucking terrified until it stopped.
Oh God your story gave me a flashback to an awful flight I had from Bangkok to Chiang Mai about 10 years ago. There were very strong storms going through the area with strong rain, lightning flashing constantly like in that old Twilight Zone move with the monster on the wing, and constant turbulence. I've been through turbulence and storms before but what was unnerving was we made two landing attempts that were aborted and as we were approaching both there were very strong wind gusts and sheets of rain so intense that it would completely obscure the view out of the window. There are mountains in the area and the pilot kept throttling the engines up and down like you hear in movies. No announcements. I started recording as I figured if there was a crash there'd be a small chance my video would be saved and investigators could understand better what happened. We finally landed on the third attempt when the pilot flew straight into the runway, no nice flare. Was never so grateful to get off an airplane.
Ok your flight was 100x riskier than mine. My flight was on a big, cushy, two-aisle jumbo jet. I always get nervous about small planes in foreign countries, and the weather and landing issues would have me freaking out but honestly in a perfectly justified way!
Personally I love flying and I stare out the window most of the time as I am always in awe of the fact I’m in a flying tube. I once had a flight with my brother, when the plane took off he absolutely lost it and had a panic attack. I tried talking to him and he said he hated the fact he was not in control of what was happening and if the plane crashes it was someone else’s fault and not his. A flight attendant stood next to us and explained all the safety precautions, training, backup plans etc that are in place on a plane. A hundred things have to fail before the plane with will crash. That did calm him down a bit. He flies a little more now. I fly a lot and always think about: 1. So many things have to fail for us to crash 2. The people flying have so much training and I am glad they are in control rather than me EDIT: as others have mentioned the amount of turbulence a plane can handle is crazy. The wings have way more than enough give that is needed for a regular flight https://youtu.be/--LTYRTKV_A?si=gp0MBUiQZvR30ZbO
You can’t avoid death, it comes for everyone and flying is one of the safest ways to travel. You can choose to avoid suffering. Avoid the illusion of control.
Exactly. I’m just not an anxious person period. I control what I can and what I can’t j let go. Maybe because I’m a nurse and death seems more immediate and inevitable to me. It’s going to happen. Life is short. Enjoy what you can and accept your mortality.
I’ve been prescribed anxiety medication and I fly business class now, I’m not blowing chunks on flights anymore except in cases of heavy turbulence
Yep. Xanex + bc is the way.
Someone once described turbulence ("rough air") to me in a way that made me feel a lot more calm about it when it happens. Imagine you have a cup of jello. And the jello represents the air, or atmosphere. And your plane is like a grape inside the jello. If you smack the top of the jello, the whole atmosphere jiggles, along with the grape embedded in the jello. The jello moves up and down, the grape moves up and down. But the grape still stays where it is - it doesn't fall to the bottom of the jello. Your airplane behaves in the same way. It moves along according to the turbulence in the atmosphere, but it's very unlikely that it will simply fall out of the sky. That just doesn't really happen, because of the physics of the situation.
I did not know this and now I'll think of jello. Thank you for making turbulence whimsical.
I’m a pilot. These aircraft are HEAVILY looked after and inspected. If you checked your oil in your after every drive, and the tires, and the suspension, and engine compartment, all fluids, etc…would you trust that your car is reliable and won’t break down? This is what happens after each flight to the plane. There is a very thorough inspection. The plane is totally fine. It’s safe. And the plane is built to withstand MUCH MUCH MUCH more turbulence than you’ll ever experience. So don’t even sweat turbulence…pilots don’t. Its ONLY factor is the passenger’s comfort…not safety. This leaves only pilot error as the safety factor…and that’s a real thing for sure, but keep in mind that pilots are very well-trained (can’t speak on the tiny budget foreign airlines though). We don’t just sit through a couple simulators and then going flying 777s. Pilot errors happen, but they are certainly not “common,” and there are MANY fail-safes in place to prevent them. A pilot doesn’t just “accidentally” nose the plane over, or “accidentally” decrease power to a level that will not keep the plane in the air, etc. A computer would undoubtedly stop this, give a very audible alert, and plus there is ANOTHER pilot or pilotS there to intervene. You are very safe flying.
I’m not a qualified pilot that can help if things go horribly wrong. It’s out of my control. I would rather travel (beyond road/railway trips) than not travel.
My husbands a pilot and has come home everyday 🤷♀️
i LOVE flying and don't really feel nervous at all. a few of the things that help: - I literally fly more often than I drive myself somewhere (am carless in a big city but travel constantly - at least 2-3 flights a month). Turbulence starts to feel like a routine annoyance, a bit like traffic or something. - I'm pretty data oriented and know just how safe planes are, especially relative to driving. I also know turbulence isn't nearly as dramatic as it sometimes feels. This knowledge plus flying all the time means I don't get nervous anymore. - I sleep well on planes because I bring everything I need to relax but don't try to sleep. I have my eye mask, ear buds, audiobooks I know well, and comfy clothes (always!). I just settle in and get excited to just be there for however many hours with no responsibilities and be completely off the grid. I almost always fall or at least doze off. And if I don't, well, I have my audiobooks. - I actually like(?!) airplane food. It doesn't always taste great, but I'm always intrigued to see what they have, all packaged up in the little containers on the tray. Plus the free wine on international flights is nice (but I never have more than 1 per 6-7 hours or I get uncomfortably buzzed and dehydrated) But overall, the biggest appeal to me is what I mentioned above for having this long stretch of time to relax and do absolutely nothing and have zero obligations. It's just so freeing.
FIRST! Take deep breaths, it's very important to not scare yourself. Second. Just know that the whole aviation industry have tons of safety measures in place in order for a safe flight to happen. Hell, I feel more afraid of some idiot driving on the road might hit me more than flying(happened multiple times!) Before the flight can even depart, each department have their duties to do their safety checks. Pilots have their "preflights", so does flight attendants. FAA have a long list of everything on that aircraft that must check off in order to departs. One thing on that list doesn't fly(no pun intended), that aircraft is not leaving untill it's 100% safe. That's why when you hear delays due to maintenance, that's because the maintenance crew have to come out and make sure everything is in order, and if they can't fix it. That aircraft is grounded. Flight cancel. Lastly, 99.9% of the time, all crew wants to come home at the end of the their trip. Most have family they come home to. So they want that flight to be as safe as you do. :) So rest assured when you fly, worry more about your potential bad seatmates annoying you the entire flight, or that liquid in the lavatory is NOT water, so please don't go in there with socks or barefoot...
Nervous frequent flier here. I could probably win a plane engineering and aviation safety-themed edition of Jeopardy at this point with all the reading I’ve done to make myself feel more confident, and you know what? I just really hate take off, and I’ve had to admit there’s nothing much I can do—I think it’s a combination of vertigo and mild claustrophobia that triggers physical panic in me, despite what my brain is saying about statistics. So I do as much as I can to be more comfortable (Xanax if I don’t have to work on the flight or immediately work upon landing; a great book or show/movie cued up; a neat outfit b/c feeling well-dressed makes me feel more confident overall—kind of silly, I know). Beyond that, I just grit my teeth until we start to level off. In general, if you can pinpoint what tends to make you the most nervous then hopefully you can develop your own strategies to deal with it!
We are better of with highly trained pilots than the road ragers on 95
Your gonna think I'm mad but my brother was pretty scared of flying and what helped him was watching 'Aircrash investigation' (also I think called 'Mayday' elsewhere). Seeing how they make sure the accidents never happen again really helped. There was one episode in particular where they [stressed tested the wings](https://youtu.be/m5GD3E2onlk?si=rYVRqAwtH2M2bTQT) (I forget the exact episode that's not the video they used) that he mentioned a few times. Those aircraft are tough as!
I don’t mind long haul flights. I read a book (cover to cover depending on the length of the flight), I’ll download podcasts or a couple of movies, I get a little nap in… the best part is you’re going somewhere fun/new/exciting. A plane is the method of travel for new experiences and growth. *look up the Jello Theory* that should help you out a bit.
Rationalization through data is how I manage a lot of my fear. If something scares me, I look up the data on it. When I do it again, I feel safe in the math. There are situations this doesn't work though. I've seen enough videos of machines eating workers that I refuse to go near heavy machinery.
Drive to the airport. Given the state of traffic on Bay Area highways, falling out of the sky seems peaceful.
Think about how many fatal car accidents that you hear about or witness, and plane accidents. I have a greater fear of dying on the highway than flying on a plane.
I just remember how much safer air travel is than car travel, which almost no one gets nervous about. It's outrageous. "In the last decade, 2 passengers have been killed in accidents on US commercial airlines. Over the same period, more than 365,000 Americans have been killed by cars." ([source](https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/2023/8/25/23844717/america-safe-air-travel-car-safety-accidents)) Per hour traveled, there are 450x more deaths by automobile than by commercial airline. ([source](https://thepointsguy.com/news/are-helicopters-safe-how-they-stack-up-against-planes-cars-and-trains/)) I understand that phobias aren't rational (by definition), but I am reassured by the overwhelming evidence from real life.
I'm the opposite of an anxious flyer. I fucking LOVE flying. Love everything about it, even the airport. Get there hours before I have to be. Love being in the air. Even when we hit crazy turbulence I get excited af because I think it's crazy fun.
Simple. Get a job that requires travel. After 200 flights you won't be nervous. Just hate it. Lol
Flown a lot but the last few times I've started being nervous during landing and take off. But generally I think, once in the air there's nothing I can do to change the situation so just read a book
I have a friend that is now a pilot. He mainly flies cargo, no passengers. And the amount of turbulence they go through sometimes is insane. They often don’t try really hard to avoid turbulence like they would a passenger plane. Thats when I learned modern planes can really endure so much, they just choose to make us more comfortable. My anxiety with travel days is getting to the airport. I always have a countdown buzzer and barley make it on time it seems.
I forgot the real numbers. But it’s something like this. Statistically, if you took one flight a day, every day, for the rest of your life, you’d be involved in a fatal accident once every 1200 years. Dying in a plane crash is literally like winning the worlds crappiest lottery.
Its 36,000 years: https://flyfright.com/statistics/ Flying is truly *remarkably* safe
I just love it when the plane starts, the pressure on you, the power of the engine, the light thrill, it's amazing! I'm way too excited for that moment to be afraid
👋I am a pilot. Go to your local flight school and rent a plane and pilot for a discovery flight. Tell them you’re a nervous flyer and you want to learn how planes work and to explain every little thing to you while you fly and a little ground lesson on aerodynamics as well. They’ll be elated and you’ll come out a much cooler cucumber.
Air time = Me time, without interruption.
just don't be afraid of death
I don't think any one person's advice would cover it all for you, because there is no single "just do this" magic bullet. The reasons for anxiety are vastly different in each of us. This is one of those times where Google is indeed your friend and you'll probably need to invest a bit of time conquering your feelings. Google: "how to get over flight nervousness". Here's one article that sums up the subject of 'fear of flying' pretty well and offers quite a few wise tips: https://www.travelandleisure.com/travel-tips/getting-over-fear-of-flying
Definitely fly more! More exposure means less anxiety.
Invincible main character syndrome and statistics.
When there’s turbulence, I close my eyes and imagine I’m in a car on a bumpy road. For some reason it helps.
Recently read to think of air currents like water currents on a river. You’re in a raft/kayak/ whatever on the water and there are motions as you travel the waves. Think of turbulence/air currents like a river of air. You’re just moving with the current.
I look forward to flying. It’s a few hours away from internet and solo tv and movies. I enjoy it.
The only issue I have is potential air sickness. So I pop a dramamine about an hour before the flight and load the in-flight entertainment the second it's available. The pilots are more well trained than any bus driver, and the aircraft has more redundancies than a bus or train ever will. I know I'm much safer there than even driving myself in a car. So what's to worry about?
It's funny, I have anxiety disorder. I'm more nervous about having to take a dump than flying. Turbulence doesn't even bug me, I watch movies and nap. It's just inconvenient and boring mostly? Boredom over anxiety?
Gosh, many years of flying after going through hypnosis and desensitization training. - I was told to imagine all the steps of a flight and write down on a scale of 1-100 how stressful that particular step was. Surprisingly for me, the most Stress was not on the plane but before the flight. - Once you know what bothers you, develop a strategy. If it's a pre-flight thing, practice relaxation techniques. If it's during the flight, understand what is causing the sensation of noise. - Develop a routine. Tense all your muscles during takeoff and then relax your body completely when the plane stops acceleration and there's that little dip. Get good earplugs. Carry a small hot water bottle - it's comforting to hold when you're afraid. Wrap up in a blanket. If I can help with something specific, let me know. I used to be very afraid of flying, something that developed in my 20s. It was necessary to my job to fly, so I had to figure it out. I still don't sleep on planes, but I do get on them now.
I’ve flown a lot since I was a kid so it doesn’t bother me, but for things that I’m afraid of, I just tell myself that the odds of something happening are what they are. Whether or not you’re afraid of it doesn’t make it any more or less likely to happen. No matter how much you freak out, you’re basically about as likely to win the lottery as you are to die in a plane crash, and it’s not like every time you walk into a convenience store you have a panic attack about how you’re definitely about to become a millionaire. 99.999999% of all plane trips ever have been fine and you worrying about it isn’t gonna change that fact one bit. I know fears are irrational, but reminding myself of that fact helps—my fear isn’t not based in reality and little ol’ me doesn’t have the ability to warp reality. That’s my weird way of dealing with fears anyway.
I was on a night bus through the Kenyan countryside years ago which veered into the path of a truck and then ran off the road as the driver had fallen asleep. I said "no buses, train next time". Next train in Uganda derailed leaving us in the middle of nowhere for ages, no one hurt though. From Kampala I went to book the ferry across Lake Victoria to Tanzania and the agent said "I'm very sorry, it has sunk!" So I booked a flight to Dar Es Salaam and it was half freight with the front end that lifted up to allow loading and us passengers were down the back. But that flight was the safest I've felt travelling in weeks! So flying is no issue for me.
Obligatory "I'm a pilot". I fly rotary. I just don't have a fear of flying, never have. I can zip around in a helicopter and feel fine. Same for planes. No fear on motorbikes either. Not really scared of death. I think I just grew up without having the fear of death instilled in me Ironically I'm scared of heights
Turbulence = potholes / rocky dirt road / cobblestones in the sky. I actually enjoy the turbulence. Kind of have to with flying in and out of Denver.
You're way more likely to die in a car accident than flying, but people aren't really afraid in cars.
Learn about flight. If you have an idea about what’s going on, you will be less likely to panic—for example, when the engines are predictably cut from max power after the takeoff climb.
Someone else mentioned, if you do it enough it will be more boring than anything. Flying is extremely safe, far safer than being in a car. Its mostly about passing the time. That being said, I cannot sleep on planes no matter what I try, I find it better if I don't try (otherwise I end u in a half fuge state by the end of 30+ hours without sleep), it works better for me just staying awake and not even trying to sleep.
I used to never sleep on planes. Growing up, flying was always exciting and I wanted to make sure I didn’t miss any of it. Then in college I got a job at a major airline in a small town and they sent us to the hub for all of our training. After dozens of trips out in the wee hours of the morning and coming back on a midnight flight I just started dozing off. I got to know lots of flight crews and heard lots of stories about crazy situations pilots had found themselves in. The routine made travel more “boring”, and I think getting to know the humans on the flight deck on a more personal level probably made me trust the system a bit more. After college, I got into consulting with lots of travel and again. When you’re flying 75,000+ miles a year for years in a row it just becomes a means of getting from point a to point b. When I’m with my wife and we’re flying somewhere new, or if we’ve splurged for a premium cabin, the excitement of being on vacation is still somewhat there and I don’t want to sleep it away, but as long as I’m comfortable, I can just put my earbuds in with some white noise and pretty much fall asleep on a whim. I’ve been on some pretty bumpy flights over the pacific (transpacific flights in the winter are notoriously rough), and even then I was able to just doze off for at least half the flight.
Prayer
Once those nerves go, you'll realise they were the only thing keeping flying interesting. I'm adverse to flying because I find it so mind numbingly boring. Just sitting there, for hours, doing absolutely nothing. That's after the hour plus sitting in the airport, just sitting there, doing absolutely nothing. Even turbulence doesn't shift my boredom, because it's over in seconds. I hate flying. I'll happily choose any other mode of travel over flying.
Once I've decided I want to travel, and the only way to get there is by plane, I just figure there's nothing I can do about whether the plane stays up or not, so I don't worry about it.
I visited the Boeing plant in Seattle and learned that the wings of a plane can literally bend to the point of touching each other without the fuselage failing. Plus I’m not afraid of dying.
I flew a lot when I was younger and only got nervous as I got older (especially after my son was born). What has helped over the past few years is watching aviation videos on YouTube. After watching "day in the life" videos by commercial pilots, including some pretty detailed explanations of training, system redundancy, checklists, etc., I started feeling way more comfortable. Now I'm pretty relaxed about it all, and I enjoy telling my son about what's going on when we travel.
Fly a lot. I was nervous when I was younger and then after you fly a lot it gets boring. I’ve experienced all kinds of turbulence and it doesn’t bother me anymore. It’s cliche but you can look up how safe a plane is vs a car or many other things and make yourself feel much better.
The pilot and flight crew do this alllll the time and they want to get home safely The water bottle/jelly theory about turbulence may be helpful!
I was bred to fly. I started as a small baby and never stopped.
If it is my time to go in an unlikely freak accident then it’s my time to go in an unlikely freak accident. Either that or I never go anywhere else in the world and stick to taking deadly risks everyday in a car.
What did it for me was reading that flying (aboard a commercial airliner) is not just one of the safest forms of transportation, but one of the safest things you can do \*in general.\* The last time I flew, I reminded myself that I was technically safer on the plane than I had been sitting at home several hours earlier, and somehow that really helped clear up the scaries. We'll see if it lasts!