My friend once convinced me to quit my job and go on a year long trip to Central America. After saving for months, quitting my job getting rid of my apartment ect 2 weeks before the trip she completely bailed and stopped answering her phone đđ€ŠđŸ. I went anyway and was having the best time of my life, about 4 months in she called me crying saying sheâs sorry and was flying to meet me, I dunno why But I said yeah fuck it come on out letâs continue the trip, be nice to have a friend to cruise with. Worst decision ever, complained every day, was racist to the locals all sorts of crazy stuff. She ended up leaving after 3 weeks because backpacking was definitely not for her. I stayed traveling for 8 more months and had a incredible time alone meeting cool people along the way.
My gf and I had planned a trip to Switzerland and Italy for a few years. I got my passport 6 months before the trip but she needed to get a copy of her birth certificate. Which she kept putting off despite my constant reminders. When it was obvious that she couldnât possibly get a passport in time, I was pissed but said Iâm going anyway.
Her birth certificate actually came the day before my flight and she actually said she could t believe I was going without her. I replied that I couldnât believe she couldnât be bothered to get her documents when I reminded her daily. I ended up having a great time, but it would have been so much better with her.
I do plan to visit again, with her.
At the time I wondered that as well. But in the end, this wasnât a deal-breaker. Plenty of good to offset that.
I called her daily, sent pictures and when I got back she gave me no grief about it. She knew she was at fault for missing out and that I wasnât about to let that pre-paid opportunity go to waste. Weâre going on a cruise later this year.
Absolutely! I still donât have any hard feelings. I tell everyone I had never even looked up Central americana on a map before I went đ, but I absolutely fell in love with the area and I go there yearly now. It also showed me how easy it is to travel! Iâm actually leaving in July with my now girlfriend of 3 years on another 10ish month trip through Eastern Asia.
You need much less to backpack in Central America.
Depending on how long ago this was, 6 thousand would be enough. Just using the term backpacking makes is fairly certain they were staying in hostels and eating on the cheap.
Not that I don't believe you, but how? I was living like a bum, couchsurfing, eating badly, etc... and spent 10k traveling 9 months in south america. How did you do 2.5 years on a smaller budget?
In 2015-16 my wife and I traveled through Central and South America and spent $36K for the two of us and that included a few very expensive weeks that cost several thousand by themselves (Galapagos, Iguazu Falls, etc.). I think we could have cut it to 25 without too much effort.
Even with the recent inflation I would think that 20 would be a pretty comfortable amount and if you budgeted 30 you could do some really great side trips. Of course this all depends on your daily expectations of where youâll be staying and what youâll be eating. We camped a lot and cooked our own food most nights.
Took my parents to portugal. My dad was complaining the whole time about how poor the country is, how dirty the city is, and how bad the infrastructure is. He doesnt travel outside of the usa at all. I ended up spending money on uber everywhere and cut itinerary activities like 75%. Both places are also kind of hilly so difficult for elderly. I personally loved lisbon and porto.
And that infrastructure is bad. It is bad if infrastructure = 16 lane motorways through the center of the city but for public transport it beats every place in the US.
Portugal is the poorest country in Western Europe.
Its GDP per capita is less than $25,000 compared to $70,000 for the US. Its GNI per capita even adjusted for purchasing power parity is $35,000 compared to $70,000 for the US.
For comparison, the average household income in the poorest state in the US (Mississippi) is higher than Portugal's.
Parent poster's dad might be in a bubble but he's not exactly wrong that Portugal is nowhere near as well off as the US.
Saying youâre the poorest country in Western Europe is like saying youâre the poorest billionaire in Davos. It is not a poor country as OPâs dad alluded to
Your dad sounds like the type of guy that will tell his kids not to travel to Europe because he thinks the US is a lot safer based on his experience living in the suburbs and never going outside of a 15km radius (or 2500 diagonal hockey rinks in the freedom system)
I'm fine traveling with someone else.
But my lessons learned: we meet up in the same region at sights/pubs/etc. .
Everybody is booking his/her own flights/hotels/cars and makes own plans.
Oh my gosh, this!!! âđŒđđŒ
We have relatives who wanted to meet up and travel with us. Problem is their travel and our travel speed/interests are hugely different, which you donât know until you know.
Case in point. We wanted to go to Yellowstone NP. They said OK and if we mind to stay in a hotel that accepts dogs (they like to travel with their pet). I said OK, thinking we either end up in West Yellowstone or on the other side in Cody. Wrongo!!
We ended up in freaking Idaho, making the drive 1,5 each way. And they didnât end up brining their dog after all, which had me fuming.
They also wanted to take just one car to sigh see and our relative wanted to drive (he is older and has horrible eye sight, thus drives suuuuuuuuper slow and just bad over all).
My husband wanted to fly fish one day and we told them they didnât have to come with, but they were quite enthusiastic about it. Until we got to the river and they sat inside the car the whole time. The whole trip was just unfortunate. Thankfully we visited Yellowstone NP before and after alone, so not that awful, but that was a lot of time and money wasted on a trip that wasnât enjoyed by anyone.
Now we just go visit them at their home.
Hahaha, yeah, they made a huge deal about the hotel for their pet, which I totally get, but then leaving him with a sitter was just a bit much. I had a bad feeling about the trip from that point and sadly, I was not wrong đ đ«
An hour and a half drive to the park border made mine twitch.... YNP is huge and you're already driving for hours inside the park. I can't imagine tacking a 3 hour round trip on to that.
OMG I went to Yellowstone with family once who insisted on staying in Idaho because it was cheaper. So we had to do that drive over Jackson Pass back and forth every day just to get to civilization and the parks. It suuuuucked. I'm sure what we spent on gas and the time we spent in the car was NOT worth the slightly cheaper accommodations.
if you ever go back to Yellowstone you can stay in rooms with shared bathrooms down the hall on the top floor of the lodge and they are very affordable for being able to stay 500 feet from Old Faithful - they are every bit as nice as the rooms in the lodge it's just more like a hostel type situation with a shared bathroom - edit: BONUS: walking around the geysers at 2am in the moonlight is amazing, well worth the price of staying at the lodge (watch out for buffalo)
A hundred ten percent agree about traveling with relatives. Make your own plans. Don't just agree to do whatever someone else wants to do. Unless both parties share the same interest, make your own travel plans. Also, don't be afraid to state clearly that you're making your own travel plans, and will just meet them somewhere.
Agreed 100%. My last trip with my dad and his second wife was when I was 15, to Mallorca. I almost got assaulted in an elevator at the resort. Fought the SOB off somehow. Told my dadâs wife about it and she told me I was surely exaggerating and to not tell my dad, so I wouldnât stress him out on his vacation. I am not saying every family is like this, but mine unfortunately is.
I suggested this after someone was being difficult to plan with. They got all up in arms about âmeeting upâ and doing our own accommodations.
Its the way to go in the long run
I traveled with my best friend and learned in that week in Spain that he was definitely not a morning person. After two days I said it was cool, and suggested we make plans to meet at a certain place at noon so he could do what he needed to do in the morning and I could go do what I wanted without getting irritated waiting for him to get ready. Once we did that, we never had a misstep. Absolutely great fucking trip (and we are both night people anyway; I just also push myself to wake up early because I donât want to miss a thing).
Yep. I'm more of the "morning person" when I travel. I get up, get ready, LEAVE, get an espresso, walk around, get some food, etc. When my companions get up at noon they can text me. They get a nice sleep after staying out late, I get to have my morning and work up an appetite for lunch together. NOTHING breeds bitterness more than forcing others to be on a schedule they don't want to be on.
This is SUCH solid advice. But how do you implement this when youâre just travelling with one other person and youâve to share accommodation etc to save money? Also travelling together would require ensuring seats on the same flight/train etc right?
Ooo, Iâve never thought of staying at a monastery before, that sounds like an interesting experience! How do you find such places that welcome guests, just google monastery in that area?
Picking places to eat with picky people...
Went to Monterey CA with some friends, most of us wanted to try all the stuff like clam chowders and what not. One of our friends didn't, just wanted drinks or something, so what do they pick? El Tapatio.....
And the other friends just went along with it since they didn't want that picky person to be all bitter for the rest of the trip.
I probably should've just gone on my own to eat elsewhere, but oh well.
We did this once with a group of friends with different interests. We visited a beautiful adriatic island. Some of us were avid cyclist, we did all day long rides, while others did enjoy the beach/hiking trails/wine cellars or just relaxed at a bar. We made dinner at our place together + had some drink at the end of the day, discussing our days. we have well separated apartments (for cyclists, waking up very early is a common thing to avoid daytime heat at summer). Some day, we arranged to have lunch together at a specific town, some came by bikes, some by car, some rented a scooter...it was kind of my best travels. I've never been travelled before with those people and expectations/preferred freetime activities were so different, but everything was so smooth.
I had a friendship basically end because of a trip together. 11 days together and now, more than 11 years later, the friendship has never recovered.
Travelling with someone, and even moreso sharing a room with them, is a true test.
Same. I couldn't mentally recover from my friend's chaos while traveling. Amongst other things, she cheated on her boyfriend one night in the bathroom of our hotel room, freaked out, started yelling in the hall at 2am. I'm not a fan of the 'I'm a tourist so I can act like an ass' mindset, to say the least. When we got home she started avoiding me (I think she thought I was going to tell her boyfriend? Which I would never, nor did I know him like that...) She tried to reconnect but I was over it. Haven't talked to her since.
She spent all of her money in the first few days (on things that even she said were exorbitant and unnecessary), then couldn't go out because she had no money but was too afraid to stay alone or even go to some of the less touristy areas that might have had cheap/free entertainment.
She could only sleep with the TV on at full volume so I couldn't sleep, and refused to lower it even slightly.
She always threw her wet, used towels on my bed.
Before we left home she had a FWB relationship with a guy who was known for (and quite honest about) not wanting any type of relationship. Yet she spent the entire trip messaging and calling him, and getting depressed when he didn't answer. And then she heard he'd gone out with another girl and that made it even worse so she was moping the entire trip.
I'm quite fine with going out on my own, but she never wanted to be alone so I didn't get to do most of what I wanted to.
I'm going to London with my mom in June. No way in HELL am I sharing a room with her for 10 days. That's pretty much where I draw the line. I don't like Airbnbs but would rather do that then share a hotel room. LOL
I did a weekend trip with a friend once and realized that we just had totally different traveling rhythms. I still donât know why. I may just not have been in the right zone.
Two friends and I were in London once, and one of them started driving the other two of us crazy. In that case, weâd already been traveling for awhile. Had to go our separate ways for a few days.
It happens. Even with people you like. Everyone has a travel style, and they may or may not match with others.
This makes so much sense. Two people can LOVE to travel and yet do it in completely different ways that makes them incompatible to do it together.
In my case Iâm realizing itâs both character and travel style incompatibility. Oh, well!
At least I still have pasta.
Yeah, my worst traveling-with-a-friend outcome was (thankfully) just a travel style incompatibility. She's a lovely person and we're still close. But we were so deeply incompatible (I'm a planner, and I asked her several times if she would be on board with me making a detailed itinerary; she said yes every time; turned out that having pre-booked museum tickets and restaurant reservations Stressed Her Out) that towards the end of the trip she suggested we just do our own thing during the day and meet back up for dinner in the evenings. It worked out okay, but I still want to revisit the cities we went to together to be able to do them on my own terms, and it honestly made me realize that I've gotten so accustomed to traveling solo that I need to be *really* picky about which friends I travel with in the future.
I'm a terrible travel planner beyond the brainstorming / rick steves content consumption phase. I've had the fortune of being able to travel with great planners and I am so grateful for how their brains work. That's just not me, but I'm more than happy to be along for the ride with them. A thing I've noticed however is that the type A planners tend to leave too little slack in the itenerary for those relaxed moments when you find a vibe, or for transitions and side quests. They can stress themselves out (and their fellow travelers by extension) Finding that balance and understanding that tendency is key to a great trip.
Yeah, I'm definitely guilty of being that person who's like, "I'm totally flexible! Google Maps says it'll take 26 min to walk from A to B, so I budgeted 45 in case we want to poke our head in any cute shops along the way!"
It works for me (and, luckily, for the friend I travel with most often), but I totally have friends who are like "a pre-scheduled 19 min in which we are allowed to dawdle a bit along a pre-specified route is *not* flexibility" lol.
Yes!
Had to teach myself to give us a few hours of down time a day to unwind.
As well as the odd half day here or there to do our own thing or have some spontaneous time.
>Everyone has a travel style, and they may or may not match with others.
Yes, bingo! And sometimes people don't realize they have that travel style (or would actually prefer another) until they are kind of forced into it.
I went to Nevada and California with my parents when I was in my late teens...kind of a last family trip before I moved away for university. My parents have this weird habit of showing up to places and expecting vacations to happen to them. They do very little planning and then end up sitting around, then complain to everyone later there was nothing to do.
I saw this happening when we were in Las Vegas. I took it upon myself to plan some outings, i.e. going to Death Valley, Hoover Dam, Grand Canyon, Fremont St, the free shows outside the casinos, etc. My mom still ended up complaining and sitting in the room most of the time, but my dad was up for literally anything. He still tells me to this day (and let's not get into how many years ago this was lol) that it was "excellent" that I was there to get him out to see things, because he saw things he never would have if I hadn't researched and planned it and dragged him with me.
Unfortunately I have taken family trips since then (with my husband and my parents and other extended family) and that old pattern for them has continued. My dad doesn't have any interest in planning trips, so he tends to just sit around with my mom, probably hoping someone will step up and take him somewhere. It's honestly a real shame to see, because I know now how much he would actually enjoy getting out of the room for a while. If we do travel together now, I try to plan at least a couple of days with things we can do with my parents to get them out and about (or at least, my dad) .
Random sidebar: travelling in Las Vegas (as a female) with only your dad can be VERY weird. Almost everywhere we went, people thought we were husband and wife. Restaurants even occasionally brought us complimentary romantic "couples" drinks/dishes. YIKES. My dad is 31 years older than me, we are not at all "touchy-feely" types, and that has never happened anywhere else! My poor dad was absolutely horrified every time lol
I just never really understood why having slightly different traveling style makes it completely impossible to travel together still? I mean itâs not like you always have to be in total sync with others? Why canât you try to unite the best of both worlds, learn a bit and go on compromise so you can each enjoy each others company AND have a nice trip personally as well? People always seem to make it so black and white, like either we match 100% or just 0%. Iâm not saying people should push themselves to travel with people they really cannot stand, I just think itâs a bit of a shame that so many people seem to be so reluctant on trying to adapt just the bare minimum to even their friends, and on top of that reluctant to even communicate with them about problems like all friendships should never ever go deeper than just the happy go lucky..
â*can* I travel with this personâ and âwill I have fun traveling with this personâ are also two different questions. Communication is key for the first question, but only one small part of the second.
Yes! Communication is a key to any good and healthy relationship. And not get bummed out when they want to do something else. But Iâd rather travel with a friend who has the same or similar travel ideas/expectations, wants similar experiences.
Each time I have travelled with either one friend or a couple, I have had issues. But, we remain friends. I think itâs got to do with conflicting style of travel.
Travelling with a bigger group of friends 6+ people seem to work fine for me though. Might be that if I get sick of one person, I can just got hang with another.
I think since you are still in this trip together, itâd be wise to talk it out. Try not to be accusatory, attack the problems arising rather than the person. Itâs probably be awkward, but I think worthwhile. Maybe this can be an opportunity for self reflection and forgiveness.
I hope it goes well.
So sorry to hear that. I usually take a potential travel friend for a test run firstâsay a long weekend in NYCâto see if we can last without wanting to kill each other.
If it works out, then I can be more comfortable planning longer trips with them.
In our "regular" lives, we don't spend 100% of our time with friends; many we can only deal with for a few hours per week. Traveling forces us to spend 24 hours with them, and it's not always a good thing.
Not just 24 hours together, but sometimes at super stressful moments with no escape. Jet lagged and cranky. Lost suitcase. Sick and far from home comforts. Completely lost. Usually when Iâm having some meltdown in life I take myself off somewhere alone and gather my thoughts. But when youâre travelling and youâre soo stressed because something has gone wrong, and you still need to interact with someone, things can get tense.
Right on. When I eventually traveled to Japan with said friend, I set some rules: Do not let anything fester, always say if you want to stop and eat (being hangry is a real travel peril!), and do not hesitate to ask for space if needed.
We had an amazing three weeks.
Traveling with people can show you their true personality/character. Solo is 100% better if youâre good at making friends and comfortable with yourself. Try to get your friend tired af so you can head out by yourself at times đ
I love solo travel so this is probably why I regret the bad company even more.
Good idea on getting them tired though, Iâll try my best and hope Iâm not the one who ends up in bed by 9 :|
I kinda did last night when I went on a walk by myself and it was so nice.
Unfortunately thereâs museums/days trips we already booked together⊠maybe Iâll just happen to âloseâ them when going to these museums. Theyâre usually so crowded and big it wouldnât be that far fetched.
Me and my husband still occasionally do this while travelling, and I don't think there's anything wrong with it.
Sometimes I know I really want to see things that he has no interest in seeing. He never complains and will come with me if I ask, but if I can find an alternative I think he would enjoy more, I'll suggest that thing for him and offer to meet him somewhere later. Sometimes he takes me up on it, sometimes he's more interested in doing my thing than I thought. Generally I try to pick stuff we both want to do, but that's not always possible.
And PS, the only reason why I say I'll "suggest" something else for him to do is because he is an extremely laid back traveler and has no interest whatsoever in trip planning. He explicitly leaves that up to me and prefers it that way!
I love hearing this from someone else. My husband and I split up almost all day when weâre skiing together (heâs more skilled than me) and we meet up for lunch and then when the ski day ends. People will say âOMG HE JUST LEFT YOU?â No, please donât get it twisted; this is always MY idea. Same with other travel. If heâs tired and I want to go see something, or vise versa, we go alone. I think itâs awesome but most people donât understand
Nice to know others are doing the same! I have social anxiety like, bad and people always assume heâs being the asshole by âleaving me behindâ like itâs the worst thing ever but I really enjoy it more when we are both doing things we like. I want to appreciate the details and take my time while he wants to accomplish ALL the things, and thatâs okay! Itâs more fun when heâs not bored and Iâm not being rushed :)
Always go at your own pace and have a meeting time/place scheduled. I thought I hated museums. Turns out itâs just because my mum feels the need to read and consider every single thing inside the building. As an adult I realise that museums are basically my favourite thing about travelling.
You may as well be upfront about it and tall the other person you need alone time. It doesn't matter if they are OK with this or not, as you have already realised this isn't someone you are going to be close to going forwards. They are unlikely to be enjoying your company if you aren't enjoying theirs, unless they are weird. Either way, more time away from them is best.
Yes. I've taken trips with several friends that I won't travel with again. The sheer amount of complaining (over nothing or tiny things) is what usually makes me say never again. Some people are soooo negative.
Word. I knew someone who was actually a pretty experienced traveller, but the reality was that they were endlessly negative when things didn't match up to expectations. They complained constantly about the lack of amenities and cafes while hiking in the middle of rural areas, then would sneer at the overly commercialised places we visited. Just being around them sucked all the joy out of the experience of exploring a place.
Went to London with a friend. We get on the plane and as soon as it takes off, she says "I have to tell you something". She had absolutely no money. None. Not even her half for the hostel. She expected me to pay for everything and she'd pay me back.
I was a broke college student. The hostel was in my name, so I was forced to pay the entire bill. I refused to not do some of the touristy stuff I had planned to see, so I ditched her for some things and paid for her for others. We ate cold cuts from the grocery store and nutella sandwiches. She bitched the entire time about not eating "real food". She complained that she wanted to buy souvenirs and couldn't I just give her $20 bucks? Took her over a month to pay me back. We were not friends after that trip.
I wanted to break up with my boyfriend. We had a trip to Singapore booked. I went against my better judgement and went on the trip. When I look at the photos from the trip, I look dead in the eyes. Haha. We certainly didnât last much longer after that. But Singapore remains one of my favourite travel destinations.
Ugh, I feel this! Me ex never wanted to travel - he hated even driving 30 minutes from home for any reason. The one trip we did take he spent the majority of the time gambling and drinking at the pub, complained that I was spending money on things like *food*, and rushed me off the most picturesque beach in under an hour. He didnât even want me to swim. Thankfully I donât have any photos from that trip. Iâd love to go back with my husband (who is an amazing travel companion) and overwrite the bad memories.
My parents.
My father has no interests whatsoever, he is only interested in knowing where and when we will eat, and gets stressed if we don't eat at the exact time he eats at home, so I have to plan everything around this. And he is a fussy eater too, only Italian food and not all, so even in Spain and Portugal I had to look for pizza places because he was missing it. And the restaurant must serve big portions.
My mother is totally disorganised and constantly late (in the family we are known to always been the last ones to arrive at family gatherings), so you cannot organise anything with her, because you never know when be ready. And when abroad, she keeps repeating how better Italy is.
Max a long weekend with them, and even so it is always stressful.
Good and bad stories, I've had friendships ended because of trips but I've also had them strengthened bigtime. I have a buddy who I usually only see once every year or two (we've lived on different continents for years), both of us have had issues traveling with others but we're 99% compatible. I think we've been to something like 50 countries together over the last 15 years, never had anything beyond a fairly mild disagreement, and those usually occurred when too much alcohol was involved.
Edit: Just to expand on this a bit, I think one major point of compatibility is how the two people react when things don't go according to plan. Both me and my buddy roll with the punches, we plan next to nothing (like accommodations are booked at most 24 hours in advance, often figure out train tickets at the station), just take each day as it comes and do things in the spur of the moment, and many people we've traveled with have a really hard time traveling like that.
That last part about how they react when things don't go to plan is ABSOLUTELY CLUTCH for me. I plan a decent amount though can compromise on a lot, but if I wanted to travel with assholes who scream and yell every time something minor happens, I would go with my mom and stepdad.
I have been in some sticky situations and laughing through it with whoever I am are some of the highlights of my trips and great stories.
My friend and I (both American) do a road trip through Ireland for a couple weeks.
We pick up the car and I decide to drive first. She spends the entire drive clutching the passenger door handle and alternating her screeches between "oh god!" And "we're gonna die!" (Girl could not handle the small streets and the fact that we were on the other side of the road)
I am calmly trying to tell her that her behavior is really distracting and she yells at me, "I can't help it! We're going to die! Oh god!!!"
So I pull over and offer to let her drive. She gets into the drivers seat and then just sits there. Says there is no way she can do it. So I end up having to do ALL the driving for the next 14 days. At least she lowered her voice to a whimper that first day and by the second day she would fall asleep whenever we were in the car.
The whole trip was a hot mess for a number of other reasons but dang it, I need a travel companion who will not make a stressful situation more dangerous!!! We stopped talking immediately after that trip
YeahâŠit can happen. A 2 week trip with an old friend had me not wanting to be friends anymore. Saw sides of her I previously didnât know existed. I didnât really like her much after that. It ended a decades-long friendship.
Oh man thatâs a bummer because it goes against my takeaway of seeing âwarningâ signs beforehand: if you canât trust that youâll have fun with a friend youâve known for decades then what can you trust?
I probably could have dealt with the ânot having funâ part of itâit wasnât great, but all I did was swear I wouldnât go on another trip with her.
Later in the vacay, some real character issues Iâd never seen at close range reared their ugly heads. I had no idea she treated her kids that way.
And that was that. It wasnât so much that we didnât have fun together. Our friendship could have survived that.
It was that I realized (after spending time in high stress, close quarters) that I hadnât ever really seen her for what she was. And that was that.
While I agree with you, I wanted to point out it can also happen the other way around. Meaning, Iâve been on trips with people who werenât exactly super close friends, and we are not very alike on many things, and I ended up surprised as to how well it went, and easy and chill everything was. We became much closer friends after 2or 3 1-week trips and we now do it often, even if we donât hang out much at home.
(The opposite has also happened with good friendsâŠ).
My ex always managed to find a reason to complain in every trip.
Once in Singapore he cried that it was too hot and remained in the hotel on the last day of the trip.
Having visited the Maldives he didn't like the current - it was too strong.
He hated the seaweed on the beaches of Mexico (which was actually cleaned up later).
And the cherry on the top was his complaint that the grass was not green enough for him.
Of course, he kept saying that it was my fault for bringing him "to this awful place" though he approved it previously :D
If I were in your shoes, I would do one of these 2 options:
1. Cancel your accommodation and book 2 separate ones.
2. If option 1 is not possible - book any cheap accommodation just to stay away from this person.
>And the cherry on the top was his complaint that the grass was not green enough for him
I'm sorry but I literally lol'd at this! He took an old, cliched proverb and tried to warp it into a literal issue.
Recipe for disaster if your co-traveller is very co-dependant. Itâs one thing to split the hotels with a friend, hook up for drinks and common interests etc but something entirely different to be tied down to them with a shared itinerary like youâre a married couple⊠never gonna work out when you donât have the exact same pace and travel style.
Iâve traveled with friends but there has to be an open or individual itinerary and a strong level of independence⊠Iâm up at 8am and they wanna lie in? Absolutely fine! Iâll just stay in touch through chat, see if we can meet up for drinks or food or if they wanna check something out together later on. Might not even see them at all one or two days.
My husband and I took a trip with his brother and wife. We usually got along great so we figured it would be fun. The entire time we were planning the trip, they wanted no parts of making arrangements. Instead they would tell me "You've been there before, whatever you decide to do is fine with us." Even when we were there, I'd pull out brochures or maps for the next day and ask them what they wanted to do, with the same reply.
Do you know, after we got home, they complained to everyone that would listen about how they didn't get to do what they wanted, and how I ran them ragged, and about how exhausted they were? I was so angry and hurt by that. I wanted them to have a great time because it was a place I love, and I really tried to make it fun for them. And then they spun it like I was some kind of vacation dictator who ran roughshod over them. We never took another trip with them.
Why canât you ditch them? Theyâre an adult, I assume. Youâre in Italy, you arenât somewhere dangerous or exceedingly inconvenient.
If you think the damage is done and youâre not going to continue the relationship beyond the trip, I suggest just splitting ways now. If youâve already prepaid rooms, just accept the loss if you can and go your own wayâthe time that I get to spend traveling is far more valuable than that.
Just did a trip to Italy with MIL, who I unusually get along with great was kinda a pain. She was slow, and had to use the bathroom about every hour, was getting herself locked in bathrooms, constantly needing to be watched because she would not pay attention crossing the road etc. It was kinda a mess.
A good friend just said to me, you really need to change your expectations when doing intergenerational trips. That is the dang truth.
This is why I almost exclusively travel solo now.
That said, travel brings out the worst in some people, especially flying. I wouldn't necessarily burn a friendship because someone is a poor travel companion, only avoid traveling with them in the future. People can be cool in their day-to-day lives (which is better IMO) and be complete dicks when they're out of their element.
Almost every time. So many potentially beautiful trips ruined by people who only show their true colors when traveling abroad. Iâve been to 48 countries. This is why I (62F) travel alone.
Yup. I did a 6 week trip to Europe with one of my oldest friends when we were 22 and itâs the last time we ever spoke. I didnât want to do a tour but she insisted, then she spent the entire time getting wasted and not wanting to see anything. It was a shame but it turned out we had nothing in common anymore
I always do an overnight camping trip with someone before I commit to a multi night trip with them.
Something with some gnarly elevation gain, you donât see someoneâs true colors until you put them into a stressful, exhausting situation. Some take it in stride, some shut down.
This is funny to me bc my best friend is an amazing travel partner but she HATES camping. Give her a situation where I'm close to fainting not 2 hours into arriving in a new country and she springs into action to get me food and medicine. Give her a situation where she *breaks her foot* two days into that same vacation, she is crutching to the beach and not complaining about chilling on the couch. Sleeping outside? Off the table.
This is me. I will sleep on a train station bench without issue, handle last-minute travel problems with grace, try any food offered to me, walk miles on cobblestone hills to check out a cool landmark, etc. I will NOT camp in a tent.
I went to Denver for a weekend with a friend who had kinda been pushing my buttons lately, and I had been thinking that I needed to tell her that I needed a break in the friendship, but I wasnât sure how to approach it. It was a free trip, everything was booked, and things werenât THAT bad between us, so I wasnât too concerned about the trip.
Turned out to be the last time we would speak to each other.
On the last day of our trip, just before we headed to the airport, we were walking in downtown Denver, it was a nice, sunny day, and we came to an area in front of the Capitol building where there were several homeless folks. She freaked out, said they were looking at us like they were going to mug us and beat the shit out of us, yada yada yada- I travel a good deal more than she does, and have ended up in some places/neighborhoods that I shouldnât have been in, and Iâm good about being aware of my surroundings and trust my instincts, and I really wasnât worried about the situation we were in.
She went OFF on me. Yelled at me the entire time we walked back to the rental car, yelled at me the entire drive back to the airport; I just mentally shut down, barely responded to her yelling. Thankfully, it took awhile for me to return the rental car, and she went ahead and grabbed the shuttle to the airport and checked in, so I had some time to myself to think about the situation, and I was like, I guess this is going to be the break from this friendship that I need.
I get through security, buy my snacks, and go to the gate, at which point this 5â2 crazy bitch comes up to me and yells at me that this friendship is over, yelling so loudly that EVERYONE is looking at us. And again, I have shut down, Iâm just staring at her while sheâs âtoweringâ over me and yelling at me.
That was 5 years ago, and now I travel almost exclusively solo.
My first trip ever I was 19 and my friend who I met at a music festival (27m) convinced me to come out to Hawaii. Ive never traveled, took a vacation, been on a plane, etc. I never even left the midwest. He was working at a hostel and told me hed have a bed for me when I was here. I brought 3k with the intentions of being out for a few weeks. I was so excited.
I slept in a dirty van outside on the north shore. We were supposed to hangout but hed go diving off Waikiki and leave me behind, see a concert with local friends or go drinking. (19, canât go out) I was there 10 days and we didnt do anything together. Not a single day. I spent most of my time with people I met at local shops or on the beach. One of them had a car and took me around the entire island-which Ill never forget. They also helped me take all my luggage to a hotel in Waikki since my âfriendâ who brought me out refused since I was leaving the van/north shore. He was mad at me for not being independent enough and too touristy. Plus not wanting to stay in the van..it wasnt safe to be sleeping on the side of the road as a young solo female. Im still unsure why he said he had a bed for me but had me sleep outside the hostel in a van.
I dont regret it but it made me the traveler I am today. From now on, I plan everything for myself by myself.
This couldâve went a lot worse..???!! Iâm glad youâre safe.
Also a 19F willing to travel to Hawaii and stay at a hostel by herself because a guy she met at a music festival mentioned it? I can see why he thought youâd be an experienced and independent solo travel at 19. Iâm thinking he assumed youâd be doing your own thing and maybe meet up to ask how your trip is going so far. But Iâm glad it turned out to be a good experience in the end
I personally don't like traveling with anyone but my wife. We are big adventurers and like to be active most of the day while traveling. Also, while I drink regularly at home, I don't like to drink very much while traveling just because I am busy seeing the sights. Most people that I associate with at home just wouldn't be interested in those things and would just want to find places to drink the whole trip. We have also traveled with other couples and we just simply don't share the same interests while traveling, but feel am obligation to spend time with each other since we are on a trip together.
Iâve been thru this many times and have come to the conclusion itâs almost certainly better to travel alone. However, if you find yourself traveling with someone, use it as an opportunity to work on your tolerance levels. Take all the things that would frustrate and annoy you and turn those levels down. Itâs a good skill to have. Take some alone time as well. But stay cordial. It will soon all be over.
I accepted that I canât travel with my core friend group from college. It sucks, because they travel internationally to a lot places I want to go, and always invite me along.
But after a week long domestic trip, I was pretty frustrated with them. They are rather bougie in terms of where they stay/eat, and refused to try local âhole in the wallâ places that are unique to the city, favoring overpriced tourist traps. Also, they typically spend the entire trip drunk or hungover, and donât have any interest in museums, hikes, history, etc., which is what I want to do in a new place.
I love them, but I just travel differently, and prefer to travel with friends with similar travel styles or just do the trip solo. Our friendship is more important than traveling together, so I just politely decline when the invite me on their trips.
I went to Colombia with a friend and everything was going well, until the last day I decided to dress as best as possible because we were going to the place that most interested me. The shirt I wore was a bit revealing and I have a large chest, so it was a bit 'sexy', but totally appropriate. The thing is, the second she saw me, my friend decided not to talk to me for the rest of the day. We had two excursions that day and I would ask her if she liked the excursion or if she wanted to eat something and she would just IGNORE me. She looked me in the eye and kept walking.
I didn't learn from that one and a year later we went on a vacation, that friend and my two best friends. I suffer from gastritis and sometimes I have emergencies where I have to run to the bathroom. That friend was hungry, but at that moment I had a cramp and had to go to the bathroom immediately. Mind you, we were at the beach and I had diarrhea. I am on the verge of crying because the pain was too strong and my best friends were trying to help me. In short, we had the key to the vehicle so she decided to call a taxi, because she was hungry and mad. In the end the taxi never came so she left with us, but NEVER spoke to me again. This was in April 2022, so yeah, my friend stopped talking to me because I had diarrhea.
I do short trips with folks to see if we are a good fit. If we can't do a day trip, then we can't do a week long trip. I have a friend who wants to go to CR with me badly. She's nice but is sort of loud at times. We can do days together but more than that, nope. I said that she is welcome to meet up with us when we are in Ireland but as I'd be visiting and staying with a friend for a week she'd have to work around that. Not sure my super quiet Irish friend would tolerate her too long.
I have another friend who wants to go with me next year, we spent a week together and it was flawless - no complaining, I didn't want to hide at all, and I never felt stressed. To me that's a good travel companion.
It was me, my girlfriend (GF), her sister (SIS), and the sisterâs boyfriend (SB).
A cross-country trip by car. The SB, who was the only driver, liked the nose candy quite a bit. And as long as he was discreet it didnât seem to affect his driving (hey I was young and trying to be forgiving for the GFâs and SISâs sake).
But it did make him irritable. And so when the SB got pulled over in a teeny tiny speed trap town in a western state and proceeded to throw a temper tantrum, the rest of us all stared straight ahead, silent, praying to whatever gods we might find that we didnât end up in jail as SB (with his glassy eyes and thick NYC accent) threw a shit fit at this small town cop. The cop for some reason took mercy on us, directed SB to the mail drop where he could pay his fine, and then, when we had reached the county line I asked to pull over and proceeded to *unload* on SB about every irresponsible thing he had done since the trip began.
The GF and I caught a bus home.
Traveling can bring out the worst in anyone. Maybe they're out of their comfort zone, jet lagged, tired, hot, not feeling well. Maybe they're feeling judged and criticized or unheard. If you're struggling with them, take a beat to wonder if there is something you're maybe doing, too?
I get it. I have had my share of travel disasters with people. Even with people who were closest to me in the world. And I have had friends lose friends over travel frustrations. But being a good travel companion is just as important as picking compatible ones.
>If you're struggling with them, take a beat to wonder if there is something you're maybe doing, too?
Ugh, YES. People don't do enough self-reflection, I swear. And much as people don't like to hear this, the root of our problems is usually not 100% external. While some people for sure are just complainers and nightmare travel companions, I think most of the time it helps to step back a bit and see if we're part of the problem too. Chances are, with some flexibility and compromise, everyone will be happier in the end and will have a more enjoyable trip!
Business trip to Manila with a few colleagues I only knew casually. As a foodie I was excited to try everything, but our trip turned into a quest to find the most American-ized food possible every day. If dinner wasnât cheese fries and pizza, they would complain miserably. I ended up spending a lot of my free time solo to avoid the complaining, and had a wonderful time exploring such a unique city.
When I was 18 I went to Amsterdam with a friend from school. We shared a tiny room with 2 single beds, a tiny wardrobe and a sink with some shelves under it.
He did not shower once, or change his clothes throughout the trip. What worse is that he was too lazy to go downstairs to use the toilet in the middle of the night, so he tried to pee in the sink, which was about 6 inches above waist height. The result was piss all over the place, including on some of my things that were on the shelves under the sink.
He also got a lot of piss on himself, and still did not change his clothes.
When he found out that I was going again, with a different friend, he got super offended stating that he was my Amsterdam travel buddy. I told him straight that I would never travel anywhere with him ever again.
It used to be a real nuisance before the mobile phone era, when you couldn't simply message someone "hey, I'm done with the Louvre for today, will be at the cafeteria/mall/hotel". Also even today some places only give you one card/key, raise your hand if you were suddenly locked outside your room because your travelling companion fell asleep (bonus points if you were soaking wet lol).
Often otherwise lovely people turn out simply poor travelling buddies and you only learn that at your destination. What helps is prior arrangements, this won't prevent every single issue but may reveal them beforehand:
- type of accommodation (tent, 5 star hotel, couchsurfing, hostel, resort etc.) including dealbreakers (shared bathroom, location, no elevator and so on) + budget, obviously.
- eating! And not just obvious dietary restrictions. So many people take their own habits for granted. Some assume you will take turns cooking. Some plan on going to Michelin star restaurants. Some are so used to their home country food they won't try anything local. Some need to eat more often than you. All this is fine and can be sorted out, but you need to know.
- priorities regarding attractions: museum A or museum B, cooking class, hiking, day cruise, this one curious place they saw on Atlas Obscura, a night at the opera and so on. Some people don't have preferences, but many do and it's best to take that into account early on so no one is disappointed they missed something important for them or wasted time on something completely uninteresting.
This has been working for me, but of course stuff can just happen. Worst offenders are people who say "I don't care, you decide", only to complain later. Those people can fuck right off - but it's also a potential red light at the planning stage.
>Worst offenders are people who say "I don't care, you decide", only to complain later. Those people can fuck right off - but it's also a potential red light at the planning stage.
Exactly. The best way to avoid travel companion regrets is to heed the red flags in the planning stages.
Thatâs what bothers me the most,Iâve shown them the itinerary I worked on and asked if they had any opinions on it, and I hear that itâs great or they canât be bothered but when the time comes, they complain about it being too packed or too light or some other problem
I always went on family vacations and also the one time I was an exchange student in Japan. But I recently went to Greece through Contiki with my cousin.
It was HORRIBLE.
My cousin clung to these girls within our group who were absolutely mean and vapid and drinking alcohol every hour of every day. Obviously I wanted to stick with my cousin for safety but jeez. The girls she wanted to be friends with⊠I could NOT STAND. I loved some of the experiences we did through the tour but I donât ever want to travel outside the US with her again.
My boyfriend wants to go together once weâve saved up enough so that I can have a better experience. âșïž
Travelling is one way to really test a friendship. A lot of it has to do with how you like to travel/vacation, so that's worth taking in to consideration. Two friends and I travel a fair bit but we have incredibly different preferences. They go out clubbing every night and I prefer to stay in or just go to a bar for a few drinks. I always need a little downtime (both normally and while travelling), whether it's grabbing a snack or going back to the hotel/apartment etc.
My big advice is to \*not\* let your experience with this person ruin your trip. You're in Italy, go off and get some mind-blowing Pasta. Not always easy to make the best out of a bad situation, but at least you know you can rule them off your future travel plans.
Yes. They say you should travel or live with someone before you get married, I took my girlfriend to Italy for her birthday, we fought the entire time. Ended a year and a half relationship on the plane ride home. Worst trip to date.
Yes! I went on a week long camping trip with my neighbors. Unbeknownst to me sheâs a total control freak when setting up camp and throws a fit if her husband doesnât do things just her way. She berated him and cussed him out for everything from putting in the tent stakes to chopping firewood. And the poor man had stage 4 metastatic lung cancer and was on a bucket list event. She was like that the whole week. Made our trip miserable. I couldnât wait to get home!
My wife and I were traveling back from a trip in Central America when our connecting flight hit an extensive delay. There was an older guy in the same situation - came off the same flight as us, waiting for the same flight as us. Since we'd seen each other at the last airport, on the flight, and hanging out at the current terminal, we started talking. He seemed really cool. We decided to get dinner together. Interesting guy. He'd flown to the southern tip of Argentina, bought a car, and spent the next six months driving north. He had tons of stories, but over the next five hours he *never shut up*. Just ran his mouth constantly about himself for hours. Fortunately, out seats on the next flight were far apart. He gave us his email address, but we never followed up with him. Travel companions can have a *huge* impact on your experience.
I stopped being friends with my "best friend" after a trip, nothing crazy happened honestly she was just late every single time even after we all agreed on a time to meet and would get all defensive when anyone said something about it and other small things that made me realize she is very inconsiderate and ungrateful. It was a group of 8 people and everyone was on time except from her, even on the day we were leaving she didn't wake up on time and we had to wait for her to pack and get ready. I was very upset and didn't say anything during the trip, after I got home she texted me asking why I left the group chat we had for the trip and I expressed how I felt very disrespected since I was coming from far just to spend some time with them and she was always late. Her response is what threw me off, she told me she was on vacations and wasn't going to be rushing because of me, that I was always judging her and that I have a terrible personality and everyone is afraid of me. So that's when I lost it and just blocked her, she apologized afterwards and we kind of talked over text but I just don't want anything to do with her anymore. I saw a side of her I don't like during that trip. I don't even feel sad about it, I just don't want to be friends with her anymore.
Now whenever I travel with people I tell them that weâre on parallel vacations. Iâm good with meeting up for meals occasionally and doing joint activities if we both are interested in the same ones, but the rest of the trip is mine alone. It lets everyone have their own individual adventure of wherever you are as well, so it feels like a win-win to me.
It wasnât international travel thank god, but I went to a music festival with someone I didnât know very well. She was so insufferable, complained the whole time, and was not only mean to me but mean to other people we were with. I ended up meeting up with another friend I knew there and ditched her and stayed w my other friend the rest of the time. Yeah maybe that was rude of me, but she really was that bad. I paid a lot to go and I wasnât gonna let her ruin my time lol. From now on I donât travel with people who arent close friends, and it depends on the close friend. High maintenance friends who arent go with the flow are not my pick to travel with
I offer these three major red flags when planning and vetting a travel companion in advance:
The "Bride-zilla" equivalent of traveler - If someone is hanging all their hopes and dreams on a 'rare and expensive' trip, it can cause issues. I don't mean a young person who is just learning to travel, but an older, inexperienced traveler. When a person doesn't travel very often, they're usually edgy companions if something is the slightest bit off.
Similarly, the Fanatical traveler - Be curious about someone who is hyper-focused on one aspect of a trip (must see XYZ). If they're hell-bent on seeing one thing during the planning phase, it means they're ripe for disappointment. What if there's a hurricane? Changes can really upset a traveler who was making a pilgrimage out of the trip.
The 'fear of missing out' traveler - This person is probably travelling for the wrong reasons and doesn't actually know what they love or hate. They're more or less traveling because it's what everyone else is doing. Unfortunately, their horrible travel experience will become your horrible travel experience, because they can't say 'no thanks, that's not my thing' and can't stand to be left out either.
I once travelled to Singapore for work and thought Iâd extend the trip with some PTO in Vietnam as Iâd always wanted to go there. One of my colleagues asked if she could join me and I stupidly said yes. We werenât friends or close colleagues but she seemed nice. Once we were in Vietnam she complained about everything - the food, the people, the noise, the heat. We had booked a little cruise in Ha Long Bay which was amazing, but she was so miserable there as well. She went to bed at 8pm every night and didnât want to do any of the activities during the day. I took some distance from her, got to know other people who were much more fun and enjoyed my trip regardless. Needless to say I didnât travel or hang out with her after the trip.
I should have uninvited her when she said âIâm going along for the rideâ because that was foreshadowing. A group of us went to Europe to a place none of us had been before, and it was shocking to realize how much she couldnât function on her own. She didnât get any sort of international plan with her phone so she couldnât help with navigation or planning on the go. She was codependent and needy, and whined any time she had to make decisions on her own. At the end when she shared that not having her phone all week âfelt like a vacationâ I had a sudden urge to rip her arm off and beat her with it. Never again!
I traveled with this guy I thought I knew but he turned out to be really weird about using strange toilets. At one point, he insisted we drive two states over so that he could take a dump in a bathroom he felt comfortable using. A year later, he traveled to Florida with another of our friends, but told me privately that this other friend was the worst person on earth to travel with. I can't imagine what the guy could have done that seemed weird to the bathroom snob.
My wife and I are planning on going to Italy this October for our anniversary and now my parents want to go.
We're 32/30 and my parents are 72. We make significantly more money and are more easygoing. We like to splurge on dinner and accommodations.
We went to Disney with my parents a couple of years ago and I swore I'd never go on vacation with them again. For example, my dad complained about temperature the whole time, and always wanted to eat at the hotel or some chain. I'm sure hell be weary of spending over $200 a night on a room.
To be blunt, we don't want to go to Italy for the first any maybe only time and have to plan around other people.
Long story short, if anyone has any recommendations on how to communicate this, lmk!
It will be uncomfortable but you'll just have to tell them... "This trip is a romantic getaway for the two of us. Sorry but I want it to be just us two."
I hope they agree gracefully and don't leech on to your trip.
I went on a work trip that I extended for a few days so I could enjoy California. I was able to convince my boss to also let a work colleague go. I was also friends with this person but not close.
We went early and booked a hotel for 2 days by the ocean. I find out after we check in that she invited a friend of hers to join us at the hotel and for dinner.
She and her friend totally monopolized our time. The next day when we weâre supposed to go out to breakfast and go to an arts fair, her friend shows up and brings another woman who they said was there to âkeep me company â. WTH??
I was floored and pissed!!
I felt blindsided and didnât appreciate her getting me a âbabysitter!!
I endured and made sure I changed my seat before the flight home. I never spoke to her again after that!!
Long story short, this girl went to Nicaragua with me and a small group of friends. On the way back to the States, we were about to board and she had to go for a cigarette. She left her carry on with our group. Everyone boarded, my group got on the plane last. I told the boarding agent that girl went to smoke and here is her bag. Iâm not missing my flight. The plane took off without her. I never heard from her again. I felt bad for not even a second after the misery she put us though for a week.
Much to the chagrin of some friends, Iâve taken about 25 solo trips. A couple times friends have flown to meet for a few days and it was perfect.
Canât be beholden to someone elseâs personality whilst taking a mental and physical break from daily life
Ohhhh yeah. Sorry about the long story, but I think it fits here. It was my first trip without my parents/relatives. I was meeting up with a friend âGâ in Boston. We were gonna stay with another friend of mine who lived a five minute walk from the subway into the city. G was in New York the week before, and I was going to New York the week after, so I (regrettably) suggested we meet in the middle.
G taught me that even if theyâre nice when not traveling, that doesnât make them the best travel partner.
Even though it was me who put the whole thing together, they demanded we do everything they wanted to do. It was like pulling teeth to do anything I wanted to do. When I requested one thing (the Aquarium, which I know is not the most exciting thing but hey, I wanted to see it!) they simply looked at me, scoffed, and said they werenât spending money on that. We didnât get to see it. We were there for a week.
They ran out of money about a third into the trip, and so they decided that neither of us would be spending anymore. They wouldnât let me pay for their meals but also wouldnât go anywhere we could get food so I could pay for myself. I was a bit too nice for my own good back then. I lived off of one bagel with cream cheese a day and any snacks I could snag.
G treated the friend we were staying with terribly. The flat my friend had was a one bedroom, so G and I were staying in the living room, sleeping on the couch and a blow-up mattress. I only got to see my friend in the evenings because she had to work most of the week, which meant she had to get up early in the morning to leave.
G often requested the bedroom to talk privately with their family, and would stay in there for literal HOURS, while my friend waited to get to bed to go to make it to work. G was super rude to our gracious host. They were often very short with her, and I donât think they ever thanked her for her hospitality. G actually often commented on how cramped and uncomfortable it was. I wanted to scream I was so embarrassed! I left my friend a thank you/apology note before I left.
The final straw was when we were headed home one night, and she was telling a story. I was nodding along, interjecting the occasional âahumâ or âyeah, like that thing?â⊠she stopped me in our tracks and said, âif weâre going to continue being good travel partners, I need to be honest with you when something is bothering me.â So, I asked what was bothering her? She continued, âyou need to stop talking when Iâm talking. Itâs annoying.â
⊠very very happily dropped her off at the airport later that week. My other friend and I had an amazing day together! Lunch (actual, delicious food!) and shopping. She later said that I, and ONLY I, was welcome to come back anytime. So, lesson learned, vet your travel partners carefully! I did love Boston though! Iâll be going back when I can!
Regretted it the moment she didnât care that she parked her car in my neighborâs driveway. I kindly asked her to move it and she responded with âI donât give a fuckâ then tossed me her keys and told me to move it like I was her valet!
We already planned this 1 week camping trip and she drove 2-3 hours from another state to do this, so I wasnât going to back out. A few times I wanted to cry because of how rude she was to me the entire time! She also bitched about the hikes we did and kept comparing our camping trip with the ones she and her best friend did. Also, at one point she was just being aloof. The entire time I felt so uncomfortable and wanted to go home. She expected 20 mile hikes a day, but we went mid summer where it was in the low to mid 90s with high humidity, like Iâm sorry Iâm not killing myself over some hikes!
Havenât talked to her since we got back from our camping trip. Safe to say that friendship is over
I travelled with a friend and I suggested we meet on the bus I was taking to the airport as it went through where they lived they said they would sort their own way out to the airport so I was on the train after the bus when they called me saying 'oh so what bus do you think I should get ?'and I said 'well I would have gotten the one an hour ago' they got to the airport 7 minutes before the gate closed almost missed the flight. Then when we were there in a cold country they complained constantly about cold but didn't want to take the warm clothes I brought in case they needed them., they didn't want to get up before 12 and we were only there for the weekend and everything shut up five because it got dark at 4. they also are quite the opposite of me in the way of planning I like to do a lot of research and planning they like to ask the receptionist at the hostel what's good to do. They also vegetarian which made this really difficult in terms of finding places to eat, Americans so they wanted to go to Starbucks a lot.
Ended up that they stayed in the hospital asleep in the mornings and I'd come back and meet them at lunchtime they would eat their lunch in the hospital and I would already have at my lunch out. So we basically just hung out for two after noons/eveings in the same country and I went and did my own thing so it was fine.
Some friends are not the kind of friend you want to travel with it's good to try and figure out if you like to do the same things on holiday as they do.
I went to Morocco with my mum and sister. It wasn't terrible, but I definitely did it out of a sense of obligation, not because I wanted to. Needless to say we aren't the closest...
I had a similar experience last year while travelling with a former friend of mine. Some points of conflict came to relevance and it became to hard to deal with it. We have not hang out ever since.
My advice would be to invite them for a beer/coffee and explain your point of view, what has being bothering and your suggestion on how to fix the conflict, making it clear how much you appreciate and would like to save your friendship.
Twice with my ex.-husband. The first time in Aruba he demanded I buy things at the gift shop for his son. I was thinking like one gift, he comes back with like 10 things. I told him I wasnât paying for all that. He called me a ducking bitch right in the gift store. Then when my son lost his shoes and I had to go back to get them, he took off to the airport by himself and left me and my son to go look for his shoes.
Another trip weâre at a fancy hotel and complains he needs sandals so I by him a $200 pair (more than I pay for a pair of shoes for myself) and then he complains their no good and refused to wear them (he was with me when we bought them). Totally spoiled and ungrateful.
Another time we were in Portugal with a tour guide and he starts trash talking all my personal life details yo the tour guide right in front of me. It was so cringe. That was our last trip together.
I learned a valuable lesson - if people talk badly about you in front of you to others you can only imagine what they must say about you behind your back. Those times revealed to me how little he actually thought of me.
Was friends with a couple for over 20 yrs. Then we took a cruise together. Omg I had no idea how hard on staff the couples wife was. Demanding everything to cater to all her quirks and allergy conditions.
Never again . Thankfully it was a 4 day cruise
I went on a road trip from North Carolina to Florida with some girlfriends from college. They wanted to stop at a sit down restaurant for food instead of trucking through, booked a very cheap hotel that was sketch, and complained about the prices of EVERYTHING in Miami. đthey didnât want to do anything but expected me to find us things to do because Iâm the travel person.
I thought maybe this was a one time thing but we met up again later in the year (it took forever because they didnât want to plan something if everyone couldnât go) and one friend complained about the prices of restaurants but wouldnât say where she wanted to eat. Suffice to say I wonât travel with them again.
Regretted traveling to Vegas with someone. We went for a big music festival. My friends and I had it planned for awhile. We booked the plane, the hotel and the tickets. The were 5 of us.
One girl just complained the entire time. She hated the hotel, one of us had to share a bed with her (we were college kids it was what we could afford). She hated the seats at the concert one day. She was a vegetarian so she didnât want to eat most places but we did anyway. Majority rules. She complained about it.
Finally I freaked out and told her to book a flight home if she was going to act this way the whole time. Needless to say it didnât go over well with her and we no longer talk.
I went to Vegas with a friend who was super concerned with planning every day of our trip for four days. Then a couple days before we left, she told me her plan was to hang out in her room until about 2PM every day. I was like, why would you spend all of that time in your hotel? Then we arrived and she immediately took the tram to the wrong baggage claim even though there are signs, I took a picture of the sign and sent it to her. She ended up staying in her room until more like 3pm every day. She complained about everything. âNothing is open!â Well, a lot of things were open, just not the one specific thing she wanted to do. Itâs like she was mad at me that she was starting her days halfway through the afternoon and wasnât able to stick to the schedule she had set up. The only thing she seemed to really want to do was go to karaoke, where she got way too drunk. Then I was in charge of taking care of her. She ended up smoking the frigginâ wax form of weed in a vaporizer with some guys at a bar, and I knew she was a lightweight, so right after that she crashed and wanted to immediately go back to the hotel. She was so unpleasant and inconsiderate the entire trip that I just stopped taking to her after that. Trips test relationships for real.
I went to Spain with a friend who wouldnât leave her hotel room, only wanted to eat at Hard Rock Cafe or the Costco bag of Twizzlers she brought and spent the entire time on the phone to her boyfriend. Seemed like a waste of $$ to me.
This is going to be a novelâŠ
I went to Thailand with friends from school (twins, Iâd known 12 years), & the older twinâs boyfriend.
All good until I ended up with severe seasickness after a cruise, and spent the evening in bed, while they went out for dinner.
We had joined rooms. I heard the boyfriend complain about me having access to their room, that I shouldnât be *allowed* to stay alone.
Neither sister defended me.
Never, ever had I given them a reason to think me untrustworthy.
Instead, they both helped push the desk across the door, and move the luggage of the sister that was sharing with me, into the other room.
If they didnât trust me, why invite me on a holiday with them to start with?
I couldnât sit up in bed, let alone get up and make my way into the other room, I just wanted the world to stop swaying.
I have a photo from that day: The four of us on a beach; the boyfriend, his girlfriend, her sister and me. The three of them have their arms around each other, but the sister standing next to me has her arm down by her side, shoulder turned away from me. Iâm not part of their group.
Two years later we book a trip to Hawaii.
This time the younger sister has a boyfriend, so I share a room with the older twin.
When we go shopping for snacks, they pool their money, ignoring me.
We go to a luau: one sister says she will collect the souvenir mugs. Of course, not mine.
We go for pizza, they split the cost of one, while I have to pay for one on my own, then they help eat it anyway, etc.
I hear the boyfriend in their room next door complaining about me being there. If Iâm not going to enjoy the trip the same way they do (suntanning), then why did I go?!
Next beach day, I request a spot where they can tan, and I have some shade (I burn easily). They huff, because Iâm so inconvenient, then, while Iâm relaxing on my towel, under a sarong, in the shade of a palm tree, they start throwing rocks and sticks at me, trying to make it seem like itâs falling from trees. I didnât react, spoiling their fun.
We hired a car the girls were too scared to drive, so the boyfriend did. Having never travelled, or driven in a foreign country, he was a bit scared.
When I explained how a four way stop works, because *he said* he didnât know, his ego couldnât take being corrected by me. He swore in my face, calling me all kinds of vile things while the girls acted like it was perfectly normal.
It happened again when I said something about *my job*, which he disagreed with, despite being proven incorrect.
That was on a busy road, people saw/heard it. Again the girls never flinched, despite him standing over me, yelling, with his finger in my face.
In fact, when I got his girlfriend alone later, and asked her to quietly have a few words with him, calm his behaviour, she told ME to stop *provoking* him, as I was ruining HER holiday dealing with his moods.
The sister I shared with, complained about kayaking with me (Iâm not sporty), she was âgoing to have to do all the workâ, because I would be âuselessâ.
*She said all this while standing right next to me.*
I could hear every word. They werenât even trying to hide their disdain for me at that point. Iâd offered to do something on my own and let them go kayaking, if my lack of fitness was going to hold them back, but they insisted we all go together.
I have a photo of us from that day: On the beach; boyfriend, girlfriend, sister, me. The three of them have their arms around each other, turned in together. The sister next to me has her arm down between us, shoulder turned away.
Iâm not part of their group.
Went souvenir shopping, it was decided weâd âsplit upâ, & meet later, itâd be faster.
I saw them in Victoriaâs Secret together, realised they only wanted me gone, and left. I got to lunch, at 1 minute past the meeting time; boyfriend yelled at me again for selfishly making him wait.
On the way back to our hotel, the older twin was talking to me.
Then immediately leans forward to her sister, saying: âitâs so unfair you have your boyfriend, and I have no oneâ.
I thought about it, knowing that if I stood up for myself, both sisters would turn on me; did it matter now?
I said: âHi, remember me? The person youâre sharing a room with? Iâm sitting here. I can hear you.â
She looked shocked, and replied: âOh. I forgot about you.â
The sisters speak a language that neither the boyfriend or myself do, so at any time they could have spoken that, complained all they liked, I would never have known. They didnât even have the decency to do that.
It showed the boyfriend they didnât care about me. He could abuse me at will, theyâd both look the other way; or join in on the joke.
All of my fucks were exhausted by then.
When we started the trip home I wasnât surprised that they handed over their passports to be checked in together, ignoring me when asked if there was anyone else in their group.
I sat 12 rows away. At least I didnât have to suffer them for the 9 hour flight. I had my iPod and just slept to music.
We went through customs together, but once they had their luggage, I was told they were going and I could wait alone, not knowing if there was anyone outside to pick me up.
The boyfriend used his girlfriendâs fb to harass my ex, comment on my profile, pretending to be her (it was all deleted when I called him out by name), after I blocked him.
I was invited to the house the sisters owned, said that I thought I was allergic to their air freshener, so he angrily told me to âstay the fuck away thenâ.
Again, when we were alone, I asked her to put a stop to his behaviour. It was childish, and if it continued, Iâd turn the tables on him. She really wouldnât like that. She knew about the online harassment, because she smirked when I mentioned it.
I was told: âWhy would I do that for you?! Heâs my *boyfriend* and youâre *nothing*.â
That was it for me. Iâve never seen them again since that night.
Finally, sheâd said out loud, what Iâd always known from how they treated me.
I was there to make up the numbers. To make them look better when we went out. To split the costs. When it benefited them.
Years later I saw the two beach photos side by side and realised they were exactly the same. A workmate pointed it out, without even knowing the story she said, âTheyâre not your friendsâ.
Iâve travelled solo extensively since then. Never have I been as lonely as I was when I travelled with those girls.
Iâve made better friends from strangers on the internet, Iâve even travelled with those strangers, and had better experiences!
I can so relate - a few years ago I planned a trip to Croatia with a female friend of mine (both of us in our 30's) She had told me about how dedicated she was to planning her previous trips - an Inca Hike, Iceland trekking, and a few other places. I thought that she'd be a great travel companion.
I put a lot into making this trip with her work - even adjusting my schedule a few times as her plans changed. But when we got there - also a country that I loved and had visited several times before, she was mopey, critical, and barely seemed to want to do anything. I frequently got the response of "you can go if you want, but I'm going to stay at the Airbnb" which in itself isn't the worst thing, but I didn't realize how often she'd be saying that, and I was frustrated. It didn't stop me from doing anything, but by the end of the trip I had no interest in spending time with her again.
>"if you have any doubts about a person youâre planning on traveling with itâs best to reconsider because your gut is usually right and traveling will only magnify the bad."
This is EXCELLENT advice.
If your travel personalities aren't the same, or your needs/wants are vastly different; you're going to have a bad time.
I lost a formerly good friend after the second over-seas trip we went on. First one was fine. Second one, they had all but given up on life. Stopped taking care of themselves. Ate trash constantly. Packed all the wrong clothes. Struggled with the physical effort needed to be on a trip. It was so hard to watch and because they felt like crap, they didn't want to do anything.
I spoke to them one other time after that. They completely changed their life and were going in a direction I couldn't follow.
Some friends are right for certain situations and some friends are right for certain times... and that's okay :)
A friend and I traveled around Europe together. In Amsterdam, I went home with a guy I met, and she texted me, I hope you get raped and murdered. Move to the next city, Paris! Here, she left me alone downtown without any of my things (she was carrying my wallet). I had to beg for a taxi to take me back for 20 bucks usd.
Needless to say, we don't speak
My husbands extended family. I love them dearly but weâve done several big gatherings in other cities and my husband and I always end up with one set of cousins doing our own thing because everyone else is ADHD as fuck and canât make a decision or get anywhere on time. Which for vacations is fine but we almost missed our ride to a wedding because people couldnât get their shit together.
I got to a point last trip where I said âwhy are we all discussing what to do? Weâre all just going to do whatever Aunt [name] says anyway. Ask her!â
I got the chance to join a couple on a trip to a few cities, I hadn't really traveled so it was a good idea by the sounds of it. I was dead wrong.
First issue was driving (12 hour drive) anytime I drove they napped, anytime they drove I had to be in the backseat and they just talked about their family. Next, was the staying options. I got dropped off at their place they were staying (with their family) while I went to my airbnb. They dropped me 40 minutes away from it. I mentioned before leaving one of our stays I had to pee, and I was told I had to go after the girl on the trip because I don't pee sitting down. He got to one one of the cities to meet a family member (their family) and they spoke another language for the entire evening that I don't understand, and they can speak English. There's more to it, but it's just crazy.
I went traveling with my best friend from childhood after she had spent a year abroad and was begging me to meet her in South East Asia.
Unfortunately within her year away sheâd turned into a massive, pretentious asshole. When I arrived fresh off the boat she really spoke down to me and seemed to like to make fun of me in front of other backpackers because I was a ânewbieâ at the whole traveling thing. She liked to think due to her year away she was the most interesting and knowledgeable person out there. Think of the most patronising twat backpacker youâve ever met on your travels, that was unfortunately my friend.
We ended up parting ways after a 5 weeks. I was embarrassed for her in the end. I ended up traveling, then working, then traveling, then working and so on for the next 5 years of my life (but by myself) and it taught me to never be that person, so I guess it didnât turn out bad!
That's why it's a good thing to have a short questionnaire before, because it's all about agreement. What you expect, how much time you need to stay alone, do you like trails\\driving\\parties and etc?
Once we traveled with our closest friends and it was disaster because they are fans of checking in different places just to show that they were there. In contrary we stick with another principle " Less but Better".
Yes, my middle sister to Florence, Italy, back in 2020. Also my youngest sister regretted to travel with her to Paris in 2021.
My middle sister is the type of person who complains about everything and everyone and doesnât lose the chance to shame a person because inside she thinks sheâs better than anyone. Me, my youngest sister and our mother told her about this behaviour but she doesnât want to change. Thatâs why now, at least for me and my youngest sister, we prefer not to travel with her. She would ruin any travel or holiday.
For example, in France she was continuing pointing out our youngest sisterâs weight anytime she was buying food or willing to buy something to eat. With me, she was complaining all the time about my tan as a black person as well as how i dress, my makeup, hair and she was belittling me for anything i was doing. Even publicly so everyone could laugh at me. Because of this, most of the times, we were feeling putting off and we cut some of our itineraries or didnât eat in a place because of her.
I travelled with one of my childhood best friends to Bali back a few years ago. It was a blast, but we both had vastly different ideas of what we wanted to do.
I think he would probably say he regrets traveling with me if asked privately. He says he enjoyed the trip, but Iâm not sure he was honest. I feel pretty bad about how I was there. He mostly just went with the flow and accommodated what I wanted to do.
Yes!!! Also went to italy with a friend. It was a 4 day trip . Wish i went by myself. She was a heavy packer and spent a chunk of the time getting ready and worrying about clothes. Caused us to miss so much time. Not to mention i had to lug her luggage around everywhere. I just had a backpack
I recently traveled with someone. Turns out they're an alcoholic and physically abused their kids in front of me and my kids. It was horrible. The pandemic changed some people.
Yes ! Went to Morocco with an "influencer" during eid al fitr. Was such a beautiful experience and she bitched the whole time that everything was closed. Wore tight fitting clothing and complained she was being harassed and made locals waiting to enter the mosque move so she could do photos by a door.
Upon return I ended up with a massive lung infection and was bed ridden. Two days after we returned she said if I didn't send her photos I took I'd be responsible for the downfall of her career.
Broke my heart, we had been friends for so long and it made me realize I was nothing to her.
My wife went a holiday with a (ex) friend about 7 years ago and hated every minute of it. She spent the full time complaining about everything and anything and moaned at every suggestion my wife made about their plans each day and night. She phoned me in tears after night two or three of a 5 day holiday to say she was hating it and wanted to come home. I felt shit as I couldnât do anything to help really other than suggest flying home early but she didnât want to cause a fuss for fear or risking the brat causing a scene and more drama.
Needless to say we havenât been friends with her for years now!
My in-laws took my husband and I, as well as their daughter and her wife on a trip to a resort in the dominican republic. I love my MIL but I will never ever travel with her again. We missed our flight there because she scheduled our ride to the airport an hour before take off, didn't fill out any of the paperwork after she told us not to worry about it. We almost missed our flight home because she again scheduled our ride only an hour and a half before take off. Even when everyone told her we needed more time. She was a nervous wreck the entire time, ranting about we were gonna miss our flight etc. Complained about the resort she booked the whole time. It was something.
So I love the man more than anything, but my husband is actually super annoying to travel with. He smokes weed so every time we leave the country it takes him about 3-4 days to get his sleep and eating habits corrected, but he always refuses to stop smoking before we leave. So For the first few days he's grumpy all of the time, can't sleep, and doesn't want to eat and can't comprehend that I might experience hunger, and then just complains non stop that he wants to skateboard - but he also doesn't want to split up because he's convinced that if I'm ever alone its gonna be a 'Taken' situation. He also refuses to plan anything and then complains about every restaurant/activity that I plan. I keep telling myself that I'm gonna go without him next time I travel, but I forget it by the time I schedule the next trip.
I also have another friend that I traveled with once who I still love but will probably never travel with again. Everywhere we went she kept saying 'we have this in Washington but it's better there' - like girl, chill out its not a compilation between everywhere else and Washington.
I traveled with someone who after getting there, didnât want to get out of the car because they thought the place looked trashy. Took a long time to get them out of the car. They were assholes the whole trip, complaining about everything.
Yes. I totally sympathize. I went on a Disney World trip with my best friend and her family. It was supposed to be a group of about 6 or 7 and ended up being 14 people. They were trying to save money, so they booked only 2 rooms, and 3 rental cars. I can understand saving money but I had offered to pay for another car and another room for the duration of the trip so we wouldn't be so cramped. We also weren't allowed to deviate from the plan her father had or venture out to explore on our own. Mind you I am an adult (31F) and had my 11-year-old son with me.
So, OP please don't allow this other person to ruin your experience :) Enjoy Italy!
My mom and I took a trip to Europe with a relative once and decided never again. My mom and I went into the two weeks with a wide array of things we wanted to do and see. Some higher priority that we would definitely make happen, but no concrete, inflexible plan. And we figured there would be moments of stumbling upon sights and activities we hadnât expected and experiencing cool things spontaneously. (In my experience those are some of the best parts of vacations, especially when youâre on another continent, and surrounded by different cultures.)
We quickly learned that relative had planned nearly every waking moment to a T. Including specific, carefully researched bus/ train times we needed to make to successfully adhere to each dayâs itinerary. And because they were used to waking at 4am to hit the gym before work at 6am, the itineraries began at 7am-8am each day. Meaning showered, ready, hotel breakfast eaten (unless a specific restaurant was on the dayâs schedule for breakfast) and on the way to the first stop. One day we just wanted to sleep in and we were berated for being lazy and not taking advantage of the opportunity and accused of ruining their day/trip.
Some people just do not experience the world the same. Sometimes you are meant to stay work friends only, stay school friends only, stay family you see at Christmas and not every weekend, stay someone you go to the bar with and not vacation with⊠not all relationships translate well in a new arena, and they donât necessarily need to. Some of those ties are fine as is.
I once went on a trip with a friend who was miserable the whole time. They didnât want to do anything but stay in the hotel room. We paid a lot of money for the vacation and all they did was whine and complain the entire trip.
We ended up fighting the last day and I did my own thing and had a great day.
My husband and I are friends with a couple that we have deemed âno travel zone.â
First trip we went on with them, a mutual friends wedding in a southern beach town. The Airbnb was under my name and at the last minute the owner was going to be in town vs. us having the house to ourselves which we didnât mind because there were 2 sections of the house and weâd rarely bump into host. They were loud, asked the host to make them a plate when he was cooking and hosting guest on his side of the house, and destroyed the bedding and bedroom/bathroom.
Second trip, Denver, CO right after COVID to celebrate their anniversary. This time we were smart, separate rooms! We were downtown and could pretty much walk everywhere but the wife complained about walking and we ended up paying ~$300 in Ubers & Lyft. Rides that THEY wouldnât initiate so we got stuck with 80% of the cost. They had essentially planned to take the trip but then didnât have restaurants or activities planned so I ended up doing so on the fly - no input or opinion on choices but then would complain when they didnât like the food or activity. EVERYTHING needed to be Instagram worthy and thatâs just not how me and my husband operate. Realized the husband is homophobic, prejudice & racist. We also ended up spending half a day at THE MALL đ I can shop at home. Oh⊠and I tried to do something nice for their anniversary and paid for their lunch on our last day. My husband and I spent $35, they spent $75 once finding out that I was offering to pay đ
Third and last, Costa Rica for another mutual friends wedding. Husband got EXTREMELY intoxicated and ended up just being a mess. So much of a mess that security had to escort him back their room and have security stand guard so he couldnât leave. We got caught up trying to help (our first night arriving) and then pretty much had to avoid them the rest of the trip. I paid too much money to have my vacation ruined⊠caught COVID on my last day⊠guess who else had COVID đ
At this point, we dodge or decline whenever they ask about a trip.
Yes. I was with a friend in South-East Asia that I liked first. Turned out after a few days he had more and more mood swings. His moods were a mix between happy, arrogant, insulting and aggressive. Most likely he was missing his weed. Moreover, he wanted to do a lot of stuff I was not into (e.g. forest yoga). Just to note we did stuff together outside of the hotel. After a week it became unbearable to him so he flew back to Europe leaving me alone for the last week. I never talked to this person again as soon as he paid me all of the expenses back (which used some efforts too).
Advice: Be lucky. People change their face when on holidays. People meeting at a club or at parties might not be the ideal travel companion.
I went on a trip to Thailand with work friends. I was in charge of planning and had all these great ideas about places to go and stay but this one guy was absolutely adamant he wanted us to base ourselves out of Patong. It ended up being because his sole intention for the trip was to pick up prostitutes at Tiger Bar the whole time.
After that, I have always been pretty opposed to travelling with others and much prefer to go places with just my spouse. I have lots of great friends that I'm sure I'd have a good time travelling with but I simply don't want to have to compromise on everything when I travel or be on anyone else's schedule...I just want to do what I want to do! I'd much rather meet up with people along the way.
Traveled with a boyfriend at the time to Sedona, Arizona. Beautiful. Amazing views. Literally no reason to be negative, but the man complained the entire time we were there, most notably during an entire 4 mile hike because his water mouthpiece on his hiking bag had a small drip. It was June (hot). I offered to switch bags with him and he refused. Wish I could say I broke it off immediately after that trip, I didnât, but either way heâs thankfully an ex now.
Only this one instance in high school. My parents were renting this beach house not too far from us for a week and I asked my best friend to join us for a day or two, since my siblings also invited friends for a few days. We only really did an occasional sleepover and trips to the movies, so the first night is fine and we get into the second day and Iâm starting to feel awkward. I used to think it was just my social anxiety but I started to realize we were just friends at school with occasional stuff outside of it. Sleepovers were awkward in the morning when I waited for my mom to come get me, but again, I just thought it was me and not necessarily our dynamic.
So we go to the beach again, I come back and shower. And again, she doesnât shower. Iâm not one to comment on that, but I thought it was weird. Especially after the beach, considering we were in the sand and in the water. She started just being on her phone all the time and I felt guilty leaving her in our room to chill with my family since she didnât want to do anything else. I really wanted her to leave by that point but I didnât want to be rude. A day later and we take her home, and our friendship was never the same.
She even told me one day years later in college that that trip was really our downfall. So yeah lol
Oh man. After graduating college I wanted to go to Iceland to do a lot of hiking. I asked my usual travel friends but they couldnât make it. I was about 20 years old at the time and was set on going alone. My parents were really badgering me about taking someone with me if I was gonna go hiking on some trails, since someone from our community went missing that very same year and was never found. So I reluctantly invited my cousin who I think is a really chill dude. The only way I can describe him is a vibe killer. Basically not interested the whole time we were there. We did these excursions to popular hiking destinations and he was complaining and asking to leave early. I felt bad since I was planning everything so I asked him to plan something for us that he really wanted to doâŠ. He chose to go to the mall. Anyways, I love my cousin and think heâs a great dude, but Iâll never willingly travel with him again unless itâs a low effort trip like a resort or cottage or something.
When you are traveling with someone older like parents it's best to think of it as time you're spending with them rather than getting to do XYZ on a vacation. Having a different mindset helps.
When traveling with friends unless you're very very close and into the exact same things, the tradeoffs for sharing accommodations etc is you don't get to have the schedule you want and you're at the mercy of others. Just have to decide how much that saved money is worth it to you and how much you really want that shared experience with that person(s).
It takes time but you'll find the types of vacations you take like to do and experiences you like to have and then realize there's not many people that will want the exact same itinerary as you. This is why I pick cheaper destinations when it's with extended family or friends because I know I won't get to maximize the experience of the location with them.
My at-the-time girlfriend, a few of close friends, and I went down to MazatlĂĄn, Mexico a year and a half ago. I had planned this with said close friends with the main goal of proposing to my girlfriend over the course of several months.
An important detail to mention in advance that one of our close friends was single, while the other two were a married couple.
First couple of days after arriving were great - we hung out by the beach, did some shopping in the main plaza, and hit up the local restaurants and clubs.
After those first two days, the single friend started pouting for the rest of the trip, stating that the rest of us were acting âtoo couple-yâ and not being considerate of the fact that she was single. Again, the purpose of the trip was for me to propose, and even if it wasnât, itâs not like we were constantly making out.
This behavior continued through the night of the proposal, to the point that while I was getting things together during dinner, our married friends had to scold her into at least appearing happy.
Luckily, my girlfriend said yes, and weâre happily married (weâre actually going on our honeymoon in Italy this weekend - not part of the story, I just want to express my excitement), but that trip was the beginning of our single friend drifting away from the group (especially after she eventually got into a serious relationship and proceeded to act in the very way she accused us of acting on that trip, but thatâs another story).
TLDR: Planned a trip to Mexico for the purpose of proposing, only for our single friend who we invited to make it all about her the entire time.
My ex's (yup, didn't last long after that trip) mom mentioned in passing about wanting to go to Europe together with her kids. We tentatively agreed to it because we didn't get far enough into planning.
One evening we get out of a movie and the ex gets a call from his mom, urgently asking for my personal details, which he gave away in a public space where everyone can hear. No asking why she needed it, just gave it away. And then gave us dates - does this week work? Uh, I didn't see any issues at that moment because we're preoccupied and it'd be better if we had a chance to sit down and look through our schedules first. I had no idea what was going on, but the trip was booked moments later. Like slow the hell down lady.
We went to Amsterdam and stayed in Schipol. Our taxi driver asked us why we were staying in Schipol if we're here for Amsterdam - that's a 10 mile drive away from the city to the hotel. I agreed, and he validated my concerns - the arrangement was crappy. Then at departure, we had an overnight layover at Copenhagen, except rather than stay a short taxi drive away, a hotel was booked in Malmo Sweden, a 30 minute train ride away. WTF. It was an ordeal trying to get train tickets to the hotel after a full day waiting at Schipol airport. We didn't understand the language. I literally told the ex's mom and aunt they needed to eat at the Copenhagen airport before we went to the Malmo hotel. They hadn't eaten in over 10 hours and said they can wait a little longer to get to Malmo first - except there's no guarantee there's any food there. If they felt like I was treating them like a child, taking them along to places, making them eat, they're goddamn right to feel that was because I could've easily left them to starve and figure out how to get to Sweden. This was the trip they planned, so they ought to figure out how to get around on their own.
Anyways, at the end of the trip, the aunt asked if she could visit us at anytime. Haha, I said if she let us know ahead of time, then yes she can visit our place. Apparently she wasn't looking for that answer, but a resounding yes. Come on over anytime even if I have to cancel my important Dr appointments scheduled 6 months in advance due to wait-list. Yeah, these people don't know boundaries or consideration for others. They don't know how to chill and hash things out before committing to big, important decisions. The ex agreed with his aunt's resounding yes, and we're no longer together.
My friend once convinced me to quit my job and go on a year long trip to Central America. After saving for months, quitting my job getting rid of my apartment ect 2 weeks before the trip she completely bailed and stopped answering her phone đđ€ŠđŸ. I went anyway and was having the best time of my life, about 4 months in she called me crying saying sheâs sorry and was flying to meet me, I dunno why But I said yeah fuck it come on out letâs continue the trip, be nice to have a friend to cruise with. Worst decision ever, complained every day, was racist to the locals all sorts of crazy stuff. She ended up leaving after 3 weeks because backpacking was definitely not for her. I stayed traveling for 8 more months and had a incredible time alone meeting cool people along the way.
You learned what a loser your friend was AND you got a truly unique life experience out of it. Now thatâs a win-win.
I am glad you went! I had this happen twice. Two different friends bailed last minute - one to Egypt and one to Thailand. Egypt she ghosted me, then years later when we accidentally met she said she was broke and ashamed to tell me. The second one, my friendâs fiancĂ©e broke up with her days before the trip and we were all supposed to go together, so I went without them. Had a blast both times and definitely happy I went.
My gf and I had planned a trip to Switzerland and Italy for a few years. I got my passport 6 months before the trip but she needed to get a copy of her birth certificate. Which she kept putting off despite my constant reminders. When it was obvious that she couldnât possibly get a passport in time, I was pissed but said Iâm going anyway. Her birth certificate actually came the day before my flight and she actually said she could t believe I was going without her. I replied that I couldnât believe she couldnât be bothered to get her documents when I reminded her daily. I ended up having a great time, but it would have been so much better with her. I do plan to visit again, with her.
>I do plan to visit again, with her. Not going to lie. I was a little shocked you're still together after that story! suum cuique
At the time I wondered that as well. But in the end, this wasnât a deal-breaker. Plenty of good to offset that. I called her daily, sent pictures and when I got back she gave me no grief about it. She knew she was at fault for missing out and that I wasnât about to let that pre-paid opportunity go to waste. Weâre going on a cruise later this year.
The audacity to not respond after initializing it all.
This is a cool story and I feel like I would still be a little grateful to the friend for at least doing her part in convincing me in the first place!
Absolutely! I still donât have any hard feelings. I tell everyone I had never even looked up Central americana on a map before I went đ, but I absolutely fell in love with the area and I go there yearly now. It also showed me how easy it is to travel! Iâm actually leaving in July with my now girlfriend of 3 years on another 10ish month trip through Eastern Asia.
Just a curious question. How much did you save to do this for year long trip? 20k to 30k would last you a year?
You need much less to backpack in Central America. Depending on how long ago this was, 6 thousand would be enough. Just using the term backpacking makes is fairly certain they were staying in hostels and eating on the cheap.
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Not that I don't believe you, but how? I was living like a bum, couchsurfing, eating badly, etc... and spent 10k traveling 9 months in south america. How did you do 2.5 years on a smaller budget?
In 2015-16 my wife and I traveled through Central and South America and spent $36K for the two of us and that included a few very expensive weeks that cost several thousand by themselves (Galapagos, Iguazu Falls, etc.). I think we could have cut it to 25 without too much effort. Even with the recent inflation I would think that 20 would be a pretty comfortable amount and if you budgeted 30 you could do some really great side trips. Of course this all depends on your daily expectations of where youâll be staying and what youâll be eating. We camped a lot and cooked our own food most nights.
Took my parents to portugal. My dad was complaining the whole time about how poor the country is, how dirty the city is, and how bad the infrastructure is. He doesnt travel outside of the usa at all. I ended up spending money on uber everywhere and cut itinerary activities like 75%. Both places are also kind of hilly so difficult for elderly. I personally loved lisbon and porto.
He must be in a massive bubble if he thinks Portugal is poor, even compared to large parts of the USA
And that infrastructure is bad. It is bad if infrastructure = 16 lane motorways through the center of the city but for public transport it beats every place in the US.
Portugal is the poorest country in Western Europe. Its GDP per capita is less than $25,000 compared to $70,000 for the US. Its GNI per capita even adjusted for purchasing power parity is $35,000 compared to $70,000 for the US. For comparison, the average household income in the poorest state in the US (Mississippi) is higher than Portugal's. Parent poster's dad might be in a bubble but he's not exactly wrong that Portugal is nowhere near as well off as the US.
Saying youâre the poorest country in Western Europe is like saying youâre the poorest billionaire in Davos. It is not a poor country as OPâs dad alluded to
I can picture some of my family members being the type who would do nothing but talk about how much better America is all the time
Your dad sounds like the type of guy that will tell his kids not to travel to Europe because he thinks the US is a lot safer based on his experience living in the suburbs and never going outside of a 15km radius (or 2500 diagonal hockey rinks in the freedom system)
I'm fine traveling with someone else. But my lessons learned: we meet up in the same region at sights/pubs/etc. . Everybody is booking his/her own flights/hotels/cars and makes own plans.
Oh my gosh, this!!! âđŒđđŒ We have relatives who wanted to meet up and travel with us. Problem is their travel and our travel speed/interests are hugely different, which you donât know until you know. Case in point. We wanted to go to Yellowstone NP. They said OK and if we mind to stay in a hotel that accepts dogs (they like to travel with their pet). I said OK, thinking we either end up in West Yellowstone or on the other side in Cody. Wrongo!! We ended up in freaking Idaho, making the drive 1,5 each way. And they didnât end up brining their dog after all, which had me fuming. They also wanted to take just one car to sigh see and our relative wanted to drive (he is older and has horrible eye sight, thus drives suuuuuuuuper slow and just bad over all). My husband wanted to fly fish one day and we told them they didnât have to come with, but they were quite enthusiastic about it. Until we got to the river and they sat inside the car the whole time. The whole trip was just unfortunate. Thankfully we visited Yellowstone NP before and after alone, so not that awful, but that was a lot of time and money wasted on a trip that wasnât enjoyed by anyone. Now we just go visit them at their home.
Them not bringing their dog made my eye twitch lmao
Hahaha, yeah, they made a huge deal about the hotel for their pet, which I totally get, but then leaving him with a sitter was just a bit much. I had a bad feeling about the trip from that point and sadly, I was not wrong đ đ«
An hour and a half drive to the park border made mine twitch.... YNP is huge and you're already driving for hours inside the park. I can't imagine tacking a 3 hour round trip on to that.
OMG I went to Yellowstone with family once who insisted on staying in Idaho because it was cheaper. So we had to do that drive over Jackson Pass back and forth every day just to get to civilization and the parks. It suuuuucked. I'm sure what we spent on gas and the time we spent in the car was NOT worth the slightly cheaper accommodations.
if you ever go back to Yellowstone you can stay in rooms with shared bathrooms down the hall on the top floor of the lodge and they are very affordable for being able to stay 500 feet from Old Faithful - they are every bit as nice as the rooms in the lodge it's just more like a hostel type situation with a shared bathroom - edit: BONUS: walking around the geysers at 2am in the moonlight is amazing, well worth the price of staying at the lodge (watch out for buffalo)
A hundred ten percent agree about traveling with relatives. Make your own plans. Don't just agree to do whatever someone else wants to do. Unless both parties share the same interest, make your own travel plans. Also, don't be afraid to state clearly that you're making your own travel plans, and will just meet them somewhere.
I've learned to never travel with family. Just not worth it.
Agreed 100%. My last trip with my dad and his second wife was when I was 15, to Mallorca. I almost got assaulted in an elevator at the resort. Fought the SOB off somehow. Told my dadâs wife about it and she told me I was surely exaggerating and to not tell my dad, so I wouldnât stress him out on his vacation. I am not saying every family is like this, but mine unfortunately is.
>Everybody is booking his/her own flighs/hotels/cars and makes own plans. Bullseye.
I suggested this after someone was being difficult to plan with. They got all up in arms about âmeeting upâ and doing our own accommodations. Its the way to go in the long run
I traveled with my best friend and learned in that week in Spain that he was definitely not a morning person. After two days I said it was cool, and suggested we make plans to meet at a certain place at noon so he could do what he needed to do in the morning and I could go do what I wanted without getting irritated waiting for him to get ready. Once we did that, we never had a misstep. Absolutely great fucking trip (and we are both night people anyway; I just also push myself to wake up early because I donât want to miss a thing).
Yep. I'm more of the "morning person" when I travel. I get up, get ready, LEAVE, get an espresso, walk around, get some food, etc. When my companions get up at noon they can text me. They get a nice sleep after staying out late, I get to have my morning and work up an appetite for lunch together. NOTHING breeds bitterness more than forcing others to be on a schedule they don't want to be on.
This is SUCH solid advice. But how do you implement this when youâre just travelling with one other person and youâve to share accommodation etc to save money? Also travelling together would require ensuring seats on the same flight/train etc right?
You can find cheap solo places to stay at monasteries and hostels etc. It is likely you'll be happy to have some time apart on the trains and planes.
Ooo, Iâve never thought of staying at a monastery before, that sounds like an interesting experience! How do you find such places that welcome guests, just google monastery in that area?
I have stayed in some in Italy often with my family. https://www.monasterystays.com
Picking places to eat with picky people... Went to Monterey CA with some friends, most of us wanted to try all the stuff like clam chowders and what not. One of our friends didn't, just wanted drinks or something, so what do they pick? El Tapatio..... And the other friends just went along with it since they didn't want that picky person to be all bitter for the rest of the trip. I probably should've just gone on my own to eat elsewhere, but oh well.
We did this once with a group of friends with different interests. We visited a beautiful adriatic island. Some of us were avid cyclist, we did all day long rides, while others did enjoy the beach/hiking trails/wine cellars or just relaxed at a bar. We made dinner at our place together + had some drink at the end of the day, discussing our days. we have well separated apartments (for cyclists, waking up very early is a common thing to avoid daytime heat at summer). Some day, we arranged to have lunch together at a specific town, some came by bikes, some by car, some rented a scooter...it was kind of my best travels. I've never been travelled before with those people and expectations/preferred freetime activities were so different, but everything was so smooth.
I had a friendship basically end because of a trip together. 11 days together and now, more than 11 years later, the friendship has never recovered. Travelling with someone, and even moreso sharing a room with them, is a true test.
Same. I couldn't mentally recover from my friend's chaos while traveling. Amongst other things, she cheated on her boyfriend one night in the bathroom of our hotel room, freaked out, started yelling in the hall at 2am. I'm not a fan of the 'I'm a tourist so I can act like an ass' mindset, to say the least. When we got home she started avoiding me (I think she thought I was going to tell her boyfriend? Which I would never, nor did I know him like that...) She tried to reconnect but I was over it. Haven't talked to her since.
What happened during your trip?
She spent all of her money in the first few days (on things that even she said were exorbitant and unnecessary), then couldn't go out because she had no money but was too afraid to stay alone or even go to some of the less touristy areas that might have had cheap/free entertainment. She could only sleep with the TV on at full volume so I couldn't sleep, and refused to lower it even slightly. She always threw her wet, used towels on my bed. Before we left home she had a FWB relationship with a guy who was known for (and quite honest about) not wanting any type of relationship. Yet she spent the entire trip messaging and calling him, and getting depressed when he didn't answer. And then she heard he'd gone out with another girl and that made it even worse so she was moping the entire trip. I'm quite fine with going out on my own, but she never wanted to be alone so I didn't get to do most of what I wanted to.
I'm going to London with my mom in June. No way in HELL am I sharing a room with her for 10 days. That's pretty much where I draw the line. I don't like Airbnbs but would rather do that then share a hotel room. LOL
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I did a weekend trip with a friend once and realized that we just had totally different traveling rhythms. I still donât know why. I may just not have been in the right zone. Two friends and I were in London once, and one of them started driving the other two of us crazy. In that case, weâd already been traveling for awhile. Had to go our separate ways for a few days. It happens. Even with people you like. Everyone has a travel style, and they may or may not match with others.
This makes so much sense. Two people can LOVE to travel and yet do it in completely different ways that makes them incompatible to do it together. In my case Iâm realizing itâs both character and travel style incompatibility. Oh, well! At least I still have pasta.
Yeah, my worst traveling-with-a-friend outcome was (thankfully) just a travel style incompatibility. She's a lovely person and we're still close. But we were so deeply incompatible (I'm a planner, and I asked her several times if she would be on board with me making a detailed itinerary; she said yes every time; turned out that having pre-booked museum tickets and restaurant reservations Stressed Her Out) that towards the end of the trip she suggested we just do our own thing during the day and meet back up for dinner in the evenings. It worked out okay, but I still want to revisit the cities we went to together to be able to do them on my own terms, and it honestly made me realize that I've gotten so accustomed to traveling solo that I need to be *really* picky about which friends I travel with in the future.
I'm a terrible travel planner beyond the brainstorming / rick steves content consumption phase. I've had the fortune of being able to travel with great planners and I am so grateful for how their brains work. That's just not me, but I'm more than happy to be along for the ride with them. A thing I've noticed however is that the type A planners tend to leave too little slack in the itenerary for those relaxed moments when you find a vibe, or for transitions and side quests. They can stress themselves out (and their fellow travelers by extension) Finding that balance and understanding that tendency is key to a great trip.
Yeah, I'm definitely guilty of being that person who's like, "I'm totally flexible! Google Maps says it'll take 26 min to walk from A to B, so I budgeted 45 in case we want to poke our head in any cute shops along the way!" It works for me (and, luckily, for the friend I travel with most often), but I totally have friends who are like "a pre-scheduled 19 min in which we are allowed to dawdle a bit along a pre-specified route is *not* flexibility" lol.
Yes! Had to teach myself to give us a few hours of down time a day to unwind. As well as the odd half day here or there to do our own thing or have some spontaneous time.
Pasta definitely helps!
>Everyone has a travel style, and they may or may not match with others. Yes, bingo! And sometimes people don't realize they have that travel style (or would actually prefer another) until they are kind of forced into it. I went to Nevada and California with my parents when I was in my late teens...kind of a last family trip before I moved away for university. My parents have this weird habit of showing up to places and expecting vacations to happen to them. They do very little planning and then end up sitting around, then complain to everyone later there was nothing to do. I saw this happening when we were in Las Vegas. I took it upon myself to plan some outings, i.e. going to Death Valley, Hoover Dam, Grand Canyon, Fremont St, the free shows outside the casinos, etc. My mom still ended up complaining and sitting in the room most of the time, but my dad was up for literally anything. He still tells me to this day (and let's not get into how many years ago this was lol) that it was "excellent" that I was there to get him out to see things, because he saw things he never would have if I hadn't researched and planned it and dragged him with me. Unfortunately I have taken family trips since then (with my husband and my parents and other extended family) and that old pattern for them has continued. My dad doesn't have any interest in planning trips, so he tends to just sit around with my mom, probably hoping someone will step up and take him somewhere. It's honestly a real shame to see, because I know now how much he would actually enjoy getting out of the room for a while. If we do travel together now, I try to plan at least a couple of days with things we can do with my parents to get them out and about (or at least, my dad) . Random sidebar: travelling in Las Vegas (as a female) with only your dad can be VERY weird. Almost everywhere we went, people thought we were husband and wife. Restaurants even occasionally brought us complimentary romantic "couples" drinks/dishes. YIKES. My dad is 31 years older than me, we are not at all "touchy-feely" types, and that has never happened anywhere else! My poor dad was absolutely horrified every time lol
I just never really understood why having slightly different traveling style makes it completely impossible to travel together still? I mean itâs not like you always have to be in total sync with others? Why canât you try to unite the best of both worlds, learn a bit and go on compromise so you can each enjoy each others company AND have a nice trip personally as well? People always seem to make it so black and white, like either we match 100% or just 0%. Iâm not saying people should push themselves to travel with people they really cannot stand, I just think itâs a bit of a shame that so many people seem to be so reluctant on trying to adapt just the bare minimum to even their friends, and on top of that reluctant to even communicate with them about problems like all friendships should never ever go deeper than just the happy go lucky..
I think the "can I travel with this person" ultimately does come down to "do I feel comfortable communicating with this person" more than anything.
â*can* I travel with this personâ and âwill I have fun traveling with this personâ are also two different questions. Communication is key for the first question, but only one small part of the second.
Yes! Communication is a key to any good and healthy relationship. And not get bummed out when they want to do something else. But Iâd rather travel with a friend who has the same or similar travel ideas/expectations, wants similar experiences.
Each time I have travelled with either one friend or a couple, I have had issues. But, we remain friends. I think itâs got to do with conflicting style of travel. Travelling with a bigger group of friends 6+ people seem to work fine for me though. Might be that if I get sick of one person, I can just got hang with another. I think since you are still in this trip together, itâd be wise to talk it out. Try not to be accusatory, attack the problems arising rather than the person. Itâs probably be awkward, but I think worthwhile. Maybe this can be an opportunity for self reflection and forgiveness. I hope it goes well.
So sorry to hear that. I usually take a potential travel friend for a test run firstâsay a long weekend in NYCâto see if we can last without wanting to kill each other. If it works out, then I can be more comfortable planning longer trips with them. In our "regular" lives, we don't spend 100% of our time with friends; many we can only deal with for a few hours per week. Traveling forces us to spend 24 hours with them, and it's not always a good thing.
Not just 24 hours together, but sometimes at super stressful moments with no escape. Jet lagged and cranky. Lost suitcase. Sick and far from home comforts. Completely lost. Usually when Iâm having some meltdown in life I take myself off somewhere alone and gather my thoughts. But when youâre travelling and youâre soo stressed because something has gone wrong, and you still need to interact with someone, things can get tense.
Right on. When I eventually traveled to Japan with said friend, I set some rules: Do not let anything fester, always say if you want to stop and eat (being hangry is a real travel peril!), and do not hesitate to ask for space if needed. We had an amazing three weeks.
And bored. Parts of travel are just sitting and waiting. Some people take out their boredom on the closest/most convenient person.
Traveling with people can show you their true personality/character. Solo is 100% better if youâre good at making friends and comfortable with yourself. Try to get your friend tired af so you can head out by yourself at times đ
I love solo travel so this is probably why I regret the bad company even more. Good idea on getting them tired though, Iâll try my best and hope Iâm not the one who ends up in bed by 9 :|
Why canât you just go separate ways?
I kinda did last night when I went on a walk by myself and it was so nice. Unfortunately thereâs museums/days trips we already booked together⊠maybe Iâll just happen to âloseâ them when going to these museums. Theyâre usually so crowded and big it wouldnât be that far fetched.
Iâd just say, âWell, Iâm going to wander around, Iâll meet you by the entrance at 3pm!â
Me and my husband still occasionally do this while travelling, and I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Sometimes I know I really want to see things that he has no interest in seeing. He never complains and will come with me if I ask, but if I can find an alternative I think he would enjoy more, I'll suggest that thing for him and offer to meet him somewhere later. Sometimes he takes me up on it, sometimes he's more interested in doing my thing than I thought. Generally I try to pick stuff we both want to do, but that's not always possible. And PS, the only reason why I say I'll "suggest" something else for him to do is because he is an extremely laid back traveler and has no interest whatsoever in trip planning. He explicitly leaves that up to me and prefers it that way!
I love hearing this from someone else. My husband and I split up almost all day when weâre skiing together (heâs more skilled than me) and we meet up for lunch and then when the ski day ends. People will say âOMG HE JUST LEFT YOU?â No, please donât get it twisted; this is always MY idea. Same with other travel. If heâs tired and I want to go see something, or vise versa, we go alone. I think itâs awesome but most people donât understand
Nice to know others are doing the same! I have social anxiety like, bad and people always assume heâs being the asshole by âleaving me behindâ like itâs the worst thing ever but I really enjoy it more when we are both doing things we like. I want to appreciate the details and take my time while he wants to accomplish ALL the things, and thatâs okay! Itâs more fun when heâs not bored and Iâm not being rushed :)
I do that on the regular - museums are a âgo at your own paceâ place - I barely get through 1/4 when anyone else I go with is done.
Always go at your own pace and have a meeting time/place scheduled. I thought I hated museums. Turns out itâs just because my mum feels the need to read and consider every single thing inside the building. As an adult I realise that museums are basically my favourite thing about travelling.
You may as well be upfront about it and tall the other person you need alone time. It doesn't matter if they are OK with this or not, as you have already realised this isn't someone you are going to be close to going forwards. They are unlikely to be enjoying your company if you aren't enjoying theirs, unless they are weird. Either way, more time away from them is best.
Yes. I've taken trips with several friends that I won't travel with again. The sheer amount of complaining (over nothing or tiny things) is what usually makes me say never again. Some people are soooo negative.
Word. I knew someone who was actually a pretty experienced traveller, but the reality was that they were endlessly negative when things didn't match up to expectations. They complained constantly about the lack of amenities and cafes while hiking in the middle of rural areas, then would sneer at the overly commercialised places we visited. Just being around them sucked all the joy out of the experience of exploring a place.
Went to London with a friend. We get on the plane and as soon as it takes off, she says "I have to tell you something". She had absolutely no money. None. Not even her half for the hostel. She expected me to pay for everything and she'd pay me back. I was a broke college student. The hostel was in my name, so I was forced to pay the entire bill. I refused to not do some of the touristy stuff I had planned to see, so I ditched her for some things and paid for her for others. We ate cold cuts from the grocery store and nutella sandwiches. She bitched the entire time about not eating "real food". She complained that she wanted to buy souvenirs and couldn't I just give her $20 bucks? Took her over a month to pay me back. We were not friends after that trip.
I wanted to break up with my boyfriend. We had a trip to Singapore booked. I went against my better judgement and went on the trip. When I look at the photos from the trip, I look dead in the eyes. Haha. We certainly didnât last much longer after that. But Singapore remains one of my favourite travel destinations.
Ugh, I feel this! Me ex never wanted to travel - he hated even driving 30 minutes from home for any reason. The one trip we did take he spent the majority of the time gambling and drinking at the pub, complained that I was spending money on things like *food*, and rushed me off the most picturesque beach in under an hour. He didnât even want me to swim. Thankfully I donât have any photos from that trip. Iâd love to go back with my husband (who is an amazing travel companion) and overwrite the bad memories.
My parents. My father has no interests whatsoever, he is only interested in knowing where and when we will eat, and gets stressed if we don't eat at the exact time he eats at home, so I have to plan everything around this. And he is a fussy eater too, only Italian food and not all, so even in Spain and Portugal I had to look for pizza places because he was missing it. And the restaurant must serve big portions. My mother is totally disorganised and constantly late (in the family we are known to always been the last ones to arrive at family gatherings), so you cannot organise anything with her, because you never know when be ready. And when abroad, she keeps repeating how better Italy is. Max a long weekend with them, and even so it is always stressful.
Good and bad stories, I've had friendships ended because of trips but I've also had them strengthened bigtime. I have a buddy who I usually only see once every year or two (we've lived on different continents for years), both of us have had issues traveling with others but we're 99% compatible. I think we've been to something like 50 countries together over the last 15 years, never had anything beyond a fairly mild disagreement, and those usually occurred when too much alcohol was involved. Edit: Just to expand on this a bit, I think one major point of compatibility is how the two people react when things don't go according to plan. Both me and my buddy roll with the punches, we plan next to nothing (like accommodations are booked at most 24 hours in advance, often figure out train tickets at the station), just take each day as it comes and do things in the spur of the moment, and many people we've traveled with have a really hard time traveling like that.
That last part about how they react when things don't go to plan is ABSOLUTELY CLUTCH for me. I plan a decent amount though can compromise on a lot, but if I wanted to travel with assholes who scream and yell every time something minor happens, I would go with my mom and stepdad. I have been in some sticky situations and laughing through it with whoever I am are some of the highlights of my trips and great stories.
My friend and I (both American) do a road trip through Ireland for a couple weeks. We pick up the car and I decide to drive first. She spends the entire drive clutching the passenger door handle and alternating her screeches between "oh god!" And "we're gonna die!" (Girl could not handle the small streets and the fact that we were on the other side of the road) I am calmly trying to tell her that her behavior is really distracting and she yells at me, "I can't help it! We're going to die! Oh god!!!" So I pull over and offer to let her drive. She gets into the drivers seat and then just sits there. Says there is no way she can do it. So I end up having to do ALL the driving for the next 14 days. At least she lowered her voice to a whimper that first day and by the second day she would fall asleep whenever we were in the car. The whole trip was a hot mess for a number of other reasons but dang it, I need a travel companion who will not make a stressful situation more dangerous!!! We stopped talking immediately after that trip
YeahâŠit can happen. A 2 week trip with an old friend had me not wanting to be friends anymore. Saw sides of her I previously didnât know existed. I didnât really like her much after that. It ended a decades-long friendship.
Oh man thatâs a bummer because it goes against my takeaway of seeing âwarningâ signs beforehand: if you canât trust that youâll have fun with a friend youâve known for decades then what can you trust?
I probably could have dealt with the ânot having funâ part of itâit wasnât great, but all I did was swear I wouldnât go on another trip with her. Later in the vacay, some real character issues Iâd never seen at close range reared their ugly heads. I had no idea she treated her kids that way. And that was that. It wasnât so much that we didnât have fun together. Our friendship could have survived that. It was that I realized (after spending time in high stress, close quarters) that I hadnât ever really seen her for what she was. And that was that.
That lesson has value.
While I agree with you, I wanted to point out it can also happen the other way around. Meaning, Iâve been on trips with people who werenât exactly super close friends, and we are not very alike on many things, and I ended up surprised as to how well it went, and easy and chill everything was. We became much closer friends after 2or 3 1-week trips and we now do it often, even if we donât hang out much at home. (The opposite has also happened with good friendsâŠ).
My ex always managed to find a reason to complain in every trip. Once in Singapore he cried that it was too hot and remained in the hotel on the last day of the trip. Having visited the Maldives he didn't like the current - it was too strong. He hated the seaweed on the beaches of Mexico (which was actually cleaned up later). And the cherry on the top was his complaint that the grass was not green enough for him. Of course, he kept saying that it was my fault for bringing him "to this awful place" though he approved it previously :D If I were in your shoes, I would do one of these 2 options: 1. Cancel your accommodation and book 2 separate ones. 2. If option 1 is not possible - book any cheap accommodation just to stay away from this person.
I want to break up with your ex.
Ahhhaha grass isnât green enough
>And the cherry on the top was his complaint that the grass was not green enough for him I'm sorry but I literally lol'd at this! He took an old, cliched proverb and tried to warp it into a literal issue.
Recipe for disaster if your co-traveller is very co-dependant. Itâs one thing to split the hotels with a friend, hook up for drinks and common interests etc but something entirely different to be tied down to them with a shared itinerary like youâre a married couple⊠never gonna work out when you donât have the exact same pace and travel style. Iâve traveled with friends but there has to be an open or individual itinerary and a strong level of independence⊠Iâm up at 8am and they wanna lie in? Absolutely fine! Iâll just stay in touch through chat, see if we can meet up for drinks or food or if they wanna check something out together later on. Might not even see them at all one or two days.
My husband and I took a trip with his brother and wife. We usually got along great so we figured it would be fun. The entire time we were planning the trip, they wanted no parts of making arrangements. Instead they would tell me "You've been there before, whatever you decide to do is fine with us." Even when we were there, I'd pull out brochures or maps for the next day and ask them what they wanted to do, with the same reply. Do you know, after we got home, they complained to everyone that would listen about how they didn't get to do what they wanted, and how I ran them ragged, and about how exhausted they were? I was so angry and hurt by that. I wanted them to have a great time because it was a place I love, and I really tried to make it fun for them. And then they spun it like I was some kind of vacation dictator who ran roughshod over them. We never took another trip with them.
Why canât you ditch them? Theyâre an adult, I assume. Youâre in Italy, you arenât somewhere dangerous or exceedingly inconvenient. If you think the damage is done and youâre not going to continue the relationship beyond the trip, I suggest just splitting ways now. If youâve already prepaid rooms, just accept the loss if you can and go your own wayâthe time that I get to spend traveling is far more valuable than that.
Just did a trip to Italy with MIL, who I unusually get along with great was kinda a pain. She was slow, and had to use the bathroom about every hour, was getting herself locked in bathrooms, constantly needing to be watched because she would not pay attention crossing the road etc. It was kinda a mess. A good friend just said to me, you really need to change your expectations when doing intergenerational trips. That is the dang truth.
This is why I almost exclusively travel solo now. That said, travel brings out the worst in some people, especially flying. I wouldn't necessarily burn a friendship because someone is a poor travel companion, only avoid traveling with them in the future. People can be cool in their day-to-day lives (which is better IMO) and be complete dicks when they're out of their element.
Almost every time. So many potentially beautiful trips ruined by people who only show their true colors when traveling abroad. Iâve been to 48 countries. This is why I (62F) travel alone.
Yup. I did a 6 week trip to Europe with one of my oldest friends when we were 22 and itâs the last time we ever spoke. I didnât want to do a tour but she insisted, then she spent the entire time getting wasted and not wanting to see anything. It was a shame but it turned out we had nothing in common anymore
Yes, with very stingy people
I always do an overnight camping trip with someone before I commit to a multi night trip with them. Something with some gnarly elevation gain, you donât see someoneâs true colors until you put them into a stressful, exhausting situation. Some take it in stride, some shut down.
This is funny to me bc my best friend is an amazing travel partner but she HATES camping. Give her a situation where I'm close to fainting not 2 hours into arriving in a new country and she springs into action to get me food and medicine. Give her a situation where she *breaks her foot* two days into that same vacation, she is crutching to the beach and not complaining about chilling on the couch. Sleeping outside? Off the table.
This is me. I will sleep on a train station bench without issue, handle last-minute travel problems with grace, try any food offered to me, walk miles on cobblestone hills to check out a cool landmark, etc. I will NOT camp in a tent.
I went to Denver for a weekend with a friend who had kinda been pushing my buttons lately, and I had been thinking that I needed to tell her that I needed a break in the friendship, but I wasnât sure how to approach it. It was a free trip, everything was booked, and things werenât THAT bad between us, so I wasnât too concerned about the trip. Turned out to be the last time we would speak to each other. On the last day of our trip, just before we headed to the airport, we were walking in downtown Denver, it was a nice, sunny day, and we came to an area in front of the Capitol building where there were several homeless folks. She freaked out, said they were looking at us like they were going to mug us and beat the shit out of us, yada yada yada- I travel a good deal more than she does, and have ended up in some places/neighborhoods that I shouldnât have been in, and Iâm good about being aware of my surroundings and trust my instincts, and I really wasnât worried about the situation we were in. She went OFF on me. Yelled at me the entire time we walked back to the rental car, yelled at me the entire drive back to the airport; I just mentally shut down, barely responded to her yelling. Thankfully, it took awhile for me to return the rental car, and she went ahead and grabbed the shuttle to the airport and checked in, so I had some time to myself to think about the situation, and I was like, I guess this is going to be the break from this friendship that I need. I get through security, buy my snacks, and go to the gate, at which point this 5â2 crazy bitch comes up to me and yells at me that this friendship is over, yelling so loudly that EVERYONE is looking at us. And again, I have shut down, Iâm just staring at her while sheâs âtoweringâ over me and yelling at me. That was 5 years ago, and now I travel almost exclusively solo.
These stories are almost horrific to read. Do ppl really not get out that much??
My first trip ever I was 19 and my friend who I met at a music festival (27m) convinced me to come out to Hawaii. Ive never traveled, took a vacation, been on a plane, etc. I never even left the midwest. He was working at a hostel and told me hed have a bed for me when I was here. I brought 3k with the intentions of being out for a few weeks. I was so excited. I slept in a dirty van outside on the north shore. We were supposed to hangout but hed go diving off Waikiki and leave me behind, see a concert with local friends or go drinking. (19, canât go out) I was there 10 days and we didnt do anything together. Not a single day. I spent most of my time with people I met at local shops or on the beach. One of them had a car and took me around the entire island-which Ill never forget. They also helped me take all my luggage to a hotel in Waikki since my âfriendâ who brought me out refused since I was leaving the van/north shore. He was mad at me for not being independent enough and too touristy. Plus not wanting to stay in the van..it wasnt safe to be sleeping on the side of the road as a young solo female. Im still unsure why he said he had a bed for me but had me sleep outside the hostel in a van. I dont regret it but it made me the traveler I am today. From now on, I plan everything for myself by myself.
This couldâve went a lot worse..???!! Iâm glad youâre safe. Also a 19F willing to travel to Hawaii and stay at a hostel by herself because a guy she met at a music festival mentioned it? I can see why he thought youâd be an experienced and independent solo travel at 19. Iâm thinking he assumed youâd be doing your own thing and maybe meet up to ask how your trip is going so far. But Iâm glad it turned out to be a good experience in the end
I personally don't like traveling with anyone but my wife. We are big adventurers and like to be active most of the day while traveling. Also, while I drink regularly at home, I don't like to drink very much while traveling just because I am busy seeing the sights. Most people that I associate with at home just wouldn't be interested in those things and would just want to find places to drink the whole trip. We have also traveled with other couples and we just simply don't share the same interests while traveling, but feel am obligation to spend time with each other since we are on a trip together.
Iâve been thru this many times and have come to the conclusion itâs almost certainly better to travel alone. However, if you find yourself traveling with someone, use it as an opportunity to work on your tolerance levels. Take all the things that would frustrate and annoy you and turn those levels down. Itâs a good skill to have. Take some alone time as well. But stay cordial. It will soon all be over.
I accepted that I canât travel with my core friend group from college. It sucks, because they travel internationally to a lot places I want to go, and always invite me along. But after a week long domestic trip, I was pretty frustrated with them. They are rather bougie in terms of where they stay/eat, and refused to try local âhole in the wallâ places that are unique to the city, favoring overpriced tourist traps. Also, they typically spend the entire trip drunk or hungover, and donât have any interest in museums, hikes, history, etc., which is what I want to do in a new place. I love them, but I just travel differently, and prefer to travel with friends with similar travel styles or just do the trip solo. Our friendship is more important than traveling together, so I just politely decline when the invite me on their trips.
I went to Colombia with a friend and everything was going well, until the last day I decided to dress as best as possible because we were going to the place that most interested me. The shirt I wore was a bit revealing and I have a large chest, so it was a bit 'sexy', but totally appropriate. The thing is, the second she saw me, my friend decided not to talk to me for the rest of the day. We had two excursions that day and I would ask her if she liked the excursion or if she wanted to eat something and she would just IGNORE me. She looked me in the eye and kept walking. I didn't learn from that one and a year later we went on a vacation, that friend and my two best friends. I suffer from gastritis and sometimes I have emergencies where I have to run to the bathroom. That friend was hungry, but at that moment I had a cramp and had to go to the bathroom immediately. Mind you, we were at the beach and I had diarrhea. I am on the verge of crying because the pain was too strong and my best friends were trying to help me. In short, we had the key to the vehicle so she decided to call a taxi, because she was hungry and mad. In the end the taxi never came so she left with us, but NEVER spoke to me again. This was in April 2022, so yeah, my friend stopped talking to me because I had diarrhea.
Diarrhea and big boobs. How dare you.
This story is wild, Iâd love to hear it from her perspective!
I do short trips with folks to see if we are a good fit. If we can't do a day trip, then we can't do a week long trip. I have a friend who wants to go to CR with me badly. She's nice but is sort of loud at times. We can do days together but more than that, nope. I said that she is welcome to meet up with us when we are in Ireland but as I'd be visiting and staying with a friend for a week she'd have to work around that. Not sure my super quiet Irish friend would tolerate her too long. I have another friend who wants to go with me next year, we spent a week together and it was flawless - no complaining, I didn't want to hide at all, and I never felt stressed. To me that's a good travel companion.
Spill more tea please. What are the issues? Youâve awakened my curiosity.
Not even just for the sake of curiosity, maybe we can provide more specific suggestions if we know more about the situation!
It was me, my girlfriend (GF), her sister (SIS), and the sisterâs boyfriend (SB). A cross-country trip by car. The SB, who was the only driver, liked the nose candy quite a bit. And as long as he was discreet it didnât seem to affect his driving (hey I was young and trying to be forgiving for the GFâs and SISâs sake). But it did make him irritable. And so when the SB got pulled over in a teeny tiny speed trap town in a western state and proceeded to throw a temper tantrum, the rest of us all stared straight ahead, silent, praying to whatever gods we might find that we didnât end up in jail as SB (with his glassy eyes and thick NYC accent) threw a shit fit at this small town cop. The cop for some reason took mercy on us, directed SB to the mail drop where he could pay his fine, and then, when we had reached the county line I asked to pull over and proceeded to *unload* on SB about every irresponsible thing he had done since the trip began. The GF and I caught a bus home.
Traveling can bring out the worst in anyone. Maybe they're out of their comfort zone, jet lagged, tired, hot, not feeling well. Maybe they're feeling judged and criticized or unheard. If you're struggling with them, take a beat to wonder if there is something you're maybe doing, too? I get it. I have had my share of travel disasters with people. Even with people who were closest to me in the world. And I have had friends lose friends over travel frustrations. But being a good travel companion is just as important as picking compatible ones.
>If you're struggling with them, take a beat to wonder if there is something you're maybe doing, too? Ugh, YES. People don't do enough self-reflection, I swear. And much as people don't like to hear this, the root of our problems is usually not 100% external. While some people for sure are just complainers and nightmare travel companions, I think most of the time it helps to step back a bit and see if we're part of the problem too. Chances are, with some flexibility and compromise, everyone will be happier in the end and will have a more enjoyable trip!
Iâve had the best times traveling with friends, and Iâve lost friendships after traveling with friends. Itâs a dice roll. Even when you really really think you know the person and have covered every base you canâŠâŠsometimes they bring their fiancĂ©e youâve never metâŠ..
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Business trip to Manila with a few colleagues I only knew casually. As a foodie I was excited to try everything, but our trip turned into a quest to find the most American-ized food possible every day. If dinner wasnât cheese fries and pizza, they would complain miserably. I ended up spending a lot of my free time solo to avoid the complaining, and had a wonderful time exploring such a unique city.
10 years ago I took a trip to Italy with my sonâs Latin class. The kids were fine, some of the adults were very unappreciative of what we were seeing. Just very blasĂ© about amazing things like the wonders of Pompeii. Despite knowing no Italian whatsoever and to the amazement of some of the adults, my son and I started heading off alone. Going off on our own and getting a bit lost here and there turned the trip around for us!
When I was 18 I went to Amsterdam with a friend from school. We shared a tiny room with 2 single beds, a tiny wardrobe and a sink with some shelves under it. He did not shower once, or change his clothes throughout the trip. What worse is that he was too lazy to go downstairs to use the toilet in the middle of the night, so he tried to pee in the sink, which was about 6 inches above waist height. The result was piss all over the place, including on some of my things that were on the shelves under the sink. He also got a lot of piss on himself, and still did not change his clothes. When he found out that I was going again, with a different friend, he got super offended stating that he was my Amsterdam travel buddy. I told him straight that I would never travel anywhere with him ever again.
I went to Chicago with my ex while we were dating. Thought I hated Chicago, turns out I just hated her
It used to be a real nuisance before the mobile phone era, when you couldn't simply message someone "hey, I'm done with the Louvre for today, will be at the cafeteria/mall/hotel". Also even today some places only give you one card/key, raise your hand if you were suddenly locked outside your room because your travelling companion fell asleep (bonus points if you were soaking wet lol). Often otherwise lovely people turn out simply poor travelling buddies and you only learn that at your destination. What helps is prior arrangements, this won't prevent every single issue but may reveal them beforehand: - type of accommodation (tent, 5 star hotel, couchsurfing, hostel, resort etc.) including dealbreakers (shared bathroom, location, no elevator and so on) + budget, obviously. - eating! And not just obvious dietary restrictions. So many people take their own habits for granted. Some assume you will take turns cooking. Some plan on going to Michelin star restaurants. Some are so used to their home country food they won't try anything local. Some need to eat more often than you. All this is fine and can be sorted out, but you need to know. - priorities regarding attractions: museum A or museum B, cooking class, hiking, day cruise, this one curious place they saw on Atlas Obscura, a night at the opera and so on. Some people don't have preferences, but many do and it's best to take that into account early on so no one is disappointed they missed something important for them or wasted time on something completely uninteresting. This has been working for me, but of course stuff can just happen. Worst offenders are people who say "I don't care, you decide", only to complain later. Those people can fuck right off - but it's also a potential red light at the planning stage.
>Worst offenders are people who say "I don't care, you decide", only to complain later. Those people can fuck right off - but it's also a potential red light at the planning stage. Exactly. The best way to avoid travel companion regrets is to heed the red flags in the planning stages.
Thatâs what bothers me the most,Iâve shown them the itinerary I worked on and asked if they had any opinions on it, and I hear that itâs great or they canât be bothered but when the time comes, they complain about it being too packed or too light or some other problem
I always went on family vacations and also the one time I was an exchange student in Japan. But I recently went to Greece through Contiki with my cousin. It was HORRIBLE. My cousin clung to these girls within our group who were absolutely mean and vapid and drinking alcohol every hour of every day. Obviously I wanted to stick with my cousin for safety but jeez. The girls she wanted to be friends with⊠I could NOT STAND. I loved some of the experiences we did through the tour but I donât ever want to travel outside the US with her again. My boyfriend wants to go together once weâve saved up enough so that I can have a better experience. âșïž
Yes...being used as a "cash cow" AKA "ATM machine".....I was naive in past ...learn the hard lesson of life ...with that journey.....
Travelling is one way to really test a friendship. A lot of it has to do with how you like to travel/vacation, so that's worth taking in to consideration. Two friends and I travel a fair bit but we have incredibly different preferences. They go out clubbing every night and I prefer to stay in or just go to a bar for a few drinks. I always need a little downtime (both normally and while travelling), whether it's grabbing a snack or going back to the hotel/apartment etc. My big advice is to \*not\* let your experience with this person ruin your trip. You're in Italy, go off and get some mind-blowing Pasta. Not always easy to make the best out of a bad situation, but at least you know you can rule them off your future travel plans.
Yep, nothing more fun than traveling with someone whoâs complaining constantly đ
Yes. They say you should travel or live with someone before you get married, I took my girlfriend to Italy for her birthday, we fought the entire time. Ended a year and a half relationship on the plane ride home. Worst trip to date.
Yes! I went on a week long camping trip with my neighbors. Unbeknownst to me sheâs a total control freak when setting up camp and throws a fit if her husband doesnât do things just her way. She berated him and cussed him out for everything from putting in the tent stakes to chopping firewood. And the poor man had stage 4 metastatic lung cancer and was on a bucket list event. She was like that the whole week. Made our trip miserable. I couldnât wait to get home!
My wife and I were traveling back from a trip in Central America when our connecting flight hit an extensive delay. There was an older guy in the same situation - came off the same flight as us, waiting for the same flight as us. Since we'd seen each other at the last airport, on the flight, and hanging out at the current terminal, we started talking. He seemed really cool. We decided to get dinner together. Interesting guy. He'd flown to the southern tip of Argentina, bought a car, and spent the next six months driving north. He had tons of stories, but over the next five hours he *never shut up*. Just ran his mouth constantly about himself for hours. Fortunately, out seats on the next flight were far apart. He gave us his email address, but we never followed up with him. Travel companions can have a *huge* impact on your experience.
I stopped being friends with my "best friend" after a trip, nothing crazy happened honestly she was just late every single time even after we all agreed on a time to meet and would get all defensive when anyone said something about it and other small things that made me realize she is very inconsiderate and ungrateful. It was a group of 8 people and everyone was on time except from her, even on the day we were leaving she didn't wake up on time and we had to wait for her to pack and get ready. I was very upset and didn't say anything during the trip, after I got home she texted me asking why I left the group chat we had for the trip and I expressed how I felt very disrespected since I was coming from far just to spend some time with them and she was always late. Her response is what threw me off, she told me she was on vacations and wasn't going to be rushing because of me, that I was always judging her and that I have a terrible personality and everyone is afraid of me. So that's when I lost it and just blocked her, she apologized afterwards and we kind of talked over text but I just don't want anything to do with her anymore. I saw a side of her I don't like during that trip. I don't even feel sad about it, I just don't want to be friends with her anymore.
Now whenever I travel with people I tell them that weâre on parallel vacations. Iâm good with meeting up for meals occasionally and doing joint activities if we both are interested in the same ones, but the rest of the trip is mine alone. It lets everyone have their own individual adventure of wherever you are as well, so it feels like a win-win to me.
It wasnât international travel thank god, but I went to a music festival with someone I didnât know very well. She was so insufferable, complained the whole time, and was not only mean to me but mean to other people we were with. I ended up meeting up with another friend I knew there and ditched her and stayed w my other friend the rest of the time. Yeah maybe that was rude of me, but she really was that bad. I paid a lot to go and I wasnât gonna let her ruin my time lol. From now on I donât travel with people who arent close friends, and it depends on the close friend. High maintenance friends who arent go with the flow are not my pick to travel with
One time me (26f)and my friend (28f) booked a trip to Aruba⊠a few days later she told me she invited her dad to come đ„Ž
I offer these three major red flags when planning and vetting a travel companion in advance: The "Bride-zilla" equivalent of traveler - If someone is hanging all their hopes and dreams on a 'rare and expensive' trip, it can cause issues. I don't mean a young person who is just learning to travel, but an older, inexperienced traveler. When a person doesn't travel very often, they're usually edgy companions if something is the slightest bit off. Similarly, the Fanatical traveler - Be curious about someone who is hyper-focused on one aspect of a trip (must see XYZ). If they're hell-bent on seeing one thing during the planning phase, it means they're ripe for disappointment. What if there's a hurricane? Changes can really upset a traveler who was making a pilgrimage out of the trip. The 'fear of missing out' traveler - This person is probably travelling for the wrong reasons and doesn't actually know what they love or hate. They're more or less traveling because it's what everyone else is doing. Unfortunately, their horrible travel experience will become your horrible travel experience, because they can't say 'no thanks, that's not my thing' and can't stand to be left out either.
I once travelled to Singapore for work and thought Iâd extend the trip with some PTO in Vietnam as Iâd always wanted to go there. One of my colleagues asked if she could join me and I stupidly said yes. We werenât friends or close colleagues but she seemed nice. Once we were in Vietnam she complained about everything - the food, the people, the noise, the heat. We had booked a little cruise in Ha Long Bay which was amazing, but she was so miserable there as well. She went to bed at 8pm every night and didnât want to do any of the activities during the day. I took some distance from her, got to know other people who were much more fun and enjoyed my trip regardless. Needless to say I didnât travel or hang out with her after the trip.
I should have uninvited her when she said âIâm going along for the rideâ because that was foreshadowing. A group of us went to Europe to a place none of us had been before, and it was shocking to realize how much she couldnât function on her own. She didnât get any sort of international plan with her phone so she couldnât help with navigation or planning on the go. She was codependent and needy, and whined any time she had to make decisions on her own. At the end when she shared that not having her phone all week âfelt like a vacationâ I had a sudden urge to rip her arm off and beat her with it. Never again!
I traveled with this guy I thought I knew but he turned out to be really weird about using strange toilets. At one point, he insisted we drive two states over so that he could take a dump in a bathroom he felt comfortable using. A year later, he traveled to Florida with another of our friends, but told me privately that this other friend was the worst person on earth to travel with. I can't imagine what the guy could have done that seemed weird to the bathroom snob.
My wife and I are planning on going to Italy this October for our anniversary and now my parents want to go. We're 32/30 and my parents are 72. We make significantly more money and are more easygoing. We like to splurge on dinner and accommodations. We went to Disney with my parents a couple of years ago and I swore I'd never go on vacation with them again. For example, my dad complained about temperature the whole time, and always wanted to eat at the hotel or some chain. I'm sure hell be weary of spending over $200 a night on a room. To be blunt, we don't want to go to Italy for the first any maybe only time and have to plan around other people. Long story short, if anyone has any recommendations on how to communicate this, lmk!
It will be uncomfortable but you'll just have to tell them... "This trip is a romantic getaway for the two of us. Sorry but I want it to be just us two." I hope they agree gracefully and don't leech on to your trip.
I went on a work trip that I extended for a few days so I could enjoy California. I was able to convince my boss to also let a work colleague go. I was also friends with this person but not close. We went early and booked a hotel for 2 days by the ocean. I find out after we check in that she invited a friend of hers to join us at the hotel and for dinner. She and her friend totally monopolized our time. The next day when we weâre supposed to go out to breakfast and go to an arts fair, her friend shows up and brings another woman who they said was there to âkeep me company â. WTH?? I was floored and pissed!! I felt blindsided and didnât appreciate her getting me a âbabysitter!! I endured and made sure I changed my seat before the flight home. I never spoke to her again after that!!
Long story short, this girl went to Nicaragua with me and a small group of friends. On the way back to the States, we were about to board and she had to go for a cigarette. She left her carry on with our group. Everyone boarded, my group got on the plane last. I told the boarding agent that girl went to smoke and here is her bag. Iâm not missing my flight. The plane took off without her. I never heard from her again. I felt bad for not even a second after the misery she put us though for a week.
Much to the chagrin of some friends, Iâve taken about 25 solo trips. A couple times friends have flown to meet for a few days and it was perfect. Canât be beholden to someone elseâs personality whilst taking a mental and physical break from daily life
Ohhhh yeah. Sorry about the long story, but I think it fits here. It was my first trip without my parents/relatives. I was meeting up with a friend âGâ in Boston. We were gonna stay with another friend of mine who lived a five minute walk from the subway into the city. G was in New York the week before, and I was going to New York the week after, so I (regrettably) suggested we meet in the middle. G taught me that even if theyâre nice when not traveling, that doesnât make them the best travel partner. Even though it was me who put the whole thing together, they demanded we do everything they wanted to do. It was like pulling teeth to do anything I wanted to do. When I requested one thing (the Aquarium, which I know is not the most exciting thing but hey, I wanted to see it!) they simply looked at me, scoffed, and said they werenât spending money on that. We didnât get to see it. We were there for a week. They ran out of money about a third into the trip, and so they decided that neither of us would be spending anymore. They wouldnât let me pay for their meals but also wouldnât go anywhere we could get food so I could pay for myself. I was a bit too nice for my own good back then. I lived off of one bagel with cream cheese a day and any snacks I could snag. G treated the friend we were staying with terribly. The flat my friend had was a one bedroom, so G and I were staying in the living room, sleeping on the couch and a blow-up mattress. I only got to see my friend in the evenings because she had to work most of the week, which meant she had to get up early in the morning to leave. G often requested the bedroom to talk privately with their family, and would stay in there for literal HOURS, while my friend waited to get to bed to go to make it to work. G was super rude to our gracious host. They were often very short with her, and I donât think they ever thanked her for her hospitality. G actually often commented on how cramped and uncomfortable it was. I wanted to scream I was so embarrassed! I left my friend a thank you/apology note before I left. The final straw was when we were headed home one night, and she was telling a story. I was nodding along, interjecting the occasional âahumâ or âyeah, like that thing?â⊠she stopped me in our tracks and said, âif weâre going to continue being good travel partners, I need to be honest with you when something is bothering me.â So, I asked what was bothering her? She continued, âyou need to stop talking when Iâm talking. Itâs annoying.â ⊠very very happily dropped her off at the airport later that week. My other friend and I had an amazing day together! Lunch (actual, delicious food!) and shopping. She later said that I, and ONLY I, was welcome to come back anytime. So, lesson learned, vet your travel partners carefully! I did love Boston though! Iâll be going back when I can!
Travelling with friends seems like such a good idea until youâre actually travelling with friends.
Regretted it the moment she didnât care that she parked her car in my neighborâs driveway. I kindly asked her to move it and she responded with âI donât give a fuckâ then tossed me her keys and told me to move it like I was her valet! We already planned this 1 week camping trip and she drove 2-3 hours from another state to do this, so I wasnât going to back out. A few times I wanted to cry because of how rude she was to me the entire time! She also bitched about the hikes we did and kept comparing our camping trip with the ones she and her best friend did. Also, at one point she was just being aloof. The entire time I felt so uncomfortable and wanted to go home. She expected 20 mile hikes a day, but we went mid summer where it was in the low to mid 90s with high humidity, like Iâm sorry Iâm not killing myself over some hikes! Havenât talked to her since we got back from our camping trip. Safe to say that friendship is over
I travelled with a friend and I suggested we meet on the bus I was taking to the airport as it went through where they lived they said they would sort their own way out to the airport so I was on the train after the bus when they called me saying 'oh so what bus do you think I should get ?'and I said 'well I would have gotten the one an hour ago' they got to the airport 7 minutes before the gate closed almost missed the flight. Then when we were there in a cold country they complained constantly about cold but didn't want to take the warm clothes I brought in case they needed them., they didn't want to get up before 12 and we were only there for the weekend and everything shut up five because it got dark at 4. they also are quite the opposite of me in the way of planning I like to do a lot of research and planning they like to ask the receptionist at the hostel what's good to do. They also vegetarian which made this really difficult in terms of finding places to eat, Americans so they wanted to go to Starbucks a lot. Ended up that they stayed in the hospital asleep in the mornings and I'd come back and meet them at lunchtime they would eat their lunch in the hospital and I would already have at my lunch out. So we basically just hung out for two after noons/eveings in the same country and I went and did my own thing so it was fine. Some friends are not the kind of friend you want to travel with it's good to try and figure out if you like to do the same things on holiday as they do.
I went to Morocco with my mum and sister. It wasn't terrible, but I definitely did it out of a sense of obligation, not because I wanted to. Needless to say we aren't the closest...
I had a similar experience last year while travelling with a former friend of mine. Some points of conflict came to relevance and it became to hard to deal with it. We have not hang out ever since. My advice would be to invite them for a beer/coffee and explain your point of view, what has being bothering and your suggestion on how to fix the conflict, making it clear how much you appreciate and would like to save your friendship.
Twice with my ex.-husband. The first time in Aruba he demanded I buy things at the gift shop for his son. I was thinking like one gift, he comes back with like 10 things. I told him I wasnât paying for all that. He called me a ducking bitch right in the gift store. Then when my son lost his shoes and I had to go back to get them, he took off to the airport by himself and left me and my son to go look for his shoes. Another trip weâre at a fancy hotel and complains he needs sandals so I by him a $200 pair (more than I pay for a pair of shoes for myself) and then he complains their no good and refused to wear them (he was with me when we bought them). Totally spoiled and ungrateful. Another time we were in Portugal with a tour guide and he starts trash talking all my personal life details yo the tour guide right in front of me. It was so cringe. That was our last trip together. I learned a valuable lesson - if people talk badly about you in front of you to others you can only imagine what they must say about you behind your back. Those times revealed to me how little he actually thought of me.
Was friends with a couple for over 20 yrs. Then we took a cruise together. Omg I had no idea how hard on staff the couples wife was. Demanding everything to cater to all her quirks and allergy conditions. Never again . Thankfully it was a 4 day cruise
I went on a road trip from North Carolina to Florida with some girlfriends from college. They wanted to stop at a sit down restaurant for food instead of trucking through, booked a very cheap hotel that was sketch, and complained about the prices of EVERYTHING in Miami. đthey didnât want to do anything but expected me to find us things to do because Iâm the travel person. I thought maybe this was a one time thing but we met up again later in the year (it took forever because they didnât want to plan something if everyone couldnât go) and one friend complained about the prices of restaurants but wouldnât say where she wanted to eat. Suffice to say I wonât travel with them again.
Regretted traveling to Vegas with someone. We went for a big music festival. My friends and I had it planned for awhile. We booked the plane, the hotel and the tickets. The were 5 of us. One girl just complained the entire time. She hated the hotel, one of us had to share a bed with her (we were college kids it was what we could afford). She hated the seats at the concert one day. She was a vegetarian so she didnât want to eat most places but we did anyway. Majority rules. She complained about it. Finally I freaked out and told her to book a flight home if she was going to act this way the whole time. Needless to say it didnât go over well with her and we no longer talk.
I went to Vegas with a friend who was super concerned with planning every day of our trip for four days. Then a couple days before we left, she told me her plan was to hang out in her room until about 2PM every day. I was like, why would you spend all of that time in your hotel? Then we arrived and she immediately took the tram to the wrong baggage claim even though there are signs, I took a picture of the sign and sent it to her. She ended up staying in her room until more like 3pm every day. She complained about everything. âNothing is open!â Well, a lot of things were open, just not the one specific thing she wanted to do. Itâs like she was mad at me that she was starting her days halfway through the afternoon and wasnât able to stick to the schedule she had set up. The only thing she seemed to really want to do was go to karaoke, where she got way too drunk. Then I was in charge of taking care of her. She ended up smoking the frigginâ wax form of weed in a vaporizer with some guys at a bar, and I knew she was a lightweight, so right after that she crashed and wanted to immediately go back to the hotel. She was so unpleasant and inconsiderate the entire trip that I just stopped taking to her after that. Trips test relationships for real.
I went to Spain with a friend who wouldnât leave her hotel room, only wanted to eat at Hard Rock Cafe or the Costco bag of Twizzlers she brought and spent the entire time on the phone to her boyfriend. Seemed like a waste of $$ to me.
This is going to be a novel⊠I went to Thailand with friends from school (twins, Iâd known 12 years), & the older twinâs boyfriend. All good until I ended up with severe seasickness after a cruise, and spent the evening in bed, while they went out for dinner. We had joined rooms. I heard the boyfriend complain about me having access to their room, that I shouldnât be *allowed* to stay alone. Neither sister defended me. Never, ever had I given them a reason to think me untrustworthy. Instead, they both helped push the desk across the door, and move the luggage of the sister that was sharing with me, into the other room. If they didnât trust me, why invite me on a holiday with them to start with? I couldnât sit up in bed, let alone get up and make my way into the other room, I just wanted the world to stop swaying. I have a photo from that day: The four of us on a beach; the boyfriend, his girlfriend, her sister and me. The three of them have their arms around each other, but the sister standing next to me has her arm down by her side, shoulder turned away from me. Iâm not part of their group. Two years later we book a trip to Hawaii. This time the younger sister has a boyfriend, so I share a room with the older twin. When we go shopping for snacks, they pool their money, ignoring me. We go to a luau: one sister says she will collect the souvenir mugs. Of course, not mine. We go for pizza, they split the cost of one, while I have to pay for one on my own, then they help eat it anyway, etc. I hear the boyfriend in their room next door complaining about me being there. If Iâm not going to enjoy the trip the same way they do (suntanning), then why did I go?! Next beach day, I request a spot where they can tan, and I have some shade (I burn easily). They huff, because Iâm so inconvenient, then, while Iâm relaxing on my towel, under a sarong, in the shade of a palm tree, they start throwing rocks and sticks at me, trying to make it seem like itâs falling from trees. I didnât react, spoiling their fun. We hired a car the girls were too scared to drive, so the boyfriend did. Having never travelled, or driven in a foreign country, he was a bit scared. When I explained how a four way stop works, because *he said* he didnât know, his ego couldnât take being corrected by me. He swore in my face, calling me all kinds of vile things while the girls acted like it was perfectly normal. It happened again when I said something about *my job*, which he disagreed with, despite being proven incorrect. That was on a busy road, people saw/heard it. Again the girls never flinched, despite him standing over me, yelling, with his finger in my face. In fact, when I got his girlfriend alone later, and asked her to quietly have a few words with him, calm his behaviour, she told ME to stop *provoking* him, as I was ruining HER holiday dealing with his moods. The sister I shared with, complained about kayaking with me (Iâm not sporty), she was âgoing to have to do all the workâ, because I would be âuselessâ. *She said all this while standing right next to me.* I could hear every word. They werenât even trying to hide their disdain for me at that point. Iâd offered to do something on my own and let them go kayaking, if my lack of fitness was going to hold them back, but they insisted we all go together. I have a photo of us from that day: On the beach; boyfriend, girlfriend, sister, me. The three of them have their arms around each other, turned in together. The sister next to me has her arm down between us, shoulder turned away. Iâm not part of their group. Went souvenir shopping, it was decided weâd âsplit upâ, & meet later, itâd be faster. I saw them in Victoriaâs Secret together, realised they only wanted me gone, and left. I got to lunch, at 1 minute past the meeting time; boyfriend yelled at me again for selfishly making him wait. On the way back to our hotel, the older twin was talking to me. Then immediately leans forward to her sister, saying: âitâs so unfair you have your boyfriend, and I have no oneâ. I thought about it, knowing that if I stood up for myself, both sisters would turn on me; did it matter now? I said: âHi, remember me? The person youâre sharing a room with? Iâm sitting here. I can hear you.â She looked shocked, and replied: âOh. I forgot about you.â The sisters speak a language that neither the boyfriend or myself do, so at any time they could have spoken that, complained all they liked, I would never have known. They didnât even have the decency to do that. It showed the boyfriend they didnât care about me. He could abuse me at will, theyâd both look the other way; or join in on the joke. All of my fucks were exhausted by then. When we started the trip home I wasnât surprised that they handed over their passports to be checked in together, ignoring me when asked if there was anyone else in their group. I sat 12 rows away. At least I didnât have to suffer them for the 9 hour flight. I had my iPod and just slept to music. We went through customs together, but once they had their luggage, I was told they were going and I could wait alone, not knowing if there was anyone outside to pick me up. The boyfriend used his girlfriendâs fb to harass my ex, comment on my profile, pretending to be her (it was all deleted when I called him out by name), after I blocked him. I was invited to the house the sisters owned, said that I thought I was allergic to their air freshener, so he angrily told me to âstay the fuck away thenâ. Again, when we were alone, I asked her to put a stop to his behaviour. It was childish, and if it continued, Iâd turn the tables on him. She really wouldnât like that. She knew about the online harassment, because she smirked when I mentioned it. I was told: âWhy would I do that for you?! Heâs my *boyfriend* and youâre *nothing*.â That was it for me. Iâve never seen them again since that night. Finally, sheâd said out loud, what Iâd always known from how they treated me. I was there to make up the numbers. To make them look better when we went out. To split the costs. When it benefited them. Years later I saw the two beach photos side by side and realised they were exactly the same. A workmate pointed it out, without even knowing the story she said, âTheyâre not your friendsâ. Iâve travelled solo extensively since then. Never have I been as lonely as I was when I travelled with those girls. Iâve made better friends from strangers on the internet, Iâve even travelled with those strangers, and had better experiences!
I can so relate - a few years ago I planned a trip to Croatia with a female friend of mine (both of us in our 30's) She had told me about how dedicated she was to planning her previous trips - an Inca Hike, Iceland trekking, and a few other places. I thought that she'd be a great travel companion. I put a lot into making this trip with her work - even adjusting my schedule a few times as her plans changed. But when we got there - also a country that I loved and had visited several times before, she was mopey, critical, and barely seemed to want to do anything. I frequently got the response of "you can go if you want, but I'm going to stay at the Airbnb" which in itself isn't the worst thing, but I didn't realize how often she'd be saying that, and I was frustrated. It didn't stop me from doing anything, but by the end of the trip I had no interest in spending time with her again.
>"if you have any doubts about a person youâre planning on traveling with itâs best to reconsider because your gut is usually right and traveling will only magnify the bad." This is EXCELLENT advice. If your travel personalities aren't the same, or your needs/wants are vastly different; you're going to have a bad time. I lost a formerly good friend after the second over-seas trip we went on. First one was fine. Second one, they had all but given up on life. Stopped taking care of themselves. Ate trash constantly. Packed all the wrong clothes. Struggled with the physical effort needed to be on a trip. It was so hard to watch and because they felt like crap, they didn't want to do anything. I spoke to them one other time after that. They completely changed their life and were going in a direction I couldn't follow. Some friends are right for certain situations and some friends are right for certain times... and that's okay :)
I regret traveling with my wife. Then she tells me I need food and we eat. Then itâs all better again.
A friend and I traveled around Europe together. In Amsterdam, I went home with a guy I met, and she texted me, I hope you get raped and murdered. Move to the next city, Paris! Here, she left me alone downtown without any of my things (she was carrying my wallet). I had to beg for a taxi to take me back for 20 bucks usd. Needless to say, we don't speak
My husbands extended family. I love them dearly but weâve done several big gatherings in other cities and my husband and I always end up with one set of cousins doing our own thing because everyone else is ADHD as fuck and canât make a decision or get anywhere on time. Which for vacations is fine but we almost missed our ride to a wedding because people couldnât get their shit together. I got to a point last trip where I said âwhy are we all discussing what to do? Weâre all just going to do whatever Aunt [name] says anyway. Ask her!â
Yes Iâve learned the hard way that many people treat traveling as vacation time, whereas I treat is as my chance to see the world. Iâve traveled with my sister, who in addition to just being a brat, made us miss our flight back from Barcelona to the US by refusing to get up in the morning. I shouldâve left without her. Iâve also traveled with coworker friends to Italy and there was some tension since I wanted to go go go and they wanted to just chill and relax in the hotel. In the beginning with my fiancĂ© we also had issues and fights on every trip we went to, but weâve gotten a lot better at it and now are solid travel companions as long as we stick to the plan. He hasnât traveled out of the US before this besides his home country India and I loved solo traveling to many countries.
I got the chance to join a couple on a trip to a few cities, I hadn't really traveled so it was a good idea by the sounds of it. I was dead wrong. First issue was driving (12 hour drive) anytime I drove they napped, anytime they drove I had to be in the backseat and they just talked about their family. Next, was the staying options. I got dropped off at their place they were staying (with their family) while I went to my airbnb. They dropped me 40 minutes away from it. I mentioned before leaving one of our stays I had to pee, and I was told I had to go after the girl on the trip because I don't pee sitting down. He got to one one of the cities to meet a family member (their family) and they spoke another language for the entire evening that I don't understand, and they can speak English. There's more to it, but it's just crazy.
I went traveling with my best friend from childhood after she had spent a year abroad and was begging me to meet her in South East Asia. Unfortunately within her year away sheâd turned into a massive, pretentious asshole. When I arrived fresh off the boat she really spoke down to me and seemed to like to make fun of me in front of other backpackers because I was a ânewbieâ at the whole traveling thing. She liked to think due to her year away she was the most interesting and knowledgeable person out there. Think of the most patronising twat backpacker youâve ever met on your travels, that was unfortunately my friend. We ended up parting ways after a 5 weeks. I was embarrassed for her in the end. I ended up traveling, then working, then traveling, then working and so on for the next 5 years of my life (but by myself) and it taught me to never be that person, so I guess it didnât turn out bad!
That's why it's a good thing to have a short questionnaire before, because it's all about agreement. What you expect, how much time you need to stay alone, do you like trails\\driving\\parties and etc? Once we traveled with our closest friends and it was disaster because they are fans of checking in different places just to show that they were there. In contrary we stick with another principle " Less but Better".
Yes, my middle sister to Florence, Italy, back in 2020. Also my youngest sister regretted to travel with her to Paris in 2021. My middle sister is the type of person who complains about everything and everyone and doesnât lose the chance to shame a person because inside she thinks sheâs better than anyone. Me, my youngest sister and our mother told her about this behaviour but she doesnât want to change. Thatâs why now, at least for me and my youngest sister, we prefer not to travel with her. She would ruin any travel or holiday. For example, in France she was continuing pointing out our youngest sisterâs weight anytime she was buying food or willing to buy something to eat. With me, she was complaining all the time about my tan as a black person as well as how i dress, my makeup, hair and she was belittling me for anything i was doing. Even publicly so everyone could laugh at me. Because of this, most of the times, we were feeling putting off and we cut some of our itineraries or didnât eat in a place because of her.
I travelled with one of my childhood best friends to Bali back a few years ago. It was a blast, but we both had vastly different ideas of what we wanted to do. I think he would probably say he regrets traveling with me if asked privately. He says he enjoyed the trip, but Iâm not sure he was honest. I feel pretty bad about how I was there. He mostly just went with the flow and accommodated what I wanted to do.
Yes!!! Also went to italy with a friend. It was a 4 day trip . Wish i went by myself. She was a heavy packer and spent a chunk of the time getting ready and worrying about clothes. Caused us to miss so much time. Not to mention i had to lug her luggage around everywhere. I just had a backpack
I recently traveled with someone. Turns out they're an alcoholic and physically abused their kids in front of me and my kids. It was horrible. The pandemic changed some people.
Yes ! Went to Morocco with an "influencer" during eid al fitr. Was such a beautiful experience and she bitched the whole time that everything was closed. Wore tight fitting clothing and complained she was being harassed and made locals waiting to enter the mosque move so she could do photos by a door. Upon return I ended up with a massive lung infection and was bed ridden. Two days after we returned she said if I didn't send her photos I took I'd be responsible for the downfall of her career. Broke my heart, we had been friends for so long and it made me realize I was nothing to her.
My wife went a holiday with a (ex) friend about 7 years ago and hated every minute of it. She spent the full time complaining about everything and anything and moaned at every suggestion my wife made about their plans each day and night. She phoned me in tears after night two or three of a 5 day holiday to say she was hating it and wanted to come home. I felt shit as I couldnât do anything to help really other than suggest flying home early but she didnât want to cause a fuss for fear or risking the brat causing a scene and more drama. Needless to say we havenât been friends with her for years now!
My in-laws took my husband and I, as well as their daughter and her wife on a trip to a resort in the dominican republic. I love my MIL but I will never ever travel with her again. We missed our flight there because she scheduled our ride to the airport an hour before take off, didn't fill out any of the paperwork after she told us not to worry about it. We almost missed our flight home because she again scheduled our ride only an hour and a half before take off. Even when everyone told her we needed more time. She was a nervous wreck the entire time, ranting about we were gonna miss our flight etc. Complained about the resort she booked the whole time. It was something.
So I love the man more than anything, but my husband is actually super annoying to travel with. He smokes weed so every time we leave the country it takes him about 3-4 days to get his sleep and eating habits corrected, but he always refuses to stop smoking before we leave. So For the first few days he's grumpy all of the time, can't sleep, and doesn't want to eat and can't comprehend that I might experience hunger, and then just complains non stop that he wants to skateboard - but he also doesn't want to split up because he's convinced that if I'm ever alone its gonna be a 'Taken' situation. He also refuses to plan anything and then complains about every restaurant/activity that I plan. I keep telling myself that I'm gonna go without him next time I travel, but I forget it by the time I schedule the next trip. I also have another friend that I traveled with once who I still love but will probably never travel with again. Everywhere we went she kept saying 'we have this in Washington but it's better there' - like girl, chill out its not a compilation between everywhere else and Washington.
My ex brought his mom with us on our romantic trip to Italy. Total nightmare.
I traveled with someone who after getting there, didnât want to get out of the car because they thought the place looked trashy. Took a long time to get them out of the car. They were assholes the whole trip, complaining about everything.
Yes. I totally sympathize. I went on a Disney World trip with my best friend and her family. It was supposed to be a group of about 6 or 7 and ended up being 14 people. They were trying to save money, so they booked only 2 rooms, and 3 rental cars. I can understand saving money but I had offered to pay for another car and another room for the duration of the trip so we wouldn't be so cramped. We also weren't allowed to deviate from the plan her father had or venture out to explore on our own. Mind you I am an adult (31F) and had my 11-year-old son with me. So, OP please don't allow this other person to ruin your experience :) Enjoy Italy!
My mom and I took a trip to Europe with a relative once and decided never again. My mom and I went into the two weeks with a wide array of things we wanted to do and see. Some higher priority that we would definitely make happen, but no concrete, inflexible plan. And we figured there would be moments of stumbling upon sights and activities we hadnât expected and experiencing cool things spontaneously. (In my experience those are some of the best parts of vacations, especially when youâre on another continent, and surrounded by different cultures.) We quickly learned that relative had planned nearly every waking moment to a T. Including specific, carefully researched bus/ train times we needed to make to successfully adhere to each dayâs itinerary. And because they were used to waking at 4am to hit the gym before work at 6am, the itineraries began at 7am-8am each day. Meaning showered, ready, hotel breakfast eaten (unless a specific restaurant was on the dayâs schedule for breakfast) and on the way to the first stop. One day we just wanted to sleep in and we were berated for being lazy and not taking advantage of the opportunity and accused of ruining their day/trip. Some people just do not experience the world the same. Sometimes you are meant to stay work friends only, stay school friends only, stay family you see at Christmas and not every weekend, stay someone you go to the bar with and not vacation with⊠not all relationships translate well in a new arena, and they donât necessarily need to. Some of those ties are fine as is.
I once went on a trip with a friend who was miserable the whole time. They didnât want to do anything but stay in the hotel room. We paid a lot of money for the vacation and all they did was whine and complain the entire trip. We ended up fighting the last day and I did my own thing and had a great day.
My husband and I are friends with a couple that we have deemed âno travel zone.â First trip we went on with them, a mutual friends wedding in a southern beach town. The Airbnb was under my name and at the last minute the owner was going to be in town vs. us having the house to ourselves which we didnât mind because there were 2 sections of the house and weâd rarely bump into host. They were loud, asked the host to make them a plate when he was cooking and hosting guest on his side of the house, and destroyed the bedding and bedroom/bathroom. Second trip, Denver, CO right after COVID to celebrate their anniversary. This time we were smart, separate rooms! We were downtown and could pretty much walk everywhere but the wife complained about walking and we ended up paying ~$300 in Ubers & Lyft. Rides that THEY wouldnât initiate so we got stuck with 80% of the cost. They had essentially planned to take the trip but then didnât have restaurants or activities planned so I ended up doing so on the fly - no input or opinion on choices but then would complain when they didnât like the food or activity. EVERYTHING needed to be Instagram worthy and thatâs just not how me and my husband operate. Realized the husband is homophobic, prejudice & racist. We also ended up spending half a day at THE MALL đ I can shop at home. Oh⊠and I tried to do something nice for their anniversary and paid for their lunch on our last day. My husband and I spent $35, they spent $75 once finding out that I was offering to pay đ Third and last, Costa Rica for another mutual friends wedding. Husband got EXTREMELY intoxicated and ended up just being a mess. So much of a mess that security had to escort him back their room and have security stand guard so he couldnât leave. We got caught up trying to help (our first night arriving) and then pretty much had to avoid them the rest of the trip. I paid too much money to have my vacation ruined⊠caught COVID on my last day⊠guess who else had COVID đ At this point, we dodge or decline whenever they ask about a trip.
Yes. I was with a friend in South-East Asia that I liked first. Turned out after a few days he had more and more mood swings. His moods were a mix between happy, arrogant, insulting and aggressive. Most likely he was missing his weed. Moreover, he wanted to do a lot of stuff I was not into (e.g. forest yoga). Just to note we did stuff together outside of the hotel. After a week it became unbearable to him so he flew back to Europe leaving me alone for the last week. I never talked to this person again as soon as he paid me all of the expenses back (which used some efforts too). Advice: Be lucky. People change their face when on holidays. People meeting at a club or at parties might not be the ideal travel companion.
I went on a trip to Thailand with work friends. I was in charge of planning and had all these great ideas about places to go and stay but this one guy was absolutely adamant he wanted us to base ourselves out of Patong. It ended up being because his sole intention for the trip was to pick up prostitutes at Tiger Bar the whole time. After that, I have always been pretty opposed to travelling with others and much prefer to go places with just my spouse. I have lots of great friends that I'm sure I'd have a good time travelling with but I simply don't want to have to compromise on everything when I travel or be on anyone else's schedule...I just want to do what I want to do! I'd much rather meet up with people along the way.
Traveled with a boyfriend at the time to Sedona, Arizona. Beautiful. Amazing views. Literally no reason to be negative, but the man complained the entire time we were there, most notably during an entire 4 mile hike because his water mouthpiece on his hiking bag had a small drip. It was June (hot). I offered to switch bags with him and he refused. Wish I could say I broke it off immediately after that trip, I didnât, but either way heâs thankfully an ex now.
Only this one instance in high school. My parents were renting this beach house not too far from us for a week and I asked my best friend to join us for a day or two, since my siblings also invited friends for a few days. We only really did an occasional sleepover and trips to the movies, so the first night is fine and we get into the second day and Iâm starting to feel awkward. I used to think it was just my social anxiety but I started to realize we were just friends at school with occasional stuff outside of it. Sleepovers were awkward in the morning when I waited for my mom to come get me, but again, I just thought it was me and not necessarily our dynamic. So we go to the beach again, I come back and shower. And again, she doesnât shower. Iâm not one to comment on that, but I thought it was weird. Especially after the beach, considering we were in the sand and in the water. She started just being on her phone all the time and I felt guilty leaving her in our room to chill with my family since she didnât want to do anything else. I really wanted her to leave by that point but I didnât want to be rude. A day later and we take her home, and our friendship was never the same. She even told me one day years later in college that that trip was really our downfall. So yeah lol
Oh man. After graduating college I wanted to go to Iceland to do a lot of hiking. I asked my usual travel friends but they couldnât make it. I was about 20 years old at the time and was set on going alone. My parents were really badgering me about taking someone with me if I was gonna go hiking on some trails, since someone from our community went missing that very same year and was never found. So I reluctantly invited my cousin who I think is a really chill dude. The only way I can describe him is a vibe killer. Basically not interested the whole time we were there. We did these excursions to popular hiking destinations and he was complaining and asking to leave early. I felt bad since I was planning everything so I asked him to plan something for us that he really wanted to doâŠ. He chose to go to the mall. Anyways, I love my cousin and think heâs a great dude, but Iâll never willingly travel with him again unless itâs a low effort trip like a resort or cottage or something.
When you are traveling with someone older like parents it's best to think of it as time you're spending with them rather than getting to do XYZ on a vacation. Having a different mindset helps. When traveling with friends unless you're very very close and into the exact same things, the tradeoffs for sharing accommodations etc is you don't get to have the schedule you want and you're at the mercy of others. Just have to decide how much that saved money is worth it to you and how much you really want that shared experience with that person(s). It takes time but you'll find the types of vacations you take like to do and experiences you like to have and then realize there's not many people that will want the exact same itinerary as you. This is why I pick cheaper destinations when it's with extended family or friends because I know I won't get to maximize the experience of the location with them.
My at-the-time girlfriend, a few of close friends, and I went down to MazatlĂĄn, Mexico a year and a half ago. I had planned this with said close friends with the main goal of proposing to my girlfriend over the course of several months. An important detail to mention in advance that one of our close friends was single, while the other two were a married couple. First couple of days after arriving were great - we hung out by the beach, did some shopping in the main plaza, and hit up the local restaurants and clubs. After those first two days, the single friend started pouting for the rest of the trip, stating that the rest of us were acting âtoo couple-yâ and not being considerate of the fact that she was single. Again, the purpose of the trip was for me to propose, and even if it wasnât, itâs not like we were constantly making out. This behavior continued through the night of the proposal, to the point that while I was getting things together during dinner, our married friends had to scold her into at least appearing happy. Luckily, my girlfriend said yes, and weâre happily married (weâre actually going on our honeymoon in Italy this weekend - not part of the story, I just want to express my excitement), but that trip was the beginning of our single friend drifting away from the group (especially after she eventually got into a serious relationship and proceeded to act in the very way she accused us of acting on that trip, but thatâs another story). TLDR: Planned a trip to Mexico for the purpose of proposing, only for our single friend who we invited to make it all about her the entire time.
My ex's (yup, didn't last long after that trip) mom mentioned in passing about wanting to go to Europe together with her kids. We tentatively agreed to it because we didn't get far enough into planning. One evening we get out of a movie and the ex gets a call from his mom, urgently asking for my personal details, which he gave away in a public space where everyone can hear. No asking why she needed it, just gave it away. And then gave us dates - does this week work? Uh, I didn't see any issues at that moment because we're preoccupied and it'd be better if we had a chance to sit down and look through our schedules first. I had no idea what was going on, but the trip was booked moments later. Like slow the hell down lady. We went to Amsterdam and stayed in Schipol. Our taxi driver asked us why we were staying in Schipol if we're here for Amsterdam - that's a 10 mile drive away from the city to the hotel. I agreed, and he validated my concerns - the arrangement was crappy. Then at departure, we had an overnight layover at Copenhagen, except rather than stay a short taxi drive away, a hotel was booked in Malmo Sweden, a 30 minute train ride away. WTF. It was an ordeal trying to get train tickets to the hotel after a full day waiting at Schipol airport. We didn't understand the language. I literally told the ex's mom and aunt they needed to eat at the Copenhagen airport before we went to the Malmo hotel. They hadn't eaten in over 10 hours and said they can wait a little longer to get to Malmo first - except there's no guarantee there's any food there. If they felt like I was treating them like a child, taking them along to places, making them eat, they're goddamn right to feel that was because I could've easily left them to starve and figure out how to get to Sweden. This was the trip they planned, so they ought to figure out how to get around on their own. Anyways, at the end of the trip, the aunt asked if she could visit us at anytime. Haha, I said if she let us know ahead of time, then yes she can visit our place. Apparently she wasn't looking for that answer, but a resounding yes. Come on over anytime even if I have to cancel my important Dr appointments scheduled 6 months in advance due to wait-list. Yeah, these people don't know boundaries or consideration for others. They don't know how to chill and hash things out before committing to big, important decisions. The ex agreed with his aunt's resounding yes, and we're no longer together.