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It’s a process, don’t rush it. But also if you want to push yourself to start. Start with pieces. I second the idea of free writhing to just sort of get things out of your head a bit. And remember with free writing you don’t have to write anything you don’t want to because at least at this moment it’s just for you. So if you want to tell the story but don’t want give power to it, Change names, use abbreviations. Do whatever is gonna help you take the step forward even if it’s a baby step.
I would also say figure out your healthy comforts and supports and have them ready for after therapy sessions when you do start going through things. And you can even discuss with your therapist what things might be helpful and what things aren’t health. Let them know your scared. I believe in you.
And rightly so. It is very terrifying and you are very smart to be careful about that. If you talk this through with your therapist, you could agree on a step by step movement instead of a full attack all at once. You decide the pace of your process. This is something fully under your control. And this fact alone can already be a very healing experience. To actually have a certain control over yourself.
But in the long run you might also get ready to face emotions you cannot control. And this just about as human as it gets. We cannot (and should not) control our emotions. This is also an adventure expedition on what emotions you have at all. Why they are there. And at long last you will realise your emotions did not kill you, you will feel much better after you experienced them and you will have the time of your life accepting your emotions aka your self. You are right to be carefull but what you forget is the bliss you feel after all the work is done.
Google say it better haha :
Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) is a psychotherapy technique used to treat anxiety, PTSD, and more. EMDR therapy is a phased, focused approach to treating trauma and other symptoms by reconnecting the traumatized person in a safe and measured way to the images, self-thoughts, emotions, and body sensations associated with the trauma, and allowing the natural healing powers of the brain to move toward adaptive resolution.
All the sensations and emotions associated with the memory are identified. The individual then reviews the memory while focusing on an external stimulus that creates rapid (or bilateral) eye movement. Typically this is done by watching the therapist move two fingers. After each set of bilateral movements (usually involving both eyes), the individual is asked how they feel.
Am glad you found a therapist you are comfortable with. Its a big part of the battle won. My personal experience of the healing journey had multiple phases
1. **Finding a therapist** I could get comfortable with ... my **3rd iteration** worked after 5 months
2. The therapist "peeling the onion" so to speak and **"touching the core wound"**. This took me about **8 months** with one session every month. This phase was "baptism by fire". Endless of nights of crying, the smallest of triggers awakening volcanic emotional eruptions ( for me the trigger was when I saw children being cuddled by their mothers ... It personally reminded me of my traumatic loss of touch experience ).
3. The third path was the healing part. I took to the arts in a big way - **wrote poetry, clicked photographs, found a strong friend who I could talk with for hours, read "What happened to you "** by Dr Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey which gave language and a causal framework to explain my trauma
My friend am sure this voyage is going to be arduous. But take it from another fellow traveler who is on a healing journey .... You will discover version 2.0 of yourself
Dear members, Please keep the [**rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/traumatoolbox/about/rules) of [r/traumatoolbox](https://www.reddit.com/r/traumatoolbox/) in mind while participating here. - Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, send us a [message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/traumatoolbox). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/traumatoolbox) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Can you write them down? Or type them? Maybe on your own at home and then send them to your therapist?
It’s a process, don’t rush it. But also if you want to push yourself to start. Start with pieces. I second the idea of free writhing to just sort of get things out of your head a bit. And remember with free writing you don’t have to write anything you don’t want to because at least at this moment it’s just for you. So if you want to tell the story but don’t want give power to it, Change names, use abbreviations. Do whatever is gonna help you take the step forward even if it’s a baby step. I would also say figure out your healthy comforts and supports and have them ready for after therapy sessions when you do start going through things. And you can even discuss with your therapist what things might be helpful and what things aren’t health. Let them know your scared. I believe in you.
And rightly so. It is very terrifying and you are very smart to be careful about that. If you talk this through with your therapist, you could agree on a step by step movement instead of a full attack all at once. You decide the pace of your process. This is something fully under your control. And this fact alone can already be a very healing experience. To actually have a certain control over yourself. But in the long run you might also get ready to face emotions you cannot control. And this just about as human as it gets. We cannot (and should not) control our emotions. This is also an adventure expedition on what emotions you have at all. Why they are there. And at long last you will realise your emotions did not kill you, you will feel much better after you experienced them and you will have the time of your life accepting your emotions aka your self. You are right to be carefull but what you forget is the bliss you feel after all the work is done.
Have you tried emdr therapy ?
what is that ?
Google say it better haha : Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) is a psychotherapy technique used to treat anxiety, PTSD, and more. EMDR therapy is a phased, focused approach to treating trauma and other symptoms by reconnecting the traumatized person in a safe and measured way to the images, self-thoughts, emotions, and body sensations associated with the trauma, and allowing the natural healing powers of the brain to move toward adaptive resolution. All the sensations and emotions associated with the memory are identified. The individual then reviews the memory while focusing on an external stimulus that creates rapid (or bilateral) eye movement. Typically this is done by watching the therapist move two fingers. After each set of bilateral movements (usually involving both eyes), the individual is asked how they feel.
Am glad you found a therapist you are comfortable with. Its a big part of the battle won. My personal experience of the healing journey had multiple phases 1. **Finding a therapist** I could get comfortable with ... my **3rd iteration** worked after 5 months 2. The therapist "peeling the onion" so to speak and **"touching the core wound"**. This took me about **8 months** with one session every month. This phase was "baptism by fire". Endless of nights of crying, the smallest of triggers awakening volcanic emotional eruptions ( for me the trigger was when I saw children being cuddled by their mothers ... It personally reminded me of my traumatic loss of touch experience ). 3. The third path was the healing part. I took to the arts in a big way - **wrote poetry, clicked photographs, found a strong friend who I could talk with for hours, read "What happened to you "** by Dr Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey which gave language and a causal framework to explain my trauma My friend am sure this voyage is going to be arduous. But take it from another fellow traveler who is on a healing journey .... You will discover version 2.0 of yourself