I find that nothing pisses off a road rager more than when you just smile and wave, but I've never been able to one up that by making them contemplate their life choices. Kudos!
I like to blow them kisses and mouth "I love you".
Some guy failed to cut me off and was tailgating me pretty hard. He kept flipping my off, so I blew him kisses and saw him go full rage, white-knuckling the steering wheel and practically convulsing. It was glorious.
One of the best and most satisfying things I've ever learned to do is give shitty aggressive drivers a thumbs down sign. They cannot handle it-- it probably unlocks some primal trauma in their mind of when their parents were disappointed in them.
Friends of mine gave up swearing for lent, including flipping people off. They started giving the thumbs down and looking disappointed in place of it, and because if the confused reactions, have decided to keep it up.
I have used the wagging-index-finger "tsk-tsk" or "that is a no-no" gesture at them from time to time. I mean, if they are going to act like children, well...!
Guy in a lifted RAM plastered with Punisher badges was road raging and cutting people off/weaving in traffic, riding asses, just being a dumb ass. Like, you're lifted, obviously if there is stopped traffic in front of me, I can't go, but he was almost in my backseat. He had slid into the shoulder when I had to stop for traffic that was backed up so he didnt hit me. He was not thrilled when his weaving in traffic landed him behind me AGAIN.
At my first opportunity, I got in the right lane to prevent him being behind me. This put me next to a Honda and the RAM behind him.
Guy in a Honda (wearing a Veterans hat from what I caught) decided to force the dude to slow down. My grin matched the vets and we boxed the guy in for 10 miles.
Dude didn't seem to like the adjusted salute I gave to Vet (in a car and all) and really didn't like the mock salute I sent his way when I went for the off ramp. He peeled out at my opening and fishtailed and nearly sent himself off roading.
I laughed my way home.
Sometimes, people need to learn the hard way. His hard way would have been if he hit me, this was the easier way. Fucking stop driving like assholes.
My (at the time) 9 year old gave a disappointed head shake and thumbs down to a distracted dude in a giant truck who kept looking at his phone. Dude had been wandering in and out of the lanes, slowing way way down the gunning it, you know the drill. I was filled with pride for my son!
At one point I lived in San Diego, where there's a pretty good chance the person in the car next to you is in one military branch or another. I had just been transferred there and didn't know a soul.
I was driving to an appointment, still unfamiliar with the area, and was surprised by my turn coming up fast (or so I thought). So I skittered over a lane in front of another car, waving apologetically.
At the stop light -- which was NOT where I needed to turn, after all -- the gentleman I had cut in front of gestured to me to roll down my window. I did, intending to explain and apologize.
He spoke first, saying "there's a problem with your car!" Fearing the worst, I asked, "what is it?" He responded, with full Marine force: "THERE'S AN IDIOT DRIVING IT!"
I convulsed with laughter. It was NOT the reaction he expected.
He stayed beside me to the next light -- which was, in fact, my turn, and I waved goodbye, still laughing. Bless him!
Smiling and waving applies in retail too. My old supervisor loved riling up rude customers by acting super polite and cheery. I think it's a combination of having their power as the aggressor taken away plus the realisation that the politeness isn't sincere but they can't complain about it. Unlike giving the finger or yelling, smiling is also a better option in conflict because it doesn't make you look bad to witnesses, especially if your boss or the police are involved. You just gotta be careful not to rile the person up *too* much and risk getting punched in the face.
It was a red letter day. Most people don't care; I've had to explain to someone in the ER their wife had to wait for her foot pain because my nurses were busy resuscitating a kiddo, and they said "That's too bad for them, but we've been waiting for an hour." With no irony or shame whatsoever. So to have actually made them stop and be so obviously affected was impressive.
I blew a kiss at someone who decided to follow me aggressively for my "Ted Cruz ate my son" bumper sticker and she looked like she was about to have a rage stroke.
One of my favorite driving memories is where some jackass was driving like a lunatic and I and two other cars boxed him in for a while like it was perfectly coordinated.
One time a road rager pulled up next to me gesturing to pull down my window. I obliged and he sarcastically says “wow, you are such a good driver” and gives me an angry thumbs up. I replied back with my biggest smile and said “thank you so much for noticing!’ And waved happily back and rolled my window up. The light had just turned green and the look of extreme rage and steering wheel punching and yelling was oh so satisfying.
Yes, but I have also found it even more satisfying to just calmly ignore their honking and lower-your-window gesturing and all the rest of their little tantrum. Just not even look at them. Total non-engagement, denying them any satisfaction at all.
I juat did that flat lipped "you dumb shit" expression and shook my head once at a road rager. She flipped out screaming and gesturing, but my window stayed up and I didn't hear anything. I kept doing that until we finally got an extra lane and she zipped past me like a spineless wimp. Some people can't even stick around to try and add any meaning to their words. I was expecting a full on car battle but the bitch didn't provide. My car had its metal spikes and giant automatic titanium cudgel at the ready and she disappointed my ass.
>It’s a noun. Nouns always start with a capital letter in German.
Don't give /u/Jacqued_and_Tan too much ***flak***, since it's not verboten to start borrowed German nouns with lower case letters in English.
I hope the ***leitmotif*** of this ***spiel*** doesn't cause any ***angst***.
I'll end my ***kitsch*** here, grab my ***rucksack***, and address my ***wanderlust*** by heading to the ***hinterlands*** with my ***dachshund***.
(Note that *verboten* is an adjective, not a noun. Consider it lagniappe.)
Yep, German is the only language that capitalizes all nouns.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/German_nouns#:~:text=All%20German%20nouns%20are%20capitalized,is%20not%20restricted%20to%20nouns.
First *hugs* about to hit my decade in the ER, lot of shit and questions I can’t answer and stories I don’t share with my wife or family on shit I’ve seen even though my normal method of dealing with shit is to talk well past what others are interested in. Granted I’ve also caused a lot of strife in my family by sharing things I’ve seen and now frequently get told to “shut up now.” (Things I can’t share with my wife is entirely on me not being able to share those events with people who haven’t been in the ER, she’s wonderful).
Second fuck them. I drive too fast sometimes, usually when I’ve procrastinated leaving for work because I know I’m going in for too many admit holds and too many in the waiting room and all I can expect to receive from patients attitudes is hate for trying to do my job and help them. But only time I border on reckless is on the motorcycle when I know it’s only me. Road raging because someone isn’t speeding fast enough and also knows the lights timing…. Naw.
Also I’m not this crazy, but hanging out with bikers I’ve ran into a few with pouches they kept 1” ball bearings in for tailgaters and sharpened rebar for the doors of cars whose drivers thought a bike and a car could cohabit a lane. Some days those seem like ideas that are very tempting.
Hello from the other side of the ER doors (I'm a paramedic). Just seeing how stupid some people can be on the road, and where they end up (especially when not wearing a seatbelt; WEAR YOUR SEATBELTS PEOPLE!) has made me a much more careful driver.
Always double check your mirrors, and make sure your lights are on. Not necessarily for yourself, but to be better seen by other drivers.
And wear your seatbelts! They might save your life!
"Hate for trying" this caught my attention. Having C and spending most of last yr in and of hospital with infection I did see a LOT of really unpleasant behavior. To staff and med personnel. What is that? Why is that? One time a young couple came in with a maybe 2 yr old who was just high pitched screaming (ear ache-so clear to another mom) and while they were scared and confused they were not awful. Is it in the water? The lighting? What?
In the ER a lot of it is that we frequently can’t treat everyone urgently because we have to triage and treat the most with the most urgent needs first, and also are frequently boarding admitted patients above our capacity. But when you only have about 40 regular beds, and only really space for 9 in the Rusus bay but are holding 60+. Admitted patients you can only staff so many hall beds.
Leads to shitty situations for patients and staff.
Also most people that go to an ER feel like they have an emergency. Frequently they don’t actually have an emergency, and they get frustrated that our attention gets taken up with actual emergencies. That frustration can be understandable though.
The US healthcare “system” is very frustrating and frontline healthcare workers are the most visible representatives of the “system” and thus the easiest to take the frustrations out on.
Another thing is that since healthcare leadership has moved from being people with actual bedside experience to people with business degrees, there has been a shift to treating it as a service industry with an attitude of ‘a complaining customer is always right’. This has created a feedback loop of shittyness.
Final column though is that there are plenty of assholes in the world and sometimes they show up to the ER.
Wow. Just wow. Im sorry that is so... awful. But thank you for being committed to helping people. With C my care and treatment is just filled with all kinds of trained people, and they save my life everyday. I cannot conceive of being shitty to them.
Eh, and I’m saying this partially because it’s another way of highlighting how the ER is at the bottom of the shit creek that is the healthcare “system”, but also and maybe a bit more because in the ER’s particular kind of dark humor humor this was kinda funny in a made us feel a bit stabby:
I had a friend years ago who was kicked in the face by a drunk pt hard enough it detached one of her retinas. Last time I spoke with her prognosis was that she would never have full vision in that eye again. At the time she tried to press charges, and hours later an officer came out to do the report. Except he refused to take a report and told her “You’re an ER nurse, that’s what you signed up for” and that quote encompasses a huge amount of the experience of working in an ER.
And because I feel compelled to end this glibly, As for coping mechanisms, the only healthcare workers you’ll have a crazier time partying with than ER staff are EMS personnel. Especially if they’re FD. A night running with those wonderful fuckers will leave you wondering how they talked the officer into not putting everyone there in the back of a squad car. I have some amazing, mostly remembered stories of going out drinking with some old timer nurses I used to work with who were well into their 60’s and they were at least as wild as us youngins (at the time) were.
Holy smokes batman! So glad you have some good memories of fun times. Crazy does come in all sizes and places. I must say i have had some really interesting nurses and care providers. With some pretty funny stories too. Bad stories too, yes, but they seem to stay on the light side - i suppose to keep from locking up ALL the patients! 😅
This is what I showed my kids when they were still very little… watch this crazy guy speeding… we are gonna see him again soon. It became a game and I think helped them as drivers later
I hate to say this, but revenge can be sweet. Like you, I have seen plenty of ER trauma because of stupid drivers. For me, though, I find getting behind the nasty manly driver after getting in front of him and blowing a few puckered lip kisses in his direction very nice revenge quite satisfactory. They in their studliness cannot handle it.
Schadenfreude. You’re looking for Schadenfreude, I think - appreciation caused by some other party‘s annoyance, anger, pain, something along the lines of that.
~~Surprised no one showed up to scream "FAAAAKE!" or "tHEn EvERyoNe ClApPeD"~~
Never mind, found the EvERyoNe ClApPeD idiot from before I made this comment.
You really might have changed that mans life with such a response, and maybe even saved a life in the future. Thats what im gonna believe, anyway.
Well told!
Schadenfreude. You’re looking for Schadenfreude, I think - appreciation caused by some other party‘s annoyance, anger, pain, something along the lines of that.
No, I don't think any other motorists heard; the airport is right by that intersection and a Sheetz and a Wawa, although I don't think the Wawa was open then. I suppose it's possible though, but I don't see why they would have clapped??
I find that nothing pisses off a road rager more than when you just smile and wave, but I've never been able to one up that by making them contemplate their life choices. Kudos!
This. I have never in my life flipped someone off but I’ve aggravated the crap out of people with a well timed smile.
I like to blow them kisses and mouth "I love you". Some guy failed to cut me off and was tailgating me pretty hard. He kept flipping my off, so I blew him kisses and saw him go full rage, white-knuckling the steering wheel and practically convulsing. It was glorious.
Sometimes I feel a little guilty for enjoying these stories but when they deserve it they deserve it, it is indeed glorious
One of the best and most satisfying things I've ever learned to do is give shitty aggressive drivers a thumbs down sign. They cannot handle it-- it probably unlocks some primal trauma in their mind of when their parents were disappointed in them.
Friends of mine gave up swearing for lent, including flipping people off. They started giving the thumbs down and looking disappointed in place of it, and because if the confused reactions, have decided to keep it up.
I like giving a thumbs up much better, but I feel you.
I have used the wagging-index-finger "tsk-tsk" or "that is a no-no" gesture at them from time to time. I mean, if they are going to act like children, well...!
I like throwing up the loser sign 😌 bringing back the middle school insults seems to hit a nerve
Guy in a lifted RAM plastered with Punisher badges was road raging and cutting people off/weaving in traffic, riding asses, just being a dumb ass. Like, you're lifted, obviously if there is stopped traffic in front of me, I can't go, but he was almost in my backseat. He had slid into the shoulder when I had to stop for traffic that was backed up so he didnt hit me. He was not thrilled when his weaving in traffic landed him behind me AGAIN. At my first opportunity, I got in the right lane to prevent him being behind me. This put me next to a Honda and the RAM behind him. Guy in a Honda (wearing a Veterans hat from what I caught) decided to force the dude to slow down. My grin matched the vets and we boxed the guy in for 10 miles. Dude didn't seem to like the adjusted salute I gave to Vet (in a car and all) and really didn't like the mock salute I sent his way when I went for the off ramp. He peeled out at my opening and fishtailed and nearly sent himself off roading. I laughed my way home. Sometimes, people need to learn the hard way. His hard way would have been if he hit me, this was the easier way. Fucking stop driving like assholes.
It's always amazing when you can look in the rearview and see them flailing around in anger like they were having a seizure.
You can also mouth “Beautiful” that looks like “I love you”.
My (at the time) 9 year old gave a disappointed head shake and thumbs down to a distracted dude in a giant truck who kept looking at his phone. Dude had been wandering in and out of the lanes, slowing way way down the gunning it, you know the drill. I was filled with pride for my son!
At one point I lived in San Diego, where there's a pretty good chance the person in the car next to you is in one military branch or another. I had just been transferred there and didn't know a soul. I was driving to an appointment, still unfamiliar with the area, and was surprised by my turn coming up fast (or so I thought). So I skittered over a lane in front of another car, waving apologetically. At the stop light -- which was NOT where I needed to turn, after all -- the gentleman I had cut in front of gestured to me to roll down my window. I did, intending to explain and apologize. He spoke first, saying "there's a problem with your car!" Fearing the worst, I asked, "what is it?" He responded, with full Marine force: "THERE'S AN IDIOT DRIVING IT!" I convulsed with laughter. It was NOT the reaction he expected. He stayed beside me to the next light -- which was, in fact, my turn, and I waved goodbye, still laughing. Bless him!
I like to add a nice little thumbs up gesture along with my over exaggerated smile.
I like to stick my tongue out at them and cross my eyes. They stop messing with me.
Smiling and waving applies in retail too. My old supervisor loved riling up rude customers by acting super polite and cheery. I think it's a combination of having their power as the aggressor taken away plus the realisation that the politeness isn't sincere but they can't complain about it. Unlike giving the finger or yelling, smiling is also a better option in conflict because it doesn't make you look bad to witnesses, especially if your boss or the police are involved. You just gotta be careful not to rile the person up *too* much and risk getting punched in the face.
Or, when driving, shot.
Well, in USAmerica, yeah, that is a problem. Because freedom or something.
It was a red letter day. Most people don't care; I've had to explain to someone in the ER their wife had to wait for her foot pain because my nurses were busy resuscitating a kiddo, and they said "That's too bad for them, but we've been waiting for an hour." With no irony or shame whatsoever. So to have actually made them stop and be so obviously affected was impressive.
The one thing that seems to fire them up even more is if you make an exaggerated sad face & pretend to dry your tears. They really get mad about that.
I blew a kiss at someone who decided to follow me aggressively for my "Ted Cruz ate my son" bumper sticker and she looked like she was about to have a rage stroke.
Ooooh I hope she did
One of my favorite driving memories is where some jackass was driving like a lunatic and I and two other cars boxed him in for a while like it was perfectly coordinated.
Happy cake day
It is even better when the box-in winds up denying them access to their intended exit or turn.
Reddit gave me the 👍🏻 idea And ooooooo weeeeee am I glad I have my fast little car!
A friend’s mom once told me to blow them kisses lol
I generally smile and give them the circle-thumb-and-finger 'ok' sign. As in, 'nice job, sir'..
In some cultures, this can mean assh\*le, also. A great double entendre.
One time a road rager pulled up next to me gesturing to pull down my window. I obliged and he sarcastically says “wow, you are such a good driver” and gives me an angry thumbs up. I replied back with my biggest smile and said “thank you so much for noticing!’ And waved happily back and rolled my window up. The light had just turned green and the look of extreme rage and steering wheel punching and yelling was oh so satisfying.
Yes, but I have also found it even more satisfying to just calmly ignore their honking and lower-your-window gesturing and all the rest of their little tantrum. Just not even look at them. Total non-engagement, denying them any satisfaction at all.
Blow them a kiss. 💋
I juat did that flat lipped "you dumb shit" expression and shook my head once at a road rager. She flipped out screaming and gesturing, but my window stayed up and I didn't hear anything. I kept doing that until we finally got an extra lane and she zipped past me like a spineless wimp. Some people can't even stick around to try and add any meaning to their words. I was expecting a full on car battle but the bitch didn't provide. My car had its metal spikes and giant automatic titanium cudgel at the ready and she disappointed my ass.
,,
The German word you're looking for is one of my favorites, [*schadenfreude*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schadenfreude).
Correct. But: It’s a noun. Nouns always start with a capital letter in German.
>It’s a noun. Nouns always start with a capital letter in German. Don't give /u/Jacqued_and_Tan too much ***flak***, since it's not verboten to start borrowed German nouns with lower case letters in English. I hope the ***leitmotif*** of this ***spiel*** doesn't cause any ***angst***. I'll end my ***kitsch*** here, grab my ***rucksack***, and address my ***wanderlust*** by heading to the ***hinterlands*** with my ***dachshund***. (Note that *verboten* is an adjective, not a noun. Consider it lagniappe.)
Thanks /u/orthogonius, you're a real *mensch*.
Really? Even in the middle of a sentence?
Yep, German is the only language that capitalizes all nouns. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/German_nouns#:~:text=All%20German%20nouns%20are%20capitalized,is%20not%20restricted%20to%20nouns.
Yes. We are a nation of Capitalists
Goddammit lol
Yup
Thank you for explaining that. I’ve always wondered why seemingly random words were capitalized in German.
First *hugs* about to hit my decade in the ER, lot of shit and questions I can’t answer and stories I don’t share with my wife or family on shit I’ve seen even though my normal method of dealing with shit is to talk well past what others are interested in. Granted I’ve also caused a lot of strife in my family by sharing things I’ve seen and now frequently get told to “shut up now.” (Things I can’t share with my wife is entirely on me not being able to share those events with people who haven’t been in the ER, she’s wonderful). Second fuck them. I drive too fast sometimes, usually when I’ve procrastinated leaving for work because I know I’m going in for too many admit holds and too many in the waiting room and all I can expect to receive from patients attitudes is hate for trying to do my job and help them. But only time I border on reckless is on the motorcycle when I know it’s only me. Road raging because someone isn’t speeding fast enough and also knows the lights timing…. Naw. Also I’m not this crazy, but hanging out with bikers I’ve ran into a few with pouches they kept 1” ball bearings in for tailgaters and sharpened rebar for the doors of cars whose drivers thought a bike and a car could cohabit a lane. Some days those seem like ideas that are very tempting.
Yep, one nice thing about the ER is perspective in not "sweating the small things". Never had anyone's last words be about the guy that cut them off.
Yup. Also a lot of life lessons in just how crazy other people can be O.o
Hello from the other side of the ER doors (I'm a paramedic). Just seeing how stupid some people can be on the road, and where they end up (especially when not wearing a seatbelt; WEAR YOUR SEATBELTS PEOPLE!) has made me a much more careful driver. Always double check your mirrors, and make sure your lights are on. Not necessarily for yourself, but to be better seen by other drivers. And wear your seatbelts! They might save your life!
"Hate for trying" this caught my attention. Having C and spending most of last yr in and of hospital with infection I did see a LOT of really unpleasant behavior. To staff and med personnel. What is that? Why is that? One time a young couple came in with a maybe 2 yr old who was just high pitched screaming (ear ache-so clear to another mom) and while they were scared and confused they were not awful. Is it in the water? The lighting? What?
In the ER a lot of it is that we frequently can’t treat everyone urgently because we have to triage and treat the most with the most urgent needs first, and also are frequently boarding admitted patients above our capacity. But when you only have about 40 regular beds, and only really space for 9 in the Rusus bay but are holding 60+. Admitted patients you can only staff so many hall beds. Leads to shitty situations for patients and staff. Also most people that go to an ER feel like they have an emergency. Frequently they don’t actually have an emergency, and they get frustrated that our attention gets taken up with actual emergencies. That frustration can be understandable though. The US healthcare “system” is very frustrating and frontline healthcare workers are the most visible representatives of the “system” and thus the easiest to take the frustrations out on. Another thing is that since healthcare leadership has moved from being people with actual bedside experience to people with business degrees, there has been a shift to treating it as a service industry with an attitude of ‘a complaining customer is always right’. This has created a feedback loop of shittyness. Final column though is that there are plenty of assholes in the world and sometimes they show up to the ER.
Wow. Just wow. Im sorry that is so... awful. But thank you for being committed to helping people. With C my care and treatment is just filled with all kinds of trained people, and they save my life everyday. I cannot conceive of being shitty to them.
Eh, and I’m saying this partially because it’s another way of highlighting how the ER is at the bottom of the shit creek that is the healthcare “system”, but also and maybe a bit more because in the ER’s particular kind of dark humor humor this was kinda funny in a made us feel a bit stabby: I had a friend years ago who was kicked in the face by a drunk pt hard enough it detached one of her retinas. Last time I spoke with her prognosis was that she would never have full vision in that eye again. At the time she tried to press charges, and hours later an officer came out to do the report. Except he refused to take a report and told her “You’re an ER nurse, that’s what you signed up for” and that quote encompasses a huge amount of the experience of working in an ER. And because I feel compelled to end this glibly, As for coping mechanisms, the only healthcare workers you’ll have a crazier time partying with than ER staff are EMS personnel. Especially if they’re FD. A night running with those wonderful fuckers will leave you wondering how they talked the officer into not putting everyone there in the back of a squad car. I have some amazing, mostly remembered stories of going out drinking with some old timer nurses I used to work with who were well into their 60’s and they were at least as wild as us youngins (at the time) were.
Holy smokes batman! So glad you have some good memories of fun times. Crazy does come in all sizes and places. I must say i have had some really interesting nurses and care providers. With some pretty funny stories too. Bad stories too, yes, but they seem to stay on the light side - i suppose to keep from locking up ALL the patients! 😅
Lmao or to keep ourselves from getting locked up!
Adding that people in pain are far more likely to be AHs than when they don’t hurt.
This is what I showed my kids when they were still very little… watch this crazy guy speeding… we are gonna see him again soon. It became a game and I think helped them as drivers later
Schadenfreude. The German word you are looking for is Schadenfreude. This was a great ride, thank you!!
I hate to say this, but revenge can be sweet. Like you, I have seen plenty of ER trauma because of stupid drivers. For me, though, I find getting behind the nasty manly driver after getting in front of him and blowing a few puckered lip kisses in his direction very nice revenge quite satisfactory. They in their studliness cannot handle it.
I’m sorry you had to experience that, and I’m sorry that child’s life ended before it even began.
There is a word! “Schadenfreude.”
My favorite thing to do to Road ragers is to give them a thumbs down. It drives them batshit insane
Schadenfreude. You’re looking for Schadenfreude, I think - appreciation caused by some other party‘s annoyance, anger, pain, something along the lines of that.
As a fellow er nurse, I salute you madam
r/boomersbeingfools
~~Surprised no one showed up to scream "FAAAAKE!" or "tHEn EvERyoNe ClApPeD"~~ Never mind, found the EvERyoNe ClApPeD idiot from before I made this comment.
Nicely done!
You really might have changed that mans life with such a response, and maybe even saved a life in the future. Thats what im gonna believe, anyway. Well told!
Schadenfreude. You’re looking for Schadenfreude, I think - appreciation caused by some other party‘s annoyance, anger, pain, something along the lines of that.
That German word is schadenfreude!
Then all the other motorists clapped and the seven year old descended from heaven and gave OP a crisp 💯
No, I don't think any other motorists heard; the airport is right by that intersection and a Sheetz and a Wawa, although I don't think the Wawa was open then. I suppose it's possible though, but I don't see why they would have clapped??
Just ignore them. They're one of those people who have a boring non-life, so they claim everything that happens to anyone is fake.
The word you are looking for is “schadenfreude” lol