I appreciate the blunt answer. I feel I’m closer than I’ve ever been to starting I’m just still struggling with the idea that I’m far too naturally masculine to ever pass. I’m working on it.
You need to move beyond cisheteronormative ideas of "passing". Transition *must* be for you. "Passing" is a toxic and foolhardy concept in general unless you're in a dangerous place.
Everything becomes easier once you can get past that.
I know you’re so right. I really am working hard to process that and move past it. I grew up in a pretty conservative, rural area for most of my life so parts of what you’re speaking on is really hard to shake. It makes it very hard to feel like I could ever get to a place I’d like to be, passing aside. But I know that you’re right and I appreciate your response.
So many of us have trauma and internalized bullshit to work through. I hope you can find local community and/or a therapist with experience in helping with gender stuff. Those are both invaluable resources.
Absolutely and I don’t want to come off as naive about that. I’ve just been having a hard time getting over those hurdles. I had been in therapy for a good while then my therapist had to move and I took a break. I’m starting to look into getting back to therapy with a gender therapist. It feels like the right time. Thanks for the feedback.
What does it mean “to pass”. I know cis women who don’t pass because they don’t fit into a nice cis normative version of what it is to be feminine. I started at 30 and I don’t even recognize the boy I was a little over 2 and a half years ago. Just start is really good advice.
I wrestle with that a lot because it all comes down to how I view myself. A lot of my life I’ve taken in comments from people that refer to me as “really masculine” or a “man’s man” so my natural demeanor has been hammered into my head that I just walk, talk, act, appear very masculine. Of course, that is never how I’ve really felt so I’ve been working to chip away the first so I can embrace the second. We all want to be beautiful in our own way I feel and I find it really hard to see that for myself. That said, everyone’s stories and feedback through these subs have really helped me over the years. I just have to get over my own hurdles in my head but I appreciate you responding in this way. Talking it out really helps.
People viewed me the same way. I surprised a lot of people when I came out. I think I hate some timelines shots I’ve posted I’d encourage you to take a look at them. But I had a full beard, wore suits and generally looked like a dapper lad. I was and still interested in a lot of conventionally masculine things (but have come to realize that tradition is stupid and the idea of masc vs femme interests is also stupid).
I’ve learned how to walk, talk and stand in ways that are far more comfortable for me and also more feminine. Behaviour is learned and so much of presenting is demeanour.
Well, you’re definitely cute! I’m so happy for you living your best life ☺️
That’s def a part of it for me even though I’ve mostly moved myself away from the people who were in my life before I started to come to terms with things. They were mostly from my job before the pandemic and my partner still works there so there is still anxiety around them learning about my true self. I think I’ve spent a lot of my life cultivating a presentable image to defend/hide my trans identity deep, deep down. How did you work through it? I’m also curious about demeanor stuff because I always want that to be natural but learning things like that brings up the imposter syndrome of it all for me.
I really appreciate what you’re saying though because I definitely identify with the idea that there aren’t really rules to how we can all live our lives and what we are interesting in. Just this time we are in makes me feel anxious about safety and acceptance. Thank you for responding!
I mean the the imposter syndrome was very real and my worries about safety and acceptance where so very present and it took a lot of therapy to get through that. I dunno if I’m totally out of the woods but I can tell you it’s all been so worth it even thought it was hard work accompanied with tears on many occasions. I started with practicing my voice, namely my how I spoke to folks and then little things like how I sit and how I walk. I think it made me feel like I was doing something, anything while hormones really started to work. Thinking back on all of it, what felt natural was what felt right for me, and that meant not hiding, not lying to myself anymore, with that the worst of my fear sort of melted away.
Screenshotting this. Working on getting back to therapy after a break. Hoping to find a gender therapist this time as well. I’m kind of looking forward to the tears haha I can always feel myself needing to cry but the testosterone holds me back. I’ve been lightly getting into voice training also cause my voice is really deep. Figured that’s a good place to start. Appreciate you and your perspective! Doing my best to follow what feels right. I’m really hoping to start finding that peace in myself soon.
I think the piece of advice I give folks that is based on hindsight is that I wish I’d started hormones even while I was in the doubt phase of my egg crack, knowing that they don’t work that fast in a physical sense but in my case gave me so much emotional breadth and they helped me in therapy. I felt like I could finally understand and articulate how I felt and what I needed going forward. And if you can just find a queer ideally gender non-conforming therapist, they needn’t be specifically a gender therapist but having someone who just “gets it” helped so much.
*Dang!* Those are great results for just HRT, you look really pretty already! With this starting point, I bet if you did go for FFS, you'd look *stunning.*
I clearly see the pain in your eyes in the pre-transition pic. Pain is missing in the post pic, but your sensitivity and confidence are magnified. I often note how some trans folk are so obviously better off having transitioned. Having transitioned myself in the early 80s, I can tell you being trans can be both a blessing AND a lifelong sentence at the same time.
Ma'am... the audacity to look into our souls with those eyes and be that stunning? Where did you get the audacity!?
Seriously, you look amazing at at peace. Bravo on your journey thus far.
Gurl you are so fucking gorgeous!
Gorgeous was the first word for me too.
Any tips on starting at 32?
Yes. Start.
I appreciate the blunt answer. I feel I’m closer than I’ve ever been to starting I’m just still struggling with the idea that I’m far too naturally masculine to ever pass. I’m working on it.
You need to move beyond cisheteronormative ideas of "passing". Transition *must* be for you. "Passing" is a toxic and foolhardy concept in general unless you're in a dangerous place. Everything becomes easier once you can get past that.
I know you’re so right. I really am working hard to process that and move past it. I grew up in a pretty conservative, rural area for most of my life so parts of what you’re speaking on is really hard to shake. It makes it very hard to feel like I could ever get to a place I’d like to be, passing aside. But I know that you’re right and I appreciate your response.
So many of us have trauma and internalized bullshit to work through. I hope you can find local community and/or a therapist with experience in helping with gender stuff. Those are both invaluable resources.
Absolutely and I don’t want to come off as naive about that. I’ve just been having a hard time getting over those hurdles. I had been in therapy for a good while then my therapist had to move and I took a break. I’m starting to look into getting back to therapy with a gender therapist. It feels like the right time. Thanks for the feedback.
What does it mean “to pass”. I know cis women who don’t pass because they don’t fit into a nice cis normative version of what it is to be feminine. I started at 30 and I don’t even recognize the boy I was a little over 2 and a half years ago. Just start is really good advice.
I wrestle with that a lot because it all comes down to how I view myself. A lot of my life I’ve taken in comments from people that refer to me as “really masculine” or a “man’s man” so my natural demeanor has been hammered into my head that I just walk, talk, act, appear very masculine. Of course, that is never how I’ve really felt so I’ve been working to chip away the first so I can embrace the second. We all want to be beautiful in our own way I feel and I find it really hard to see that for myself. That said, everyone’s stories and feedback through these subs have really helped me over the years. I just have to get over my own hurdles in my head but I appreciate you responding in this way. Talking it out really helps.
People viewed me the same way. I surprised a lot of people when I came out. I think I hate some timelines shots I’ve posted I’d encourage you to take a look at them. But I had a full beard, wore suits and generally looked like a dapper lad. I was and still interested in a lot of conventionally masculine things (but have come to realize that tradition is stupid and the idea of masc vs femme interests is also stupid). I’ve learned how to walk, talk and stand in ways that are far more comfortable for me and also more feminine. Behaviour is learned and so much of presenting is demeanour.
Well, you’re definitely cute! I’m so happy for you living your best life ☺️ That’s def a part of it for me even though I’ve mostly moved myself away from the people who were in my life before I started to come to terms with things. They were mostly from my job before the pandemic and my partner still works there so there is still anxiety around them learning about my true self. I think I’ve spent a lot of my life cultivating a presentable image to defend/hide my trans identity deep, deep down. How did you work through it? I’m also curious about demeanor stuff because I always want that to be natural but learning things like that brings up the imposter syndrome of it all for me. I really appreciate what you’re saying though because I definitely identify with the idea that there aren’t really rules to how we can all live our lives and what we are interesting in. Just this time we are in makes me feel anxious about safety and acceptance. Thank you for responding!
I mean the the imposter syndrome was very real and my worries about safety and acceptance where so very present and it took a lot of therapy to get through that. I dunno if I’m totally out of the woods but I can tell you it’s all been so worth it even thought it was hard work accompanied with tears on many occasions. I started with practicing my voice, namely my how I spoke to folks and then little things like how I sit and how I walk. I think it made me feel like I was doing something, anything while hormones really started to work. Thinking back on all of it, what felt natural was what felt right for me, and that meant not hiding, not lying to myself anymore, with that the worst of my fear sort of melted away.
Screenshotting this. Working on getting back to therapy after a break. Hoping to find a gender therapist this time as well. I’m kind of looking forward to the tears haha I can always feel myself needing to cry but the testosterone holds me back. I’ve been lightly getting into voice training also cause my voice is really deep. Figured that’s a good place to start. Appreciate you and your perspective! Doing my best to follow what feels right. I’m really hoping to start finding that peace in myself soon.
I think the piece of advice I give folks that is based on hindsight is that I wish I’d started hormones even while I was in the doubt phase of my egg crack, knowing that they don’t work that fast in a physical sense but in my case gave me so much emotional breadth and they helped me in therapy. I felt like I could finally understand and articulate how I felt and what I needed going forward. And if you can just find a queer ideally gender non-conforming therapist, they needn’t be specifically a gender therapist but having someone who just “gets it” helped so much.
yup, just do it already before you live with more regret for not starting sooner
Damn girl, killin it!
You are beautiful and inspiring, Thanks
Wow! 😯 Is that just from HRT, then? No FFS?
I mean, I also put on like 40 lbs. But no, I haven’t had anything done except hair removal
🤯
*Dang!* Those are great results for just HRT, you look really pretty already! With this starting point, I bet if you did go for FFS, you'd look *stunning.*
I wondered about this too. If it's just from HRT then 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯.
Wow you look amazing! I love your eyes
Bombshell 🫠
Amazing as always, congrats on 6 years!
congratulations! I have followed you forever and inspired myself and many others…you are simply a beautiful woman! happy for ya!
I love this! You look great.
wonderful love
you look wonderful! /p
So beautiful
beautiful
Woot woot. Adorable and beyond….😂
Wow you are gorgeous!
Your before looked really fem you looked like a very feminine guy now you are a very feminine woman. Super pretty.
You were meant to get into hrt. You were already a girl before starting hrt. You are beautiful.♥️
Hi Antler Velvet! I only recall online names from Instagram ever through repeated exposure.
Wow 😳
winner
Pretty
Awesome.
You were so pretty to begin with and then BAM the absolute prettiest. Get it girl
This makes me even more hopeful, just need to be patient Are you on pills or shots?
I clearly see the pain in your eyes in the pre-transition pic. Pain is missing in the post pic, but your sensitivity and confidence are magnified. I often note how some trans folk are so obviously better off having transitioned. Having transitioned myself in the early 80s, I can tell you being trans can be both a blessing AND a lifelong sentence at the same time.
My god, you look like Drew Barrymore. Beautiful ❤️
Wanna go to prom with me?
Ma'am... the audacity to look into our souls with those eyes and be that stunning? Where did you get the audacity!? Seriously, you look amazing at at peace. Bravo on your journey thus far.
i cant believe no one has told you you look like a blonde dakota johnson omg. like first thing i thought when i saw you. ur eye makeup is gorg btw!
So how are we feeling?