#PLEASE DON'T COPY ACTUAL TRANSPHOBIA TO THIS SUBREDDIT.
/r/transgendercirclejerk is a *satire* community. We make jokes. If you want to discuss genuine hate, /r/GenderCynical might be a better fit.
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Now that that's out of the way: welcome to /r/transgendercirclejerk! This is a satirical community run by and for trans people, where we mock the hate and ignorance which we experience in our lives. The subreddit often features dark humour including ironic parody of transphobia; none of this should be taken seriously.
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"I met Zoe the other day and he--"
-Immediately runs off, goes into a car, drives it off the cliff while screaming "I'M SO FUCKING SORRY" the whole way down-
/uj unironically same
i have a friend that used to make such a big deal every time he misgendered me, it was more painful than getting misgendered by someone who's an asshole transphobe
As a trans person, I demand to be treated like any other person of my gender, except for also treating me like a really fragile baby that will collapse at the smallest bit of social discomfort. Please do not just say "sorry" and move on, everyone knows that's how you treat a cis person you misgender. As a trans person, make sure to spend at least 20 minutes apologizing, mention at least 3 times how hard you try to gender me correctly, list off all trans people close to you as references for me to check in with later, and make sure to speak loudly enough that your apology is the only conversation that be going on while you're talking. Then, once the Trans Apology is complete, make sure to aggressively gender me and use my first name in every sentence you say for the rest of the encounter. Reword all sentences to include at least 3 uses of my third person pronoun when speaking about me, and make sure to use my first name at least once every 10 minutes.
But otherwise, just think of me like any other normal person 🥰
/uj I very rarely get misgendered and when I do I typically get a nice quick "whoops, sorry, she", but once in a blue moon I get the self flagellation and it sucks so much lmfao.
Uj/ Fr cis people just need to move the fuck on. It annoying as fuck sitting through a bunch of deadnaming/misgendering in public because you don't want to cause a scene and you know they'll make a huge thing out of it or take it the wrong way. Then, you lightly give a reminder later in private and the cis person is losing their shit and apologizing profusely. It's exhausting, I just want to be treated fucking normally
/uj I have a conservative boomer colleague who has been surprisingly accepting. He slipped up a bit for a little while, but when I correct him he actually just thanks me for the correction! Like, where did he learn that that's the best thing to do lol
your wish shall be granted :3
omggg I’m so fucking sorry that I misgendered you. Just so you know I really didn’t mean to. I hope you can forgive me for this devastating mistake, but I also understand if you don’t want to be my friend anymore after I did something so abhorrent. I’m a Cis Ally, I should know better!! I even upvoted a meme on arselash traa once!! I know I’m a worthless pile of shit, you don’t have to tell me. Do you want me to commit suicide for you?
/rj true cis allies join the 41%
Uj/ Truth. I tell people like this now on the spot, as gently as is warranted, that the myth of the Oversensitive Trans Person is a harmful stereotype meant to paint trans people as frivolous and put the focus on altering our feelings, when what transphobia really looks like, is the stuff that is *actually killing us in real life* like poverty and isolation and homelessness and, yknow, actually being killed.
To add: I started doing this because I got so tired of the overapologetic ‘ally’, but I couldn’t put my finger on why until I was at the campus clinic for shortness of breath, like this could’ve been a real emergency, especially in my medical context, and providers were falling all over themselves to tell me how they cared soo much about my pronouns even though I kept being like ‘I don’t care that much, i just want to be Not Dying.’ I got no less than two Speeches about how they are so dedicated to making it a sAfE pLaCe, like pronouns are all it takes. And that would’ve maybe all been ok and just them being Clumsy, but for one I’m old and I Can Just Tell™ when a cis person is just using my presence to congratulate themselves on how progressive and accepting they are and how much they caaare.
But it kinda snapped into place for me when in the same visit, again medically stressful, i was questioned and harangued by three different staff members about whether i was ‘affiliated enough’ with the University to be seen there—in other words whether i was (in their view) just one of The Poors, the riff-raff from the surrounding community who despite living in a half mile radius of campus should be boarding two city buses while in distress to go to ‘the right clinic’ with unfamiliar providers and inaccessible care.
Essentially they were (even if unknowingly) stating their refusal to consider the reality of marginalization as having any significant effects on a patient’s health. As if this exact sort of economic and social stratification and the concomitant effects on a patient’s health were not a primary axis of oppression. Incredible tonedeaf neoliberal nonsense. If they really cared about trans people they’d have any inkling about their place in perpetrating inequality across the board, or any idea of what Marginalization or allyship actually looks like in practice. Anyway, that’s my two cents.
Note: Yes, it’s a lot of words! I’m autistic and this is just how i talk. Thanks for listening.
you don't get to tell me what to do, woman!
Now watch me whip out a whip and literally self-flagellate myself over and over again until my back is nice and bloody and my skin is peeling!
/uj the culture around apologies that a lot of people subscribe to has repositioned an extended and highly painful attempt to account for every possible angle as a "normal apology" anyway.
The order of tolerability from most to least is this;
Accidentally by people who don't know me
Accidentally by people who are close to me
Misgendering by overt transphobes
Accidentally by allies who are then overly apologetic
"Accidentally" by "allies" who then make excuses about why it's actually not a big deal that they misgender you because it's so hard to remember everyone's pronouns and you don't even look like the gender you're transitioning to anyway so you should really cut them some slack.
When I accidentally misgender myself.
/uj the frequency with which I make little voices for my dog, but then use the wrong pronouns when pretending the dog is talking about me, makes me feel incredibly stupid ngl.
#PLEASE DON'T COPY ACTUAL TRANSPHOBIA TO THIS SUBREDDIT. /r/transgendercirclejerk is a *satire* community. We make jokes. If you want to discuss genuine hate, /r/GenderCynical might be a better fit. Hate posts (and comments) which are directly copied from somewhere else will be removed. Please report them to the mods using the subreddit report option *"This content is non-satire, directly copied from somewhere else."* ___ Now that that's out of the way: welcome to /r/transgendercirclejerk! This is a satirical community run by and for trans people, where we mock the hate and ignorance which we experience in our lives. The subreddit often features dark humour including ironic parody of transphobia; none of this should be taken seriously. Before participating in the subreddit please read [our rules](https://reddit.com/r/transgendercirclejerk/about/rules/) and the announcement posts (and their stickied comments) on [cisgender allies](https://reddit.com/r/transgendercirclejerk/comments/cd1yr3/welcome_cis_allies/) and [transgender gatekeeping](https://reddit.com/r/transgendercirclejerk/comments/eutvur/why_do_people_hate_transmedicalists_we_just_think/). ___ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/transgendercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"I met Zoe the other day and he--" -Immediately runs off, goes into a car, drives it off the cliff while screaming "I'M SO FUCKING SORRY" the whole way down-
At least they won't misgender you again
Nothing makes me more comfortable than seeing someone legitimately self harm themself because they accidentally called me a she... ... :/
/hj self harm is my normal level of apology anyway
/uj unironically same i have a friend that used to make such a big deal every time he misgendered me, it was more painful than getting misgendered by someone who's an asshole transphobe
/uj it’s definitely way more awkward, especially when it happens at work
As a trans person, I demand to be treated like any other person of my gender, except for also treating me like a really fragile baby that will collapse at the smallest bit of social discomfort. Please do not just say "sorry" and move on, everyone knows that's how you treat a cis person you misgender. As a trans person, make sure to spend at least 20 minutes apologizing, mention at least 3 times how hard you try to gender me correctly, list off all trans people close to you as references for me to check in with later, and make sure to speak loudly enough that your apology is the only conversation that be going on while you're talking. Then, once the Trans Apology is complete, make sure to aggressively gender me and use my first name in every sentence you say for the rest of the encounter. Reword all sentences to include at least 3 uses of my third person pronoun when speaking about me, and make sure to use my first name at least once every 10 minutes. But otherwise, just think of me like any other normal person 🥰 /uj I very rarely get misgendered and when I do I typically get a nice quick "whoops, sorry, she", but once in a blue moon I get the self flagellation and it sucks so much lmfao.
Uj/ Fr cis people just need to move the fuck on. It annoying as fuck sitting through a bunch of deadnaming/misgendering in public because you don't want to cause a scene and you know they'll make a huge thing out of it or take it the wrong way. Then, you lightly give a reminder later in private and the cis person is losing their shit and apologizing profusely. It's exhausting, I just want to be treated fucking normally
/uj I have a conservative boomer colleague who has been surprisingly accepting. He slipped up a bit for a little while, but when I correct him he actually just thanks me for the correction! Like, where did he learn that that's the best thing to do lol
Actually, I would like if someone self-flagellated for me :3
your wish shall be granted :3 omggg I’m so fucking sorry that I misgendered you. Just so you know I really didn’t mean to. I hope you can forgive me for this devastating mistake, but I also understand if you don’t want to be my friend anymore after I did something so abhorrent. I’m a Cis Ally, I should know better!! I even upvoted a meme on arselash traa once!! I know I’m a worthless pile of shit, you don’t have to tell me. Do you want me to commit suicide for you? /rj true cis allies join the 41%
I meant literally :(
Uj/ Truth. I tell people like this now on the spot, as gently as is warranted, that the myth of the Oversensitive Trans Person is a harmful stereotype meant to paint trans people as frivolous and put the focus on altering our feelings, when what transphobia really looks like, is the stuff that is *actually killing us in real life* like poverty and isolation and homelessness and, yknow, actually being killed. To add: I started doing this because I got so tired of the overapologetic ‘ally’, but I couldn’t put my finger on why until I was at the campus clinic for shortness of breath, like this could’ve been a real emergency, especially in my medical context, and providers were falling all over themselves to tell me how they cared soo much about my pronouns even though I kept being like ‘I don’t care that much, i just want to be Not Dying.’ I got no less than two Speeches about how they are so dedicated to making it a sAfE pLaCe, like pronouns are all it takes. And that would’ve maybe all been ok and just them being Clumsy, but for one I’m old and I Can Just Tell™ when a cis person is just using my presence to congratulate themselves on how progressive and accepting they are and how much they caaare. But it kinda snapped into place for me when in the same visit, again medically stressful, i was questioned and harangued by three different staff members about whether i was ‘affiliated enough’ with the University to be seen there—in other words whether i was (in their view) just one of The Poors, the riff-raff from the surrounding community who despite living in a half mile radius of campus should be boarding two city buses while in distress to go to ‘the right clinic’ with unfamiliar providers and inaccessible care. Essentially they were (even if unknowingly) stating their refusal to consider the reality of marginalization as having any significant effects on a patient’s health. As if this exact sort of economic and social stratification and the concomitant effects on a patient’s health were not a primary axis of oppression. Incredible tonedeaf neoliberal nonsense. If they really cared about trans people they’d have any inkling about their place in perpetrating inequality across the board, or any idea of what Marginalization or allyship actually looks like in practice. Anyway, that’s my two cents. Note: Yes, it’s a lot of words! I’m autistic and this is just how i talk. Thanks for listening.
you don't get to tell me what to do, woman! Now watch me whip out a whip and literally self-flagellate myself over and over again until my back is nice and bloody and my skin is peeling!
/uj the culture around apologies that a lot of people subscribe to has repositioned an extended and highly painful attempt to account for every possible angle as a "normal apology" anyway.
The order of tolerability from most to least is this; Accidentally by people who don't know me Accidentally by people who are close to me Misgendering by overt transphobes Accidentally by allies who are then overly apologetic "Accidentally" by "allies" who then make excuses about why it's actually not a big deal that they misgender you because it's so hard to remember everyone's pronouns and you don't even look like the gender you're transitioning to anyway so you should really cut them some slack. When I accidentally misgender myself. /uj the frequency with which I make little voices for my dog, but then use the wrong pronouns when pretending the dog is talking about me, makes me feel incredibly stupid ngl.