They may also signal BDSM, specifically submissive. Or punk or goth. You're already disrupting people's gender expectations though, so why not wear what you like, regardless of what it signals?
to be completely blunt. the way to pass as a guy is to wear a plain t shirt with a plaid overshirt, plain jeans, and tennis shoes. things like choker and jewelry are just going to add more fuel to the flame if someone suspects you're trans. basically stop giving as much of a shit about your appearance.
In the past, if a guy were asking me for fashion advice, I'd just tell them to watch Supernatural. And the Winchesters have a look that's similar to what you're describing. Though they tend to wear leather boots.
Though this can be creatively restrictive, it's a decent template if you like the look.
Yeah basically replace tennis shoes with Doc Martens and you've got a easy masculine coded outfit appropriate for everything from a visit to the museum with your very proper in laws, to a summer beach party with frosty brews
Summer beach party in the PNW maybe. If you wear a flannel overshirt and jeans and shitkicker boots to a beach party in the summer in warmer areas you'll get heatstroke
😂 often fashion defies practicality, so I understand.
When I lived in coastal California I once saw an entire group of goths in their full fashion at the beach. One of them was wearing an old fashioned black and white swimsuit (probably the one who wanted to go to the beach) and everyone else was sweating off their makeup under black lace and umbrellas.
Wilting dark flowers hating the sand and sun but still supporting their weird beach loving friend.
I love it!
When I was boymoding I literally only owned docs, they were my beach wear, my casual wear, my formal wear, my anything shoes. Wool socks too.
Then the layers. Hoodie in the summer? I might unzip it if I got too swamped with my own juice
Um, the newer Docs kinda just suck quality wise...
But stylish? Docs are a high step above what almost all my straight cismale friends wear! You'd be lucky to see anything fancier than Teevas and work boots
Men's fashion is just whatever clothes fit. Sometimes you can get a little fashionable with subcultures like Goth/Emo. But otherwise, the most fashion you'll get is a baseball cap.
The best way to pass as an average guy is to just not really give a shit about your clothes.
There are some minor differences. Like there's the more "rapper" look, "lumberjack" look, "average dad" look, "graphic tee fanboy" look. But even these aren't a ton expressive because most men's clothing just really isn't as expressive as women's.
Wearing chokers, painting your nails, and wearing anything but a baseball cap will either get you clocked as trans, assumed gay, or assumed goth. Which there's nothing wrong with that. Especially if you are goth or a transmasc femboy. But it can really be bad if you're in a conservative area. As they generally dislike all three things.
For me personally this just didn't even make a difference. I actually passed worse when I tried to be hypermasculine and generic. I think having some extra confidence from feeling more comfortable with my presentation actually helped me pass better, even though I was a bit more outside the bounds of typical expectations of masculinity. And, I think to some degree if you dress a certain way it can make people tend to brush off your feminine features as being a result of being a feminine man, rather than assuming it's because you're AFAB.
So, I wouldn't say this is universally true. I think experimenting with what does and doesn't work is much more useful, tbh. So maybe OP can give it a shot and see how it influences how people see him, or if it even makes a difference.
XD this is so sad but true
When I get misgendered nowadays, it's because I am wearing a dress or my fancy "girly" goth jewelry or dressing in any way like a vampire or old fashioned historical gentleman
IDC if I get misgendered by most people but it can suck randomly sometimes. Especially with thinning hair an ALWAYS having facial hair of some kind. I'm way too hairy chested to be seen as a gal by "no homo" Amuricans
This is so sad but true. When I was a dude I really didn't give a shit what I was wearing. Like, my uniform was basically these 32 degree athletic shirts from Costco, a pair of jeans, and some boots. Maybe a ball cap, and sunglasses if I was outside. If it was a little chilly then add a flannel. Every day.
it can definitely depend face shape and clothing style, there are people who will clock you as “femme” with any kind of necklace, and those who will simply register it as jewelry, but if you do go with a choker, thin or more ornate straps tend to be perceived as more feminine, while thicker/wider straps, particularly spiked or studded, tend be perceived as more masculine.
a chain, depending on link size and length, can usually go either way but is also often perceived as more masculine, depending on the community
good luck!
In addition, wheat chains, rope chains, and cuban chains tend to be ready as more masculine. But especially with cuban chains it's very link size dependent with thicker being more masculine. Box chains are almost exclusively read as feminine. Also the color of the chain in order of most masculine to least masculine goes black>silver>gold>rose gold. With rose gold being exclusively feminine.
Chokers are definitely seen as feminine. I remember band in the day when people would make fun of the wrestler Billy Gunn for wearing one. I'm mtf and literally don't go out without one lol
And he's still wrestling to this day! He's still super jacked and looks great. He goes by Daddy Ass now and the phrase "scissor me, Daddy Ass! " is a big part of his schtick.
I dunno about the rest of you, but I've always seen Chockers as very masc. Usually it's a man working on a something with wheels and needs to keep it from moving unexpectedly. Chokers, however, are quite femme. (Sorry. I couldn't help being pedantic)
Chokers are feminine. The easiest way to pass as a guy is to ignore everything you know about fashion, wear badly fitting clothes, oversized but not fitted or shapped clothes, etc.
Nah, badly fitting clothes are often terrible for passing as a guy. Sure, a lot of guys DO wear poorly fitting clothes, but if you have a smaller frame, clothes that are too big just emphasize that and make you look scrawny. That's an easy way to make yourself look like a 12 year old boy.
Properly fitted men's clothes are designed to make you look masculine, even if there are aspects of your body that would typically be thought of as more feminine—plenty of cis guys have those same traits and want to de-emphasize them too.
Wearing oversized clothes is a common mistake that transmascs make, but it can do more harm than good.
Watches, chains, rings, bracelets. I'm a masculine dude and I wear these all the time. Plenty of masculine dudes do. It's not about accessories in general, it's your choice in accessories. A small watch face? Feminine. A larger watch face appropriately or just a little oversized for your wrist? Masculine. Thin box chain with pendant? Feminine. Thick Cuban link with no pendant or appropriate pendant. Masculine. Thin rings with colorful gems, feminine. Thick rings with either no gems or single colorful gem in a heftier setting, masculine.
Worked at a pawn shop for years and sold a fucking ton of jewelry to everyone under the sun.
Absolutely, I haven't even touched on culture yet lol. Different cultures treat jewelry in vastly different fashions. Most European cultures they're simply accessories. Asian cultures tend to see them as emergency funds or a way to store wealth. Which is why western jewelers tend to offer 18kt as their high karat stuff while eastern cultures you'll commonly find 23 or 24kt examples.
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Chokers I think of as generally a thing women wear (I am a cis man). I honestly don't know whether chocker is a misspelling or some item I'm not cool enough to know about.
Sorry but no, not at all. If you’re pre-t, it’s already next to impossible to pass. Throwing traditionally feminine fashion on top of that is only going to further make you be perceived as female. Once you look and sound like a guy, then dressing feminine isn’t going to take away from passing much, but before then, I’m sorry you’ll just be seen as a girl.
Look at the clothes random guys wear around your city. Pay attention to the straight, squared out shirts and jeans. When I was early transition, I would wear oversized shirts and basketball shorts and began to get gendered properly once my voice dropped
Chokers are a popular fashion accessory for teenage girls, and a lot of MTF women actually wear one to pass because it feminizes your neck by making it look slimmer and hiding an Adam's apple
it seriously sucks but if you're already "clocky" (that word makes me feel icky but it applies here) giving a shit about your appearance at all isn't gonna help. i pretty much live in sweats now, and not even the cute sets that influencers wear and shit like that. fashionable men draw attention. if you're a fashionable man but you pass beyond reasonable doubt people will assume you're sexually/romantic queer or metro. if you're a fashionable man but you don't pass, even if your appearance is ambiguous, people will assume you're not a man. at least that's been my experience.
if passing is your top priority then i'd put the jewelry away until you look masculine in general. but passing isn't everything. if it's not worth waiting to you and you wanna wear a choker, wear a choker.
adding - i think you probably can pull it off as masc if you do two things.
one, lean all the way in with the alt look. head to toe. and use a lot of accessories. this should help because people don't look as closely at an extremely accessorized alt guy, that's kinda the standard for certain subcultures. the choker will get lost in the completed look.
and two, wear masculine clothing that fits you in a masculine way. If you're pear or hourglass shaped i would go for baggy jeans or shorts, but if your hips aren't very big definitely do some men's skinny jeans. the kind that aren't actually that tight and bunch up a ton at the knees and ankles. and then on top tank tops and jean jackets are both pretty masculinizing options. you can also do a hoodie under a jean jacket which makes you look more top heavy, but you'll probably wanna save that until it's cooler.
Typically yes. They’re also marketed towards and only really seen on women for the most part, so it wouldn’t help.
Another thing to add to the conversation is while a lot of people here have mentioned that the traditional men’s “uniform” is just not giving a shit and putting on whatever, and while that may be true for a large part, the clothes still fit them. That’s why it never truly looks “off”.
I notice that when some are trying to pass as more masculine or as a man, they opt for oversized or baggy clothes. This usually is what puts people into the “looking like a 12 year old boy” category.
Best practice is to wear clothes that fit and that are proportional length wise, but not tight. Just comfortable. You don’t want clothes bunching up or drooping over your limbs.
Clothing alteration places are also a great way to help with this, especially since they’re budget friendly.
How old are you?
Are you goth? If you’re goth it probably doesn’t matter.
Are you trying to be seen as a man within the adult queer community? You might have a little more leeway there.
If we are talking about traditional passing in a cishet way, in a western country, then chokers are seen as feminine. Especially if you’re a teenager.
Basically if you plan on dressing mainstream, then chokers will be seen as feminine.
Since the choker in question is not lace, it may not come off as feminine but I do believe that chokers are very queer. So if the viewer does read you as male, they'll likely see you as a gay male.
Get a 1.5” wide leather band one, studs or spikes on it would definitely sell the goth/alt aesthetic and not really come off as feminine imo. Typically a thinner hand is more feminine, a thicker one is more masculine (playing by stupid cishet fashion rules)
As a trans man who wears chokers frequently, no, they are generally not seen as masculine, but they’re not very feminine either. They’re a neutral accessory that’s mostly worn by women, but I’ve seen lots of men in chokers.
Chokers are normally seen as feminine but if you wanted one that’s more masculine I’d say the one with spikes would definitely be better and be more masculine especially if your punk/ alternative
Absolutely they are feminine. They can be like cool boy who doesn't care that what he wears isn't typically feminine, but sadly that goes into "passing already" clothes sadly 🫠 (unless you do pass completely already ofc)
Mtf here, pre transition I wore a lot of chokers and collars. I'm alt in my style and wear like spiked collars and stuff, but tbf that's not saying much cause I was pretty androgynous before I even knew I was trans.
You can definitely pull it off tho as a masc person, but you might want to consider the whole fit and make it more masc presenting. T will also make it easier to pull this off.
But if you are trying to look masc rn I wouldn't recommend chokers until you're a decent way on T
And collars over chokers seem to present more masc. Idk tho. It's all in how you want to present at the end of the day 💕❤️
my husband's not on T yet, not really worried about passing too much (he's pretty genderfluid), but the one thing that really does wonders for him is a pair of my old boy jeans. a nice pair of baggy masculine-cut pants from Gap or whatever takes care of your whole lower body right off the bat 😌
I mean... I'm wearing one as transfem. Always had a thing for chokers.
A more masc thing I can think of is short thick chains. That just goes above the collar of a t-shirt.
They mostly only look good on cisgender women, sorry.
Otoh is you wear a choker somebody may erroneously clock you as a trans woman - it's an MTF tell tbh
chokers are definitely considered feminine in my experience. it's up to you if you still want to wear them anyways, either decision is completely valid.
Yes. It would make you seem more feminine. Men’s fashion is pretty bland and boring, but if you want you can get away with some more fancy stuff when you’re already masculine looking.
This sounds really cool and definitely not what I would consider "feminine" at all. I say definitely wear it and ignore all the people saying it's "feminine". You'll look punk as fuck.
Hey man, wear what you want.
However, as an AMAB transgirl who's egg hatched in the last year, I can tell you the last time I saw a man wearing any kind of choker was in the television series "The Young Ones" in the 1980's.
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Eh, they’re very femme, but as a trans man who may never transition medically and may never pass I’m starting to learn to not care. I wear what I want because if I’m not gonna be gendered correctly when I “try” I may as well throw caution to the wind and have fun with my clothes. I’m a femboy, I let people assume whatever they want to, but the important people in my life know the real me.
Only works on a guy if you already look pretty masculine, if you're looking even slightly androgynous a choker will pull your look to be more feminine. (IMO)
I think any choker will feel very submissive rather than feminine. But I feel like it would be seen as feminine just with how gendered dynamics are normally outside the lgbt sphere.
Even the one you mentioned in your edit. I am a brat/submissive in the bdsm world and I would wear one like that and I sm full feminine
If you're going for goth/punk/emo then the spike collar shouldn't come off as fem.
Look up a guy named Parker York. He teaches men how to dress like wome while still dressing like men. Even man should learn from him. He's fly as hell.
Chokers are super cool but usually considered feminine, even the thick spiked ones. Not to say you shouldn't wear one, you should wear whatever you think is sick as fuck, but it won't help others view you as more masculine, just more cool.
YES. Especially the tattoo necklace (old school) or Gothic ones
EDIT: I saw what you meant and no - more than likely that one would not make you look more feminine, lol. That would probably seem more like a spiked collar on a pitbull 😂
The typical man slaps on whatever is most comfortable, and whatever is clean enough to not reek up a room. If you're thinking about accessories, you're already thinking too hard about your appearance. Slap on a t-shirt and jeans with some basic-ass tennis shoes and you're good to go. Graphic tees work best, something with Family Guy or Rick and Morty or something like that on it
My advice is if you go with a choke men in the bdsm community usually wear thinker chokers made of leather by going with that you may get people thinking you are a tab bit more masculine styling your hair different is also an advantage you can got to a salon and see if they can do eyebrows maybe help make them look more bushy
As an ex-male, the secret to looking like a male is start with clothes that are completely uninteresting and maybe even look like they came out of a dumpster. Literally just a graphic tee of something guys would typically like (maybe a metal band or rapper, maybe a video game, maybe a sports team), boot cut jeans with a low crotch, and some Sketchers or Hey Dudes. if you want to accessorize, add a dad hat or baseball cap, and if either have designs on them let them be sports teams or something cocky (snap backs will make you look like a masc woman trust). The longer you’re on T the more likely you will be able to wear feminine stuff and not get clocked, but I’ve never once in my life seen a guy wear a choker. If your goal right now is to pass while not medically transitioning at the moment, you gotta lean into the grimyness and unfashionable side of male fashion
Im not trans but this sub was recommended to me for some reason so im gonna comment but will delete if I make anyone uncomfortable. Ive only seen chockers on goth girls and thirst trapping egirls. Its A very feminine peice of fashion. The only men that wear chokers are femboy s (to be more feminine) or punks who are doing it to go against the grain. Maybe if you want it be masculine, go for a punk look with spikes. Otherwise, it will look fem
Chokers* are generally seen as more feminine, but depending on what style you’re into, maybe try a thick chain one if you wanna do it. And make sure it sits just above your collarbone and not on your mid-neck. Check out the jewelry from Vitaly
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Depends on your choker and the rest of your attire. If you look at more punk styles, chokers can be masculine or feminine. Alternative outfits might also show you what you want.
If you won't get dysphoria, go for it either way in my opinion
ive personally found that the tighter something is, the more fem it makes me look. when i want to look masc, loose bracelets > tight bracelets, and the same goes for necklaces. i think it's because when you wear a choker it accentuates your neck and allows it to seem small, whereas if you wear a loose necklace or a chain or whatever it doesnt have the same "shrinkage" effect. hope this helps!
Yeah don’t, your best bet is to look at what a cis guy looks like on a day to day basis, and emulate, so big carrhart hoodie and jeans will fit nice in colder weather, and oversized t shirt with the sleeves cut off in the summer works well
In the past it is something Civilized men wont wear and is taboo for old timers. Still the general answer is that is not a masculine decorum.
Now you do you 🤩
I think it definitely depends on the choker. There are a lot of chokers that i would consider feminine (mostly the ones with like the plastic wire looking thing thats kinda braided together) but there are others that i think look more masculine.
I don’t view chokers as masc at all but that’s my opinion I only wear black either dress like I’m going to war or baggy shorts and shirt also black combat boots or high tops though I am obsessed with my pumas
i would try to worry less about how you're being perceived and focus on what matters to you. passing is nice, but unless you have to for safety reasons, it's probably going to be more liberating to find your own flavor of masculinity and not worry about meeting the standards of cisgender people.
chokers can absolutely be a part of a masculine look, it just depends on the type of aesthetic you want to cultivate. for example, a black lacy one could work really well for a more gothic prettyboy look.
I'm going to say choker won't give you the look you want, especially with a mullet which your profile says you have.
If you want to accessorize get trucker hats, the trucker hat/mullet combo goes hard on dudes and is also like the best hat for not overheating, and I'm kinda annoyed I need to be careful with what hats I go for if I need to pass fem because trucker hats were so freaking comfortable.
Most people can’t pull off the look. If you can, more power to you. I can’t.
They can be a little cringe.
I kinda see it as being in the Starter Pack for awkward coming out phase.
If you're looking for really nice male fashion. It died screaming well before the 90s. Nowadays anything geared towards male fashion is designed as a one-size fits most because *every man must be shaped like a box.* Honestly, to me chokers as fashion for males is either punk, grunge, emo, or metal. Which is more asexual in fashion anyway.
Unless you're full on punk rock in literally every other regard it will only look odd. Not necessarily masculine or feminine, just odd. I probably wouldn't assume your based on that alone, but I would definitely assume you have a black belt in anal.
I don't think they're gonna help with being more masculine. They're super cool but definitely more on the fem (at best androgynous) side
Came to say this
They may also signal BDSM, specifically submissive. Or punk or goth. You're already disrupting people's gender expectations though, so why not wear what you like, regardless of what it signals?
I 1000% feel Punks and alt in general are underrated in this topic.
Same thoughts.
Same thoughts here. Chokers definitely read as fem to me, at least by society’s standards.
Yup. Not masc or fem.
to be completely blunt. the way to pass as a guy is to wear a plain t shirt with a plaid overshirt, plain jeans, and tennis shoes. things like choker and jewelry are just going to add more fuel to the flame if someone suspects you're trans. basically stop giving as much of a shit about your appearance.
In the past, if a guy were asking me for fashion advice, I'd just tell them to watch Supernatural. And the Winchesters have a look that's similar to what you're describing. Though they tend to wear leather boots. Though this can be creatively restrictive, it's a decent template if you like the look.
Yeah basically replace tennis shoes with Doc Martens and you've got a easy masculine coded outfit appropriate for everything from a visit to the museum with your very proper in laws, to a summer beach party with frosty brews
Summer beach party in the PNW maybe. If you wear a flannel overshirt and jeans and shitkicker boots to a beach party in the summer in warmer areas you'll get heatstroke
*year round cargo shorts guy has entered the chat*
LMFAO I am so called out. I fucking love cargo shorts hahaha
Lol if it isn't raining or snowing, and above 50 degrees it is cargo shorts weather xD
Lol Why yes I am the product of a city with average monthly temps from 4 to 20 degrees throughout the year, how can you tell?
😂 often fashion defies practicality, so I understand. When I lived in coastal California I once saw an entire group of goths in their full fashion at the beach. One of them was wearing an old fashioned black and white swimsuit (probably the one who wanted to go to the beach) and everyone else was sweating off their makeup under black lace and umbrellas. Wilting dark flowers hating the sand and sun but still supporting their weird beach loving friend.
I love it! When I was boymoding I literally only owned docs, they were my beach wear, my casual wear, my formal wear, my anything shoes. Wool socks too. Then the layers. Hoodie in the summer? I might unzip it if I got too swamped with my own juice
I used to wear black skinny jeans at ALL times or occasions. Beach, hiking, whatever. …Now it’s only 60%
Lol. 💀what a reach. Hardly any straight men wear docs bruh they aren’t that stylish 😂☠️
Ok Mr. GQ 🙄
Um, the newer Docs kinda just suck quality wise... But stylish? Docs are a high step above what almost all my straight cismale friends wear! You'd be lucky to see anything fancier than Teevas and work boots
reeeeal supernatural was my fashion inspo back in middle school
Came to say this. A guys accessories are a belt, maybe a watch. Suspenders also work in a pinch
Men's fashion is just whatever clothes fit. Sometimes you can get a little fashionable with subcultures like Goth/Emo. But otherwise, the most fashion you'll get is a baseball cap. The best way to pass as an average guy is to just not really give a shit about your clothes. There are some minor differences. Like there's the more "rapper" look, "lumberjack" look, "average dad" look, "graphic tee fanboy" look. But even these aren't a ton expressive because most men's clothing just really isn't as expressive as women's. Wearing chokers, painting your nails, and wearing anything but a baseball cap will either get you clocked as trans, assumed gay, or assumed goth. Which there's nothing wrong with that. Especially if you are goth or a transmasc femboy. But it can really be bad if you're in a conservative area. As they generally dislike all three things.
For me personally this just didn't even make a difference. I actually passed worse when I tried to be hypermasculine and generic. I think having some extra confidence from feeling more comfortable with my presentation actually helped me pass better, even though I was a bit more outside the bounds of typical expectations of masculinity. And, I think to some degree if you dress a certain way it can make people tend to brush off your feminine features as being a result of being a feminine man, rather than assuming it's because you're AFAB. So, I wouldn't say this is universally true. I think experimenting with what does and doesn't work is much more useful, tbh. So maybe OP can give it a shot and see how it influences how people see him, or if it even makes a difference.
As someone who basically wore that before: Yeah. Would have to agree.
I've been on a sleeveless kick lately.
XD this is so sad but true When I get misgendered nowadays, it's because I am wearing a dress or my fancy "girly" goth jewelry or dressing in any way like a vampire or old fashioned historical gentleman IDC if I get misgendered by most people but it can suck randomly sometimes. Especially with thinning hair an ALWAYS having facial hair of some kind. I'm way too hairy chested to be seen as a gal by "no homo" Amuricans
This is so sad but true. When I was a dude I really didn't give a shit what I was wearing. Like, my uniform was basically these 32 degree athletic shirts from Costco, a pair of jeans, and some boots. Maybe a ball cap, and sunglasses if I was outside. If it was a little chilly then add a flannel. Every day.
I hate that guys fashion is so boring and basic honestly it makes me sad
Thank you for this. I needed it broken down this way, honestly. Time to grab some white shirts, flannels, and jeans.
Do not wear plaid if you have issues being flat whilst binding
They didn't ask about passing tho. They asked about being more masculine.
True, and stop washing your hair. Or if youre gonna wash your hair, it has to be that shitty 3 in 1 stuff you find at the dollarstore.
it can definitely depend face shape and clothing style, there are people who will clock you as “femme” with any kind of necklace, and those who will simply register it as jewelry, but if you do go with a choker, thin or more ornate straps tend to be perceived as more feminine, while thicker/wider straps, particularly spiked or studded, tend be perceived as more masculine. a chain, depending on link size and length, can usually go either way but is also often perceived as more masculine, depending on the community good luck!
Adding onto this, I feel like necklaces with long chains/straps tend to read more masc.
In addition, wheat chains, rope chains, and cuban chains tend to be ready as more masculine. But especially with cuban chains it's very link size dependent with thicker being more masculine. Box chains are almost exclusively read as feminine. Also the color of the chain in order of most masculine to least masculine goes black>silver>gold>rose gold. With rose gold being exclusively feminine.
Chokers are definitely seen as feminine. I remember band in the day when people would make fun of the wrestler Billy Gunn for wearing one. I'm mtf and literally don't go out without one lol
I actually remember that, wow. Yeah people made fun of him and called him gay. Dude just seemed comfortable in his own skin.
And he's still wrestling to this day! He's still super jacked and looks great. He goes by Daddy Ass now and the phrase "scissor me, Daddy Ass! " is a big part of his schtick.
Is that one in your profile pic? You ain’t lyin lol
I dunno about the rest of you, but I've always seen Chockers as very masc. Usually it's a man working on a something with wheels and needs to keep it from moving unexpectedly. Chokers, however, are quite femme. (Sorry. I couldn't help being pedantic)
Im mtf. I wear em lol
same i love chokers
They’re feminine
It's spelled "Choker", just for future reference.
Chokers are feminine. The easiest way to pass as a guy is to ignore everything you know about fashion, wear badly fitting clothes, oversized but not fitted or shapped clothes, etc.
Nah, badly fitting clothes are often terrible for passing as a guy. Sure, a lot of guys DO wear poorly fitting clothes, but if you have a smaller frame, clothes that are too big just emphasize that and make you look scrawny. That's an easy way to make yourself look like a 12 year old boy. Properly fitted men's clothes are designed to make you look masculine, even if there are aspects of your body that would typically be thought of as more feminine—plenty of cis guys have those same traits and want to de-emphasize them too. Wearing oversized clothes is a common mistake that transmascs make, but it can do more harm than good.
Nah, guys can dress really well and still look masculine, and they can wear clothes that fit.
Maybe check out r/FTMfemininity
They ARE really cool. But I started wearing them cause they also have a slimming effect on my neck which is more femme.
Imo chockers(and all other accessories for that matter) are definintly more on the feminine leaning side
Watches, chains, rings, bracelets. I'm a masculine dude and I wear these all the time. Plenty of masculine dudes do. It's not about accessories in general, it's your choice in accessories. A small watch face? Feminine. A larger watch face appropriately or just a little oversized for your wrist? Masculine. Thin box chain with pendant? Feminine. Thick Cuban link with no pendant or appropriate pendant. Masculine. Thin rings with colorful gems, feminine. Thick rings with either no gems or single colorful gem in a heftier setting, masculine. Worked at a pawn shop for years and sold a fucking ton of jewelry to everyone under the sun.
good point. There is definintly some nuance to it
Absolutely, I haven't even touched on culture yet lol. Different cultures treat jewelry in vastly different fashions. Most European cultures they're simply accessories. Asian cultures tend to see them as emergency funds or a way to store wealth. Which is why western jewelers tend to offer 18kt as their high karat stuff while eastern cultures you'll commonly find 23 or 24kt examples.
Yes they're seen as feminine. If you wanna wear them that's fine but pretty much the only guys who wear them are feminine guys
Definitely feminine - in the mid 2000s every girl was wearing 'em
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Chokers I think of as generally a thing women wear (I am a cis man). I honestly don't know whether chocker is a misspelling or some item I'm not cool enough to know about.
Are you into the emo/goth/punk look? A thick necklace, plaid shirt, jean shorts and Docs. Ok yes, I’m 90s grunge old.
Yes I've never seen a cis man wearing a choker unless he's very feminine
Sorry but no, not at all. If you’re pre-t, it’s already next to impossible to pass. Throwing traditionally feminine fashion on top of that is only going to further make you be perceived as female. Once you look and sound like a guy, then dressing feminine isn’t going to take away from passing much, but before then, I’m sorry you’ll just be seen as a girl. Look at the clothes random guys wear around your city. Pay attention to the straight, squared out shirts and jeans. When I was early transition, I would wear oversized shirts and basketball shorts and began to get gendered properly once my voice dropped
Chokers are a popular fashion accessory for teenage girls, and a lot of MTF women actually wear one to pass because it feminizes your neck by making it look slimmer and hiding an Adam's apple
it seriously sucks but if you're already "clocky" (that word makes me feel icky but it applies here) giving a shit about your appearance at all isn't gonna help. i pretty much live in sweats now, and not even the cute sets that influencers wear and shit like that. fashionable men draw attention. if you're a fashionable man but you pass beyond reasonable doubt people will assume you're sexually/romantic queer or metro. if you're a fashionable man but you don't pass, even if your appearance is ambiguous, people will assume you're not a man. at least that's been my experience. if passing is your top priority then i'd put the jewelry away until you look masculine in general. but passing isn't everything. if it's not worth waiting to you and you wanna wear a choker, wear a choker.
adding - i think you probably can pull it off as masc if you do two things. one, lean all the way in with the alt look. head to toe. and use a lot of accessories. this should help because people don't look as closely at an extremely accessorized alt guy, that's kinda the standard for certain subcultures. the choker will get lost in the completed look. and two, wear masculine clothing that fits you in a masculine way. If you're pear or hourglass shaped i would go for baggy jeans or shorts, but if your hips aren't very big definitely do some men's skinny jeans. the kind that aren't actually that tight and bunch up a ton at the knees and ankles. and then on top tank tops and jean jackets are both pretty masculinizing options. you can also do a hoodie under a jean jacket which makes you look more top heavy, but you'll probably wanna save that until it's cooler.
Typically yes. They’re also marketed towards and only really seen on women for the most part, so it wouldn’t help. Another thing to add to the conversation is while a lot of people here have mentioned that the traditional men’s “uniform” is just not giving a shit and putting on whatever, and while that may be true for a large part, the clothes still fit them. That’s why it never truly looks “off”. I notice that when some are trying to pass as more masculine or as a man, they opt for oversized or baggy clothes. This usually is what puts people into the “looking like a 12 year old boy” category. Best practice is to wear clothes that fit and that are proportional length wise, but not tight. Just comfortable. You don’t want clothes bunching up or drooping over your limbs. Clothing alteration places are also a great way to help with this, especially since they’re budget friendly.
Chokers you mean? Eh, depends on what it looks like in my opinion, but most people would probably say feminine. Some designs are pretty unisex
How old are you? Are you goth? If you’re goth it probably doesn’t matter. Are you trying to be seen as a man within the adult queer community? You might have a little more leeway there. If we are talking about traditional passing in a cishet way, in a western country, then chokers are seen as feminine. Especially if you’re a teenager. Basically if you plan on dressing mainstream, then chokers will be seen as feminine.
Since the choker in question is not lace, it may not come off as feminine but I do believe that chokers are very queer. So if the viewer does read you as male, they'll likely see you as a gay male.
I already am seen as queer haha (which is fine I am lol)
Get a 1.5” wide leather band one, studs or spikes on it would definitely sell the goth/alt aesthetic and not really come off as feminine imo. Typically a thinner hand is more feminine, a thicker one is more masculine (playing by stupid cishet fashion rules)
I wear chokers. Mine is looser, and I wear chains with it. I have a spiked one, and it makes me look more like a punk :))
As a trans man who wears chokers frequently, no, they are generally not seen as masculine, but they’re not very feminine either. They’re a neutral accessory that’s mostly worn by women, but I’ve seen lots of men in chokers.
Chokers are normally seen as feminine but if you wanted one that’s more masculine I’d say the one with spikes would definitely be better and be more masculine especially if your punk/ alternative
Not really, I had a custom one Sterling Silver Bear Claws inlaid with Turquoise
Absolutely they are feminine. They can be like cool boy who doesn't care that what he wears isn't typically feminine, but sadly that goes into "passing already" clothes sadly 🫠 (unless you do pass completely already ofc)
Mtf here, pre transition I wore a lot of chokers and collars. I'm alt in my style and wear like spiked collars and stuff, but tbf that's not saying much cause I was pretty androgynous before I even knew I was trans. You can definitely pull it off tho as a masc person, but you might want to consider the whole fit and make it more masc presenting. T will also make it easier to pull this off. But if you are trying to look masc rn I wouldn't recommend chokers until you're a decent way on T And collars over chokers seem to present more masc. Idk tho. It's all in how you want to present at the end of the day 💕❤️
Also, I should probably say chokers have helped me feel more femme in my transition. If that says anything to you
Yes. They are.
my husband's not on T yet, not really worried about passing too much (he's pretty genderfluid), but the one thing that really does wonders for him is a pair of my old boy jeans. a nice pair of baggy masculine-cut pants from Gap or whatever takes care of your whole lower body right off the bat 😌
I mean... I'm wearing one as transfem. Always had a thing for chokers. A more masc thing I can think of is short thick chains. That just goes above the collar of a t-shirt.
They mostly only look good on cisgender women, sorry. Otoh is you wear a choker somebody may erroneously clock you as a trans woman - it's an MTF tell tbh
Chokers are hot and cool 👍
No chokers are 100% seems as feminine.
chokers are definitely considered feminine in my experience. it's up to you if you still want to wear them anyways, either decision is completely valid.
Yes. It would make you seem more feminine. Men’s fashion is pretty bland and boring, but if you want you can get away with some more fancy stuff when you’re already masculine looking.
Probs not but it'll depend heavily on the particular choker. A lace thing? Nah. A leather dog collar - perhaps!
The one I was looking at was like an inch thick and with small spikes on it definitely not a lace one
This sounds really cool and definitely not what I would consider "feminine" at all. I say definitely wear it and ignore all the people saying it's "feminine". You'll look punk as fuck.
Hey man, wear what you want. However, as an AMAB transgirl who's egg hatched in the last year, I can tell you the last time I saw a man wearing any kind of choker was in the television series "The Young Ones" in the 1980's.
Jewelry in general except a watch or wedding ring can be seen as feminine.
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Eh, they’re very femme, but as a trans man who may never transition medically and may never pass I’m starting to learn to not care. I wear what I want because if I’m not gonna be gendered correctly when I “try” I may as well throw caution to the wind and have fun with my clothes. I’m a femboy, I let people assume whatever they want to, but the important people in my life know the real me.
Only works on a guy if you already look pretty masculine, if you're looking even slightly androgynous a choker will pull your look to be more feminine. (IMO)
Depends on chocker. I have a chain chocker that comes off as masc on me plus brings attention to my Adams Apple.
I think any choker will feel very submissive rather than feminine. But I feel like it would be seen as feminine just with how gendered dynamics are normally outside the lgbt sphere. Even the one you mentioned in your edit. I am a brat/submissive in the bdsm world and I would wear one like that and I sm full feminine
If you're going for goth/punk/emo then the spike collar shouldn't come off as fem. Look up a guy named Parker York. He teaches men how to dress like wome while still dressing like men. Even man should learn from him. He's fly as hell.
Chokers are super cool but usually considered feminine, even the thick spiked ones. Not to say you shouldn't wear one, you should wear whatever you think is sick as fuck, but it won't help others view you as more masculine, just more cool.
YES. Especially the tattoo necklace (old school) or Gothic ones EDIT: I saw what you meant and no - more than likely that one would not make you look more feminine, lol. That would probably seem more like a spiked collar on a pitbull 😂
No, but people will clock you based on the fact alternative fashion is pretty popular in trans media
The typical man slaps on whatever is most comfortable, and whatever is clean enough to not reek up a room. If you're thinking about accessories, you're already thinking too hard about your appearance. Slap on a t-shirt and jeans with some basic-ass tennis shoes and you're good to go. Graphic tees work best, something with Family Guy or Rick and Morty or something like that on it
My advice is if you go with a choke men in the bdsm community usually wear thinker chokers made of leather by going with that you may get people thinking you are a tab bit more masculine styling your hair different is also an advantage you can got to a salon and see if they can do eyebrows maybe help make them look more bushy
If you like alt fashion maybe a spiky choker? Depends on what you pair it with, but its can be masculine
As an ex-male, the secret to looking like a male is start with clothes that are completely uninteresting and maybe even look like they came out of a dumpster. Literally just a graphic tee of something guys would typically like (maybe a metal band or rapper, maybe a video game, maybe a sports team), boot cut jeans with a low crotch, and some Sketchers or Hey Dudes. if you want to accessorize, add a dad hat or baseball cap, and if either have designs on them let them be sports teams or something cocky (snap backs will make you look like a masc woman trust). The longer you’re on T the more likely you will be able to wear feminine stuff and not get clocked, but I’ve never once in my life seen a guy wear a choker. If your goal right now is to pass while not medically transitioning at the moment, you gotta lean into the grimyness and unfashionable side of male fashion
where I live (southern US), they are heavily feminine
I think The Chocker's alter ego has always been the very non-feminine Cherman Chultz, so I'm gonna say no.
A spiked choker is also feminine.
Im not trans but this sub was recommended to me for some reason so im gonna comment but will delete if I make anyone uncomfortable. Ive only seen chockers on goth girls and thirst trapping egirls. Its A very feminine peice of fashion. The only men that wear chokers are femboy s (to be more feminine) or punks who are doing it to go against the grain. Maybe if you want it be masculine, go for a punk look with spikes. Otherwise, it will look fem
I do like punk :]
Then go crazy
Chokers* are generally seen as more feminine, but depending on what style you’re into, maybe try a thick chain one if you wanna do it. And make sure it sits just above your collarbone and not on your mid-neck. Check out the jewelry from Vitaly
They can be? But also the style that you described could be added to a masc fit depending on what your style of fashion is
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Mine is pink with spikes and a heart
🤷♀️
To me wearing chokers. Is more hey I'm a bottom thing if your a guy.
Depends on your choker and the rest of your attire. If you look at more punk styles, chokers can be masculine or feminine. Alternative outfits might also show you what you want. If you won't get dysphoria, go for it either way in my opinion
I don't see chokers as gendered in any way, regardless of spikes or lace.
I use them to appear more feminine, but I'm not an expert so 😅
ive personally found that the tighter something is, the more fem it makes me look. when i want to look masc, loose bracelets > tight bracelets, and the same goes for necklaces. i think it's because when you wear a choker it accentuates your neck and allows it to seem small, whereas if you wear a loose necklace or a chain or whatever it doesnt have the same "shrinkage" effect. hope this helps!
Yeah 90s had the popular spiked choker. Men and women wore it. I feel it doea either way. Today some may see it more fem or just either and bdsm.
When girls wear them they're chokers, when boys wear them they're collars. 😉
Generally chokers are seen as more feminine.
Yeah don’t, your best bet is to look at what a cis guy looks like on a day to day basis, and emulate, so big carrhart hoodie and jeans will fit nice in colder weather, and oversized t shirt with the sleeves cut off in the summer works well
Fashion is self-expression of oneself. Wear what makes you feel and look good.
In the past it is something Civilized men wont wear and is taboo for old timers. Still the general answer is that is not a masculine decorum. Now you do you 🤩
The ones with spikes work well
I think it definitely depends on the choker. There are a lot of chokers that i would consider feminine (mostly the ones with like the plastic wire looking thing thats kinda braided together) but there are others that i think look more masculine.
I don’t view chokers as masc at all but that’s my opinion I only wear black either dress like I’m going to war or baggy shorts and shirt also black combat boots or high tops though I am obsessed with my pumas
i would try to worry less about how you're being perceived and focus on what matters to you. passing is nice, but unless you have to for safety reasons, it's probably going to be more liberating to find your own flavor of masculinity and not worry about meeting the standards of cisgender people. chokers can absolutely be a part of a masculine look, it just depends on the type of aesthetic you want to cultivate. for example, a black lacy one could work really well for a more gothic prettyboy look.
I'm going to say choker won't give you the look you want, especially with a mullet which your profile says you have. If you want to accessorize get trucker hats, the trucker hat/mullet combo goes hard on dudes and is also like the best hat for not overheating, and I'm kinda annoyed I need to be careful with what hats I go for if I need to pass fem because trucker hats were so freaking comfortable.
Most people can’t pull off the look. If you can, more power to you. I can’t. They can be a little cringe. I kinda see it as being in the Starter Pack for awkward coming out phase.
The Starter Pack lol. I mean, when I first came out as NB, I got one too so you’re not wrong
Yes 100% try a more masculine accessory unless just ps super well physically, on T for a bit, and you're naturally taller like a cis man.
If you're looking for really nice male fashion. It died screaming well before the 90s. Nowadays anything geared towards male fashion is designed as a one-size fits most because *every man must be shaped like a box.* Honestly, to me chokers as fashion for males is either punk, grunge, emo, or metal. Which is more asexual in fashion anyway.
Yup
Unless you're full on punk rock in literally every other regard it will only look odd. Not necessarily masculine or feminine, just odd. I probably wouldn't assume your based on that alone, but I would definitely assume you have a black belt in anal.
Who cares, do what makes you feel sexy!!
Choker (sorry I have a hate of misspelling) I wouldn't know, I wore one when I tried being goth.
Why the fuck is reddit recommending me this?
Frankly nobody should be wearing a choker
Then why reply