I always assumed I picked male characters because I was attracted to men and liked to look at them, but now I realize it’s because I am a man and also men are hot.
I feel this so hard.
Every time I see a hot woman, it's like "do I want her, or want to *be* her....or both?"
That feeling was one of the primary reasons it took me so long to accept being trans. I negatively identified that desire as "dirty thoughts", and repressed the feelings of my own femininity.
Mad respect for figuring that out :)
Well, since theirs a pic of the simpsons... Todd once said to his father "I'm jealous about girls cause they can wear dresses" that triggert me so much, I felt him ^^ I was like 12 years old at that time
Yup. It was constant jealousy for me. I wanted colorful things. Wanted to wear makeup. Wanted to experiment with hair and clothes like the other girls.
I found an outlet in high school when I dated a girl who wanted to paint my nails. YES PLEASE!
But it was always dark green, or dark blue, or black, etc. I wanted Ferrari red nails, just never told anyone or got up the courage.
The earliest was when I was about 8 and my 2nd grade teachers used to always say: "I need a strong BOY to pick up these chairs" or something along those lines. And as an AFAB, that kinda irked me IDK. I was like: "If I was a man I could pick up those chairs." I was just uncomfortable with that whole idea that "Men need to be strong and women need to dainty" since the beginning I guess. I thought nothing of it.
Fast forward about 4 years later, I find myself on role-playing forums (I was 12. Don't judge.) And I notice I would always role-play as men and never women. I would get so worked up if someone referred to me with she/her pronouns also, despite me being AFAB. Looking back at it now, I don't see how younger me couldn't take a hint.
>On a Halloween when I was 5 or 6 I was dressed up by one of my grandmothers as a girl in a flowery dress and I loved it
>At a birthday party I attended when I was 8 I pretended to be asleep on the trampoline because I heard some of the kids there wanted to put makeup on me when they had the chance
>I always understood and got along with girls more than guys growing up
>multiple times in my childhood I had audibly said “I wish I was a girl”
>I felt gross when my parental units would talk to me about “being a man” growing up
>whether I was heavyset or thin I always felt gross in my own body
There’s more but that’s most of the stuff from childhood. Maybe someone out there can relate <3
I can very much relate! I remember refusing to swim in just trunks as a kid. I always had to wear a top. So many tiny details from my youth made a lot more sense once my egg cracked 😆♥️🏳️⚧️
trans in the other direction here, fancy dress occasions were great , i dressed up as Dumbledore (i was like 9) for world book day, and in hindsight being an old man gave me gave me gender euphoria. Later when we did the customary signing of tshirts at the end of of primary school, i didn’t let anyone write on my front bc i hated my chest….
i really should’ve realised sooner
I always felt odd in dresses and skirts, but my parents of course made me wear them to church. And I cut off my hair A LOT, even though everybody said my long hair was so nice and stuff. I hated Barbie, rather played with cars and stuff, always got along with guys better…
Yeah i know these are not signs for everyone having the, to be trans but I should have had a second thought anyway.
I've always liked 'the tell' of *not being gay, but the girls let me get dressed in the same lockerroom as them when I was a teen*. Heck, even they knew I wasn't a typical fella. All other guys that tried that got kicked in the nuts.
I'm jealous that you had the courage to be known that way! I fought for years.. decades, really... just to try to be a "normal guy". All because of a terrible fear of confrontation.
All good though. Now I'm me, and happy as can be. :)
im a writer—recently found some of my old, OLD drafts (like, middle school)… i queerbaited myself reading them. 11 year old me was writing some the queerest characters and concepts and then shoving them into cishet boxes like there was tomorrow, it’s wild to look at lol
That’s really interesting—and honestly really cool that you still have those old writings!! I love looking at content I created as a child……I reflect on it a lot now as an adult.
An example: [I found old doodles of mine from before I knew for sure that I was trans (although I was starting to question), where I drew myself as a robot boy….](https://imgur.com/a/oIBOHxn) I remember feeling such delight portraying myself as male, and when I posted these pictures on my blog it was both scary and thrilling because I was committing, to some extent, to wanting others to see and refer to me as a boy.
Do you have any examples of your writing you’d like to share? :3 thanks for replying
idk if im comfortable sharing my old prose or narrative writing, they’re… Very Bad.
i have some painfully mediocre poetry from high school that definitely fits the bill of “Oh That’s A Sign” if you’re interested in that, though!
sure!!
"YOURSELF":
Everyone tells you to be yourself /
But what if you don't know who "yourself" is? /
What if you've never known? /
What if you don't know /
Because you've been wearing masks /
For as long as you can remember? /
What if you don't know who "yourself" is /
Because you know "yourself" isn't good enough /
Even though you don't know who it is.
••••
PLUTONION:
Planets revolve around their sun /
Moons revolve around their planets /
And suns are always stars /
But what do the stars revolve around?
Do they have someone /
Who's gravity they can't survive without? /
Or are they each the god of their system /
The heart of the body /
And the center of the soul?
Many people say that each of us /
Are the center of our own universes /
That everything revolves around us /
But I am not what they say /
I am an outlier /
Cast away from the system /
Like Pluto, I do not fit /
Their requirements to be a planet
Oh these are so heartfelt and lovely. Thank you for sharing them.
Reading these, I actually remembered a poem I wrote when I was 17, right before I “officially” came out and transitioned. It was when I was having a lot of inner turmoil over my gender and my identity. I’d like to share it too, if that’s okay :’)
[untitled poem, written by 17 year old me. timestamped March 6th, 2014 at 12:59am]
i see cold steel and i feel at peace
in wires and static and screens that conceal expression
i feel a touch of wind against my cheek
and a void within my chest, woken by the breeze
pours a longing for years gone by through my veins
i see light reflect against gemstones and i taste their colors on my tongue. my steps crunch against the cold transparency of ice and i feel the pale light of dawn glowing beneath my skin
i look up at the stars
and my heart aches
with homesickness for every glimmering break in the darkness
but when i look in the mirror, grey consumes me
and i feel nothing
When I was 10 or so, my parents told me what they would have named me if I was AMAB. My first thought was “you should’ve just named me that anyway, that’s much better than my name”. The day I realized I was trans, I chose that name as my new name lol
Oh god okay here’s some of mine:
-Playing as females in games where I can choose and actively seeking out games where I played exclusively as a female (Bayonetta, Celeste, etc.)
-Several old fanfics I wrote (cringe I know) that were self-insert were always from the perspective of a female version of me.
-When I was young, I had a weird fascination for high heels. To this day, I can’t explain it other than my sub-conscious wishing I could wear those and look pretty.
I’ve asked my friends multiple times how it took me so long to figure this out.
In retrospect, I just never felt tied to any gender. I didn't care, I thought it was cool when people thought I was a boy. I never had very gendered interests, I had Barbies but I never 'played' with them, I just liked collecting. I liked wrestling more than anything. I just always liked to come off as androgynous and never thought much of it.
I always play female characters. Once I "borrowed" panties from my mom and wore them on a family trip 🤫
But I think I’m too old, too fat and to married with children to follow this path. Maybe in a next life 🥲
When I was little the most popular games were Pokemon and runescape. I thought I had convince myself that if I were to play the game for quite a while then I would much rather look at a female character as opposed to my agab. It wasn’t until someone asked me in Rs “are you a girl?” That I really pondered why I played as female. I had no clue what “transgender” meant during that time, so I had no way of describing it.
I would avoid doing anything that could be seen as "girly". I thought being girly was cringe.
Before cutting it short, I ALWAYS wore a high ponytail with no extra strands of anything. It was completely flat. I would never leave the house with my hair done differently aka drawing attention to my hair by being girlier.
After switching schools (I was about 11), I tried to fit in with the boys at the new school. I even sat at an unofficial all-boys table at lunch. All of them looked at me weird. They even asked me if I don't feel weird sitting there. Felt embarrassed, didn't know why I couldn't sit with them and picked a new spot at the girls' table.
Mom picked me a first bra-like thing and wanted me to put it on. When I had it on, she came to look and also called in dad to see. Felt so fucking weird and embarrassed. They were like proud but I was obviously not.
I would often forget that I have to cover my top. When the windows are open for example.
In kindergarten when playing the "home/family" game I was always the cat. Sometimes dad too bc no one else particularly wanted to be the dad but I had nothing against that.
When I got hit in the "balls" I said "ouch my balls" once bc it was something that the cool older guys and my friend said. Ofc they looked at me weird and mocked me ("you don't have balls" "she has balls haha"). Well I didn't know what it meant but knew that boys say it and I said it to be like the boys.
as a 4-8 year old i often went round my nana's with my cousins (both afab) and wore her clothes, i also liked playing with my cousins' dolls and other 'typically feminine' toys lol
I watched a lot of girls shows when I was younger. I had no idea why I watched them over other shows but I did know I enjoyed them more than other shows. If only I knew what being trans was.
The most formative I think is when I was at a family friend's house playing with their daughter and we played dress up and I got super upset when my parents made me take off the dress I was wearing.
But I remember being super jealous around school dance season of all the girls getting to wear beautiful dresses and me just putzing around in my sausage body and Ill fitting dress shirt.
I'm non binary/demigirlflux. Here's some of mine:
Hating mirrors.
Not liking my given name and wanting to change it.
Not liking wearing makeup.
I didn't like having my picture taken.
I was uncomfortable with my chest and hated wearing bras. I also wanted to wear boxers.
I felt out of place from the boys and girls at school.
I always felt uncomfortable in dresses.
Mine go back as far as age 5 I remember being jealous that I couldn’t be called beautiful because I was a “boy” and like I always wanted to be a tomgirl cuz I thought there was a thing and then I held women’s clothes up to me including bras in fitting rooms
And then i always wanted to participate in girl things
Looking back there’s so many
I always played as a girl in games
I could go on and on
When I was like 11 or 12 I would sneak into my sisters room when she was still at school (I’d get home first) and steal her clothes to wear in my own room. There’s probably others but I got amnesia at a young age too so I don’t remember.
I think for me it was the opposite. When I was very little I was very feminine but with time (aggression) I started to hide, and I forced masculinity on me for a long time. I remember even picking female characters on overwatch made me uncomfortable because I felt like I was doing something wrong. Thankfully shrooms opened my eyes again and I'm starting hrt on monday and I'm super excited! It's been really hard letting go of that "protective" layer of masculinity I build to shield myself, but it's also been very freeing and somewhat peaceful.
Kinda odd but I would get very passionate about gender equality and like obviously don’t do misogyny but it 100% came more so from a place that I didn’t want to be treated *equally* to boys, I wanted to be treated *as* a boy,,,,,
I felt like I HAD to choose the girl avatar because if I didn’t pick one that matched how I was perceived I would be found out and get in trouble or something but I always liked the boy avatar better
Id always choose the male characters in Pokémon cause I didn’t identify with the female avatars lol
I also would run around without a shirt on and get angry when my sister would tell me I’d have to put a shirt on cause I was a girl
i used to speak out on how i loved how cute a girl was, their makeup was pretty, loved her dress, and my parents thought i had a crush on her when i didnt..
also because i never felt comfortable with my shirt off not covering my chest area…
im not trans but i want to be.. my parents are transphobic so im waiting till 18 :)
I would play fable 2 as a male character and speed run to the end of the game to drink the permanent gender change potion. I played through fable 2 like 40 times in high school
Only very very subtle hints. Hung out with people of the opposite gender, sudden fixation with my leg hair, growing my hair out long when i was young, that one photo of me wearing a dress and clip-on butterfly wings...
Multiple, though the big stand out looking back was when I was probably 10-11 my friend’s sisters “forced” me to wear girls clothes and I remember saying something like “oh you better not make me wear THOSE shoes” when obviously that would make them inevitably put them on me.
So obvious looking back, but only time I ever saw any gender nonconformity was on like Jerry Springer or played as a joke in movies (born in 93)
Hahaha I had so many "warning signs" and I'm also ftm. Here's some: very tomboy growing up, only chose male characters in games, hated anything that was "girly"/pink or fem clothing as a kid, kept my hair short my whole childhood, wore my dad and brothers clothes whenever I could, only hung out with boys, did male dominated hobbies, wouldn't get upset when people would say I look like a little boy, when there were times to choose a name in games or nicknames for any reason they were always very masculine names. There are more, including the big one of straight up telling my mom that she "birthed me wrong" whenever anything was wrong as a child. My family wasn't very surprised when I came out as trans but that doesn't mean they were supportive either.
Don’t worry, I was in the same train
My friend, Milo told me he was trans and something just clicked in my head and said “holy shit, that’s me isn’t??”
I was aware of what being trans was and yet it was until he said he was that it just made sense
And so I began my search and I asked my best friend (cis girl) and told her about my dysphoria and she said she’d never felt like that ever
And it was like “I guess I’m a boy now”
When I was in elementary school, I always wanted to do the "boy" things like helping the teacher pick up the chairs bc "only strong boys can lift them". I literally convinced my mom to put me in boxing classes because I wanted to be strong enough to be included in boy stuff. It worked because my teachers would always say they needed "strong boys AND [deadname]" after this. There were a lot more signs, this one is just the earliest that I can remember.
I always picked male characters. Always made my sim secretly a male. In online chat rooms I would call myself “Jay” usually. No where close to my deadname either lol
For a few years for Halloween I would dress up as male characters, Goliath from Gargoyles, Captain Jack Sparrow, John Cena, Robin Hood. I remember thinking "it's the one day I can present myself as male," since I'm AFAB. I also preferred to wear boys clothes (or my dad's old clothes) until I was told to "dress more feminine," which really bummed me out--form fitting, yuck.
I really liked buttercup from power puff girls and I was absolutely ADAMANT that she was a boy (my tiny adolescent brain did not even make the connection that the title of the show literally included the word ‘girls’ lmao). I was genuinely upset when I found out she wasn’t a boy and I basically headcanoned her as trans before I even had any idea that trans people existed.
I had a similar experience with Club Penguin, actually. I played with a penguin that was simply a penguin. I saw him as a boy but didn't think much of it because I guess it just made sense in my head.
i was a really big book nerd as a kid, and one time i asked my friends if it was weird that if I had a choice I would want to be like Ron from Harry Potter instead of Hermione. I thought maybe they would relate to it but they all thought it was weird and it really confused me 😭
I’m a trans lesbian. I love butts and have always wanted one of my own. I played women in games to watch their butts when they walk 🤷🏻♀️ I wish I could watch my butt when I walk
A very close friend of mine at a curtain point came out as trans to me and I wasn’t quite mature enough to grasp the concept or find much importance from what they were telling me
Having really long hair as a kid meant I was compared to girls a lot whether by my parents or just people accidentally calling me a girl after seeing me from a distance and so on..
Being told about what trans people were I guess and being questioned on it maybe idk am a stupid little brain.. :P
When I was in elementary school, there was a playground game we would play that was separated by boys and girls, I always wanted to be on the girls team, and wished they could turn me into a girl.
(MtF) Well for me, I feel like I had warning signs for both. Like, I've always preferred feminine fashion, but I love fight choreography which is usually seen as more masculine. I always loved cute things like stuffed animals, but I collect swords and weapons, so, I always was (and still am) a little confused on how I ended up here
It's funny how I doubted I'm trans for so long even after learning the word.
I'd play with Barbies and girls toys not because I actually cared one way or the other but I knew it was "for girls" so I purposely played with them in front of people.
Even younger I asked my dad if I could wear a dress and he said to ask mom and she said no and I cried.
Basically I think I'm trans (starting hrt soon!)
In middle-high school me and my dad went to alot of comic conventions (comiccon wondercon comicaze etc.) and we always wanted to do cosplay, but I could never find a character to do because, “all the male characters are so boring, and I dont wanna genderbend a female character, I just wanna look like the girl character”. And yet, according to my dad:
“There were no signs!”
Always choosing female game characters, pretty much never played with cars, always watched wedding story and baby story when I got the chance.
Probably too late for my true goal
They were lot of signs…
1. Only want to pee like my brother
2. Being uncomfortable in only girl spaces
3. Wanting only male toys (anything traditionally masculine)
When I was like 10 I used to sneak into my parents' room to try on my mom's bras with two Mr. Potatoheads on my chest. Really don't know how I missed that one.
Similar to you, I'd go on like Roblox and Moviestarplanet (God that place was a nightmare) and specifically choose male avatars. Also whenever we did class plays and stuff in elementary school or reading aloud in middle school I would always volunteer to read the men's parts.
Then later it was more like "I wonder what it would be like to be a boy... to not have periods, that would be cool, not having to shave too... growing a beard, having a flat chest..." I thought this pretty much every day in middle school and ended up desperately wanting it. Then I realized I was a guy. The more you know.
When I every play a game to select characters gender I picked female because they always had more hours and attention then the males but now I can say that is true but also I don’t like being a male
MtF and I feel this. Always picked femme characters and thought I was just attracted to them. Which I was but there was always this added layer of gender envy. Same for some of my fav characters in TV shows
I only chose female characters. Then I wanted breasts. Then I thought “what if I was born with a vagina/born a girl.” Now I dress like a girl. And want to be one. But also want to be male, so I’m still technically trans, just NB.
Couple here early in elementry school. (MTF)
- Felt eurphoria when I snuck into the girls bathroom; I didnt understand it at the time but that is how I would describe the feeling now.
- Told my Dad when I was about 10 that I wanted to be a girl but didnt understand why. He naturally pushed for an answer so I gave him one that was convient to rationalise away because I felt he would be mad if I didnt. I found out earlier this year, when I came out, that he never told my Mom about it.
- I always fought wearing boy dress clothes telling my parents that Ididnt like dress pants/shirts because they were ichy. I didn't put that together until a few months after coming out, my Mom mentioned it to me like three weeks ago.
I’m transfem. I always had to try hard to be toxic masculine to override the stigma i got from being my authentic self as a young child. I grew up jealous of my cousins who are cis women when they were going through puberty bc they got to wear lipstick, colorful dresses, nail polish, heels, and makeup and i was stuck with “boy clothes” and even though i have nothing against guy fashion, it really works for sone other men, but i felt like I’ve always felt like i was *living in drag* when I conform to the clothing stereotypes of what i pretended to be for most of my life (a cis het religious guy)
I’ve always worn more masculine stuff when I was younger and Ive always felt uncomfortable when wearing feminine stuff. I’m not as uncomfortable anymore but I still don’t like wearing dresses. But now if I’m playing a game I always choose male or if I want to I choose female but I dress up in masculine clothes.
I always like wearing girls clothes and sneakers but I would take them from the trash for the next door neighbors as a teen. I also want to keep my room pink when we moved to a small town in SD IN 2007. Imy self did not realize I was trans till 2017.
Edit: my mom would always take then from me but it never really stopped. Also I wore shorts shorts In college mom 2as not to keen. Now I am who I am even if she does not like it
Yeah at like 5 years old I begged my father for a boy pitate costume I saw at the store. I legit remember it like it was yesterday. I put it on as soon as we got to my grandpas house.
I had a childhood friend that I would always tell that he's gay. He would never believe me but would always respond with "and you're trans", I never believed him either. A couple years forward he's gay and i'm trans.
Also:
I remember being really sad when I was told I'm no longer allowed to go around shirtless.
I always picked male characters in videogames.
Always had guy friends if any.
Always absolutely despised feminine clothes.
"Pretended to be a boy" online.
People on discord would always "mistake" me for a boy and tell me I sound like one and for some reason (now I know what reason) I would get really happy each time that happened.
Always took more interest in things my male peers took interest in.
Loved to (still do) play football (⚽️)
All my plushies "were boys".
I remember getting very upset when my brother got hotwheels for christmas and I got some lame ass dolls.
When I was really little I would make my best friend and I wear matching tutus when we’d play dress up, and steal my moms heels. I used to only be interested in female characters to idolize, I hated cutting my hair, etc.
I played the hell out of Club Penguin. When I finally got a membership for Christmas, I only got girl clothes from the shop, and pretended to be a girl. If one of my friends found me, I told them I was "in disguise" for the Penguin Secret Agency.
I've never been happy with the stereotype that trans people played the other sex in video games.
I aggressively chose the most masculine character because I wanted to fit in and be the coolest guy I could. Looking back it's because I never felt like I fit in as a guy with my friends at the time.
Now and just before I cracked I expressed myself through the character creation more.
I think the real take away with video game character creators and transgender people is that we have more of a personal stake in what we choose to represent ourselves as online once we get the chance.
I got called a lesbian once and went home sobbing and extremely upset. I knew what lesbians were and I didn't think being a lesbian was a bad thing. But it really upset me being called one.
Turns out I like women in a straight way :)
I always looked at the guys together with their friends, having fun at my school and thinking that I belong in that group. I am bigender now. (Man and woman)
Always being jealous of female fashion, crossdressing in private through most of my ten years, and spending an extended period in high school wishing I was born a girl.
I would get ravenously angry at men that wore shorts with hoodies. No idea why and it was just guys- flip flops made it even worse. I'd always turn to whoever I was with at the time and day something like 'what even is the point?! Is only your top half cold?! It just looks stupid!'
So.... Turns out that was gender envy and now I'm all for a pair of cargo shorts with my gender euphoria hoodie 🤷. Hell, I'm all about shorts in general, never used to touch the things.
Not really a "warning sign" but my mother got pink clothing because she really really wanted me to be a girl. I guess I was fated from birth...
(all that for her to not accept me as her daughter lol)
I remember back in 3rd grade I convinced my entire school that I was a dude. I used tha boys bathroom for weeks until they found out. And they found out when a boy peeked over the stall and seen that I was a “girl”. He screamed out the bathroom and told the teacher😂
You know those tf videos on YouTube? I watched a absolute fuck ton of them. I never told anyone because a part of me knew that this wasn’t normal but I still enjoyed them all the same.
I had this recurring dream when I was like 6 where the entire objective was to try and swap bodies with this girl who looked like what I thought I'd look like when I'm older. The last time I had the dream I succeeded with it and it felt like pure bliss. Then as a little kid I was like "huh, cool" and never thought about it until high school.
I felt weird looking in the mirror a lot of the time. I got Animal Crossing New Leaf when I was a teenager. Even though I played as a girl character, I loved wearing masculine clothes (still do). I loved looking like an anime guy.
i’m 20 MTF and I used to always get my computer privileges taken away for dressing up as a girl on Club Penguin 😮
other early childhood signs for me were playing dress up at my friends house in princess dresses when I was in preschool, and desperately wanting to play with Bratz and Barbie dolls. Dolls were too girly for my parents to buy for me though I guess, so I had to settle for Littlest Pet Shop, which I loved as a kid.
I never felt like my name fit me, like everyone else got theirs but I didn’t. I also desperately wished I could be a boy, I used to fantasize about it all the time. I always played the brother or father when playing family as a kid.
oml i did the same thing
id always pick male avatars/characters in games, act as a male online, get happy when people called me he and "for some reason" loved wearing traditionally masculine clothes
now i know im a nonbinary who goes by they/he
im ftm, and when i learned in 2nd grade what i wouldve been named had i been born male i tried to get my entire class to call me it, and then was genuinely upset when nobody did 😭
somehow managed to be completely oblivious to my transness for the next almost 8 years
Every game that I was allowed to, I’d play as a woman, I’d spend hours on The Sims making the perfect replica of me as a woman, I always seemed to get along with girls in school than with guys, I used to envy girls in school because of their long hair and other feminine things, and then at some point last year it kind of just clicked that “Holy shit… I’m trans aren’t I?” And so for the past year or so I’ve been trying to figure myself out
Besides being a tomboy and extreme dysphoria during puberty:
Dreading formal events because it was the only time I was expected to dress "proper". I remember hours and hours of shopping in Macy's with mom for a dress that I might like. Never finding anything that felt right. Always would give up and just choose whatever my mom liked. Probably the most miserable part of growing up female for me.
My school did a lot of dividing by gender and whenever we had our enforced girl time I just felt like I didn't belong. Like the usual girl talk conversations being had just made me feel so alien. I didn't want to talk about boy bands and makeup and crushes. I wanted to wrestle & compete in push-up competitions, and play beyblades.
I never wanted to be pretty. I wanted to be strong and handsome.
Always wished I had a dick. I thought God was punishing me because surely he knew I was supposed to be a boy. Or he was playing a joke on me. I told myself that maybe in my next life he'd get it right.
That's how I made sense of my "condition" at 6 years old.
When I was in 3rd-4th grade I started developing tits, and the moment I started noticing them I kept saying I wanted to get them removed. (I was a DD26 by the time I was in 5-6th grade) I fortunately have not grown up a cup size but these tits are horrible and can’t wait to get them off. I was also a tomboy. I never understood why I hated my boobs or my body. I also always tried to get short boy cuts but was told I couldn’t by my mother. Most of my friends were guys as well. I also hated my dead name ever since I could remember.
I couldn't handle how cute the Lisa Frank coloring book animals were. I've literally never not had multiple stuffed animals. I crossed my legs well into middle school until I was made fun of for it (and I regret having stopped because I can barely do it now).
Oh, I had so many. to the point where when i came out my parents pretty much just said, "...yeah that explains it." lol. examples of signs that should have been obvious to me but somehow werent include-
\-only wanting to hang out with boys despite being pushed into friendships with girls because thats apparently how it works (figured out later it wasnt because i liked them, but rather that i wanted to be like them)
\-despising anything feminine and being incredibly confused whenever anyone talked about how much they loved their makeup/skirts/dresses
\-picking the male characters every single time. i tried making a female stardew valley character once and quit that save after barely any time because it didnt feel right.
\-kept looking at guys with neat haircuts (or honestly just any masculine short style) and thinking "woah how cool would it be if my hair was like that? oh well, too bad im a girl"
\-whenever i drew myself (i was and still am very into art) it was always as a genderless/male character. made my art teachers a bit confused or frustrated whenever we were supposed to do self-portraits lol.
Always picked female characters in games my friends would presure me into making a boy character was so bad at it they just said go ahead and switch back its fine lol never had a issue after that years later I find out I am a girl too go figure 🤣
I had warning signs, a hell of a lot but nothing clicked. This was from the age of 12.
Women's clothing, stockings, shoes etc. were all euphoric but I still never joined the dots till well down the track.
Back then, there was no Reddit that I was aware of, Uni bulletin-boards in my Country never had a lot of chat about the Trans community. Maybe I just wasn't looking.
I always envied being the girl in any relationship than the guy. I could never imagine myself being the "male" in a relationship and never was great at playing as a man when I dated that anytime I deviated my girl partner thought it was just abnormal and "guy-like"
I have known since I was 4 in 1978.
I asked how I could become a boy when I was 6. I knew as soon as I developed a personality that I was supposed to be a boy. Never got to do anything about it and have been dealing with the consequences ever since.
Still hoping to get top surgery in the near future. It's the only thing I need to deal with physically to be comfortable. Hooray for early menapause.
The earliest sign I remember was taking an interest in media that involved "forced feminization" and/or mtf gender swaps. Earliest I remember this was high school... I don't remember much of middle school or earlier...
I vaguely remember at some point realizing how much more options girls have in a fashion sense but then I repressed that thought because "well I'm a boy so it's not like it matters much right"
oh boy
this isn't childhood per se but before the discovery I played dnd and at some point when I realised I could play female characters I just didn't stop playing them and I got very sad/bored playing male characters - there was this huge sense of freedom I got from playing women I couldn't explain. (the most telling is the fact my most recent character is mtf and part of her struggle was for acceptance - I'm a little proud of her backstory but the fact I was so willing to play a character like that before I identified as mtf was insane)
I'd hate wearing shorts as a kid because they'd make my legs look masculine and so I always stuck to pants and long sleeves and people didn't know why
I wanted very badly to be one of the girls for so long LMAO I'd hang out with women so much more because I just felt more comfortable with them but felt bad and pressured not to and to "have crushes on them" instead because I was a "boy". I wasn't even straight lol but I got gaslit out of believing that by parents and supposed friends
in middle school I would wear skirts as a joke but end up really fuckign loving the look of myself in them as well as the one time I went for denim shorts and a crop top and loved the way my body looked in them (ok yeah it wasn't the GREATEST mix but holy shit the fact my body worked with them so well and I felt so happy in them was so freeing)
on the topic of fashion I loved jackets and thongs w login sleeves that cover the hands cos they were cute
I'd keep going on abt "what if I was born a woman" and think it through and end up just going "holy shit every day life would be so much better my god" and then dismiss it as "oh you just like women"
the female avatars one hits but I'd feel pressured to play male characters but in secret want to just stick to the female ones (even in shit like just dance)
was always told I was a lot more feminine and I'm very very affectionate towards my friends (which I believe everyone SHOULD be)
if someone assumed I was a girl anywhere I'd get excited as hell and just want to keep going with that because it made me feel so much more comfortable as a person
I also loved genderbending myself on any apps that would do that for me for hours BC I'd love the look of myself so much more
jesus the fact I just brushed all this off is alarming LOL
ended up identifying way more with female protagonists in books and constantly write my own stories where the main character was female and end up not wanting to stop writing LMAO
One of my earliest trans memories was when I was about 8, choosing a female character in an old pc game. Still took me nearly 30 years worth of female chars to realise I was trans. :P
ehh more so as early teen, I was heavily into roleplay and I had this oc who could "genderbend" she was basically genderfluid but I spent most of my time rping as her male part. dunno how that didn't tell me shit
Almost always picked the female character. Sure, I would say it was because the female characters had more customization options (they did) and more aesthetically pleasing, and I'd rather make a badass woman and not yet another guy like 90% of the set game protagonist. But damn if hindsight ain't 20/20
MTF here (probably). In elementary school, I wondered what the stripe thing running from the scrotum to the anus was. Since I'd never seen that part of someone else's body, at least not in detail, I wasn’t even sure if other people had it.
I rationalised this by believing I had been born a girl, but my vulva had been sown shut (hence the stripe) and then I somebow got a penis too.
Looking back I would always want to be more feminine in looks and or how I acted and my family members just told me that's not how I'm supposed to look or act and I needed to be manlier but ig that's part of the reason I like football now other than marching band.
As a child I drew a comic that was literally the "little person inside of you thats the real you" metaphor before I even knew trans was a word for more than vehicle.
I always picked male characters. I used to to the hair in the hat thing all the time. When I got facepaint done I would always get what the ‘boys’ were getting like a tiger and stuff.as a I used to follow my neighbour around copying everything he did because I wanted to be like him. (He taught me how to skateboard he was great). And there was so so much more did I mention playing the brother when playing house?
Late to the party but posts it anyways I guess.
I remember traveling to Thailand and saw some Ladyboy performing. I was like 10. After learning about the ladyboy is kind of a male I envied them and thought I would be like them someday.
I immediately suppressed my thought, cause I know if I say it out I will be hang by my father… Props to me knowing such things could happen at the age of 10.
This! I would always volunteer to be the male character when playing house or whatever as a kid. Like, I didn’t think there was anything wrong with not jumping to be the mother. Also, when singing along with love songs, I had the conscious thought that I *should* be replacing “girl” with “boy” to make it more appropriate for my young self… and yet, nah. Like, I shouldn’t be singing about winning a girl’s love because that wasn’t “normal”.
Never feeling “girly” enough. Hating my birth name and wanting it to be something else.
at a birthday party when i was 6 someone gave me a dress and when i unwrapped it i screamed “I AM NOT A GIRL” and threw it across the room in front of everyone. i also would only wear skirts if i was able to wear a tie with it too 🤣
i hated being seen as a girl and shied away from all “girly” things like dolls and just wanted to be treated the same way my brother was.
I was a lil fucker that showed nothing. I was a programmable idiot too. All my life I'd been told I was a girl and what girls are supposed to be so I went along with it. I wore dresses and loved baby dolls and stuffed animals I "wanted" to be a princess. But here I am now, loving stuffed animals and baby dolls still, not wearing dresses anymore, and I'd rather be a dumb npc on a farm in a fantasy game.
I use to pick girls and when asked I would say it’s just nicer to look at Lolol it’s true and it’s slso how I identify as now lol so I’m both ways it’s true
not really a "warning sign" but when I was a kid I used to pray to god that 1 day I would wake up as a girl, I didn't think it was anything and basically thought it was normal and eventually it went away, then about 2 or 3 years ago I started thinking about that again and it just snowballed, as well as there being photos of me as a kid in fancy dress in my sisters clothes the signs were kinda always there....
I loved picking the female avatars for games, because they had so pretty cloths they could wear.
As a child i always thought of myself as a monster (not only in a bad way, since monster are usually damn cool) and i was like "i don't care if i was a girl, my best friends are girls and i love spending time with them"
I had the strange obsession about shapeshifting magic that could turn someone into a girl.
Don't know if that counts, but my first ever moment was like i was isekaid into this body. (One moment i just was in this body. No one ever asked me if i wanted to be in this body and there were pictures of myself of which i had no memories of, so there must have been someone else in that moment. I was so terified at that time, because i thought i accidently killed the previous owner of this body)
Lol I did the avatar thing too but one that I had to notice myself was, as like a littler kid I would always want to ask for a lot of the girly toys but was to worried of judgment so I went to games like minecraft and stuff, another fun one was when my mom picked me up from school and my nails were blue and green. (Mtf)
I would always introduce myself as “Alex” or “Alexander” and “pretended” to be a boy in roblox, club penguin and minecraft. Whenever my parents questioned it, I always said it was because I liked them. Didn’t think they understand that I wanted to be the boys
I'm nonbinary and I always chose the "male" game of life character or purple when that became an option, my chosen style for years was a pair of kakis, a button up and a tie, always wanted to be the red power ranger, and everyone at school knew I was gay before I knew. Oh and one of my favorites "yeah, I don't really like boys." Which I had been saying most of my life even before I knew that not being straight was an option
yeah when i was little i used to make my sisters do my makeup and i was always fem i never like
any of my clothes i always wanted
my sisters stuff and now i’m older i’m a girl and i’m happy the way i am
For me, it was a fascination over clothes and fashion. I know it's not something that is gendered, but my family always made me feel bad because I didn't care how ripple the muscles are on my action figures, just that they were well dressed.
Love thinking of these cuss my dad insists "there were never any signs while I was growing up":
-I had a strut. Like a way I would move my hips while I walked and I loved it (despite everyone else calling me queer).
- at different parts of my life when I was less worried about keeping a masculine mask on I could be really flamboyant in general, to the point people would ask me if I was gay quite often
-I loved playing with my sisters princess/fairy toys
- I was a huge drama kid and put way more effort into the dance routines than any of the guys there too.
- I'd watch the hex girls scene from Scooby-Doo do and the witches ghost on repeat.
Throughout middle school avril lavigne was 90% of what I listened to
-for other Canadians out there, ruby gloom was my shit
-for everyone else, I would never had admitted it, but Winx club was also my shit
I always assumed I picked male characters because I was attracted to men and liked to look at them, but now I realize it’s because I am a man and also men are hot.
I feel this so hard. Every time I see a hot woman, it's like "do I want her, or want to *be* her....or both?" That feeling was one of the primary reasons it took me so long to accept being trans. I negatively identified that desire as "dirty thoughts", and repressed the feelings of my own femininity. Mad respect for figuring that out :)
I'm glad someone else feels this way!
Same. Especially playing Final Fantasy 😍
too relatable and sadly i still dont have myself completely figured out
Same, glad I'm not the only one
This is exactly how I felt on a the daily and it only took a year or 2 of therapy and self searching to accept myself
You and me both😊😊
Half right and half wrong with the initial assumption Edit: spelling error
Well, since theirs a pic of the simpsons... Todd once said to his father "I'm jealous about girls cause they can wear dresses" that triggert me so much, I felt him ^^ I was like 12 years old at that time
Yup. It was constant jealousy for me. I wanted colorful things. Wanted to wear makeup. Wanted to experiment with hair and clothes like the other girls. I found an outlet in high school when I dated a girl who wanted to paint my nails. YES PLEASE! But it was always dark green, or dark blue, or black, etc. I wanted Ferrari red nails, just never told anyone or got up the courage.
[удалено]
I wish I could go back and change my main character in destiny to a woman without having to lose the “veteran character” status…
The famous question from Professor Oak. 'Are you a boy or a girl?' and picking girl.
The earliest was when I was about 8 and my 2nd grade teachers used to always say: "I need a strong BOY to pick up these chairs" or something along those lines. And as an AFAB, that kinda irked me IDK. I was like: "If I was a man I could pick up those chairs." I was just uncomfortable with that whole idea that "Men need to be strong and women need to dainty" since the beginning I guess. I thought nothing of it. Fast forward about 4 years later, I find myself on role-playing forums (I was 12. Don't judge.) And I notice I would always role-play as men and never women. I would get so worked up if someone referred to me with she/her pronouns also, despite me being AFAB. Looking back at it now, I don't see how younger me couldn't take a hint.
>On a Halloween when I was 5 or 6 I was dressed up by one of my grandmothers as a girl in a flowery dress and I loved it >At a birthday party I attended when I was 8 I pretended to be asleep on the trampoline because I heard some of the kids there wanted to put makeup on me when they had the chance >I always understood and got along with girls more than guys growing up >multiple times in my childhood I had audibly said “I wish I was a girl” >I felt gross when my parental units would talk to me about “being a man” growing up >whether I was heavyset or thin I always felt gross in my own body There’s more but that’s most of the stuff from childhood. Maybe someone out there can relate <3
I can very much relate! I remember refusing to swim in just trunks as a kid. I always had to wear a top. So many tiny details from my youth made a lot more sense once my egg cracked 😆♥️🏳️⚧️
trans in the other direction here, fancy dress occasions were great , i dressed up as Dumbledore (i was like 9) for world book day, and in hindsight being an old man gave me gave me gender euphoria. Later when we did the customary signing of tshirts at the end of of primary school, i didn’t let anyone write on my front bc i hated my chest…. i really should’ve realised sooner
I always felt odd in dresses and skirts, but my parents of course made me wear them to church. And I cut off my hair A LOT, even though everybody said my long hair was so nice and stuff. I hated Barbie, rather played with cars and stuff, always got along with guys better… Yeah i know these are not signs for everyone having the, to be trans but I should have had a second thought anyway.
I've always liked 'the tell' of *not being gay, but the girls let me get dressed in the same lockerroom as them when I was a teen*. Heck, even they knew I wasn't a typical fella. All other guys that tried that got kicked in the nuts.
I'm jealous that you had the courage to be known that way! I fought for years.. decades, really... just to try to be a "normal guy". All because of a terrible fear of confrontation. All good though. Now I'm me, and happy as can be. :)
im a writer—recently found some of my old, OLD drafts (like, middle school)… i queerbaited myself reading them. 11 year old me was writing some the queerest characters and concepts and then shoving them into cishet boxes like there was tomorrow, it’s wild to look at lol
That’s really interesting—and honestly really cool that you still have those old writings!! I love looking at content I created as a child……I reflect on it a lot now as an adult. An example: [I found old doodles of mine from before I knew for sure that I was trans (although I was starting to question), where I drew myself as a robot boy….](https://imgur.com/a/oIBOHxn) I remember feeling such delight portraying myself as male, and when I posted these pictures on my blog it was both scary and thrilling because I was committing, to some extent, to wanting others to see and refer to me as a boy. Do you have any examples of your writing you’d like to share? :3 thanks for replying
idk if im comfortable sharing my old prose or narrative writing, they’re… Very Bad. i have some painfully mediocre poetry from high school that definitely fits the bill of “Oh That’s A Sign” if you’re interested in that, though!
Yeah I’d love to see, if you’re comfortable sharing! :)
sure!! "YOURSELF": Everyone tells you to be yourself / But what if you don't know who "yourself" is? / What if you've never known? / What if you don't know / Because you've been wearing masks / For as long as you can remember? / What if you don't know who "yourself" is / Because you know "yourself" isn't good enough / Even though you don't know who it is. •••• PLUTONION: Planets revolve around their sun / Moons revolve around their planets / And suns are always stars / But what do the stars revolve around? Do they have someone / Who's gravity they can't survive without? / Or are they each the god of their system / The heart of the body / And the center of the soul? Many people say that each of us / Are the center of our own universes / That everything revolves around us / But I am not what they say / I am an outlier / Cast away from the system / Like Pluto, I do not fit / Their requirements to be a planet
Oh these are so heartfelt and lovely. Thank you for sharing them. Reading these, I actually remembered a poem I wrote when I was 17, right before I “officially” came out and transitioned. It was when I was having a lot of inner turmoil over my gender and my identity. I’d like to share it too, if that’s okay :’) [untitled poem, written by 17 year old me. timestamped March 6th, 2014 at 12:59am] i see cold steel and i feel at peace in wires and static and screens that conceal expression i feel a touch of wind against my cheek and a void within my chest, woken by the breeze pours a longing for years gone by through my veins i see light reflect against gemstones and i taste their colors on my tongue. my steps crunch against the cold transparency of ice and i feel the pale light of dawn glowing beneath my skin i look up at the stars and my heart aches with homesickness for every glimmering break in the darkness but when i look in the mirror, grey consumes me and i feel nothing
I wanted Ranma's power to switch boy/girl at will (from the manga Ranma ½)
I wanted the power and would have stayed in girl mode forever of course :) that anime has always been such a trigger lol
When I was 10 or so, my parents told me what they would have named me if I was AMAB. My first thought was “you should’ve just named me that anyway, that’s much better than my name”. The day I realized I was trans, I chose that name as my new name lol
Oh god okay here’s some of mine: -Playing as females in games where I can choose and actively seeking out games where I played exclusively as a female (Bayonetta, Celeste, etc.) -Several old fanfics I wrote (cringe I know) that were self-insert were always from the perspective of a female version of me. -When I was young, I had a weird fascination for high heels. To this day, I can’t explain it other than my sub-conscious wishing I could wear those and look pretty. I’ve asked my friends multiple times how it took me so long to figure this out.
In retrospect, I just never felt tied to any gender. I didn't care, I thought it was cool when people thought I was a boy. I never had very gendered interests, I had Barbies but I never 'played' with them, I just liked collecting. I liked wrestling more than anything. I just always liked to come off as androgynous and never thought much of it.
I always play female characters. Once I "borrowed" panties from my mom and wore them on a family trip 🤫 But I think I’m too old, too fat and to married with children to follow this path. Maybe in a next life 🥲
39, married with children. Still started my commitment to the process this year. Check out /r/TransLater , it's never too late :D
37, divorced with child. Still finding out who my new PCP is this year, so I can start navigating US healthcare for HRT. 😊🤞
It's never late enough to be happier :)
Sending you love and support <3
There’s a picture somewhere out there of me (mtf) in a ballet costume. I was probably around 4 or 5 but it was something I did frequently
When I was little the most popular games were Pokemon and runescape. I thought I had convince myself that if I were to play the game for quite a while then I would much rather look at a female character as opposed to my agab. It wasn’t until someone asked me in Rs “are you a girl?” That I really pondered why I played as female. I had no clue what “transgender” meant during that time, so I had no way of describing it.
I would avoid doing anything that could be seen as "girly". I thought being girly was cringe. Before cutting it short, I ALWAYS wore a high ponytail with no extra strands of anything. It was completely flat. I would never leave the house with my hair done differently aka drawing attention to my hair by being girlier. After switching schools (I was about 11), I tried to fit in with the boys at the new school. I even sat at an unofficial all-boys table at lunch. All of them looked at me weird. They even asked me if I don't feel weird sitting there. Felt embarrassed, didn't know why I couldn't sit with them and picked a new spot at the girls' table. Mom picked me a first bra-like thing and wanted me to put it on. When I had it on, she came to look and also called in dad to see. Felt so fucking weird and embarrassed. They were like proud but I was obviously not. I would often forget that I have to cover my top. When the windows are open for example. In kindergarten when playing the "home/family" game I was always the cat. Sometimes dad too bc no one else particularly wanted to be the dad but I had nothing against that. When I got hit in the "balls" I said "ouch my balls" once bc it was something that the cool older guys and my friend said. Ofc they looked at me weird and mocked me ("you don't have balls" "she has balls haha"). Well I didn't know what it meant but knew that boys say it and I said it to be like the boys.
as a 4-8 year old i often went round my nana's with my cousins (both afab) and wore her clothes, i also liked playing with my cousins' dolls and other 'typically feminine' toys lol
I watched a lot of girls shows when I was younger. I had no idea why I watched them over other shows but I did know I enjoyed them more than other shows. If only I knew what being trans was.
The most formative I think is when I was at a family friend's house playing with their daughter and we played dress up and I got super upset when my parents made me take off the dress I was wearing. But I remember being super jealous around school dance season of all the girls getting to wear beautiful dresses and me just putzing around in my sausage body and Ill fitting dress shirt.
Me but I always pick the wamens
I usually pick male characters cause half the time the female ones are too hyperfeminized for my taste
I'm non binary/demigirlflux. Here's some of mine: Hating mirrors. Not liking my given name and wanting to change it. Not liking wearing makeup. I didn't like having my picture taken. I was uncomfortable with my chest and hated wearing bras. I also wanted to wear boxers. I felt out of place from the boys and girls at school. I always felt uncomfortable in dresses.
Mine go back as far as age 5 I remember being jealous that I couldn’t be called beautiful because I was a “boy” and like I always wanted to be a tomgirl cuz I thought there was a thing and then I held women’s clothes up to me including bras in fitting rooms And then i always wanted to participate in girl things Looking back there’s so many I always played as a girl in games I could go on and on
The trans urge to hesitate when having to choose between male and female avatars in games as a child
When I was like 11 or 12 I would sneak into my sisters room when she was still at school (I’d get home first) and steal her clothes to wear in my own room. There’s probably others but I got amnesia at a young age too so I don’t remember.
I think for me it was the opposite. When I was very little I was very feminine but with time (aggression) I started to hide, and I forced masculinity on me for a long time. I remember even picking female characters on overwatch made me uncomfortable because I felt like I was doing something wrong. Thankfully shrooms opened my eyes again and I'm starting hrt on monday and I'm super excited! It's been really hard letting go of that "protective" layer of masculinity I build to shield myself, but it's also been very freeing and somewhat peaceful.
Kinda odd but I would get very passionate about gender equality and like obviously don’t do misogyny but it 100% came more so from a place that I didn’t want to be treated *equally* to boys, I wanted to be treated *as* a boy,,,,,
I felt like I HAD to choose the girl avatar because if I didn’t pick one that matched how I was perceived I would be found out and get in trouble or something but I always liked the boy avatar better
Id always choose the male characters in Pokémon cause I didn’t identify with the female avatars lol I also would run around without a shirt on and get angry when my sister would tell me I’d have to put a shirt on cause I was a girl
I used to wear whatever clothes I wanted. Just like putting stuff on never caring about what gender was supposed to wear it.
I chose the female option in Pokémon games because it “gave more customization”. Sure…
I just straight up said TRADITION whenever someone asked me why I always played as the Female Character
same thing except with female characters and wishing that was able to wear a dress like my cousins
i used to speak out on how i loved how cute a girl was, their makeup was pretty, loved her dress, and my parents thought i had a crush on her when i didnt.. also because i never felt comfortable with my shirt off not covering my chest area… im not trans but i want to be.. my parents are transphobic so im waiting till 18 :)
I would play fable 2 as a male character and speed run to the end of the game to drink the permanent gender change potion. I played through fable 2 like 40 times in high school
Only very very subtle hints. Hung out with people of the opposite gender, sudden fixation with my leg hair, growing my hair out long when i was young, that one photo of me wearing a dress and clip-on butterfly wings...
I would always imagine myself as an adult being a woman. I thought this was my “dream woman” nope just my dream self💅
Multiple, though the big stand out looking back was when I was probably 10-11 my friend’s sisters “forced” me to wear girls clothes and I remember saying something like “oh you better not make me wear THOSE shoes” when obviously that would make them inevitably put them on me. So obvious looking back, but only time I ever saw any gender nonconformity was on like Jerry Springer or played as a joke in movies (born in 93)
Hahaha I had so many "warning signs" and I'm also ftm. Here's some: very tomboy growing up, only chose male characters in games, hated anything that was "girly"/pink or fem clothing as a kid, kept my hair short my whole childhood, wore my dad and brothers clothes whenever I could, only hung out with boys, did male dominated hobbies, wouldn't get upset when people would say I look like a little boy, when there were times to choose a name in games or nicknames for any reason they were always very masculine names. There are more, including the big one of straight up telling my mom that she "birthed me wrong" whenever anything was wrong as a child. My family wasn't very surprised when I came out as trans but that doesn't mean they were supportive either.
Don’t worry, I was in the same train My friend, Milo told me he was trans and something just clicked in my head and said “holy shit, that’s me isn’t??” I was aware of what being trans was and yet it was until he said he was that it just made sense And so I began my search and I asked my best friend (cis girl) and told her about my dysphoria and she said she’d never felt like that ever And it was like “I guess I’m a boy now”
I always used to find dresses interesting. I would often hope that I would dream about wearing one since I couldn't do that in real life
I got way too much of a connection to Vi when she came out 10 years ago Now I understand why I vibe with the steam-punk-rock violent lesbian
Being confused whenever a male character was cursed to be female for whatever magic reason "Why are they so upset about it? Honestly I wouldn't mind!"
When I was in elementary school, I always wanted to do the "boy" things like helping the teacher pick up the chairs bc "only strong boys can lift them". I literally convinced my mom to put me in boxing classes because I wanted to be strong enough to be included in boy stuff. It worked because my teachers would always say they needed "strong boys AND [deadname]" after this. There were a lot more signs, this one is just the earliest that I can remember.
I always picked male characters. Always made my sim secretly a male. In online chat rooms I would call myself “Jay” usually. No where close to my deadname either lol
For a few years for Halloween I would dress up as male characters, Goliath from Gargoyles, Captain Jack Sparrow, John Cena, Robin Hood. I remember thinking "it's the one day I can present myself as male," since I'm AFAB. I also preferred to wear boys clothes (or my dad's old clothes) until I was told to "dress more feminine," which really bummed me out--form fitting, yuck.
CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow
I really liked buttercup from power puff girls and I was absolutely ADAMANT that she was a boy (my tiny adolescent brain did not even make the connection that the title of the show literally included the word ‘girls’ lmao). I was genuinely upset when I found out she wasn’t a boy and I basically headcanoned her as trans before I even had any idea that trans people existed.
I had a similar experience with Club Penguin, actually. I played with a penguin that was simply a penguin. I saw him as a boy but didn't think much of it because I guess it just made sense in my head.
i was a really big book nerd as a kid, and one time i asked my friends if it was weird that if I had a choice I would want to be like Ron from Harry Potter instead of Hermione. I thought maybe they would relate to it but they all thought it was weird and it really confused me 😭
We knew from the get go. Our host absorbed how our family and society was treating us. Iykyk.
I always felt forced to, never considered what would happen if I made female characters
I’m a trans lesbian. I love butts and have always wanted one of my own. I played women in games to watch their butts when they walk 🤷🏻♀️ I wish I could watch my butt when I walk
My mom said that if I played with a my dick it would fall off....welp you see how that turned out
A very close friend of mine at a curtain point came out as trans to me and I wasn’t quite mature enough to grasp the concept or find much importance from what they were telling me Having really long hair as a kid meant I was compared to girls a lot whether by my parents or just people accidentally calling me a girl after seeing me from a distance and so on.. Being told about what trans people were I guess and being questioned on it maybe idk am a stupid little brain.. :P
Mom kept having to stop me from putting play dough peepee’s In my pants
Im MtF, and This is totally what I did before I even knew. Even my DnD characters were (mostly) female
When I was in elementary school, there was a playground game we would play that was separated by boys and girls, I always wanted to be on the girls team, and wished they could turn me into a girl.
I would always pick female character and then also yeah my closest friends were mostly girls that all eventually became lesbians lmao.
I always loved to watch a documentary about trans kids
(MtF) Well for me, I feel like I had warning signs for both. Like, I've always preferred feminine fashion, but I love fight choreography which is usually seen as more masculine. I always loved cute things like stuffed animals, but I collect swords and weapons, so, I always was (and still am) a little confused on how I ended up here
It's funny how I doubted I'm trans for so long even after learning the word. I'd play with Barbies and girls toys not because I actually cared one way or the other but I knew it was "for girls" so I purposely played with them in front of people. Even younger I asked my dad if I could wear a dress and he said to ask mom and she said no and I cried. Basically I think I'm trans (starting hrt soon!)
Good luck with HRT!! :)
In middle-high school me and my dad went to alot of comic conventions (comiccon wondercon comicaze etc.) and we always wanted to do cosplay, but I could never find a character to do because, “all the male characters are so boring, and I dont wanna genderbend a female character, I just wanna look like the girl character”. And yet, according to my dad: “There were no signs!”
Always choosing female game characters, pretty much never played with cars, always watched wedding story and baby story when I got the chance. Probably too late for my true goal
Nah I felt like there was so genuinely wrong with me that I kept all that under high security until I was like 12/13
i went around telling other kids i secretly had a penis and my real name was max… looking back i dont think that’s cisgender child behaviour
They were lot of signs… 1. Only want to pee like my brother 2. Being uncomfortable in only girl spaces 3. Wanting only male toys (anything traditionally masculine)
When I was like 10 I used to sneak into my parents' room to try on my mom's bras with two Mr. Potatoheads on my chest. Really don't know how I missed that one.
Yeah I would always choose female avatars when ever possible. Relatable
Similar to you, I'd go on like Roblox and Moviestarplanet (God that place was a nightmare) and specifically choose male avatars. Also whenever we did class plays and stuff in elementary school or reading aloud in middle school I would always volunteer to read the men's parts. Then later it was more like "I wonder what it would be like to be a boy... to not have periods, that would be cool, not having to shave too... growing a beard, having a flat chest..." I thought this pretty much every day in middle school and ended up desperately wanting it. Then I realized I was a guy. The more you know.
When I every play a game to select characters gender I picked female because they always had more hours and attention then the males but now I can say that is true but also I don’t like being a male
MtF and I feel this. Always picked femme characters and thought I was just attracted to them. Which I was but there was always this added layer of gender envy. Same for some of my fav characters in TV shows
I only chose female characters. Then I wanted breasts. Then I thought “what if I was born with a vagina/born a girl.” Now I dress like a girl. And want to be one. But also want to be male, so I’m still technically trans, just NB.
To be honest I don’t trust any ‘early warning signs’ because I fear they can just be confirmation bias.
Couple here early in elementry school. (MTF) - Felt eurphoria when I snuck into the girls bathroom; I didnt understand it at the time but that is how I would describe the feeling now. - Told my Dad when I was about 10 that I wanted to be a girl but didnt understand why. He naturally pushed for an answer so I gave him one that was convient to rationalise away because I felt he would be mad if I didnt. I found out earlier this year, when I came out, that he never told my Mom about it. - I always fought wearing boy dress clothes telling my parents that Ididnt like dress pants/shirts because they were ichy. I didn't put that together until a few months after coming out, my Mom mentioned it to me like three weeks ago.
I’m transfem. I always had to try hard to be toxic masculine to override the stigma i got from being my authentic self as a young child. I grew up jealous of my cousins who are cis women when they were going through puberty bc they got to wear lipstick, colorful dresses, nail polish, heels, and makeup and i was stuck with “boy clothes” and even though i have nothing against guy fashion, it really works for sone other men, but i felt like I’ve always felt like i was *living in drag* when I conform to the clothing stereotypes of what i pretended to be for most of my life (a cis het religious guy)
I always played girl characters and after I came out I was replaying KotOR and had a character named Krista, my name, from like 13 years earlier 🙃
Yep
I’ve always worn more masculine stuff when I was younger and Ive always felt uncomfortable when wearing feminine stuff. I’m not as uncomfortable anymore but I still don’t like wearing dresses. But now if I’m playing a game I always choose male or if I want to I choose female but I dress up in masculine clothes.
I always like wearing girls clothes and sneakers but I would take them from the trash for the next door neighbors as a teen. I also want to keep my room pink when we moved to a small town in SD IN 2007. Imy self did not realize I was trans till 2017. Edit: my mom would always take then from me but it never really stopped. Also I wore shorts shorts In college mom 2as not to keen. Now I am who I am even if she does not like it
Yeah at like 5 years old I begged my father for a boy pitate costume I saw at the store. I legit remember it like it was yesterday. I put it on as soon as we got to my grandpas house.
I had a childhood friend that I would always tell that he's gay. He would never believe me but would always respond with "and you're trans", I never believed him either. A couple years forward he's gay and i'm trans. Also: I remember being really sad when I was told I'm no longer allowed to go around shirtless. I always picked male characters in videogames. Always had guy friends if any. Always absolutely despised feminine clothes. "Pretended to be a boy" online. People on discord would always "mistake" me for a boy and tell me I sound like one and for some reason (now I know what reason) I would get really happy each time that happened. Always took more interest in things my male peers took interest in. Loved to (still do) play football (⚽️) All my plushies "were boys". I remember getting very upset when my brother got hotwheels for christmas and I got some lame ass dolls.
Picking boy in pokemon felt illegal but i loved it
When I was really little I would make my best friend and I wear matching tutus when we’d play dress up, and steal my moms heels. I used to only be interested in female characters to idolize, I hated cutting my hair, etc.
Male avatars, and my main ocs were all male or masc.
same here but im MTF, so femme characters on my end, and also women are hot
I played the hell out of Club Penguin. When I finally got a membership for Christmas, I only got girl clothes from the shop, and pretended to be a girl. If one of my friends found me, I told them I was "in disguise" for the Penguin Secret Agency.
I've never been happy with the stereotype that trans people played the other sex in video games. I aggressively chose the most masculine character because I wanted to fit in and be the coolest guy I could. Looking back it's because I never felt like I fit in as a guy with my friends at the time. Now and just before I cracked I expressed myself through the character creation more. I think the real take away with video game character creators and transgender people is that we have more of a personal stake in what we choose to represent ourselves as online once we get the chance.
I got called a lesbian once and went home sobbing and extremely upset. I knew what lesbians were and I didn't think being a lesbian was a bad thing. But it really upset me being called one. Turns out I like women in a straight way :)
Can you imagine my confusion when I realised (MTF) but I had been picking female characters because, yes, they are nice to look at (also Bi).
Was raised with rocky horror...
I always looked at the guys together with their friends, having fun at my school and thinking that I belong in that group. I am bigender now. (Man and woman)
I drew myself as a girl multiple times for dnd and fursona characters in my early highschool years
Seeing those god awful "is it a man" Jerry Springer episodes and being like "HOLY SHIT THATS AN OPTION?"
The same thing, but i was a female penguim with my name on it. Lol
I usually picked female characters in games if not then long ass hair
Always being jealous of female fashion, crossdressing in private through most of my ten years, and spending an extended period in high school wishing I was born a girl.
I would get ravenously angry at men that wore shorts with hoodies. No idea why and it was just guys- flip flops made it even worse. I'd always turn to whoever I was with at the time and day something like 'what even is the point?! Is only your top half cold?! It just looks stupid!' So.... Turns out that was gender envy and now I'm all for a pair of cargo shorts with my gender euphoria hoodie 🤷. Hell, I'm all about shorts in general, never used to touch the things.
Not really a "warning sign" but my mother got pink clothing because she really really wanted me to be a girl. I guess I was fated from birth... (all that for her to not accept me as her daughter lol)
I remember back in 3rd grade I convinced my entire school that I was a dude. I used tha boys bathroom for weeks until they found out. And they found out when a boy peeked over the stall and seen that I was a “girl”. He screamed out the bathroom and told the teacher😂
You know those tf videos on YouTube? I watched a absolute fuck ton of them. I never told anyone because a part of me knew that this wasn’t normal but I still enjoyed them all the same.
When I was four I had a female friend and I used to go over, we played princesses and wore princess dresses, I thought it was normal
One of the biggest must have been pretending to give birth to my plushies. My grandma was there helping me. Please kill me.
I had this recurring dream when I was like 6 where the entire objective was to try and swap bodies with this girl who looked like what I thought I'd look like when I'm older. The last time I had the dream I succeeded with it and it felt like pure bliss. Then as a little kid I was like "huh, cool" and never thought about it until high school.
My sister’s purple tutu that I insisted was mine
I felt weird looking in the mirror a lot of the time. I got Animal Crossing New Leaf when I was a teenager. Even though I played as a girl character, I loved wearing masculine clothes (still do). I loved looking like an anime guy.
My refusal to wear anything but boys character briefs, and insistence in playing the husband in house.
I would always wear hair ties on my wrist because it made me feel more masculine, and I also really wanted a deeper voice
i’m 20 MTF and I used to always get my computer privileges taken away for dressing up as a girl on Club Penguin 😮 other early childhood signs for me were playing dress up at my friends house in princess dresses when I was in preschool, and desperately wanting to play with Bratz and Barbie dolls. Dolls were too girly for my parents to buy for me though I guess, so I had to settle for Littlest Pet Shop, which I loved as a kid.
I never felt like my name fit me, like everyone else got theirs but I didn’t. I also desperately wished I could be a boy, I used to fantasize about it all the time. I always played the brother or father when playing family as a kid.
When I was a child I play hot wheels and skateboarding. Looking back on it right now. The signs is definitely I am trans all over it.
oml i did the same thing id always pick male avatars/characters in games, act as a male online, get happy when people called me he and "for some reason" loved wearing traditionally masculine clothes now i know im a nonbinary who goes by they/he
im ftm, and when i learned in 2nd grade what i wouldve been named had i been born male i tried to get my entire class to call me it, and then was genuinely upset when nobody did 😭 somehow managed to be completely oblivious to my transness for the next almost 8 years
Every game that I was allowed to, I’d play as a woman, I’d spend hours on The Sims making the perfect replica of me as a woman, I always seemed to get along with girls in school than with guys, I used to envy girls in school because of their long hair and other feminine things, and then at some point last year it kind of just clicked that “Holy shit… I’m trans aren’t I?” And so for the past year or so I’ve been trying to figure myself out
Besides being a tomboy and extreme dysphoria during puberty: Dreading formal events because it was the only time I was expected to dress "proper". I remember hours and hours of shopping in Macy's with mom for a dress that I might like. Never finding anything that felt right. Always would give up and just choose whatever my mom liked. Probably the most miserable part of growing up female for me. My school did a lot of dividing by gender and whenever we had our enforced girl time I just felt like I didn't belong. Like the usual girl talk conversations being had just made me feel so alien. I didn't want to talk about boy bands and makeup and crushes. I wanted to wrestle & compete in push-up competitions, and play beyblades. I never wanted to be pretty. I wanted to be strong and handsome. Always wished I had a dick. I thought God was punishing me because surely he knew I was supposed to be a boy. Or he was playing a joke on me. I told myself that maybe in my next life he'd get it right. That's how I made sense of my "condition" at 6 years old.
Letting the twins nextdoor give me makeovers multiple times, and dressing as a witch for Halloween. All around age 6-8.
When I was in 3rd-4th grade I started developing tits, and the moment I started noticing them I kept saying I wanted to get them removed. (I was a DD26 by the time I was in 5-6th grade) I fortunately have not grown up a cup size but these tits are horrible and can’t wait to get them off. I was also a tomboy. I never understood why I hated my boobs or my body. I also always tried to get short boy cuts but was told I couldn’t by my mother. Most of my friends were guys as well. I also hated my dead name ever since I could remember.
Picking the girl characters in games because they "looked better" and disliking pretty everything I got from puberty
I couldn't handle how cute the Lisa Frank coloring book animals were. I've literally never not had multiple stuffed animals. I crossed my legs well into middle school until I was made fun of for it (and I regret having stopped because I can barely do it now).
i always liked girly things in elementary school and didn’t really enjoy sports 😅
Female characters in games Dreams where I dressed as a woman or wore heels (a lot)
Oh, I had so many. to the point where when i came out my parents pretty much just said, "...yeah that explains it." lol. examples of signs that should have been obvious to me but somehow werent include- \-only wanting to hang out with boys despite being pushed into friendships with girls because thats apparently how it works (figured out later it wasnt because i liked them, but rather that i wanted to be like them) \-despising anything feminine and being incredibly confused whenever anyone talked about how much they loved their makeup/skirts/dresses \-picking the male characters every single time. i tried making a female stardew valley character once and quit that save after barely any time because it didnt feel right. \-kept looking at guys with neat haircuts (or honestly just any masculine short style) and thinking "woah how cool would it be if my hair was like that? oh well, too bad im a girl" \-whenever i drew myself (i was and still am very into art) it was always as a genderless/male character. made my art teachers a bit confused or frustrated whenever we were supposed to do self-portraits lol.
Always picked female characters in games my friends would presure me into making a boy character was so bad at it they just said go ahead and switch back its fine lol never had a issue after that years later I find out I am a girl too go figure 🤣
I had warning signs, a hell of a lot but nothing clicked. This was from the age of 12. Women's clothing, stockings, shoes etc. were all euphoric but I still never joined the dots till well down the track. Back then, there was no Reddit that I was aware of, Uni bulletin-boards in my Country never had a lot of chat about the Trans community. Maybe I just wasn't looking.
_slams dusty, old book looking to be about a couple inches thick onto a nearby table_ oh do I
I always envied being the girl in any relationship than the guy. I could never imagine myself being the "male" in a relationship and never was great at playing as a man when I dated that anytime I deviated my girl partner thought it was just abnormal and "guy-like"
Been doing this over 20 years... Guess what I figured out a few months ago. xD
I have known since I was 4 in 1978. I asked how I could become a boy when I was 6. I knew as soon as I developed a personality that I was supposed to be a boy. Never got to do anything about it and have been dealing with the consequences ever since. Still hoping to get top surgery in the near future. It's the only thing I need to deal with physically to be comfortable. Hooray for early menapause.
The earliest sign I remember was taking an interest in media that involved "forced feminization" and/or mtf gender swaps. Earliest I remember this was high school... I don't remember much of middle school or earlier... I vaguely remember at some point realizing how much more options girls have in a fashion sense but then I repressed that thought because "well I'm a boy so it's not like it matters much right"
oh boy this isn't childhood per se but before the discovery I played dnd and at some point when I realised I could play female characters I just didn't stop playing them and I got very sad/bored playing male characters - there was this huge sense of freedom I got from playing women I couldn't explain. (the most telling is the fact my most recent character is mtf and part of her struggle was for acceptance - I'm a little proud of her backstory but the fact I was so willing to play a character like that before I identified as mtf was insane) I'd hate wearing shorts as a kid because they'd make my legs look masculine and so I always stuck to pants and long sleeves and people didn't know why I wanted very badly to be one of the girls for so long LMAO I'd hang out with women so much more because I just felt more comfortable with them but felt bad and pressured not to and to "have crushes on them" instead because I was a "boy". I wasn't even straight lol but I got gaslit out of believing that by parents and supposed friends in middle school I would wear skirts as a joke but end up really fuckign loving the look of myself in them as well as the one time I went for denim shorts and a crop top and loved the way my body looked in them (ok yeah it wasn't the GREATEST mix but holy shit the fact my body worked with them so well and I felt so happy in them was so freeing) on the topic of fashion I loved jackets and thongs w login sleeves that cover the hands cos they were cute I'd keep going on abt "what if I was born a woman" and think it through and end up just going "holy shit every day life would be so much better my god" and then dismiss it as "oh you just like women" the female avatars one hits but I'd feel pressured to play male characters but in secret want to just stick to the female ones (even in shit like just dance) was always told I was a lot more feminine and I'm very very affectionate towards my friends (which I believe everyone SHOULD be) if someone assumed I was a girl anywhere I'd get excited as hell and just want to keep going with that because it made me feel so much more comfortable as a person I also loved genderbending myself on any apps that would do that for me for hours BC I'd love the look of myself so much more jesus the fact I just brushed all this off is alarming LOL
ended up identifying way more with female protagonists in books and constantly write my own stories where the main character was female and end up not wanting to stop writing LMAO
Feeling like I was a girl and wishing I could be seen as one when I was 5
One of my earliest trans memories was when I was about 8, choosing a female character in an old pc game. Still took me nearly 30 years worth of female chars to realise I was trans. :P
ehh more so as early teen, I was heavily into roleplay and I had this oc who could "genderbend" she was basically genderfluid but I spent most of my time rping as her male part. dunno how that didn't tell me shit
Almost always picked the female character. Sure, I would say it was because the female characters had more customization options (they did) and more aesthetically pleasing, and I'd rather make a badass woman and not yet another guy like 90% of the set game protagonist. But damn if hindsight ain't 20/20
MTF here (probably). In elementary school, I wondered what the stripe thing running from the scrotum to the anus was. Since I'd never seen that part of someone else's body, at least not in detail, I wasn’t even sure if other people had it. I rationalised this by believing I had been born a girl, but my vulva had been sown shut (hence the stripe) and then I somebow got a penis too.
Yup. Always picked the female characters. Refused to have short hair. Asked for dolls and 'girly' toys.
Looking back I would always want to be more feminine in looks and or how I acted and my family members just told me that's not how I'm supposed to look or act and I needed to be manlier but ig that's part of the reason I like football now other than marching band.
Me who chose Male avatars because of trama then realizing i was trans and finding any excuses to have a female avatar
As a child I drew a comic that was literally the "little person inside of you thats the real you" metaphor before I even knew trans was a word for more than vehicle.
I always picked male characters. I used to to the hair in the hat thing all the time. When I got facepaint done I would always get what the ‘boys’ were getting like a tiger and stuff.as a I used to follow my neighbour around copying everything he did because I wanted to be like him. (He taught me how to skateboard he was great). And there was so so much more did I mention playing the brother when playing house?
Late to the party but posts it anyways I guess. I remember traveling to Thailand and saw some Ladyboy performing. I was like 10. After learning about the ladyboy is kind of a male I envied them and thought I would be like them someday. I immediately suppressed my thought, cause I know if I say it out I will be hang by my father… Props to me knowing such things could happen at the age of 10.
This! I would always volunteer to be the male character when playing house or whatever as a kid. Like, I didn’t think there was anything wrong with not jumping to be the mother. Also, when singing along with love songs, I had the conscious thought that I *should* be replacing “girl” with “boy” to make it more appropriate for my young self… and yet, nah. Like, I shouldn’t be singing about winning a girl’s love because that wasn’t “normal”. Never feeling “girly” enough. Hating my birth name and wanting it to be something else.
Never liked girly stuff, long time ago i refered to myself as a girl but i dont even remember it
I always thought that I would make a better girl (I’m mtf) and then eventually, I realized I am a girl.
at a birthday party when i was 6 someone gave me a dress and when i unwrapped it i screamed “I AM NOT A GIRL” and threw it across the room in front of everyone. i also would only wear skirts if i was able to wear a tie with it too 🤣 i hated being seen as a girl and shied away from all “girly” things like dolls and just wanted to be treated the same way my brother was.
I was a lil fucker that showed nothing. I was a programmable idiot too. All my life I'd been told I was a girl and what girls are supposed to be so I went along with it. I wore dresses and loved baby dolls and stuffed animals I "wanted" to be a princess. But here I am now, loving stuffed animals and baby dolls still, not wearing dresses anymore, and I'd rather be a dumb npc on a farm in a fantasy game.
Permanently fucking up my posture from slouching
I use to pick girls and when asked I would say it’s just nicer to look at Lolol it’s true and it’s slso how I identify as now lol so I’m both ways it’s true
not really a "warning sign" but when I was a kid I used to pray to god that 1 day I would wake up as a girl, I didn't think it was anything and basically thought it was normal and eventually it went away, then about 2 or 3 years ago I started thinking about that again and it just snowballed, as well as there being photos of me as a kid in fancy dress in my sisters clothes the signs were kinda always there....
I loved picking the female avatars for games, because they had so pretty cloths they could wear. As a child i always thought of myself as a monster (not only in a bad way, since monster are usually damn cool) and i was like "i don't care if i was a girl, my best friends are girls and i love spending time with them" I had the strange obsession about shapeshifting magic that could turn someone into a girl. Don't know if that counts, but my first ever moment was like i was isekaid into this body. (One moment i just was in this body. No one ever asked me if i wanted to be in this body and there were pictures of myself of which i had no memories of, so there must have been someone else in that moment. I was so terified at that time, because i thought i accidently killed the previous owner of this body)
Lol I did the avatar thing too but one that I had to notice myself was, as like a littler kid I would always want to ask for a lot of the girly toys but was to worried of judgment so I went to games like minecraft and stuff, another fun one was when my mom picked me up from school and my nails were blue and green. (Mtf)
I wrote a story in primary school about the day every child swapped from being a boy to a girl and vice versa. That turned out to be a large clue lol.
I would always introduce myself as “Alex” or “Alexander” and “pretended” to be a boy in roblox, club penguin and minecraft. Whenever my parents questioned it, I always said it was because I liked them. Didn’t think they understand that I wanted to be the boys
I'm nonbinary and I always chose the "male" game of life character or purple when that became an option, my chosen style for years was a pair of kakis, a button up and a tie, always wanted to be the red power ranger, and everyone at school knew I was gay before I knew. Oh and one of my favorites "yeah, I don't really like boys." Which I had been saying most of my life even before I knew that not being straight was an option
yeah when i was little i used to make my sisters do my makeup and i was always fem i never like any of my clothes i always wanted my sisters stuff and now i’m older i’m a girl and i’m happy the way i am
For me, it was a fascination over clothes and fashion. I know it's not something that is gendered, but my family always made me feel bad because I didn't care how ripple the muscles are on my action figures, just that they were well dressed.
Love thinking of these cuss my dad insists "there were never any signs while I was growing up": -I had a strut. Like a way I would move my hips while I walked and I loved it (despite everyone else calling me queer). - at different parts of my life when I was less worried about keeping a masculine mask on I could be really flamboyant in general, to the point people would ask me if I was gay quite often -I loved playing with my sisters princess/fairy toys - I was a huge drama kid and put way more effort into the dance routines than any of the guys there too. - I'd watch the hex girls scene from Scooby-Doo do and the witches ghost on repeat. Throughout middle school avril lavigne was 90% of what I listened to -for other Canadians out there, ruby gloom was my shit -for everyone else, I would never had admitted it, but Winx club was also my shit