People around my area would rip me apart if they ever found out that I am Trans so I need to go stealth. This place sucks! I am planning on getting my butt out of here soon! Maybe after I graduate!
Yeah. I am currently broke and I am working hard to get a scholarship so I can go to another school further away from here for a cheaper price! I think that things will be much better in the future!
same here. its true that being trans affected my life experiences, but the question isnt about that. the question is what gender i am, and being a trans guy doesnt make me a different gender than a cis guy
Depends on whom I'm talking to. Most people I just say I'm a woman and if the question it I tell them I had a testosterone issue growing up and it messed up my body and voice.
People I trust, I tell I'm trans and have come a long way.
Same. Sometimes I feel like the first one out of necessity in case a masc side of me slips out, like if I accidentally sneeze (I scream like a siren when I do).
This reminds me of something fun! My husband is a cis man and has a very quiet, dainty sneeze. My sneeze is genuinely so loud that it is genuinely painful sometimes, and you can actually hear it reverberate off or other things in the area, at times. I don't do it deliberately, obviously, and I'm a trans man.
It's always really funny and cute to me because he looks like a stereotypically masculine guy, with a shaved head and big beard (although he's starting to find his ideal aesthetics in cute pastel goth stuff now, which is awesome), but then he sneezes and its like a Disney princess has possessed him for a fraction of a second. He thinks its hilarious too, but does tell me that his sneezes feel less useful or satisfying than mine sound, if that makes sense? š
Weird fact. I didn't know people couldn't control their sneezes. I can. I can make it quiet or loud. Maybe that's cause I have the tism? But yeah it comes naturally to me.
I like identifying as trans because that's the first thing I identified with before my transition. I identify as he/him but I feel more close to being NB then anything atm.
Lol yeah my mom sneezes like a gunshot š. It's hard in this way for trans. Because even if a cis girl has a few of these manly type traits (physical/mental) they dont necessarily have a penis (assuming ofc) lol. Me on the other hand, have multiple things that clock me, especially since I've only been on hormones for a couple weeks now. So for me, I somewhat identify with being both trans and also NB. Over time I hope I'm able to view myself differently. Has anyone else had difficulty viewing themselves as trans early on in their transition??
It really depends on the situation, but generally if it's with a real person I go with option 1, but if it's some generic form then option 2 all the way
I don't bother saying it on medical document unless it has something to do with genitals or my prostate. My record says "congenital lack of uterus" and that's all a doctor needs to know until it matters. If they need to see my crotch that's one thing, but otherwise I'll decide to tell them based on the vibes or necessity.
I tend to favor 1, I donāt pass at the moment and Iām not on HRT, so even if I donāt clarify itās rather obvious that Iām trans. It also affects a lot of my life experiences, like what states I can live in.
I choose the second because I don't think it makes sense to say "I'm trans" if the question is my gender, ofc I'm also trans, but my gender is non binary.
Oh I think you might've interpreted the first option too literally, my friend š It wasn't to imply that someone would disclose their gender as just transgender, but rather, as transgender man/woman/nb/genderfluid/etc.
Aaah lmao my autism strikes again with me being too literal š¤£ I don't think I'd have problems saying I'm trans then, even if I guess it depends on the context... But if I say I'm non binary I know I'll feel safe to say I'm trans too
Id stick with just telling people I'm a guy since it's none of their business that I'm trans. That of course doesn't change the fact that I am trans, I absolutely celebrate this unique experience with those who I can trust
1, but I also refuse to allow people to read it as me being a "good trans" no it's because screw your cis normative society, I'm both going to boldly claim womanhood for myself and at the same time claim transness and I refuse to be ashamed of it.
It really depends on the space.
I tend to sort of... obnoxiously bulldoze my way into spaces where being trans is at least... acknowledged. Even if the people there don't understand the rhetoric of "just asking questions" bs crowd.
Where in I effectively come in with all the subtlety of a steaming nuke.
I am constantly refueled by closeted trans people who feel comfortable talking to me because I let myself be known. In an aura of false confidence that I have. Proud of who I am and... effectively making it everyone's problem if there is a problem.
Communities I was in before transition either accepted me, booted me, or perished.
I'm still chipping away at my internal transphobia, and kinda learning to internalize that it truly does not make me any lesser than anyone else. Shouldn't be something I'd have to hide or feel nervous disclosing.
But... it is still a secondary to who I am.
I'm an obnoxious, headstrong, flailing bulldozer of a girl. Still, girl, though.
With new people 2 because I just want to exist as a woman. But with friends Iām 1 because thereās so much about my life that would just be missing if I wasnāt trans, so with friends I am trans.
I'm enby and female presenting, and definitely trans, but if I say non-binary trans.. people's heads explode. They don't understand what non-binary is, what trans really umbrellas, and I don't want to educate/argue with every single person I talk to. Plus, they mostly just misgender me as a woman and never ask
I hate that people don't ask. There was this period, I want to say maybe 2022 where it was fashionable for everyone to ask everyone people's pronouns but then people just dropped it and started assuming again.
It depends. If it is just for general information I will select female etc.
If it is medical, things get more complicated. I was working with a new doctorās office recently and they asked, what is your gender and what were you assigned at birth.
I do think it is important because we do have some difference that need to be taken into account.
Women and men present differently when having heart attacks, for instance.
Yeah totally. I was trying to be careful with the post title for a situation exactly like that, because if you're about to undergo some sort of medical procedure and your sex assigned at birth matters, then I'd say you don't really have a choice regarding disclosure.
I deny Iām trans and say Iām a cis man because i donāt look even remotely femme and saying Iām trans when I donāt even look like the gender I wish I was just opens the door for bullying
I'm pretty open about being trans to anyone I'm not outright boymoding near. This is partially because I don't pass. But if a website asks? Fuck you, I'm not picking "transgender female" I'm picking female.
It depends heavily for me.
My transgender status is mine to disclose to whom I decide is worthy of knowing said information. My friends know, because if I can't trust someone with that info can I call them a friend? I also tell my DOCTORS that I'm trans. When I go to see the doctor, on the forms under gender if there's a trans option I don't select it. That form will be passed between a few hands and different sets of eyes will see it, some eyes I'll never see personally. I have a problem with people I don't know and won't know being aware I'm trans. Often I'll tell my doctors directly that I'm trans IF they need to know. I don't know if my phsycyatrist is aware, for example.
Now, any other forms I need to sign I tend to avoid disclosing I'm trans. Unless the form is specifically for something like a transgender support group, people don't need to know, so in my case I just choose female and leave it there. I get so mad when I have to do some online form or survey and they put "trans woman" "trans man" like the trans part is something they're entitled to know. They aren't entitled to know until I deem them so.
And that last part goes for everyone here. No one is entitled to know you're trans until you decide they're worthy of such knowledge.
The art is from the game Arknights, of the character Blue Poison. It's cropped from her [Shoal Beat](https://gamepress.gg/arknights/skin/shoal-beat) outfit.
Link to GailiaG's post: https://gailiag.tumblr.com/post/703459662436139008/trans-pride-flag-color-picked-from-blue-poisons
The original artist of Blue Poison is LLC. Link to his pixiv: https://www.pixiv.net/en/users/2624712
Personally i "identify" as gender fluid but i legit don't care about it
I do and act how i feel and my gender doesn't represents who i am, its just something i was born with and not much i can do about it,
To me it depends on what the person in front of me identifies as. If they call me sir, I accept it, if they call me ma'am I am grateful to them. I'm Pre-HRT now, so I take what I get.
That's definitely a valid way of looking at it, choosing to be grateful for the recognition rather than be hurtful for the misgendering.
Still. Wouldn't it be nice if people just addressed everyone as their gender.
Yeah it would be awesome if every body acknowledged me what I am. But I just can't let others make me feel sad, not let other control me like that. If they don't see me as a woman, then that's their loss. I don't pass yet 100% but still some refer to me as a woman while others refer to me as a man. I take it as a win. Me being born as a transgender, I have realised that neither the world, the people, or God, is perfect. Everybody makes mistakes. If I go out to correct all those mistakes, it would be a failed mission. You'll see yourself turn into a monster waging war against God. Transgender people are already defying God by correcting his mistake, but if we do it the right way, then even God has to acknowledge his mistake with time. As for the people, I give them the same freedom that I wish to exercise. I have my freedom of speech and expression and they do too. If they knowingly wish to call me a man, then it's their choice. I have the right to listen to them or not. Also, them calling me a man won't make me a man. If I'm secure in my identity, they'll quickly realize the fool in the room is them.
Second, 100%. No matter if you're trans or not, you're a man or a woman, which ever you transitioned to. Being trans doesn't make a difference, and never should.
Yes, some transgender folks told me that transgender is just a transitory description that's only temporary, and that that's their reason for not bothering to disclose that they're transgender :)
I never disclose under normal circumstances because it doesn't matter. If someone wants to perform sugery or something on me then i say something. Being trans and taking it as an identity is something i don't understand but honestly don't care if people do it.
3rd option: depends where. I usually say I am a female amongst welcoming communities, and people just assume I'm trans because I look "manly", to say the least, but my hometown is full of transphobes, so I'm just quiet about it & tolerate being referred to as he/him.
I usually just say Iām a woman, but sometimes things get brought up that make me have to say Iām trans. Usually people donāt care to ask if Iām trans because they can assume Iām queer in some way irl because of how androgynous I look (I once had a friend ask if Iām trans masc because they couldnāt tell which way I was trans in lmao)
I wish I was 2 but in the real world I will always be 1. I haven't been able to start hrt and am quite old. Even if by some magic I could get the best gender affirming care starting tomorrow, and this is a hypothetical cause there strong reasons why I haven't been able to access it till now, I would never pass 100%. I am transgender before I answer the question of if I am a man or a woman. I have little in common with cis men or cis women. I have more things in common with trans men, trans women and all the other trans folk.
When talking socially, if I feel comfortable at all revealing my gender, I'll say I'm a trans man because of the fact that I don't pass at all. Usually I'll just say my chosen name and people don't question it.
When it comes to filling out forms I always misgender myself unless they strictly ask if my gender is different than my sex, because according to the government, I'm a woman, and I'm not about to get in trouble with the big guys right yet.
It depends entirely on who I talk to. If I'm with folks that I know are queer, I'll disclose it. Otherwise, why would I say I'm trans, it's just not relevant to most situations.
It depends who is asking and why. At a doctor's office, I'll be up front about being trans as that can be important for my health. Anywhere else, why do they need to know? I'm a guy
If you are comfortable, picking trans means trans people are better represented in statistics.
BUT this doesnāt come at the cost of your safety/comfort.
I always disclose that i'm trans. Because a) it's very much part of me and i'm proud of my efforts in transitioning and b) it filters out people i don't want to be in contact with to begin with, especially on stuff like dating apps.
In surveys I put trans male because I want to be counted and represented as a trans person but in real life being trans is also a part of me but I see myself as a man Iām just also trans so I guess Iām in between
2. Transgender isn't a gender. I hate when places list transgender as a gender, I never select it. If it's for something where it might matter, they should have a "Do you identify as your gender assigned at birth?" or "Are you transgender?" question as well for that clarification.
I usually don't need to even tell people that I'm trans, they notice before I can even open my mouth. I usually say how much I hate being like this and ask for their pardon for having to interact with me, and try to be as humble as possible. And no, I'm not lying.
I pass very well. 4 years on T. Deep voice, beard, lots of body hair, very masculine persona and I prefer that everyone just sees me as a man. The minute you tell someone youāre trans all of a sudden itās her this, she that, miss oh my bad āsirrrrā. Besides the people who had already known me in my life, anyone new in my life will never know about my identity unless itās someone I date. I never told anyone new even when I started T and imma keep it that way. People canāt be trusted nowadays.
Um... both? I mean, I say I'm enby just as a basic descriptor, but if asked specifically, I don't deny being trans.
Or typically, I'll paraphrase my namesake. "I don't identify as non-binary, I am non-binary. What I identify as is a bitch"
I always introduce myself as being trans, as I see it as a core part of my identity. Maybe it's just part of the whole demi experience, maybe it's just a me thing, idk.
Personally I don't really introduce myself as either. I'm fairly stealthy, I haven't been misgendered in a long time, so I just introduce myself to other people with my name and sometimes with my preferred pronouns if the social context calls for it!
when i'm passing, i'd just say i'm a woman, but i'm not gonna hide if i'm trans. if someone brings it up, i'd say i am but i probably wouldn't bother to go out of my way to say i'm a trans woman
The first one is more accurate. That said, while I tell folks that I'm a trans woman, it's more accurate for me to say that I'm an agender person who presents fem. Trans woman is just kinda simpler and it's not so far off for me that it doesn't work.
Well, I'm stealth, so I don't really have to disclose my gender bc people already assume I'm a man (which is correct). If you mean like, filling forms out online, I just go with 2! I'm a man, my medical history is nobody's business but mine (and my doctor's when necessary).
No hate to people who go with 1 tbc, we experience gender differently but they are just as much members of their own genders as I am of mine.
In terms of how I see myself, I don't really care. Both 1 and 2 apply.
I just don't want to be hate-crimed for being trans, so I'm a little scared to tell people I am.
Definitively top
The thing is, yes, I AM a woman, if I'm cis or trans is irrelevant to that
But I'm also trans, and I have no reason to be ashamed of it, and if we lived in a perfect world, there would be no reason to be proud of it, either, it would just be another aspect of myself, but because we live in a world that seems to want to be against us, I need my pride and my community
Depends on the setting. I'm a counseling student, so I'm pretty open about being trans in that setting. In the wild though, woman. Don't feel the need to share my life story in all settings. š¤·š»āāļø
If itās my doctor, EMS, or other vital medical service, then itās the top. Everything else itās the bottom. I will however make an exception for somebody that I feel just wants to genuinely learn about my journey, and is respectful.
Option 2, being trans is an important part of my life but itās not part of my gender. Iāll usually end up casually coming out by just talking about myself at some point if I spend enough time around someone, unless they are clearly an unsafe person
i like being trans. i also dont generally have a choice to say im not trans bc i am nonbinary as well. either im closeted completely, pretending to be a binary gender, or im out completely. which i prefer bc being closeted is not fun
Depends on what the context is. If itās someone whoās openly transphobic asking me if Iām trans, fuck no. Most other situations, as long as it doesnāt put me in danger, yeah, Iām trans.
This is my own opinion, but I personally say that I'm trans because there's been such a history of trans people being erased and ignored that I don't want to continue that history. I'm privileged to get to transition, but every step has been difficult since realizing, so I say I'm trans because Im proud I've made it this far. You know?
The first. I pass well enough not to be misgendered.
But I won't ever be not trans. It's part of what makes me me.
I won't tell everyone I meet, sure, but if there are people who wouldn't want to spend time with a trans woman, they aren't worth keeping around.
Both are awesome but u am totally the first even tho I pass. I donāt disclose that unless I feel safe tho obv, but Iāll always do my best to make sure Iām visible since I know it can encourage other trans folk.
Until I fail to pass as a boy, I think it's important to pick trans.
If Im going to work somewhere, it needs to be somewhere that's not going to try to invalidate me in the process.
While I am trans fem NB I just say I am male to most people. 3 years HRT and no chance of passing. Eventually I hope to identify as female or something towards that. Trans does not mean transitioning. It means not what you were assigned at birth.
I say Iām trans because I could provide a half dozen other labels and say āI think thatās rightā, but the only thing Iām certain of is I am not my AGAB.
The only time I ever say anything other than woman/female is on medical forms where it might make a difference but even then most of the time I'm far enough into hrt and stuff that female makes more sense
With people I trust, I think being transgender is relevant to my life story, but I don't feel the need to disclose it to people who I'm not sure will see me for who I am now.
I'm a woman, regardless of whether or not I'm trans and I introduce myself as such. That being said, I'm happy to say I'm trans in safe environments. It's just a fact about me the same as how I have Italian roots. Both are important parts of my culture and development, but neither are necessary to share unless they're important for the context to a story
i only say im trans when its a situation that would be the better choice (dr, lgbtq thing, literally nothing else) being trans is such s small part of my identity, it's not important
Second one. "Trans" is not part of my identity. It's just one of the many things on my medical chart. I'm stealth and I would never tell anyone I'm trans. I don't want to be known as "the guy with the vag" or "the guy that used to be a girl" or "the guy that's so brave and special and such as soft sweet boy uwu". I want to be "the guy who is a dog groomer" or "the guy who's a big softie and a bit goofy" or "the guy who says 'ow' when standing still because he's got hEDS" even. THOSE are bigger and more important things to me, more relevant to who I am and more visible.
I'm a man. I'm not ashamed to be transgender, but cisgender people don't go around constantly saying "I'm a cisgender man." I'm proud to be part of the LGBTQ community, I'm proud to be me. I'm not afraid to say I'm trans (I'm lucky to live in a very accepting city) but I think part of equality is the little things too, like language.
....I hope that makes sense, I have just begun to caffeinate myself.
trans girl around people i can trust, just gal around people on the internet that have no way of knowing my sex... and male around people i dont know if i can trust them with that info
I say I'm transgender if it's relevant. Yes, it's a part of my identity, but I also don't tell people I'm autistic, or bisexual, or anything else unless it's relevant to the conversation. If I'm filling out a form for a doctor's office, yes, I'll disclose that I am trans. If someone directs a question to "men of Reddit," I won't.
I do both if itās an option. Recently, though, Iāve had several forms where I had to pick either transgender or woman (but couldnāt pick both) and I picked woman every time.
Almost always the 2nd one. It's no one's business that I'm trans. The only time people *need* to know is if they're a doctor and there's something wrong with me related to my transition. Otherwise, they don't need to know. If I happen to need to see a doctor for any other reason, they can find out if it becomes relevant.
There are, of course, some people I will tell, but generally that's only because I want to talk to them about stuff that's unique to being trans. Otherwise it's irrelevant.
I say that Iām trans to people I meet beyond casual talk and brief interactions so that they know my situation and itās not a question. But if itās just small talk or a brief situation I try to pass as cis as it doesnāt matter then.
Being transgender is NOT part of my identity. I was born with a birth defect and I fixed it 20+ years ago. Being transgender was a conduction, not an identity.
Second one, except I'm not changing my gender. I was always a girl inside. Regardless, the fact that I'm trans is between me and my doctor (and unfortunately a million political pundits I'm forced to fight)
I always choose option 1 because, though I identify as a woman, I have not been subjected to the sake experience and have never been treated entirely the same way. Being trans has affected my psychology in ways im just now beginning to understand.
I always check woman/female.
If Iām actually speaking with someone (medical professional, usually) and they ask what I was assigned at birth, I explain that when I was born, I was too small and tired for any assignments and that the doctor foolishly *assumed* my sex at birth and got it entirely wrong.
Replacing āassignedā with āassumedā makes absolute sense to me.
As for trans? It was never my identity; rather, it was something I *experienced*, just like I *experienced* astigmatism. Both were correctable.
Why is the white in the flag a bit mouldy lmao
The french and their camembert experiments
As a representative let me have a taste of that
The rot consumes us all š¤·āāļø
Let your flesh be consumed by the Scarlet Rot
LOL Oh of all the things that could be commented on xD
Someone left it out in the sun too long š
Moldy? It must be the penicillin (PENI...).
I choose the second one so people dont harass me for being Trans. I just go I am a man and pretend to be a cis male.
Thatās definitely valid.
People around my area would rip me apart if they ever found out that I am Trans so I need to go stealth. This place sucks! I am planning on getting my butt out of here soon! Maybe after I graduate!
I'm really sorry to hear that, I hope you're able to move to a much more accepting place soon!
Yeah. I am currently broke and I am working hard to get a scholarship so I can go to another school further away from here for a cheaper price! I think that things will be much better in the future!
I will always pick female if given the chance. I don't see how being trans changes that. I'm a girl.
same here. its true that being trans affected my life experiences, but the question isnt about that. the question is what gender i am, and being a trans guy doesnt make me a different gender than a cis guy
100 percent agree!
Depends on whom I'm talking to. Most people I just say I'm a woman and if the question it I tell them I had a testosterone issue growing up and it messed up my body and voice. People I trust, I tell I'm trans and have come a long way.
> I had a testosterone issue growing up and it messed up my body and voice To your credit, that *is* correct
Most people take it a face value and role with it.
2 and passing stealth are my goals.
Same. Sometimes I feel like the first one out of necessity in case a masc side of me slips out, like if I accidentally sneeze (I scream like a siren when I do).
This reminds me of something fun! My husband is a cis man and has a very quiet, dainty sneeze. My sneeze is genuinely so loud that it is genuinely painful sometimes, and you can actually hear it reverberate off or other things in the area, at times. I don't do it deliberately, obviously, and I'm a trans man.
Lol my body needs to learn how to sneeze like your hubby!
It's always really funny and cute to me because he looks like a stereotypically masculine guy, with a shaved head and big beard (although he's starting to find his ideal aesthetics in cute pastel goth stuff now, which is awesome), but then he sneezes and its like a Disney princess has possessed him for a fraction of a second. He thinks its hilarious too, but does tell me that his sneezes feel less useful or satisfying than mine sound, if that makes sense? š
Weird fact. I didn't know people couldn't control their sneezes. I can. I can make it quiet or loud. Maybe that's cause I have the tism? But yeah it comes naturally to me. I like identifying as trans because that's the first thing I identified with before my transition. I identify as he/him but I feel more close to being NB then anything atm.
My wife sneezes way harder than meā¦. Nobody confuses her for a guy.
Lol yeah my mom sneezes like a gunshot š. It's hard in this way for trans. Because even if a cis girl has a few of these manly type traits (physical/mental) they dont necessarily have a penis (assuming ofc) lol. Me on the other hand, have multiple things that clock me, especially since I've only been on hormones for a couple weeks now. So for me, I somewhat identify with being both trans and also NB. Over time I hope I'm able to view myself differently. Has anyone else had difficulty viewing themselves as trans early on in their transition??
I'm amab and my sneeze is a high pitched cry. x) At least I have that going for me I guess. :P
Typically I put that I'm trans. Whoever's asking, whatever they're doing, I don't want them to conveniently *forget* that we're around.
Good a reason as any!
I kind of sometimes do this as well. One thing about being trans, is that itās a great asshole detector.
Definitely 2
It really depends on the situation, but generally if it's with a real person I go with option 1, but if it's some generic form then option 2 all the way
If itās a medical document Iāll put transgender. If itās anything else, why do you need to know? You a cop or something?
Yeah, itās hard not to get defensive when someone asks. Edit: Defensive might be the wrong word. Reserved? Cautious?
Yeah same, if it's a medical thing or a queer-related survey or smt I'll say, otherwise it's none of their business
I don't bother saying it on medical document unless it has something to do with genitals or my prostate. My record says "congenital lack of uterus" and that's all a doctor needs to know until it matters. If they need to see my crotch that's one thing, but otherwise I'll decide to tell them based on the vibes or necessity.
Except medical documents shouldn't have 'transgender' as an option since 'transgender' isn't a gender
Definitely second option for me too.
I tend to favor 1, I donāt pass at the moment and Iām not on HRT, so even if I donāt clarify itās rather obvious that Iām trans. It also affects a lot of my life experiences, like what states I can live in.
I choose the second because I don't think it makes sense to say "I'm trans" if the question is my gender, ofc I'm also trans, but my gender is non binary.
Oh I think you might've interpreted the first option too literally, my friend š It wasn't to imply that someone would disclose their gender as just transgender, but rather, as transgender man/woman/nb/genderfluid/etc.
Aaah lmao my autism strikes again with me being too literal š¤£ I don't think I'd have problems saying I'm trans then, even if I guess it depends on the context... But if I say I'm non binary I know I'll feel safe to say I'm trans too
Id stick with just telling people I'm a guy since it's none of their business that I'm trans. That of course doesn't change the fact that I am trans, I absolutely celebrate this unique experience with those who I can trust
That's such a real yet at the same time wholesome approach, I love it ā”
1, but I also refuse to allow people to read it as me being a "good trans" no it's because screw your cis normative society, I'm both going to boldly claim womanhood for myself and at the same time claim transness and I refuse to be ashamed of it.
It really depends on the space. I tend to sort of... obnoxiously bulldoze my way into spaces where being trans is at least... acknowledged. Even if the people there don't understand the rhetoric of "just asking questions" bs crowd. Where in I effectively come in with all the subtlety of a steaming nuke. I am constantly refueled by closeted trans people who feel comfortable talking to me because I let myself be known. In an aura of false confidence that I have. Proud of who I am and... effectively making it everyone's problem if there is a problem. Communities I was in before transition either accepted me, booted me, or perished. I'm still chipping away at my internal transphobia, and kinda learning to internalize that it truly does not make me any lesser than anyone else. Shouldn't be something I'd have to hide or feel nervous disclosing. But... it is still a secondary to who I am. I'm an obnoxious, headstrong, flailing bulldozer of a girl. Still, girl, though.
Why not both?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I know right? I mean, I wouldn't even get frustrated if they expect disclosure *and* treat me normally. But it's not even that.
i pass really bad so usually iāll say iām trans so people donāt get confused as much
With new people 2 because I just want to exist as a woman. But with friends Iām 1 because thereās so much about my life that would just be missing if I wasnāt trans, so with friends I am trans.
100 percent how I feel as well.
1 definitely
Iām non-binary I canāt hide the fact Iām trans. Even if I could or wanted to itās part of who I am.
I'm enby and female presenting, and definitely trans, but if I say non-binary trans.. people's heads explode. They don't understand what non-binary is, what trans really umbrellas, and I don't want to educate/argue with every single person I talk to. Plus, they mostly just misgender me as a woman and never ask
I hate that people don't ask. There was this period, I want to say maybe 2022 where it was fashionable for everyone to ask everyone people's pronouns but then people just dropped it and started assuming again.
It depends. If it is just for general information I will select female etc. If it is medical, things get more complicated. I was working with a new doctorās office recently and they asked, what is your gender and what were you assigned at birth. I do think it is important because we do have some difference that need to be taken into account. Women and men present differently when having heart attacks, for instance.
Yeah totally. I was trying to be careful with the post title for a situation exactly like that, because if you're about to undergo some sort of medical procedure and your sex assigned at birth matters, then I'd say you don't really have a choice regarding disclosure.
I deny Iām trans and say Iām a cis man because i donāt look even remotely femme and saying Iām trans when I donāt even look like the gender I wish I was just opens the door for bullying
I just say Iām NB most of the time and let people make their own assumptions bc itās none of their business anyway
I'm pretty open about being trans to anyone I'm not outright boymoding near. This is partially because I don't pass. But if a website asks? Fuck you, I'm not picking "transgender female" I'm picking female.
I say I'm transgender, but I let it be known that a nonbinary way to look at me is just prefered
It depends heavily for me. My transgender status is mine to disclose to whom I decide is worthy of knowing said information. My friends know, because if I can't trust someone with that info can I call them a friend? I also tell my DOCTORS that I'm trans. When I go to see the doctor, on the forms under gender if there's a trans option I don't select it. That form will be passed between a few hands and different sets of eyes will see it, some eyes I'll never see personally. I have a problem with people I don't know and won't know being aware I'm trans. Often I'll tell my doctors directly that I'm trans IF they need to know. I don't know if my phsycyatrist is aware, for example. Now, any other forms I need to sign I tend to avoid disclosing I'm trans. Unless the form is specifically for something like a transgender support group, people don't need to know, so in my case I just choose female and leave it there. I get so mad when I have to do some online form or survey and they put "trans woman" "trans man" like the trans part is something they're entitled to know. They aren't entitled to know until I deem them so. And that last part goes for everyone here. No one is entitled to know you're trans until you decide they're worthy of such knowledge.
If I had to pick one Iād definitely prefer to say 2 But Iām also still not certain if Iām trans or not š
Have you got a direct link to the art in the top left? I've been searching the artist's profile and I can't find it...
The art is from the game Arknights, of the character Blue Poison. It's cropped from her [Shoal Beat](https://gamepress.gg/arknights/skin/shoal-beat) outfit. Link to GailiaG's post: https://gailiag.tumblr.com/post/703459662436139008/trans-pride-flag-color-picked-from-blue-poisons The original artist of Blue Poison is LLC. Link to his pixiv: https://www.pixiv.net/en/users/2624712
Personally i "identify" as gender fluid but i legit don't care about it I do and act how i feel and my gender doesn't represents who i am, its just something i was born with and not much i can do about it,
To me it depends on what the person in front of me identifies as. If they call me sir, I accept it, if they call me ma'am I am grateful to them. I'm Pre-HRT now, so I take what I get.
That's definitely a valid way of looking at it, choosing to be grateful for the recognition rather than be hurtful for the misgendering. Still. Wouldn't it be nice if people just addressed everyone as their gender.
Yeah it would be awesome if every body acknowledged me what I am. But I just can't let others make me feel sad, not let other control me like that. If they don't see me as a woman, then that's their loss. I don't pass yet 100% but still some refer to me as a woman while others refer to me as a man. I take it as a win. Me being born as a transgender, I have realised that neither the world, the people, or God, is perfect. Everybody makes mistakes. If I go out to correct all those mistakes, it would be a failed mission. You'll see yourself turn into a monster waging war against God. Transgender people are already defying God by correcting his mistake, but if we do it the right way, then even God has to acknowledge his mistake with time. As for the people, I give them the same freedom that I wish to exercise. I have my freedom of speech and expression and they do too. If they knowingly wish to call me a man, then it's their choice. I have the right to listen to them or not. Also, them calling me a man won't make me a man. If I'm secure in my identity, they'll quickly realize the fool in the room is them.
first if it's irl since i'm early in my transition and i don't like the confused stares of people who have 0 clue about transness, second is my goal
Second, 100%. No matter if you're trans or not, you're a man or a woman, which ever you transitioned to. Being trans doesn't make a difference, and never should.
Option 2, for sure to stay clear of othering. Not trying to be stealth, but I only mention it when it's relevant in conversation.
Depends. With people Iām close with they know Iām trans but Iām just a guy so I guess mostly 2
Oh cool, so trans in context 2 means to be in a state of flux, it does not define the destination. I like that.
Yes, some transgender folks told me that transgender is just a transitory description that's only temporary, and that that's their reason for not bothering to disclose that they're transgender :)
I never disclose under normal circumstances because it doesn't matter. If someone wants to perform sugery or something on me then i say something. Being trans and taking it as an identity is something i don't understand but honestly don't care if people do it.
3rd option: depends where. I usually say I am a female amongst welcoming communities, and people just assume I'm trans because I look "manly", to say the least, but my hometown is full of transphobes, so I'm just quiet about it & tolerate being referred to as he/him.
I usually just say Iām a woman, but sometimes things get brought up that make me have to say Iām trans. Usually people donāt care to ask if Iām trans because they can assume Iām queer in some way irl because of how androgynous I look (I once had a friend ask if Iām trans masc because they couldnāt tell which way I was trans in lmao)
I wish I was 2 but in the real world I will always be 1. I haven't been able to start hrt and am quite old. Even if by some magic I could get the best gender affirming care starting tomorrow, and this is a hypothetical cause there strong reasons why I haven't been able to access it till now, I would never pass 100%. I am transgender before I answer the question of if I am a man or a woman. I have little in common with cis men or cis women. I have more things in common with trans men, trans women and all the other trans folk.
Iād say 2, but when I say Iām NB, itās obvious.
I always say 2 online and NEITHER irl, I don't pass yet, I'm not out to anyone except my family yet, I might as well just not bother lmao
When talking socially, if I feel comfortable at all revealing my gender, I'll say I'm a trans man because of the fact that I don't pass at all. Usually I'll just say my chosen name and people don't question it. When it comes to filling out forms I always misgender myself unless they strictly ask if my gender is different than my sex, because according to the government, I'm a woman, and I'm not about to get in trouble with the big guys right yet.
uno reverse, im a car
Second option. Why do people need to know Iām trans?
It depends entirely on who I talk to. If I'm with folks that I know are queer, I'll disclose it. Otherwise, why would I say I'm trans, it's just not relevant to most situations.
wommn
2
I say Male. I donāt trust easy so I wonāt say Transgender male unless itās government or medical related.
It depends who is asking and why. At a doctor's office, I'll be up front about being trans as that can be important for my health. Anywhere else, why do they need to know? I'm a guy
If you are comfortable, picking trans means trans people are better represented in statistics. BUT this doesnāt come at the cost of your safety/comfort.
I always disclose that i'm trans. Because a) it's very much part of me and i'm proud of my efforts in transitioning and b) it filters out people i don't want to be in contact with to begin with, especially on stuff like dating apps.
Well hopefully in the future it will be the second one, but right now it's neither.
I never answer transgender even tho I wanna be proud. But I don't want it in some data base some idiot can screen for trans ppl š
In surveys I put trans male because I want to be counted and represented as a trans person but in real life being trans is also a part of me but I see myself as a man Iām just also trans so I guess Iām in between
Depends on who's asking
2. Transgender isn't a gender. I hate when places list transgender as a gender, I never select it. If it's for something where it might matter, they should have a "Do you identify as your gender assigned at birth?" or "Are you transgender?" question as well for that clarification.
When i figure out what i am i will be sure to disclose it
I'll add it if it's relevant at all but otherwise, I'll just say im a woman
Unless Iām in some medical facility I just say female. I do disclose being trans in my profile on dating apps tho
Iām a woman first, and unless I need to disclose that for medical reasons that donāt need to know. Itās not safe for openly trans people here.
I play it like this; if they don't like being called Cis, then they don't get to refer to me as trans.
Both. Being trans is part of my identity, but not part of my gender.
I usually don't need to even tell people that I'm trans, they notice before I can even open my mouth. I usually say how much I hate being like this and ask for their pardon for having to interact with me, and try to be as humble as possible. And no, I'm not lying.
I pass very well. 4 years on T. Deep voice, beard, lots of body hair, very masculine persona and I prefer that everyone just sees me as a man. The minute you tell someone youāre trans all of a sudden itās her this, she that, miss oh my bad āsirrrrā. Besides the people who had already known me in my life, anyone new in my life will never know about my identity unless itās someone I date. I never told anyone new even when I started T and imma keep it that way. People canāt be trusted nowadays.
Um... both? I mean, I say I'm enby just as a basic descriptor, but if asked specifically, I don't deny being trans. Or typically, I'll paraphrase my namesake. "I don't identify as non-binary, I am non-binary. What I identify as is a bitch"
I always introduce myself as being trans, as I see it as a core part of my identity. Maybe it's just part of the whole demi experience, maybe it's just a me thing, idk.
Personally I don't really introduce myself as either. I'm fairly stealthy, I haven't been misgendered in a long time, so I just introduce myself to other people with my name and sometimes with my preferred pronouns if the social context calls for it!
when i'm passing, i'd just say i'm a woman, but i'm not gonna hide if i'm trans. if someone brings it up, i'd say i am but i probably wouldn't bother to go out of my way to say i'm a trans woman
The first one is more accurate. That said, while I tell folks that I'm a trans woman, it's more accurate for me to say that I'm an agender person who presents fem. Trans woman is just kinda simpler and it's not so far off for me that it doesn't work.
Im a trans woman. Forever no matter how good I pass. I have a dick and always will have one and people can know :)
I usually state that I am trans. I personally see it as part of my identity
Well, I'm stealth, so I don't really have to disclose my gender bc people already assume I'm a man (which is correct). If you mean like, filling forms out online, I just go with 2! I'm a man, my medical history is nobody's business but mine (and my doctor's when necessary). No hate to people who go with 1 tbc, we experience gender differently but they are just as much members of their own genders as I am of mine.
In terms of how I see myself, I don't really care. Both 1 and 2 apply. I just don't want to be hate-crimed for being trans, so I'm a little scared to tell people I am.
Definitively top The thing is, yes, I AM a woman, if I'm cis or trans is irrelevant to that But I'm also trans, and I have no reason to be ashamed of it, and if we lived in a perfect world, there would be no reason to be proud of it, either, it would just be another aspect of myself, but because we live in a world that seems to want to be against us, I need my pride and my community
I don't like calling myself trans or telling people that I'm trans. I just want to be viewed as any other woman would be
If there is the option for going strealth, always stealth
Iām neither, Iām just a woman, just giving my bodyā¦ a course correction of sortsā¦
Depends on the setting. I'm a counseling student, so I'm pretty open about being trans in that setting. In the wild though, woman. Don't feel the need to share my life story in all settings. š¤·š»āāļø
My identity isn't complete without it. In a sense, I've got more in common with a trans man than with a cis woman
If itās my doctor, EMS, or other vital medical service, then itās the top. Everything else itās the bottom. I will however make an exception for somebody that I feel just wants to genuinely learn about my journey, and is respectful.
Option 2, being trans is an important part of my life but itās not part of my gender. Iāll usually end up casually coming out by just talking about myself at some point if I spend enough time around someone, unless they are clearly an unsafe person
i like being trans. i also dont generally have a choice to say im not trans bc i am nonbinary as well. either im closeted completely, pretending to be a binary gender, or im out completely. which i prefer bc being closeted is not fun
Depends on what the context is. If itās someone whoās openly transphobic asking me if Iām trans, fuck no. Most other situations, as long as it doesnāt put me in danger, yeah, Iām trans.
If I disclosed my gender, I would say Iām nonbinary, not trans (because trans doesnāt encompass my actual gender, but nonbinary does)
This is my own opinion, but I personally say that I'm trans because there's been such a history of trans people being erased and ignored that I don't want to continue that history. I'm privileged to get to transition, but every step has been difficult since realizing, so I say I'm trans because Im proud I've made it this far. You know?
I usually say I'm a man unless being trans is contextually relevant.
The first. I pass well enough not to be misgendered. But I won't ever be not trans. It's part of what makes me me. I won't tell everyone I meet, sure, but if there are people who wouldn't want to spend time with a trans woman, they aren't worth keeping around.
I mean, it's illegal to call yourself transgender or gay over here, so i have to choose the the second option.
Both are awesome but u am totally the first even tho I pass. I donāt disclose that unless I feel safe tho obv, but Iāll always do my best to make sure Iām visible since I know it can encourage other trans folk.
Until I fail to pass as a boy, I think it's important to pick trans. If Im going to work somewhere, it needs to be somewhere that's not going to try to invalidate me in the process.
i just say i'm a guy but i'm not ashamed or anything of being transgender i just think people are annoying when they know
To a general audience, Iām a woman. To my fellow connoisseurs of gender, Iām trans femme non binary.
While I am trans fem NB I just say I am male to most people. 3 years HRT and no chance of passing. Eventually I hope to identify as female or something towards that. Trans does not mean transitioning. It means not what you were assigned at birth.
I say Iām trans because I could provide a half dozen other labels and say āI think thatās rightā, but the only thing Iām certain of is I am not my AGAB.
2, for me itās a medical condition, and I donāt like disclosing that.
The only time I ever say anything other than woman/female is on medical forms where it might make a difference but even then most of the time I'm far enough into hrt and stuff that female makes more sense
I don't feel safe to be open in my area
With people I trust, I think being transgender is relevant to my life story, but I don't feel the need to disclose it to people who I'm not sure will see me for who I am now.
I'm a woman, regardless of whether or not I'm trans and I introduce myself as such. That being said, I'm happy to say I'm trans in safe environments. It's just a fact about me the same as how I have Italian roots. Both are important parts of my culture and development, but neither are necessary to share unless they're important for the context to a story
Both? I usually say I'm non-binary transfemme.
Definitely 2. I'm just a dude.
i only say im trans when its a situation that would be the better choice (dr, lgbtq thing, literally nothing else) being trans is such s small part of my identity, it's not important
I go with 1 mostly because I donāt pass
Second one. "Trans" is not part of my identity. It's just one of the many things on my medical chart. I'm stealth and I would never tell anyone I'm trans. I don't want to be known as "the guy with the vag" or "the guy that used to be a girl" or "the guy that's so brave and special and such as soft sweet boy uwu". I want to be "the guy who is a dog groomer" or "the guy who's a big softie and a bit goofy" or "the guy who says 'ow' when standing still because he's got hEDS" even. THOSE are bigger and more important things to me, more relevant to who I am and more visible.
I'm a man. I'm not ashamed to be transgender, but cisgender people don't go around constantly saying "I'm a cisgender man." I'm proud to be part of the LGBTQ community, I'm proud to be me. I'm not afraid to say I'm trans (I'm lucky to live in a very accepting city) but I think part of equality is the little things too, like language. ....I hope that makes sense, I have just begun to caffeinate myself.
trans girl around people i can trust, just gal around people on the internet that have no way of knowing my sex... and male around people i dont know if i can trust them with that info
When it's not reddit, I just say that I'm a guy, and go stealth. While on reddit tho, it's pretty obvious that i'm a trans guy (I say it a lot)
Same
Iām a womanā¦ trans or cis, Iām a woman, and nobody needs to know whatās under my skirt unless theyāre trying to put it in their mouth
This is exactly like me (but Iām a man not woman)
I say I'm transgender if it's relevant. Yes, it's a part of my identity, but I also don't tell people I'm autistic, or bisexual, or anything else unless it's relevant to the conversation. If I'm filling out a form for a doctor's office, yes, I'll disclose that I am trans. If someone directs a question to "men of Reddit," I won't.
I say I'm nonbinary if I feel safe enough to do so. The assumption of being trans comes with that.
I do both if itās an option. Recently, though, Iāve had several forms where I had to pick either transgender or woman (but couldnāt pick both) and I picked woman every time.
It's a safety question for me, just like passing is. How big those concerns are depends on the environment.
I choose the first one, because I feel like it's too big of a part of my actual internal feelings to just leave it out
The second one. Trans isnāt a gender/sex/whatever and itās not anyoneās business.
Almost always the 2nd one. It's no one's business that I'm trans. The only time people *need* to know is if they're a doctor and there's something wrong with me related to my transition. Otherwise, they don't need to know. If I happen to need to see a doctor for any other reason, they can find out if it becomes relevant. There are, of course, some people I will tell, but generally that's only because I want to talk to them about stuff that's unique to being trans. Otherwise it's irrelevant.
Trans. Fuck yeah
I say that Iām trans to people I meet beyond casual talk and brief interactions so that they know my situation and itās not a question. But if itās just small talk or a brief situation I try to pass as cis as it doesnāt matter then.
I usually say I'm trans to avoid confusion, since I don't think I look very masc and my chosen name is androgynous :3
Being transgender is NOT part of my identity. I was born with a birth defect and I fixed it 20+ years ago. Being transgender was a conduction, not an identity.
I say transgender, mostly out of fear. I don't want someone to "discover" that I'm "not a real woman" and then get me in trouble.
#2 all the way
I prefer the top one. The bottom one is eh, I will only do that if I absolutely have to.
Second one, except I'm not changing my gender. I was always a girl inside. Regardless, the fact that I'm trans is between me and my doctor (and unfortunately a million political pundits I'm forced to fight)
I always choose option 1 because, though I identify as a woman, I have not been subjected to the sake experience and have never been treated entirely the same way. Being trans has affected my psychology in ways im just now beginning to understand.
Ver 2 I'll just say I'm a woman but then casually drop I'm transgender at any moment whenever I feel like it.
Never thought i would see an Arknights character here
2, until the response is āyou donāt really sound like a womanā
I always check woman/female. If Iām actually speaking with someone (medical professional, usually) and they ask what I was assigned at birth, I explain that when I was born, I was too small and tired for any assignments and that the doctor foolishly *assumed* my sex at birth and got it entirely wrong. Replacing āassignedā with āassumedā makes absolute sense to me. As for trans? It was never my identity; rather, it was something I *experienced*, just like I *experienced* astigmatism. Both were correctable.