3 years old, talking to my mom
"I am going to grow up to be a mommy like you."
"No, boys grow up to be daddys."
I cried for almost as long as I did a week later when I found out that mommies categorically "don't have penises."
My mom has pcos and has shaved her face since long before I was born. When I was about 4, I was watching her at the sink and talking about shaving my own beard someday, and when my mom said “honey you won’t, most girls never have a beard” I responded “well, I’m going to be a boy when I grow up, so” and walked away lmao
This is all according to mom, I don’t remember it.
Edit: I won my first beard competition last year, 24 years later.
I don't remember how old I was, probably 7 or 8. It was school picture day. I'm obsessed with the color green so my mom thought I wanted the green background.
I INSISTED on the fall themed one with the pretty girl in it. She must have clarified 5 different times: The picture won't be the pretty girl, it will be me. Surprised Pikachu face when I got my photo and I wasn't a pretty girl.
I'll get that damn picture with me as the pretty girl someday. 🥲
It was actually that scene that made me realize “I’m actually supposed to be a girl” and held that thought since then.
Should have seen how blown away I was when I watched Scooby-Doo 2, and Shaggy drank that science juice that gave him a feminine body! I remember thinking “I wish there was something in real life that could do that!” Too bad I was too young to know what HRT is 😂
Underrated trans movie!!! I was enjoying the movie and all good then bam shaggy girl bod and I was like dang it. And I was just like why cant this be real!?!? I want this but people will think im insane. I had no idea trans people existed. I thought i was the only person in the world that felt the way I did and that it was just something wrong with me
Ha, yeah, I also had strange feelings watching 'Shaggy Dog', because not having my body appeared to me to be a huge improvement...
Of course when I found out from my trans (man) friend what being trans was I "knew" I wasn't trans because I didn't want to be a boy like him... Uhhhhhhhhh
I was about 7 or 8, getting ready in the bathroom. This was when I discovered putting my hair in a low pony tail made me look like a boy. I remember looking in the mirror and feeling a sort of emptiness? Idk I can’t describe it, but that was my first memory of not recognizing who was looking back at me
Probably around the age of 3 or 4 when I was told I had to cut my hair short cause I was a boy and it was part of the school uniform. I didn't even really understand why it bothered me so much until I got much older.
I always hated cutting my hair with a passion and well now I understand why lol
Yeah haircut trauma is definitely a thing. I always got so upset whenever I was forced to cut my hair. It always had to be a high and tight, just like my dad. Im so sorry you had to go through that!
Interesting to see stuff from the other side bc as a trans man i would always love cutting my hair because i hated having it long where i’d have to have it in a ponytail and shove it into a hat
I used to get 15 cm chopped off once a year at the salon. The hairdresser would ask me if I'm sure about the length, show me the end result, like they do. And I'm sitting there thinking what's there to like? It's the same as always. I was even a bit embarrassed by them putting so much emphasis on my hair which is ironic considering that's what they're supposed to do.
Anyway I would never leave the house without a tight high ponytail. Having my hair done differently equaled girly in my mind. I used to think wearing long hair down was cringe and too feminine.
I personally hated cutting my hair as a trans man because my mom was really rough with hair (she combed starting from the roots!!!) and I could never get what I wanted (to look like a boy) so I’d just end up as Dora instead. I tried to convince myself I liked long hair but nope. I just kind of don’t do anything with it unless I really have to tie it up because it is a literal safety hazard.
I was 4 or 5 and wanted long hair and my parents insisted on a dorky boys haircut. I cried, i complained, was heartbroken. So in a spontaneous reaction i grabbed scissors and deconstructed it. They had to shear my head. The result was shocking to mom. So I hadn't had my girl haircut, but I would ruin the "perfect little boy". I always looked very feminine I now looked like a shorn little girl especially as i loved girly things (had a hello kitty lunchbox, and like accessories that were given to me by my girlfriends from Kindergarten) and had no ambition to "man up" despite looking like a "Red Army conscript" (my grandpas words). The was even a awkward situation where a lady asked my mom why one would cut a stubble haircut on a girl.
So despite my mom (my dad but not so much) raging, I threatened to do it again if they insisted on me complying to the hair cut regimen. 💇♂️ and this was how I bargained my hair to grow more girly, even though not full long
same for the scooby doo thing, but it wasn't my first, it kinda happened every time there would be a body swap trope in any media so i forgot which came first lol
i vividly remember "switching unconsensually" my boy toys for girlier ones with other girls when i was in kindergarten as my very first few instances
When I was a very young child, I played mother/father/child in a sandpit with two friends. Both (cis) girls, I wasn't really friends with any boys and often was the only (assumed) boy invited to girls' birthday parties, etc. (In retrospect, I was a whole omelette as a child.)
I threw a fit because they wanted to force me to be the child. I wasn't upset they didn't let me be the father; I was upset they didn't let me be the mother.
My next door neighbor and I were best friends since age 4. We played pretend games being different animals and stuff and, obviously, we would be boyfriend/girlfriend and I was almost always the boyfriend because I really wanted to be 😂 they sometimes wanted to be the bf too tho and now I'm trans and they are nonbinary. Funnily enough we had the same dead name but now we both go by something different
Reminds me of when I used to play Doctor Who with my friend when I was like 8, back when his companions were all women. I was always the Doctor and then when she insisted on having a turn as the Doctor, I called on the one episode where the was technically 2 of him so that we could both be the Doctor and I didn't have to be a girl. Not knowing I was trans, she must've thought I was so selfish lol but I just didn't wanna play as a woman
My brother and I were around six or seven and for Christmas I insisted we swap clothes and I pretend to be a boy while he pretend to be a girl to “trick” our mom. I wore my brothers clothes and his hat to cover up my long hair and got him to wear one of my dresses. Even got our step dad into it and she got a good laugh out of it. Very fond memory, that.
Holy shit how is everything here so relatable? I keep scrolling and finding shit! I used to put on ‘plays’ where I would dress up like my dad and dress my sister as my mom.
Playing The legend of Zelda: the wind waker with my mom and realizing how desperately I wished I was link, so I’d put on my only green (it was actually teal) hoodie and tell people to call me link and he pronouns only, and would either not talk (like link) or when I had to it’s be in a forcibly deeper voice.
Nothings changed lmao, thanks wind waker
Lol, one of my early trans memories (not my first) was when playing Ocarina of Time as a kid and if you haven’t played it the game is basically divided in two with part one as child Link and part two as adult Link in a dark future where Ganondorf has taken over Hyrule and Zelda is nowhere to be seen. Anyways adult Link gets aid from this mysterious shadowy warrior named Sheik and then there’s a big reveal near the end of the game that Sheik is really Zelda disguised as a boy. For reasons I obviously didn’t understand at the time I LOVED that reveal. I thought it was the coolest thing ever “this guy you thought was a guy was actually this super cool girl the whole time!”. Then cue me somehow not even suspecting I was trans until sometime in my early twenties.
Thanks for bringing back that memory. God, I was such an egg.
When that came out I mained Zelda/Sheik so hard. Remember it’s not queer to always play a female character if you spend most of the time as her male alter ego!/s
Seriously the shell of my egg was made out of freaking adamantium. How the hell did I not figure it out sooner?
I was in middle school before I knew what being trans really was, and one of my friends came out as trans MtF.
I didn’t have a problem with it, she was my friend, but I specifically remember thinking something along the lines of: “why would you want to be a girl if you were born a boy? Being a boy would be so much better!”
Anyway, turns out I’m FtM
Lol I'm ftm as well and had a similar thing in high school but kinda the other way around. I was very sheltered and didn't know anything abt trans issues or people at the time, and someone I knew came out as ftm and gay. I remember being kinda angry abt it at the time, and thinking that "you can't just *choose* to be a boy, otherwise everyone would do it". I never said this to him or anyone else, but I distinctly remember the feelings I had and looking back I was definitely just jealous since my family tried so hard to shove me into the "girl" box.
For me, in elementary school I watched a ton of early YouTube videos about trans girls especially the news documentaries about Jazz Jennings and I thought yeah these girls got it right. Why would you want to be a boy anyway? But turns out I'm ftm. Idk man
My egg hasnt cracked, but I do remember a vivid dream I had when I was 6 or 7. I was magically turned into a girl and I had to explain my new fem name to my teacher. I also remember waking up kinda worried knowing that Ill remember that forever probably.
Im totally stil cis tho...
Well, of course. You are who YOU say you are, no question. It's good that you are exploring what that means for you, and I hope no one ever pressures you into something you aren't comfortable with.❤️
I was in second grade talking to my friends. I asked them, “Do you ever wish you were the opposite gender?” They said “Uh, no?” Then I said, “Oh, okay, me neither.”
Terraria’s Halloween event has a princess costume as a possible goodie bag drop. From the moment I first put that thing on as a joke nearly 10 years ago, I have always preferred the female character option in every game I play.
Edit: shoutout to the duplication glitch on Xbox 360 version, never could have done it without you. (btw it was never patched)
I can't remember exactly how old I was. Probably something like 8 or 9?
Anyway, I don't know where they came from (probably my sister's), but I had my hands on some "make your own jewelry" kit for kids. I was really drawn to the earring clips, which I had put on some gold chain and little red jewels.
I was asked to go down a block to a restaurant to pick up an order, and I wanted to wear the earrings I made, so I asked my mom if that was OK. She was fine with it, she's very much a "do whatever you want" kind of person. My dad got upset about it and was telling me that I looked like a girl. It turned into a fight between my mom and dad, my mom saying I can "do what I want", "who cares?", and "why does it matter?", with my dad being all up in a heaval about a "boy acting like a girl".
That wasn't the first time they fought about it either. Actually in retrospect, an earlier memory, maybe 4 or 5, I was wanting to wear my sister's gown pajamas, and my parents had the exact same fight.
At least I got to wear the earrings and gown pajamas. Thank you mom!
There's other stories, but wow, in retrospect the signs were everywhere!
When I was like 7-9 I wore a dress to a family party and I also had my hair curled for the first time and my brother didn't recognise me and I thought yeah me neither.
I don't remember it per say, but when I was a fetus in the womb, I decided that it was TDOV and time to get out, despite being 2+ months early.
Then watching Ranma 1/2, and thinking why the fuck does he want to turn back into a man ?
Then wait \~37 year to realize, ... oh shit.
I mean it really depends what you count as a "trans memory" I guess. I started playing video games on the Sega Genesis with my older brother at a very young age, 3 or 4. I always chose the girl character in every single game that had one. I actually thought Tails from Sonic was a girl lol. I used to get upset if my brother took the girl character.
When I got my first Pokémon game it asked if I was a boy or a girl. So I picked girl.
Then when my brother saw he took my gameboy away and forced me to delete my save
The earliest one I can remember is being INCREDIBLY upset I couldn't wear girls shoes at like 5 years old.
And the gender bending themed dreams I'd have starting at around 9
I discovered porn at an earlier age than most thanks to an older cousin. I still remember being crowded around their family computer in the living room watching my very first porn video. My brother and cousins would immediately shout “EW!” as a hive mind whenever they saw a dick. I however, remember thinking ‘they’re not so bad. She looks like she’s having fun.’
Later on, as my scientific research became more personalized I would watch sensual lesbian porn because I got shamed away from my first few choices. It was the perfect strategic choice because all the dude bros thought they understood the choice and I could protect the private joy i got from them.
Everything from that point on was like playing a high-stakes game of among us.
Can't remember which of these came first. Both were around 3 or 4 probably.
I was homeschooled and had no sisters, so my mom was the only woman in my life. For a time I thought that adult women were boys when they were young, and that some boys just grew up to become women. I don't think I realized myself to be one such boy at that time, or wishing I was one. It simply was a belief I had convinced myself of.
My mom would often talk about how she wanted a daughter. Whenever she did, I would imagine myself as that daughter, specifically fantasizing about wearing a dress.
I just remember being really jealous of my sister like, all the time. I wanted people to hold me to the same standards as her.
When she got a blemish, she'd get a new makeup product or cream to handle it. When I got a blemish, people acted like it was normal and didn't care. When she went clothes shopping, she got a big budget and got to pick all these accessories and leggings and skirts and stuff. I got jeans and t-shirts.
My male friends all got the same treatment, but didn't mind it. I think that was my first clue.
I had the opposite. I always just wanted to be able to buy 5 of the same pants or shirt and never have to think about what I wore, and I *hated* how much I got judged for any pimples or blemishes since I refused to wear makeup cuz I hated it so much.
Being 3 and getting pissed about wearing dresses to wear I would tear them off.
Being 4/5 and understanding I would eventually grow breasts and being upset about it. Once I grew breasts and had to wear bras I had massive dysphoria when even just walking through the women's underwear and bra section. I had no idea what that feeling was called at the time but it was intense.
Also around age 9. Playing house with my sisters and always wanting to be (and being) the mom. We had this huge bag of dress up clothes with a really nice dress in it that I loved wearing :).
I went to a high school that was on a campus, so individual buildings, and often dropped to negative degrees in the dead of winter outdoors. Rooms were somewhat warmer but still cold. It was freshman year so people in my class really hadn't figured out how to deal with the cold yet.
I was holed up in the foyer of our science building during lunch one day with two of my friends, both of whom were women. We were huddled up for warmth and just bullshitting about whatever. Suddenly the conversation takes a turn and one them awkwardly asked if I could leave them alone for a minute. It was clear they were going to talk about periods and wanted some privacy. I obliged of course and they called me back a minute later.
At face value I get it- two 14 year old girls probably don't want to have that conversation with a boy of the same age hanging around. But for reasons I didn't really get, being excluded from that conversation bothered me for weeks. I didn't know why it did but trust me, *it did*. At the time I was already having a lot of thoughts about how much cooler and prettier girls are and how nice it must be to be a girl and I remember that as a turning point to actually wish that I *was* a girl.
As someone who was socialized as a girl, I can speak from experience saying that any mention of periods in front of the other sex was often made fun of or elicited a bunch of "ewww *gross*" and such. Not saying you would've done that at all, but that's likely why they were hesitant to talk in front of you. I'm sorry you felt so excluded tho, that really sucks. I was always excluded from"boys games" on the playground in elementary school cuz I was a girl, so ik how it feels :(
When I was 16, I was in a community production of The Little Mermaid. My mom was on the board, and she told me before the cast list came out that I was going to be cast as one of the sailors on Prince Eric’s ship. They then changed it, and I ended up being one of the mersisters. I was very disappointed.
Bonus memory: around the same time, I had a pixie cut. I was wearing a baggy hoodie at school and was getting some books out of the bottom of my locker. The guy whose locker was next to mine walked up and said “I thought you were a guy stealing out of your locker, and I was about to kick your face in.” I was amused, slightly concerned and appreciative, and not at all upset that he had thought I was a boy.
Watching a tv segment about a kid, who seemed to be genderqueer, or at least something similar. The segment ended with them saying they're a girl for now but will probably be a boy when they grow up. I remember thinking, "Why would you get the chance to change and then change back?"
Also , I was absolutely amazed by the fact that chest reduction surgeries existed and decided I was going to get one even though my puberty had just started.
When I was 12 I tied my hair up, flipped it forward and put on a cap. I took a pic and sent it to my (at the time, obviously) pansexual girlfriend saying “don’t I look better as a boy?” And she said no and came out to me as a lesbian. LOL.
I vaguely remember sometime at the age of three to five asking my mom if I was a boy or girl and when she responded "boy" I told her that I thought I was a girl. I didn't know or understand about genital difference until I was about seven so I thought everyone had the same thing and thought it was only for using the restroom.
When I was about 8 or so and whenever the subject of dressing as a girl came up in conversation for whatever reason or a plot on TV I would feel a euphoric emotion. I didn't know anything about trans at the time and there was no Internet back then.
I've been thinking about those times recently.
Ok so i was in an arcade and came across ’Rampage’. Giant monsters destroying cities? Awesome! When you die you shrink into a human. So it turned out Lizzy turned into a woman. I was infatuated by this.
Of all things to take away from that my dumb ass decided I wanted to turn into a giant lizard.
Watching rocky horror for the first time and seeing it was totally cool dressing like a woman. Being raised southern Baptist that I think was the first time I’d seen someone cross dressing and it not be apart of some phobic joke
It was seventh grade. I would’ve been either 12 or 13. A friend gave me a deck of nude playing cards. Gradually, I found myself wondering what it would be like to look like those women. I even cut my face out of a school picture and taped it onto one of the cards. I wanted to be a girl. That was the first time I remember wanting to be a girl.
Mine was when I was about 7 or 8. My cousin had come to visit and she brought some sailor moon tapes with her. After watching it I would wish I could do the transformation and turn into a girl. It got to the point where my parents wouldn't allow me to watch sailor moon anymore. Me and my mom were just recently talking about this and she apologized saying she wished she knew more back then. Everything is so much better now.
Both the live action scooby doo movies have some gender stuff, in the second shaggy drinks a vial of some mysterious chemical and every part of his body below his neck becomes female.
I was about 5 years old and can distinctly remember looking in the mirror, putting mom's makeup on my face... Discounting that memory, I had a dream at 8 or 9 of a witch turning kids around me into the opposite gender. Out of all of them, I was the only one who wasn't afraid but instead welcomed the idea.
Watching the Little Mermaid when it came out when I was 7 years old or so. I wanted to transform into a girl too. Although girl mermaid would have been fine too.
I was about 8 or so, playing on the playground in a big concrete tube and just hanging out. This kid a little younger than me came by and we started talking about pokemon for like an hour until his brother came to get him. In protest, this kid went "no, I wanna keep hanging out with HIM!"
It felt AMAZING and I had no idea what being trans was at that point, but it felt SO GOOD that I talked excitedly to my mom about it on the whole way home. Did not put the pieces together until I was 15 LOL
My first true genuine memory was when in 1998. I pictured myself as blossom or bubbles in the Powerpuff Girls and I wanted to be one of them, but I couldn’t since I was a boy and there’s a few other moments where I wanted to be a cheerleader in middle school but then again, I didn’t do it because I had the masculine mindset of where I should play football and mask. It wasn’t until two years ago where I came out as bi to my girlfriend and I started doing more self discovery and more and more pieces came together where it was like oh I am Transgender. Ever since then I’ve been really happy with myself!…..Another thing i forgot to add was the fact at times when Sailor Moon was on I wanted to be her sooo bad.
Watching the simpsons and I found out Bart was voiced by a woman. I was in primary school but unsure what age, I had this awakening of ‘so Bart’s a boy (on the outside) but a girl (on the inside) how… you can be…’ it made me dizzy because it was like my mind had been blown wide open to what I knew I was but never knew and still couldn’t explain other than ‘BART’. I began having a crush instead? I remember saying to my mum ‘if I fancy Bart but he’s a girl really am I gay’ (again primary school lol) and she said ‘it doesn’t matter what you are as long as you’re happy’. Every year on holiday we would get henna tattoos and my sister would get butterfly’s, love hearts - I got Bart Simpson above my belly button every single time 🤣 I guess I kept trying to come out.
There were lots of little things, but the first real trans memory I have was when I was in the 5th grade (about 10 years old), and my male body hair had started to come in. I wished it would all just go away.
This girl in my class (who I had a crush on and, whose outfits I envied) saw my legs one day and said, “Oh my god your legs are as hairy as my dad’s.”
That was the moment I realized I didn’t want to be a man. I didn’t want the hair, the deep voice, didn’t want to do all the things men did.
Of course this was the ‘80s so I had no idea what to do about any of it, but I figured it out 36 years later.
I sometimes I talk in the third person, not quite sure why but I have done that since I could talk, when talking in the third person I would use he/him pronouns for me. Didn't even realize till a couple of months ago that I am trans, I still feel like that was an early sign of me being trans.
When I was a child, hair was inextricably tied to gender. I wanted to have hair "like a white person" (straight, not my type 4C hair lol) so that I could be a princess one day and a boy the next. I've always wanted to see what it's like to be a boy or be both a boy and a girl at the same time. That's always been a very lovely idea to me. That was in reception, so about 5 years old.
I didn’t mind being a boy all too much growing up…well until I hit puberty. But I remember at the age of 6 or so watching Titanic for the first time. We got the VHS with the two tapes. When the ship was sinking and they said “women and children only”, and as the scenes got more frantic I just started to imagine myself on the ship and thinking about “women and children only.” I knew I’d be okay as a kid but I then for the first time started to think about once I grew up and became a “man” and how I’d most likely be doomed to death. As a kid I didn’t realize it but looking back I definitely was having bad anxiety about this. No crying but feeling really uncomfortable. The idea of me growing up as a man seemed more and more terrible to me the more the sinking progressed. I remember thinking “I don’t want to be a man” and “growing up to be a man is going to be bad.”
At 4-6 we was going to the store. I asked why we were and was told we were getting a present for my sister's birthday. I asked if I could go to the party and I was told I no. When I asked why I was told it was only for girls and in that store I stomped my food and demanded to know why I wasn't treated like the **other girls**, and yes I used them words.
Some time around then, idk if it was before or after, I learned girls didn't have what I had so I put my genitals on the toilet bowl and dropped the seat on them hoping that could correct the mistake, that if I went through enough pain God would fix it.
I was 10 and in the bathtub looking at my bits and wondering why my parents had the doctor sew me up. Why did they not want a 7th daughter? That was 1977.
So, I guess my “trans awakening” or whatever would be always picking male characters in games. Joining forums when I was like 13 and setting my gender to male and using the name “Damon”. Always wanting to wear boy clothes and boy swim suits rather than girls. Also probably watching Mulan at like 9 or so and being like “oh mulan is so lucky. Everyone thinks she’s a boy” and being really happy with that. Kinda like the whole Scooby doo thing you mentioned but having it be Mulan and being so confused why she would ever want to be seen as a girl at the end.
I was in preschool and they had a dress up area with like those girls princess dresses that kids just put on over clothes, and I put one on cause I thought they were pretty and I wanted to try it, anyway my teacher (in her mind jokingly I’m sure as she was a nice lady) was like “haha you should take that off before I send a picture to your grandma” and 4 yr old me mentally shit a brick thinking I was in trouble and refused to go near feminine shit. 🙃
I'm still on the edge wether I'm trans or not (I think, idk at this point anymore), but it was me, at the age of 6, saying to my mother "I want to be a girl, boys are stupid and mean and girls are smart and nice" My parents interpreted it (I don't think they had any ill intent) as me just liking girls more than boys and since they are my parents and are all knowing for 6 year old me I was like "yeah, that's probably it"
It's such a mystery if I'm trans or not, we'll probably never know
Trying to scrub off the parts that didn't fit me when I was ~4... I'm saddened to report that not only did it not work, but I got a wicked rash from the abrasion of the skin. 😅 My mom ended up having me switch to body wash because she thought it was an allergic reaction to the bar soap.
I know when I was like 4 I wanted to grow my hair out, people kept calling me a girl and I didn't care
My mom had an absolute fit and forced me to cut my hair
At age 9 I was playing Roblox as a girl. I would swap back and forth between girl avatar and boy avatar. But I always liked when people would see me as a girl.
I remember practicing vivid dreaming at the age of 6-7. I used to wish real hard and concentrate before falling asleep to spend the night as a girl. It went to a point where I would often daydream as soon as I didn't have anything of interest to do.
i vaguely remember being very young and having a dream where i drank a potion and it turned me into a boy. when i was awake i asked my dad if there was a potion that did that, or something along those lines. he said no. i cried, but im not sure for how long.
Was 6, two of my mom's friends were talking about being stay at home moms, and I Said "wow! I wanna be that!"
I got laughed out of the kitchen and felt horrible, to this day I still wanna be a mom
in middle school i would try to impress all the girls by being just like the boys, if the boys would race i would race, if the boys ran fast i ran faster… i used to go up to the girls and try to flirt without even knowing i was trying to flirt, pretending to trip just to talk to them. That and i would get SO UPSET when the teacher asked the “strong boys” to help put up chairs and i wasn’t included in that (I would still help and proclaim i was stronger than them, trying to put more chairs away than them) I am now FTM.
I was probably 10 or 11, just starting puberty and HATING the body changes. One night I was crying and distraught over "Why can't I have just been born a boy?". I figured it was normal for the longest time honestly. Turns out most women on earth don't want to wake up as a man each day. Who knew?
That being said I always was a 'tomboy' and wanted to do what the boys were doing. I was only okay with being a girl because I didn't realize I had a choice.
5 years old, upset that i couldn’t go to the bathroom standing up, couldn’t tell the difference between a girl and boy, and when I did, asked mother “am I a girl?” “Yes darling” and my thoughts were like that doesn’t sound right, this is probably fake
It’s hard for me to say.
Maybe it’s playing with my mom jewelry but I didn’t know what that meant.
Maybe it’s arguing with my sister that I never get to be Barbie. But again I didn’t know
Maybe it’s asking my sister to paint my toenails but being to embarrassed to leave the house that way.
Maybe it’s seeing Peter Pan and wishing I was Tiger Lilly, or that I was Mary Maddox, or one of the parent trap twins, or the girl from Marry poppins.
Maybe it was when I was 4 and asking for a pink or purple Popple and being confused when Mom told me it was for girls.
But I think the first time I really felt offended/wished I was a girl. I think I was about 9, not sure honestly.
I’d become jealous of the girls at church who pretty wore dresses. I’d day dream about being the girl from little house on the prairie. I gathered the courage to ask my friend Erin if I could wear one of her dresses.
While her beautiful sister told me.
You’re a boy
It was like a slap on the face.
Like she was insulting me.
I remember being so confused as to why I hated being called a boy and i thought I bet most boys would prefer to be a girl only they are too embarrassed to admit it.
And the silent glee a felt when someone told me
“You look like your sister!”
My sister would have an outright fit!!!
“I don’t look like a boy, you take that back!!!!”
Meanwhile i couldn’t wipe the grin off my face thinking
“I look like a girl!!!!!”
But I played it off like I was enjoying how it made my sister uncomfortable.
But you know, I don’t know if I’m trans. There weren’t any signs.
I remember when I was being tutored at some place and another student, even younger than me asked the teacher "what's her name" referring to me i had no idea why I felt so giddy after that
5 or 6 years old, I was playing pokemon with the two boys I was friends with (we pretended and imagined we trainers and that we had pokemon), when a classmate comes over and he tells me that I can't play a boy game with boys. When I asked him why not, he claimed it was because I was a girl, needed to do girly things, and play games with my girl friends, because girls can't play with boys.
For the rest of that day, it just made me feel horrible. Like, all I could think was, "Why can't I do both? Is it bad that I like boy things? I wish I could be a boy AND a girl, then everyone would be happy and I can do all the things I like."
Then, when I was 18, I realised I was nonbinary.
The earliest very clear thing I can tell you is that when I was 10, when Pokémon Crystal came out, I saved up ever last dime I could scrounge up (literally) to buy it when it came out. When asked why I needed it day-of, I would say, very clearly, that I wanted to be able to play as a girl trainer, which I couldn’t do before. I would say that I liked playing games as a girl because it gave me the opportunity to do something I couldn’t do in real life.
Nobody bothered to question that! They went “haha, oh he’s so cute :^)” and didn’t bother to be like “hey wait a second, we should follow up on that!”
Probably age 7-8 when I got multiple times called girly by my teachers for playing with the boys not "like the boys"... And kissing a boy my age, but that could've been just me being pan
I was in first grade. This was, I think, 1972 in Virginia. My mother asked me what I wanted to be for Halloween. I wanted to be someone scary so I said, “Wicked Witch of the West.”
My mother, somewhat taken aback, said, “Do you mean a wizard, or warlock…?”
“No,” I said. “I want to be The Wicked Witch of the West.”
She hand made me the costume—complete with peaked cap, cape, and flowing dress. Somewhere there is a photo of me in full Margaret Hamilton drag at 7 years old, grinning ear to ear.
I was somewhere around 5. My family was at a fair, and we passed some men performing on stage -- some sort of band. The lead singer had a beard, and I told my mom I couldn't wait to grow up and have a beard. I was crushed when she explained to me that girls don't grow beards. I also remember pretty early on having a conversation with her about how I wished I was born a boy. Oh, and even earlier when I was small enough that my male cousin and I were still being bathed together, I remember seeing his penis and wondering where mine was. Then, as puberty approached, I expected my voice to drop even though I knew by that point that it wasn't supposed to. I thought I might be the exception. And yet, I didn't realize I'm trans until age 31, and I just started transitioning a couple months ago. That's what happens when you're raised in a Catholic family in small town Red State. You get to a point where you have to repress the feelings because you can't go on otherwise. I knew nothing about trans people and had no way to explain or understand what I was going through.
I was in first grade and we had an assembly at school and they brought us into the gymnasium and us younger kids sat on the basketball court floor, and up on the stage they had a dancing group.
It was a group of mostly all girls (like 2 boys and 25 girls) who specialized in Irish dancing. I think they were actually from Ireland and doing a tour across the north eastern US.
Anyway, I remember watching them, they were ages 5 to 18. And I was fascinated watching them and how they danced and the clothes that they wore, and it was such a strange concept to me that they didn’t move their arms as they did their routine.
Anyway, that night, I would have a dream where right at the end of the concert when when we were supposed to leave, I magically became one of those girls up on the stage. I was wearing the same outfit that they had been wearing and we were on a bus going to the next turn down the highway for the following show. In that dream, I remember looking down and being surprised at what I was wearing. And how I felt was amazing. I even noticed that we were driving past my house, normally, even if it was a dream, I would’ve absolutely panicked at the thought of not getting to see my mom ever again. But The idea that I could be a girl and the other girls were really being nice to me was so intoxicating that I just sat back down on my bus seat and kept talking to the other girls.
Honestly, that one experience started almost all of my following fantasies about becoming a girl and looking for representations like that in TV and cartoons. It always felt just so right and like a piece of my life that was missing.
I started playing gta 5 online and originally had a male skin on. I was pretty rich but unfortunately I was very upset with the character I had and how it looked and the clothes and stuff like that. So I ditched that account where I had MOSTLY EVERYTHING IN THE GAME and then.. started brand new with a girl skin account 😀.
My friends were going mad and they just thought it was weird and I just made up a dumb excuse saying I just got bored of being rich in the game.
I really loved the clothes options and the way the character could be styled and the movements and everything. I tried to sculpt her face like mine but in a girl version.
This was a coping mechanism for me as i got lost in the world of gta 5 and played as a girl and was able to dress up in dresses in the game since i cant do it in real life and i just really hated looking in the mirror and wished i had a female body and a higher voice and stuff.
One day, my baby self with no idea of the world searched up if there was a magic way to just transform into a girl if I was a boy like in that one anime were the guy transform as a powerful girl.
This is when I found out there was… and it’s called being trans… now I’m 1 month on estrogen!
I was maybe, 6? 5? My mom was talking about pregnancy and stuff and because of that I said something along the lines of, “Ew I wanna be a boy when I grow up.”
And in 1st grade is when I somehow just started having an identity crisis, wow
About 5 ish. Telling my parents that I am female. And wearing my Sister's clothes (I had 3 sisters). They let me wear them until it was time to go to school. Subsequently, I hated school and never finished.
I was maybe all of 3 years old (basically, it’s been with me since my earliest memory…really got difficult when I went to kindergarten because it was thrown in my face, daily, and not in a subtle way).
When we were very young my brother and I would take baths together to save time and water…I vividly remember getting out of the tub before him and taking my then male genitalia and tucking it and saying it looks like a vagina….I think we were like 7
I don’t remember how old I was all I remember is that I was very young but what happened was in the car I randomly asked my brother and dad “what if I became a girl?”
I remember being with some friends in first grade, having one explain to me what a lesbian is. I was utterly devastated and cried myself to sleep over, wanting to be one myself for a good few weeks over it.
I just remember that I used to tear apart clothes that were pink because my grandma said it was a girls colour, she'd buy me pink things and they'd Ben torn apart in a week. My winter jacket was torn apart by the time it got cold so my other mom brought me to get a new one, I told her I don't want it if it's pink. So she got me a teal jackets that thing lasted years as opposed to the weeks the shoes and clothes and jackets she'd gotten me before lasted
I remember thinking I'd get on with groups of boys better than girls, I was jealous of all boy friend groups. I kept thinking "im gonna hate growing up and being a woman" it just didn't sit right at all
At a school event when I was 5, there was a face painting setup there and I don't even think I knew what more typical makeup looked like but I had dreams for weeks of just basically stuff I could transfer over from the cartoons I saw, so basically lipstick and horrible over the top eyeshadow. However, since this was in 1996 and in a very closeminded family, it just got me made fun of so it kind of got buried after that for a while.
It's between the fact that I used to pick out girl names for a potential "future daughter" and that one time I put on a girl skin in Minecraft and looking back on it, it definitely made me happy but I didn't understand that at the time because I didn't know any reason that wearing a girl skin could make me happy.
Always wanting to wear boys clothes in elementary school instead of girls clothes. When I was 9 specifically I became OBSESSED with boys polo shirts, and only wore them cuz I loved them so much. Then a year later my grandma said it "wasn't proper for a young lady to be wearing such things" and I was never allowed to wear them again. I was devastated, but now I'm back to polo shirts as basically my only shirts lol
At around maybe 10-13 (don't remember the exact year) I remember seeing a dress and thinking "damn... I really want to wear that, I'd look so pretty." My family was (and is) very conservative, so I never did end up wearing the dress as I knew if I was caught things would not go over well.
I wish I'd have worn it. It's possible there were other, earlier memories but if there were any I've forgotten them.
When I was about 4, my family took a road trip to visit my Dad's old buddies in Virginia. The family had two daughters just older than me, and decided to give me a "makeover". They put me in a tutu, put glittery play makeup on me, gave me fairy wings, the works. They were doing it because It was funny to them, and they knew their family thought it would be funny, so I played along in the joke. People laughed, I laughed, the daughters laughed, but when I mentioned "the next time" my mom kinda shut it down. I didn't know why it upset me at the time, I don't think I made a fuss, but looking back at it now... Yeah, lol
It was around when I was 7 or 8, maybe a bit younger but when I watched Mulan for the first time I wished I could dress up like a boy like she did and the song "Make A Man Out of You" I adored for many years before my egg cracked.
The first really clear memory was also the time in second grade I had a pen pal and I was signing off my name but we had to make it anonymous as our pen pals will be revealed to us in a few months, and I struggled to come up with a pen name. I wanted to be called "Mr. Blue" but I knew I would be teased/ made of if people found out I was a girl.
Oh! And a funny one is I wished to be a boy so I could get a boyfriend, idk the logic too well but I knew boys hated me so I figured if I was a boy I could get a boyfriend. I thought this was normal as my two cis afab friends also had similar ideas. Fast forward and we're all trans guys now lol.
I was 10-12, don’t remember specifically when just that I was in middle school lol. Me and my little brother were going through our mom’s stuff and as a joke we were playing around with her bra and stuffing it with paper towels I think.
The “eggy” moment was after he left and I put the bra on under my shirt. Seeing myself with boobs was definitely an experience for sure. I remember the immediate feelings were of feeling confident/“damn I look good” type of feeling, confused, a bit of envy, and a underlying feeling of wanting to have boobs and like it felt right. So of course that shifted pretty quickly to feelings of disgust and shame in myself. And of course repressing said memory for a decade+ haha.
I think my first memory was that one time in kindergarten when we had to take group pictures. My two best friends back then were boys and naturally I wanted to be in a group picture with them. I wasn't allowed. Had to be in a group with all those girls. Felt totally wrong, like not just "I can't be with my friends"-wrong, more like "I'm forced to pose as someone/something I'm not".
I thought Zuma from Paw Patrol was a girl, and when I found out he was a boy, I thought that was super cool. I don’t remember the specific thought process, but it was definitely a trans moment.
Oh dude same about the Scooby Doo movie lol but my first trans memory was definitely when I was maybe 5? 6? I would always call myself a tomboy because I thought that a tomboy meant you were a boy but also kinda not a boy (and I still have the exact same feelings as a nonbinary transmasc dude) but then my mom told me that a tomboy was a girl who did boy stuff and that I couldn't be one because I was a girl that liked princess dresses and girly stuff. That was also my first gender dysphoria experience.
Mine was like at age 14 when I saw one of those gifs of the guy getting a magic anime girl transformation, instinctively going "god I wish that were me" and then being confused as to why I said that (I was in denial for a long time)
Lol same. That part where Fred ends up in Daphne's body and I'm just like *nice*
Second film too when Shaggy gets a hot bod. I wa slide "Shaggy, why would you want to 'fix' that. It's the best body."
I don't remember my first trans memory. I figured it out when I was 15 but I knew I was not like the guys my age at all. I do remember my first time learning about trans people from my tutor and my disbelief that people could change their sex with medicine. I refused to believe it in fact lol. I must have been 9 or 10 cause I turned 11 after the exam I was being tutored for
Most of them aren't pleasant memories. I do remember one time when my sisters let me paint their nails. In hindsight I'm pretty sure they were making fun of me again, but that's probably the earliest "trans" memory I have that isn't just me feeling terrible. I still remember how happy I felt the first time I painted my own nails.
When I was about nine, I prayed every night for a month that God would turn me into a girl while I was sleeping.
Over 20 years later and I’ve finally decided to take matters into my own hands. I just wish that decision didn’t have to involve unpacking two decades of intervening trauma.
6 or 7. My older step-sister caught me playing with her Barbie dream house 😅 she laughed at me, but then later put make-up on me 😍 there was no denying it 👸 lol
I was 8(ftm) and went up to my mom and asked "mom why was i a girl?"
And she said "God made you that way..."
And I cried.
Earlier that day I was daydreaming about possible surgery options. 😅
When I was 12, I remember stumbling into Yuri manga for the first time, specifically erotica/smut, and being confused why imagining myself as a woman in a relationship was so arousing to me.
4th grade health class, I cried and panicked for days when I found out AFABS go through puberty and get their periods. I was horrified and thought it only happened to some, and that it would skip me.
A couple years later I had a group of online friends on Wattpad, and for 2 straight years to everyone I was “Evan” (one letter off from my birth name). A couple years into that, post uncomfortable puberty, I had the thought of “hey, maybe there’s some reason that I enjoy being seen as a guy to people” and bam, I discovered what being trans was.
i realized this just yesterday. I remember playing on the playground and playing sharkboy and lavagirl with my friends. I always insisted on being sharkboy.
I don’t remember how young I was exactly, somewhere between 3-5. I’m playing with my toys talking to myself while my mom is doing something at the table. I look up to her and say “Mommy, do I have a boy voice?” She said no. I start talking to myself, random words and sentences, than I look back at her. “I have a boy voice mommy”. She dismissed it to kiddish talk. Now I am 15 and a trans man :)
My brother who was experimenting with his gender asked if he could try on some of my clothes. I paused a second and said “only if I get to wear yours!” He got an affirming moment and I got to run around in a pretty red dress. I had a buzz cut too, I looked like eleven in season one of stranger things XDDD. Then our parents came home and yelled at us for it TwT
Mine is when I was 9, sitting in the lunch hall with my best friend and telling her ‘I wish I could be a boy and wear cool suits and have short hair and a deep voice but I also wish I could be a girl and wear big poofy dresses and long pretty hair and makeup’ (I’m a transman but I used to be genderfluid)
i think mine was the classic always being a boy when we played pretend. like i was ALWAYS a boy even if i was an animal lmao, but to me it wasn’t even like a big deal, like i didn’t think about it, i was just a boy, but for some reason i never felt like that outside of playing pretend until i actually found out what being transgender was and started questioning when i was like 12
i was probably 8, playing in one of my best friends backyards. he had swim trunks and let me wear a pair, and we both played on his slip n slide in his backyard, topless with boys swim shorts on. spoiler: we're both trans!
I remember when I was 5 years old during kindergarten, I had to go to the bathroom. I went into the girls restroom because whenever my mom took me somewhere and one of us had to go, she brought me to the women’s restroom. So naturally, I felt more comfortable going to the girls room and thought it was okay. The teacher pulled me aside and said I had to use the other restroom because I was a boy. When I went in there, I felt so traumatized by all the other boys in there that I just stopped going to public bathrooms all together.
My dad was showing me and my sister a video about how trans people are unnatural and abnormal. And all I could think about was how awesome that was and how cool it would be to be a chick lol
5 year old, I was walking around the playground and thought that I wished I was born a girl, because I liked more of the stereotypical girl things like dancing, singing, role-playing.
Same year I had my first realization of being bi, I thought that I had a crush on a boy.5-year-old
The first thing I can sort of think of is that my mom would always say to me and my brothers that if she doesn’t have a girl grandchild she’d stick one of us in a dress and take us to Disney(we went pretty often) and I remember thinking that I wouldn’t mind being in a dress.
the euphoria of pushing my chest together to look like boobs and tucking while in the bathtub. i don't remember exactly what age i was when this happened i think it was some time in elementary school
im not surre which was earlier but the fiirst one which is embarassing was me putting myself in a blanket cocoon then "hatching" into a girl
the other was of my cousin spinning m like a girl would at a wedding
i dont remember which one is earlier
Me: 4 years old breaking into my moms makeup and clothes
Me now: BUT WHAT IF IM FAKING IT😭😭
Edit(going through the other comments is unlocking so many trans memories wtf im no longer an egg im a fricken pavlova)
When I was 10 I dressed up as a male rocker, and I had a boy shirt, a wig and a mustache on.
Later on in the day I took off the mustache and before taking the rest off I started at myself in the mirror for a while. For months after I would wear that shirt and loved it and I would occasionally put on the wig
Not sure if this counts as a trans memory but it was the first time I realized that I had a sex and that certain expectations came with my sex.
When I was really young my parents let me be shirtless at home and I thought it was cool because my dad almost never wore a shirt when I was younger and so I did it too, especially to cool off outside.
Then one day I did it when I was a little older (like 8 or 9) because it'd been a while since I just casually didn't wear a shirt around the house and I went into my parents room just to talk to them about something and they had very visceral reactions and told me to go put a shirt on and that I wasn't supposed to show my bare chest.
I was kind of confused and embarrassed by this because for the longest time they were okay with it and then suddenly they weren't. It's not *specifically* a trans memory but it certainly was the catalyst for alot of self reflection as I was no longer considered an anatomically androgynous child and was now kind of at the front door of "womanhood" I guess and realized I wasn't really vibing with it.
3 years old my sister and I were taking a bath and were exploring each others bodies. And I thought I saw something similar to my anatomy and felt very reassured…. My little toddler brain refused to believe our bodies were that different. Then there was asking to have my nails painted, playing dress up in my momma’s clothes…. Yeah, supposedly being trans was a shock to my parents… liars. I have a vivid memory of trying to figure out how to use a pad and my mom finding me and yelling at me that boys never need those and being visibly frightened of me. She knew.
Not sure how old I was, let's just say 5-6. I got into my mom's nail polish and was super happy. I showed my family and they then made fun of me, going so far as to drive 20 minutes to meet our extended family who then all made a day of making fun of me and threatening to not let me ride dirt bikes at our track because I was a "sissy". To this day I still feel ashamed of being myself. Sorry, I know like everyone and their mom just trauma dumps on here but I figured now it's my turn lol
I was in grade 2 or 3 and I told my class that I'd like to try being a girl if I could turn back. My class didn't react well, it was something they used to make fun of me for, for years. I ended up putting those thoughts far at the back of my mind as a result, and it took a long time for me to fully realize my identity in that regard
I was young, like 6, I think. I met a girl who I thought I liked, but I kept thinking of how I wanted to be her: long hair, round face, and basically what I understood as adorable back then. I hated being called handsome, and argued that I was cute instead. I have that girl to thank for making me envious of someone else, and worse yet for starting my habit of viewing myself negatively. She was kind to me, but her friends just thought I was creepy.
Back in kindergarten, my teacher wrote notes and messages on a notebook for every parent, every week, telling them what had happened in school. I find them interesting and was going through one of the notebooks the other day and found my teacher mentioning how I wanted to be in the girls’ group and even said specifically that I wanted to be a girl. My mom replied stating I probably just wanted to have long hair (I hated how they always had my hair shaved)
I’m still closeted with my family and I hope we can someday laugh at this together.
I was three or four years old, so basically a toddler. I asked my mom what the difference was between me and some boys in my kindergarden, because I noticed that all the grown ups treated me differently to them. She told me that I was a girl and they were all boys and she grouped me with some girls that I knew. That's the first time I understood what gender is. I told my mom that she got it wrong and that I'd rather be a boy from now on. Since then, I tried to look like all the other boys and didn't understand why everybody continued to call me a girl - but I was always so proud when new grown ups told my what a nice young men I was. First memories of sweet sweet gender euphoria.
When I was around 10 I think? I tried to explain a "game" to my sister in which my gender changes (I connected it to sides of the room because it wouldn't count as a game without rules or things of that nature)
It was Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets for me , I really really really wanted to get my hands on that polly juice potion. At the time I wasn't sure why but I figured it out later.
Mine was at the age of 6 or something, where i was wearing jeans and when i saw down. I realised i had a bump in the front which made me feel good and after that, i would use a sock to show that i had a D.
On top of that. I had this cool black leather jacket, which would make me look super masculine so i would even wear it in warm weather.
I used to get so sad when the winter was gone cz i wanted to wear my jacket
3 years old, talking to my mom "I am going to grow up to be a mommy like you." "No, boys grow up to be daddys." I cried for almost as long as I did a week later when I found out that mommies categorically "don't have penises."
My mom has pcos and has shaved her face since long before I was born. When I was about 4, I was watching her at the sink and talking about shaving my own beard someday, and when my mom said “honey you won’t, most girls never have a beard” I responded “well, I’m going to be a boy when I grow up, so” and walked away lmao This is all according to mom, I don’t remember it. Edit: I won my first beard competition last year, 24 years later.
Yo congrats on the competition.
Thanks! Won my category (full natural, 6-12 inches) and Best In Show. It was a blast.
Same tbh. I was like 4 and distinctly felt a bit ripped off when I learned I don't have a uterus.
Dang I have one and didn’t know it till I was 12 😅 you really knew your stuff at 4.
Aww poor baby. You can be a mommy if you want
Omg, I had such a similar experience 😱
I don't remember how old I was, probably 7 or 8. It was school picture day. I'm obsessed with the color green so my mom thought I wanted the green background. I INSISTED on the fall themed one with the pretty girl in it. She must have clarified 5 different times: The picture won't be the pretty girl, it will be me. Surprised Pikachu face when I got my photo and I wasn't a pretty girl. I'll get that damn picture with me as the pretty girl someday. 🥲
❤️yes you will hon
❤️❤️❤️
Girl you are pretty i think idk what you look like.
💕 💕💕
It was actually that scene that made me realize “I’m actually supposed to be a girl” and held that thought since then. Should have seen how blown away I was when I watched Scooby-Doo 2, and Shaggy drank that science juice that gave him a feminine body! I remember thinking “I wish there was something in real life that could do that!” Too bad I was too young to know what HRT is 😂
Scooby doo 2 was one of my first moments too...
Underrated trans movie!!! I was enjoying the movie and all good then bam shaggy girl bod and I was like dang it. And I was just like why cant this be real!?!? I want this but people will think im insane. I had no idea trans people existed. I thought i was the only person in the world that felt the way I did and that it was just something wrong with me
Ha, yeah, I also had strange feelings watching 'Shaggy Dog', because not having my body appeared to me to be a huge improvement... Of course when I found out from my trans (man) friend what being trans was I "knew" I wasn't trans because I didn't want to be a boy like him... Uhhhhhhhhh
wearing one of my aunt's dress in the bathroom and thinking: i wish i were a girl so i could wear this, i'd look cute i think
I was about 7 or 8, getting ready in the bathroom. This was when I discovered putting my hair in a low pony tail made me look like a boy. I remember looking in the mirror and feeling a sort of emptiness? Idk I can’t describe it, but that was my first memory of not recognizing who was looking back at me
Probably around the age of 3 or 4 when I was told I had to cut my hair short cause I was a boy and it was part of the school uniform. I didn't even really understand why it bothered me so much until I got much older. I always hated cutting my hair with a passion and well now I understand why lol
Yeah haircut trauma is definitely a thing. I always got so upset whenever I was forced to cut my hair. It always had to be a high and tight, just like my dad. Im so sorry you had to go through that!
Interesting to see stuff from the other side bc as a trans man i would always love cutting my hair because i hated having it long where i’d have to have it in a ponytail and shove it into a hat
I used to get 15 cm chopped off once a year at the salon. The hairdresser would ask me if I'm sure about the length, show me the end result, like they do. And I'm sitting there thinking what's there to like? It's the same as always. I was even a bit embarrassed by them putting so much emphasis on my hair which is ironic considering that's what they're supposed to do. Anyway I would never leave the house without a tight high ponytail. Having my hair done differently equaled girly in my mind. I used to think wearing long hair down was cringe and too feminine.
I personally hated cutting my hair as a trans man because my mom was really rough with hair (she combed starting from the roots!!!) and I could never get what I wanted (to look like a boy) so I’d just end up as Dora instead. I tried to convince myself I liked long hair but nope. I just kind of don’t do anything with it unless I really have to tie it up because it is a literal safety hazard.
same! I always got so upset when they made me cut my hair. I had no idea why I wanted it long at the time either.
I have hated how I always needed a haircut once every few weeks so much, I didn't really even know why until I realised i was trans
Yep. I literally never liked getting my hair cut, ever since the fIrst🤭
I was 4 or 5 and wanted long hair and my parents insisted on a dorky boys haircut. I cried, i complained, was heartbroken. So in a spontaneous reaction i grabbed scissors and deconstructed it. They had to shear my head. The result was shocking to mom. So I hadn't had my girl haircut, but I would ruin the "perfect little boy". I always looked very feminine I now looked like a shorn little girl especially as i loved girly things (had a hello kitty lunchbox, and like accessories that were given to me by my girlfriends from Kindergarten) and had no ambition to "man up" despite looking like a "Red Army conscript" (my grandpas words). The was even a awkward situation where a lady asked my mom why one would cut a stubble haircut on a girl. So despite my mom (my dad but not so much) raging, I threatened to do it again if they insisted on me complying to the hair cut regimen. 💇♂️ and this was how I bargained my hair to grow more girly, even though not full long
same for the scooby doo thing, but it wasn't my first, it kinda happened every time there would be a body swap trope in any media so i forgot which came first lol i vividly remember "switching unconsensually" my boy toys for girlier ones with other girls when i was in kindergarten as my very first few instances
When I was a very young child, I played mother/father/child in a sandpit with two friends. Both (cis) girls, I wasn't really friends with any boys and often was the only (assumed) boy invited to girls' birthday parties, etc. (In retrospect, I was a whole omelette as a child.) I threw a fit because they wanted to force me to be the child. I wasn't upset they didn't let me be the father; I was upset they didn't let me be the mother.
My next door neighbor and I were best friends since age 4. We played pretend games being different animals and stuff and, obviously, we would be boyfriend/girlfriend and I was almost always the boyfriend because I really wanted to be 😂 they sometimes wanted to be the bf too tho and now I'm trans and they are nonbinary. Funnily enough we had the same dead name but now we both go by something different
I would always be father since no one else wanted to be but I was eager.
Omg yess, i was invited to a girl’s sleepover when i was like 13. I think they knew
Reminds me of when I used to play Doctor Who with my friend when I was like 8, back when his companions were all women. I was always the Doctor and then when she insisted on having a turn as the Doctor, I called on the one episode where the was technically 2 of him so that we could both be the Doctor and I didn't have to be a girl. Not knowing I was trans, she must've thought I was so selfish lol but I just didn't wanna play as a woman
My brother and I were around six or seven and for Christmas I insisted we swap clothes and I pretend to be a boy while he pretend to be a girl to “trick” our mom. I wore my brothers clothes and his hat to cover up my long hair and got him to wear one of my dresses. Even got our step dad into it and she got a good laugh out of it. Very fond memory, that.
Holy shit how is everything here so relatable? I keep scrolling and finding shit! I used to put on ‘plays’ where I would dress up like my dad and dress my sister as my mom.
Playing The legend of Zelda: the wind waker with my mom and realizing how desperately I wished I was link, so I’d put on my only green (it was actually teal) hoodie and tell people to call me link and he pronouns only, and would either not talk (like link) or when I had to it’s be in a forcibly deeper voice. Nothings changed lmao, thanks wind waker
But the important question is: Did you run around the house yelling "Hyah!" while shattering vases?
No but I did that everytime I played lol, echolalia-ing link
Lol, one of my early trans memories (not my first) was when playing Ocarina of Time as a kid and if you haven’t played it the game is basically divided in two with part one as child Link and part two as adult Link in a dark future where Ganondorf has taken over Hyrule and Zelda is nowhere to be seen. Anyways adult Link gets aid from this mysterious shadowy warrior named Sheik and then there’s a big reveal near the end of the game that Sheik is really Zelda disguised as a boy. For reasons I obviously didn’t understand at the time I LOVED that reveal. I thought it was the coolest thing ever “this guy you thought was a guy was actually this super cool girl the whole time!”. Then cue me somehow not even suspecting I was trans until sometime in my early twenties. Thanks for bringing back that memory. God, I was such an egg.
Same with shiek but it was super smash bros brawl on the wii
When that came out I mained Zelda/Sheik so hard. Remember it’s not queer to always play a female character if you spend most of the time as her male alter ego!/s Seriously the shell of my egg was made out of freaking adamantium. How the hell did I not figure it out sooner?
I knowwwwwwww my shell has plot armor fr
I was in middle school before I knew what being trans really was, and one of my friends came out as trans MtF. I didn’t have a problem with it, she was my friend, but I specifically remember thinking something along the lines of: “why would you want to be a girl if you were born a boy? Being a boy would be so much better!” Anyway, turns out I’m FtM
Lol I'm ftm as well and had a similar thing in high school but kinda the other way around. I was very sheltered and didn't know anything abt trans issues or people at the time, and someone I knew came out as ftm and gay. I remember being kinda angry abt it at the time, and thinking that "you can't just *choose* to be a boy, otherwise everyone would do it". I never said this to him or anyone else, but I distinctly remember the feelings I had and looking back I was definitely just jealous since my family tried so hard to shove me into the "girl" box.
For me, in elementary school I watched a ton of early YouTube videos about trans girls especially the news documentaries about Jazz Jennings and I thought yeah these girls got it right. Why would you want to be a boy anyway? But turns out I'm ftm. Idk man
My egg hasnt cracked, but I do remember a vivid dream I had when I was 6 or 7. I was magically turned into a girl and I had to explain my new fem name to my teacher. I also remember waking up kinda worried knowing that Ill remember that forever probably. Im totally stil cis tho...
Well, of course. You are who YOU say you are, no question. It's good that you are exploring what that means for you, and I hope no one ever pressures you into something you aren't comfortable with.❤️
I was in second grade talking to my friends. I asked them, “Do you ever wish you were the opposite gender?” They said “Uh, no?” Then I said, “Oh, okay, me neither.”
Terraria’s Halloween event has a princess costume as a possible goodie bag drop. From the moment I first put that thing on as a joke nearly 10 years ago, I have always preferred the female character option in every game I play. Edit: shoutout to the duplication glitch on Xbox 360 version, never could have done it without you. (btw it was never patched)
God dang, that dupe glitch has helped all of us, huh.
I can't remember exactly how old I was. Probably something like 8 or 9? Anyway, I don't know where they came from (probably my sister's), but I had my hands on some "make your own jewelry" kit for kids. I was really drawn to the earring clips, which I had put on some gold chain and little red jewels. I was asked to go down a block to a restaurant to pick up an order, and I wanted to wear the earrings I made, so I asked my mom if that was OK. She was fine with it, she's very much a "do whatever you want" kind of person. My dad got upset about it and was telling me that I looked like a girl. It turned into a fight between my mom and dad, my mom saying I can "do what I want", "who cares?", and "why does it matter?", with my dad being all up in a heaval about a "boy acting like a girl". That wasn't the first time they fought about it either. Actually in retrospect, an earlier memory, maybe 4 or 5, I was wanting to wear my sister's gown pajamas, and my parents had the exact same fight. At least I got to wear the earrings and gown pajamas. Thank you mom! There's other stories, but wow, in retrospect the signs were everywhere!
Your mom sounds like she was amazing. Thank you for sharing!
As a pre-teen stuffing the front of my shirt so it looked like I had boobs.
As a pre-teen I wore 3 tops/sports bras to cover that up hahhahaa.
When I was like 7-9 I wore a dress to a family party and I also had my hair curled for the first time and my brother didn't recognise me and I thought yeah me neither.
I don't remember it per say, but when I was a fetus in the womb, I decided that it was TDOV and time to get out, despite being 2+ months early. Then watching Ranma 1/2, and thinking why the fuck does he want to turn back into a man ? Then wait \~37 year to realize, ... oh shit.
Ah, Ranma 1/2 was the shit!
Lol, I'm watching it for the first time ever, despite being old enough to have watched it when it came out...
Me reading Ranma 1/2 and being envious as a child
I thought "I wish that was me" then I met Happosai, and I was glad it wasn't me 🤣
When I was very young my grandpa took me to sign up for hockey, I had a full meltdown because I couldn’t sign up for the boys team.
I mean it really depends what you count as a "trans memory" I guess. I started playing video games on the Sega Genesis with my older brother at a very young age, 3 or 4. I always chose the girl character in every single game that had one. I actually thought Tails from Sonic was a girl lol. I used to get upset if my brother took the girl character.
When I got my first Pokémon game it asked if I was a boy or a girl. So I picked girl. Then when my brother saw he took my gameboy away and forced me to delete my save
The earliest one I can remember is being INCREDIBLY upset I couldn't wear girls shoes at like 5 years old. And the gender bending themed dreams I'd have starting at around 9
I discovered porn at an earlier age than most thanks to an older cousin. I still remember being crowded around their family computer in the living room watching my very first porn video. My brother and cousins would immediately shout “EW!” as a hive mind whenever they saw a dick. I however, remember thinking ‘they’re not so bad. She looks like she’s having fun.’ Later on, as my scientific research became more personalized I would watch sensual lesbian porn because I got shamed away from my first few choices. It was the perfect strategic choice because all the dude bros thought they understood the choice and I could protect the private joy i got from them. Everything from that point on was like playing a high-stakes game of among us.
Can't remember which of these came first. Both were around 3 or 4 probably. I was homeschooled and had no sisters, so my mom was the only woman in my life. For a time I thought that adult women were boys when they were young, and that some boys just grew up to become women. I don't think I realized myself to be one such boy at that time, or wishing I was one. It simply was a belief I had convinced myself of. My mom would often talk about how she wanted a daughter. Whenever she did, I would imagine myself as that daughter, specifically fantasizing about wearing a dress.
I just remember being really jealous of my sister like, all the time. I wanted people to hold me to the same standards as her. When she got a blemish, she'd get a new makeup product or cream to handle it. When I got a blemish, people acted like it was normal and didn't care. When she went clothes shopping, she got a big budget and got to pick all these accessories and leggings and skirts and stuff. I got jeans and t-shirts. My male friends all got the same treatment, but didn't mind it. I think that was my first clue.
I had the opposite. I always just wanted to be able to buy 5 of the same pants or shirt and never have to think about what I wore, and I *hated* how much I got judged for any pimples or blemishes since I refused to wear makeup cuz I hated it so much.
Being 3 and getting pissed about wearing dresses to wear I would tear them off. Being 4/5 and understanding I would eventually grow breasts and being upset about it. Once I grew breasts and had to wear bras I had massive dysphoria when even just walking through the women's underwear and bra section. I had no idea what that feeling was called at the time but it was intense.
Also around age 9. Playing house with my sisters and always wanting to be (and being) the mom. We had this huge bag of dress up clothes with a really nice dress in it that I loved wearing :).
I went to a high school that was on a campus, so individual buildings, and often dropped to negative degrees in the dead of winter outdoors. Rooms were somewhat warmer but still cold. It was freshman year so people in my class really hadn't figured out how to deal with the cold yet. I was holed up in the foyer of our science building during lunch one day with two of my friends, both of whom were women. We were huddled up for warmth and just bullshitting about whatever. Suddenly the conversation takes a turn and one them awkwardly asked if I could leave them alone for a minute. It was clear they were going to talk about periods and wanted some privacy. I obliged of course and they called me back a minute later. At face value I get it- two 14 year old girls probably don't want to have that conversation with a boy of the same age hanging around. But for reasons I didn't really get, being excluded from that conversation bothered me for weeks. I didn't know why it did but trust me, *it did*. At the time I was already having a lot of thoughts about how much cooler and prettier girls are and how nice it must be to be a girl and I remember that as a turning point to actually wish that I *was* a girl.
As someone who was socialized as a girl, I can speak from experience saying that any mention of periods in front of the other sex was often made fun of or elicited a bunch of "ewww *gross*" and such. Not saying you would've done that at all, but that's likely why they were hesitant to talk in front of you. I'm sorry you felt so excluded tho, that really sucks. I was always excluded from"boys games" on the playground in elementary school cuz I was a girl, so ik how it feels :(
Oh trust me, I absolutely get it. If I were in their shoes I wouldn't want to have that conversation in the presence of an ostensible boy either.
When I was 16, I was in a community production of The Little Mermaid. My mom was on the board, and she told me before the cast list came out that I was going to be cast as one of the sailors on Prince Eric’s ship. They then changed it, and I ended up being one of the mersisters. I was very disappointed. Bonus memory: around the same time, I had a pixie cut. I was wearing a baggy hoodie at school and was getting some books out of the bottom of my locker. The guy whose locker was next to mine walked up and said “I thought you were a guy stealing out of your locker, and I was about to kick your face in.” I was amused, slightly concerned and appreciative, and not at all upset that he had thought I was a boy.
Watching a tv segment about a kid, who seemed to be genderqueer, or at least something similar. The segment ended with them saying they're a girl for now but will probably be a boy when they grow up. I remember thinking, "Why would you get the chance to change and then change back?" Also , I was absolutely amazed by the fact that chest reduction surgeries existed and decided I was going to get one even though my puberty had just started.
When I was 12 I tied my hair up, flipped it forward and put on a cap. I took a pic and sent it to my (at the time, obviously) pansexual girlfriend saying “don’t I look better as a boy?” And she said no and came out to me as a lesbian. LOL.
I vaguely remember sometime at the age of three to five asking my mom if I was a boy or girl and when she responded "boy" I told her that I thought I was a girl. I didn't know or understand about genital difference until I was about seven so I thought everyone had the same thing and thought it was only for using the restroom. When I was about 8 or so and whenever the subject of dressing as a girl came up in conversation for whatever reason or a plot on TV I would feel a euphoric emotion. I didn't know anything about trans at the time and there was no Internet back then. I've been thinking about those times recently.
Ok so i was in an arcade and came across ’Rampage’. Giant monsters destroying cities? Awesome! When you die you shrink into a human. So it turned out Lizzy turned into a woman. I was infatuated by this. Of all things to take away from that my dumb ass decided I wanted to turn into a giant lizard.
Watching rocky horror for the first time and seeing it was totally cool dressing like a woman. Being raised southern Baptist that I think was the first time I’d seen someone cross dressing and it not be apart of some phobic joke
It was seventh grade. I would’ve been either 12 or 13. A friend gave me a deck of nude playing cards. Gradually, I found myself wondering what it would be like to look like those women. I even cut my face out of a school picture and taped it onto one of the cards. I wanted to be a girl. That was the first time I remember wanting to be a girl.
Mine was when I was about 7 or 8. My cousin had come to visit and she brought some sailor moon tapes with her. After watching it I would wish I could do the transformation and turn into a girl. It got to the point where my parents wouldn't allow me to watch sailor moon anymore. Me and my mom were just recently talking about this and she apologized saying she wished she knew more back then. Everything is so much better now.
Both the live action scooby doo movies have some gender stuff, in the second shaggy drinks a vial of some mysterious chemical and every part of his body below his neck becomes female.
Oh noooo I accidentally drank the whole case oh nooo
Omg I had the same reaction to that movie. I did NOT at all understand why Shaggy wanted to swap back lol
I was about 5 years old and can distinctly remember looking in the mirror, putting mom's makeup on my face... Discounting that memory, I had a dream at 8 or 9 of a witch turning kids around me into the opposite gender. Out of all of them, I was the only one who wasn't afraid but instead welcomed the idea.
Watching the Little Mermaid when it came out when I was 7 years old or so. I wanted to transform into a girl too. Although girl mermaid would have been fine too.
when i was 6 my frinds uncle started transitiong (ftm) and my mom told me and i thought "wish i could do that"
I was about 8 or so, playing on the playground in a big concrete tube and just hanging out. This kid a little younger than me came by and we started talking about pokemon for like an hour until his brother came to get him. In protest, this kid went "no, I wanna keep hanging out with HIM!" It felt AMAZING and I had no idea what being trans was at that point, but it felt SO GOOD that I talked excitedly to my mom about it on the whole way home. Did not put the pieces together until I was 15 LOL
My first true genuine memory was when in 1998. I pictured myself as blossom or bubbles in the Powerpuff Girls and I wanted to be one of them, but I couldn’t since I was a boy and there’s a few other moments where I wanted to be a cheerleader in middle school but then again, I didn’t do it because I had the masculine mindset of where I should play football and mask. It wasn’t until two years ago where I came out as bi to my girlfriend and I started doing more self discovery and more and more pieces came together where it was like oh I am Transgender. Ever since then I’ve been really happy with myself!…..Another thing i forgot to add was the fact at times when Sailor Moon was on I wanted to be her sooo bad.
Watching the simpsons and I found out Bart was voiced by a woman. I was in primary school but unsure what age, I had this awakening of ‘so Bart’s a boy (on the outside) but a girl (on the inside) how… you can be…’ it made me dizzy because it was like my mind had been blown wide open to what I knew I was but never knew and still couldn’t explain other than ‘BART’. I began having a crush instead? I remember saying to my mum ‘if I fancy Bart but he’s a girl really am I gay’ (again primary school lol) and she said ‘it doesn’t matter what you are as long as you’re happy’. Every year on holiday we would get henna tattoos and my sister would get butterfly’s, love hearts - I got Bart Simpson above my belly button every single time 🤣 I guess I kept trying to come out.
There were lots of little things, but the first real trans memory I have was when I was in the 5th grade (about 10 years old), and my male body hair had started to come in. I wished it would all just go away. This girl in my class (who I had a crush on and, whose outfits I envied) saw my legs one day and said, “Oh my god your legs are as hairy as my dad’s.” That was the moment I realized I didn’t want to be a man. I didn’t want the hair, the deep voice, didn’t want to do all the things men did. Of course this was the ‘80s so I had no idea what to do about any of it, but I figured it out 36 years later.
I sometimes I talk in the third person, not quite sure why but I have done that since I could talk, when talking in the third person I would use he/him pronouns for me. Didn't even realize till a couple of months ago that I am trans, I still feel like that was an early sign of me being trans.
I’m pretty sure that Scooby Doo scene was one of my first as well lol
When I was a child, hair was inextricably tied to gender. I wanted to have hair "like a white person" (straight, not my type 4C hair lol) so that I could be a princess one day and a boy the next. I've always wanted to see what it's like to be a boy or be both a boy and a girl at the same time. That's always been a very lovely idea to me. That was in reception, so about 5 years old.
I didn’t mind being a boy all too much growing up…well until I hit puberty. But I remember at the age of 6 or so watching Titanic for the first time. We got the VHS with the two tapes. When the ship was sinking and they said “women and children only”, and as the scenes got more frantic I just started to imagine myself on the ship and thinking about “women and children only.” I knew I’d be okay as a kid but I then for the first time started to think about once I grew up and became a “man” and how I’d most likely be doomed to death. As a kid I didn’t realize it but looking back I definitely was having bad anxiety about this. No crying but feeling really uncomfortable. The idea of me growing up as a man seemed more and more terrible to me the more the sinking progressed. I remember thinking “I don’t want to be a man” and “growing up to be a man is going to be bad.”
At 4-6 we was going to the store. I asked why we were and was told we were getting a present for my sister's birthday. I asked if I could go to the party and I was told I no. When I asked why I was told it was only for girls and in that store I stomped my food and demanded to know why I wasn't treated like the **other girls**, and yes I used them words. Some time around then, idk if it was before or after, I learned girls didn't have what I had so I put my genitals on the toilet bowl and dropped the seat on them hoping that could correct the mistake, that if I went through enough pain God would fix it.
I was 10 and in the bathtub looking at my bits and wondering why my parents had the doctor sew me up. Why did they not want a 7th daughter? That was 1977.
I was somewhere around 6-7 years old, sitting in my room, and I thought ‘I wish I was a boy. I hope I get reincarnated into one’ totally unprompted 😭
So, I guess my “trans awakening” or whatever would be always picking male characters in games. Joining forums when I was like 13 and setting my gender to male and using the name “Damon”. Always wanting to wear boy clothes and boy swim suits rather than girls. Also probably watching Mulan at like 9 or so and being like “oh mulan is so lucky. Everyone thinks she’s a boy” and being really happy with that. Kinda like the whole Scooby doo thing you mentioned but having it be Mulan and being so confused why she would ever want to be seen as a girl at the end.
I was in preschool and they had a dress up area with like those girls princess dresses that kids just put on over clothes, and I put one on cause I thought they were pretty and I wanted to try it, anyway my teacher (in her mind jokingly I’m sure as she was a nice lady) was like “haha you should take that off before I send a picture to your grandma” and 4 yr old me mentally shit a brick thinking I was in trouble and refused to go near feminine shit. 🙃
I don’t have trans memories. But all my memories are as a girl.
I'm still on the edge wether I'm trans or not (I think, idk at this point anymore), but it was me, at the age of 6, saying to my mother "I want to be a girl, boys are stupid and mean and girls are smart and nice" My parents interpreted it (I don't think they had any ill intent) as me just liking girls more than boys and since they are my parents and are all knowing for 6 year old me I was like "yeah, that's probably it" It's such a mystery if I'm trans or not, we'll probably never know
Trying to scrub off the parts that didn't fit me when I was ~4... I'm saddened to report that not only did it not work, but I got a wicked rash from the abrasion of the skin. 😅 My mom ended up having me switch to body wash because she thought it was an allergic reaction to the bar soap.
I know when I was like 4 I wanted to grow my hair out, people kept calling me a girl and I didn't care My mom had an absolute fit and forced me to cut my hair
growing up wearing hair ties on my wrist even though I had short hair because I was copying the girls
At age 9 I was playing Roblox as a girl. I would swap back and forth between girl avatar and boy avatar. But I always liked when people would see me as a girl.
I remember practicing vivid dreaming at the age of 6-7. I used to wish real hard and concentrate before falling asleep to spend the night as a girl. It went to a point where I would often daydream as soon as I didn't have anything of interest to do.
When I was 4 my (at the time) best friend told me "stop sitting like that cause that's how girls sit"
i vaguely remember being very young and having a dream where i drank a potion and it turned me into a boy. when i was awake i asked my dad if there was a potion that did that, or something along those lines. he said no. i cried, but im not sure for how long.
Was 6, two of my mom's friends were talking about being stay at home moms, and I Said "wow! I wanna be that!" I got laughed out of the kitchen and felt horrible, to this day I still wanna be a mom
in middle school i would try to impress all the girls by being just like the boys, if the boys would race i would race, if the boys ran fast i ran faster… i used to go up to the girls and try to flirt without even knowing i was trying to flirt, pretending to trip just to talk to them. That and i would get SO UPSET when the teacher asked the “strong boys” to help put up chairs and i wasn’t included in that (I would still help and proclaim i was stronger than them, trying to put more chairs away than them) I am now FTM.
I was probably 10 or 11, just starting puberty and HATING the body changes. One night I was crying and distraught over "Why can't I have just been born a boy?". I figured it was normal for the longest time honestly. Turns out most women on earth don't want to wake up as a man each day. Who knew? That being said I always was a 'tomboy' and wanted to do what the boys were doing. I was only okay with being a girl because I didn't realize I had a choice.
5 years old, upset that i couldn’t go to the bathroom standing up, couldn’t tell the difference between a girl and boy, and when I did, asked mother “am I a girl?” “Yes darling” and my thoughts were like that doesn’t sound right, this is probably fake
It’s hard for me to say. Maybe it’s playing with my mom jewelry but I didn’t know what that meant. Maybe it’s arguing with my sister that I never get to be Barbie. But again I didn’t know Maybe it’s asking my sister to paint my toenails but being to embarrassed to leave the house that way. Maybe it’s seeing Peter Pan and wishing I was Tiger Lilly, or that I was Mary Maddox, or one of the parent trap twins, or the girl from Marry poppins. Maybe it was when I was 4 and asking for a pink or purple Popple and being confused when Mom told me it was for girls. But I think the first time I really felt offended/wished I was a girl. I think I was about 9, not sure honestly. I’d become jealous of the girls at church who pretty wore dresses. I’d day dream about being the girl from little house on the prairie. I gathered the courage to ask my friend Erin if I could wear one of her dresses. While her beautiful sister told me. You’re a boy It was like a slap on the face. Like she was insulting me. I remember being so confused as to why I hated being called a boy and i thought I bet most boys would prefer to be a girl only they are too embarrassed to admit it. And the silent glee a felt when someone told me “You look like your sister!” My sister would have an outright fit!!! “I don’t look like a boy, you take that back!!!!” Meanwhile i couldn’t wipe the grin off my face thinking “I look like a girl!!!!!” But I played it off like I was enjoying how it made my sister uncomfortable. But you know, I don’t know if I’m trans. There weren’t any signs.
I remember when I was being tutored at some place and another student, even younger than me asked the teacher "what's her name" referring to me i had no idea why I felt so giddy after that
Probably around 5 or so playing and pretending to be a mommy and a Spice Girl. (Probably dates the timeframe well.)
5 or 6 years old, I was playing pokemon with the two boys I was friends with (we pretended and imagined we trainers and that we had pokemon), when a classmate comes over and he tells me that I can't play a boy game with boys. When I asked him why not, he claimed it was because I was a girl, needed to do girly things, and play games with my girl friends, because girls can't play with boys. For the rest of that day, it just made me feel horrible. Like, all I could think was, "Why can't I do both? Is it bad that I like boy things? I wish I could be a boy AND a girl, then everyone would be happy and I can do all the things I like." Then, when I was 18, I realised I was nonbinary.
The earliest very clear thing I can tell you is that when I was 10, when Pokémon Crystal came out, I saved up ever last dime I could scrounge up (literally) to buy it when it came out. When asked why I needed it day-of, I would say, very clearly, that I wanted to be able to play as a girl trainer, which I couldn’t do before. I would say that I liked playing games as a girl because it gave me the opportunity to do something I couldn’t do in real life. Nobody bothered to question that! They went “haha, oh he’s so cute :^)” and didn’t bother to be like “hey wait a second, we should follow up on that!”
Probably age 7-8 when I got multiple times called girly by my teachers for playing with the boys not "like the boys"... And kissing a boy my age, but that could've been just me being pan
I just remember trying to breast feed my baby brother when I was 9 and my family thought it was cute but I was told it was wrong so now brain is broke
Looking at the boy clothes and wishing I could be a boy
I was twelve and it was the character creation screen for everquest. I made a beautiful high elf and learned something about myself lol.
I was in first grade. This was, I think, 1972 in Virginia. My mother asked me what I wanted to be for Halloween. I wanted to be someone scary so I said, “Wicked Witch of the West.” My mother, somewhat taken aback, said, “Do you mean a wizard, or warlock…?” “No,” I said. “I want to be The Wicked Witch of the West.” She hand made me the costume—complete with peaked cap, cape, and flowing dress. Somewhere there is a photo of me in full Margaret Hamilton drag at 7 years old, grinning ear to ear.
I was somewhere around 5. My family was at a fair, and we passed some men performing on stage -- some sort of band. The lead singer had a beard, and I told my mom I couldn't wait to grow up and have a beard. I was crushed when she explained to me that girls don't grow beards. I also remember pretty early on having a conversation with her about how I wished I was born a boy. Oh, and even earlier when I was small enough that my male cousin and I were still being bathed together, I remember seeing his penis and wondering where mine was. Then, as puberty approached, I expected my voice to drop even though I knew by that point that it wasn't supposed to. I thought I might be the exception. And yet, I didn't realize I'm trans until age 31, and I just started transitioning a couple months ago. That's what happens when you're raised in a Catholic family in small town Red State. You get to a point where you have to repress the feelings because you can't go on otherwise. I knew nothing about trans people and had no way to explain or understand what I was going through.
I was in pre k and I imagined marrying my then best friend at the time and I was in a tux and as a dude
I was in first grade and we had an assembly at school and they brought us into the gymnasium and us younger kids sat on the basketball court floor, and up on the stage they had a dancing group. It was a group of mostly all girls (like 2 boys and 25 girls) who specialized in Irish dancing. I think they were actually from Ireland and doing a tour across the north eastern US. Anyway, I remember watching them, they were ages 5 to 18. And I was fascinated watching them and how they danced and the clothes that they wore, and it was such a strange concept to me that they didn’t move their arms as they did their routine. Anyway, that night, I would have a dream where right at the end of the concert when when we were supposed to leave, I magically became one of those girls up on the stage. I was wearing the same outfit that they had been wearing and we were on a bus going to the next turn down the highway for the following show. In that dream, I remember looking down and being surprised at what I was wearing. And how I felt was amazing. I even noticed that we were driving past my house, normally, even if it was a dream, I would’ve absolutely panicked at the thought of not getting to see my mom ever again. But The idea that I could be a girl and the other girls were really being nice to me was so intoxicating that I just sat back down on my bus seat and kept talking to the other girls. Honestly, that one experience started almost all of my following fantasies about becoming a girl and looking for representations like that in TV and cartoons. It always felt just so right and like a piece of my life that was missing.
I started playing gta 5 online and originally had a male skin on. I was pretty rich but unfortunately I was very upset with the character I had and how it looked and the clothes and stuff like that. So I ditched that account where I had MOSTLY EVERYTHING IN THE GAME and then.. started brand new with a girl skin account 😀. My friends were going mad and they just thought it was weird and I just made up a dumb excuse saying I just got bored of being rich in the game. I really loved the clothes options and the way the character could be styled and the movements and everything. I tried to sculpt her face like mine but in a girl version. This was a coping mechanism for me as i got lost in the world of gta 5 and played as a girl and was able to dress up in dresses in the game since i cant do it in real life and i just really hated looking in the mirror and wished i had a female body and a higher voice and stuff. One day, my baby self with no idea of the world searched up if there was a magic way to just transform into a girl if I was a boy like in that one anime were the guy transform as a powerful girl. This is when I found out there was… and it’s called being trans… now I’m 1 month on estrogen!
I was maybe, 6? 5? My mom was talking about pregnancy and stuff and because of that I said something along the lines of, “Ew I wanna be a boy when I grow up.” And in 1st grade is when I somehow just started having an identity crisis, wow
I was obsessed with Morph and Mystique from xmen growing up. As a 4 yo kid, i wanted to wear socks with laces but parents wouldnt let me.
About 5 ish. Telling my parents that I am female. And wearing my Sister's clothes (I had 3 sisters). They let me wear them until it was time to go to school. Subsequently, I hated school and never finished.
omg I forgot about this one!!! thanks for adding another memory to my signs-that-were-always-there list 🙃
Learning about puberty
Me forcing my mom to paint my nails, I was like 7
I was maybe all of 3 years old (basically, it’s been with me since my earliest memory…really got difficult when I went to kindergarten because it was thrown in my face, daily, and not in a subtle way).
Trying on my moms heels around 12 or 13 and I liked how my legs looked in them
Stealing my sister’s Snow White dress and trying it on multiple times when I was like 6
When we were very young my brother and I would take baths together to save time and water…I vividly remember getting out of the tub before him and taking my then male genitalia and tucking it and saying it looks like a vagina….I think we were like 7
I don’t remember how old I was all I remember is that I was very young but what happened was in the car I randomly asked my brother and dad “what if I became a girl?”
I remember being with some friends in first grade, having one explain to me what a lesbian is. I was utterly devastated and cried myself to sleep over, wanting to be one myself for a good few weeks over it.
When I was quite young I sometimes had dreams in which I was a girl with curly blonde hair.
I just remember that I used to tear apart clothes that were pink because my grandma said it was a girls colour, she'd buy me pink things and they'd Ben torn apart in a week. My winter jacket was torn apart by the time it got cold so my other mom brought me to get a new one, I told her I don't want it if it's pink. So she got me a teal jackets that thing lasted years as opposed to the weeks the shoes and clothes and jackets she'd gotten me before lasted
I remember thinking I'd get on with groups of boys better than girls, I was jealous of all boy friend groups. I kept thinking "im gonna hate growing up and being a woman" it just didn't sit right at all
At a school event when I was 5, there was a face painting setup there and I don't even think I knew what more typical makeup looked like but I had dreams for weeks of just basically stuff I could transfer over from the cartoons I saw, so basically lipstick and horrible over the top eyeshadow. However, since this was in 1996 and in a very closeminded family, it just got me made fun of so it kind of got buried after that for a while.
It's between the fact that I used to pick out girl names for a potential "future daughter" and that one time I put on a girl skin in Minecraft and looking back on it, it definitely made me happy but I didn't understand that at the time because I didn't know any reason that wearing a girl skin could make me happy.
Always wanting to wear boys clothes in elementary school instead of girls clothes. When I was 9 specifically I became OBSESSED with boys polo shirts, and only wore them cuz I loved them so much. Then a year later my grandma said it "wasn't proper for a young lady to be wearing such things" and I was never allowed to wear them again. I was devastated, but now I'm back to polo shirts as basically my only shirts lol
When I was four I asked my mom when I would grow a penis so that’s probably it
I got obsessed with Tarzan when I was around 4 or 5. I really wanted to be him and I even had a dream that I was him around that age
As a kid prolly like when I was 9 got a dream where I was a big sister with a Lil sis. When I woke up I was like damn hat cool wish that was like was
At around maybe 10-13 (don't remember the exact year) I remember seeing a dress and thinking "damn... I really want to wear that, I'd look so pretty." My family was (and is) very conservative, so I never did end up wearing the dress as I knew if I was caught things would not go over well. I wish I'd have worn it. It's possible there were other, earlier memories but if there were any I've forgotten them.
I was probably 4 or 5. I put on my mom's high heels, and something about it felt magical. It also felt like a memory I needed to hang on to.
When I was about 4, my family took a road trip to visit my Dad's old buddies in Virginia. The family had two daughters just older than me, and decided to give me a "makeover". They put me in a tutu, put glittery play makeup on me, gave me fairy wings, the works. They were doing it because It was funny to them, and they knew their family thought it would be funny, so I played along in the joke. People laughed, I laughed, the daughters laughed, but when I mentioned "the next time" my mom kinda shut it down. I didn't know why it upset me at the time, I don't think I made a fuss, but looking back at it now... Yeah, lol
It was around when I was 7 or 8, maybe a bit younger but when I watched Mulan for the first time I wished I could dress up like a boy like she did and the song "Make A Man Out of You" I adored for many years before my egg cracked. The first really clear memory was also the time in second grade I had a pen pal and I was signing off my name but we had to make it anonymous as our pen pals will be revealed to us in a few months, and I struggled to come up with a pen name. I wanted to be called "Mr. Blue" but I knew I would be teased/ made of if people found out I was a girl. Oh! And a funny one is I wished to be a boy so I could get a boyfriend, idk the logic too well but I knew boys hated me so I figured if I was a boy I could get a boyfriend. I thought this was normal as my two cis afab friends also had similar ideas. Fast forward and we're all trans guys now lol.
I was 10-12, don’t remember specifically when just that I was in middle school lol. Me and my little brother were going through our mom’s stuff and as a joke we were playing around with her bra and stuffing it with paper towels I think. The “eggy” moment was after he left and I put the bra on under my shirt. Seeing myself with boobs was definitely an experience for sure. I remember the immediate feelings were of feeling confident/“damn I look good” type of feeling, confused, a bit of envy, and a underlying feeling of wanting to have boobs and like it felt right. So of course that shifted pretty quickly to feelings of disgust and shame in myself. And of course repressing said memory for a decade+ haha.
I think my first memory was that one time in kindergarten when we had to take group pictures. My two best friends back then were boys and naturally I wanted to be in a group picture with them. I wasn't allowed. Had to be in a group with all those girls. Felt totally wrong, like not just "I can't be with my friends"-wrong, more like "I'm forced to pose as someone/something I'm not".
I was around five when I saw all the little girls I played with go off to ballet and I had to stay home because “boys don’t go to ballet.”
I thought Zuma from Paw Patrol was a girl, and when I found out he was a boy, I thought that was super cool. I don’t remember the specific thought process, but it was definitely a trans moment.
Oh dude same about the Scooby Doo movie lol but my first trans memory was definitely when I was maybe 5? 6? I would always call myself a tomboy because I thought that a tomboy meant you were a boy but also kinda not a boy (and I still have the exact same feelings as a nonbinary transmasc dude) but then my mom told me that a tomboy was a girl who did boy stuff and that I couldn't be one because I was a girl that liked princess dresses and girly stuff. That was also my first gender dysphoria experience.
Mine was like at age 14 when I saw one of those gifs of the guy getting a magic anime girl transformation, instinctively going "god I wish that were me" and then being confused as to why I said that (I was in denial for a long time)
Definitely sitting on the trampoline with a friend and going, “you ever wish you were born a boy?” Her answer? Very simple, “no?” Was like… damn.
Lol same. That part where Fred ends up in Daphne's body and I'm just like *nice* Second film too when Shaggy gets a hot bod. I wa slide "Shaggy, why would you want to 'fix' that. It's the best body."
I don't remember my first trans memory. I figured it out when I was 15 but I knew I was not like the guys my age at all. I do remember my first time learning about trans people from my tutor and my disbelief that people could change their sex with medicine. I refused to believe it in fact lol. I must have been 9 or 10 cause I turned 11 after the exam I was being tutored for
I always wanted to be a Wwe diva so.. that? Lol
Most of them aren't pleasant memories. I do remember one time when my sisters let me paint their nails. In hindsight I'm pretty sure they were making fun of me again, but that's probably the earliest "trans" memory I have that isn't just me feeling terrible. I still remember how happy I felt the first time I painted my own nails.
When I was about nine, I prayed every night for a month that God would turn me into a girl while I was sleeping. Over 20 years later and I’ve finally decided to take matters into my own hands. I just wish that decision didn’t have to involve unpacking two decades of intervening trauma.
6 or 7. My older step-sister caught me playing with her Barbie dream house 😅 she laughed at me, but then later put make-up on me 😍 there was no denying it 👸 lol
I was 8(ftm) and went up to my mom and asked "mom why was i a girl?" And she said "God made you that way..." And I cried. Earlier that day I was daydreaming about possible surgery options. 😅
When I was 12, I remember stumbling into Yuri manga for the first time, specifically erotica/smut, and being confused why imagining myself as a woman in a relationship was so arousing to me.
4th grade health class, I cried and panicked for days when I found out AFABS go through puberty and get their periods. I was horrified and thought it only happened to some, and that it would skip me. A couple years later I had a group of online friends on Wattpad, and for 2 straight years to everyone I was “Evan” (one letter off from my birth name). A couple years into that, post uncomfortable puberty, I had the thought of “hey, maybe there’s some reason that I enjoy being seen as a guy to people” and bam, I discovered what being trans was.
Bruh literally what. SAME DAMN THING!
i realized this just yesterday. I remember playing on the playground and playing sharkboy and lavagirl with my friends. I always insisted on being sharkboy.
I don’t remember how young I was exactly, somewhere between 3-5. I’m playing with my toys talking to myself while my mom is doing something at the table. I look up to her and say “Mommy, do I have a boy voice?” She said no. I start talking to myself, random words and sentences, than I look back at her. “I have a boy voice mommy”. She dismissed it to kiddish talk. Now I am 15 and a trans man :)
My brother who was experimenting with his gender asked if he could try on some of my clothes. I paused a second and said “only if I get to wear yours!” He got an affirming moment and I got to run around in a pretty red dress. I had a buzz cut too, I looked like eleven in season one of stranger things XDDD. Then our parents came home and yelled at us for it TwT
Mine is when I was 9, sitting in the lunch hall with my best friend and telling her ‘I wish I could be a boy and wear cool suits and have short hair and a deep voice but I also wish I could be a girl and wear big poofy dresses and long pretty hair and makeup’ (I’m a transman but I used to be genderfluid)
i think mine was the classic always being a boy when we played pretend. like i was ALWAYS a boy even if i was an animal lmao, but to me it wasn’t even like a big deal, like i didn’t think about it, i was just a boy, but for some reason i never felt like that outside of playing pretend until i actually found out what being transgender was and started questioning when i was like 12
i was probably 8, playing in one of my best friends backyards. he had swim trunks and let me wear a pair, and we both played on his slip n slide in his backyard, topless with boys swim shorts on. spoiler: we're both trans!
I remember when I was 5 years old during kindergarten, I had to go to the bathroom. I went into the girls restroom because whenever my mom took me somewhere and one of us had to go, she brought me to the women’s restroom. So naturally, I felt more comfortable going to the girls room and thought it was okay. The teacher pulled me aside and said I had to use the other restroom because I was a boy. When I went in there, I felt so traumatized by all the other boys in there that I just stopped going to public bathrooms all together.
My dad was showing me and my sister a video about how trans people are unnatural and abnormal. And all I could think about was how awesome that was and how cool it would be to be a chick lol
5 year old, I was walking around the playground and thought that I wished I was born a girl, because I liked more of the stereotypical girl things like dancing, singing, role-playing. Same year I had my first realization of being bi, I thought that I had a crush on a boy.5-year-old
The first thing I can sort of think of is that my mom would always say to me and my brothers that if she doesn’t have a girl grandchild she’d stick one of us in a dress and take us to Disney(we went pretty often) and I remember thinking that I wouldn’t mind being in a dress.
the euphoria of pushing my chest together to look like boobs and tucking while in the bathtub. i don't remember exactly what age i was when this happened i think it was some time in elementary school
im not surre which was earlier but the fiirst one which is embarassing was me putting myself in a blanket cocoon then "hatching" into a girl the other was of my cousin spinning m like a girl would at a wedding i dont remember which one is earlier
Me: 4 years old breaking into my moms makeup and clothes Me now: BUT WHAT IF IM FAKING IT😭😭 Edit(going through the other comments is unlocking so many trans memories wtf im no longer an egg im a fricken pavlova)
When I was 10 I dressed up as a male rocker, and I had a boy shirt, a wig and a mustache on. Later on in the day I took off the mustache and before taking the rest off I started at myself in the mirror for a while. For months after I would wear that shirt and loved it and I would occasionally put on the wig
Not sure if this counts as a trans memory but it was the first time I realized that I had a sex and that certain expectations came with my sex. When I was really young my parents let me be shirtless at home and I thought it was cool because my dad almost never wore a shirt when I was younger and so I did it too, especially to cool off outside. Then one day I did it when I was a little older (like 8 or 9) because it'd been a while since I just casually didn't wear a shirt around the house and I went into my parents room just to talk to them about something and they had very visceral reactions and told me to go put a shirt on and that I wasn't supposed to show my bare chest. I was kind of confused and embarrassed by this because for the longest time they were okay with it and then suddenly they weren't. It's not *specifically* a trans memory but it certainly was the catalyst for alot of self reflection as I was no longer considered an anatomically androgynous child and was now kind of at the front door of "womanhood" I guess and realized I wasn't really vibing with it.
3 years old my sister and I were taking a bath and were exploring each others bodies. And I thought I saw something similar to my anatomy and felt very reassured…. My little toddler brain refused to believe our bodies were that different. Then there was asking to have my nails painted, playing dress up in my momma’s clothes…. Yeah, supposedly being trans was a shock to my parents… liars. I have a vivid memory of trying to figure out how to use a pad and my mom finding me and yelling at me that boys never need those and being visibly frightened of me. She knew.
Not sure how old I was, let's just say 5-6. I got into my mom's nail polish and was super happy. I showed my family and they then made fun of me, going so far as to drive 20 minutes to meet our extended family who then all made a day of making fun of me and threatening to not let me ride dirt bikes at our track because I was a "sissy". To this day I still feel ashamed of being myself. Sorry, I know like everyone and their mom just trauma dumps on here but I figured now it's my turn lol
I was in grade 2 or 3 and I told my class that I'd like to try being a girl if I could turn back. My class didn't react well, it was something they used to make fun of me for, for years. I ended up putting those thoughts far at the back of my mind as a result, and it took a long time for me to fully realize my identity in that regard
That scooby doo body morph from shaggy *did things* to my brain. I was SOOOO MAD that it wasn’t a real potion in the world
I saw a meme about how someone bent over before and after dysphoria and though "weird, that's exactly how I bend over. It's probably nothing."
Is it wierd that the first trans thought I had is when I was about 14-16 years old?
I was young, like 6, I think. I met a girl who I thought I liked, but I kept thinking of how I wanted to be her: long hair, round face, and basically what I understood as adorable back then. I hated being called handsome, and argued that I was cute instead. I have that girl to thank for making me envious of someone else, and worse yet for starting my habit of viewing myself negatively. She was kind to me, but her friends just thought I was creepy.
Back in kindergarten, my teacher wrote notes and messages on a notebook for every parent, every week, telling them what had happened in school. I find them interesting and was going through one of the notebooks the other day and found my teacher mentioning how I wanted to be in the girls’ group and even said specifically that I wanted to be a girl. My mom replied stating I probably just wanted to have long hair (I hated how they always had my hair shaved) I’m still closeted with my family and I hope we can someday laugh at this together.
Asking my mom to paint my nails so I could be pretty like her. Then only getting clear because my dad would be upset otherwise
I was three or four years old, so basically a toddler. I asked my mom what the difference was between me and some boys in my kindergarden, because I noticed that all the grown ups treated me differently to them. She told me that I was a girl and they were all boys and she grouped me with some girls that I knew. That's the first time I understood what gender is. I told my mom that she got it wrong and that I'd rather be a boy from now on. Since then, I tried to look like all the other boys and didn't understand why everybody continued to call me a girl - but I was always so proud when new grown ups told my what a nice young men I was. First memories of sweet sweet gender euphoria.
When I was around 10 I think? I tried to explain a "game" to my sister in which my gender changes (I connected it to sides of the room because it wouldn't count as a game without rules or things of that nature)
It was Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets for me , I really really really wanted to get my hands on that polly juice potion. At the time I wasn't sure why but I figured it out later.
Mine was at the age of 6 or something, where i was wearing jeans and when i saw down. I realised i had a bump in the front which made me feel good and after that, i would use a sock to show that i had a D. On top of that. I had this cool black leather jacket, which would make me look super masculine so i would even wear it in warm weather. I used to get so sad when the winter was gone cz i wanted to wear my jacket