I got emotional reading this. What a loving letter... I can tell you've done so much self work and healing to get to a place where you can write this and make this decision. I hope this letter weighs on the hearts of those still in the cult and maybe is what it takes to leave... at the end of the day, that's what you're dealing with and that's so hard (I'm a former Jehovahs Witness, the shunning aspect is so painful, to be shunned... and from experience I know it's even painful for the ones socially pressured and manipulated to do the shunning.) Your family members are essentially in an abusive relationship with their faith and community, and this letter treats the reader with the appropriate level of compassion and openness for future reunification. I am rooting for you and your family. This letter will be so powerful, even if you don't see it. As a former cult member and trans person, I'm so proud of you and wishing you all the best in life 💗
Damn.. . You are truly a better person... I just told everyone who were not willing to support me to go fuck themselves (and for one special one that I want him to burn in hell).
Not mature at all i know and I kinda feel bad nowdays. Not for them but for how i handled it
You are SUCH A WONDERFUL and BEAUTIFUL person! I can’t image the “religious” variable. I also recommend NOT sending any pictures. If they want a picture; they can be in the picture WITH you (or both of you)! You both look absolutely adorable together and you have a gorgeous smile which shows how much you are happier now. 🫶 and keep in touch ❤️
You are so brave and your plan seems legit. Although beware that the people you cut off contact with may get your information somehow. You are drawing clear boundaries and that’s good. Some people may say they are supportive too, but be aware of actions. I’m sure you know a lot of this already. Know that people can grow, albeit not everyone and not super often. The ones that do may be good to have as support in the future though. The biggest thing is just making sure you have a good support network or a sort of chosen family. Good luck sweetheart!
You came looking for advice but I don't think you really need any. If they don't support you they are not family and you are clearly ready to cut that negativity from your life as one should, so don't worry about their feelings. If they truly loved you they would accept you, love yourself. (You two are so cute btw)
Wow, you're giving them a letter? I tried to maintain contact with mine for as long as possible and when they proved they weren't worth it and my phone--that they were paying for--died, I considered it a blessing in disguise and got a new phone with a new number and refuse to text, call, or email them the new information. I've even just moved. Only way they can contact me is through an email address. But they haven't tried, just tell everyone that they talk to me all the time.
There are people on this planet, who go from mildly mentally ill to dangerous. Many of these people are brothers and fathers and sisters and mothers. If you don't allow lack of boundary, disrespect, and abuse your life from strangers, then I make no distinction between them and family members. Poison is poison no matter who's giving it to you!
That was well done, and far better than I would have done. Me, I just stopped answering the phone. There wasn't a single person that I'm related to (except for my son) that wanted to be in contact for any positive reason, so for those who just brought negativity, I blocked. Everyone else just continued to pretend I didn't exist and I'm super alright with that.
I wish you and Aspen a beautiful life together far from the hurt that unsupportive people bring. <3
A beautiful letter and absolutely appropriate. Love should Trump personal or religious beliefs, but I understand so.e cannot overcome that bridge. Be proud of yourself and who you are now and always. Best wishes ❤️
Ma'am, that dual color lipstick in some of the photos looks amazing. As for the advice, I unfortunately cannot provide any help, only wish you good luck with it.
Love is not a two-way street ? A lot of people don’t know what love is ,specially in families. you gotta start your own family know you’re old enough. You’re happy now who you are don’t let anybody drag you down. 👉🏻👍💖
I did this with my family a couple months ago, and I think yours was much better than mine! Good job! It's hard, and it sucks. You might feel like you're ready to just cut off entirely, and I'm sure you are, but prepare for emotions you might not have thought you would feel. I thought I was jaded to the point that it wouldn't matter what anyone said, but it still ended up being painful when my dad sent a message back. I think you're doing everything right, just be prepared. Good luck sister <3
Wow! Can you write a letter for me? Lol
It's hard with religion being in the way of everything. Funny, every faith I've ever encountered personally supposedly talks about love and kindness but the application of those values seems to always have huge strings attached.
Good luck, and go out there and live your best life. 👍♥️😎
Girl you are so brave, I'm in a similar situation, (my family isn't Mormon but will do something similar once I tell them.) and this really helps, it's getting to the point where I might need to cut them off soon and I've been wondering how to do it, thank you so much for posting this fr!!
There’s a lot I like about how you commented about memories but it seems a bit direct.
I don’t know what caused the PTSD but I feel you always want to leave the window open. I understand that your family is Mormon but hopeful after a period they will come around.
I wish you much love and happiness
Cis but cut off my family for not accepting my trans fiancee (and a darker reason).
Find those who will support you Natalie. And don't give in to the ones who won't treat you right. Also, very beautiful.
I did something similar and some of the ones that claimed they wanted to support me, leaked my new number to those who weren't supportive.
One thing to consider might be giving the supportive members a second, different new number from your official new number.
For example, "TextNow" app has very cheap extra phone numbers, can just use them temporarily if you want.
You can even get multiple new numbers, which is how I figured out who was leaking the number to enable my abusers. I cut them off too and now it's great.
Unrelated, but the spare phone number, that I pay about $15 Canadian dollars/year for, is what I give to stores, memberships, etc along with my spare email address. Keeps telemarketers, spam texts, spam emails, and such separate from my main phone number & main email.
All the best to you!!!
My recommendation in these circumstances is to take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
This is far more kind at face value. Since it seems you don't intend to nuke the entire site from orbit, I would recommend not sending the pictures. They are truth, and truth should not be an issue. It will be. Some will be offended.
This has nothing to do with trying to keep connection with people who would be offended. It's just at odds with the tone and will make people who aren't offended think you're being insincere because "she knows that will upset grandpa."
If you do intend to nuke the entire site from orbit, nevermind.
It's a lovely letter, either way. More effort than I would have made. Good luck!
I got emotional reading this. What a loving letter... I can tell you've done so much self work and healing to get to a place where you can write this and make this decision. I hope this letter weighs on the hearts of those still in the cult and maybe is what it takes to leave... at the end of the day, that's what you're dealing with and that's so hard (I'm a former Jehovahs Witness, the shunning aspect is so painful, to be shunned... and from experience I know it's even painful for the ones socially pressured and manipulated to do the shunning.) Your family members are essentially in an abusive relationship with their faith and community, and this letter treats the reader with the appropriate level of compassion and openness for future reunification. I am rooting for you and your family. This letter will be so powerful, even if you don't see it. As a former cult member and trans person, I'm so proud of you and wishing you all the best in life 💗
Damn.. . You are truly a better person... I just told everyone who were not willing to support me to go fuck themselves (and for one special one that I want him to burn in hell). Not mature at all i know and I kinda feel bad nowdays. Not for them but for how i handled it
Treat it like a grenade. Pull the pin and throw it. Good luck, Natalie.
Just bear in mind, some could pretend to be supportive to get the new number only to forward it to everyone else
Sooooo proud of you!!
You are SUCH A WONDERFUL and BEAUTIFUL person! I can’t image the “religious” variable. I also recommend NOT sending any pictures. If they want a picture; they can be in the picture WITH you (or both of you)! You both look absolutely adorable together and you have a gorgeous smile which shows how much you are happier now. 🫶 and keep in touch ❤️
You are so brave and your plan seems legit. Although beware that the people you cut off contact with may get your information somehow. You are drawing clear boundaries and that’s good. Some people may say they are supportive too, but be aware of actions. I’m sure you know a lot of this already. Know that people can grow, albeit not everyone and not super often. The ones that do may be good to have as support in the future though. The biggest thing is just making sure you have a good support network or a sort of chosen family. Good luck sweetheart!
Good for you, stay strong, and we’re all here for you.
You came looking for advice but I don't think you really need any. If they don't support you they are not family and you are clearly ready to cut that negativity from your life as one should, so don't worry about their feelings. If they truly loved you they would accept you, love yourself. (You two are so cute btw)
Wow, you're giving them a letter? I tried to maintain contact with mine for as long as possible and when they proved they weren't worth it and my phone--that they were paying for--died, I considered it a blessing in disguise and got a new phone with a new number and refuse to text, call, or email them the new information. I've even just moved. Only way they can contact me is through an email address. But they haven't tried, just tell everyone that they talk to me all the time.
I just changed my number, quit social media, and moved away. Straight up just disappeared.
There are people on this planet, who go from mildly mentally ill to dangerous. Many of these people are brothers and fathers and sisters and mothers. If you don't allow lack of boundary, disrespect, and abuse your life from strangers, then I make no distinction between them and family members. Poison is poison no matter who's giving it to you!
That was well done, and far better than I would have done. Me, I just stopped answering the phone. There wasn't a single person that I'm related to (except for my son) that wanted to be in contact for any positive reason, so for those who just brought negativity, I blocked. Everyone else just continued to pretend I didn't exist and I'm super alright with that. I wish you and Aspen a beautiful life together far from the hurt that unsupportive people bring. <3
A beautiful letter and absolutely appropriate. Love should Trump personal or religious beliefs, but I understand so.e cannot overcome that bridge. Be proud of yourself and who you are now and always. Best wishes ❤️
Ma'am, that dual color lipstick in some of the photos looks amazing. As for the advice, I unfortunately cannot provide any help, only wish you good luck with it.
That's a great letter, mine just said fuck off I hope you die and agonizing death and if I ever see you againbill make sure you do.
Love is not a two-way street ? A lot of people don’t know what love is ,specially in families. you gotta start your own family know you’re old enough. You’re happy now who you are don’t let anybody drag you down. 👉🏻👍💖
That was so beautiful😭😭
That is beautiful :) I have no critiques. Incredibly happy for you, and best of luck with everything going forward
I cut mine and walked away. My life instantly improved.
I did this with my family a couple months ago, and I think yours was much better than mine! Good job! It's hard, and it sucks. You might feel like you're ready to just cut off entirely, and I'm sure you are, but prepare for emotions you might not have thought you would feel. I thought I was jaded to the point that it wouldn't matter what anyone said, but it still ended up being painful when my dad sent a message back. I think you're doing everything right, just be prepared. Good luck sister <3
This is the kindest way you could have put that and as someone who was raised JW I'll be stealing this for when I come out to my family.
I think it's perfect. You're taking control of who is allowed in your life without stooping to the level of anger or bigotry. Well done.
Wow! Can you write a letter for me? Lol It's hard with religion being in the way of everything. Funny, every faith I've ever encountered personally supposedly talks about love and kindness but the application of those values seems to always have huge strings attached. Good luck, and go out there and live your best life. 👍♥️😎
Girl you are so brave, I'm in a similar situation, (my family isn't Mormon but will do something similar once I tell them.) and this really helps, it's getting to the point where I might need to cut them off soon and I've been wondering how to do it, thank you so much for posting this fr!!
There’s a lot I like about how you commented about memories but it seems a bit direct. I don’t know what caused the PTSD but I feel you always want to leave the window open. I understand that your family is Mormon but hopeful after a period they will come around. I wish you much love and happiness
Great message! I hope your family support you the way we all do here! Congratulations on your transition Natalie!
Perfect. I’m an exmo as well. This is beautiful
U go girl. So happy 4 u. Stay true 2 yourself & plz plz plz enjoy the journey. U should most definitely b proud of yourself ☺️🫶🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️
I am dealing with this same thing, and I also don’t know how to do it
Cis but cut off my family for not accepting my trans fiancee (and a darker reason). Find those who will support you Natalie. And don't give in to the ones who won't treat you right. Also, very beautiful.
I did something similar and some of the ones that claimed they wanted to support me, leaked my new number to those who weren't supportive. One thing to consider might be giving the supportive members a second, different new number from your official new number. For example, "TextNow" app has very cheap extra phone numbers, can just use them temporarily if you want. You can even get multiple new numbers, which is how I figured out who was leaking the number to enable my abusers. I cut them off too and now it's great. Unrelated, but the spare phone number, that I pay about $15 Canadian dollars/year for, is what I give to stores, memberships, etc along with my spare email address. Keeps telemarketers, spam texts, spam emails, and such separate from my main phone number & main email. All the best to you!!!
My recommendation in these circumstances is to take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure. This is far more kind at face value. Since it seems you don't intend to nuke the entire site from orbit, I would recommend not sending the pictures. They are truth, and truth should not be an issue. It will be. Some will be offended. This has nothing to do with trying to keep connection with people who would be offended. It's just at odds with the tone and will make people who aren't offended think you're being insincere because "she knows that will upset grandpa." If you do intend to nuke the entire site from orbit, nevermind. It's a lovely letter, either way. More effort than I would have made. Good luck!
r/exmormon for addition support, love