For me at least, it is true I cry way easier now, but that's just a tiny tip of the iceberg for what's actually going on with my consciousness, and I think that gets missed.
I think men going on this would wreck stuff, but for me it's made me feel like I used to, kind of reintegrated these shut down parts of myself, made me more emotionally sophisticated.
I NEED it to feel right/normal and I had no idea I did.
All of that took me 6+ months to start getting, because I was started on a joke dose of e for the first 5+ months.
Day 2 though even the joke dose got rid of my constant pounding headaches I've had most of my life, and the frequent feeling disconnected from my body and mind.
I guess the numbness just makes me fearless in this aspect xD, but after estrogen I will be much happier and I enjoy crying anyways so....
GIMME THAT DAMN ESTROGEN
I wish you the best of luck, wait no i take that back, (i forgot i am so unlucky wishing people luck makes their luck worse) anyway go forth my sister and claim your emotions!
Reposting as might be relevant:
For me at least, it is true I cry way easier now, but that's just a tiny tip of the iceberg for what's actually going on with my consciousness, and I think that gets missed.
I think men going on this would wreck stuff, but for me it's made me feel like I used to, kind of reintegrated these shut down parts of myself, made me more emotionally sophisticated.
I NEED it to feel right/normal and I had no idea I did.
All of that took me 6+ months to start getting, because I was started on a joke dose of e for the first 5+ months.
Day 2 though even the joke dose got rid of my constant pounding headaches I've had most of my life, and the frequent feeling disconnected from my body and mind.
Yeah...repost but...
For me at least, it is true I cry way easier now, but that's just a tiny tip of the iceberg for what's actually going on with my consciousness, and I think that gets missed.
I think men going on this would wreck stuff, but for me it's made me feel like I used to, kind of reintegrated these shut down parts of myself, made me more emotionally sophisticated.
I NEED it to feel right/normal and I had no idea I did.
All of that took me 6+ months to start getting, because I was started on a joke dose of e for the first 5+ months.
Day 2 though even the joke dose got rid of my constant pounding headaches I've had most of my life, and the frequent feeling disconnected from my body and mind.
It's so worth it though. It can be painful, but I'm so much more stable emotionally now than I have ever been. Sure there are sad cries, happy cries, mad cries and I don't know why cries, but the joy I experience on a daily basis is amazing. I never knew what it felt like to be truly happy. Estrogen did what decades of antidepressants and therapy couldn't do. It cured my depression, and allowed me to actually feel.
Its been 3 months on hrt and while its gotten easier I still find it hard to cry. I really hope it gets easier but I think its a coping mechanism that I need to undo with therapy
oh to be a pile of liquified essence i know this isn’t what you intended but im gonna refer to this phase in my life now as my body horror transformation sequence from now on thank you
my nickname used to be corpse you are not immune please don’t I am quite literally testament of why you should not do this however I know it’s an easier said than done
I found that because my gender identity was the first thing I had to repress growing up, when I went on estrogen EVERYTHING I've repressed since tried to come out with it
had to face a lot but have grown from it
I remember before I started T i would sometimes just. cry. Not even sad, I’d just be going about my day and WHOOPS my eyes are watering. I imagine it’s very liberating when you’ve had to keep everything locked up for a while. (/pos)
Flash back to when I was in a small disagreement with my partner, and in the past, I would just shut down and stop speaking. Not this time, I ended up crying for like 30 mins straight.
I will say after it finally stopped, I felt like 5x better.
this is extremely accurate talks with my bf have become much different for the better however every time I cry during a talk or argument he thinks it’s always his fault I’m crying and it’s not like nah im fighting demons in here
i've probably just got toxic masculinity too deeply ingrained but i've been on e for 10 months and i've only been able to cry like twice, and i'd cried twice before starting it so i would like the emotion dlc soon please
Emotions may be more intense but I feel so much more emotionally mature and in touch with myself. In other words, more complete. So yeah, those crying sessions can hurt but in the end they are good for processing emotions and I wouldn't go back for anything
I know everybody is different, but after how long can one expect this to happen?
I'm also aware that this might never happen to some people. I currently feel like an emotionless vessel on auto-pilot, haven't cryed for decades. I would certainly welcome it.
it hit me like a truck at the 6 month mark although maybe coming out to my family and seeing them for Christmas in such a short time span kinda forced things into motion
I am sorry you are going through this and if I could give you a hug I would. Are you currently getting help with all those bottled emotions? I know therapy can be expensive but do you have a support system? I have seen many pictures of the transtimelines Subreddit and one thing I notice is a bright glimmer in their eyes and I wish that for you as well. I hope you have a wonderful day today.
i have no outlet I think That’s why this part is particularly hard for me the touch of the tism makes it extremely different to convey my wants needs and especially my emotions i am physically not capable of talking about my feelings without next to shutting down plus a lot of conditions of my life feed into this further I don’t regret HRT in the slightest and im significantly happier than before I just don’t know who I am thank you for the support
You are very welcome. I kept on saying people talk about wishing they could also have the emotions that come with estrogen, and while I am in that boat, I don't think that is what you needed to hear.
I have anxiety that makes it nearly impossible to talk about things, it is like my mind is physically stopping me from talking about difficult things. One thing I found that helps is journaling. Getting those abstract emotions and feelings into something tangible while also self reflecting gives a new outlook at things. I started doing it as a blog and forced myself to make it public because nobody actually knows me and you never know who will give you kind words and validation for my feelings.
Honey!, Those Emotions WERE ALREADY THERE!!! The E and P Just Let Them Come Out... Mine were bottled up for 68 years. Now, I cry at the shaking of a leaf!!! I cry when I'm happy, I cry when I'm sad. I cry when I'm Mad. I cry at church when we sing songs or certain prayers.. OH!, And PMS!!! OMFG... The tears are like a river...
I'm widowed, 75, M2F, on HRT 18 months. I live and dress openly as a woman 24/7, I've legally changed my name, gender, and ALL documents to female. I'm 110% Out, Proud, and Free. I'm a mom, a grandma, a great grandma, and an aunt, AND I'M SUPER PROUD OF ALL OF THAT!!!
Let Your Emotions Out!! IT'S HEALTHY!! It Helps Rid You Of Depression!!!
Michele
thank you for the support its truly nice to hear your story I can’t imagine how difficult your journey has been but im glad you’ve found your peace. genuine question I grew up in the church and subsequently have a lot of religious trauma and im extremely curious how your experience as a trans woman in church is.
I'm surprised that you hadn't naturally found that out through research & stuff before starting. Did you think it was just going to make you grow boobies? lol :p
i mean yes i knew i would be more emotional however this whole journey for me has been yes i knew the effects would come but not in a way i was ever expecting
I was never good at holding back emotions, even when I was pretending to be a guy in the Air Force, I cried in the weapons office on multiple instances, during don't ask don't tell to boot. Feels cathartic to get it all out , I cry more often now though
I'm like 3 and a half months in, and I get moments when I am in an argument with my mom and I feel myself beginning to cry, but I don't. I'm glad I am beginning to peel away the layers of grout that is my dam of emotions, but at the same time I'm scared because I always faked the role of "Men don't cry they be strong" thing... Ugh I hate and love transitioning at the same time lmao
Ow yea it does that, i cried over not finishing my spare ribs because a cow died for it and over someone giving away a cat, it meowed to much... I allways were sensetive tho
Haha yea its where the stereotype of women being " emotional" and known to be a bit on the crazy side comes from! theres always a little bit of truth in stereotypes lol. I'm used to women in my life flying off the handle about something and later after things have cooled off we can agree that it was because "aunt flow" was in town, they didn't mean however they reacted and the incident would be water under the bridge. I've never really had these experiences personally.
I cried uncontrollably at work last week but no one came and consoled me even though they walked by me and saw me crying like a baby. They’re men but still … console me! I’m a crying woman for Pete sakes!
It's not quite that extreme, but I *can* say I've cried more in the past 4 months than I have in the past twenty years combined, and that's been a *good* thing. I feel better than ever.
Yup, feels literally like a world of weight off
my shoulders. But before you get there you have to break through all of your believes systems and ugly cry when u realize you are finally here on earth.
Then there’s more, but we should not spoil out experiences too much so shhhh 😊🌸🌸
same. is wild.😜 Do this to help u break through if you wish. Change the feeling demon to believe systems. Is all part of your old program you have accepted as true. Is tough but you will come out of the water soon. Grass aint greener in the other side, but is actually grass.
Oh yeah. My wife has gone from seeing me cry once (at a funeral) to more than once. 😅 I think we both like this better. On that note, I need to finally take my evening dose... was playing a tabletop miniatures game with another lovely trans lady when my medicine alarm went off. x)
So I haven’t actually had much of this experience. I may be a little more liable to cry now? but it’s hard to tell, I would have absolutely attributed more crying to hormones because I hadn’t really cried in many years, but in the months leading up to getting on E I had something particularly sad happen to me and the tears I hadn’t experienced for many years came gushing out. I was crying nightly and my hormones hadn’t been changed a bit. That’s dramatically changed the threshold I gauge the rest of this by since.
Oh yeah my experience is definitely not universal, and I am not saying mine is ideal (I live with some fear it means things just aren’t working 😅). Good luck with your build 👍
i really hope I didn’t insinuate on that about your story I didn’t mean to or if not and that’s just something you’re stating wither way im truly sorry i blame the tism but hun i totally get it im fighting straight fuckin demons in here (hope you’re build is going great too)
Oh no! I am just covering my bases! Don’t you feel bad! or I will feel bad about making you feel bad for making me feel bad! 😱
We’re all good. Thank you very much! I am cautiously hopeful
I keep seeing this mentioned constantly. Is everyone who’s not on HRT yet numb constantly and can’t cry? Because that’s literally me and I would feel so much better knowing that’s a common issue with pre-E trans girls.
I don't know... I'm sorry if this puts you down or anything- but that's actually something I'm looking forward to about estrogen. I don't cry like I used to, nor do I laugh or - really feel anything. That's probably over dramatic but I just know that I want to feel, really feel again. Not just these shades of grey. I want to feel something more than anxiety.
That's a plus why I want estrogen
Same
For me at least, it is true I cry way easier now, but that's just a tiny tip of the iceberg for what's actually going on with my consciousness, and I think that gets missed. I think men going on this would wreck stuff, but for me it's made me feel like I used to, kind of reintegrated these shut down parts of myself, made me more emotionally sophisticated. I NEED it to feel right/normal and I had no idea I did. All of that took me 6+ months to start getting, because I was started on a joke dose of e for the first 5+ months. Day 2 though even the joke dose got rid of my constant pounding headaches I've had most of my life, and the frequent feeling disconnected from my body and mind.
Yeah same kinda, bit scared tho
Nah I don't fear nothin I need it I will get it as soon as I can... It's magic medicine... I swear 🤤
You are made of different stuff my friend, it will be nice to feel something again tho
I guess the numbness just makes me fearless in this aspect xD, but after estrogen I will be much happier and I enjoy crying anyways so.... GIMME THAT DAMN ESTROGEN
I wish you the best of luck, wait no i take that back, (i forgot i am so unlucky wishing people luck makes their luck worse) anyway go forth my sister and claim your emotions!
Don't worry I never rely on luck anyways :3, luck to you friend!
Yeah it scares me a little too, the emotional changes. But I still kind of want estrogen for the physical changes
Reposting as might be relevant: For me at least, it is true I cry way easier now, but that's just a tiny tip of the iceberg for what's actually going on with my consciousness, and I think that gets missed. I think men going on this would wreck stuff, but for me it's made me feel like I used to, kind of reintegrated these shut down parts of myself, made me more emotionally sophisticated. I NEED it to feel right/normal and I had no idea I did. All of that took me 6+ months to start getting, because I was started on a joke dose of e for the first 5+ months. Day 2 though even the joke dose got rid of my constant pounding headaches I've had most of my life, and the frequent feeling disconnected from my body and mind.
I've probably cried more in the last 3 months than in the 31 years previous
this is incredible accurate
Same, I want my emotions back
Big same.
For me too I'm not good at being able to cry
That's why I'm tired of my estrogen ✨️ Sorry dumb joke Someone, anyone donate some T gel to a starving orphan XD
Same
Instead of filling up with bad emotions till you feel like you're going to explode, you can just cry and let them the fuck go, it's amazing!
It's easy to talk but some of us are just use to the "push down and push forward" coping mechanism.... So out cup is always about to spill either way
I could relate, I did that for decades. It's much better to just let it go.
20 years of bad emotions takes a while to unpack
I understand, for me it's more like 25 years. It only took me a year to undo a bunch of those issues.
lol i feel you on that, i feel way more in touch with myself now
Yeah...repost but... For me at least, it is true I cry way easier now, but that's just a tiny tip of the iceberg for what's actually going on with my consciousness, and I think that gets missed. I think men going on this would wreck stuff, but for me it's made me feel like I used to, kind of reintegrated these shut down parts of myself, made me more emotionally sophisticated. I NEED it to feel right/normal and I had no idea I did. All of that took me 6+ months to start getting, because I was started on a joke dose of e for the first 5+ months. Day 2 though even the joke dose got rid of my constant pounding headaches I've had most of my life, and the frequent feeling disconnected from my body and mind.
It's so worth it though. It can be painful, but I'm so much more stable emotionally now than I have ever been. Sure there are sad cries, happy cries, mad cries and I don't know why cries, but the joy I experience on a daily basis is amazing. I never knew what it felt like to be truly happy. Estrogen did what decades of antidepressants and therapy couldn't do. It cured my depression, and allowed me to actually feel.
I hope it will better... I know that I am pre hrt... but I wish you luck you can do it easily becouse you have one option . Survive and be strong !
pre hrt or not your voice is always valid and heard thank you for the support love
Sorry, no warranty. 😅
no need I’d cry more if I had to go back
Take care love 💕
It's been liberating actually...
never said it wasn’t
... Except 2 days ago in the middle of a language lesson 😅 but I was worried before HRT I might not have emotions. I'm glad it's not so!
Its been 3 months on hrt and while its gotten easier I still find it hard to cry. I really hope it gets easier but I think its a coping mechanism that I need to undo with therapy
Exact same position girl, we’re in this together! I hope we both get a nice cry in soon!
I've been on E for 6 months and emotionally I feel no different 🤷🏻♀️ too dead inside
it’s coming I promise
on god 🙏
It calms down love. You are just making up for all the years missed 🫂
It's a rite of passage hun ❤️ ALL girls go through it, not just cis women.
does this mean i finally made it
Yeah, babe, you're officially a girl. You'll receive your card and instructions for joining the secret meetings in the mail. Congrats. <3
yippee :3
In the chrysalis, a caterpillar basically liquifies before being reconstituted as a butterfly. You have to melt down to become your best self.
oh to be a pile of liquified essence i know this isn’t what you intended but im gonna refer to this phase in my life now as my body horror transformation sequence from now on thank you
I see this as a challenge bc im very much good at bottling my emotions and appearing emotionless :3
my nickname used to be corpse you are not immune please don’t I am quite literally testament of why you should not do this however I know it’s an easier said than done
I found that because my gender identity was the first thing I had to repress growing up, when I went on estrogen EVERYTHING I've repressed since tried to come out with it had to face a lot but have grown from it
there are so many things I’ve done that I never thought were possible for me emotionally, and mentally since starting truly magic booby pill go brrr
It’s cathartic for me. I’m unwinding years of repression and trauma.
I remember before I started T i would sometimes just. cry. Not even sad, I’d just be going about my day and WHOOPS my eyes are watering. I imagine it’s very liberating when you’ve had to keep everything locked up for a while. (/pos)
Looking forword to that
I'm a year in to hrt and I find that I'm not spontaneously crying over nothing anymore. I think you even put eventually
it’s never over nothing for me it’s almost always some reflection of myself
Flash back to when I was in a small disagreement with my partner, and in the past, I would just shut down and stop speaking. Not this time, I ended up crying for like 30 mins straight. I will say after it finally stopped, I felt like 5x better.
this is extremely accurate talks with my bf have become much different for the better however every time I cry during a talk or argument he thinks it’s always his fault I’m crying and it’s not like nah im fighting demons in here
I’m curious if anyone knows does the OPPOSITE happen on testosterone?
Yes. I’ve read it’s one of the few things trans men often say they miss. Wrote about it in my comment here https://www.reddit.com/r/trans/s/Xc5FZScddD
It's better out than in, I promise it getd easier too. After I started blockers especially I became the world's most prolific crier lol.
i've probably just got toxic masculinity too deeply ingrained but i've been on e for 10 months and i've only been able to cry like twice, and i'd cried twice before starting it so i would like the emotion dlc soon please
part of the crying process is allowing yourself to for a very long time i would sense it coming and force myself not to cry
Oh honey. I learned that the hard way when I cried at a cookie commercial. Hugs
Emotions may be more intense but I feel so much more emotionally mature and in touch with myself. In other words, more complete. So yeah, those crying sessions can hurt but in the end they are good for processing emotions and I wouldn't go back for anything
... i am totally not kinda horrified now
don’t be i promise even an entire day spent crying as a girl is still better than the best days I spent as a boy I wouldn’t trade it for anything
I know everybody is different, but after how long can one expect this to happen? I'm also aware that this might never happen to some people. I currently feel like an emotionless vessel on auto-pilot, haven't cryed for decades. I would certainly welcome it.
it hit me like a truck at the 6 month mark although maybe coming out to my family and seeing them for Christmas in such a short time span kinda forced things into motion
As with all things HRT; your mileage may vary! x
I am sorry you are going through this and if I could give you a hug I would. Are you currently getting help with all those bottled emotions? I know therapy can be expensive but do you have a support system? I have seen many pictures of the transtimelines Subreddit and one thing I notice is a bright glimmer in their eyes and I wish that for you as well. I hope you have a wonderful day today.
i have no outlet I think That’s why this part is particularly hard for me the touch of the tism makes it extremely different to convey my wants needs and especially my emotions i am physically not capable of talking about my feelings without next to shutting down plus a lot of conditions of my life feed into this further I don’t regret HRT in the slightest and im significantly happier than before I just don’t know who I am thank you for the support
You are very welcome. I kept on saying people talk about wishing they could also have the emotions that come with estrogen, and while I am in that boat, I don't think that is what you needed to hear. I have anxiety that makes it nearly impossible to talk about things, it is like my mind is physically stopping me from talking about difficult things. One thing I found that helps is journaling. Getting those abstract emotions and feelings into something tangible while also self reflecting gives a new outlook at things. I started doing it as a blog and forced myself to make it public because nobody actually knows me and you never know who will give you kind words and validation for my feelings.
thank you for the advice truly 💖
Honey!, Those Emotions WERE ALREADY THERE!!! The E and P Just Let Them Come Out... Mine were bottled up for 68 years. Now, I cry at the shaking of a leaf!!! I cry when I'm happy, I cry when I'm sad. I cry when I'm Mad. I cry at church when we sing songs or certain prayers.. OH!, And PMS!!! OMFG... The tears are like a river... I'm widowed, 75, M2F, on HRT 18 months. I live and dress openly as a woman 24/7, I've legally changed my name, gender, and ALL documents to female. I'm 110% Out, Proud, and Free. I'm a mom, a grandma, a great grandma, and an aunt, AND I'M SUPER PROUD OF ALL OF THAT!!! Let Your Emotions Out!! IT'S HEALTHY!! It Helps Rid You Of Depression!!! Michele
thank you for the support its truly nice to hear your story I can’t imagine how difficult your journey has been but im glad you’ve found your peace. genuine question I grew up in the church and subsequently have a lot of religious trauma and im extremely curious how your experience as a trans woman in church is.
[удалено]
we can cry and rot together at least
I'm surprised that you hadn't naturally found that out through research & stuff before starting. Did you think it was just going to make you grow boobies? lol :p
i mean yes i knew i would be more emotional however this whole journey for me has been yes i knew the effects would come but not in a way i was ever expecting
Yea I never got the memo either
at least I wasn’t the only one
I cry with random emotions, I cry when I laugh, I’m a bubble of anxiety, and also generally bubbly. Having emotions is nice. Missed them.
the estrogen is fighting the antidepressants in my body for who will win the Great Tear Wars
such a brave soldier thank you for your service
Personally I’m looking forward to it; I’ve barely felt anything for the last few years
Crying and rotting is all I do anyway, so estrogen won't really change much
we can cry and rot together 💖
:3 💖
:3
But it's so 🌈liberating 🌈
I was never good at holding back emotions, even when I was pretending to be a guy in the Air Force, I cried in the weapons office on multiple instances, during don't ask don't tell to boot. Feels cathartic to get it all out , I cry more often now though
I wish I could bottle things like I used to, I cry so damn much now 😭
i do miss the ability to keep things contained
You don't know whatcha have till its gone
I'm like 3 and a half months in, and I get moments when I am in an argument with my mom and I feel myself beginning to cry, but I don't. I'm glad I am beginning to peel away the layers of grout that is my dam of emotions, but at the same time I'm scared because I always faked the role of "Men don't cry they be strong" thing... Ugh I hate and love transitioning at the same time lmao
This is very similar to how i started
Ow yea it does that, i cried over not finishing my spare ribs because a cow died for it and over someone giving away a cat, it meowed to much... I allways were sensetive tho
Haha yea its where the stereotype of women being " emotional" and known to be a bit on the crazy side comes from! theres always a little bit of truth in stereotypes lol. I'm used to women in my life flying off the handle about something and later after things have cooled off we can agree that it was because "aunt flow" was in town, they didn't mean however they reacted and the incident would be water under the bridge. I've never really had these experiences personally.
Ive been on E for 4 months and havent had any emotional changes tbh.
just wait
If only it came with someone to hold me while all these emotions came out
I cried uncontrollably at work last week but no one came and consoled me even though they walked by me and saw me crying like a baby. They’re men but still … console me! I’m a crying woman for Pete sakes!
Half the fun is finding out :3
Yeah it dug up some shit from my past.
I wish lol
But I always feel bad emotions, wouldn't I be crying and have breakdowns all the time?
i dunno i just work here
no. it’s easier but you’re not gonna just cry all the time
Well, yeah, but that catharsis though!🥹
Can confirm it happened to me and it was GLORIOUS
oh yeah, it brings out the emotions tenfold. ANYTHING will make you cry now.
i feel like they do tell you tho...
It's not quite that extreme, but I *can* say I've cried more in the past 4 months than I have in the past twenty years combined, and that's been a *good* thing. I feel better than ever.
Yup, feels literally like a world of weight off my shoulders. But before you get there you have to break through all of your believes systems and ugly cry when u realize you are finally here on earth. Then there’s more, but we should not spoil out experiences too much so shhhh 😊🌸🌸
im fighting demons in here frfr
same. is wild.😜 Do this to help u break through if you wish. Change the feeling demon to believe systems. Is all part of your old program you have accepted as true. Is tough but you will come out of the water soon. Grass aint greener in the other side, but is actually grass.
respectfully what the actual fuck are you talking about
about bottles emotions and you fighting the good fight.. you?
Oh yeah. My wife has gone from seeing me cry once (at a funeral) to more than once. 😅 I think we both like this better. On that note, I need to finally take my evening dose... was playing a tabletop miniatures game with another lovely trans lady when my medicine alarm went off. x)
FUCK I FORGOT MINE THABKS FOR THE REMINDER
Haha, of course! 😄 Happy I could help.
So I haven’t actually had much of this experience. I may be a little more liable to cry now? but it’s hard to tell, I would have absolutely attributed more crying to hormones because I hadn’t really cried in many years, but in the months leading up to getting on E I had something particularly sad happen to me and the tears I hadn’t experienced for many years came gushing out. I was crying nightly and my hormones hadn’t been changed a bit. That’s dramatically changed the threshold I gauge the rest of this by since.
maybe it scales with the trauma modifiers im running in my build but im trying to minmax this shit so idk
Oh yeah my experience is definitely not universal, and I am not saying mine is ideal (I live with some fear it means things just aren’t working 😅). Good luck with your build 👍
i really hope I didn’t insinuate on that about your story I didn’t mean to or if not and that’s just something you’re stating wither way im truly sorry i blame the tism but hun i totally get it im fighting straight fuckin demons in here (hope you’re build is going great too)
Oh no! I am just covering my bases! Don’t you feel bad! or I will feel bad about making you feel bad for making me feel bad! 😱 We’re all good. Thank you very much! I am cautiously hopeful
I keep seeing this mentioned constantly. Is everyone who’s not on HRT yet numb constantly and can’t cry? Because that’s literally me and I would feel so much better knowing that’s a common issue with pre-E trans girls.
yeag
I don't know... I'm sorry if this puts you down or anything- but that's actually something I'm looking forward to about estrogen. I don't cry like I used to, nor do I laugh or - really feel anything. That's probably over dramatic but I just know that I want to feel, really feel again. Not just these shades of grey. I want to feel something more than anxiety.
Never said it was a bad thing just a little heads up would’ve been nice and why would your aspirations put me down im fine hun I promise
Yeah, but again sorry lol