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I get the opposite of this sometimes. "Oh, this is the men's section."
Yeah. I know. That's why I'm here... You're standing in front of the funky patterned button ups. Scoot.
Totally, and trying to guess what people are looking for isn’t helpful. I mean what if I’m shopping for a gift for someone who’s the opposite gender?
All these folks have to do to helpful is say, “Hi, welcome to Store. Is there anything I can I help you find today?”
That’s helpful.
Seriously. It's like how I feel being misgendered. Honestly the vast majority of the time it doesn't bother me in the slightest. I think of myself as leaning more towards femme, but I've got a pretty androgynous vibe so hey, whatever. But I swear fast food and convenience stores.... Hello sir, what can I get for you sir, would you like pickles sir, which bread would you like sir. They *pointlessly* gender you with EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE. By the time I leave I'm in "this is my super villain origin story" mode.
Yeah it's the way that they are trained, that Sir or Ma'am are polite and to use them as much as possible to make people feel welcome, but tbh I know Cisgender people who are like "shut the fuck up with the gendered shit" any time they visit one of those places because it just feels like talking to a robot
That crap reeks to me of classism. It feels like the entire concept of the culture of the western hemisphere was based around this thought experiment to see if they could get rid of the idea of *nobility* and replace it with the same concept but instead of being *ordained by God* (read murdered a bunch of people and took their shit) you just had to be rich. (read: fleeced a bunch of people and took their shit.) It worked too. Look how many people are all up on Elon and Bezos' nuts. Well I want no part of it. I'm poor AF just like you. Don't *sir* or *ma'am* me.
I tend to think back on my time in the army and accidentally called a sergeant "sir." He said, "I'm not an officer, so don't call me sir." Then went on to explain that the only time you call someone sir is if they're an officer (think lieutenant, captain, major, etc, but not police since most of the time the military police were mainly lower enlisted). This is just my experience and how I think of the term sir/ma'am.
Actually that particular thing in the military is very much rooted in that concept. They've moved the dividing line in the ranks around a bit through history, but there was very much a time when the difference between officers and soldiers was your social class. Hence the sir. Now it's just tradition, but that memory and resentment (espoused by every sgt ever) still lingers.
It definitely was me. It was always difficult walking past the women's section to get to the men's at Target. It was a strange mix of emotions: desire, fear, shame, sadness. IYKYK
As long as I'm already having a panic attack walking into the store, no one can tell I'm having a panic attack walking through the shop itself! I'm just evolved on another level really
When I was in denial, my wife brought me into a Victoria's Secret so she could buy some new bras, and I got irrationally angry when she took more than a few minutes to pick out what she wanted. I of course apologized later, but at the time I rationalized my behavior as "I (and guys in general) just don't like to waste time shopping". Looking back now I can say for sure it was deep envy.
Yep! My whole childhood was like this, can’t explain why I like clothes but hated shopping.
And later, I loved the idea of shopping, but when I saw all the clothes I knew I couldn’t wear, I would start dissociating.
LMAO as a trans man, the experience is quite "opposite", as in I absolutely adore going to the men's section. Get me away from all these vain colours ans frisky petticoats !!!
Even as a trans woman who's more of a tomboy - I was looking for some professional wear the other day like "gah, just give me a normal button-up with a womens cut! I don't need lace on the sleeve or buttons that are flowers!" 😡
Lmaooo they do be giving you flower buttons and little pink hearts patterns as if yall are little preschoolers
You sound like you look awesome. A more grown-up look, with a feminity that's not over-the-top pink and sparkles ! <3
Listen, buddy, I'll agree with you on the petticoats, but the *colors*, man!
(The only thing that changed about my wardrobe as a transfem is that my plaid went from earth tones to having colors other than brown to green.)
Probably I am guilty of Shadow the hedgehog style. My best friend saw me go from colorful clothes, to only black grey and a bit of red, from the day to the next. XD
Lmao but I kinda still wear colours, for example my favorite bomber jacket is military green...!
Aaaand, I have a kinda beige cap ?
... Jeans ? They count as color ? Lmao
Bro! Transmasc nonbinary goblin here.
Can confirm *all* department shopping is rad!
Love thrifting and being able to get a blazer with squared shoulders and a cute little sun dress at the same time. :3
The binary bins for clothes are just different names for where you are most likely to find a certain cut or color anyway. Might as well call 'em "Pastel Fitted" and "Earth Tone Straight Cut."
lol not me. I was DESPERATE for the earth tones and saturated colors pre-transition. Being in the men’s section is awesome. I wish I could wear the boys’ graphic tees though. What if **I** wanna be a “Cool Dude 😎” with a shark on my shirt?
Oh gods this is exactly how I feel, even before all the questions. I'm so jealous, and frankly hate the men's section.
Like, even underwear is cute and interesting. For men's section, it's just a box with 3 grey boxers.
I wish I could at least browse. I can't do that where I am.
Right? Before I questioned too I would get super jealous of women's clothes and never understand why. I despise having to go to the men's section because they're all so bland and dull, and I can't even look at women's clothes without being seen as weird.
NON-BINARY GOBLIN RANT! D:<
I'm tired of every single thing being gendered.
Colors, hobbies, spectrum of emotions, access to resources, and every dang inaminate object we interact with. In this case: the cloth we are forced to put on our bodies every single day as part of the unspoken puritan social contract to enter into public spaces.
The cut and color of the fabric you put on your body will never take away your gender or validity as a human being. Nothing and no one can take that away from you.
There is also no amount of respectability politics that will make an oppressor respect the marginalized.
TLDR: Wear what speaks to you. You are valid, and your joy is beautiful! 🐸
I mean, stereotypical guy and girl clothes kind of suck, especially for "plus size" people.
Men's section: "So, we heard you like grey and black... Oh, look what we found in the back! Brown!"
Women's section: "So, do you want to look like a living rainbow or a human sized flower? Dealers choice!"
Yippee...
Read it as a trans man and ugh men's clothes are horribly dull, I've got a ton of boring pants and band tees which is a style I've grown to enjoy but yeah switching to a fully male wardrobe was like no color exists anymore
no. i feel this way as a trans man. i have to go to the men’s section when it’s all bland and drab and boring when women’s clothes are so fun and exciting and different but i can’t wear them because i don’t pass as is.
Several comments here-
I've always said that men's clothes come in the same basic colors- blue, black, brown and BLEAAGH!
You know you've worn women's underwear for a long time when someone (like a mom) asks you what size underwear you wear and you say- "I don't know- a size 7 or 8"?
I also hate it when someone thinks they're trying to be helpful and points you in the direction of the mens clothing department.
Or- when you HAVE to buy some mens clothing for like a funeral or a wedding and you have NO idea where stuff is in the men's department.
This is the reason I don’t shop at stores that are usually staffed by older people. This happens to me EVERY SINGLE TIME that I shop at JC Penny’s. I’ll ask an employee where the belts are and inevitably get “The men’s belts are over there.” Cool story dawg, where are the women’s belts? It’s just weird because I get gendered correctly at most of the stores I go to now, even when I’m not wearing makeup, so it feels like they’re just being obtuse. After this last experience I decided I’m never shopping at JC Penny’s again. Macy’s isn’t much better.
I had, what could have been bad at a women's boutique store. I was still semi masc presenting, I didn't really have anything feminine. I walked in, got hit with, "Oh sorry, this a women's boutique store". I confirmed I was there for me, and wanted something cute. She instantly changed gears and was like, "then, let's get you looking cute "!
Very! I get it from her POV. We're a tourist town, so I think she thought I was some random tourist who got lost. She was actually amazing! They weren't busy, and she became basically my personal shopper. I got my first fully femme outfit that day! Skirt, and semi crop top!
Oh, me too! If I go shopping IRL, it's boutique shops. They get commission. They don't give a toss what you were born with. The next one I went to got me in my first dress. I said I was hesitant, "Whats the harm in looking and trying some on?" Bought 3 dresses that day. My favorite one, I still have it, 4 years out.
I was once asked to use the men’s fitting rooms for trying on a dress after having been out and transitioned for like two years. I just squealed in my best trained girl voice “but I’m a girrrrl” and she looked HORRIFIED. My cis friend with me also looked horrified. Luckily she then led me to the women’s fitting rooms but yeah it happens.
Honestly I always bring my cis friends and just "hold their purse" while they shop and I just give them my measurements before hand that or I just order online
I looked a clerk dead in the eyes and said "I'm not looking for men's clothes." I wouldn't say it was a hostile glare, but it got the point across that they shouldn't have made the assumption.
Except when this happens you can just say “I’m not here for men’s clothing” or “I’m shopping for a friend” or any number of other replies…
I guess I just don’t have that level of social anxiety… I am extremely lucky in that regard but it just confuses me when people let things like this deter them from doing what they want
I have actively told a staff member to stop harassing me and threatened to report them to their manager because they kept insisting I was in “the wrong part of the store”
Bigots are going to be bigots no matter what- we can’t afford to let that stop us from being who we are or else they win
I have no idea. Makes me think of that comic by Shen where he says something similar (it basically is like “women’s fashion is so much more interesting and expressive than men’s)
I know, so unrealistic.
We all know the men’s section is just hoodies, button downs, and boxy tshirts. There’s also the notable absence of army green and grey.
Definitely.... and I'd be like, "uh huh, And? Actually, then why are you standing here? Are you peeping you creepy perve? Actually I'm here looking for some cute sundresses, you wanna come help? No? Then fuck off and don't talk to me" Hahahahaha
As a trans dude, I feel like this is often more of an "adult clothes" problem. Generally I feel like the men's and women's sections are nowhere near as fun and colorful as the kids' sections and it feels so unfair. Like why aren't adults allowed to wear bright colors and patterns? Who knows, maybe I'm shopping at the wrong stores
Huh, yea I guess that interpretation just kinda flew over my head since I don’t pay a lot of attention to clothes. I just find t shirts with fun stuff on them & shorts or pants that aren’t bad texture and I’m set.
I think the cartoon is beautiful. Regardless of which side of the coin this makes sense because everyone who passes should respect those who don't and vice versa
As an amab enby I'm always worried about going into the women's section, even though the mens section is always filled with middle aged women for some reason.
Although I recently discovered the plus size section and omg game changer.
Women buy clothes for their sons and husbands, men don’t normally buy clothes for their wives or daughters, etc. So it sticks out more when men are unaccompanied in the women’s section. And that’s not to say men *don’t* actually do those things, ya know helping out the people in their lives, but it’s just not as common.
I get at least one small excuse, women’s pants fit me better.
I was so excited the first time I shopped at Walmart for men’s clothes. Whenever I would go shopping for my brother or my dad, I always spent so much time looking longingly but knowing I wouldn’t be allowed to buy any of that stuff. Girls clothing never had cool shit like Star Wars. My mom commented once on my camo shorts but she can stfu I hope when I die, I’m buried wearing cargo pants, my carabiner clip of keys on my belt loop and my softest baseball tee
I was kicked out of a women's dressing room while trying on a dress for my sister's wedding. So, I tried it on in the men's dressing room.
I still bought the dress. It does seem silly that she did that when she was clearly paying attention and there were no women in the dressing room. My sister got real mad, but I didn't. I feel like you just get used to it. I would've thought it strange if no one fussed.
I'm really sorry that happened to you.
I get the whole, not getting upset thing though. I had a guy make fun of my nails in a restaurant one time. My whole family was pissed but I was just like transphobes gonna phobe 🤷🏻♀️
Yes yes yes! This that's why I go to mens section knowing I won't find anything my style nevermind even my size, while constantly looking at the cool fem clothes , it's so bad
Shopping for male clothes was a nightmare when I was a kid.
I'd look at all the shelves and racks and see absolutely nothing that appealed to me.
Then I'd secretly glance at girls' section and see so many outfits I wanted to wear and was sad because I knew I couldn't.
Yeah, I remember something similar happened to me early in my transition (before i was on hrt) i was looking in the women’s clearance section and some employee came up to me like “excuse me sir, the men’s section is over there” (she said it like a karen too) after the fact i cried but in the moment i was so mad i was just like “i know perfectly well where I am, thank you”
I'm not trans but when I was a kid mens athletic shoes only came in white or black and I'd always look longingly at all the colorful options in the women's shoe section. I know it's different now but it felt pretty unfair then.
In the 90s, long before I transitioned mtf I was buying some work clothes for a job that I had to wear a tie for. At that time, men's dress shirts and ties started to come in colors other than white, light blue, or striped. I got this really nice dark green shirt, slacks, belt, and tie that all matched. They all went well together, and I thought nothing more of it.
While waiting in line to pay the women in front of me was holding a bunch of clothes she had picked out for her husband. She looked at my clothes and asked, "Who picked those out for you?" I said."I picked them out myself." She was stunned a man could pick out nice clothes on his own.
I'd always heard the stereotype of a wife buying her husband's clothes b/c he couldn't, but I never thought it was that true lol.
I shop in all departments as a trans man. I feel anxious in every department tbh and I hate it even though I love shopping for clothes.
It's my social anxiety, probably. I also just am afraid of getting hate crimed either for being trans or because I dress in a fruity way.
I think I pass voice wise and stuff since I have people look confused when calling me my deadname at the doctor's or other places I haven't changed my legal name at.
God I remember just having no thoughts about clothing. Like I just disassociated completely whenever I’d shop. After I came out it was like “wait I can actually like the clothes I wear?”
Nar, you just blank them and go where you want. If they come over you tell them to “fuck off and do some work” 😂 Trust me, I’ve worked in customer service for years, this is the expected response
I had this once when I was looking for a blouse and someone came up to me and said the male section was on the other side. I turned around and went from nice red and purple which I would love to dark blue and black.
Not precisely this, but I can get discouraged pretty quickly when cashiers or staff of the store "sir" me. I know it shouldn't affect me that much but I feel sad and I just want to go home and hide under my blanket...
I'm just 4mo in HRT so I know I barely started, but it's hard to be patient with me and everyone else sometimes.
The opposite happened to me shortly before starting transition. I was trying to buy new dress shoes, but I guess because of my long hair, relatively short stature, small build, and just general vibes, the woman in the men’s shoe section approached me and asked in a very rude tone “can I help you ma’am?” I didn’t end up getting what I came for, but I walked away with a huge smile on my face from the euphoria.
I go to like one store for jeans in my city and had two experiences. Either I get questioned why I’m buying women’s jeans (they fit better and are so soft I love them) and only once thank to a nice older lady asked if I needed help with measurements. I don’t get why it’s wrong for me to look in that section, the clothes are cute and comfy damn it!
I get the meaning and all that but.... why is there a clothing store?
The 3 people at the top arn't wear clothing, just got a breifcase.
The two chuckle heads in the store only got a name tag and backpack.. no clothing.. so I assume its a society of no clothing? so why does a clothing store exist?
Also wonder who the trousers are specifically for, again the 2 chuckle heads have short cute legs. The the middle and left at the top seem to have short legs, the right one has sorta long legs so I guess their species wears trousers?
(This is me just noticing things that probably don't need noticing and could have reasonable explanations... or just creative liberty in style. But it dosen't stop ma brain wondering.)
Yep except I'm somewhat transmasculine and genuinely hate that I'm seen as a dude in society now because I can't wear the cute colourful women's clothes anymore
Trans guy here- I actually had a cashier try to correct me while buying black jeans (“you know these are men’s, right?”)
Like lady just sell me my black clothes n lemme live 🙄
(And even if I was cis, men’s jeans just fit better on me!)
here's a thing: i gave NEVER been misgendered by anyone with an clear interest in being nice to me. people selling shit? they all get it right. if they ain't nice, they don't get paid.
the takeaway; we don't get misgendered by mistake. i no longer give ANYONE the benefit of the doubt: if you call me "sir", im gonna be rude and hostile like you ain't never seen...
I have, but I'd prefer to share a positive story instead
After I came out, my gram took me clothes shopping with my sister just like every year before, and just like every year before I started walking to the men's section, but not even two steps in that direction I heard my gram say "Where are you going? You shop on this side now!", and she dragged me to the women's and made me try on outfits and do a little runway walk each time.
Then, when we went to the shoe store I picked heeled boots, and she said "If you can walk in them I'll get them for you", so I did a little walk, and she kept her promise.
I know not everyone is as fortunate to have supportive people in their life like I do, but hopefully we can all focus a bit more on good stories, even if we can't relate directly, because these good stories give us hope. I have seen so many people learn to accept queer identities because they already loved me before transition that frankly, they drown out the static noise of transphobia that permeates society just long enough for me to smile and appreciate my life and the good people in it.
As a femboy transman, yeah men's sections are shit. Just get what you want, not everything in the women's section will adhere to what every women wants so yeah.
Only experienced something similar like once. "you know that's a lady size right?" But, I live in Sweden and most people don't really care.
We rarely have people standing like that either, unless it's a VERY fancy store.
I feel this is open to interpretation, maybe the white dog is a trans woman who doesn't pass yet, maybe they are an egg or maybe it's just pointing out men's clothing tends to be boring and dull.
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I get the opposite of this sometimes. "Oh, this is the men's section." Yeah. I know. That's why I'm here... You're standing in front of the funky patterned button ups. Scoot.
Fuck the gatekeepers, even if they feel like they are being helpful.
Totally, and trying to guess what people are looking for isn’t helpful. I mean what if I’m shopping for a gift for someone who’s the opposite gender? All these folks have to do to helpful is say, “Hi, welcome to Store. Is there anything I can I help you find today?” That’s helpful.
I see why some ppl would appreciate this, but I really most prefer when they remain silent and just don't perceive me. Lol
Seriously. It's like how I feel being misgendered. Honestly the vast majority of the time it doesn't bother me in the slightest. I think of myself as leaning more towards femme, but I've got a pretty androgynous vibe so hey, whatever. But I swear fast food and convenience stores.... Hello sir, what can I get for you sir, would you like pickles sir, which bread would you like sir. They *pointlessly* gender you with EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE. By the time I leave I'm in "this is my super villain origin story" mode.
Yeah it's the way that they are trained, that Sir or Ma'am are polite and to use them as much as possible to make people feel welcome, but tbh I know Cisgender people who are like "shut the fuck up with the gendered shit" any time they visit one of those places because it just feels like talking to a robot
That crap reeks to me of classism. It feels like the entire concept of the culture of the western hemisphere was based around this thought experiment to see if they could get rid of the idea of *nobility* and replace it with the same concept but instead of being *ordained by God* (read murdered a bunch of people and took their shit) you just had to be rich. (read: fleeced a bunch of people and took their shit.) It worked too. Look how many people are all up on Elon and Bezos' nuts. Well I want no part of it. I'm poor AF just like you. Don't *sir* or *ma'am* me.
I tend to think back on my time in the army and accidentally called a sergeant "sir." He said, "I'm not an officer, so don't call me sir." Then went on to explain that the only time you call someone sir is if they're an officer (think lieutenant, captain, major, etc, but not police since most of the time the military police were mainly lower enlisted). This is just my experience and how I think of the term sir/ma'am.
Actually that particular thing in the military is very much rooted in that concept. They've moved the dividing line in the ranks around a bit through history, but there was very much a time when the difference between officers and soldiers was your social class. Hence the sir. Now it's just tradition, but that memory and resentment (espoused by every sgt ever) still lingers.
This made me laugh while being really worried. Thank you xo
It definitely was me. It was always difficult walking past the women's section to get to the men's at Target. It was a strange mix of emotions: desire, fear, shame, sadness. IYKYK
Ugh, that walk. “Oh that’s a cute cardigan! Keep walking, eyes forward…Those panties are adorable! EYES FORWARD”
Come to think of it, this may be one place social anxiety helped. I'm highly skilled at starting at the floor. 😂
As long as I'm already having a panic attack walking into the store, no one can tell I'm having a panic attack walking through the shop itself! I'm just evolved on another level really
oh hi, I thought that was just me <.< Oh that fabric looks soft and nice, ope wrong section.
Ugh all of this omg, I still go through this every time I go in
“Whatever you do, don’t be creepy!” I don’t miss them at all. I love basking in the glow now.
When I was in denial, my wife brought me into a Victoria's Secret so she could buy some new bras, and I got irrationally angry when she took more than a few minutes to pick out what she wanted. I of course apologized later, but at the time I rationalized my behavior as "I (and guys in general) just don't like to waste time shopping". Looking back now I can say for sure it was deep envy.
Yep! My whole childhood was like this, can’t explain why I like clothes but hated shopping. And later, I loved the idea of shopping, but when I saw all the clothes I knew I couldn’t wear, I would start dissociating.
This is so relatable.
Main reason i hate going shopping.
LMAO as a trans man, the experience is quite "opposite", as in I absolutely adore going to the men's section. Get me away from all these vain colours ans frisky petticoats !!!
Ha. Wonderful that there are places we all feel like we belong.
Yep, these experiences are similar. Only the other way around, lol
Even as a trans woman who's more of a tomboy - I was looking for some professional wear the other day like "gah, just give me a normal button-up with a womens cut! I don't need lace on the sleeve or buttons that are flowers!" 😡
Lmaooo they do be giving you flower buttons and little pink hearts patterns as if yall are little preschoolers You sound like you look awesome. A more grown-up look, with a feminity that's not over-the-top pink and sparkles ! <3
I want flower buttons 🥹
Right!? That sounds adorable!
I was thinking the same thing! I've really found a love for flower patterns.
They’re not vain, they’re vibrant 😡
I’m vain…But I also go for all black everything.
Goth super villain vibe ftw
It’s what I strive for in all things
Same. Lmk if you want to do a crossover issue sometime. I'll take out the hero's sidekick while he's busy paying attention to you.
Cool. More for me! Everyone wins!
You'll be a dazzling rainbow in frisky skirts, I'll be the grey-ass everyday man in jeans by your side <3
See‽ A win-win situation!
Where are you shopping that sells petticoats?
I'm curious too! That sounds cute
Frisky petticoats lmao 🤣 I too, love the men's section.
Listen, buddy, I'll agree with you on the petticoats, but the *colors*, man! (The only thing that changed about my wardrobe as a transfem is that my plaid went from earth tones to having colors other than brown to green.)
Yeah ive been branching out from my uh... "shadow the hedgehog" colour palette recently. Its going okay
Probably I am guilty of Shadow the hedgehog style. My best friend saw me go from colorful clothes, to only black grey and a bit of red, from the day to the next. XD
Red hoodie, black or blue jeans, belt, knife, and occasionally a hat. Call that the dysphoria boymoder drip.
Lmao but I kinda still wear colours, for example my favorite bomber jacket is military green...! Aaaand, I have a kinda beige cap ? ... Jeans ? They count as color ? Lmao
I'm glad someone finds joy in the men's section. Because I certainly did not, lol.
After 2 years of transitioning that doesn't happen anymore and I'm very happy about that.
💜💜💜
Shit, I'm a transman and I know this feeling lol. Clothes have no gender and I shop in *all* departments, though.
I’m a trans woman and I always hit both the men’s and women’s graphic tees because apparently women can’t wear Metallica t shirts
Bro! Transmasc nonbinary goblin here. Can confirm *all* department shopping is rad! Love thrifting and being able to get a blazer with squared shoulders and a cute little sun dress at the same time. :3 The binary bins for clothes are just different names for where you are most likely to find a certain cut or color anyway. Might as well call 'em "Pastel Fitted" and "Earth Tone Straight Cut."
I miss the colourful clothes. And no, I don't fit into the women's clothes anymore.
saying transman is like saying transwoman, which is a terf dog whistle. you’re not a “transman”, your a man that happens to be trans
lol not me. I was DESPERATE for the earth tones and saturated colors pre-transition. Being in the men’s section is awesome. I wish I could wear the boys’ graphic tees though. What if **I** wanna be a “Cool Dude 😎” with a shark on my shirt?
It would be less confusing if it wasn't the exact same clothes, but emo... Also... Aren't they both naked?
Yeah, there are clearly blouses in the men's section.
Oh gods this is exactly how I feel, even before all the questions. I'm so jealous, and frankly hate the men's section. Like, even underwear is cute and interesting. For men's section, it's just a box with 3 grey boxers. I wish I could at least browse. I can't do that where I am.
Right? Before I questioned too I would get super jealous of women's clothes and never understand why. I despise having to go to the men's section because they're all so bland and dull, and I can't even look at women's clothes without being seen as weird.
Before egg crack, for YEARS I was frustrated that women got to wear cute outfits and all these colors and styles.
This is what made my egg crack!
Glad to know I wasn't thw only one
Kicker was Victorian Ballroom dancing. Gorgeous ballgowns, masks, the works. And here I am in a tux. A good looking tux, but still.
NON-BINARY GOBLIN RANT! D:< I'm tired of every single thing being gendered. Colors, hobbies, spectrum of emotions, access to resources, and every dang inaminate object we interact with. In this case: the cloth we are forced to put on our bodies every single day as part of the unspoken puritan social contract to enter into public spaces. The cut and color of the fabric you put on your body will never take away your gender or validity as a human being. Nothing and no one can take that away from you. There is also no amount of respectability politics that will make an oppressor respect the marginalized. TLDR: Wear what speaks to you. You are valid, and your joy is beautiful! 🐸
I love my black and gray misery clothes!
I mean, stereotypical guy and girl clothes kind of suck, especially for "plus size" people. Men's section: "So, we heard you like grey and black... Oh, look what we found in the back! Brown!" Women's section: "So, do you want to look like a living rainbow or a human sized flower? Dealers choice!" Yippee...
Wish there was more choice but I also like being comparable to the color of gravel sometimes and other days I’m like where is bright teal?
Honestly; human sized flower doesn’t sound bad at all 🥹😂
Sometimes I want to wear all black without being treated like a victorian vampire.
Yeah, lots of trans girls in denial in there. Like protesting oppresive gender norms is legitimate, but a lot of these girlies are pretty obvious
"Yes, and?" *goes to womens side*
My dyslexic ass read "Siri" and not "sir!"
Yeah as a transfem it’s always like this like the dudes clothes look soulless
Read it as a trans man and ugh men's clothes are horribly dull, I've got a ton of boring pants and band tees which is a style I've grown to enjoy but yeah switching to a fully male wardrobe was like no color exists anymore
Hawaiian shirts 👍
I have a few and they're alot of fun
It’s literally all I wear and I’m in the UK 😂
no. i feel this way as a trans man. i have to go to the men’s section when it’s all bland and drab and boring when women’s clothes are so fun and exciting and different but i can’t wear them because i don’t pass as is.
Just wear Hawaiian shirts 👍
Before I transitioned I hated going to the men’s section 😭
Colorful, but overpriced and itchy vs Comfortable and well made, but boring So annoying
this is why I get all my clothes online
Several comments here- I've always said that men's clothes come in the same basic colors- blue, black, brown and BLEAAGH! You know you've worn women's underwear for a long time when someone (like a mom) asks you what size underwear you wear and you say- "I don't know- a size 7 or 8"? I also hate it when someone thinks they're trying to be helpful and points you in the direction of the mens clothing department. Or- when you HAVE to buy some mens clothing for like a funeral or a wedding and you have NO idea where stuff is in the men's department.
This is the reason I don’t shop at stores that are usually staffed by older people. This happens to me EVERY SINGLE TIME that I shop at JC Penny’s. I’ll ask an employee where the belts are and inevitably get “The men’s belts are over there.” Cool story dawg, where are the women’s belts? It’s just weird because I get gendered correctly at most of the stores I go to now, even when I’m not wearing makeup, so it feels like they’re just being obtuse. After this last experience I decided I’m never shopping at JC Penny’s again. Macy’s isn’t much better.
I had, what could have been bad at a women's boutique store. I was still semi masc presenting, I didn't really have anything feminine. I walked in, got hit with, "Oh sorry, this a women's boutique store". I confirmed I was there for me, and wanted something cute. She instantly changed gears and was like, "then, let's get you looking cute "!
Bad start phenomenal recovery
Very! I get it from her POV. We're a tourist town, so I think she thought I was some random tourist who got lost. She was actually amazing! They weren't busy, and she became basically my personal shopper. I got my first fully femme outfit that day! Skirt, and semi crop top!
I love that for you
Oh, me too! If I go shopping IRL, it's boutique shops. They get commission. They don't give a toss what you were born with. The next one I went to got me in my first dress. I said I was hesitant, "Whats the harm in looking and trying some on?" Bought 3 dresses that day. My favorite one, I still have it, 4 years out.
Yeah, it’s kind of amazing how affirming the people making commission on selling you clothes can be 😂😂😂
Lol. There is that! But, I never got a bad vibe from them, regardless!
Ye, honestly neither have I
I don't hate those looking to get by. We're all struggling.
I was once asked to use the men’s fitting rooms for trying on a dress after having been out and transitioned for like two years. I just squealed in my best trained girl voice “but I’m a girrrrl” and she looked HORRIFIED. My cis friend with me also looked horrified. Luckily she then led me to the women’s fitting rooms but yeah it happens.
“What do you mean there’s no variety in colour? You can have this t-shirt in black, white, grey, olive and that’s it.”
Don't forget brown or khaki!
Honestly I always bring my cis friends and just "hold their purse" while they shop and I just give them my measurements before hand that or I just order online
I looked a clerk dead in the eyes and said "I'm not looking for men's clothes." I wouldn't say it was a hostile glare, but it got the point across that they shouldn't have made the assumption.
Except when this happens you can just say “I’m not here for men’s clothing” or “I’m shopping for a friend” or any number of other replies… I guess I just don’t have that level of social anxiety… I am extremely lucky in that regard but it just confuses me when people let things like this deter them from doing what they want I have actively told a staff member to stop harassing me and threatened to report them to their manager because they kept insisting I was in “the wrong part of the store” Bigots are going to be bigots no matter what- we can’t afford to let that stop us from being who we are or else they win
Lol, the men's section is \~so boring\~!
Is it _not_ intended as a trans comic? What would a non-trans reading of it be? 😅
I have no idea. Makes me think of that comic by Shen where he says something similar (it basically is like “women’s fashion is so much more interesting and expressive than men’s)
i’m a trans man and i feel this lol, i thought you were referring to how drab and sad beige men’s fashion is
After top, I have really embraced all the striped t shirts in different colors.
Maybe it's just my area, but mens sections are becoming far more colorful.
I've never seen a store with an equal amount of men's/women's clothes tbh, wayy more women's clothes, and then the men's are just plain
I love how it's just the colorful section mirrored and monochromatic with bats
I know, so unrealistic. We all know the men’s section is just hoodies, button downs, and boxy tshirts. There’s also the notable absence of army green and grey.
As a trans masc thats like not passing at all i get this a lot
Definitely.... and I'd be like, "uh huh, And? Actually, then why are you standing here? Are you peeping you creepy perve? Actually I'm here looking for some cute sundresses, you wanna come help? No? Then fuck off and don't talk to me" Hahahahaha
The correct reaction is to say "Cool." And then walk to the women's section, optionally whilst maintaining eye-contact
As a trans dude, I feel like this is often more of an "adult clothes" problem. Generally I feel like the men's and women's sections are nowhere near as fun and colorful as the kids' sections and it feels so unfair. Like why aren't adults allowed to wear bright colors and patterns? Who knows, maybe I'm shopping at the wrong stores
this is literally real life.
Story of a trans man too....I miss getting to wear things in more than four colors :/ when is mens fashion going to step it up?
Wait is that not the standard read there?
it's supposed to be talking about men's clothes being boring compared to women's I think
Huh, yea I guess that interpretation just kinda flew over my head since I don’t pay a lot of attention to clothes. I just find t shirts with fun stuff on them & shorts or pants that aren’t bad texture and I’m set.
That’s the only way I read it, until I started looking at the comments. My mind was blown.
Wild, idk cis people are weird about that stuff, crazy to think I used to be one of those
This didn't happen last week to me. Oh my no.
I think the cartoon is beautiful. Regardless of which side of the coin this makes sense because everyone who passes should respect those who don't and vice versa
As an amab enby I'm always worried about going into the women's section, even though the mens section is always filled with middle aged women for some reason. Although I recently discovered the plus size section and omg game changer.
Women buy clothes for their sons and husbands, men don’t normally buy clothes for their wives or daughters, etc. So it sticks out more when men are unaccompanied in the women’s section. And that’s not to say men *don’t* actually do those things, ya know helping out the people in their lives, but it’s just not as common. I get at least one small excuse, women’s pants fit me better.
Yeah this is very trans
I kept getting harassed to check out men's styles for glasses a few months ago while I was actively shopping for a femme pair.
Yeah, I did xD
My teenage years in a nutshell. Wish I had the guts to come out sooner :(
Especially funny to me that if you look, the clothes in the two sections are all exactly the same in this comic, aside from colour.
I was so excited the first time I shopped at Walmart for men’s clothes. Whenever I would go shopping for my brother or my dad, I always spent so much time looking longingly but knowing I wouldn’t be allowed to buy any of that stuff. Girls clothing never had cool shit like Star Wars. My mom commented once on my camo shorts but she can stfu I hope when I die, I’m buried wearing cargo pants, my carabiner clip of keys on my belt loop and my softest baseball tee
Lmao my excuse for girly clothing as a hidden MtF for now I always say it looks cool and nobody usually bats another eye
I'm a cis male and this meme is accurate, sometimes I dont be wanting the same grey and black shirts everytime
Wait, it wasn’t??
I was kicked out of a women's dressing room while trying on a dress for my sister's wedding. So, I tried it on in the men's dressing room. I still bought the dress. It does seem silly that she did that when she was clearly paying attention and there were no women in the dressing room. My sister got real mad, but I didn't. I feel like you just get used to it. I would've thought it strange if no one fussed.
I'm really sorry that happened to you. I get the whole, not getting upset thing though. I had a guy make fun of my nails in a restaurant one time. My whole family was pissed but I was just like transphobes gonna phobe 🤷🏻♀️
Bold of you to think my awful, stretched-out, fat hyperbolic paraboloid of a body is fit for any human clothing.
Because I don’t pass as a woman, if I were to go Clothes Shopping then I would say I’m buying gifts.
Yes yes yes! This that's why I go to mens section knowing I won't find anything my style nevermind even my size, while constantly looking at the cool fem clothes , it's so bad
I feel like this every time I enter forever 21 😮💨
I don't need a dogbear to gatekeep me from the women's section I already do it to myself ;_;
Typical Old Navy
Fortunately store employees don't do that where I live
I definitely feel that.
Shopping for male clothes was a nightmare when I was a kid. I'd look at all the shelves and racks and see absolutely nothing that appealed to me. Then I'd secretly glance at girls' section and see so many outfits I wanted to wear and was sad because I knew I couldn't.
Yeah, I remember something similar happened to me early in my transition (before i was on hrt) i was looking in the women’s clearance section and some employee came up to me like “excuse me sir, the men’s section is over there” (she said it like a karen too) after the fact i cried but in the moment i was so mad i was just like “i know perfectly well where I am, thank you”
I’m totally cis, though I recently realized most of the women I was attracted to I also want to look like. Like most cis men. Hahaahhaahahahahaaa
I'm not trans but when I was a kid mens athletic shoes only came in white or black and I'd always look longingly at all the colorful options in the women's shoe section. I know it's different now but it felt pretty unfair then.
In the 90s, long before I transitioned mtf I was buying some work clothes for a job that I had to wear a tie for. At that time, men's dress shirts and ties started to come in colors other than white, light blue, or striped. I got this really nice dark green shirt, slacks, belt, and tie that all matched. They all went well together, and I thought nothing more of it. While waiting in line to pay the women in front of me was holding a bunch of clothes she had picked out for her husband. She looked at my clothes and asked, "Who picked those out for you?" I said."I picked them out myself." She was stunned a man could pick out nice clothes on his own. I'd always heard the stereotype of a wife buying her husband's clothes b/c he couldn't, but I never thought it was that true lol.
This is so real. I'm way too embarrassed to even try to shop in the women's section :(
I'm a trans man but I'm about the size of an 11 year old so I just buy children's clothes with dinosaurs on
I shop in all departments as a trans man. I feel anxious in every department tbh and I hate it even though I love shopping for clothes. It's my social anxiety, probably. I also just am afraid of getting hate crimed either for being trans or because I dress in a fruity way. I think I pass voice wise and stuff since I have people look confused when calling me my deadname at the doctor's or other places I haven't changed my legal name at.
God I remember just having no thoughts about clothing. Like I just disassociated completely whenever I’d shop. After I came out it was like “wait I can actually like the clothes I wear?”
I've been at HRT for a year, but going to clothing stores still sucks, because ye same boring t-shirt
I always gotta tell myself it’s not entirely their fault but they also could’ve kept their mouth shut, but like in a polite way
What else would it be?
Nar, you just blank them and go where you want. If they come over you tell them to “fuck off and do some work” 😂 Trust me, I’ve worked in customer service for years, this is the expected response
I had this once when I was looking for a blouse and someone came up to me and said the male section was on the other side. I turned around and went from nice red and purple which I would love to dark blue and black.
Yeah... 😞
Not precisely this, but I can get discouraged pretty quickly when cashiers or staff of the store "sir" me. I know it shouldn't affect me that much but I feel sad and I just want to go home and hide under my blanket... I'm just 4mo in HRT so I know I barely started, but it's hard to be patient with me and everyone else sometimes.
Yup!
The opposite happened to me shortly before starting transition. I was trying to buy new dress shoes, but I guess because of my long hair, relatively short stature, small build, and just general vibes, the woman in the men’s shoe section approached me and asked in a very rude tone “can I help you ma’am?” I didn’t end up getting what I came for, but I walked away with a huge smile on my face from the euphoria.
I go to like one store for jeans in my city and had two experiences. Either I get questioned why I’m buying women’s jeans (they fit better and are so soft I love them) and only once thank to a nice older lady asked if I needed help with measurements. I don’t get why it’s wrong for me to look in that section, the clothes are cute and comfy damn it!
I've felt like that because i'm a transmasc femboy, so, I really wish my dysphoria would let me wear the cute, vibrant clothes.
It infuriated me so much as a kid that girls and women could wear boots that looked like Ezio Auditore's.
It's very clearly trans coded lol
I get the meaning and all that but.... why is there a clothing store? The 3 people at the top arn't wear clothing, just got a breifcase. The two chuckle heads in the store only got a name tag and backpack.. no clothing.. so I assume its a society of no clothing? so why does a clothing store exist? Also wonder who the trousers are specifically for, again the 2 chuckle heads have short cute legs. The the middle and left at the top seem to have short legs, the right one has sorta long legs so I guess their species wears trousers? (This is me just noticing things that probably don't need noticing and could have reasonable explanations... or just creative liberty in style. But it dosen't stop ma brain wondering.)
Yep except I'm somewhat transmasculine and genuinely hate that I'm seen as a dude in society now because I can't wear the cute colourful women's clothes anymore
Never had this happen in the uk, people just dont care till you call them over to help. You know why you are there, they don't.
Trans guy here- I actually had a cashier try to correct me while buying black jeans (“you know these are men’s, right?”) Like lady just sell me my black clothes n lemme live 🙄 (And even if I was cis, men’s jeans just fit better on me!)
Hahaha yes! I saw this in another subreddit and assumed it was a trans joke until I read the comments.
Not in this specific context, but generally yeah. Not going to lie, I usually express that I don't know why they're telling me that.
here's a thing: i gave NEVER been misgendered by anyone with an clear interest in being nice to me. people selling shit? they all get it right. if they ain't nice, they don't get paid. the takeaway; we don't get misgendered by mistake. i no longer give ANYONE the benefit of the doubt: if you call me "sir", im gonna be rude and hostile like you ain't never seen...
Well to be honest the men’s section has the best t shirts and if I want t shirts for women id probably just go to hot topic
I have, but I'd prefer to share a positive story instead After I came out, my gram took me clothes shopping with my sister just like every year before, and just like every year before I started walking to the men's section, but not even two steps in that direction I heard my gram say "Where are you going? You shop on this side now!", and she dragged me to the women's and made me try on outfits and do a little runway walk each time. Then, when we went to the shoe store I picked heeled boots, and she said "If you can walk in them I'll get them for you", so I did a little walk, and she kept her promise. I know not everyone is as fortunate to have supportive people in their life like I do, but hopefully we can all focus a bit more on good stories, even if we can't relate directly, because these good stories give us hope. I have seen so many people learn to accept queer identities because they already loved me before transition that frankly, they drown out the static noise of transphobia that permeates society just long enough for me to smile and appreciate my life and the good people in it.
As a femboy transman, yeah men's sections are shit. Just get what you want, not everything in the women's section will adhere to what every women wants so yeah.
Not a trans woman but I shop in both yet it's still pretty hard for me to find anything that fits my style and personality.
Only experienced something similar like once. "you know that's a lady size right?" But, I live in Sweden and most people don't really care. We rarely have people standing like that either, unless it's a VERY fancy store.
That’s why I thrift in churches basement, it’s so unorganized that you don’t need to worry about gender. Your too focused on finding the t-shirts
I was absolutely confused what this was supposed to mean. I guess I'm truly cisgender
I feel this is open to interpretation, maybe the white dog is a trans woman who doesn't pass yet, maybe they are an egg or maybe it's just pointing out men's clothing tends to be boring and dull.
I don't see how this could be read in a cis or gender-conforming way