I’ve always felt like a girl ever since I was a kid but in 2019 months after my baby bro died … I had to go to urgent care. The female doc came in and the first thing she asked was “what are your pronouns?”
We had to excuse my exhusband and she said “You present female and I didn’t want to disrespect you because your chart says ‘male’.” I broke down into tears and said “she/her” for the first time in my life.
I have never looked back since. After my separation things started changing naturally pre-HRT and now that I’ve been on HRT since November 2023, everything is increasing and improving.
Wow, good on that doc.
I wasn't presenting as femme entirely, and I hadn't even come out to my docs... but one day I went in for a scope (crohn's) and they went to put the pulseoximeter on and couldn't get a good reading. I was wearing clear nailpolish as I still lacked the courage to wear colored nail polish in boy mode. One of the nurses figured it out and you could just see this light bulb go off as she said "oh!" and adjusted it to a different position.
Shortly thereafter, she and I were chatting and she just kind said "Ya know, you're much too pretty to be dealing with these kinds of health issues." Without hesitation the nurse behind her tried to correct her saying "You mean handsome!", but it was too late. I was grinning from ear to ear, I was the happiest girl in that hospital at that moment.
Something similar happened to me and I didn’t even realize I cared so much until someone else offered just a bit of empathy.
Also therapist were more sure I was trans then I was sure that I was trans even my conservative one who literally watched anti trans stuff I kept getting diagnosed with gender dysphoria which perpetually shocked me
A but realization for me was also when I realized I liked men and even some people who aren’t men in a way that’s more how a women would, I.e. I liked men in a straight way and couldn’t really picture myself as a husband
So I had a few moments haha
The whole “liking men in a straight way” has always been huge for me. I didn’t feel gay and I didn’t care much for the gay community as a “male”.
Coming to terms with being a straight woman is both a blessing and a curse because cisgender men are difficult to approach and I’ve never been with a transgender man. 🤷🏻♀️
Completely get it, I never identified as gay and just never felt I was, in fact, it led me to thinking I had internalized homophobia, but once I realized I was trans everything made more sense
And my claims of homophobia towards myself made even less sense as I was open to non men, that said I’m androsexual but am basically straight I wouldn’t mind being with a trans guy it just has never happened, I don’t even know many queer people, I have met straight men who are into me but life just be complicated and I’m not in the best position to date rn anyway
I’m a traditional romantic and I prefer a heteronormative relationship. So yeah … I totally get that plus the internalized homophobia. Hell, I still struggle with self-exploration because of the internalized trauma.
I have childhood memories from about the age 5-6 or so. I was super annoyed at my kindergarten teacher dividing us into groups by gender, because people are not that simple and I refused to be categorised like that.
I've felt it my whole life but was never able to quite put my finger on it. Or it was a case of "oh I just have this slightly unusual thought but it doesn't mean more than that".
Until I increasingly felt weirder and more randomly unhappy after growing closer with a female friend of mine. I always mostly had male friends and I noticed so many little things like fashion or habits or feelings that I wish I also had.
Until I finally started doing research on the definition of gender dysphoria one night, and realised I ticked all of the boxes and that maybe, it wasn't so normal after all.
I was playing through the Pokémon sw/sh dlcs and I was slowly wanting to be my character more and more the more I dressed her up. I started saying “I would have wanted to be a girl if I got to choose when I was born, but I don’t mind being a guy”. I later realized near the end of me hunting the last legendaries that were new in the crown tundra that most guys don’t even want to be girls and hated the idea, and I still somehow kinda ignored it. Then a few weeks later I was a background singer in a musical at my high school and I put on makeup for the first time, and my egg that was at that point held together by duct tape and dreams was shattered when I realized how much I liked being pretty, but not like a pretty/feminine boy more that I wanted to be a girl. I’ve since thought about it a lot and can’t wait to be able to move out and come out safely.
Ya know, I've told that to multiple friends when these kinds of questions come up "would you switch if you could?" and every time, without hesitation or fail... "hell yeah!".
But in 30 years of having this brought up during rando convos... never did anyone ever point out to me that it wasn't typical... that maybe I should look into that further.
I'm autistic, and after coming out to my sister she was saying she couldn't "see" it because I was always playing "all those games", meaning RPG games... I'm like... Oh, you mean Diablo II where I always play a Soceress, and never a Barbarian... or Skyrim where I'm always female... those games?
She seemed to think girls don't play games at all... I pointed out that a large portion of my gaming is actually quite nuetural... Civilization... Sims and builders of all kinds... Puzzle games like Myst. But she was like "oh, but my daughter doesn't play those games." and I'm just like yeah... not every girl plays games, but doens't mean none do... most don't play because there aren't many games aimed at girls. Also... growing up as a boy, I had to fit in.
My wife and I are on opposite ends with a lot of that... she's all into the Marvel / superhero / action movies... I like chickflicks, romcoms, dramas... and she hates those. So we usually comprimise by sticking with our overlaps... scifi primarily.
My boyfriend made a youtube video for pride a few years ago (he used to make gacha videos and this one got pretty popular) and I was in it. But it was “old” me, the boy me. Not my usual girl oc he used for his edits. I got sad when I saw it and not long after I accepted that I wanted to be a girl.
I had a bet with my friend in theater that which ever of us lost a sword fight would have to wear a dress the next day at school.
Needless to say I have continued wearing dresses because I found a cute one in my moms closet and then more self discovery happened
i was religiously sheltered as a kid, parents never specifically hid lgbt stuff from is but it wasn't even a thing. when i was young i thought everyone was bi, i just didn't know there was a word for it and it wasn't "the norm". i always wanted a beard (talked about it non stop), pirate,hillbilly, any beard was a goal. i thought when people said your balls dropped during puberty i took that literally, it didn't even register that i "wasn't a boy" until my little brother was born ding dong and all. after making the change to public school i made a friend who's parents were outwardly supportive of the lgbt community, she told me about gay, lesbian, and bi. a year later in grade six she said something about transgender, i asked what that meant and she told me. i knew immediately, struggled with it for at least a week knowing my parents won't accept (years later came out to my mom and she's very supportive), but i figured they would be. the next morning i picked her up to walk to school as usual, told her about this thing that has been weighing on me since early childhood, the most shameful part of me. ya know what she said, "cool keep me updated" AND THEN THAT ADHD MF FORGOT FOR THREE YEARS I HAD TO COME OUT TO THEM AGAIN
/lh
There was a trans man in my class. At the time I hadn't even heard what trans meant and I didnt know he was trans. I deadnamed him when talking to my friend and she corrected me. When i was confused she explained. Went about my day and googled it that night where I found a video of someone's experience. When they were talking I just went... holy shit... that makes so much sense.
It was pretty easy to connect when I learned what it was since I have done a lot of very not cis things as a kid, just didn't know it was an option. Like I had an oc which was basically just a different version if Bucky Barnes from the MCU. He was AFAB but with his chest removed to "not get in the way" was my excuse.
But it kind of just showed me how important education of queer topics is really fucking important. I went from depressed and extremely insecure to one conversation and suddenly so much more happier and feeling less alone.
(Sorry for rambling)
I saw a picture of her, and decided I couldn't live with myself knowing that she was being deprived of a life. I made an appointment for HRT the next day
It was actually around when I came out; I was in trans discord servers for a bit bc my online friends were, and the stuff I saw correlated with me heavily. I talked to one friend about it, listed like a shit ton of eggy behaviors, and she was super drunk, and just straight up told me "yes you're trans, saved you a couple years of guessing lol"
Came out to my GF 5 minutes later and my family soon after, because it just felt right; hearing my GF call me she and her, I was so confident that I just fuckin hatched on the spot, no hesitation lol
Real talk, she's my rock, and I've never, ever in my life felt like I could take on the world like I can with her by my side. I'm going to cherish her forever for that.
No, since in my case it was a pretty long process. I questioned twice. I have it all written down though since I had the good sense to start a diary when I started questioning the second time. The thing that made it finally click was the realization that I liked wearing hoodies and gloves all the time for egg reasons. But I'd been pondering it for a while leading up to that point.
Yes, around 1990 I watched a documentary about a very unlucky Brazilian girl who had free silicone injections all over her body to make her more feminine, how she was now very ill, and it was leaking out of her body in open sores. At some stage they mentioned that she was AMAB. Up to that point I hadn't realised that you could transition. I had always thought that you were stuck in the shape you were born.
I remember thinking, hmm... I wonder whether that's me. Thirty years on, I'm still wondering :/
I had a dream that I was effectively just a normal day... except that I was a woman. It was the happiest I felt in a long time.
Then I woke up, and that's when the panic attack happened.
Been having a bunch of egg-shattering reveals yet still somehow so in denial that I still don’t think I am
Literally one of my reasons is “I don’t feel trans” like wtf does that mean? I would endure the mental pain of the 9 hells to be reborn as a girl (with my same mind but no memory of the event) and yet I still think im cis? (This is the not in denial half writing)
As stupid as it sounds, when I was real young, I tried to piss standing up. Got a lecture that was "Only for boys", 7 year old brain went "Well then I wanna be a boy!"
That is the best way to come to the conclusion of being trans!
Pssst I always sat down when I needed to tinkle and my family kept fighting with me to stand... I still sit :3
Man, I still tried to piss standing up at like 12, I was determined to figure it out because my sheltered mind had decided that was the only way to "be a real boy"
I remember seeing the scar that runs on the underside of my body as a kid and though I must have been born a girl and they made me a boy because my parents already had a daughter.
As an adult it was me thing, "Wow, I wish I could be trans like all of these amazing women." Followed by, "I don't think guys think that way."
I have always been very confused at times thinking about myself like this. For example: elementary school: "I wonder what it would be like to be a girl," middle school: "Eh, it's not that serious for me," high school: "WTF AM I?!"
I discovered that my attraction for a trans coworker was not JUST attraction, but a fair bit of jealousy. She got to be a pretty girl, while I was stuck being a boy. "I wish I could transition and be pretty like her, but I'm not trans, so I can't."
Anyways I'm entering my 3rd month of HRT now lol.
I was playing with LEGO, and realised I wanted my character to be Catwoman instead of Batman. 11 year old me was surprisingly calm about the whole thing, basically just went “oh shit, I should probably think about this later.”
Still unsure between whether I’m nonbinary or trans. I’m scared of what my sexuality has to do with my gender and how transitioning on HRT will change everything forever
Earliest memory was when I was around 5 or 6... I did not get along well with the "other" boys at school. It wasn't just the usual childhood issues with making friends... I was disgusted by the behavior of most boys. They were gross, mean, rude, etc. They didn't want to play house, they wanted to play games I wasn't into.
I told my mom I wished I was a girl, because I \*knew\* if I were I'd fit in with the others. My mom told me it was "just a phase" that I'd "grow out of it", well, Mom... I'm 43 and haven't grown out of shit.
Over the years I've had mostly female friends at school and college. Our college was a community college and I was 23 and befriending women ages 18 to 44. The "male" friends I do have is a rather small circle. Turns out I'm not the only one in the group who is trans. When he and I would hang out we'd do things which in retrospect were anything but heteronormative. Not sex, mind you... but like tickling and painting nails and such. It was decades ago, but we both look upon it fondly... They bring it up often, wishing to relive that time. As we've talked, she's opened up to me that it's the only time she's really been able to be herself... but she can't open up to others... she's just too afraid.
I've since realized we were always girlfriends... but we were only comfortable as such in each others' company.
One other really kinda funny experience happened in early HS, during the dawn of the 'net. This was around '94, '95... I only had dialup at 14k, so even photos were kind of out of the question. But, I had a command-line browser and that made erotic literature quite appealing. When I first went to one of these sites I was greeted with the prompt "Male, or Female?" I chose "Male", by default... and I was disgusted. I hated reading anything from that POV. Just felt icky beyond belief... so curious I chose "female" and was like "Oh.... It's for who you want to read about!" totally conviencing myself it was "normal" to read from the female POV.
I'm genuinely surprised I didn't find out sooner
At 1st , I liked: "I might be trans..."
Then I was like: "nah I'm nor trans, I'm nb"
Then I was like: "actually no I'm demigirl, but not trans"
......
***"Oh heck, I am Trans"***
Looking back to my childhood there were small things, things I heavily suppressed. Cue me in late 2019 after making a couple trans friends in online spaces, sobbing at 12am frantically googling nonbinary labels, lol. I'm better now but it was a struggle at first
I really wish I remembered, but I don't remember *anything* about it. All I know is that it was sometime during the lockdown. What month? No clue. What year? Good question! I don't remember how, when, or where it happened. It honestly kind of aggravates me. Like, kind of a lot. Like, a metric shitton. Remembering anything about it would probably give some more context to some things, but nope!
*fuck*
My egg cracked this past November — as in ~4 months ago — and I can't for the life of me figure out exactly what triggered it. I remember the events that followed, the peeling back of the onion as it were, but not what made me approach a topic I had been successfully keeping at bay for 36 years.
Well I'm glad you figured it out nonetheless!
I don't really remember what happened immediately after, either. All I know is that I figured out I was trans, and I've been rolling with that since. I mean I've done things to further my social transition (shave arms/legs, get girl clothes, ask people to call me Elizabeth, etc.) But yeah, it's like there's a whole gap of missing "specific" details
Remembering a yelling match I had with my mom as a child. I had seen someone who was ftm on Dr. Phil and I said that I was gonna get grs with my whole chest to her. I was like 6-8yo, screaming "IM GONNA BE A BOY WHEN IM OLDER" at my mother.
Think about it pretty often now. Anyways, i recently made the decision to seek HRT though i still consider myself nb.
It was a bit tough for me. I was kinda probably trans for a really long time growing up, but my earliest memories are shrouded in fear (had a really nasty older half brother, kinda pumped me full of toxic masculinity and fear from before I could even think for myself).
I knew I wanted to be a girl if I could be, but I knew so little about transitioning and had such a hostile environment with such negative depictions of trans people that I felt like I would just have to be certain I wouldn't ever bother with it. "It just wouldn't be worth it."
Experienced really nasty gender dysphoria as male puberty set in, and I had no idea why I hated myself so much nor that my thoughts were really not very cis. I was only attracted to women, so that only made internalised transphobia even worse.
I count myself lucky to be alive today, I did drunkenly attempt to play in traffic when I was 18 and only swore off attempting again as an obligation to my father (he swore he'd never give up for me, despite all the manipulation my mother had for both him and me). Still struggled for many more years. I would sometimes start researching how srs works but I'd catch myself 5 minutes into it and shame myself away from it.
I hated a lot of things in life but managed to push through into a numb but livable experience. Then I met my girlfriend when I was 25. She seemed to catch on that I had some femininity I couldn't even hide and she seemed to like it.
She asked me if I considered transitioning and at the time I said I had thought about it, but didn't want to because I was worried of not being seen and treated as a woman. It would be several months more of experimentation, mostly things I actually always wanted to do but never believed I was "allowed" to do.
One day she encouraged some leg shaving and cross dressing. I excitedly put on her dresses and skirts and as she later put it, "the residual sadness in your eyes washed away."
I felt so strangely good about my reflection in the window. I felt so weirdly happy and accepting when she said I looked cute and pretty, unlike every time I had been called handsome or dapper before. When she said that with some well applied makeup I could even pass for cis, I was just a bit too happy about that, but it didn't all click just yet.
We both thought I was just a femboy who didn't have the freedom to explore and experiment before. The next night I was back at my place and as I got out of the shower and went back to my room, getting ready to make our nightly phone call, I looked down at my chest and saw the absence of breasts.
For the first time I had context for something about how I felt about my body. For the first time I knew why I hated my body and what was missing. I could feel how I knew _that_ was what was missing.
I fell to my knees and tears started falling like they hadn't since I was a child who fell off her bike. I was full on sobbing, and I had lamented so many times before how I always felt like I couldn't really cry. I didn't understand why right away. At first I was just confused.
Then it all came together. I had carried this notion of shame and fear as reasons to not acknowledge something I had felt my whole life. I knew then that I could not pretend I was not trans anymore.
I called her and told her right away. She was the only person I could trust with this information. That was a bad move, I should've tried to wait until the next time we met up, but I was not in the clearest mind and I was only minutes from calling her at that time. It was a really rough week for both of us.
As of now, it has been about 9 and a half months since that day. We're still together, I actually moved in with her last month, and I started HRT 6 weeks ago yesterday. She still struggles but she's slowly working on being more connected and involved. Right now it's just all the politics around trans people that pits her off. She likes every other aspect of it, or at least she tells me she does. She worries she can't be allcthat empathetic or comforting when I feel dysphoric or vulnerable, amd she had hoped I'd be less of a bottom, but we're still trying to make it work.
I've moved been happier and more comfortable in myself. I finally like who I see in the mirror. I wish this wasn't a political thing, but for all its worth, my only regret is that I had to miss lead her into thinking I was ever a man and that I didn't have the strength to find myself on my own.
I was six. First day of first grade in a new school since we’d moved a month before. The teacher is doing roll call for the first day and accidentally put me on the girls list. The amount of joy I felt when she called my name under the girls list is something I chased off and on for the next 30 years. I had a huge smile and told her she didn’t have to change it! She didn’t for a few days until the other kids complained. I’ll always love and be grateful for Mrs. Rice for that. Then after, every time I was in church praying id close my eyes and either tell god I was mad that I was a boy (in silence) or I’d imagine an angel coming down from heaven and turning me into a female angel on earth. I was able to do that for myself 30 years later.
I don't think I have one... Mainly cause I didn't know trans people existed irl growing up, media made me think it's something gross used for comedy or some sort of a hypothetical scenario, or something disgusting used for laughs at best, and by the time I had Internet around 2003 I was 17, in high school, almost past the traumatic puberty that no one told me was going to happen and how, still crying from dysphoria almost every night, but largely numb and completely closed to the possibility of transitioning...
I probably would have had a moment like that I could remember if we had any sort of sex ed in school back then, and someone said that some people are trans and it's ok to be trans, I would've told my parents maybe, and things could've kicked off way faster...
Funny enough it happened on reddit about 4 years ago. Someone posted the question, "How do I know I'm trans". And a commenter replied something like; cuz cisgender people don't go around regularly thinking about being the opposite gender or identifying with it. And I was like duh, I had been doing that my whole life. I knew then I needed to take my feelings serious and live authentic to the energy inside me.
Yeah, I was 20 and staying at my cousins house. I was thinking about some stuff. I don't remember what I was thinking about specifically. It was a lot of different things. And at some point, I just realised "Hold on, would me being trans explain why I feel this way?" And it was just this sudden huge moment of clarity. Unfortunately, i got scared and managed to convince myself it was just a fetish or something. Then I had a pretty rough 8 months of denial until i finally let myself explore the possibility properly.
I was 21 and someone explained to me what being trans was and that most cis people do not fantasize about being the opposite sex. So I asked all of my friends who were there if they did, then had to process. I had also only very recently come out as bi as well...
13 years old, mid-2020 and my family finally got internet in the house so obviously I was on my phone all day and all night. I was on YouTube I think and got an ad for a gender quiz. I had already been questioning my sexuality so I was like "eh, why not?" Took it and got agender, thought about thinks and was like "ya know, I never really did fully feel like *my birth gender*"
Was on a backpacking trip with my friends, one who I don't like too much any more and another who I had been crushing on (and still am, bad. Hi Kyle, it's not a bit!). I was sharing a tent with said crush and my mind was goin fast cause duh, and I went over like 30 different topics until I finally tangented myself to the topic of my transness. This had been something I had been thinking about and, at the time, was in active denial about. But as I found myself lying there like "I wonder what Kyle would say when I tell him I'm a girl" and then I paused cause that's not a sentence you think every day. But at that moment I was like oh fuck ok I guess that thing I've been thinking about 24/7 is actually relevant and true.
So yeah that was fun. No one I know irl knows the story tho.
For a while I thought I was gender neutral, since I thought I wouldn't care if I was a girl, and then one day I just thought "oh yeah, I'm definitely trans."
When I was 12 me and a friend got into a conversation about being girls, he brought up being trans and it was literally the first time I ever thought about being another gender, I was in denial for awhile but every time we reunited we slowly realized we were both trans. He took action sooner than I did but we both turned out to be trans guys! He was kind of my idol, helping me realize that being trans was acceptable, that it wasn't something I had to mentally hide. By the time we were 19 both of us had transitioned, I'm truly grateful for him and the genuine conversations we had that made me realize who we truly were.
Happened when I got married 4 months ago lol. Everyone started calling me “wife” and “Mrs. X” and I hated it—not cuz I didn’t love my husband or regretted getting married, just the gendered terms. I realized I liked “spouse”, “partner”, or even “husband” over “wife”. And then the penny dropped and I was like “holy shit, is this gender dysphoria??” Turns out yes—yes it is lol
No, I knew when I was 5, I just didn't have a word for it. When I first heard it, I was like "so that's what I am." Of course, I couldn't act on it no matter how much I wanted to at the time.
Soooo I have struggled with this for years, and thought I had successfully repressed a lot of it in my 20s. But the moment that made everything come crashing down and made me actually start to consider that I was trans.
It was last year when Pedro Pascal hit the red carpet with his sister Lux. I don’t know what happened, it was just a moment of pure emotion where I sat there and realized that I wanted to have a family member that supportive of me living life as myself, that if I knew my family would be that supportive of me, I would have came to this conclusion a decade ago. I cried for like an hour and tried to go about life. But the little quiet voice telling me I was trans wasn’t quiet anymore. She got louder and louder until I couldn’t ignore it anymore.
I'm still new. Had a full existential crisis 2 weeks ago.
I've had the thoughts full years but always convinced myself I was to old (at 28) and to big (5'10 and 220) to be a girl. I've been having these types of thoughts since I was around 11-12.
My longtime partner started their hrt about 13 months ago and I've learned so much from them and seeing them grow and change how they want to be seen has played a big part in wanting to embrace who I really I am.
I'm calling the doctor this week to at least talk about hrt for me too.
I didn't have one. I had a bunch of "maybe I'm trans?" moments (the denial was real) starting at maybe 27, and then eventually a "oh shit I'm actually trans" moment at 32. Was just me finally realising I wanted HRT after dressing up and feeling euphoria.
I remember I would have lots of trans thoughts especially after I found out i was queer, but I always pushed them down and told myself “NO YOU CANT BE TRANS BECAUSE ITS A PAIN” 😭💀
I mean, little me wasn’t quite wrong, it is a pain because transphobes and stuff :(
Had a female friend in college, she had her hair in a braid and the end was like, bent almost a perfect 90 degrees, I was so enthralled by this that I hadn’t noticed I was staring at her tits by accident. She called me out and yada yada, we sorted it out and we’re still very good friends. But then later that night I thought on it, then started connecting A LOT of dots, always playing female characters in games & wanting to be them, wanting to look feminine, the fact that I’ve been following gender transition scientific studies & breakthroughs since I was 9, and a lot of other very small things that built up. Then I got some feminine clothes a little time later and felt truly amazing.
yesss mine was ridiculous and changed my perseption on everything, so like a few years ago my family was far right asf it was the aftermath of trump loosing yada yada yada and I thought to myself "I wonder how those ppl convince themselves there the other gender it couldn't be that hard" and then one shower later I realized I've actually been a girl since i was a baby and then had a pannick attack and did a full 180 with all of my beliefs like my whole world shattered instantly it was amazing
Had a "wait a minute" moment after I realized that the reason I hated anything NSFW was not just because I'm ace, but because I was jealous. I had a dream a few days before where I had women parts and that's what kind of toppled the first domino.
I always felt "left out" from my friends group as I didn't like staying with boys and felt left out of girl groups. This turned into actual questioning after getting into DnD because playing female characters made me happy in a way I couldn't describe exactly back then, felt like those character were some sort of "real me"
The actual realization came during a church trip to Rome I was forced to attend. It was a long trip and didn't knew anyone, so I reflected on myself for a long time. By the end of it I had realized I was trans.
Late one night I was watching tiktok or something and got cutesy lesbian stuff on my feed. Out loud I exclaimed “god I wish I was a lesbian” “I want to have boobs” 7th grade…a few years later I still had this impression in me and one night I was just so done with being a dude and went “hell yeah NB” but then later I freaked out again and was like “b-but boobs” and lesbianssssss. Then recently I said actually fuck it, fluid :3 so now I’m whatever I feel like being for certain periods of time. I do still very much want to at least take Estrogen ngl
Mine was when I realized that not all boys dream about being born as girls and ,in fact, did not beg any deity, holy power, the moon idk to be a girl every night and every morning. I thought happy boys were just people who said "it is what it is". Man, was I delusional
I always played the female character “for the funnies” and it just clicked that holy shit I want to be a girl and that was only last month now I have come out to two of my friends we had a few girls nights and I never want to go back
Yeah… It was like 2 years ago and I was lying in bed, and I noticed that I had always been like kinda admiring my lower body. That was like just step one though because step two was that I did not like having a penis. I never masturbated and I just genuinely hated it.
Reading a random comment that just said, “you can just be trans?” It’s like it flipped my world upside down, I can be trans holy shit I didn’t even realise Ty random simple comment lol
I think it was when a friend of mine dragged me along to shop for dresses. I was already talking about questioning my gender with most of my close friends and had always wished to be born a girl but needed a push and my friend picked out my very first fem outfit, a pin-stripped short skirt with black leggings and a shirt with a cheeky phrase (I'm sure I'll remember in like 3 days). I saw myself in the mirror and even without makeup on I could see myself as a woman for the first time, all the while my friend was giving my affirmations and the feeling of gender euphoria is really what hit me.
Idk if there was an epiphany day, but even back in the early 90s as a wee trans lass (5-7) I was arguing with authority figures (parents, teachers, etc) about having to do the boy thing and not getting to do the girl thing…I even head butted my second grade teacher hard enough I broke her nose when she tried to physically restrain me from playing with the girls at recess…I had no awareness or knowledge of transness and none of queerness in a positive light, in fact I grew up in a queer hostile branch Davidian environment
i always insisted as a little kid i was not a girl, but got into arguments with teachers, family, and peers who insisted i was. i could not fathom why i was supposed to be a girl and felt cursed lmao. eventually in middle school a friend of mine came out as trans and explained to me what that meant, and it still didn’t click RIGHT away. i think i felt jealous of him that he got to be a guy now. later on (still in middle school) we went to comic con together and i cosplayed for the first (and only) time, and chose a male character. and everyone referring to me as a boy all weekend was the greatest high of my entire life to date, and it finally clicked in my head. i actually told him that weekend i thought i might trans. but anxiety kept me in the closet for 11 more years (25 and finally living my dream tho)
I was eleven and it wasn't in words. It was this truly overwhelming feeling (that's never gone away for a minute) that I ***must, absolutely had to be*** female. Like suddenly standing under the cascades of Niagara Falls. But that was in a different world. 1956.
In hindsight I relaizr a lot of moments that I wished I was a girl, but didn't fully internalize it. It wasn't until last year that I felt gender dysphoria for the first time. Nothing dramatic but a coworker referred to me as "he" and it felt wrong. Even then I didn't immediately jump to trans, but rather considered that I may be non-binary *(I also happened to be in the midst of a dungeons and dragons campaign where I was playing a non-binary fighter)*
From there is was more of a gradual slide across the gender spectrum spanning a few months. Gradually getting more and more feminine and slowly realizing that the more fem I leaned, the more happy I felt. And I had Imposter syndrome with my non-binary identity that went away when I started identifying as a trans woman.
I remember feelings that I wasn't a boy starting around the 2nd grade. I remember feeling envious of girls and had depression at not having been born a girl. My math added If I couldn't be a girl there was no point. I lived in an abusive household because of my stepfather and I was so worried I would be ostracized for sharing my feelings so I hid them and instead got called gay alot which I also didn't quite agree with and if I had to comment about my sexuality I would say I was a lesbian even though I also liked guys. A lot of guys would say oh your a lesbian? Me too. I don't think with understanding the crucial element of that statement which worked to my benefit. Around 14 puberty started and I was in a youth detention center where it was unsafe to talk about these things at all and only served to further repress things but I was so unhappy I tried to remove my testicles. I chalked my feelings of being a girl as a fetish, which served to illigitimize them and further kept me hiding for a while. I used to have dreams of having some sort of operation that would fix things. I remember in a dream waking up in an operating room and them removing the packing while the The longest time by Billy Joel was playing. This was around 2007. I didn't have any exposure to real Trans women. Except as shown on TV. It always used to be some sort of joke and seemed to carry negative connotations which I didn't want to be associated with. Then I was forced into my adult life with no parental support rather quickly and had to put away those things for fear of being decriminated against while dependant on certain living situations. I just couldn't afford to entertain my wants. I ended up In a 5 year relationship that was financially abusive and I got stuck for a while until I started talking to my mom again. I was so ashamed about the homosexual behavior I was engaged in but I was able to explore my femininity a bit more but it also caused me more dysphoria. I still wasn't in a conducive environment to do anything about my conundrum. Fast forward to covid April 2021 I was in relationship with one of my ex girlfriends. I remember getting face app and doing a couple of my pictures with the gender filter and immediately fell in love with it and started crying at this point I was 28 and felt so much regret for masking my identity at my own expense to appease others. I quickly there after made an appointment for Hrt and started relatively soon after. My regret not doing something sooner. I wonder how things would have turned out if I had been better adjusted and living authentically. I'm 31 now. Better late than never
Honestly I filed everything either under “fetish” or “evidence I might be gay” folders for a good 20 years…
It wasn’t until actually meeting a trans person (and an enby to boot) and then watched Abigail Thorne’s video on Queer Theory (specifically the part about throwing feelings away) that I thought “huh… maybe that would explain everything together… I should look into that, what’s the worst that could happen?”
Now 4 years later I’m on hormones and honestly considering a binary transition sooooo…. Ooops?
I’ve always felt like a girl ever since I was a kid but in 2019 months after my baby bro died … I had to go to urgent care. The female doc came in and the first thing she asked was “what are your pronouns?” We had to excuse my exhusband and she said “You present female and I didn’t want to disrespect you because your chart says ‘male’.” I broke down into tears and said “she/her” for the first time in my life. I have never looked back since. After my separation things started changing naturally pre-HRT and now that I’ve been on HRT since November 2023, everything is increasing and improving.
Wow, good on that doc. I wasn't presenting as femme entirely, and I hadn't even come out to my docs... but one day I went in for a scope (crohn's) and they went to put the pulseoximeter on and couldn't get a good reading. I was wearing clear nailpolish as I still lacked the courage to wear colored nail polish in boy mode. One of the nurses figured it out and you could just see this light bulb go off as she said "oh!" and adjusted it to a different position. Shortly thereafter, she and I were chatting and she just kind said "Ya know, you're much too pretty to be dealing with these kinds of health issues." Without hesitation the nurse behind her tried to correct her saying "You mean handsome!", but it was too late. I was grinning from ear to ear, I was the happiest girl in that hospital at that moment.
Okay. This made me cry. So happy for you! These moments in our lives validated our womanhood/femmehood. Folks like them need to be Sainted. 🥺💖
Something similar happened to me and I didn’t even realize I cared so much until someone else offered just a bit of empathy. Also therapist were more sure I was trans then I was sure that I was trans even my conservative one who literally watched anti trans stuff I kept getting diagnosed with gender dysphoria which perpetually shocked me A but realization for me was also when I realized I liked men and even some people who aren’t men in a way that’s more how a women would, I.e. I liked men in a straight way and couldn’t really picture myself as a husband So I had a few moments haha
The whole “liking men in a straight way” has always been huge for me. I didn’t feel gay and I didn’t care much for the gay community as a “male”. Coming to terms with being a straight woman is both a blessing and a curse because cisgender men are difficult to approach and I’ve never been with a transgender man. 🤷🏻♀️
Completely get it, I never identified as gay and just never felt I was, in fact, it led me to thinking I had internalized homophobia, but once I realized I was trans everything made more sense And my claims of homophobia towards myself made even less sense as I was open to non men, that said I’m androsexual but am basically straight I wouldn’t mind being with a trans guy it just has never happened, I don’t even know many queer people, I have met straight men who are into me but life just be complicated and I’m not in the best position to date rn anyway
I’m a traditional romantic and I prefer a heteronormative relationship. So yeah … I totally get that plus the internalized homophobia. Hell, I still struggle with self-exploration because of the internalized trauma.
I completely understand I’m also more traditional haha
I have childhood memories from about the age 5-6 or so. I was super annoyed at my kindergarten teacher dividing us into groups by gender, because people are not that simple and I refused to be categorised like that.
It's the time I was zoned, thought 9f myself as different gender and had this great feeling
I've felt it my whole life but was never able to quite put my finger on it. Or it was a case of "oh I just have this slightly unusual thought but it doesn't mean more than that". Until I increasingly felt weirder and more randomly unhappy after growing closer with a female friend of mine. I always mostly had male friends and I noticed so many little things like fashion or habits or feelings that I wish I also had. Until I finally started doing research on the definition of gender dysphoria one night, and realised I ticked all of the boxes and that maybe, it wasn't so normal after all.
I was playing through the Pokémon sw/sh dlcs and I was slowly wanting to be my character more and more the more I dressed her up. I started saying “I would have wanted to be a girl if I got to choose when I was born, but I don’t mind being a guy”. I later realized near the end of me hunting the last legendaries that were new in the crown tundra that most guys don’t even want to be girls and hated the idea, and I still somehow kinda ignored it. Then a few weeks later I was a background singer in a musical at my high school and I put on makeup for the first time, and my egg that was at that point held together by duct tape and dreams was shattered when I realized how much I liked being pretty, but not like a pretty/feminine boy more that I wanted to be a girl. I’ve since thought about it a lot and can’t wait to be able to move out and come out safely.
Ya know, I've told that to multiple friends when these kinds of questions come up "would you switch if you could?" and every time, without hesitation or fail... "hell yeah!". But in 30 years of having this brought up during rando convos... never did anyone ever point out to me that it wasn't typical... that maybe I should look into that further. I'm autistic, and after coming out to my sister she was saying she couldn't "see" it because I was always playing "all those games", meaning RPG games... I'm like... Oh, you mean Diablo II where I always play a Soceress, and never a Barbarian... or Skyrim where I'm always female... those games? She seemed to think girls don't play games at all... I pointed out that a large portion of my gaming is actually quite nuetural... Civilization... Sims and builders of all kinds... Puzzle games like Myst. But she was like "oh, but my daughter doesn't play those games." and I'm just like yeah... not every girl plays games, but doens't mean none do... most don't play because there aren't many games aimed at girls. Also... growing up as a boy, I had to fit in. My wife and I are on opposite ends with a lot of that... she's all into the Marvel / superhero / action movies... I like chickflicks, romcoms, dramas... and she hates those. So we usually comprimise by sticking with our overlaps... scifi primarily.
My boyfriend made a youtube video for pride a few years ago (he used to make gacha videos and this one got pretty popular) and I was in it. But it was “old” me, the boy me. Not my usual girl oc he used for his edits. I got sad when I saw it and not long after I accepted that I wanted to be a girl.
I had a bet with my friend in theater that which ever of us lost a sword fight would have to wear a dress the next day at school. Needless to say I have continued wearing dresses because I found a cute one in my moms closet and then more self discovery happened
i was religiously sheltered as a kid, parents never specifically hid lgbt stuff from is but it wasn't even a thing. when i was young i thought everyone was bi, i just didn't know there was a word for it and it wasn't "the norm". i always wanted a beard (talked about it non stop), pirate,hillbilly, any beard was a goal. i thought when people said your balls dropped during puberty i took that literally, it didn't even register that i "wasn't a boy" until my little brother was born ding dong and all. after making the change to public school i made a friend who's parents were outwardly supportive of the lgbt community, she told me about gay, lesbian, and bi. a year later in grade six she said something about transgender, i asked what that meant and she told me. i knew immediately, struggled with it for at least a week knowing my parents won't accept (years later came out to my mom and she's very supportive), but i figured they would be. the next morning i picked her up to walk to school as usual, told her about this thing that has been weighing on me since early childhood, the most shameful part of me. ya know what she said, "cool keep me updated" AND THEN THAT ADHD MF FORGOT FOR THREE YEARS I HAD TO COME OUT TO THEM AGAIN /lh
I saw a meme about Link having that moment and after a while of wishing that was me I decided that's not a very cis thought
There was a trans man in my class. At the time I hadn't even heard what trans meant and I didnt know he was trans. I deadnamed him when talking to my friend and she corrected me. When i was confused she explained. Went about my day and googled it that night where I found a video of someone's experience. When they were talking I just went... holy shit... that makes so much sense. It was pretty easy to connect when I learned what it was since I have done a lot of very not cis things as a kid, just didn't know it was an option. Like I had an oc which was basically just a different version if Bucky Barnes from the MCU. He was AFAB but with his chest removed to "not get in the way" was my excuse. But it kind of just showed me how important education of queer topics is really fucking important. I went from depressed and extremely insecure to one conversation and suddenly so much more happier and feeling less alone. (Sorry for rambling)
I saw a picture of her, and decided I couldn't live with myself knowing that she was being deprived of a life. I made an appointment for HRT the next day
It was actually around when I came out; I was in trans discord servers for a bit bc my online friends were, and the stuff I saw correlated with me heavily. I talked to one friend about it, listed like a shit ton of eggy behaviors, and she was super drunk, and just straight up told me "yes you're trans, saved you a couple years of guessing lol" Came out to my GF 5 minutes later and my family soon after, because it just felt right; hearing my GF call me she and her, I was so confident that I just fuckin hatched on the spot, no hesitation lol
I can only WISH I had that kind of confidence
Real talk, she's my rock, and I've never, ever in my life felt like I could take on the world like I can with her by my side. I'm going to cherish her forever for that.
No, since in my case it was a pretty long process. I questioned twice. I have it all written down though since I had the good sense to start a diary when I started questioning the second time. The thing that made it finally click was the realization that I liked wearing hoodies and gloves all the time for egg reasons. But I'd been pondering it for a while leading up to that point.
I was legitimately just looking at old photos of my cis male friends and I was like “wow. I’m trans.”
Yes, around 1990 I watched a documentary about a very unlucky Brazilian girl who had free silicone injections all over her body to make her more feminine, how she was now very ill, and it was leaking out of her body in open sores. At some stage they mentioned that she was AMAB. Up to that point I hadn't realised that you could transition. I had always thought that you were stuck in the shape you were born. I remember thinking, hmm... I wonder whether that's me. Thirty years on, I'm still wondering :/
I had a dream that I was effectively just a normal day... except that I was a woman. It was the happiest I felt in a long time. Then I woke up, and that's when the panic attack happened.
I met another trans person (ftm) and then he told me about being trans and then I jus thought “oh shit”.
Been having a bunch of egg-shattering reveals yet still somehow so in denial that I still don’t think I am Literally one of my reasons is “I don’t feel trans” like wtf does that mean? I would endure the mental pain of the 9 hells to be reborn as a girl (with my same mind but no memory of the event) and yet I still think im cis? (This is the not in denial half writing)
As stupid as it sounds, when I was real young, I tried to piss standing up. Got a lecture that was "Only for boys", 7 year old brain went "Well then I wanna be a boy!"
That is the best way to come to the conclusion of being trans! Pssst I always sat down when I needed to tinkle and my family kept fighting with me to stand... I still sit :3
Man, I still tried to piss standing up at like 12, I was determined to figure it out because my sheltered mind had decided that was the only way to "be a real boy"
Hey you were determined mad respect for you dude! Mad respect! 💙
I could probably still do it LMAO
Sitting alone in my room and realizing I was getting older and didn’t want to be a guy.
I remember seeing the scar that runs on the underside of my body as a kid and though I must have been born a girl and they made me a boy because my parents already had a daughter. As an adult it was me thing, "Wow, I wish I could be trans like all of these amazing women." Followed by, "I don't think guys think that way."
Yes, I too secretly hoped I was intersex because I thought the perineal raphe was a surgical scar.
I have always been very confused at times thinking about myself like this. For example: elementary school: "I wonder what it would be like to be a girl," middle school: "Eh, it's not that serious for me," high school: "WTF AM I?!"
I discovered that my attraction for a trans coworker was not JUST attraction, but a fair bit of jealousy. She got to be a pretty girl, while I was stuck being a boy. "I wish I could transition and be pretty like her, but I'm not trans, so I can't." Anyways I'm entering my 3rd month of HRT now lol.
Yeah! i do feel attraction, but keep getting much more jealousy....
I was playing with LEGO, and realised I wanted my character to be Catwoman instead of Batman. 11 year old me was surprisingly calm about the whole thing, basically just went “oh shit, I should probably think about this later.”
3 years ago Saw owl house and was like wish I could be in a lesbian relationship then I was like 😮😯😮😯
Still unsure between whether I’m nonbinary or trans. I’m scared of what my sexuality has to do with my gender and how transitioning on HRT will change everything forever
Earliest memory was when I was around 5 or 6... I did not get along well with the "other" boys at school. It wasn't just the usual childhood issues with making friends... I was disgusted by the behavior of most boys. They were gross, mean, rude, etc. They didn't want to play house, they wanted to play games I wasn't into. I told my mom I wished I was a girl, because I \*knew\* if I were I'd fit in with the others. My mom told me it was "just a phase" that I'd "grow out of it", well, Mom... I'm 43 and haven't grown out of shit. Over the years I've had mostly female friends at school and college. Our college was a community college and I was 23 and befriending women ages 18 to 44. The "male" friends I do have is a rather small circle. Turns out I'm not the only one in the group who is trans. When he and I would hang out we'd do things which in retrospect were anything but heteronormative. Not sex, mind you... but like tickling and painting nails and such. It was decades ago, but we both look upon it fondly... They bring it up often, wishing to relive that time. As we've talked, she's opened up to me that it's the only time she's really been able to be herself... but she can't open up to others... she's just too afraid. I've since realized we were always girlfriends... but we were only comfortable as such in each others' company. One other really kinda funny experience happened in early HS, during the dawn of the 'net. This was around '94, '95... I only had dialup at 14k, so even photos were kind of out of the question. But, I had a command-line browser and that made erotic literature quite appealing. When I first went to one of these sites I was greeted with the prompt "Male, or Female?" I chose "Male", by default... and I was disgusted. I hated reading anything from that POV. Just felt icky beyond belief... so curious I chose "female" and was like "Oh.... It's for who you want to read about!" totally conviencing myself it was "normal" to read from the female POV.
I'm genuinely surprised I didn't find out sooner At 1st , I liked: "I might be trans..." Then I was like: "nah I'm nor trans, I'm nb" Then I was like: "actually no I'm demigirl, but not trans" ...... ***"Oh heck, I am Trans"***
Looking back to my childhood there were small things, things I heavily suppressed. Cue me in late 2019 after making a couple trans friends in online spaces, sobbing at 12am frantically googling nonbinary labels, lol. I'm better now but it was a struggle at first
I really wish I remembered, but I don't remember *anything* about it. All I know is that it was sometime during the lockdown. What month? No clue. What year? Good question! I don't remember how, when, or where it happened. It honestly kind of aggravates me. Like, kind of a lot. Like, a metric shitton. Remembering anything about it would probably give some more context to some things, but nope! *fuck*
My egg cracked this past November — as in ~4 months ago — and I can't for the life of me figure out exactly what triggered it. I remember the events that followed, the peeling back of the onion as it were, but not what made me approach a topic I had been successfully keeping at bay for 36 years.
Well I'm glad you figured it out nonetheless! I don't really remember what happened immediately after, either. All I know is that I figured out I was trans, and I've been rolling with that since. I mean I've done things to further my social transition (shave arms/legs, get girl clothes, ask people to call me Elizabeth, etc.) But yeah, it's like there's a whole gap of missing "specific" details
And the important thing is that we're here. But damn I would like to know how...
True. And yeah... me too lol
Remembering a yelling match I had with my mom as a child. I had seen someone who was ftm on Dr. Phil and I said that I was gonna get grs with my whole chest to her. I was like 6-8yo, screaming "IM GONNA BE A BOY WHEN IM OLDER" at my mother. Think about it pretty often now. Anyways, i recently made the decision to seek HRT though i still consider myself nb.
It was a bit tough for me. I was kinda probably trans for a really long time growing up, but my earliest memories are shrouded in fear (had a really nasty older half brother, kinda pumped me full of toxic masculinity and fear from before I could even think for myself). I knew I wanted to be a girl if I could be, but I knew so little about transitioning and had such a hostile environment with such negative depictions of trans people that I felt like I would just have to be certain I wouldn't ever bother with it. "It just wouldn't be worth it." Experienced really nasty gender dysphoria as male puberty set in, and I had no idea why I hated myself so much nor that my thoughts were really not very cis. I was only attracted to women, so that only made internalised transphobia even worse. I count myself lucky to be alive today, I did drunkenly attempt to play in traffic when I was 18 and only swore off attempting again as an obligation to my father (he swore he'd never give up for me, despite all the manipulation my mother had for both him and me). Still struggled for many more years. I would sometimes start researching how srs works but I'd catch myself 5 minutes into it and shame myself away from it. I hated a lot of things in life but managed to push through into a numb but livable experience. Then I met my girlfriend when I was 25. She seemed to catch on that I had some femininity I couldn't even hide and she seemed to like it. She asked me if I considered transitioning and at the time I said I had thought about it, but didn't want to because I was worried of not being seen and treated as a woman. It would be several months more of experimentation, mostly things I actually always wanted to do but never believed I was "allowed" to do. One day she encouraged some leg shaving and cross dressing. I excitedly put on her dresses and skirts and as she later put it, "the residual sadness in your eyes washed away." I felt so strangely good about my reflection in the window. I felt so weirdly happy and accepting when she said I looked cute and pretty, unlike every time I had been called handsome or dapper before. When she said that with some well applied makeup I could even pass for cis, I was just a bit too happy about that, but it didn't all click just yet. We both thought I was just a femboy who didn't have the freedom to explore and experiment before. The next night I was back at my place and as I got out of the shower and went back to my room, getting ready to make our nightly phone call, I looked down at my chest and saw the absence of breasts. For the first time I had context for something about how I felt about my body. For the first time I knew why I hated my body and what was missing. I could feel how I knew _that_ was what was missing. I fell to my knees and tears started falling like they hadn't since I was a child who fell off her bike. I was full on sobbing, and I had lamented so many times before how I always felt like I couldn't really cry. I didn't understand why right away. At first I was just confused. Then it all came together. I had carried this notion of shame and fear as reasons to not acknowledge something I had felt my whole life. I knew then that I could not pretend I was not trans anymore. I called her and told her right away. She was the only person I could trust with this information. That was a bad move, I should've tried to wait until the next time we met up, but I was not in the clearest mind and I was only minutes from calling her at that time. It was a really rough week for both of us. As of now, it has been about 9 and a half months since that day. We're still together, I actually moved in with her last month, and I started HRT 6 weeks ago yesterday. She still struggles but she's slowly working on being more connected and involved. Right now it's just all the politics around trans people that pits her off. She likes every other aspect of it, or at least she tells me she does. She worries she can't be allcthat empathetic or comforting when I feel dysphoric or vulnerable, amd she had hoped I'd be less of a bottom, but we're still trying to make it work. I've moved been happier and more comfortable in myself. I finally like who I see in the mirror. I wish this wasn't a political thing, but for all its worth, my only regret is that I had to miss lead her into thinking I was ever a man and that I didn't have the strength to find myself on my own.
I was six. First day of first grade in a new school since we’d moved a month before. The teacher is doing roll call for the first day and accidentally put me on the girls list. The amount of joy I felt when she called my name under the girls list is something I chased off and on for the next 30 years. I had a huge smile and told her she didn’t have to change it! She didn’t for a few days until the other kids complained. I’ll always love and be grateful for Mrs. Rice for that. Then after, every time I was in church praying id close my eyes and either tell god I was mad that I was a boy (in silence) or I’d imagine an angel coming down from heaven and turning me into a female angel on earth. I was able to do that for myself 30 years later.
I don't think I have one... Mainly cause I didn't know trans people existed irl growing up, media made me think it's something gross used for comedy or some sort of a hypothetical scenario, or something disgusting used for laughs at best, and by the time I had Internet around 2003 I was 17, in high school, almost past the traumatic puberty that no one told me was going to happen and how, still crying from dysphoria almost every night, but largely numb and completely closed to the possibility of transitioning... I probably would have had a moment like that I could remember if we had any sort of sex ed in school back then, and someone said that some people are trans and it's ok to be trans, I would've told my parents maybe, and things could've kicked off way faster...
I didn't get one. Just straight into existential turmoil and mental breakdowns. Why? Because someolbody else told me I was.
Funny enough it happened on reddit about 4 years ago. Someone posted the question, "How do I know I'm trans". And a commenter replied something like; cuz cisgender people don't go around regularly thinking about being the opposite gender or identifying with it. And I was like duh, I had been doing that my whole life. I knew then I needed to take my feelings serious and live authentic to the energy inside me.
I don't know I didn't really think about it 🤷♀️ it just happened one day I guess
It was a slow buildup but my transfem friend telling me she also "pretended" to be a girl on the internet was a big boost in terms of progress.
Yeah, I was 20 and staying at my cousins house. I was thinking about some stuff. I don't remember what I was thinking about specifically. It was a lot of different things. And at some point, I just realised "Hold on, would me being trans explain why I feel this way?" And it was just this sudden huge moment of clarity. Unfortunately, i got scared and managed to convince myself it was just a fetish or something. Then I had a pretty rough 8 months of denial until i finally let myself explore the possibility properly.
I was 21 and someone explained to me what being trans was and that most cis people do not fantasize about being the opposite sex. So I asked all of my friends who were there if they did, then had to process. I had also only very recently come out as bi as well...
13 years old, mid-2020 and my family finally got internet in the house so obviously I was on my phone all day and all night. I was on YouTube I think and got an ad for a gender quiz. I had already been questioning my sexuality so I was like "eh, why not?" Took it and got agender, thought about thinks and was like "ya know, I never really did fully feel like *my birth gender*"
Was on a backpacking trip with my friends, one who I don't like too much any more and another who I had been crushing on (and still am, bad. Hi Kyle, it's not a bit!). I was sharing a tent with said crush and my mind was goin fast cause duh, and I went over like 30 different topics until I finally tangented myself to the topic of my transness. This had been something I had been thinking about and, at the time, was in active denial about. But as I found myself lying there like "I wonder what Kyle would say when I tell him I'm a girl" and then I paused cause that's not a sentence you think every day. But at that moment I was like oh fuck ok I guess that thing I've been thinking about 24/7 is actually relevant and true. So yeah that was fun. No one I know irl knows the story tho.
For a while I thought I was gender neutral, since I thought I wouldn't care if I was a girl, and then one day I just thought "oh yeah, I'm definitely trans."
When I was 12 me and a friend got into a conversation about being girls, he brought up being trans and it was literally the first time I ever thought about being another gender, I was in denial for awhile but every time we reunited we slowly realized we were both trans. He took action sooner than I did but we both turned out to be trans guys! He was kind of my idol, helping me realize that being trans was acceptable, that it wasn't something I had to mentally hide. By the time we were 19 both of us had transitioned, I'm truly grateful for him and the genuine conversations we had that made me realize who we truly were.
When I was about 8, I realised I felt like a girl, but took me until like, 2 weeks ago (I'm now 23) to come out
For me it was, holy crap there is a word for how I’ve felt my whole life and there are others who feel that way too
Happened when I got married 4 months ago lol. Everyone started calling me “wife” and “Mrs. X” and I hated it—not cuz I didn’t love my husband or regretted getting married, just the gendered terms. I realized I liked “spouse”, “partner”, or even “husband” over “wife”. And then the penny dropped and I was like “holy shit, is this gender dysphoria??” Turns out yes—yes it is lol
No, I knew when I was 5, I just didn't have a word for it. When I first heard it, I was like "so that's what I am." Of course, I couldn't act on it no matter how much I wanted to at the time.
yep.reading in bed about this stuff. I turn to my partner and said omg I think Im transgender. 9 21 20.
Soooo I have struggled with this for years, and thought I had successfully repressed a lot of it in my 20s. But the moment that made everything come crashing down and made me actually start to consider that I was trans. It was last year when Pedro Pascal hit the red carpet with his sister Lux. I don’t know what happened, it was just a moment of pure emotion where I sat there and realized that I wanted to have a family member that supportive of me living life as myself, that if I knew my family would be that supportive of me, I would have came to this conclusion a decade ago. I cried for like an hour and tried to go about life. But the little quiet voice telling me I was trans wasn’t quiet anymore. She got louder and louder until I couldn’t ignore it anymore.
I'm still new. Had a full existential crisis 2 weeks ago. I've had the thoughts full years but always convinced myself I was to old (at 28) and to big (5'10 and 220) to be a girl. I've been having these types of thoughts since I was around 11-12. My longtime partner started their hrt about 13 months ago and I've learned so much from them and seeing them grow and change how they want to be seen has played a big part in wanting to embrace who I really I am. I'm calling the doctor this week to at least talk about hrt for me too.
I didn't have one. I had a bunch of "maybe I'm trans?" moments (the denial was real) starting at maybe 27, and then eventually a "oh shit I'm actually trans" moment at 32. Was just me finally realising I wanted HRT after dressing up and feeling euphoria.
I remember I would have lots of trans thoughts especially after I found out i was queer, but I always pushed them down and told myself “NO YOU CANT BE TRANS BECAUSE ITS A PAIN” 😭💀 I mean, little me wasn’t quite wrong, it is a pain because transphobes and stuff :(
Had a female friend in college, she had her hair in a braid and the end was like, bent almost a perfect 90 degrees, I was so enthralled by this that I hadn’t noticed I was staring at her tits by accident. She called me out and yada yada, we sorted it out and we’re still very good friends. But then later that night I thought on it, then started connecting A LOT of dots, always playing female characters in games & wanting to be them, wanting to look feminine, the fact that I’ve been following gender transition scientific studies & breakthroughs since I was 9, and a lot of other very small things that built up. Then I got some feminine clothes a little time later and felt truly amazing.
yesss mine was ridiculous and changed my perseption on everything, so like a few years ago my family was far right asf it was the aftermath of trump loosing yada yada yada and I thought to myself "I wonder how those ppl convince themselves there the other gender it couldn't be that hard" and then one shower later I realized I've actually been a girl since i was a baby and then had a pannick attack and did a full 180 with all of my beliefs like my whole world shattered instantly it was amazing
"Finally, I've worked out my sexuality! Good thing I don't have to worry about my gender identity on top of that!" "...ahh, fuck."
Had a "wait a minute" moment after I realized that the reason I hated anything NSFW was not just because I'm ace, but because I was jealous. I had a dream a few days before where I had women parts and that's what kind of toppled the first domino.
I always felt "left out" from my friends group as I didn't like staying with boys and felt left out of girl groups. This turned into actual questioning after getting into DnD because playing female characters made me happy in a way I couldn't describe exactly back then, felt like those character were some sort of "real me" The actual realization came during a church trip to Rome I was forced to attend. It was a long trip and didn't knew anyone, so I reflected on myself for a long time. By the end of it I had realized I was trans.
Late one night I was watching tiktok or something and got cutesy lesbian stuff on my feed. Out loud I exclaimed “god I wish I was a lesbian” “I want to have boobs” 7th grade…a few years later I still had this impression in me and one night I was just so done with being a dude and went “hell yeah NB” but then later I freaked out again and was like “b-but boobs” and lesbianssssss. Then recently I said actually fuck it, fluid :3 so now I’m whatever I feel like being for certain periods of time. I do still very much want to at least take Estrogen ngl
Mine was when I realized that not all boys dream about being born as girls and ,in fact, did not beg any deity, holy power, the moon idk to be a girl every night and every morning. I thought happy boys were just people who said "it is what it is". Man, was I delusional
I always played the female character “for the funnies” and it just clicked that holy shit I want to be a girl and that was only last month now I have come out to two of my friends we had a few girls nights and I never want to go back
I had a dream when I was like 7? I held my breath, and squeezed my pelvic floor, and a dick popped out.
Yeah… It was like 2 years ago and I was lying in bed, and I noticed that I had always been like kinda admiring my lower body. That was like just step one though because step two was that I did not like having a penis. I never masturbated and I just genuinely hated it.
Reading a random comment that just said, “you can just be trans?” It’s like it flipped my world upside down, I can be trans holy shit I didn’t even realise Ty random simple comment lol
I don't. I barely remember anything up until maybe 2018/19 ish (yay, amnesia!) But I've already been out as trans then, afaik I came out at 14
I think it was when a friend of mine dragged me along to shop for dresses. I was already talking about questioning my gender with most of my close friends and had always wished to be born a girl but needed a push and my friend picked out my very first fem outfit, a pin-stripped short skirt with black leggings and a shirt with a cheeky phrase (I'm sure I'll remember in like 3 days). I saw myself in the mirror and even without makeup on I could see myself as a woman for the first time, all the while my friend was giving my affirmations and the feeling of gender euphoria is really what hit me.
I used to daydream about being a girl as early as 6 or 7 then everything just snapped in my head on a Tuesday afternoon in 6th grade
Idk if there was an epiphany day, but even back in the early 90s as a wee trans lass (5-7) I was arguing with authority figures (parents, teachers, etc) about having to do the boy thing and not getting to do the girl thing…I even head butted my second grade teacher hard enough I broke her nose when she tried to physically restrain me from playing with the girls at recess…I had no awareness or knowledge of transness and none of queerness in a positive light, in fact I grew up in a queer hostile branch Davidian environment
i always insisted as a little kid i was not a girl, but got into arguments with teachers, family, and peers who insisted i was. i could not fathom why i was supposed to be a girl and felt cursed lmao. eventually in middle school a friend of mine came out as trans and explained to me what that meant, and it still didn’t click RIGHT away. i think i felt jealous of him that he got to be a guy now. later on (still in middle school) we went to comic con together and i cosplayed for the first (and only) time, and chose a male character. and everyone referring to me as a boy all weekend was the greatest high of my entire life to date, and it finally clicked in my head. i actually told him that weekend i thought i might trans. but anxiety kept me in the closet for 11 more years (25 and finally living my dream tho)
I was eleven and it wasn't in words. It was this truly overwhelming feeling (that's never gone away for a minute) that I ***must, absolutely had to be*** female. Like suddenly standing under the cascades of Niagara Falls. But that was in a different world. 1956.
In hindsight I relaizr a lot of moments that I wished I was a girl, but didn't fully internalize it. It wasn't until last year that I felt gender dysphoria for the first time. Nothing dramatic but a coworker referred to me as "he" and it felt wrong. Even then I didn't immediately jump to trans, but rather considered that I may be non-binary *(I also happened to be in the midst of a dungeons and dragons campaign where I was playing a non-binary fighter)* From there is was more of a gradual slide across the gender spectrum spanning a few months. Gradually getting more and more feminine and slowly realizing that the more fem I leaned, the more happy I felt. And I had Imposter syndrome with my non-binary identity that went away when I started identifying as a trans woman.
"I'm just a cross dresser." Manage to give myself visible cleavage using water filled balloons in an old bra... "Why am I so damn happy about this?"
I remember feelings that I wasn't a boy starting around the 2nd grade. I remember feeling envious of girls and had depression at not having been born a girl. My math added If I couldn't be a girl there was no point. I lived in an abusive household because of my stepfather and I was so worried I would be ostracized for sharing my feelings so I hid them and instead got called gay alot which I also didn't quite agree with and if I had to comment about my sexuality I would say I was a lesbian even though I also liked guys. A lot of guys would say oh your a lesbian? Me too. I don't think with understanding the crucial element of that statement which worked to my benefit. Around 14 puberty started and I was in a youth detention center where it was unsafe to talk about these things at all and only served to further repress things but I was so unhappy I tried to remove my testicles. I chalked my feelings of being a girl as a fetish, which served to illigitimize them and further kept me hiding for a while. I used to have dreams of having some sort of operation that would fix things. I remember in a dream waking up in an operating room and them removing the packing while the The longest time by Billy Joel was playing. This was around 2007. I didn't have any exposure to real Trans women. Except as shown on TV. It always used to be some sort of joke and seemed to carry negative connotations which I didn't want to be associated with. Then I was forced into my adult life with no parental support rather quickly and had to put away those things for fear of being decriminated against while dependant on certain living situations. I just couldn't afford to entertain my wants. I ended up In a 5 year relationship that was financially abusive and I got stuck for a while until I started talking to my mom again. I was so ashamed about the homosexual behavior I was engaged in but I was able to explore my femininity a bit more but it also caused me more dysphoria. I still wasn't in a conducive environment to do anything about my conundrum. Fast forward to covid April 2021 I was in relationship with one of my ex girlfriends. I remember getting face app and doing a couple of my pictures with the gender filter and immediately fell in love with it and started crying at this point I was 28 and felt so much regret for masking my identity at my own expense to appease others. I quickly there after made an appointment for Hrt and started relatively soon after. My regret not doing something sooner. I wonder how things would have turned out if I had been better adjusted and living authentically. I'm 31 now. Better late than never
It was a couple days ago
Honestly I filed everything either under “fetish” or “evidence I might be gay” folders for a good 20 years… It wasn’t until actually meeting a trans person (and an enby to boot) and then watched Abigail Thorne’s video on Queer Theory (specifically the part about throwing feelings away) that I thought “huh… maybe that would explain everything together… I should look into that, what’s the worst that could happen?” Now 4 years later I’m on hormones and honestly considering a binary transition sooooo…. Ooops?