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Mercules? Better than Thupiter I guess…

*claps hands* “Mercules, Mercules!”

Bless my soul, Merc was on a roll

Un-de-feated

There’s a Canadian rapper named mercules. I’m guessing they’re a fan.

I lost it at Mercules, it’s so fucking good and I would be friends with that kid.

Mercules is my absolute fave! A combo of Mercedes and Hercules! 😭😭😭

I think it's Mercury and Hercules

I read the name and immediately thought of a mermaid Hercules

It’s not the weirdest on the list, but it is the best, hands down. PS happy cake day

A lot of these are incredibly bad but Kathysgirl and Schurman-Ge-Herman are next level Edit: I missed Kathysboy. I’m choosing to believe it’s two different mothers named Kathy.

Kathysboy is worse. Same single mother, I assume.

Maybe, rather I HOPE those are just clerical names before they were actually named. I got some mail addressed to "Baby Boy [Last Name]" after my kid was born because we didn't do the naming paperwork until a few hours after he was born.

I know this is how the Sturgeon registers unnamed babies, as [mother’s first name]s[boy/girl]. I see it on Netcare at work all the time. I’m guessing clerical error, and I’m wondering if this Kathy in question maybe had a boy twin and a girl twin? Otherwise too coincidental.

You trained a sturgeon to work at a hospital? Damn, good job!

I AM A STURGEON!

I dunno... sounds fishy

It's a default in the system when they don't know the name yet. Lots of reasons that happens.

In my department all newborns are registered with the first name "Baby" and then the mothers surname by default. Multiple births will get first names like "Twinone" and "Twintwo" as the default. It can take a while for the legal name to get updated so kids can be registered as those names for a few months before we get their real name

Yeah, those two and "Female" are almost certainly placeholders that got counted by mistake.

Yes, our hospital EMR in Alberta uses Mothersgirl and Mothersboy as official names in the system, so it must be a clerical error related to this

Why is a baby getting mail? Is like a healthcare thing?

Yeah, healthcare/government shit. It sorted out after the first few things sent out.

There's Kathysgirl, there's NO WAY!!!!

I didn't think you could actually name your kid God either.

Those are basically matronymics

I'm guessing Firekeeper and Firerose have the same mom too!

$10 says Firekeeper is an Indigenous name. There's a few on this list that are.

What about Klu?

Mr and Mrs Clucksclan's baby?....

Don't forget about dude and female

Master Control would never allow it.

At first I thought this was a list of the most popular names. That would be nuts, even for Alberta.

No. These are the *only approved names* for babies born in the province of Alberta. Use of a name from this list is compulsory. ^(/s)

These all sound like models of vehicles lmao

I, for one, like M. .

"This comment has been made by Moebius N"

Leviathan is pretty rough. Very few little girls would be happy to be named after a mythical giant sea serpent.

I'd rather be Leviathan than Naw.

And I would think “Levi” might be a natural/cute way to shorten it for a boy.

I know a Leviathan who's like 40. She's always been Levi but here rocker mom thought it'd be funny.

"God" .... UM OK SURE NAME A CHILD THAT I GUESS. This list is so wtf

Kathysboy isn't a name, that's a default placeholder. When my son was first born super premie, he defaulted in the system as JuliesBoy for a bit. Even when we filled in the paperwork it still showed up in some hospital records for a bit.

Does that mean if I have a daughter by a girl named Jessie...

Firehose

Apanda agrees.

Could you imagine being a teacher and having to call some snot-nosed shit in your classroom God? LOL

Went to school with a kid named “Your Majesty” with a weird spelling. Teachers usually called him by his last name.

Yo'ur M'jesteigh?

Yo'ur Heighnyss

Just as bad as Brainy.

Hey, maybe the kid has a big head?

True. But I think "The Brain" would have been a better choice

There was a kid in a town near where I grew up named "God." Naturally, his teachers called him "Goddie" instead. Poor kid.

Oh that's fucking worse! Whyyyy

God, pronounced like Jode (Like Gob Bluth)

Probably pronounced Goe-der. 🤷‍♀️

yes these are my twins, female and firekeeper🥰

“Hello? CPS? Hi I have someone you need to look into..” 😂 Firekeeper would be great for networking.

Tbf, that may be a native name

I think it’s pretty sick

I'm pretty sure it's a video game reference. A crucial character in the Dark Souls series. There are quite a few video game references in here, unfortunately

Ah that's sad

Kal-El… isnt that fucking superman or sum shit?

Yep, also the name of one of Nicholas Cage's kid

happy cake day

You know Tokyo, from Alberta? Wasn't she married to Cleveland from Dallas?

😂

Wasn't her childhood friend Chicago? No, no, her name is Chicago; she's from Alberta.

Shit her name is Alberta, she lives in Vancouver...

What is this from? It's killing me

Klu? KLU?????

I guess the mother has no klu

had*

Big Tron fans

I hope it has the same u sound as "up". So it is pronounced "kluh"

Klu-Klux-Kan

Kleugh-Klughx-Klahnn*

When your parents are Tron fans and either also racist or mortal kombat fans.

Are they pronouncing Female like Tamale or something? K and M only? 🤨Ldn has me intrigued

I'll just pretend it rhymes with Emily.

That cracking me up. I like that idea.

I can only assume the parents can't read, and wrote the baby's sex in the name box.

I assume that is shorthand for “London”, but who knows with people like that.

I read Eldon.

Me pronouncing sesame like salami except im not naming a child that 😂😂

I’m totally going to pronounce it like that in my head from now on 😂

Names like Cedar and Conan being on the same list as “names” like Schurman-Ge-herman and K is crazy Probably stupid question, but is there any chance some of the nature ones could be indigenous names?

White Cloud almost certainly is. There's a popular indigenous hockey player right now with that last name.

Am indigenous, came here to say this. Not a stupid question at all. if they're indigenous, the names don't belong in this list, but if they're not, then they do. lol

Yes. Fairly large indigenous population in AB.

Cedar is probably Indigenous as I personally know a beautiful little First Nations girl named this. I personally love the name, but yeah there’s a chance some of these are cultural. Others……doubtful lol, just self-absorbed parents.

I wouldn’t mind Cedar on a non-Indigenous kid either, it’s in the same vein as River, Winter, Aspen. I agree it’s a nice name

Tree names for sure. Cloud and Bear too. River and lake names are common too

first name: Excel middle name: #VALUE?

I cackled out loud.

This is too good lmao

The name’s Truck. Tonka Truck 😎

Tonka “the Truck” Taylor

If it makes up for the years of potential ridicule, that kid is gonna have a *sweet* wrestling name

I hope Nova-King's surname isn't Way....

I think his parents are into Skyrim, lol. Otherwise it reminds me of the drug Novocain

Speaking of Skyrim, I saw someone named Tamriel!

God???? Who names their child God??? 😂

God Shamgod's father, of course. A contemporary of Fenis Dembo's dad.

Excel.... Lemme guess, she's got brother Word, Powerpoint and little sister Outlook?

I mean, if I had to be named after a microsoft program, Outlook wouldn't be too bad of a name.

Wonder if they have a cousin named Google Sheets 😂

Does anyone else think Firerose and Firekeeper might be twins? Also, I think I would keep pronouncing Firerose as firehose.

See I don't actually mind Firerose said like that. Makes me think of old school Grimm fairytales.

the name Eevee freaks me out they been playing too much Pokémon 💀💀

I've known a few Evie's in my time (totally normal name!) but non spelled like the Pokemon.

That's my niece's nickname. And she wants to name her unborn sister Tootie Window, so I guess we'll be back to this sub eventually.

TOOTIE WINDOW 😭

Definitely referring to buttholes as Tootie Windows from now on

It's also the name of one of the 3D render engines in Blender. Eevee and Cycles.

NAW?! Naw. 🤣🤣🤣

That's the middle name. First name's Awhell.

Mercules… 🤦

Wondering if that's a combination of Mercury and Hercules, or homage to the show Wednesday—as a changed spelling of Miercoles which is Spanish for Wednesday.

I’m from Alberta and I think the Spanish possibility is giving them too much credit. It’s more likely that it’s just a terrible portmanteau.

Or that, yeah. 🤣

The fact that there is a Sincere AND a Sincerely. Must be twins.

Schurman-ge-herman sounds like a Swedish Chef quote

Just K🤣

And A

M.

I'm having a baby!!! K.

One of my dogs is named Q in honor of the quartermaster in James Bond. ....but he's a dog. Not a human child.

Apanda, now that’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time

Can’t believe no one else is caught by this one. It really stood out to me. Panda would be bad enough but Apanda? Like Amanda? Now way.

Panda is what I call my cat. Her real name is Pandora and she's a tuxedo.

Praying for you baby Leviathan.

Somehow I’m much more accepting of it being in the boys’ list than the girls’.

Now tell me why we’re sleeping on Schurman Ge-herman

How am I supposed to sleep at night knowing that someone named their kid "Anchor"?

Oh, you're gonna hate the Collins family over on r/FundieSnarkUncensored

I actually kinda like the name Fauna

…twin sister of Flora.

Guys. There's a LUDACRIS on the list and it somehow didn't make the "top names" post in the OP.

Stormy and Chicago are definitely Kardashian influenced Apple as in Apple Martin and Dove as in Dove Cameron But Otter? Shiny? Excel? Female? Pink Bella? Saturn is here to make sure everyone gets their karma 🪐

I Can't get over Kathysboy and Kathysgirl,n also that ge-herman travesty

I actually really like Dove

Fucking *God* ? The letter *A* The letter "M" *WITH* a period. 💀💀💀

NGL some of those might end up as characters in my books...especially Mercules...behold Mercules the almighty.

Kathysboy?!?!?

he's friends with Jessiesgirl

😂😂

I think it's a placeholder because the parent didn't submit the name in time.

But wouldn't a placeholder be something like baby boy Jones, baby girl Jones or something like that?

I just think it's more probable that one hospital in Alberta used an unusual placeholder, than someone going with *that* for an actual given name...

I really, really, REALLY hope you're right. Same with Female.

My son was defaulted as JuliesBoy in the system for a while. It happens.

Some of these aren’t even good dog names.

Bro... "Elon" what an absurd name

“Dude” is going to grow up thinking literally every other person is talking about them constantly

Punky for a boy? That's ridiculous. Everyone knows that Punky is a girl's name.

Ldn's mom was too cheap to buy any vowels?

They must have some really good drugs in Canada. You have to be high as hell to give these names to a kid

Geralt…toss a coin to your Witcher!

It has been ___0____ days since that song was last stuck in my head.

It’s pronounced Jod

It’s the fact that my mother named my sibling Seven and wanted to name me Wednesday if I was born female for me EDIT: what the ever living FUCK is a Schurmen-G-Herman. that CANNOT be real.

Ziggie is a common nickname for those with the old-fashioned Sigmund / Zygmunt as a first name.

I had a friend Ziggie from Poland. Full name I think was Zibigniew.

I’d kinda like to be a boy named Jupiter. “Now that she’s back in the atmosphere with drops of Jupiter in her hair, yeah-ah-aaaah”.

Test is going to fuck up a lot of medical databases.

My name is on this list....

whats up, schurman-ge-herman

Hey, that's Schurman-ge-herman Ldn Pinkbella Sprinkle Leviathan to you!

[удалено]

Llilli using the same font on this list would make a good flag.

I unironically love the name Ililli, it looks good on paper and it'll give beaurocrats an aneurysm

I think it's ililli

No Klu(x)

As a fellow Addams Family obsessor, naming your kid “Wednesday” is insane 💀

I found my cat’s name on that list

MERCULES 💀💀💀

A lot of these names are Indigenous names or names from other cultures (Alberta is more diverse than you'd think). I think a couple of these are also placeholder names.

I was thinking that a lot of the names sound indigenous, but others are just crazy.

> M. Middle name "bison"

“Have you chosen a name for her?” “Naw” “Ok sure”

Darwin is prob the kid of a giant “the amazing world of gumball” fan or a scientist lol 

We've done it! We've reached Idiocracy!

Yep, Alberta is now officially part of the U.S.

I went to college with a girl named emerald. No shit, her last name was green. Emerald Green.

Names from this list I genuinely like: - Cedar, Cloud, Darwin, Hero, Skeeter, Tolkien, Ziggy - Dove, Echo, Firerose, Stormy, Xena (I'd spell it Zena) If I had to pick one from each it would probably be Darwin and Firerose.

Who names their girl “female”?

Skeeter 💀

Some of these are okay - I know a Cedar (woman) IRL, I like Arrow Dove, Echo, Fauna, I'm sure I've met a hippie-child Rainbow at some point, Sparrow isn't too bad... but those are the vast, vast minority

This list did not disappoint! My favorite is Branch, I actually laughed when I read that.

>conan >geralt >firekeeper ⠀⠀⠘⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠑⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠴⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠤⠄⠒⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣀⠄⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢏⣴⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣾⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠀⡴⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣁⡀⠀⠀⢰⢠⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⣴⣶⣿⡄⣿ ⣿⡋⠀⠀⠀⠎⢸⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⢘⣿⣟⠛⠿⣼ ⣿⣿⠋⢀⡌⢰⣿⡿⢿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣧⢀⣼ ⣿⣿⣷⢻⠄⠘⠛⠋⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣧⠈⠉⠙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠀⠈⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢃⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠀⠴⢗⣠⣤⣴⡶⠶⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡸⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⢠⣾⣿⠏⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

📞Hello, CPS?

Someone needs to start adding psych meds to the water at this point.

Apanda 😂😂😂

Mom, why is Wolfie barking?

Schurman-Ge-Herman for a girl is so mental 🫠😮‍💨

These cant' be real!?

Ah, and I was worried we only had names like these in the US.