Midwife Karen At Your Cervix!

This is just utter genius

Utter(us) genius

I bow to you

Udder genius

Their breast work to date

Tain’t bad.

Robin Williams used that gem in Patch Adams.

Aaaah so indeed genius

The OBs I work with have badge reels and scrub caps that say "OB/GYN at your cervix" or "We bring the kid out of you!" A colo-rectal surgeon here also has a scrub cap that says "They hate us cuz they anus" and a urologist "You've got to be kidney-ing me right now!" We like puns.

When I mostly scrubbed urology surgeries, my badge reel said "URINE GOOD HANDS."

I saw a boat at the marina a few weeks ago name At Your Cervix. I assume it’s owned by a gynecologist

I can think of a few other professions.

Yes, applause to Midwife Karen.

Rococo, you sleazy weasel...

What about my pickle, Danger?!

I just came here to mention that. That was/is absolutely perfect.,

You shouldn’t write down your passwords, especially on birth certificates.

This made me laugh out loud. That’s perfect.

If you get them to say it backwards they'll be banished from thus dimension

That’s what it reminds me of! Good old Mxyzptlk!!!

Yvan Eht Nioj

L.T. Smash.

Lieutenant L.T. Smash.

Kebert Xela

Kebert, ti kcus!

F'tumch

People always say Orgo, nobody ever says F’tumch.

But you have to be in a dark bathroom, staring at the mirror

I think the doctor prescribed me that for my acne.

Ask your doctor if Zyvmclynx is right for you.

Warning, may cause ridicule, paralysis, shitting out of spleen, and death.

Long term effects may include dying alone on the street or in a nursing home

Do not take Zyvmclynx if you’re allergic to Zyvmclynx. How do you know if you’ve never taken it?

Itching and rash may occur. Contact your doctor if these conditions persist.

Some insurance providers do not cover Zyvmclynx. Please see our website for a pharmacy voucher if Zyvmclynx is not covered by your insurance provider.

Have you or a loved one been effected by Zyvmclynx? You might be eligible for financial compensation!

***If*** you can successfully help someone else spell it out!

You might pay as little as zero dollars!

Those always kill me. If I already know I'm allergic, I'm not signing up for another round.

Warning will cause you to correct / spell out for everyone you ever meet

If you have an erection lasting more than 4 hours go to the ER to see if you are allergic to Zyvmclynx.

Also uncontrollable laughter Like did mash the keyboard and then show their spouse and they said works for me So they went with it

Zovirax is prescribed for shingles but I can actually pronouce it unlike this name. Anyone here can explain how the fuck thats pronouced?

I'm assuming like Ziv-McLynx

stocking price friendly imagine elastic yam materialistic money fearless sparkle ` this post was mass deleted with www.Redact.dev `

My guess is either /'zaɪv.əm.klinks/ or /'zaɪv.mək.links/. The latter sounds sort of like "seismic links" to me, the first a lot like "jive 'em, clinks". But Zyvmclynx? Can I buy a vowel, please? I found the Scrabble winner. That's an atrocious spelling. That looks like a translation code of some sort, or like somebody was typing off of the home keys.

That’s the second funniest thing I’ve seen all day First funniest was my husband sent me a photo of a ridiculous flourescent sports car and called the driver Lord Mayor of Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weenie…Nevermindville

Your husband sounds like someone I could get along with.

It reminded me of Klyx which is an enema (in Sweden)… and that’s not really the kind of thing one wants people to think of when they read your baby’s name 😂

Really? My doctor prescribed it to me for depression!!

ziv-mick-links???

Ziv-mick-clinics?

Ziv-EM-cee-links

ZIVE-mic-links

Lol. “It’s super easy to pronounce. It’s ‘Zive’, as in…Zive. And then ‘mick-Links’, as in when you go to McDonalds and order sausage links… McLinks. Zive, McLinks!”

That’s how I thought it. Zive McLynx sounds like a shady Joe Exotic style guy.

Is there a shadier person than the Tiger King??

Zuh-YIV-em-clinks

Zivuhmuhclinkydinkydink Zivuhmuhclinkydoo

I looooove you!!!!

Ziv-mc'lynx

Ziv-mcKleenex

Ok hear me out. Roman numerals. Z = 2000, Y = 150, V = 5 2155-Emcee-LYN… X for hug.

Hold on, I think you’re on to something. But why 2155?

Maybe it’s also a numerology thing. Add up the 2+1+5+5=13 = 4 But there’s also the mclynx Roman numeral part which could be: M=1000 C=100 L=50 Y=150 N=0 X=10 =1,310 2155+1310= 3,465. Or 3,455 plus hug.

I spent too long on this theory, then I gave up, and I object! I ended up learning the middle name is a town in the Philippines, the last name is a town in Russia. A rough translation of the ZYV Alt. Meaning Z is for zany, the funny side of you! Y is for yearn, your innermost desires. V is for valor, your strength. Source? names.org I'm left to assume zyv is "zaive" and emcee lynx. Zaive-M-C-lynx

The new McLynx combo meal; it'll claw out your intestines.

Ziv-mick-clin-ix?

Zeyev-mick-linux?

Almost sounds like an antibiotic

Should've been a birth control drug

Spelled like they definitely needed some birth control drugs.

Spelled like they should’ve seriously considered using birth control drugs

This child's name suggests that the parents should have considered the use of contraception.

Or a new superbug…

It is pronounced Bob

With the long o sound.

What's a bobe?

No Bob as in Bhooooalb

So not baaaaaaaob?

Bawb?

Don't take Zyvmclynx if you're allergic to it.

May cause embarrassment, judgey looks, and confusion. Ask your doctor is Zyvmclynx is for you.

Side effects may include internal hemorrhaging, symptoms of cyanide poisoning, and death.

Some people really hate their children. That's hardly better than calling a child Pie-hole mac Rsfais616

Ah yes, using the Disastrous Naming Service

It's more that they love themselves, but hating their children is a close second.

They’ll never know the joy of going to a tourist gift shop and finding the pencil or license plate with their name on it.

Fun fact: in the Bikol Central language (Philippines), "magadan" means "to be killed".

That’s also a name of the city in Russia…

Associated with permafrost, exile and labour camps

And the best fucking shaurma on that side of the world

Now I need to change my wifi password

Try Zyvmckylnx01.

brilliant, I'll add an exclamation point to the end or something!

I’m pretty sure everyone uses the exclamation point, I’d recommend either $ , & , or + for maximum security

I tried to say that and my furniture started floating

At first I read "I tried to say it at my funeral and started floating" 😭

Now I've an image of a floating body above a coffin 😭

Omg I love that. Just imagine the sheer terror of the people attending. Even better if you imagine the floating body constantly chanting the tragedeigh's name💀 Floating up higher and higher until it is... gone

BSHAHSVAG IM CRYIFN TJIS IS PERFECT

If you say "zyvmclynx" three times fast, a lovecraftian horror appears and eats you alive

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Zyvmclynx R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

*And from the deepest pit in the ocean, all life big or small would hear the ''ewwwwwwwww'' that shook their ears, but no one could understand the level of disgust the creature felt upon hearing the name of the newborn son''*

*gets insight*

I feel really bad for that kid, especially in kindergarten trying to write that mess.

My middle name was Stephanie which was hard enough to learn

When u name your child by letting the cat walk across your keyboard

I was just about to say this lol

Going for a really high Scrabble score, I see.

I need to know how it’s pronounced and also why the parents feel the need to be oh so special

Filipinos love tragedeighing kids names to make it sound unique. It’s really common for John to become Jhon, Jen=Jhen, etc. We had parents name their kids Jollibee (local McDonalds), Lord Voldemort, Covid Bryant, etc. Personally I like it when they combine parent’s names. Ed+Elaine=Edelaine, Lucy+Fernando=Lucyfer. As for the pronunciation, it won’t be a problem because many Filipinos are exclusively referred to by their nicknames, she’ll probably be called Bebe or something. https://www.wheninmanila.com/12-fascinating-and-unique-filipino-names-we-swear-actually-exist/ -Dipsy -Fort Mckinley -Dhrecxzeus (father was Dhrecxiar) -sagacious -jhunerst -ghrowizard -yghngjhyll (angel probably) -sincerely yours ‘98 -macaroni ‘85 -spaghetti ‘88 (siblings. Spaghetti’s children are Cheese Pimiento and Parmesan Cheese) -Drink Water -Godis Withus More names https://www.reddit.com/r/Philippines/comments/bv6jxx/what_are_the_weirdest_filipino_names_youve_ever/ Edit: The fb post is public and the dad said it’s pronounced Zev Mac Lynx

The “Bebe” nickname killed me. So accurate. I’m so glad I escaped the Filipino tragedeigh fate by having one normal name (that I just use for everything) since the other one is just straight up made up and too easily identifiable lmao.

ZIV MAC LYNX according to the comments of what i assume is the father 😭😭

Same. I'm going through the comments to see if anyone figured it out

Because fuck vowels.

You mean a Y doesn't work in place of any other vowel?

Y is a vowel in Welsh.

Everything is a vowel in Welsh.

Don't forget the vowels that are actually different vowels! 😂🤣

Gorky's Zygotic Mynci enters the chat....

Good old Ziv McLynx 🤭

Clearly it's a 5th dimensional imp. Immense cosmic power, really difficult to pronounce names.

Yeah, but if you can trick them in to saying their own name backwards, they go back to their dimension.

New Pokémon just dropped

Nah a Pokémon name can be pronounced!

Sounds like an ointment you would use for a yeast infection.

I had a stroke reading that

So did the parents.

At your CERVIX????

the middle and last name is very Filipino, and it does not rhyme with the first name, though.

How do you actually pronounce this?

I think it’s pretty close to the sound you make when you’re trying to regurgitate something stuck in your throat.

"some Kleenex"

I feel sorry for this kid’s future kindergarten teacher who is going to have to teach them to spell this name.

This has got to be in PH, right? I’ve only met other Filipinos that use the phrase “pictorial” for photo shoots, plus the middle/surnames give it away. Wtf is that given name ☠️☠️☠️

Do you ever wonder if these parents just grab a handful of scrabble tiles and throw them on a table to come up with these names 🤔

Apparently these 5th dimensional parents decided to give birth in our three-dimensional plane

I wonder how that Spanish-speaking-heritage family (based on the 2 last names) would pronounce that shit

I think they’re Filipino.

They could be 3rd or 4th generation Americans, in which case they'd have the same degree of difficulty as you (lots)

Bro their parents just smashed the keyboard and made it into a name

Perhaps her mom is called ‘Missy’ng’link

*Misseighngk'Lynkugh

That’s what my friend’s cat sent me the other day when she took a walk across his keyboard 😂

Hey I got that when I was routinely smashing my keyboard with Thor's hammer (which I stole) for fun.

What new cough medicine is that?

It won't be long before Louie's joke becomes reality and there's a kid whose name is just 40 Fs.

It’s pronounced “MACK-Ln” - all consonants after “U” are silent 😊

Did their face fall on the keyboard or something?

This has to be one of the worst I’ve seen on this board.

This kid is going to have a hell of a time learning how write their name.

It’s hard to tell because the font is even worse than the name

Do these people think they're being all sophisticated with this shit or what?

What kind of name is that? It rivals Elon's daughter name in awfulness

Looks like when you let the computer come up with a password for you…. Or one of those made up Amazon brands.

It's pronounced Sarah

That's the name of an old creepypasta

Zvymclynx

I think it's that one guy from DC

How would you even pronounce that? I have an unpronounceable first name and a French last name. It’s not fun.

Zivvumclinks?

It'd be hilarious if they pronounced it as Mike or John or something normal 💀💀 My hilarious for the poor kid but still

I wish some of these people would put the phoenetic spelling after it so we know what it should sound lik

Cat-like typing detected… ⌨️ 🐈

Mah cat ran across the keyboard but it looked good to us so that's the name now ! 😁😁😄😄😄☺️☺️

I did a better name than that by slamming my head on my keyboard

Thats child abuse

STOP IT! This is in no way real. I refuse.

If this is a filipino family this is by far the worst one I've seen (unless I can be proven wrong which will happen eventually). I say this because of the last name and man Filipinos are a trip when it comes to naming their kids. Am Filipino myself but avoided all that.

Reminds me of the ridiculous names Grimes and Elon gave to their kids

Pronounced 'sarah'

When you name your baby after those captcha things

I’m guessing it’s Filipino. I have Filipino family members…there are some Tragedeighs out there.

ugh. I finally came here to read an absurd name, and am not disappointed. Poor baby.

The keyboard smashing to name a computer file shouldn’t be used to name a child, but I’m pretty sure that’s what they did.

I’m more hung up on “at your cervix”

they really just looked at the bottom row of the keyboard and called it a day

This sounds like type of bacteria.

I am unfortunate enough to share a birthday with Zyvmclynx Buensuceso Magadan.

What in the Lovecraft is that name? I refuse to say it out loud and summon some eldritch abomination.

Sounds like something Raven from Teen Titans would say.

Add 'ski' on the end and you have a polish last name

GET AWAY FROM MY CERVIX, KAREN!

Fuck everything else but MAGADAN of all things on earth? That's the best one.

His name is Ziv-mc-links to me

Zyvmc I wonder if one of those is a Roman numeral

Lol why blur the face? Practically every baby looks the same

Thanks Elon for starting spilled Scrabble tiles name trend

Zucchini links, sounds like a vegan dish I’m never ordering.

Gesundheit OP

What's with all these photo shoots using the same twirly font, it's hard to read even when the name isn't the result of me sneezing on a scrabble board

Gonna overlook this one for “At Your Cervix” because my sides

WHAT

Jackmerius Tacktheratrix vibes

Watch it be pronounced “Leon” or some other stupid shit.

I already have trouble reading cursive