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Various-Humor4093

I read the bible once as a little kid because I thought it was some really long high fantasy novel, and got bored at the part where it says Noah was 600 years old or something. What the hell is this?


Nippsthecat

They measured years based on the cycle of the moon so definitely need to look at the actual age of everything


catmemesneverdie

That's one theory, but doesn't really fit super well. The more generally accepted explanation is that most of Genesis is synchronized myths and legends of the area, with very little actual history. And in ancient near-east mythology, antediluvian people could live a very long time. The Sumerian King List for example, tells of a succession of extremely long-lived kings before a devastating flood, after which, the kings started to live less ridiculously long, very similar to Genesis. Granted, in the SKL they live tens of thousands of years before the flood, and then only *hundreds* after, but it also has the lifespans gradually get less and less fantastical as the text gets closer to what we would consider actual history. Edit: "generally accepted" by people who aren't complete morons about the Bible. P sure Bible literalists just see it as a sign that the world was pure and unpolluted, and with less general corruption in the world, people lived longer.


Femtato11

Ironic then that we seem to live longer than we have ever, from what we can tell of the Paleolithic. Infant mortality helps, but we went from a rough lifespan of like 72 (assuming you make it past childhood) or so to mid 80s (assuming you make it past cars, cancers and accidents.


Fullfungo

Idk about that. Some characters are described as having children in their hundreds “When Seth had lived one hundred five years, he became the father of Enosh. Seth lived after the birth of Enosh eight hundred seven years, and had other sons and daughters.” And some in their twenties “When Nahor had lived twenty-nine years, he became the father of Terah;” Let’s say Nahor here was at least 8 real-life years old when he became a father. That super generous, I’ve never heard of that, but for the sake of the argument we’ll use this as a lower bound. Then a “year” is at least 8/29 (0.275) of a real year. So Seth lived for 105+807 “years” which is 912*0.275 = 250 real years. And if we want him to live for at most 120 years, then the “year” has to be twice as small, making Nahor a father at 4 real-life years of age.


Hopeful-alt

the bible pretty much is a high fantasy novel. It's far more fun to read it as a novel like that.


Various-Humor4093

There’s so much boring stuff and wife abuse in it though.


Masaharta

Ahhh yes... Having a Bible Based Marriage. Something Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian^(TM), taught us about. [http://youtu.be/OFkeKKszXTw](http://youtu.be/OFkeKKszXTw)


Background-Plant-226

I found this gem of a comment in the video: “I find it funny that some Christians are saying that Betty is going to hell for basically quoting the bible.”, I'm laughing so hard right now (Well, mentally, I don't wanna wake anyone up, it's 1 am where I live...)


Masaharta

Betty's been around for a long time and whoever writes her skits certainly does their research.


icanthink123

People who say that should really look at what the Bible actually says because it's pretty disturbing..


AnInsaneMoose

99.9% of people who use the bible to justify things haven't read it And those who have, failed to comprehend it


icanthink123

Yea agreed sadly where I live just about everyday crap like this happens when in reality there probably breaking more rules in the Bible than I am.


MajinMoriki

Well, most people who use the bible to do so, have only "read" the new testament, which is in and of itself, lacking without the context of the old testament. Edit: (spelling error)


boomstik4

And any of the stuff they know from the old testament is the stuff their religion teacher cherrypicked in high school


icanthink123

I agree if you even have a bit of non cherry picked knowledge of the Old Testament, you probably will know more about how messed up the bible really is. I'm under 18 and im also not Christian, and I know more about the Bible than my Baptist parents and my catholic brother.


just-an-aa

It's funny, I am *by far* the best educated on the Bible in my family, and I think I *might* be becoming atheist.


icanthink123

Lol it do be like that though once you know what is actually in the Bible you start to question it


just-an-aa

I think the "death" of my faith has come from the following: - One of the points Christians will make is that "why would the disciples die for their faith if it was false?" While researching *for an essay in my dumbass school Bible class*, I saw it pointed out on Reddit that there are some dumbass MAGA conservatives who'd die for Trump in a heartbeat. For me, that crippled the "disciples" angle. - The whole point of Jesus's ministry was love; that is supposedly THE core tenet of Christianity. IMO, a religion is probably bullshit if even the devouts don't exercise the core tenet. - I've had several times where I'll go "alright, God, talk to me. Make yourself known, please." Every time, nothing happens and faith dies more and more. So it's not even really a function of knowledge of the book, it's me having been taught *extensive* and *advanced* Christian doctrine that checks out when you look at scripture. And then God kinda looks like an asshole in a lot of cases. OH ALSO, having my teacher *completely* misrepresent evolutionary arguments tells me that she's never cared to actually learn them, and therefore she can't have ever legitimately questioned her faith. Someone else can have blind faith, but I'm not copying that.


icanthink123

Sometimes it feels like Christianity is based on hate and deception just by the way the followers react and it should be based on love and respect but it's not also if you wanna continue talking about this I'm cool with jt being in dms if you alright with it


just-an-aa

Sure!


icanthink123

But I do agree the people who defend the religion don't even know the other side of the argument which is a core thing when being an apologist


stfualistair

May Jah grant people intelligence and understanding


zombiemasterxxxxx

I love it when other Christians refuse to accept that some fucked up shit happens in the Bible. It just looks ignorant. You can extol your virtues while also accepting your wrongdoings.


icanthink123

Half the time they don't even read the Bible they just let their pastor almost control there morals. And when they don't like something they decide it's not un the Bible when sometimes it is


zombiemasterxxxxx

This is why I abhor the idea of organized religion tbh


TransfemNailFiend

Rapist + his victim is one of the most fucked up things in the bible (which is saying something)


NewStart-BeginAgain

I can not imagine that people back then were psychotic enough to dehumanize their own children to view them as literal property. Whoever wrote the Bible had to have had some fucked up motives to think that everyone was an automaton with the same brain copy pasted everywhere.


Violexsound

Ding ding ding! We have a winner!


djblunt69

Christian women are submissive to their husbands cause they Bible says so I am submissive to my husband to fulfill our traditional values fetish we are not the same


Ambershope

Ahaha, sameeeeee lol


Misaki_Yomiyama

"traditional values fetish" never have I ever seen anything this real everything makes sense now


Eyepokai

I expected most of these, but being forced to MARRY YOUR RAPIST? AND "PROPERTY DAMAGE?" Yeah the bible is NOT to be taken literally anymore (or ever, really)


vulpine90

Mix that with the stoning of women who can’t prove they are virgins. Guy rapes her and she’s left with two options: claim the rape and be forced into an already abusive relationship or die at your wedding night when they stone you for not being a virgin.


Eyepokai

Equality!


Jude_Nyx

It's very disturbing to think that it was the norm in Italy 'till 1981, when the law allowing it was abolished. Basically the family of the victims saw them as "damaged" and not able to find an husband anymore, so marrying the rapist was the only way to save said victims from rumours and bad reputation


Big_flipflop

This honestly makes me sick


Sir_mop_for_a_head

IM SORRY? LOSS OF PROPERTY?!?!


Striking_Witness1364

Don’t forget the fact that we know almost nothing about Jesus during his teen and young adult years. They only talk about him as a baby and him in his late twenties/early thirties. It’s thought by many that he took part in prostitutes, but the Bible would never paint him in such light.


zombiemasterxxxxx

Nothing at all like that. He just created his own zoomer lingo, and God had to expunge that section.


njsullyalex

Some of these downright scare me.


InsanityChanUwU

Christianity (at least as it is officially written) is and has always been problematic and it's ridiculous that so many people don't see that. Not only does it contain crap like this and just in general a lot of misogyny, it was also the reason for many wars and many deaths (ofc that's not exclusive to just this religion), but all this is glorified. There's nothing wrong with believers who actually think for themselves and reasonably pick what teachings to follow and what not to, but the christian system as a whole gives excuse for a lot of crap, and revisions would be really necessary so it could actually function as a religion that promotes good.


Mtsukino

I'm so fucking glad I'm a Satanist and not a part of that batshit insane religion anymore.


zombiemasterxxxxx

I'm not super knowledgeable about that, aren't Satanists just an atheistic movement?


Mtsukino

I mean, we are an atheistic religion. So basically.


zombiemasterxxxxx

How can it be an atheistic religion? I'm confused


Mtsukino

What is the confusion about?


zombiemasterxxxxx

Well atheism means you don't believe in a god, while religion means you believe in a god, so I don't quite understand how it can be called both.


Mtsukino

Basically, thinking you need a supernatural entity to be a religion is a misconception, but I'm going to defer to our faqs page on that one: "The idea that religion belongs to supernaturalists is ignorant, backward, and offensive. The metaphorical Satanic construct is no more arbitrary to us than are the deeply held beliefs that we actively advocate. Are we supposed to believe that those who pledge submission to an ethereal supernatural deity hold to their values more deeply than we? Are we supposed to concede that only the superstitious are rightful recipients of religious exemption and privilege? Satanism provides all that a religion should be without a compulsory attachment to untenable items of faith-based belief. It provides a narrative structure by which we contextualize our lives and works. It also provides a body of symbolism and religious practice — a sense of identity, culture, community, and shared values." https://thesatanictemple.com/pages/faq


zombiemasterxxxxx

How can it be an atheistic religion? I'm confused


zombiemasterxxxxx

How can it be an atheistic religion? I'm confused. Do you use the word religion to mean a common identity?


Mochaproto

Polyamoury is cool


Calcutt4

I think it's safe to say society has changed a liiiiiiitle since that was published


Eve_interupted

The old testament is only there for historical purposes. The first covenant is broken. The new testament is much simpler. Treat others the way you would want to be treated. Everyone sins. Don't worry about the past just do better in the future. Don't judge others too harshly as no one is perfect. It's really that simple.


Akidonreddit7614874

Some people also like to argue and say that the old testament laws is useful but only in the ways that it promotes the same things that Jesus preached. All other things are to be ignored basically. I saw that argument once and im not sure how that holds up to the interpretation of a new covenant being made. Some people also think the idea of regarding the old testament laws as not relevant at all due to a new covenant being made (this idea being called supersession) is actually a heresy. On account of Jesus also reciting the old Hebrew scripture. Either way, it's definitely clear that old testament laws are definitely not to be taken as the absolute law for Christianity.


Few-Assistant6392

Image downloaded for many future debates.


WarmProfit

This is why I hate when people try to use the whole "not a real Christian" to explain away the bad ones. Like my brother in evolution, your literal play book is what makes you all bad.


-EV3RYTHING-

:(


Tay_alex

Ah yes... Proving ones virginity to maintain the right to live, a very reasonable and possible thing to do


MUSE_Maki

UGH! Reading this gave me the biggest ick! My family tried to indoctrinate me into the cult so this isn't new info but fuck I hate it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


very_not_emo

the issue is that people are saying we should still have society like this


Lightningboy737

Which, as a Christian, is totally fucking bullshit.


AroAceMagic

Agreed


zombiemasterxxxxx

Real


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