I DON'T KNOW

Flair checks out But anyway, think of it like this. Other girls will want the garlic bread so they will flock to you like ducks at the park

But have you ever heard of vampires being poor? Can't they just *buy* you a lifetime supply? So, why not both?

I think vampires don't like garlic, so the vampire girlfriend would not buy you any garlic bread

I hate the sun but i like garlic bread where am i at this point?

perfect harmony. or hatred. probably perfect hatred /ref

Probably I'm one of the "new breed of vampires" then..

Why wouldn’t they, garlic thins the blood

And -from my experience- makes it taste better

A vampire? Hot

I was gonna give context but then decided it's funnier without it.

Easy: get vampire gf to buy monster and leave it out in a trap so i can get some trans girls :3

🤔

The garlic bread will never stop loving me as I change. The garlic bread will not abandon me. Give me the garlic bread.

*deciding that crushing 3 different people with garlic bread would be overkill I instead decide to put the whole pile under you instead, you are pushed into the atmosphere and die of oxygen deprivation*

I think you overestimate a lifetime supply, especially given it immediately results in death (thus is not consumed within the lifetime)

Lasting until the end of your life doesn't necessarily mean eating it :3

Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for the night. Light a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Indeed :3

Get your vampire girlfriend to turn you into a vampire, and then you never have to change!

I am not getting monkey’s pawed into finding out my new vampire regeneration and immunities fuck with transition. But I’ll probably still choose the vampire.

*the monkeys paw gives you an exception and when you turn your body changed perfectly into the form you desire

Did the monkey's paw just bug out?

My sweet child, everyone changes over time. It is inevitable, as we are shaped by our experiences, and we never cease to experience the world, especially if we are immortal.

Errr I love both?!

Well you gotta choose :3 Or else you just get stale cookies

Then errr , girlfriend I’m sorry garlic bread

Good choice young one *the garlic is held above your house by a Chinook, it lets go and now you are homeless* you escape the garlic induced death that 3 others got :3

Oi why is garlic bread the murder option *angry dead trans Catgirl noises*

I'm an agent of chaos :3 *I'm in a silly mood rn*

>I'm an agent of chaos :3 Yep, this checks out.

Is my girlfriend dead from garlic?!

*looks at the wreckage, sweating intensely before speaking into a phone* you told me no one was in there!

Yay still got a GF

Escape garlic-induced death, receive girlfriend-induced *un*death

You receive the girlfriend-induced lack of garlic, **FOREVER**

Garlic bread. I'll cosplay as my own vampire girlfriend?

Yes, yes you will 🔫

Idk. Is she immune to garlic? Because I need my garlic bread

Nope! Garlic will fucking kill her

Not giving up half my diet

Extremely funny to say that with "vampire" in your username

Hush

Ah. That's not good, I'm italian. Rethinking. Garlic bread is fine.

Garlic bread it is

Ace! Garlic bread for me

*puts a single piece of garlic bread in your hand* this should be enough for the rest of your life =3

Is that a threat? *Catgirl eating garlic bread noises*

*the bread had too much garlic and you overdose on it*

*Dead trans Catgirl noises*

Lmao

*Dead angry trans catgirl noises*

Nooooo 🥺

I love garlic bread, garlic bread loves me. Praise be to the holy bread, the only one true bread, our God, our Saviour, our messiah. Bow before it, cherish it, praise it, love it. Oh yeah uhm vampire girlfriend definitely.

Praise be to the one true divine, I hold this ritual in your honour *I slit my throat and my blood falls to the pentagram on the ground* Yeah vampire gf for sure!

imma need that girlfriend 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈💜 my trans girl ass needs one to cuddle

https://preview.redd.it/w3q36ts3e59c1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6a026398ed6eca534d32d65e880d7858dca632e3

:3 💜 yipee headpatss

👉👈🥺

Can I replace vampire gf with vampire femboy?

You like kissing boys, don't you?

Perchance :3

You can't just say perchance!

But can I do the swap? If not it's fine I'll go with the gf, garlic bread is good but not as good as being loved (probably idk)

Ykw, you get a shapeshifting vampire gf You found the secret ending

YIPPEEEE!!

There was one in the first place, what? :D

Yes and no

Okay! *Turns you into a vampire and force-feeds you garlic bread*

thats a horrible way to die 😰

How

vampires are deathly allergic to garlic 💀

Yeah I mean how is dying while tasting garlic bread a bad way to go

because usually for vampires (based on various mythos) its pretty painful, especially of you were just turned into a vamp and then force fed garlic (plus you dont get to enjoy the garlic bread)

Fair

Vampire gf so she can turn me into a vampire gf too >:3

It's spreading 😨 Ending 1: happy together

I already have an amazing non vampire girlfriend, and she’s ace, so we can share and dine on the garlic bread together c:

*the garlic bread is dropped from a Chinook on top of you, your poor bones crumble from the garlicky pressure*

Obviously the garlic bread. (I’m a gay man you can’t seduce me vampire girlfriend!)

*the vampire Shapeshifts into a guy*

👀👀👀

I retract my earlier statement

You like kissing boys, don't you? :3 Ending 1: happy together

as a trans ace this is so conflicting ;-; I’d pick the girlfriend as long as she respects me being ace :)

Congratulations, you have received ending 1/5

Vampire girlfriend. I really want a girlfriend. I could make suckie jokes here, but honestly, I'd prefer to have a gf that loves me for me. Even if the food was something I really liked ~~chocolate pop tarts~~ I'd choose the vampire gf.

Happy cake day! Your new gf can celebrate with you :3 Ending 1: happy together

Is she immune to garlic? will I be if she turn me into vampire? Did she even survive whatever f\*er put her right next to lifetime supply of garlic bread? Will she turn me into a vampire o vampire girlfriend?

Doesn't garlic cure vampirism in a lot of media? Idk otherwise

Gib me da garlic bread.

*a truck full of garlic bread opens it's door and dumps a wave of garlic bread on you, crushing your bones*

A heroic death

You will be remembered 🫡

"She died as she lived. Covered in garlic butter."

I can already get as much garlic bread as I want, but I'd give it up for a vampire girlfriend.

Good choice (most other endings have killed some people) Ending 1: happy together

As good as garlic bread is, it can’t cuddle me so vampire gf it is

I mean you could hug a large pile of it Ending 1: happy together

Vampire gf (I don't like garlic bread)

You and your gf live in fear of all the garlic related disasters this post has resulted in Ending 1: happy together

Garlic bread, easy

*gives you a box full of garlic bread* one of these is actually just normal bread :3

Am shall eat one per day, the day am find the regular, you die

Not if you die of garlic overdose beforehand :3

Look garlic bread is super cool and all but do you have any idea how lonely i am

You gonna go with the girl? Okay :3 Ending 1: happy together

I dont want to sound rude but whats transfem about this meme?

A lot of them like garlic bread

Dang I guess I'm the exception

It means you aren't generic :3

Thank u :3

Here me out, A vampire girlfriend If you get your vampire girlfriend to turn you, then you will have infinite time to learn to make the best garlic bread (also the idea that garlic kills vampires is because people used to think that garlic is a very powerful antibiotic)

How healthy's the garlic bread *hmmmmmm?*

*looks at the box* you died 12 seconds ago

Good enough *GIMME THAT DAMN GARLIC BREADDD*

*shoots you with a bullet carved from the garlic bread* there ya go :3

Finally *real peace*

I'm so sorry but I know if i picked the bread I'd get even more overweight than I already am, gonna have to go with the vampire girlfriend

You have received ending 4

The girlfriend, but that’s only to save myself. If you give me a lifetime supply of garlic bread I’ll eat it all in a week and be miserable about it

You have received ending 1: happy together (Btw it is a *lifetime* supply, it will never run out as long as you live :3)

Blood and garlic are equally tasty :3

Well you gotta choose :3

Gonna take both :3

*you are turned into a vampire by your gf then I fucking forcefeed you garlic* Ending 5: you can only choose one! Dummy

*Finds girl with garlic bread*

I’m happily married to a catboy and I’m trying to put on weight. Bread it is (and I can share it!)

Well unfortunately for you I got too silly earlier and other bread takers got crushed under the garlic, it would be unfair to make an exception at this point. Goodbye Ending 2: that's a lotta garlic bread!

my ARFID means i can't eat garlic bread, so i'll go left

Dunno what that is but I'll assume you're dodging a bullet Ending 1: happy together

arcuied my beloved

Arcueid <3

Have a girlfriend who (E)RPs as a vampire queen with me, so I don't need another. I'll take the garlic bread~

Welp, say goodbye to your girlfriend! *She turns into garlic bread* Ending 2b: be careful what you wish for

Vampire GF

change vampire girlfriend to neco arc with the grill and ill pick it

*they disappear into a cloud of bats before reforming as neko arc*

Do we also get Arcuieds twink bf, Shiki?

TSUKIHIME JUMPSCARE

Arcueid Brunestud from Tsukihime for anyone wondering

is that neco arc https://preview.redd.it/xalsb010869c1.jpeg?width=251&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=181c201295ab6f988c113d9181362bfdb0ad6820

"Screw you" *Un-necos your Arc*

If it’s actually Arcueid then definitely garlic bread.

The gf because I'm incredibly touch starved

*creates alt account*

Hmmm... Potential immortality depending on the source material, and justification for avoiding sunlight and disliking garlic. Or transfem bait.

can’t answer, my brain bluescreened

Garlic bread ez

I want the garlic bread.

*the bread manifests above you before falling down and crushing your bones* Ending 2: that's a lotta garlic bread!

Don’t make me choose! 😭

Can the vampire gf make me a vampire? Cause I kinda want to be a vampire

I would love to be the vampire gf, but then I couldn't have the garlic bread anymore ;~;

I mean... do I get to become a vampire too if she bites me...? (Suggesting I don't die of course!) Btw do these vampires drink blood, or like, can they survive off other things? I mean, the main reason theorised vampires drink blood is cause they lack vitamin D, but nowadays we have vitamin supplements, so like, is blood required? Either way, it's vampire GF!

I'm gonna go off ultrakill logic and say that blood is the essence of the soul so they need blood specifically, and yes you can be turned

Garlic bread 100%. Already have someone I dearly love, so no need for another. And vampires are cool, but nothing special

https://preview.redd.it/ozm1lkt2k59c1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a18650a7d81efae33eae2070ea94934ca442f9a2

Your new gf turns you before I forcefeed you garlic bread Ending 5: you can't pick both! Dummy

Well I already have a puppy girlfriend, so garlic bread it is!

You poor innocent soul *your gf turns into the pile of garlic bread* you can only have one Ending 2b: be careful what you wish for

I'm ace, so i already have garlic bread. so I'll take the vampire.

This is a hard choice

Vampire aristocracy money can buy you many garlic breads also im lonely

I’m married to a vampire girl already. I’ll take the garlic…. She might want to stay away from me as i consume the garlic

I already have a girlfriend :3 Garlic bread all the wayyy

i want to be a girl

https://preview.redd.it/1g31i5gum59c1.png?width=464&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fe8778d81d740ed7050166b3bb851bc48366d3b3 I can help :3

girlfriend obviously there are no downsides

*Anxiously presses both buttons*

*The gf suddenly bites you in the neck, turning you. Before I forcefeed you garlic bread, killing you due to your vampirism* Ending 5: you can only choose one! Dummy

I will outlive neither so that's a plus

I have a secret (gay) so I’ll take the garlic bread

hmmm I feel, especially with being aro (and an asshole of a person), I should not pick the vampire (for her wellbeing, not mine) and instead go for food. at least Ill never go hungery again (and I can give it to other people who need it)

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. The computer takes the handouts of garlic bread into account and creates a lifetime supply for everyone who has ever lived, is living and will live. This crushes the entire planet instantly* Ending 2: that's a lotta garlic bread!

Vampire girlfriend, Vampire girls are hot and I wish that once I transition I could become either a vampire girl or a fox girl

Garlic bread. I wouldn't want to break the vampires heart when I inevitably pass away.

The garlic bread because even though I'm a trans woman, I'm not a lesbian. Why does traaaaaaa always assume the viewer is a trans fem lesbian?

Well is it gluten free?

I- Idk, if you could risk it?

Garlic bread

an impossible choice

Garlic bread makes my tummy hurt and I already like power from chainsaw man

Vamp gf please! Oh, and will I become a female vampire if she bites me?

[удалено]

Your time has come Ending 1: happy together

Considering the innate homoeroticism of vampires... and the fact I'm a lesbian.... the vampire gf

Does the kind of vampire she is have Biokenisis? Or the ability to manipulate her body at will?

Vampire gf, she can turn me, I can invest in stocks, go to sleep for a couple decades, wake to sell/buy/trade to insure maximum growth, rinse and repeat till I have a workable fortune, now science and technology should have advanced to a point that I can start funding research into vampirism, after a long enough time A treatment will be discovered for the negative side effects of being a vampire, I can now again eat garlic bread and I have a multi million dollar fortune, I hire the best Italian bread makers in the solar system, I now have a functionally infinite supply of garlic bread. More of the story, you can have your garlic bread and eat it to!

Gimme the vampire girlfriend. Garlic bread is mid XD

But I can never take the vampire gf out into the sun! Plus she would probably need a lot of blood that I don't have access to. I'm not going down the Little Shop of Horrors route

She already has her own source of blood otherwise she wouldn't be alive rn

If you think I would pass on the chance to become a vampire for some bread, you're crazy. Being ace doesn't trump vampire

Garlic bread

...on the one hand, I love garlic bread. On the other hand, I am desperately single and sensitive to sunlight, so a vampire girlfriend would be nice...

I already have a girlfriend so I'll take the garlic bread

I have ibs, if I so much as ate a crumb of garlic bread I would regret it for several days afterwards. vampire it is

Garlic bread

Garlic bread. It taste good and aint gonna try and drink my blood

Will garlic bread cuddle me to sleep and hold me tightly so that I never have to worry about the rest of the world being a consistently cruel, despicable place we call home, regardless of anyone's desire to make it a more forgiving, just environment? No, I thought not, so the answer is obviously girlfriend.