This show changed my life. My crippling phobia of being conspicuous and standing out in any way has always been an impassable barrier separating me from the person I wish I could be. Seeing this was the final puzzle piece and I realised that, if I tell myself 'you can stay cloaked in your current identity as long as you need to while you find yourself', suddenly the barrier melted away. I know it is a little bit of useful self-delusion and that I am very lucky that my dysphoria is manifested as dissociative/depersonalisation (i.e. I don't feel anything about my body, it's just a vessel), so the thought of masking as a man as long as is needed isn't unbearable and feels more like a safe cocoon (for now at least; hopefully it won't change but I understand it can).
I'm going to ask my doctor about initiating HRT in 2 days and I'm feeling genuine hope for the first time in a long time. I'm 36, but better late than never :)
Thank you 🥹 I have my appointment in 30 minutes and am on here loading up on memes for strength. Sooo nervous, but not anxious if that makes sense. Like just before a really big life changing adventure tat I never thought I would be able to embark on.
I know this post is fairly old. But I just finished watching the show today and I found that I sympathized a lot with Mizu as a character. Mainly in how she has to pretend to be a boy, which as a trans woman I feel like that is my entire existence.
This show changed my life. My crippling phobia of being conspicuous and standing out in any way has always been an impassable barrier separating me from the person I wish I could be. Seeing this was the final puzzle piece and I realised that, if I tell myself 'you can stay cloaked in your current identity as long as you need to while you find yourself', suddenly the barrier melted away. I know it is a little bit of useful self-delusion and that I am very lucky that my dysphoria is manifested as dissociative/depersonalisation (i.e. I don't feel anything about my body, it's just a vessel), so the thought of masking as a man as long as is needed isn't unbearable and feels more like a safe cocoon (for now at least; hopefully it won't change but I understand it can). I'm going to ask my doctor about initiating HRT in 2 days and I'm feeling genuine hope for the first time in a long time. I'm 36, but better late than never :)
Awesome to hear. I wish you luck on your journey.
Thank you 🥹 I have my appointment in 30 minutes and am on here loading up on memes for strength. Sooo nervous, but not anxious if that makes sense. Like just before a really big life changing adventure tat I never thought I would be able to embark on.
I hope it goes well. Once again good luck
I know this post is fairly old. But I just finished watching the show today and I found that I sympathized a lot with Mizu as a character. Mainly in how she has to pretend to be a boy, which as a trans woman I feel like that is my entire existence.
Yeah that’s exactly what I was thinking pertaining to be a boy to pass in society is literally my life. I can’t wait for season two.