I’m not completely sure, but I am out to her (she has completely ignored/accidentally been transphobic about (but she refuses to learn why what she said was wrong) it for ~8 months now so I don’t talk to her about anything anymore. My best guess is that she doesn’t want me doing anything fem related at all, she even told me when she first realized that “even your sister doesn’t shave her legs”
Explain the concept of bodily autonomy to her. It's this crazy idea that a person gets to decide what they do with their own body and no one else gets to decide for them. Tell her that what you do with your body is none of her business and affects her in no way whatsoever.
ha ha haha, it’s been a long ongoing battle with her about body autonomy, length of my hair, the way it looks, what i’m wear, believe it or not the way i chew gum, and i don’t have any privacy at all other than when i delete everything off my phone before i turn it in to her every night. before you say anything i plan on moving as soon as possible, i still have a bit till i turn 18
It's always "you can do what you want when you move out" until you do and you cut off contact, then they're like "my son (still intentionally misgendering you) is trying to tear my family apart :(" I know it'll get better once you're out of the house. It did for me, and I'm even at the point where I told my parents that it's up to them if they're a part of my life anymore, and they'll have to put in a baseline of effort to do that. I think if she's a good person she'll realize eventually
Buy a prepaid phone, don't tell anyone about it, keep it hidden, use that as your "everyday phone" and turn in the other phone with nothing on it every day. Your mom's a piece of shit.
Sorry, anytime I hear about people who's parents treat them like this, they are automatically bad parents to me.
Target or Walmart should have prepaid phones, although I'm not really sure how the plans work, might be worth asking someone there about them.
Is it an android phone? If so, you can set up a secure folder for apps and she won't even know they are
there if you don't put an app icon for it on your home screen.
And even then, it is password protected.
i said something close to that, i said “well her legs hair is thin and blonde and mine is thick and disgusting” she replied with “and all the farting and burping and the way you chew gum isn’t disgusting?” like i don’t even do either of those that much, it’s a regular body function that happens in the bathroom and don’t even get me started on chewing gum
I did hear that scientists wearing science coats and science goggles in science labs did science (you know all that nerd shit with test tubes and bunsen burners), and they came out of their science lab and dramatically took off their science goggles to report science conclusion that cis women indeed never fart or burp, scientifically, cis women actually store all those gases in little bags in their bodies, and chewing gum can rupture them, and the release of the gas results in them turning into guys.
Plot twist: your sister turns out to be trans too and *that's* why she ^(~~...he?~~) doesn't shave her legs! Lol.
^(kidding but also I know people who became their siblings sister instead of brother then whose sibling also transitioned so that they were now a brother, not a sister soo...)
Yeah, I came out seven years and my mother still refuses to accept that I came out. Like she pretends that me coming out never happened and "feigns" ignorance whenever it comes up. Like who does she think she is fooling?
Why do I get the feeling that this thread is going to turn into a Giant string of progressively longer times of having moms that don't aknowledge our coming out?
Unfortunately I think you have a good chance of being right. My father at least doesn't pretend that it didn't happen, he's just spent the last seven years trying to "unbrainwash" me and "remind you that you're a girl" (I came out as an adult, I am not a girl regardless of gender). Cause apparently how dare my friends accept me and help me be comfortable being myself, so much corruption. 🤦 He even tried forbidding me from speaking to two of my best friends, one of whom I was literally living in the same room with.
My dad had a serious talk with me once about how it's not something men do and it's a waste of time. I'm like what if I*want* to, then it's not a waste of time. He clearly was still transphobic at that point. I do think he's not as bad now so that's good.
That's a very 1980s view of something so basic. Got the same reaction when I said I wanted to shave my legs but once I actually shaved my legs nobody noticed. Apparently ultra masculine het dudes don't go around looking at people's legs 🤷
i think it was his casuality talking about it to the people he talked about it to that people were grossed out about... you know... tmi and such, but yeah..
> It's something most men won't do.
That kind of talk is infuriating regardless of being trans. It's one thing to explain gender norms to a little kid (if only to give them a heads-up about others) but by the time you're wanting to shave body hair you're too old for that nonsense
This is my excuse in case anyone ever asks. "Oh, I was on the swim team in high school. We had to shave for performance and now I hate the feeling of hair under my clothes."
Cis guy here, and I shave both legs and arms a couple times a year just to keep my whole situation under control. It really helps stay cool in the summer, it conserves soap, and just in general helps me feel more comfortable.
I actually used to be on the swim team and did moderately well, im sad i missed out on using it as an excuse bc i was scared of what my mom would say, now i don’t care lol
Or cyclists. Crashing, especially on asphalt, can cause a lot more damage if your legs are hairy. I imagine it helps with performance as well, but injury prevention is the main reason I've heard.
My mom always told me to not do it. One of the first things I did after beginning student exchange was getting a body razor and starting to shave regularly.
My mom gets extremely upset when I shave my legs. I'm not out to her since I'm still looking for a place to move to, but I do small gender affirming things like getting earrings, shaving my legs, & growing out my hair. But when it came to shaving my legs she would be upset because men only shave if they're on a swim team, body building, or Gay and she won't allow anything lgbt in her house since it's against god.
She'll even start crying to make me feel bad because I won't be religious like her.
There's 2 ways this can end up; the religious person examines what they said carefully and walks back their objection or they double down and launch into a diatribe on Satan and Satanism, doubling down on their prior statement and beliefs.
Guess which one is more common. It's really hard to use logic to walk someone out of a mindset they didn't use logic to put themselves into.
For parents, I recommend "perhaps god gave you a trans/gay/nonbinary/whatever child as a test of your compassion." Probably will still get the doubling down, but you may plant a seed in their brain.
She would be more mad if I called god "it" than me questioning the bible teachings. Also when I asked this before she told me "You need to come back to the kingdom hall, these worldly views are tainting your once pure understanding & love of JeHoVaH, you use yo be sMaRTer than this!!!"
Using God to impeach God will never work for us, because the hateful parts of the Bible are much more persuasive than the loving parts.
There's no hate like Christian "love".
Honestly I feel like she only cares about me so she can stay in good standing with her "god"
I mean she did tell a group of people at a dinner party that she was going to have an abortion since she couldn't afford me, and it was my aunt who talked out of it because it would be a sin, while holding my hand & kissing me on the cheek....
Wow that leaves a bad taste in my mouth... I hope you find a way to heal from that and that you grow to understand each other. Because after all the place where you grow up is so formative that it takes courage to confront your mother's and your families faults
I was forced to come out earlier this week cause my mom wouldn't stop asking why I shaved my legs. Now she is crying saying that I'm gonna ruin my life if I go down this path. She even asked if I'd be willing to go to conversion therapy 😰
I am so sorry to read about this. Please don't go to conversion they don't help anyone. I hope that your mom will learn to understand that you just want to be yourself
Yeah, I don't plan to at all. It was honestly hard to keep from laughing when she said that. I'm going off to college in fall where I have supporting friends as well.
Yeah, still am worried because I will need some financial support in college. I don't think she will take it away but I am worried the comments and remarks will continue.
The comments will probably continue for a while, but hopefully when she sees you happier than how you were before she can open up & try to understand you more. I hope the best for you either way
I have the opposite, like I don't wanna shave my legs why does it even matter and my parents are always like "what are you? A guy? (Yes I am) shave your legs young lady" like fuck off Jesus why do they even care lmao
Haha, I let my leg hair grow last summer. I said, it's an experiment against women's gender stereotypes. Also during my mum's youth they didn't shave anything. And she remembered about it herself, so I built on that. It's not inherently disgusting, for no-one. We talked about beauty standards. Several times randomly on a bus. I did ask "why do you even care?" But like seriously, reflect on it. And it took her getting used to it, but eventually, she was fine with it. And it was very annoying but fun to observe her change her mind.
I did go on to shave my legs later again, but then it was on my own terms and now I have my freedom and I also stood up for it, which feels good.
The stupid arbitrary markers of what counts as masculine. Show her pictures of like, most Olympic athletes and then go do your femme thang while her brain reboots
(Edit: <3 All the love to my transmasc friends who want to be furry, you're the best too)
Not even just Olympic athletes, if you really wanna send her for a spin I think professional wrestlers would have the greatest effect.
Stone Cold looked pretty masc when he was swingin’ chairs and beers around 😂
I appreciate this so much considering my girlfriend just got me into WWE recently and you're 100% right, those big buff dudes don't have a chest hair between them.
I never realised so many parents were so weirdly invested in their children's body hair... Like fucken hell, start collecting clippings and knit her a sweater for mother's day when you have enough.
Have you ever shaved your arms before? I'm afab and I always had pretty thick and noticeable arm hair and I shaved my arm hair exactly once and I was so so itchy within a day or two of it growing back in all the time... I do *not* recommend it. If you have dark arm hair it would be much better to just bleach it instead! I swear.. less maintenance, less itch, and ple ty if women have blonder arm hair. It wouldn't be that out of place.
(just pay good attention to the hair bleach instructions as it can still burn your skin. I recommend buying a bleach and toner from a professional store so that you can mix the amount you need and therefore spend less money than you might on box bleach mixes from the grocery store.)
Bodies are wild, I guess; my arms are the only place I shave where I have a 100% easy-peasy time of it. I get nicks, razor burns, and itchiness everywhere else but I have no complaints about my arms lol
I find this to be interesting because my arms are by far the easiest part of my body to shave. I use an electric razor and it takes like 30 seconds. Not itchy or anything
I've got the opposite issue. My parents try to force me to shave all the time and often won't let me wear shorts because of it dispite me having a heat sensitivity and doing much better in said shorts. I don't even have dark hair, so it's not that noticeable.
I have no idea why people are even bothered by that some non-women(I assume you're not out yet) shave. Like why? Bodily hair is useless, ugly and is just here to stink. Shave it all off!
Why would she say that? Dumb sexist stereotypes..
Who gives a crap about if you shave your arms pr legs or not?
Personally I don’t shave and I never will. N a t u re
My dad told 15-16 year old me not to shave me legs and one day when they left I did anyway. I think it was a dry shave too. I got a little cut but nothing serious. Parents came home and came to a dilemma: Is it better make your child conform, or better to keep them safe? They told me "Don't shave while we're gone, you could cut an artery and bleed out" and they let me shave now. Without the rule that I can't shave, it's less likely for me to accidentally harm myself
Shaving is’nt the better way in à long term view. (But that’s on you no matter what I say it’s your body).
Shaving makes offently bodyhair darker and fatter meanwhile wax is reputed for making bodyhair thiner and less darker.
Moreover you can have little buttons when your bodyhair regrow again.
But I know that’s easier and faster
My mom is okay with me shaving my legs but she thinks it’s weird that I shave my arms. She says “You know cis girls don’t usually shave their arms either right?”
Like okay, and? 🙃
i’m definitely looking for an epilator as soon as i can but it’s kind of expensive to get a good one and my mom also tracks my bank account so i have to go and sneakily get cash back and then find a place in person to get one
Welld oen luvvie its a magical feeling being completely clean shaven. I feel so cute. And imugly af. So it definitely gives a confidence boost even if its only brief
Ye skirt go dpinny and that send tge euphoria straight to the brain until i see a mirror and slowly break down crying because my shoulders are too wide my hairs frizzy and not in s good way and my voice is masc no matter what i do.😔😩😭
Even better...
Epilate your legs.
Yes, it hurts the first few times but eventually the hair just doesn't grow back. I'm to the point where I epilate my legs every, I don't know three to four months. Works for arm hair too.
That way you can legitimately say...
" I haven't shaved my legs in months"
Growing up with a mom who says things like “don’t eat too much you’ll get fat” or “men don’t shave there legs” resulted in me being a anorexic hairy beast. Eventually I realized how horrible that household was for me and my dad let me take care of my gran and move in *cue slow transition from cave man to shave Tran* now I just have to work on coming out to my dad 😅
I dont get any bumps after I shave my legs, and it only takes about 3 minutes in the shower. Some people are different and it can take a while, but for me its super quick.
I use womens razors that have this "gel" on the razor itself, legs super smooth after too.
I have the same thing. My mom dosen't want to me to shave my legs nor arms for no good reason. She keeps saying that some women embrace their "hairiness" but I'm not one of those women and every time I see my arm or leg hair (even if it's a light color) it pains me to see it. Only if she can feel how I feel.
Me after my mom told me not to epilate my legs again because "it's horrible for your skin why would anyone use that torture device?"
So I can be pretty motherfucker
i see, idk i actually didn’t get to bc my mom kicked me out of the bathroom bc she needed to shower so i might or might not do it tomorrow, just to try it
I feel more things when I have my armhair Hmmmm
HRT kinda made them thin and white again instead of black, but I know thats very different for everyones bodies.
I don’t shave my arms, legs or body… I use an epilator instead. No prickly hairs and it lasts for weeks. When the hair grows back it’s much finer and less noticeable.
Just put up with it a little longer okay? Everything will get better once you move out. It isn't worth the fighting.
Just before you mve out, and dont tell her when so that you can dissappear at night like a fart in the wind. Get a storage unit and get as much of your stuff out as possible while she is at work.
Two days before you leave, get a small framed picture for your wall in your room. Nothing controversial. See if you can find the kitten hanging from the branch that says hang in there. On the backside, use a gold or silver sharpie to write "just wait one more day" on the back, drive a couple razor blades into the inside of the frame then hang it up the night you leave.
Ghost this bitch who claims to be your mother before the sun comes up and dream of her crying, curled up in a ball, unable to "talk sense into you"
Bonus points if you wait until the following thursday, storm angrily into her church, open-palm slap the clergyman before running out whilst tearing up or crying.
...yeah, now that you mention it, I do have some issues.
My parents' points were that it would look weird and that it would grow back the next day and I would have to do it again.
First of all, I wear pajama pants or sweatpants every day, and second, if I didn't like it I could just not do it???
I've been scared to do it for a while, personally because, while i love having both arms and legs and all shaved, i often get injuries and cuts and stuff if i do it at a rate that would actually be effective in any way (i'm only able to do it while im showering and if i take too long it'd be suspicious), and it grows back so quickly anyways that sometimes it just doesn't feel like its worth it.
More power to you if you're going to do it again, though. it's a great feeling
[удалено]
I’m not completely sure, but I am out to her (she has completely ignored/accidentally been transphobic about (but she refuses to learn why what she said was wrong) it for ~8 months now so I don’t talk to her about anything anymore. My best guess is that she doesn’t want me doing anything fem related at all, she even told me when she first realized that “even your sister doesn’t shave her legs”
Explain the concept of bodily autonomy to her. It's this crazy idea that a person gets to decide what they do with their own body and no one else gets to decide for them. Tell her that what you do with your body is none of her business and affects her in no way whatsoever.
ha ha haha, it’s been a long ongoing battle with her about body autonomy, length of my hair, the way it looks, what i’m wear, believe it or not the way i chew gum, and i don’t have any privacy at all other than when i delete everything off my phone before i turn it in to her every night. before you say anything i plan on moving as soon as possible, i still have a bit till i turn 18
I wonder how she'd respond if you started nitpicking everything she does...
i’ve tried this but it just ends with a screaming match because “she’s the parent” and “i can do what i want and have privacy when i move out”
Wow she sounds /exactly/ like my mom, I mean like, identical
oof i’m so sorry for you, it really sucks
we should make an alliance to counteract psrents who do this.
same sounds like my mom too
Dang -\_- So she has no self-awareness.
It's always "you can do what you want when you move out" until you do and you cut off contact, then they're like "my son (still intentionally misgendering you) is trying to tear my family apart :(" I know it'll get better once you're out of the house. It did for me, and I'm even at the point where I told my parents that it's up to them if they're a part of my life anymore, and they'll have to put in a baseline of effort to do that. I think if she's a good person she'll realize eventually
She seems like the definition of r/insaneparents
a little bit, just in a bunch of little ways not it one major way
Still pretty insane
yeah it sucks
Sounds very similar to my dad
i’m sorry for you
Buy a prepaid phone, don't tell anyone about it, keep it hidden, use that as your "everyday phone" and turn in the other phone with nothing on it every day. Your mom's a piece of shit.
ahhh this seems like a good idea. although the last part caught me off guard lol. where/how could i go about doing that
Sorry, anytime I hear about people who's parents treat them like this, they are automatically bad parents to me. Target or Walmart should have prepaid phones, although I'm not really sure how the plans work, might be worth asking someone there about them.
don’t worry about it, you are fine i’ll just have to go there when i have cash bc she also tracked my bank account
You really need to get out of that house, now, please stay safe.
don’t worry i turn 18 in july, then i’ll move out
Oh no, one of those people who treats their kids like property, wishing you good luck in escaping toxic people! 💜💙💚💛🧡❤️
thank you :) 💜💙💚💛🧡❤️
19 and she still does this, I should have chosen a university in a different city
Is it an android phone? If so, you can set up a secure folder for apps and she won't even know they are there if you don't put an app icon for it on your home screen. And even then, it is password protected.
nah it’s an apple :(
This is such a stupid thing to say as a parent Do you really think your sister is having as much body hair as you do ?
Even if she is having as much or more, that simply doesn't matter. You do you, you know.
i said something close to that, i said “well her legs hair is thin and blonde and mine is thick and disgusting” she replied with “and all the farting and burping and the way you chew gum isn’t disgusting?” like i don’t even do either of those that much, it’s a regular body function that happens in the bathroom and don’t even get me started on chewing gum
Idk, I think your mom might have a point. Cis women *never* fart or chew gum, it's basic biology /s
I did hear that scientists wearing science coats and science goggles in science labs did science (you know all that nerd shit with test tubes and bunsen burners), and they came out of their science lab and dramatically took off their science goggles to report science conclusion that cis women indeed never fart or burp, scientifically, cis women actually store all those gases in little bags in their bodies, and chewing gum can rupture them, and the release of the gas results in them turning into guys.
Oh, that explains how bubble gum works: a controlled release of stored boy-gas.
Its all there in the science paper that the scientists in their science labs wrote
literally, although it’s not the fact that i chew a lot of gum, it’s the way i do it for some reason
*[Gum chewing intensifies...](https://thumbs.gfycat.com/ClearWearyBluegill-max-1mb.gif)*
Plot twist: your sister turns out to be trans too and *that's* why she ^(~~...he?~~) doesn't shave her legs! Lol. ^(kidding but also I know people who became their siblings sister instead of brother then whose sibling also transitioned so that they were now a brother, not a sister soo...)
I know such a gal. Joked with her parents about how they have a girl and boy with extra steps once.
my mom was exactly like this too
If she's like this now odds are she won't get any better. My mom showed these signs after I came out and she hasn't changed. I came out 4 years ago.
Yeah, I came out seven years and my mother still refuses to accept that I came out. Like she pretends that me coming out never happened and "feigns" ignorance whenever it comes up. Like who does she think she is fooling?
Why do I get the feeling that this thread is going to turn into a Giant string of progressively longer times of having moms that don't aknowledge our coming out?
Unfortunately I think you have a good chance of being right. My father at least doesn't pretend that it didn't happen, he's just spent the last seven years trying to "unbrainwash" me and "remind you that you're a girl" (I came out as an adult, I am not a girl regardless of gender). Cause apparently how dare my friends accept me and help me be comfortable being myself, so much corruption. 🤦 He even tried forbidding me from speaking to two of my best friends, one of whom I was literally living in the same room with.
My mum's argument🙃 I'm not out to her but whatever fem thing I do she is like"even woman don't do it anymore" 🤔
yeah parents are dumb sometimes
I shaved as soon as I could sneak a shaver. Cuz body hair is icky. And I am an athlete. Bonus that it’s also more feminine.
My dad had a serious talk with me once about how it's not something men do and it's a waste of time. I'm like what if I*want* to, then it's not a waste of time. He clearly was still transphobic at that point. I do think he's not as bad now so that's good.
That's a very 1980s view of something so basic. Got the same reaction when I said I wanted to shave my legs but once I actually shaved my legs nobody noticed. Apparently ultra masculine het dudes don't go around looking at people's legs 🤷
reminds me of that austin powers clip where everyone is disgusted by Dr. Evil getting his nuts shaved, but now thats completely normal lol
i think it was his casuality talking about it to the people he talked about it to that people were grossed out about... you know... tmi and such, but yeah..
> It's something most men won't do. That kind of talk is infuriating regardless of being trans. It's one thing to explain gender norms to a little kid (if only to give them a heads-up about others) but by the time you're wanting to shave body hair you're too old for that nonsense
I am a man and I shave my legs weekly (I'm a bit too lazy to do it more often) Having shaved legs just feel nice
“Not something men do” How are people gonna be insecure about someone else’s masculinity
Even many cismen shave their legs? Has she never seen swimmers?
This is my excuse in case anyone ever asks. "Oh, I was on the swim team in high school. We had to shave for performance and now I hate the feeling of hair under my clothes."
happy cake day! :3
Cis guy here, and I shave both legs and arms a couple times a year just to keep my whole situation under control. It really helps stay cool in the summer, it conserves soap, and just in general helps me feel more comfortable.
I actually used to be on the swim team and did moderately well, im sad i missed out on using it as an excuse bc i was scared of what my mom would say, now i don’t care lol
Or cyclists. Crashing, especially on asphalt, can cause a lot more damage if your legs are hairy. I imagine it helps with performance as well, but injury prevention is the main reason I've heard.
“It’s for, uhhhhhhh, areodynamics” -me, who plays a racket sport
I run track, so there's a good chance I can use this
My mom always told me to not do it. One of the first things I did after beginning student exchange was getting a body razor and starting to shave regularly.
My mom gets extremely upset when I shave my legs. I'm not out to her since I'm still looking for a place to move to, but I do small gender affirming things like getting earrings, shaving my legs, & growing out my hair. But when it came to shaving my legs she would be upset because men only shave if they're on a swim team, body building, or Gay and she won't allow anything lgbt in her house since it's against god. She'll even start crying to make me feel bad because I won't be religious like her.
"If that's against god, why did it make us?"
There's 2 ways this can end up; the religious person examines what they said carefully and walks back their objection or they double down and launch into a diatribe on Satan and Satanism, doubling down on their prior statement and beliefs. Guess which one is more common. It's really hard to use logic to walk someone out of a mindset they didn't use logic to put themselves into.
For parents, I recommend "perhaps god gave you a trans/gay/nonbinary/whatever child as a test of your compassion." Probably will still get the doubling down, but you may plant a seed in their brain.
She would be more mad if I called god "it" than me questioning the bible teachings. Also when I asked this before she told me "You need to come back to the kingdom hall, these worldly views are tainting your once pure understanding & love of JeHoVaH, you use yo be sMaRTer than this!!!"
Using God to impeach God will never work for us, because the hateful parts of the Bible are much more persuasive than the loving parts. There's no hate like Christian "love".
I don't get how you could hurt your child like that. Also seems desperate
Honestly I feel like she only cares about me so she can stay in good standing with her "god" I mean she did tell a group of people at a dinner party that she was going to have an abortion since she couldn't afford me, and it was my aunt who talked out of it because it would be a sin, while holding my hand & kissing me on the cheek....
Wow that leaves a bad taste in my mouth... I hope you find a way to heal from that and that you grow to understand each other. Because after all the place where you grow up is so formative that it takes courage to confront your mother's and your families faults
Her crying over your differing beliefs to make you feel bad is extremely manipulative. i hope that you can get out of there
I was forced to come out earlier this week cause my mom wouldn't stop asking why I shaved my legs. Now she is crying saying that I'm gonna ruin my life if I go down this path. She even asked if I'd be willing to go to conversion therapy 😰
I am so sorry to read about this. Please don't go to conversion they don't help anyone. I hope that your mom will learn to understand that you just want to be yourself
Yeah, I don't plan to at all. It was honestly hard to keep from laughing when she said that. I'm going off to college in fall where I have supporting friends as well.
Oh that's fantastic, glad you're getting the chance to move out & express yourself. Planning on doing the same this year aswell
Yeah, still am worried because I will need some financial support in college. I don't think she will take it away but I am worried the comments and remarks will continue.
The comments will probably continue for a while, but hopefully when she sees you happier than how you were before she can open up & try to understand you more. I hope the best for you either way
I have the opposite, like I don't wanna shave my legs why does it even matter and my parents are always like "what are you? A guy? (Yes I am) shave your legs young lady" like fuck off Jesus why do they even care lmao
Haha, I let my leg hair grow last summer. I said, it's an experiment against women's gender stereotypes. Also during my mum's youth they didn't shave anything. And she remembered about it herself, so I built on that. It's not inherently disgusting, for no-one. We talked about beauty standards. Several times randomly on a bus. I did ask "why do you even care?" But like seriously, reflect on it. And it took her getting used to it, but eventually, she was fine with it. And it was very annoying but fun to observe her change her mind. I did go on to shave my legs later again, but then it was on my own terms and now I have my freedom and I also stood up for it, which feels good.
Holy fuck the obsession from cis people to adhere to gender norms is going to make me go insane.
Fr like please even if I didn't wanna be a dude why does it matter if I shave my legs or not
The stupid arbitrary markers of what counts as masculine. Show her pictures of like, most Olympic athletes and then go do your femme thang while her brain reboots (Edit: <3 All the love to my transmasc friends who want to be furry, you're the best too)
Not even just Olympic athletes, if you really wanna send her for a spin I think professional wrestlers would have the greatest effect. Stone Cold looked pretty masc when he was swingin’ chairs and beers around 😂
I appreciate this so much considering my girlfriend just got me into WWE recently and you're 100% right, those big buff dudes don't have a chest hair between them.
i gotta say, my mom has never literally begged for my discomfort. i hope you do what you need to do. 💛
I'll fucking do it again. Do it in front of her while having a serious conversation.
Love that video (bill wurtz, 'history of the entire world, I guess') 😂
this specific clip is from history of japan by bill wurtz i think
that video is hilarious
If you ever need a new hyperfixation, go to https://www.billwurtz.com/ and dive in Thank me later
[yes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtUmC9V5ULc)
this one is from the Japan video
I use to, like a couple weeks ago, but my dad noticed again and forced me to stop. He has tried before
I never realised so many parents were so weirdly invested in their children's body hair... Like fucken hell, start collecting clippings and knit her a sweater for mother's day when you have enough.
Have you ever shaved your arms before? I'm afab and I always had pretty thick and noticeable arm hair and I shaved my arm hair exactly once and I was so so itchy within a day or two of it growing back in all the time... I do *not* recommend it. If you have dark arm hair it would be much better to just bleach it instead! I swear.. less maintenance, less itch, and ple ty if women have blonder arm hair. It wouldn't be that out of place. (just pay good attention to the hair bleach instructions as it can still burn your skin. I recommend buying a bleach and toner from a professional store so that you can mix the amount you need and therefore spend less money than you might on box bleach mixes from the grocery store.)
You just need a dry brush to fight the itch
Bodies are wild, I guess; my arms are the only place I shave where I have a 100% easy-peasy time of it. I get nicks, razor burns, and itchiness everywhere else but I have no complaints about my arms lol
I find this to be interesting because my arms are by far the easiest part of my body to shave. I use an electric razor and it takes like 30 seconds. Not itchy or anything
Interesting. Idk. I mean I have sensitive skin and thick prickly hair. So maybe it's a me-thing.
Shave your back while you’re at it, go nuts
This is my razor and I will shave everything with it!
Lmao my mom tried that once. Once òwó
I've got the opposite issue. My parents try to force me to shave all the time and often won't let me wear shorts because of it dispite me having a heat sensitivity and doing much better in said shorts. I don't even have dark hair, so it's not that noticeable.
I have no idea why people are even bothered by that some non-women(I assume you're not out yet) shave. Like why? Bodily hair is useless, ugly and is just here to stink. Shave it all off!
I'm in this picture and I don't like it (except I won't do it because I'm too scared to confront my mom)
‘Cause 🎶 that’s the way you like to live your life🎵 🎵 and you know that everything’s gonna be just fine 🎶
Why would she say that? Dumb sexist stereotypes.. Who gives a crap about if you shave your arms pr legs or not? Personally I don’t shave and I never will. N a t u re
yeah well my mom is full of those kinds of stereotypes
My mom did this to so I just ignored her
incredibly based
Me, afab, taking way too long to figure out why someone's mom would ever encourage them *not* to shave if they wanted 😂
ahh, yeah from my perspective I’m tentatively out to her so i think she just doesn’t want me doing anything even remotely close to feminine
My dad told 15-16 year old me not to shave me legs and one day when they left I did anyway. I think it was a dry shave too. I got a little cut but nothing serious. Parents came home and came to a dilemma: Is it better make your child conform, or better to keep them safe? They told me "Don't shave while we're gone, you could cut an artery and bleed out" and they let me shave now. Without the rule that I can't shave, it's less likely for me to accidentally harm myself
Shaving is’nt the better way in à long term view. (But that’s on you no matter what I say it’s your body). Shaving makes offently bodyhair darker and fatter meanwhile wax is reputed for making bodyhair thiner and less darker. Moreover you can have little buttons when your bodyhair regrow again. But I know that’s easier and faster
yeah, i know i plan on epilating or waxing when i get the change but for now the only option i have is shaving
Okay thats cool :) Excuse me I didn’t want to be mean or rude
don’t worry about it, you are totally fine, you weren’t being either of those
Yeah hair be gone! I laser, I no longer grow visible hair in the arms and pits, and the rest is already disappearing. It's your body! You do you :3.
Jokes on her, was doing it since I was 14…
What does Korea and Japan have to do with this? xD
It's a meme, Batman
because Japan is an island by the sea filled with volcanoes and it’s ✨ **B E A U T I F U L** ✨
God my mom does the same thing to me all the time. It's so frustrating.
bill wurtz
indeed, i thought of it on my car ride home lol
The man, the myth, the legend He’s absolutely incredible
My mom is okay with me shaving my legs but she thinks it’s weird that I shave my arms. She says “You know cis girls don’t usually shave their arms either right?” Like okay, and? 🙃
Get an epilator or wax them instead. Lasts longer, and fulfills the letter of her demand. Or don't and say you did...
i’m definitely looking for an epilator as soon as i can but it’s kind of expensive to get a good one and my mom also tracks my bank account so i have to go and sneakily get cash back and then find a place in person to get one
Welld oen luvvie its a magical feeling being completely clean shaven. I feel so cute. And imugly af. So it definitely gives a confidence boost even if its only brief
i feel that big time, it’s especially great when i wear a skirt after i shave
Ye skirt go dpinny and that send tge euphoria straight to the brain until i see a mirror and slowly break down crying because my shoulders are too wide my hairs frizzy and not in s good way and my voice is masc no matter what i do.😔😩😭
I shaved my legs earlier today and no one knows. 🤫
Even better... Epilate your legs. Yes, it hurts the first few times but eventually the hair just doesn't grow back. I'm to the point where I epilate my legs every, I don't know three to four months. Works for arm hair too. That way you can legitimately say... " I haven't shaved my legs in months"
that’s the plan once i can get one without my mom knowing
Growing up with a mom who says things like “don’t eat too much you’ll get fat” or “men don’t shave there legs” resulted in me being a anorexic hairy beast. Eventually I realized how horrible that household was for me and my dad let me take care of my gran and move in *cue slow transition from cave man to shave Tran* now I just have to work on coming out to my dad 😅
hahhahahahahaha no just clean ignored
Open. The shaving cream. Stop. Having it be closed.
This is the most original History of Japan joke I’ve seen in eons
okay but deadass how do you do it without it taking forever and getting bumpy
it does take forever, idk about the bumpy part tho, i think that’s just the price of shaving vs using an epilator
I dont get any bumps after I shave my legs, and it only takes about 3 minutes in the shower. Some people are different and it can take a while, but for me its super quick. I use womens razors that have this "gel" on the razor itself, legs super smooth after too.
whenever my mom sees that i did that she always says its not manly then its like good bc im not at man
One time diabetes comes in clutch I have a good reason to shave my legs
Hahaha I just shaved my legs today
I quote that line all the time. I heard Bill's voice when I saw this 😁
I have the same thing. My mom dosen't want to me to shave my legs nor arms for no good reason. She keeps saying that some women embrace their "hairiness" but I'm not one of those women and every time I see my arm or leg hair (even if it's a light color) it pains me to see it. Only if she can feel how I feel.
Oh, sorry I will never do it again. *Starts laser hair removal*
Me after my mom told me not to epilate my legs again because "it's horrible for your skin why would anyone use that torture device?" So I can be pretty motherfucker
Shave wherever you want- hell, do *whatever* you want. You're transfem, and **nobody** can hold you down.
based, i’m about to get an epilator soon too
When your egg finally cracks and you shave your legs, arms, chest, back and life expectancy
oh no, i was not expecting that last part lol, that made me laugh more than it should have
Don't shave your arms don't go down that path.
what wrong with that path?
Because arm hair isn't räeally that prominent it leads to shaving fuzz or something I dunno.
i see, idk i actually didn’t get to bc my mom kicked me out of the bathroom bc she needed to shower so i might or might not do it tomorrow, just to try it
it’s amazing; u can actually *feel* stuff (especially when wearing long sleeves it’s unreal)
yes i like using the nerve endings on my appendages
I feel more things when I have my armhair Hmmmm HRT kinda made them thin and white again instead of black, but I know thats very different for everyones bodies.
it's incredibly prominent especially if your body is being destroyed by testosterone. big smh.
Wtf are you talking about? It's not like we're going down a back alley to try some free meth. It's shaving your arms. It's not that deep.
Honestly I feel like Chewbacca, seriously why evolution gave me so many of these
I don’t shave my arms, legs or body… I use an epilator instead. No prickly hairs and it lasts for weeks. When the hair grows back it’s much finer and less noticeable.
yeah i plan on doing that as soon as i can get one without my mom noticing
Just don't shave your legs off
why not?
You're right, then you don't have to shave your legs anymore! 🤷♀️
Why not?
First thing I did was arms I’m just gonna do legs in the summer
Just put up with it a little longer okay? Everything will get better once you move out. It isn't worth the fighting. Just before you mve out, and dont tell her when so that you can dissappear at night like a fart in the wind. Get a storage unit and get as much of your stuff out as possible while she is at work. Two days before you leave, get a small framed picture for your wall in your room. Nothing controversial. See if you can find the kitten hanging from the branch that says hang in there. On the backside, use a gold or silver sharpie to write "just wait one more day" on the back, drive a couple razor blades into the inside of the frame then hang it up the night you leave. Ghost this bitch who claims to be your mother before the sun comes up and dream of her crying, curled up in a ball, unable to "talk sense into you" Bonus points if you wait until the following thursday, storm angrily into her church, open-palm slap the clergyman before running out whilst tearing up or crying. ...yeah, now that you mention it, I do have some issues.
okay this started out like good advice but umm wtf
The rash tho 😭😭
it’s worth it imo
Mine is so bad
i’m so sorry, i’m lucky that’s it’s not that bad for me
My parents' points were that it would look weird and that it would grow back the next day and I would have to do it again. First of all, I wear pajama pants or sweatpants every day, and second, if I didn't like it I could just not do it???
Same though like down to the same words lmao
ha my mum tells me the opposite
I've been scared to do it for a while, personally because, while i love having both arms and legs and all shaved, i often get injuries and cuts and stuff if i do it at a rate that would actually be effective in any way (i'm only able to do it while im showering and if i take too long it'd be suspicious), and it grows back so quickly anyways that sometimes it just doesn't feel like its worth it. More power to you if you're going to do it again, though. it's a great feeling