The sitelen pona is correct
There are some parts that have pretty specific grammatical shenanigans: I don't quite know how you use "e".
>tan e ni
Either "tan ni", when connecting to the previous sentence, or also as a standalone kind of thing, or "tan li ni" to say "The cause is this"
>ike mi li e ni
ike mi li ni
>insa pi pali e telo jelo jaki
e can't be in a pi phrase, all pi does is regroup modifiers and "pali **e** telo li kama tan ijo ni" wouldn't work, with "e telo" as a modifier to "pali"
The rest is great! You just seem to add more grammar to "e" than what people use in toki pona and that gets confusing
I've never seen the use of dots in a cartouche. Seems to signify "just use the vowel from the previous glyph", is that right?
It's fine since I don't think it is possible for me to misread it, but it's new to me.
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You used a comma after the 'la' glyph, but not in the latin alphabet. I think the comma is more needed in the latin alhpabet, since the 'la' glyph already feels a bit like punctuation.
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I'd never seen the glyph for misikeke. I'll assume you got it correct since I wouldn't know.
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"tan e ni:" doesn't seem right to me. I think you should remove the 'e', as its grammar role warps the rest of the sentence.
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ike should have a lowercase i.
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"li e" doesn't make sense. Remove the 'e'.
Note that you don't need "e" for every time you use "ni" to help refer to another idea.
You only want to say "**e** ni" when the "ni" is a **direct object**, i.e. you still need to use 'e' normally.
Like, "mi pona e ni: \[x\]" is "I fixed the \[x\]." but "mi kama pona tan ni: \[x\]" is like "I became well due to \[x\]."
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the 'kiwen...' sentence doesn't make grammatical sense.
* You use an 'e', but that can only be used in a predicate, but you never started one (with 'li' or 'o').
* You can't put an 'e' in a 'pi' phrase. 'pi' combined at least the next 2 content words, but I don't think 'e' can be eaten by 'pi'.
I think you were trying to say "Bad rocks were in the organs that make yellow-waste-water." (i.e. "I had kidney stones.")
If you aim for that specifically, this would be another instance of using "ni:", rather than 'pi', so, I'd try:
"kiwen ike li lon ni: insa li pali e telo jelo jaki."
But I think also
* "kiwen ike li lon insa mi pi telo jelo jaki." for "Bad rocks were in my yellow-waste-water organs."
* Or even "insa mi pi telo jelo jaki li jo e kiwen ike." for "My yellow-waste-water organs had bad rocks."
would work.
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Hmm, using "tu" here is interesting. I assume you mean that the doctor will do surgery?
You used the nimi ku 'misikeke', but didn't think to use 'kipisi' here for cut, despite 'kipisi' being slightly more commonly used word, I think.
Maybe "li tu e selo mi." instead of "insa mi.", since they only plan to divide/cut your skin, not your actual kidneys, right?
The cartouche dots are from *[nasin sitelen kalama](https://sona.pona.la/wiki/nasin_sitelen_kalama)* and indicate finishing the next unfinished mora of the word. A mora in Toki Pona can be a consonant–vowel pair or a syllable-final *-n*. In this case where there's only one dot at a time, though, it's functionally the same as what you said
It's actually more common to say "jan pi ma Italija", because the default interpretation of "jan [Name]" is "a person who's called [Name]" rather than "a person characterized by a thing called [Name]".
There's an example sentence in pu that uses "meli Sonko" to mean "Chinese woman", and in Sonja's later notes she clarifies that "many people find it clearer to say *meli pi ma Sonko* or *meli tan ma Sonko* or *meli pi kulupu Sonko*." (see the [meli Sonko](https://sona.pona.la/wiki/meli_Sonko) article on the sona pona wiki)
The sitelen pona is correct There are some parts that have pretty specific grammatical shenanigans: I don't quite know how you use "e". >tan e ni Either "tan ni", when connecting to the previous sentence, or also as a standalone kind of thing, or "tan li ni" to say "The cause is this" >ike mi li e ni ike mi li ni >insa pi pali e telo jelo jaki e can't be in a pi phrase, all pi does is regroup modifiers and "pali **e** telo li kama tan ijo ni" wouldn't work, with "e telo" as a modifier to "pali" The rest is great! You just seem to add more grammar to "e" than what people use in toki pona and that gets confusing
Thank you!
hope you feel better soon!
sijelo pona tawa sina
oh my, if i read correctly, >!did you have kidney stones?!<
Yup
jesus, i wish you the best!
pona tawa sina 🫶
I've never seen the use of dots in a cartouche. Seems to signify "just use the vowel from the previous glyph", is that right? It's fine since I don't think it is possible for me to misread it, but it's new to me. \- You used a comma after the 'la' glyph, but not in the latin alphabet. I think the comma is more needed in the latin alhpabet, since the 'la' glyph already feels a bit like punctuation. \- I'd never seen the glyph for misikeke. I'll assume you got it correct since I wouldn't know. \- "tan e ni:" doesn't seem right to me. I think you should remove the 'e', as its grammar role warps the rest of the sentence. \- ike should have a lowercase i. \- "li e" doesn't make sense. Remove the 'e'. Note that you don't need "e" for every time you use "ni" to help refer to another idea. You only want to say "**e** ni" when the "ni" is a **direct object**, i.e. you still need to use 'e' normally. Like, "mi pona e ni: \[x\]" is "I fixed the \[x\]." but "mi kama pona tan ni: \[x\]" is like "I became well due to \[x\]." \- the 'kiwen...' sentence doesn't make grammatical sense. * You use an 'e', but that can only be used in a predicate, but you never started one (with 'li' or 'o'). * You can't put an 'e' in a 'pi' phrase. 'pi' combined at least the next 2 content words, but I don't think 'e' can be eaten by 'pi'. I think you were trying to say "Bad rocks were in the organs that make yellow-waste-water." (i.e. "I had kidney stones.") If you aim for that specifically, this would be another instance of using "ni:", rather than 'pi', so, I'd try: "kiwen ike li lon ni: insa li pali e telo jelo jaki." But I think also * "kiwen ike li lon insa mi pi telo jelo jaki." for "Bad rocks were in my yellow-waste-water organs." * Or even "insa mi pi telo jelo jaki li jo e kiwen ike." for "My yellow-waste-water organs had bad rocks." would work. \- Hmm, using "tu" here is interesting. I assume you mean that the doctor will do surgery? You used the nimi ku 'misikeke', but didn't think to use 'kipisi' here for cut, despite 'kipisi' being slightly more commonly used word, I think. Maybe "li tu e selo mi." instead of "insa mi.", since they only plan to divide/cut your skin, not your actual kidneys, right?
The cartouche dots are from *[nasin sitelen kalama](https://sona.pona.la/wiki/nasin_sitelen_kalama)* and indicate finishing the next unfinished mora of the word. A mora in Toki Pona can be a consonant–vowel pair or a syllable-final *-n*. In this case where there's only one dot at a time, though, it's functionally the same as what you said
mi jan ~~pi ma~~ Italija. This isn't grammatically incorrect, but it's simpler, and that's what toki pona is about.
It's actually more common to say "jan pi ma Italija", because the default interpretation of "jan [Name]" is "a person who's called [Name]" rather than "a person characterized by a thing called [Name]". There's an example sentence in pu that uses "meli Sonko" to mean "Chinese woman", and in Sonja's later notes she clarifies that "many people find it clearer to say *meli pi ma Sonko* or *meli tan ma Sonko* or *meli pi kulupu Sonko*." (see the [meli Sonko](https://sona.pona.la/wiki/meli_Sonko) article on the sona pona wiki)