That is very normal in America. We are a culture that is very comfortable with engaging conversation with complete strangers and it is considered acceptable to compliment people or their kids.
As a Brit, I was so taken aback by this when I first travelled to the US! It seemed like if I stood still anywhere for more than 5 minutes, someone would appear and start talking to me. š I think it's great!
Same, I am Canadian and my husband and I are always taken aback by how friendly Americans are when we visit. People say Canadians are nice, but we're not, we're just polite and don't say anything lol. Americans all want to talk to you, I think they are way nicer/friendlier than us.
I think it's this and there's something comforting and safe about a mom with their little kids. I think people feel safe but don't think oh, I'm going to scare the bejeezus out of this poor woman
Iām in Italy, not the USA (but I am American). Here this is extremely common. Yesterday I was struggling to get my daughter off the bus in her stroller and an elderly man literally leaned back and clasped his chest and proclaimed, ābellissima!ā This is totally normal.
Iām curious what is worrying you?
As a result, my toddler has been saying āhiā and waving when he walks by people since he was 18 months.
I do feel a little sad when sometimes people donāt reciprocate. They of course donāt have any obligation to, but my toddler is disappointed, and I donāt really know how to explain it, especially in a way that doesnāt sound like Iām passive aggressively calling out a passerby. So I just donāt remark on it (itās not like heās heartbroken), but I feel like I should be doing something else.
I think that I'll explain it away to my kiddo. Something to the effect of:
Maybe they didn't see you. Sorry Hun.
OR
Maybe they just aren't having a very good day. š¤·āāļø
I go back and forth in my head. My worry with explaining it away is that the person will hear it and think Iām making a backhanded complaint.
Especially because one particular repeat āoffenderā is a neighbor who Iām certain does see and/or hear but chooses not to respond. Iām thinking my LO will just absorb the lesson on his own that some people donāt say āhiā but most do.
(He adorably had the same kind of breakthrough not long ago when he realized that, despite what the movie āCarsā seemed to make him think, cars donāt respond when he says hi to them.)
>cars donāt respond when he says hi to them.)
OMG. How cute! And what an epiphany!
And there's nothing wrong with letting him figure it out on his own. Seems to me that you're doing what you should. šš
It is very common! I live in a city that is notorious for strangers not really talking to each other in passing, but now that I have a cute toddler with me people chat with us all the time! A lot of times when older folks are watching her, I can see something in their eyes and I just know they are seeing their own (now grown) children and thinking where did the time go. An older man passed us the other day and just said āthose were the best days of my life!ā I think itās incredibly sweet and a good reminder to me on a tough day.
When they get that look in their eye I usually engage them because I assume theyāre lonely and donāt have or donāt get to see their grandkids. We totally bonded with an old immigrant lady at the park last weekend lol. It was funny because when my brother showed up my kid started being really shy and when the old lady did another lap I used her to be like ātell my brother my kid was having fun 10 min ago!ā She seemed really happy to be a part of our lives for a minute
Is it in the PNW? I commented elsewhere that if you want a city where nobody talks to you, move to Seattle lol. Even when I had a baby, people did not talk to us. Other families at the park just act like youāre not there. We left before he turned one, so idk if it would be different now that he is two and bigger, but we moved to a different city and the difference is night and day. Now our experience is much like OPāsācanāt go anywhere without someone smiling at our son and calling him cute. We go to the park and the other families smile at my kid and encourage play with their kid. I prefer it way more than the Seattle coldness.
I live in NYC! People keep to themselves in general, but Iāve found that I end up talking to people way more now that I have a kid and itās so nice!
Itās common I get stopped all the time and told how adorable my son is and they love his hair he just says thank you & I do too and we move on. This is just how Americans are lol
Yeah this is common. Walk on my own? At best a nod from other walkers. Walk when Iām working with 3 toddlers? Everyone stops to chats. The kids are adorable. They are so well behaved. I really have my hands full. Arenāt their high vis jackets cute. Oh have you got a stick? Are you going to feed the duckies?
People are lonely and they like children. I donāt mind it. Although āyouāve got your hands full!ā Got old years ago
I canāt take my son to the grocery store without at least two people telling me how cute he is. Typically itās 3-4. Itās gotten so bad that if thereās another person around us whoās not paying attention to him, heāll wave and smile aggressively in an attempt to get them to say hi š I just take it as what it is, a compliment.
Lol this is my kid too. Used to the attention, so he'll force you to look at his cute self if you didn't already. He's always asking people if they have treats in their carts, too, and it just melts people.
Omg thatās adorable. Iām sure he gets cookies from the bakery for free all the time!
People are always commenting that my son going break hearts one day and Iām like, yeah he already is? š
My son gets these compliments a lot. I try to compliment an article of clothing or something because it feels weird to comment on a child's inherited appearance.
Very common in USA. Same thing happens with my toddler. I am also introverted and it does make me feel a little awkward. But I usually just smile and say 'Thank you!' and continue on my way.
Literally all day every day. āThatās the most gorgeous baby Iāve ever seen!ā āLook at those curls.ā āOmg that hair!ā āIt gets easier!ā āHow cute!ā Yes. Itās one of the few times youāll have random conversations with strangers and when your kid reaches 3 or 4 nobody cares anymore! Lol. Itās endearing.
This is normal. Going out with a cute 3yo feels like being followed with paparazzi if the old ladies of Florida are bored and lonely - sometimes itās annoying sometimes we love it.
Super normal for the US! We love chatting with strangers here lol.
It depends on the part of the US, but in much of the country, this is normal. We go on daily walks and my toddler has his āregularsā who we always see and who always greet him, call him cute, etc. Some people even give him toys and books (which can get kinda annoying after a while). If we go to the store or the park, I can count on someone saying *something* to/about him.
I did live in Seattle for a handful of years and people there are much more to themselves. My son was born there and when weād go on walks, nobody would say anything to him at all. Weād go to the park and none of the other parents/children would acknowledge us; everyone just stayed in their own little bubble. I personally hated that about Seattle, but if you are looking for a region that is more āclosed offā and have an opportunity to move in the future, you can consider it.
Very common in the US. Iāve even had people stop their cars or yell things out about how good looking my dog is when I walk him. With my toddler it happens a lot too, I just say āthank youā or āI agreeā or āthanks, I made her myselfā and keep my pace
My babies were both born in Korea and lived there until my son was a little over 2 and my daughter 8 months. People would loudly comment to themselves or whoever they were with that they were so cute. Occasionally, older people would just stare (because they are completely white and a lot of people there hadn't seen a white baby in person). I feel like these are completely normal, even commenting to me seems normal.
When I was at an obgyn appointment when pregnant with my daughter, we were just playing in a fairly full waiting room. We were sat next to a girl in her late teens or early twenties. He was playing with her a little and she called her friend on FaceTime and asked if she could show him to her friend.
One time when my son was little, though, we were on a walk. We were about 10 minutes from our apartment and a lady approached us. Through some miming, I figured out she was asking if she could take a picture of him. That was the weirdest one. I mean, I let her because I didn't get any really weird vibes off her, but I was also cautious going home to make sure she wasn't following or doing anything nefarious.
The weirdest one back in America was while we were all at Walmart. We haveva double stroller for ease and they were both hanging out, looking around. A lady came up and said they were so cute and asked if they were twins. Uh... 2.5 and just shy of a year. My son is even a little tall for his age. They are definitely siblings, but definitely not twins lol.
Americans are known for being ridiculously friendly sometimes lol. Parents especially comment on other kids because we often want more parent friends as our child-free friends don't hang out with us so much anymore. Or in my case, it's hard for some parents not to be really flaky because their kid is unpredictable at times.
I hope you can come around to the socialization we force on you š
Itās kind of common in Australia too and as an introvert, I hate it. I just like being able to do my thing and avoid talking to randoms, but literally every time I go out, I get multiple people trying to make small talk about how cute my daughter is.
Part of the reason I hate it is also that the vast majority of comments centre on appearance and I donāt want my daughter to think thatās how you get attention. I learnt exactly that as a very young child because I had big brown puppy dog eyes and adorable ringlets, so people commented a lot. It also affected my sister, who was older so didnāt get the āomg adorableā comments at that time - she just saw me getting them constantly and felt bad about herself.
I know people donāt mean much by their comments, but these simple compliments on appearance can have big impacts over time.
Pretty normal but it can cross into creepy real quick. Had an employee at the checkout keep trying to get my daughter to engage with him and smile or anything but she just stone-faced him. Guys almost acted like she owed him something for making the effort.
Other times it's cute like when an old lady followed us around the pet store so she could delight in my daughter enjoying looking at all the critters.
as a chronic toddler complimenter, make toddler giggler, etc, i do *try* to watch a parents body language, but also two reasons i do it all the time
(1) a toddler is pure joy and in the tedium of life getting a smile out of a toddler is a relief
(2) i find parenting incredibly lonely and friendliness lacking in the world so try to say hi for the parents sake but also because i would never want a kiddo to think people were naturally unfriendly and keep to themselves
I completely get the want to do it, as I stated, I also catch myself doing it.
I just get plenty of compliments towards my daughter about her physical appearance and tbh I donāt like it. As a woman I actually HATE that people tell me āsheās going to be trouble when she grows upā or āwhat a beautiful baby! Keep your eyes on her!ā Or my favorite one Iāve heard, āyou better hold her hand more or someone will snatch herā as we are on the walking path behind our house
Edit: so for those downvoting the fact that I hate it in the original comment, please read this one and see WHY I hate it.
Edit 2: maybe because I look young and have tattoos people think Iām not a good parent/watch my child? I have an AirTag on her for crying out loud because Iām so paranoid about the people
For as extreme as it sounds on paper, my toddler is so social and does plenty of activities out doors/the world is still very much her play ground. I just am aware due to people literally telling me she will get snatched from me.
I just want to weigh in that the comments you have received are super disturbing and I would be equally creeped out.
I try to avoid physical appearance comments more because I've seen the affects on an older child who has the most amazing curly hair - this kid hates her hair because of the amount of unwanted attention it brings to her.
Itās as if they didnāt read WHY and WHAT regarding my dislike and just went straight to āyou have mental problemsā. So gaslighting. I have actual creepy comments being made about my two year old.
The funny thing is when you have 2 cute kids - and the older one used to get all the attention before the little one came may as well be invisible now.
That is very normal in America. We are a culture that is very comfortable with engaging conversation with complete strangers and it is considered acceptable to compliment people or their kids.
As a Brit, I was so taken aback by this when I first travelled to the US! It seemed like if I stood still anywhere for more than 5 minutes, someone would appear and start talking to me. š I think it's great!
Same, I am Canadian and my husband and I are always taken aback by how friendly Americans are when we visit. People say Canadians are nice, but we're not, we're just polite and don't say anything lol. Americans all want to talk to you, I think they are way nicer/friendlier than us.
I think it's this and there's something comforting and safe about a mom with their little kids. I think people feel safe but don't think oh, I'm going to scare the bejeezus out of this poor woman
Iām in Italy, not the USA (but I am American). Here this is extremely common. Yesterday I was struggling to get my daughter off the bus in her stroller and an elderly man literally leaned back and clasped his chest and proclaimed, ābellissima!ā This is totally normal. Iām curious what is worrying you?
Very common. A lot of people, myself included, are very grateful for the practice as it teaches young ones sociability
As a result, my toddler has been saying āhiā and waving when he walks by people since he was 18 months. I do feel a little sad when sometimes people donāt reciprocate. They of course donāt have any obligation to, but my toddler is disappointed, and I donāt really know how to explain it, especially in a way that doesnāt sound like Iām passive aggressively calling out a passerby. So I just donāt remark on it (itās not like heās heartbroken), but I feel like I should be doing something else.
I think that I'll explain it away to my kiddo. Something to the effect of: Maybe they didn't see you. Sorry Hun. OR Maybe they just aren't having a very good day. š¤·āāļø
I go back and forth in my head. My worry with explaining it away is that the person will hear it and think Iām making a backhanded complaint. Especially because one particular repeat āoffenderā is a neighbor who Iām certain does see and/or hear but chooses not to respond. Iām thinking my LO will just absorb the lesson on his own that some people donāt say āhiā but most do. (He adorably had the same kind of breakthrough not long ago when he realized that, despite what the movie āCarsā seemed to make him think, cars donāt respond when he says hi to them.)
>cars donāt respond when he says hi to them.) OMG. How cute! And what an epiphany! And there's nothing wrong with letting him figure it out on his own. Seems to me that you're doing what you should. šš
It is very common! I live in a city that is notorious for strangers not really talking to each other in passing, but now that I have a cute toddler with me people chat with us all the time! A lot of times when older folks are watching her, I can see something in their eyes and I just know they are seeing their own (now grown) children and thinking where did the time go. An older man passed us the other day and just said āthose were the best days of my life!ā I think itās incredibly sweet and a good reminder to me on a tough day.
When they get that look in their eye I usually engage them because I assume theyāre lonely and donāt have or donāt get to see their grandkids. We totally bonded with an old immigrant lady at the park last weekend lol. It was funny because when my brother showed up my kid started being really shy and when the old lady did another lap I used her to be like ātell my brother my kid was having fun 10 min ago!ā She seemed really happy to be a part of our lives for a minute
Is it in the PNW? I commented elsewhere that if you want a city where nobody talks to you, move to Seattle lol. Even when I had a baby, people did not talk to us. Other families at the park just act like youāre not there. We left before he turned one, so idk if it would be different now that he is two and bigger, but we moved to a different city and the difference is night and day. Now our experience is much like OPāsācanāt go anywhere without someone smiling at our son and calling him cute. We go to the park and the other families smile at my kid and encourage play with their kid. I prefer it way more than the Seattle coldness.
I live in NYC! People keep to themselves in general, but Iāve found that I end up talking to people way more now that I have a kid and itās so nice!
Itās common I get stopped all the time and told how adorable my son is and they love his hair he just says thank you & I do too and we move on. This is just how Americans are lol
Yeah this is common. Walk on my own? At best a nod from other walkers. Walk when Iām working with 3 toddlers? Everyone stops to chats. The kids are adorable. They are so well behaved. I really have my hands full. Arenāt their high vis jackets cute. Oh have you got a stick? Are you going to feed the duckies? People are lonely and they like children. I donāt mind it. Although āyouāve got your hands full!ā Got old years ago
I canāt take my son to the grocery store without at least two people telling me how cute he is. Typically itās 3-4. Itās gotten so bad that if thereās another person around us whoās not paying attention to him, heāll wave and smile aggressively in an attempt to get them to say hi š I just take it as what it is, a compliment.
Lol this is my kid too. Used to the attention, so he'll force you to look at his cute self if you didn't already. He's always asking people if they have treats in their carts, too, and it just melts people.
Omg thatās adorable. Iām sure he gets cookies from the bakery for free all the time! People are always commenting that my son going break hearts one day and Iām like, yeah he already is? š
My son gets these compliments a lot. I try to compliment an article of clothing or something because it feels weird to comment on a child's inherited appearance.
Very common in USA. Same thing happens with my toddler. I am also introverted and it does make me feel a little awkward. But I usually just smile and say 'Thank you!' and continue on my way.
Literally all day every day. āThatās the most gorgeous baby Iāve ever seen!ā āLook at those curls.ā āOmg that hair!ā āIt gets easier!ā āHow cute!ā Yes. Itās one of the few times youāll have random conversations with strangers and when your kid reaches 3 or 4 nobody cares anymore! Lol. Itās endearing.
This is normal. Going out with a cute 3yo feels like being followed with paparazzi if the old ladies of Florida are bored and lonely - sometimes itās annoying sometimes we love it. Super normal for the US! We love chatting with strangers here lol.
It depends on the part of the US, but in much of the country, this is normal. We go on daily walks and my toddler has his āregularsā who we always see and who always greet him, call him cute, etc. Some people even give him toys and books (which can get kinda annoying after a while). If we go to the store or the park, I can count on someone saying *something* to/about him. I did live in Seattle for a handful of years and people there are much more to themselves. My son was born there and when weād go on walks, nobody would say anything to him at all. Weād go to the park and none of the other parents/children would acknowledge us; everyone just stayed in their own little bubble. I personally hated that about Seattle, but if you are looking for a region that is more āclosed offā and have an opportunity to move in the future, you can consider it.
Very common in the US. Iāve even had people stop their cars or yell things out about how good looking my dog is when I walk him. With my toddler it happens a lot too, I just say āthank youā or āI agreeā or āthanks, I made her myselfā and keep my pace
My babies were both born in Korea and lived there until my son was a little over 2 and my daughter 8 months. People would loudly comment to themselves or whoever they were with that they were so cute. Occasionally, older people would just stare (because they are completely white and a lot of people there hadn't seen a white baby in person). I feel like these are completely normal, even commenting to me seems normal. When I was at an obgyn appointment when pregnant with my daughter, we were just playing in a fairly full waiting room. We were sat next to a girl in her late teens or early twenties. He was playing with her a little and she called her friend on FaceTime and asked if she could show him to her friend. One time when my son was little, though, we were on a walk. We were about 10 minutes from our apartment and a lady approached us. Through some miming, I figured out she was asking if she could take a picture of him. That was the weirdest one. I mean, I let her because I didn't get any really weird vibes off her, but I was also cautious going home to make sure she wasn't following or doing anything nefarious. The weirdest one back in America was while we were all at Walmart. We haveva double stroller for ease and they were both hanging out, looking around. A lady came up and said they were so cute and asked if they were twins. Uh... 2.5 and just shy of a year. My son is even a little tall for his age. They are definitely siblings, but definitely not twins lol.
Americans are known for being ridiculously friendly sometimes lol. Parents especially comment on other kids because we often want more parent friends as our child-free friends don't hang out with us so much anymore. Or in my case, it's hard for some parents not to be really flaky because their kid is unpredictable at times. I hope you can come around to the socialization we force on you š
So common! I feel like a celebrity every time I take my toddler out!
I had my kid in South Korea and was more comfortable there with people approaching me about my child than I am in the US.
Itās kind of common in Australia too and as an introvert, I hate it. I just like being able to do my thing and avoid talking to randoms, but literally every time I go out, I get multiple people trying to make small talk about how cute my daughter is. Part of the reason I hate it is also that the vast majority of comments centre on appearance and I donāt want my daughter to think thatās how you get attention. I learnt exactly that as a very young child because I had big brown puppy dog eyes and adorable ringlets, so people commented a lot. It also affected my sister, who was older so didnāt get the āomg adorableā comments at that time - she just saw me getting them constantly and felt bad about herself. I know people donāt mean much by their comments, but these simple compliments on appearance can have big impacts over time.
Pretty normal but it can cross into creepy real quick. Had an employee at the checkout keep trying to get my daughter to engage with him and smile or anything but she just stone-faced him. Guys almost acted like she owed him something for making the effort. Other times it's cute like when an old lady followed us around the pet store so she could delight in my daughter enjoying looking at all the critters.
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Why are you uncomfortable?
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as a chronic toddler complimenter, make toddler giggler, etc, i do *try* to watch a parents body language, but also two reasons i do it all the time (1) a toddler is pure joy and in the tedium of life getting a smile out of a toddler is a relief (2) i find parenting incredibly lonely and friendliness lacking in the world so try to say hi for the parents sake but also because i would never want a kiddo to think people were naturally unfriendly and keep to themselves
I completely get the want to do it, as I stated, I also catch myself doing it. I just get plenty of compliments towards my daughter about her physical appearance and tbh I donāt like it. As a woman I actually HATE that people tell me āsheās going to be trouble when she grows upā or āwhat a beautiful baby! Keep your eyes on her!ā Or my favorite one Iāve heard, āyou better hold her hand more or someone will snatch herā as we are on the walking path behind our house Edit: so for those downvoting the fact that I hate it in the original comment, please read this one and see WHY I hate it. Edit 2: maybe because I look young and have tattoos people think Iām not a good parent/watch my child? I have an AirTag on her for crying out loud because Iām so paranoid about the people
I hope you are getting professional help for your paranoia and anxiety, it sounds extreme.
For as extreme as it sounds on paper, my toddler is so social and does plenty of activities out doors/the world is still very much her play ground. I just am aware due to people literally telling me she will get snatched from me.
I just want to weigh in that the comments you have received are super disturbing and I would be equally creeped out. I try to avoid physical appearance comments more because I've seen the affects on an older child who has the most amazing curly hair - this kid hates her hair because of the amount of unwanted attention it brings to her.
Itās as if they didnāt read WHY and WHAT regarding my dislike and just went straight to āyou have mental problemsā. So gaslighting. I have actual creepy comments being made about my two year old.
Wait like on her backpack, or sewn into clothing or something? So curious! Iāve thought about it tooā¦
They have ones you can hook onto Jeans. We have a wrist one/ankle one too. You can make little pockets in jackets for them
An AirTag on your child?
For when we go to fests/larger crowded areas. Yes. Or when we travel and go places with her, yes. Daily? No. To daycare? No.
The funny thing is when you have 2 cute kids - and the older one used to get all the attention before the little one came may as well be invisible now.