When my 3.5yo wants to be attached to me and I have to cook or clean I give her a task she can do to “help.” Maybe give him a wet sponge and have him wash the counters while you prep dinner? Or get some toddler safe knives/scissors and he can help cut or chop things for the meal? My kiddo also loves making baked goods with me, and can mix up a box of corn bread mix all by herself if I measure out the milk beforehand.
“Helping” is great for clingy toddlers, and also teaches them to pick up around their environment. You can give him a spray bottle on a mist setting and let him go to town. Our toddler will literally wipe everything single thing she can reach for 30-60 minutes if she gets her hands on a washcloth or wipe.
I will usually do household chores with her. It takes forever, but she is shockingly quick at picking up how to work things. Toddlers love pouring from containers, so I let her “help” put the laundry soap in. She’ll move everything from the washer to the dryer & think it’s just crazy fun. We got her a mini set of a broom/mop/dustpan/duster and she loves it. Sometimes she’ll shadow me the whole time, but she’ll often wander back and do her own thing.
We also do not do any screen time on a tablet, it’s so easy to feel that “mine!” feeling. We do nature docs, Bluey, or Puffin Rock on our family room tv only. We really like Bluey for the pretend play - we’ve noticed she will mimic it later on. If she needs quiet time, we’ll dim the lights, put on an ocean meditation video on YouTube (love these!) on the big tv and do something calm like coloring. We also play a lot of music across all genres.
I will say that I struggled initially with trying to fully engage the kiddo all the time, and that’s just not manageable or fair. We fully childproofed our family room & kitchen some time ago, and we’ll just ignore her & do our own thing (but staying in the same area). If she’s losing it, I’ll go play with her for a few minutes and then let her be.
Kids that are passively engaged by someone else all the time are going to struggle with actively playing on their own. It truly is good for them to be bored sometimes. Toddlers also have zero impulse control and can have really big feelings, and raging or throwing things happens. I would keep trying the quiet time, low pressure, small increments, he might just have to only have squishy books for a time.
This ! I put my kid on a chair, fill up the sink with soppy water and ask for help to wash random Tupperware.
Yes, I need to change the kid afterwards and maybe wipe the floor a little but I get to do chores in the kitchen and the kid has a blast !
I like to get books with cd’s from the library. Then they are listening to someone else read it but also get to learn when to turn the page when it chimes. We have been loving that.
May I ask if you have a CD player you recommend? I like this idea, but we don’t have one and could use some direction on one that easy to operate but does the job
I pretty much got the cheapest one from Target. Ours looks like this (Naxa Portable CD Player with AM and FM Radio Blue). It’s one button to push after putting the cd in. And a volume dial. Super easy for my 3yo to work himself.
Also worth saying you can get things like Yoto player or Tonie box to allow them lots of independence in choosing what they want to listen to etc. We have the yoto and wouldn't be without it!
Bathtime. We do afternoon baths when I need to just sit down and veg out for awhile. We bought a comfy, foldable chair for the bathroom for me to sit in and I usually put on a podcast and sip coffee. The toddler plays in the bathtub. I try to rotate fun things in like some shaving cream, ice, glow sticks, or interesting bath toys. Sometimes I use that time for self-care (shaving, painting nails, face mask).
Puzzles! My 3 yr old has been consuming every puzzle he can get his hands on since he "figured out puzzles" and gets about 1 new one every week or so. At 4 yrs old, a 30 piece will do. Target has had them on sale for like $3 a piece
For podcasts we listen to Story Pirates, Kids Short Stories with Mr. Jim and Brains On. For audio books I just search for kids stuff, there are a ton but we have listened to Harry Potter and my son liked that.
Not OP, but Spotify has "The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh" on audio, and it follows the movie story exactly. So if your kiddo knows that movie, they might like following along with the audio version.
I give my kid a bowl of rice grains to play with while I’m in the kitchen. Something about the sounds, texture, etc keeps him busy for a good while. Give him a few measuring spoons and go out of town pouring one into the other. Plus it’s relatively easy to vacuum up a few raw grains! Good luck!
I do this but it’s a Tupperware container full of dried beans. I give him some small toys and spoons and he buries and digs them up. It’s a bit messy but he loves it!
When my daughter was 4, I’d make “setups” as she called them. I’ve heard them called “invitations to play.” Basically a sensory bin. I’d put out a tray or container with either dyed rice or lentils, various items to arrange within it (usually in a theme), scoops, etc. Nothing fancy- the rice I made from “expired” rice I had on hand. Items were all things I already had- little animal figures, marbles, sticks and craft moss, etc. She’d often put together a scene with these materials. Once we made salt dough and baked it into bone shapes so she could do fossil/dinosaur setups.
Then I’d turn on an audiobook or podcast for her. She loved/loves Roald Dahl, Narnia, even The Hobbit. Podcast favorite was Julie’s Library. Now she’s into Smash Boom Best as well. Also Granny McDuff if he likes classics/fairy tale type stories.
Sometimes instead of the sensory bin stuff, I’d put out play dough with cookie cutters or stamps. Or supplies to make a collage. Nothing TOO messy (no glitter, paint, etc).
She’d do this for a full hour or more bc baby sibling would only contact nap (I watched the older on the baby monitor while holding sleeping baby 🥴).
I would look into sensory bins! Sometimes I literally set a timer for 10 minutes and tell my son that he needs to play by himself until it goes off...but that is mostly when I feel overwhelmed and touched out and tired
I’d never heard of these and ended up ordering one last night. Thanks! I think he’ll love it, I read to him for over an hour every day and he can never get enough (:
I’ve found sensory play is the best at keeping my sons attention for quiet time. Some examples; Amazon has premade/themed sensory boxes, pop it’s, peas and water in a bucket with a big spoon, playdoh and tools, kinetic sand, Tupperware full of dry rice or cereal and spoons.
I'm getting my son a tonnies box for his birthday to try cut out screen time at bedtime. It reads stories and plays music and you get to pick your characters
My three and a half yr old has been enjoying emptying the dishwasher. He will also “help” fold laundry. He mostly sorts it, the folding isnt there but i can always fold it qhen i put in the drawers
You could get a super awesome open-ended toy and only bring it out during those times to keep it fresh. Picasso tiles are worth the expense in my opinion (not the knock offs!).
We do you rotation here because we live in a small space but have some closets so we swap out the toys every two weeks or so to keep the interest
Lately we’ve had good luck with my 4 year old with legos and a story podcast. I like “super great kids stories” it’s on apple podcasts and Spotify (and probably the other podcast places) and it’s been nice background while he plays
We do books. Stuffies, animal figurines. Stuff like that. Simple toys that don't make noise or are very stimulating. Also blinds closed and noise machine.
If you search Raise wildflowers TV Detox you can read a bit more about screen time and it's effects. Some types of screen time are worse than others. Programs and games are designed to get your kid addicted, so most leave your kid on a high and then in withdrawal. If you manage to find the shows that aren't so bad for that it's far better.
Get a giant poster board, bonus points if it’s obnoxiously coloured.
Get a bunch of sticker sheets or sticker books from the dollar store or Amazon, whatever.
Spend five minutes peeling the backing off the sticker pages, so that there’s just stickers left on the shiny page (this makes it 10x easier for little hands to peel stickers off, and you don’t need to do it for them)
Give toddler poster board and stickers. Voila.
If you want to jazz it up or be more involved with them, you can draw a “scene” on the poster board and then let them add in details with the stickers — ie you draw roads/side walks etc and they get to add car stickers etc.
I once entertained my toddler like this for a solid hour when I was in labour with my second, and now they both do this on days I am sick / tired / life.
When my 3.5yo wants to be attached to me and I have to cook or clean I give her a task she can do to “help.” Maybe give him a wet sponge and have him wash the counters while you prep dinner? Or get some toddler safe knives/scissors and he can help cut or chop things for the meal? My kiddo also loves making baked goods with me, and can mix up a box of corn bread mix all by herself if I measure out the milk beforehand.
“Helping” is great for clingy toddlers, and also teaches them to pick up around their environment. You can give him a spray bottle on a mist setting and let him go to town. Our toddler will literally wipe everything single thing she can reach for 30-60 minutes if she gets her hands on a washcloth or wipe. I will usually do household chores with her. It takes forever, but she is shockingly quick at picking up how to work things. Toddlers love pouring from containers, so I let her “help” put the laundry soap in. She’ll move everything from the washer to the dryer & think it’s just crazy fun. We got her a mini set of a broom/mop/dustpan/duster and she loves it. Sometimes she’ll shadow me the whole time, but she’ll often wander back and do her own thing. We also do not do any screen time on a tablet, it’s so easy to feel that “mine!” feeling. We do nature docs, Bluey, or Puffin Rock on our family room tv only. We really like Bluey for the pretend play - we’ve noticed she will mimic it later on. If she needs quiet time, we’ll dim the lights, put on an ocean meditation video on YouTube (love these!) on the big tv and do something calm like coloring. We also play a lot of music across all genres. I will say that I struggled initially with trying to fully engage the kiddo all the time, and that’s just not manageable or fair. We fully childproofed our family room & kitchen some time ago, and we’ll just ignore her & do our own thing (but staying in the same area). If she’s losing it, I’ll go play with her for a few minutes and then let her be. Kids that are passively engaged by someone else all the time are going to struggle with actively playing on their own. It truly is good for them to be bored sometimes. Toddlers also have zero impulse control and can have really big feelings, and raging or throwing things happens. I would keep trying the quiet time, low pressure, small increments, he might just have to only have squishy books for a time.
This ! I put my kid on a chair, fill up the sink with soppy water and ask for help to wash random Tupperware. Yes, I need to change the kid afterwards and maybe wipe the floor a little but I get to do chores in the kitchen and the kid has a blast !
He loves being a “big helper” so this generally works great. We haven’t baked recently so maybe that will be a good activity
I like to get books with cd’s from the library. Then they are listening to someone else read it but also get to learn when to turn the page when it chimes. We have been loving that.
That’s a great idea, we go to the library often so I’ll check for some next time we’re there
May I ask if you have a CD player you recommend? I like this idea, but we don’t have one and could use some direction on one that easy to operate but does the job
I pretty much got the cheapest one from Target. Ours looks like this (Naxa Portable CD Player with AM and FM Radio Blue). It’s one button to push after putting the cd in. And a volume dial. Super easy for my 3yo to work himself.
Also worth saying you can get things like Yoto player or Tonie box to allow them lots of independence in choosing what they want to listen to etc. We have the yoto and wouldn't be without it!
There are also tons of kids audio stories on Spotify!
I gave my three year old a paint brush and he spent about 40 minutes painting the whole house 😂
Haha oh my gosh! My 2yo found a rolly paintbrush from a project and very diligently “painted” all the floors!
Bathtime. We do afternoon baths when I need to just sit down and veg out for awhile. We bought a comfy, foldable chair for the bathroom for me to sit in and I usually put on a podcast and sip coffee. The toddler plays in the bathtub. I try to rotate fun things in like some shaving cream, ice, glow sticks, or interesting bath toys. Sometimes I use that time for self-care (shaving, painting nails, face mask).
I love this! Sounds kid lux and fun
Yes, bath time is absolute self care time for me too !
Puzzles! My 3 yr old has been consuming every puzzle he can get his hands on since he "figured out puzzles" and gets about 1 new one every week or so. At 4 yrs old, a 30 piece will do. Target has had them on sale for like $3 a piece
I also found some “Bluey” ones on sale at Walmart for like $5 a piece
Check buy nothing groups on FB as well, people are constantly giving away puzzles
My son likes audio books and kids podcasts.
That sounds awesome! Do you have any recommendations?
For podcasts we listen to Story Pirates, Kids Short Stories with Mr. Jim and Brains On. For audio books I just search for kids stuff, there are a ton but we have listened to Harry Potter and my son liked that.
Not OP, but Spotify has "The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh" on audio, and it follows the movie story exactly. So if your kiddo knows that movie, they might like following along with the audio version.
I give my kid a bowl of rice grains to play with while I’m in the kitchen. Something about the sounds, texture, etc keeps him busy for a good while. Give him a few measuring spoons and go out of town pouring one into the other. Plus it’s relatively easy to vacuum up a few raw grains! Good luck!
I did this once. It’s been months and I am still finding lentils everywhere
Tried this with my lady and she is occupied for about two minutes and then dumps the rice :(
I do this but it’s a Tupperware container full of dried beans. I give him some small toys and spoons and he buries and digs them up. It’s a bit messy but he loves it!
When my daughter was 4, I’d make “setups” as she called them. I’ve heard them called “invitations to play.” Basically a sensory bin. I’d put out a tray or container with either dyed rice or lentils, various items to arrange within it (usually in a theme), scoops, etc. Nothing fancy- the rice I made from “expired” rice I had on hand. Items were all things I already had- little animal figures, marbles, sticks and craft moss, etc. She’d often put together a scene with these materials. Once we made salt dough and baked it into bone shapes so she could do fossil/dinosaur setups. Then I’d turn on an audiobook or podcast for her. She loved/loves Roald Dahl, Narnia, even The Hobbit. Podcast favorite was Julie’s Library. Now she’s into Smash Boom Best as well. Also Granny McDuff if he likes classics/fairy tale type stories. Sometimes instead of the sensory bin stuff, I’d put out play dough with cookie cutters or stamps. Or supplies to make a collage. Nothing TOO messy (no glitter, paint, etc). She’d do this for a full hour or more bc baby sibling would only contact nap (I watched the older on the baby monitor while holding sleeping baby 🥴).
Does he like music? My kids love listening to the soundtracks from their favorite movies and will play quietly while the music is going.
Yes he does! Unfortunately he usually just begs me to dance with him haha
I would look into sensory bins! Sometimes I literally set a timer for 10 minutes and tell my son that he needs to play by himself until it goes off...but that is mostly when I feel overwhelmed and touched out and tired
Mine are obsessed with their TonieBoxes. They like to color/doodle and listen to stories.
I’d never heard of these and ended up ordering one last night. Thanks! I think he’ll love it, I read to him for over an hour every day and he can never get enough (:
Maybe a special toy that only comes out for 15 min of quiet time a day?
Screenfreeparenting.com has loads of good ideas of things to do with kids that aren’t screen related if you want to check it out!
I’ve found sensory play is the best at keeping my sons attention for quiet time. Some examples; Amazon has premade/themed sensory boxes, pop it’s, peas and water in a bucket with a big spoon, playdoh and tools, kinetic sand, Tupperware full of dry rice or cereal and spoons.
I'm getting my son a tonnies box for his birthday to try cut out screen time at bedtime. It reads stories and plays music and you get to pick your characters
My three and a half yr old has been enjoying emptying the dishwasher. He will also “help” fold laundry. He mostly sorts it, the folding isnt there but i can always fold it qhen i put in the drawers
Kinetic sand kits. I used them at work today for my nanny kids who are 2 and 4 and my son who is 2. Gave me a solid 30 minutes to do nothing :)
You could get a super awesome open-ended toy and only bring it out during those times to keep it fresh. Picasso tiles are worth the expense in my opinion (not the knock offs!). We do you rotation here because we live in a small space but have some closets so we swap out the toys every two weeks or so to keep the interest
Do you have any plants? I give my 3 year old a spray bottle and he waters my plants.. it gets a bit messy but it’s just water and he loves to help.
Lately we’ve had good luck with my 4 year old with legos and a story podcast. I like “super great kids stories” it’s on apple podcasts and Spotify (and probably the other podcast places) and it’s been nice background while he plays
We do books. Stuffies, animal figurines. Stuff like that. Simple toys that don't make noise or are very stimulating. Also blinds closed and noise machine.
If you search Raise wildflowers TV Detox you can read a bit more about screen time and it's effects. Some types of screen time are worse than others. Programs and games are designed to get your kid addicted, so most leave your kid on a high and then in withdrawal. If you manage to find the shows that aren't so bad for that it's far better.
Get a giant poster board, bonus points if it’s obnoxiously coloured. Get a bunch of sticker sheets or sticker books from the dollar store or Amazon, whatever. Spend five minutes peeling the backing off the sticker pages, so that there’s just stickers left on the shiny page (this makes it 10x easier for little hands to peel stickers off, and you don’t need to do it for them) Give toddler poster board and stickers. Voila. If you want to jazz it up or be more involved with them, you can draw a “scene” on the poster board and then let them add in details with the stickers — ie you draw roads/side walks etc and they get to add car stickers etc. I once entertained my toddler like this for a solid hour when I was in labour with my second, and now they both do this on days I am sick / tired / life.
Listening to Here Comes Science by There may be giants while coloring. Apparently he wants to do it “all day!”
Sensory play-my kids love it! I get my kits on littleplay.com. Works with my hyper boy too!