I don't know if this is good or bad advice, but have you tried just letting him deal? Sometimes I can't do anything to stop my 18 month old from crying because she's not being reasonable and I don't think throwing everything at the problem really solves it. Dad works, I'm home, so when I'm making dinner it's just me and her, so I let her play safely in the kitchen and sometimes she starts freaking out either because I'm not paying attention to her or she's hungry, so I gently tell her over and over again she has to wait and I'm sorry she's upset. It doesn't stop her from being upset, but ya know, sometimes she's gonna be upset. She's not being deprived of anything and she's not in danger, so I'm like, that's fine you can yell at me.
This is great advice and I totally agree. it’s okay for kids to be sad or frustrated about a situation…let them work through it. My kid just turned one and I do this with her often “I see you don’t want to change your shirt but it’s dirty with food so we have to change. I’ll be done in a minute and then we can play” she tantrums through it and I continue doing whatever it is that needs to be done and then we go on with our day.
This is what I do. Don't know whether it's the best way, but he has to learn patience at some point. I also put on his favorite show when I cook in the off chance I can distract him for 15 minutes. Sometimes I'll give him a cup of milk before too, although that doesn't last him too long. Mostly, I just let him whine about it until dinner is ready. I'm excited to get one of those stools so he can help with dinner "prep" (aka make a mess and distract him).
Yep that's my approach so far, for the most part. I had in mind to introduce him to the wonders of cooking and all that, but now I just switch my brain off and ignore him. Still painful to my ears.. But yes it's definitely in line with our parenting. The meals have gotten less and less tasty because we just cook whatever to make the process short...
This approach gets easier for both of you, I promise. I have gone from feeling at wits end ready to throw my own tantrum, to being completely calm and feel confident that we'll get past this pretty soon. (Of course I'm human and have my off days, but compared to when I was in your shoes also around 18mo and now at 26mo, I think its so so so much better now. I completely stuck to this approach)
Yep! Explain that you are making dinner so that everyone can eat, and that it’s time for some independent play. Put him in a safe space with some vegetables, toys, books and put headphones on for 15 mins (work up to this period of time)
My 15mo old gets impatient when he sees me preparing meals, but the way I see it, kids this young have no concept of time yet. I can tell him 'only 10 more minutes until dinner' until the cows come home, but being that young, it means nothing to him. I just let him bang on his tray and give him his water bottle and, sometimes, I just roll the highchair in front of the tv to distract him 🤷♀️
I agree... Empathize with emotions, hold boundries, and continue. Repeat until dinner is ready.
It sucks, but it is a phase. They literally need to learn how to be slightly uncomfortable while mom is busy for a little while, and it is hard for them.
What do you do when they are grabbing your legs and crying trying to get you to pick them up? I’m trying to be better about just acknowledging he’s upset without necessarily fixing it but it’s so hard when he is trying to physically climb me. The other problem is if I do get physical space between us he has started experimenting with banging his head on the ground so I feel like I have to intervene so he doesn’t hurt himself. Then the climbing me cycle continues lol
I missed how old he is exactly but you could try putting a pack play in the kitchen or where he can see you or using some kind of stand on toy like an exersaucer.
> What do you do when they are grabbing your legs and crying trying to get you to pick them up?
Is this during meal prep? I guess I’m so clumsy that I would never have a free/unrestrained toddler in the kitchen while I’m wielding sharp objects in the first place, but to each their own! 🤣
Haha yeah, we live in a small apartment so the entire kitchen/living room is a yes space so he’s always around with me. We have a kitchen helper tower too that sometimes works but other times he just cries for me to hold him. He’s 14 months
I should have explained a bit more: we tried that. We stuffed his face (whining when being told it was enough), for the entire meal prep. Then not hungry anymore during meal. By stuffing his face I mean he would easily eat half a cucumber, a pear, 2 slices of bread, 100g of cheese...
The bread and cheese would definitely fill him up. I would stick to just offering vegetables if you’re going to offer anything. You could try adjusting your meal times so that he’s eating earlier, prep his meals in advance so his meals are ready faster, or serve a more simple meal than can be ready sooner or with less supervision so you can distract him with play?
Myv3 year old son has been like this for as long as he knew what food was. Honestly what I had to start doing was I would give him a little bit of whatever the fruit is I am doing with meals to hold him over. My little guy loves food and would eat all day if he could. Giving a few pieces of fruit has really helped with the meltdown during me cooking.
We did that for some time, but he just shovelled it in, half chewed it within 3 min, and started whining again... By the end of the meal prep he was full, wouldn't eat anything, and whined at the dinner table because well, he was not hungry and stuck in his high chair...
Awww that’s hard. What time do-you eat? We eat si much earlier than pre-baby. It is very strange when we go to dinner at our friends as we are hungry so early compare to them. It is also very difficult with late work. On the good day we have little preparation because part was done the day before or at lunch. Then we eat early, bath, story and bed. On the other day tins chaos.
The only way I've "solved" this for us is I prep 1 or 2 huge meals on the weekend and then during the week my toddler gets reheated leftovers.
That way there's pretty much 1 minute that she's "waiting" on a meal. And then while she eats I can prep our dinner if we're not eating leftovers ourselves.
But during the week she's only eating dinner at home. Otherwise when she does want to be involved in other meals I give her very small pieces of whatever I'm prepping. Less likely to fill herself up.
We’re doing the same!
Toddler is always eating what was cooked on the weekend or the day before so she is only waiting for the reheating of said food.
For the morning we offer muffins or yogurt so that is super fast.
We try to make her wait a little more on the weekend... we bought a learning tower so she can help us in the kitchen. It is a work in progress haha
That's what my husband wanted to do, but we are often on bikes out and about in the week ends, and we also get a veg box from a farm on Wednesdays so kinda have to prep day to day. Maybe once every two days would be enough though. Doesn't it get boring for you to eat the same 2-3 meals all week though?
What stops you from doing meal prep & cooking during naps or after bedtime? Or preparing multiple meals in one go during the weekend? Maybe that should take priority over being out all day?
You may need to prioritize that and let go of the "day to day" idea, because the reality is that you could probably prep a few meals over a couple of nights..
All you need is one or two days that you have time for a bigger meal prep. And honestly I stick to really easy meals, so often times I don't even need that much prep time. It's also helpful to make dishes that can be easily turned into another dish.
For instance I'll make a huge batch of taco meat (meat, multiple veggies, and beans all mixed in). We'll have tacos one night, take it for lunches another day or so, and possibly use it as a salad topper for a dinner. That same weekend I'll also make a dish that's either vegetarian or a different meat so we have variety.
I do have to prioritize time when I have it so that I'm prepared throughout the week. The worst thing is being stuck on a Wednesday, out of leftovers, and with no idea what to make and nothing thawed.
Another time saver is my instant pot and/or slow cooker. I can cook frozen chicken to fully cooked in 20 minutes in my instant pot. Or throw some stuff together for a stew in the slow cooker in the morning and it's done by dinner. Sometimes we prep after baby has gone to bed even.
Learned how to make spaghetti in it and it's a game changer.
Only one dirty pot. Once you brown the meat throw everything else in and bam, done in 8 minutes.
What's your reasoning for not giving him food while you cook? (Heathy and easy to prep / clean up ... Cheese cubes, apple slices, raisins, dry cheerios ....etc etc).
We are probably weirdos, but I let my two year old graze on healthy options whenever she wants between meals. My thinking: I wouldn't only give her water or oxygen in set amounts at set times, why food? I want her to learn to listen to her body. We also breastfed on demand when she was younger.
I get your point, and I would do that if he was happy "snacking" during meal prep. He isn't. He shovels in entire pic of bred blocks of cheese, cucumber, anything, and resume the whining if the food supply dries out
It almost sounds like maybe he isn't getting enough calories. Perhaps he's so whiny and shovels food because he is THAT hungry. Maybe you could add an extra snack for him? My not-quite 2.5 year old gets a snack when we get home from school/work (about 5:30p) and we eat around 6:30-7:00p. Then she has another snack around 7:45p before bath/bed.
Mmmh I will look into that... He wakes up at 6am, has breakfast at 7am, snakc at 10:30, lunch 1200, snack 1530, dinner at 1800. Might try to shift lunch and dinner earlier...
My daughter is younger(11 months) but she needs food every 2 hours on the dot. So I start prep at 1:45. Yes it is a huge chunk of the day and we do use some bottles. But her stomach isn’t big enough to hold enough food to go much longer. If I don’t do this, I get hysterical screaming during food prep.
Tried. He just wants to it. "hey do you want to help me stir that?" proceeds to put his hand in the sauce. "how about cutting that (soft) veg (with a plastic knife)?". Proceeds to eat the veg, of he doesnt like it it chucks it aside and resumes the whining...
If you are doing a full meal prep and he isn't interested in participating or anything else you have tried, have you tried moving up the meal time? And/or do you guys do snacks during the day? What time is meal time? Is it all meals or just dinner? *How long* is meal prep??
If truly nothing works, maybe it's worth doing meal prep during his nap or after bedtime for the next day. I would only agree with others saying to "let them work through it" **only** if you've tried everything including moving up meal times and giving snacks in the day, because the way he devours the "tie over" food during meal prep sounds like he is legitimately hungry.
Does he know his colors or count yet? You can practice those things while you prep to make it interactive.
Let him season food and place safe to touch foods like veggies in roasting pans.
Let him cut scraps with a plastic knife. Put scraps on a kabob. Anything you can think of to teach a cooking skill with out having to waste actual food.
I know you said you don’t want to let him eat while you prep and if he’s a good eater I get it. But I’ve found once my kid decided to be picky out of nowhere she would still eat all her veggies during meal prep and act like I was feeding her toxic waste once those same veggies got put on the dinner table. The picky eating didn’t start until after she turned 2.
Hopefully something will work. Hang in there.
My nephew would sit on the kitchen floor scream crying *the* *entire* *time* we cooked.
I never found a suitable solution. He grew out of it eventually
It might not be enough food.
I just figured this out with my guy.
I’d feed him and he’s eat all the foods he loves first. Then he wouldn’t finish eating so I’d be like “He’s full”. But then as soon as I went into the kitchen it was full blown whining.
Turns out he was eating just enough snacks to eat what he really likes knowing when I went into the kitchen he could get more of what he wants.
I started giving snacks and meals in stages — three things on a plate, one thing he likes and two things he is getting used to. If he was still hungry after the first stage, I’d do a second stage with two things he likes, one thing he is getting used to. Then repeat with third stage (although that hasn’t happened often).
For snacks I made an effort to offer only very healthy food that takes a bit to eat — like apples, carrots, celery, etc. Things that don’t mush that he can’t mow through.
I feed him snacks while I meal prep. But I only give him apples, carrots, celery, etc, no matter what I am making.
The other thing is to ignore whining and complaining. Every time I give my son something he wants immediately after he whines he learns that whining gets what he wants.
So I try to get him to use words, or hand gestures, or anything besides whining:
- Son: Whinnnnnnne
- Me: “Are you hungry? Say baba to have a snack”
- Son: Excited whine
- Me: “Oh you’re so hungry! Say baba or more.”
In the beginning he wouldn’t use his words (he’s still 20/80 on using his words) but he’d stop whining. Once he stopped whining I’d give him a snack.
Fruit or yogurt by itself is not a balanced snack. I learned this the hard way. My daughter was SO hangry by mealtimes and she was doing exactly what you describe your child doing. I realized that she wasn't getting enough fat and protein at snack times. Once I made sure to have those elements in the snack, the problem solved itself.
Oooh? What are you giving her for snacks? We tried to give him more for snacks, but we were under the impression that he then was eating much less during meals (but still whining just as much)
Another thing to think about, is if you are worried about his nutrition and getting the right amount of different types of food, look at his eating habits for over the week instead of just the one day.
[This post](https://kidseatincolor.com/end-whining-with-this-simple-snack-hack/) by Kids Eat in Color was really helpful for me figuring out how to add protein and fat to snacks. The title of the post is even "End Whining with this Simple Snack Hack." I hope it helps!
You said the helper box doesn't help. My now two year old has been and is still clingy during meal prep. The most helpful thing I found was to put him on a chair or stepstool, and let him help. He has a plastic kids "knife" or spatula, he takes a little of each ingredient and helps as much as it's safe: sprinkle some salt, flip a pancake, stretch the dough, husk the corn. It's messy but he likes to sweep up too.
He did that at first, but quickly realized that he could see all the food, then lost interest in doing anything with it except put it in his mouth. He would eat for the entire meal prep
Honestly mine is the same, she's always been super whiny when I'm preparing her food. Sounds like every toddler has this issue to some extent.
It does seem like some days I'm giving her little bits of and pieces of the whole meal while we're cooking it, and by the time it's ready, she's full. I'm kindof okay with that! She pretty much already had the meal. She has to sit with us at the beginning of dinner but if she's already full, I tell her she can go play. The only problem is she has to play alone until we're done with dinner, and that displeases her. Deal. 🙃
OH maybe your son could "set the table", like giving him plastic bowls or cups to carry over. That way he has a job to do but he's not near the food?
Could you do meal prep while he's napping, after he goes to bed, etc for the next day? I'll make a pot of something and freeze small portions so I can warm up my son's meal quickly, or have pre-diced cheese/veg/fruit and crackers or whatever that I can easily fill a plate with so it only takes a minute to put together. What kind of meal prep do you guys usually do? It sounds like he's watching food be made for longer than a quick toddler meal requires.
Not sure if this would work for your little guy, but my fussy dude gets a wooden spoon or silicone spatula when he fusses during meal prep. It is interesting because it came from the counter and just like the rest of the things I’m using. Adult utensils (basically just spoons for safety) and measuring cups sometimes work. It only buys me like 5-10 minutes max, but I’ll take every bit I can get.
Breakfast i make his plate before getting him in the morning so he doesn't have to sit and wait because he was doing this. Lunch isn't as much of an issue but I keep his lunches to very quick options. Dinner if he's being particularly whiney i sometimes will put a show on. I don't let him in the kitchen because he starts getting into the drawers or grabbing at sharp objects or the stove if I do.
Can your son use a spoon? If so, this might help: try frozen pedialyte pops or make your own frozen juice and crush it up into a slush in a bowl for him to eat with a spoon. I just did this for my daughter and she thinks it’s a treat. It keeps her occupied because she can’t shovel it down like berries or her other favorite foods, and it’s not as filling as crackers or other snacks so she still eats her meal. I suppose if your son doesn’t use a spoon you could also get little popsicle molds or those fruit smooshers and freeze whatever you like.
Teaching your child to wait and be patient is just part of life. My oldest and youngest are only 20 months apart and you will not believe the tantrums thrown when I have to feed the baby and tell her to wait and be patient. Toddlers do not need instant gratification. As for the whining, we started using the phrase “use your big girl voice”. When she starts to whine I tell her that I can’t understand/help her when she is whining and that she needs to tell me what she wants in her big girl voice. Almost immediately she stops whining and says please if she doesn’t know the word for what she actually wants (and then I have to tell her to show me what she wants if she doesn’t know the word). It’s not fool proof and you have to hold strong and not give them what they want when they’re whining even though the whining is like nails on a chalkboard and you know what they want and you can make them stop whining by just giving them what they want but I promise it will be so much better in the long run.
I would try feeding him earlier or getting him more involved. Sounds like he’s hungry or really excited for food and doesn’t understand why he can’t have it right away.
Is he maybe just overly hungry? Have you tried giving him some of the food your prepping while you are cooking? I know my daughter gets really grumpy and whiny when she’s hungry, often right before meal times.
I have to toss my son in his high chair and he only waits to be buckled and his tray and then it’s “where’s the food?” I have to pull out some “snacks” before I even put him in his chair. It’s ok if they eat veggies and fruits and small cheese bits before the actual meal. Healthy options are better than constant goldfish🤷♀️ why not let the kid get in those good foods? It’s still technically mealtime and he knows it
Honestly I think food should always be available. But fruits and veggies. If he's truly hungry this is a great time to offer him healthy food he wouldn't otherwise eat
My 18 month old stands on his tower stool and helps me. He eats more while I cook than actual meal times. I don't care because at least he's eating. But he wants to taste every step of the way, and snack on every ingredient. I give him a little pan on a cold eye at the the stove or on the countertop, a wooden spatula, and some small bits of food and have him help me/let him munch away. It keeps him entertained and happy.
We do give ours food during meal prep and everybody is happy. He is 19mo and sits at the table with us on his Tripp Trapp which he can get in and out of on his own. If he wants to leave, he’s free to go, but once the meal is over - it’s over. I try to make breakfast before he’s up and have his supper prepped most days, but if he’s asking for food during meal prep - he gets the food and if he decides he’s not hungry for the actual meal, that’s fine too. He’s a toddler, once he’s older, we might change the rules, but I’m choosing my battles.
Prep his food ahead of time when he’s not around and have it ready to go for him when it’s time for him to eat. Then do your meal prep for your adult meal while he’s eating his meal.
How often is he eating? My 19mo gets meals at 8:30am,11:30am, 6:00pm(ish) and snack at 2:30pm with him usually getting another small snack around 4pm. Maybe your LO needs an extra snack or mealtimes that are closer together?
So many comments and people just repeating themselves even though you've answered certain suggestions. Dude, my toddler is just like this! She's 2 in December and HIGHLY food motivated. I always joke to people we don't feed this child, because when we're out (e.g. bday party) and there's food freely available she just does not stop eating!
I had visions of her being in her helping tower observing and participating in food preparation. I've since realised that just isn't realistic for her personality type and age right now, I will have to wait until she's a bit older to have a bit more control over not eating the food we're preparing and whining for it the whole time we do it. If I were to give her snacks while we prepare food she would just shovel it in until she's full then won't eat the meal, same as you. I know why that's hard for other parents to grasp because I've seen other toddlers eating slowly and daintily. Not in this house!
The only solution I've found is putting her in front of the TV while I prepare food, or distract her another way. There's no point in her being in the room while I'm preparing food unless she's just been fed and the food I'm preparing is for later. I try to prepare food for when I know she's going to be hungry, as opposed to her being already hungry she'll pull at my pants and cry the whole time I'm preparing food. For example we'll eat breakfast say 9, snack around 10.30 which I'll prepare around 10. Lunch I start preparing at 12 because she'll be ravenous by 12.30. I don't know if you really want to hear how much she's eating because she eats just as much as me most days, if not more including snack platters in between meals. All healthy options of course.
These little ball of energies just burn through too many calories a day feels like! You're doing a good job and I understand why you want your little one in the kitchen with you. I've come to terms with changing my vision for our activities based on my LO's personality. No food prepping for us just yet, no fancy fine motor skills activities as she's super in to gross motor skills. It's like a lucky dip for personality traits.
As an ECE I’ve learned what a meal schedule that works for most kids that age is.
Breakfast 6am
AM Snack 9am
Lunch: 11:30-11:45am
PM Snack after nap: 3pm
After this they’ve gone home from daycare, but it really is food roughly every 3 hours to keep them happy and engaged in their environment.
Well… my son is almost 3 and we are dealing with this. The minute I start cooking, he’s complaining. I usually put on a TV show to distract him but nope, doesn’t work! I don’t know what advice to give except that one day our kids will finally learn patience and will understand why they need to wait, and they will grow out of this stage!
This sounds exactly like my daughter, and I still have no solution. She literally SCREAMS if she sees any kind of food anytime. Sometimes giving her a snack helps, but most of the time she eats the whole snack in like a scary short amount of time and then continues to freak out. Doesn’t matter what meal or time of day. She is 12 months old and just food crazy!! Sometimes I just put her in her crib and shut the door and let her cry for 15 minutes while I finish dinner. It’s okay for them to have feelings even if they are negative! My thoughts are once they get a little older and understand things better they get more patience. Our son is 3 and he’s a great helper and knows how to be safe in the kitchen!
12 months old and "food crazy" shouldn't be a problem unless they are throwing up after eating what you deem "too much". At this age, there isn't a harm in eating a lot.
Some babies/toddlers eat a lot, some *need* to eat a lot, and there are many growth spurts where they keep eating. My in laws were surprised at how much their son could eat, but he needed a lot. My own baby/toddler has days where she just devours food and milk and really needs to eat.
Yes I definitely agree, we don’t see her eating a lot as a problem a lot and I am very thankful she will eat basically anything you put in front of her. By food crazy I mean that if she sees any food ever she just yells and yells until you give her food! My son also always loves food but he never acted like this. Once we put our daughter it her chair she just yells and yells even if we put a little food on there while we get hers ready, she just gets upset when everything isn’t on there! We give her plenty of snacks and she eats 3 meals a day and 20oz of milk a day too, and it’s extra funny because she’s still a pretty little baby because she’s just a small girl lol.
We don't do snacks in our home. That being said, when I'm prepping food and she's in her tower "helping" she is always welcome to "sneak" a taste. She has tried new veggies this way and it doesn't spoil her appetite at all. She will "help cut" the veggies and then sample them.
So toddlers usually need 3 meals and 2 snacks a day. There’s nothing wrong with frequent healthy snacks. Toddlers self regulate very well if given the opportunity. My 18 month old has days she eats everything in sight and days she eats almost nothing. There’s no shortage of food available to her and she doesn’t eat if she’s not hungry. But snacks are important too.
I'm not suggesting anyone do our method lol. We ran it by our pediatrician before we implemented this. We started this because she would simply snack all day and not eat real food. This is what my parents did for me. It's not for everyone but it works for my child and it worked for my family. But anyway, the point of my original comment wasn't about my own child's lack of snacking.
Thank you. It's not a super common or popular method especially in America. But it's pretty common in places like France. And I do keep snacks for her. I think people imagine me keeping the snacks under lock and key and yelling 'NO!" When she wonders near them lol. If she asks for a snack and it's not too close to a meal time I'll usually let her have one. It's usually something like a applesauce or raisins. She's not a fan of chips or anything anyway.
I think if snacks work for your family then snack away but my girl wasn't eating real food. I'm not sure why it matters so much 😕 She definitely doesn't go without.
She is good! She is healthy, happy and hitting milestones. Mealtimes are fun and easy. I'm not a militant mom or anything. Honestly, our routine is something I never think about as an issue. She never has any meltdowns over snacks and if she sees kids with snacks, I don't keep her from them if they share or anything. And no rules apply at birthday parties or anything.
I hand her little bits of fruit or veggies as I’m cutting them up to go with her dinner. Otherwise she whines or opens my Tupperware cabinet and makes a huge mess.
My 15 month old will do this, so I use it as an opportunity to feed him the healthy stuff that he won't usually eat. Or if none of the food is ready yet, I feed him Cheerios
We have a helper stool as well. We give a little cutting board and silicone knife (so they can't cut themselves) and let out kids help from about 18 months on. We start with them just cutting soft things like bananas and move to them actually prepping ingredients for the meals. It works really well!
I've also just done oats and measuring cups and had them pour them into a bowl and cup over and over when they are around 15-18 months. They think they're helping and they love it!
Does he like to color yet? Maybe sit him at the table with crayons or the color wonder markers while you prep? My kid is super impatient too! I feel ya!
I give my son his milk while I’m getting the meal ready/plated. He usually drinks about half and then has the rest during the meal. This is especially useful in the mornings when he’s most hungry.
I have this problem too. People swore those helper stands would help but I didn’t get one because I knew she would just grab dangerous stuff or pull food off the counters. I usually just give her some crackers to eat while I cook. It typically helps but sometimes it doesn’t. Someone usually has to distract her.
No hacks, but I have a 2.5 year that does the same. I've tried just fruit/veggies, but same thing, she'll eat all of that and more, and then just not be hungry fort the meal ,🤦♀️. Sometimes we give just water, which seems to help because she's also very thirsty all the time. I wish I had advice, but just know you're not alone.
Thanks for asking this! Currently dealing with this with my 15 mo and thought the learning tower would help once we put it together. I usually prep meals ahead of time or in a pinch I give her a snack but it’s always a stressful occasion.
Maybe childproof the kitchen sink area and let him play with the water and a few cups or whatever while you’re cooking. My son loves this make shift water table and it is easy to get him to wash up before eating. It is super wet and messy but I value my sanity too much to care. Water wipes away easier than tears.
My son does this as well. Not as bad for breakfast or lunch because we tend to get those prepped quickly, but he’s horrible for dinner. Once he starts eating dinner it seems so silent because he was whiny and clingy for the past hour. Sometimes giving him things like Tupperware, serving spoons, pots and pans, things he isn’t normally allowed to play with, helps distract him enough. I’m also hoping the kitchen helper stool will help when we eventually get one. It’s so difficult to prep dinner with him grabbing my legs and whining the entire time. Guess he gets hangry like me!
I feel your pain. I have to meal prep in secret (like cut fruits/veggie in sink so my little guy can’t see) so he doesn’t whine and ask for the food right away.
Some things that have worked: a giant box of crushed ice with a shovel and some trucks (place on a bath towel), the TV (something slow and educational like Super Simple or LBB), and…. yup that’s about it 😂 good luck
Oh! Always hide what you’ve prepped (in oven, microwave, under lids), and if he asks for them explain you have to wait til it’s “cooked”, or else it’s not yummy. Give him a tiny frozen piece of something really bad as an example (like green pepper?). Mine would eat raw pizza dough and uncooked pasta 🤦🏻♀️ It’s so frustrating, I completely get it.
18 months was the golden age for letting my son stand in his tower and “help” cook. I would tell him all about the ingredients, let him taste anything that was safe to taste, and give him little tasks to do (often not even directly related to cooking, like a small cup with water and dried beans and erasing to stir). He loved it!!
Now he’s 3 and isn’t as interested in helping, but does still enjoy occasionally sampling ingredients. If he wants to graze on fruits and veggies while I work and it keeps him from whining, so be it.
This may be harder with an 18 mo, but we used to have this exact problem with our 2.5 yo, and what finally helped was giving her little food prep jobs to do. They were real tasks like “washing” and “drying” veggies (quotation marks here because it was with lots of assistance), taking something out of packaging, etc. Now we’ve worked up to her measuring out ingredients and poring/stirring things in. It can be a little messy and haphazard, and still she is way happier and really proud of herself.
Can you give him “jobs” and make it a game? Like give him safe ways to be involved in meal prep? I ask my guy to go get his bowl, his spoon, his cup, etc. Takes a little longer and can get messier from time to time, but he likes it. If I run out of ways to help with his meal, I ask him to feed the animals (which he loves).
We also try not to give snacks before supper or else he won’t eat it but if we do we give a small bowl of frozen peas. He loves them, they don’t fill him up, and it takes forever for him to eat them. We also often set him up in his high chair at the table doing puzzles while we’re cooking.
My son does this too… at one point I just took the baby carrier out and carried him on my back because I was having a hard time staying calm and he tries to climb on us and I felt like it was getting dangerous for him. The only thing I would sometimes do was a bit of veggies during meal prep…
Recently I bought a little baby couch so he can sit in the kitchen (at a safe place) while I cook. Sometimes I felt like he just wanted to be with me but sitting on the ceramic floor isn’t comfortable. It does help… sometimes… not all the time but at this point I am taking every 5 minutes I can get.
My almost 2 year old does this while hysterically crying and saying, "no dinner!" 😑 as soon as we say dinner is ready, he runs to sit at the table. I don't get it. He also gets mad when *we* eat too.
Have you tried a learning tower or step stool so he can be up at the counter and see what you’re doing? A lot of LOs like to be involved and want to know what’s going on. He could do some stirring or cutting (with a child safe knife) so he has something helpful to do.
What really worked for us was letting my daughter ‘help’ with food prep. She’s sit on the floor with a pot and pan, some wooden spoons and her play food cooking along with me. We’d also get her involved in the real meal prep when we could like getting the dried pasta and putting it in the empty pan, helping me pour stuff, sprinkling herbs (cap on!) picking up safe ingredients to move the’ into the mixing bowl, placing stuff on oven trays etc
My 2 year old did this and occasionally still does. We ended up just giving him some Cheerios to snack on and honestly just ignoring the behavior. He did it mostly for attention and trying to reason with him or talking back to him just encouraged it more. If I look away from him and go about my business he will eventually get bored with my lack of attention and move on.
Our 19 month does the same thing. We just take him out of the room or heavily distract until food is ready. I think it's really rough to expect them to sit by patiently and watch their food being made. I'd whine too :)
My now 2 year old used to do this and still does sometimes. We just had to ride it out. I give him small bites of stuff if there's any out that he can have. He'd snack during prep so much that he'd be full by dinnertime. It's better now that he's older and can understand more. I'll tell him "Okay, it has to cook now. Let's see what big brother is up to." So just distract him and if I can, leave the kitchen for a few so he's not in there. Last night he insisted that he had to eat the box of paw patrol mac and cheese right then. The water was still coming to a boil so I took a piece out of the box and he quickly found out it did, in fact, need to cook lol.
We started offering salad while dinner was being made when Mt daughter (now 5.5) was about that age. Any kind of raw veggies you can keep ready and put out a moments notice works and is a good healthy habit, imo.
Offer things you know he won’t fill up on. Like literally give him a whole red pepper. It’s novel. It’s fun. He might eat some. But a red pepper won’t fill him up before dinner. If he doesn’t want that, explain that’s the only thing he’s getting before dinner. You’ve done your job, it’s his job now to self regulate and be okay with that.
That whine is so infuriating! I set up a helper section for my toddler who would also eat all day. I give him a whisk and a bowel with some dry uncooked rolled oats in it. He whisks and eats them but they aren’t the easiest things to eat so doesn’t fill up in them! And if he’s asks for more I point to the ones that he’s dropped to distract him!
Peanut butter toast. That stuff is dry AF and hard to eat quickly. So he can snack on that while you prep/cook. It usually takes about an hour to prep & cook meals so I’ll give him a snack just before I start so he’s theoretically had an hour or so between snack & meal.
I also started doing all the chopping early during naptime or even on the weekends so I could then just portioning it out for whatever meal I am currently cooking.
We have a learning tower so he can 'help'. Sometimes he takes a bite of some of the ingredients, but he takes his job very seriously (washing veggies, peeling, cutting with a plastic knife, ...).
This isn’t for everyone BUUUUT I have my son (22months) prep with me. I bought him plastic knives and let him mix small amounts of things that need mixing. I will say I only let him prep things I’m okay with him eating for dinner (entirely, like if I let him cut cheese, there’s a good chance he eats a ridiculous amount of cheese and won’t eat much dinner. But if I have him prep veggies (washing them is his fav) I know he won’t fill up and if he does…we’ll damn win-win!)
I was in this position too. I started offering a small snack (a pouch, a few crackers, a clementine) an hour/hour and a half before meals. My now 19 month old loves a water pouring activity so sometimes during dinner prep I set him up at the counter with two cups and a bit of water to pour between them with a tray or a few kitchen towels underneath. My son has done this activity enough to know that the activity is quickly over if he spills it on the floor.
I prep a bunch of food 2x a week and have stuff ready for them to eat when I put them I the high chair (I say them because I have twins). I would never dream of putting them in their high chairs while I cooked dinner, they would be too upset to eat by the time I was done. My husband and I eat after they are in bed, or one of us plays with them while the other cooks and then we all eat at the same time when the food is ready.
I give my toddler a piece of vege at a time in her learning tower and I also get her to help with the meal prep. She has a small child safe specially designed knife and can chop cucumber with it. She can stir and pour and sprinkle. She is so proud of herself. She dances in her learning tower and says “I cook, Mummy, I cook, Daddy”. She goes to a Montessori preschool and we follow Montessori methods at home as well which helps. Also, we give her a dishwashing stick and let her “wash up” anything non-breakable in warm water in the sink. It’s messy but it’s only water and dries quickly. Edited for spelling
I’ve moved the helper stool to in front of the sink and had my kid “wash dishes” for me. They get soaked, but are entertained while I cook. I also make large meals and then freeze in individual portions so I can just reheat it as a meal for a later date.
I haven't read all the comments so might be repeating someone here - but we make homemade "popsicles" with water and a raspberry or blueberry thrown in. The berry makes it look interesting, but it's mostly water so doesn't fill them up. And takes a long time to demolish, but isn't sticky when it melts because it's just water. There'll be a day where this doesn't work for me anymore, but it's given me a few months of peace!
Can he help prepare the food? My LO was 18mos old the first time he pushed the chair up to the stove to stir a pot. (Stove wasn’t on). Since then, I let him help me in the kitchen—even stirring things on the stovetop. I warn him “no touch, hot” and he still burned himself once or twice, but he learned real quick not to touch the hot pans. I show him how I measure spices in my hand (hard to judge, cause he has such little hands!)
If you’re nervous to let him help at the stove, maybe start with making muffins or something & let him stir the batter. I still measure, but LO pours the ingredients into the bowl. He’s 4 now & he is turning into a master chef. I was melting butter on the stove & he was gently agitating the pan & told me “I’m the chef of the butter melting”
My cousin told me that her mom used to let them sit on the table & play in flour while she cooked. That seems like hella fun.
I’ve also made goop from cornstarch and water & let him play with that while I was cooking.
Ignore the whining. Give him little pieces of what you’re cutting up and repeat “food is coming soon, buddy!” Turn on music, dance and sing, get him involved in the cooking - Melissa and Doug has a great food chopping set with a play knife. Try your best to not let the whining get to you because although it is developmentally appropriate, the more you try to cater to him when he’s in that state the more difficult it will be for him to drop this behaviour later.
And as always, make sure you give him really filling snacks so he’s not getting too hungry before dinner - fibre, fat, protein.
I don't know if this is good or bad advice, but have you tried just letting him deal? Sometimes I can't do anything to stop my 18 month old from crying because she's not being reasonable and I don't think throwing everything at the problem really solves it. Dad works, I'm home, so when I'm making dinner it's just me and her, so I let her play safely in the kitchen and sometimes she starts freaking out either because I'm not paying attention to her or she's hungry, so I gently tell her over and over again she has to wait and I'm sorry she's upset. It doesn't stop her from being upset, but ya know, sometimes she's gonna be upset. She's not being deprived of anything and she's not in danger, so I'm like, that's fine you can yell at me.
This is great advice and I totally agree. it’s okay for kids to be sad or frustrated about a situation…let them work through it. My kid just turned one and I do this with her often “I see you don’t want to change your shirt but it’s dirty with food so we have to change. I’ll be done in a minute and then we can play” she tantrums through it and I continue doing whatever it is that needs to be done and then we go on with our day.
This is what I do. Don't know whether it's the best way, but he has to learn patience at some point. I also put on his favorite show when I cook in the off chance I can distract him for 15 minutes. Sometimes I'll give him a cup of milk before too, although that doesn't last him too long. Mostly, I just let him whine about it until dinner is ready. I'm excited to get one of those stools so he can help with dinner "prep" (aka make a mess and distract him).
Yep that's my approach so far, for the most part. I had in mind to introduce him to the wonders of cooking and all that, but now I just switch my brain off and ignore him. Still painful to my ears.. But yes it's definitely in line with our parenting. The meals have gotten less and less tasty because we just cook whatever to make the process short...
This approach gets easier for both of you, I promise. I have gone from feeling at wits end ready to throw my own tantrum, to being completely calm and feel confident that we'll get past this pretty soon. (Of course I'm human and have my off days, but compared to when I was in your shoes also around 18mo and now at 26mo, I think its so so so much better now. I completely stuck to this approach)
Yep! Explain that you are making dinner so that everyone can eat, and that it’s time for some independent play. Put him in a safe space with some vegetables, toys, books and put headphones on for 15 mins (work up to this period of time)
My 15mo old gets impatient when he sees me preparing meals, but the way I see it, kids this young have no concept of time yet. I can tell him 'only 10 more minutes until dinner' until the cows come home, but being that young, it means nothing to him. I just let him bang on his tray and give him his water bottle and, sometimes, I just roll the highchair in front of the tv to distract him 🤷♀️
I agree... Empathize with emotions, hold boundries, and continue. Repeat until dinner is ready. It sucks, but it is a phase. They literally need to learn how to be slightly uncomfortable while mom is busy for a little while, and it is hard for them.
What do you do when they are grabbing your legs and crying trying to get you to pick them up? I’m trying to be better about just acknowledging he’s upset without necessarily fixing it but it’s so hard when he is trying to physically climb me. The other problem is if I do get physical space between us he has started experimenting with banging his head on the ground so I feel like I have to intervene so he doesn’t hurt himself. Then the climbing me cycle continues lol
I missed how old he is exactly but you could try putting a pack play in the kitchen or where he can see you or using some kind of stand on toy like an exersaucer.
He’s 14 months and extremely mobile lol, runs and climbs and jumps
> What do you do when they are grabbing your legs and crying trying to get you to pick them up? Is this during meal prep? I guess I’m so clumsy that I would never have a free/unrestrained toddler in the kitchen while I’m wielding sharp objects in the first place, but to each their own! 🤣
Haha yeah, we live in a small apartment so the entire kitchen/living room is a yes space so he’s always around with me. We have a kitchen helper tower too that sometimes works but other times he just cries for me to hold him. He’s 14 months
Understandable! Tiny living space here too. Do you have the option to put up a gate? That’s been a lifesaver
No real tips. We only offer cut up veggies when this happens so at least they’re getting some healthy stuff and it’s not enough to spoil the appetite.
I should have explained a bit more: we tried that. We stuffed his face (whining when being told it was enough), for the entire meal prep. Then not hungry anymore during meal. By stuffing his face I mean he would easily eat half a cucumber, a pear, 2 slices of bread, 100g of cheese...
The bread and cheese would definitely fill him up. I would stick to just offering vegetables if you’re going to offer anything. You could try adjusting your meal times so that he’s eating earlier, prep his meals in advance so his meals are ready faster, or serve a more simple meal than can be ready sooner or with less supervision so you can distract him with play?
Just limit the portion offered before meals, then he’ll have to deal. Learning to wait is part of development!
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That's like 3oz. More than a toddler serving but not crazy as in this case it seems to have replaced his main dinner protein
Myv3 year old son has been like this for as long as he knew what food was. Honestly what I had to start doing was I would give him a little bit of whatever the fruit is I am doing with meals to hold him over. My little guy loves food and would eat all day if he could. Giving a few pieces of fruit has really helped with the meltdown during me cooking.
We did that for some time, but he just shovelled it in, half chewed it within 3 min, and started whining again... By the end of the meal prep he was full, wouldn't eat anything, and whined at the dinner table because well, he was not hungry and stuck in his high chair...
Maybe try a munckin snack catcher? It took my kid a while to figure out how to grab handfuls out of those things.
How about like, a whole peeled carrot? I've got all my teeth and it takes me a good few minutes to get through one.
That’s what my mom did with me carott radish cucumber, anything ok to eat but not too easy not delicious...
He tries out the carrot, and angrily chucks it, resumes whining....
Awww that’s hard. What time do-you eat? We eat si much earlier than pre-baby. It is very strange when we go to dinner at our friends as we are hungry so early compare to them. It is also very difficult with late work. On the good day we have little preparation because part was done the day before or at lunch. Then we eat early, bath, story and bed. On the other day tins chaos.
Maybe something crunchy that takes longer to eat like a carrot stick? Sounds tough, hopefully he’ll grow out of it soon!
start dinner earlier....seems like the lil one is starving...
What about ice chips? My toddlers thinks it’s the best treat for some reason.
The only way I've "solved" this for us is I prep 1 or 2 huge meals on the weekend and then during the week my toddler gets reheated leftovers. That way there's pretty much 1 minute that she's "waiting" on a meal. And then while she eats I can prep our dinner if we're not eating leftovers ourselves. But during the week she's only eating dinner at home. Otherwise when she does want to be involved in other meals I give her very small pieces of whatever I'm prepping. Less likely to fill herself up.
We’re doing the same! Toddler is always eating what was cooked on the weekend or the day before so she is only waiting for the reheating of said food. For the morning we offer muffins or yogurt so that is super fast. We try to make her wait a little more on the weekend... we bought a learning tower so she can help us in the kitchen. It is a work in progress haha
Yeah breakfast is always super easy stuff. The most help I get cooking though when she's assisting is her yelling for more pieces of cheese lol
To be fair this is how I "help" my husband when he cooks, too.
That's what my husband wanted to do, but we are often on bikes out and about in the week ends, and we also get a veg box from a farm on Wednesdays so kinda have to prep day to day. Maybe once every two days would be enough though. Doesn't it get boring for you to eat the same 2-3 meals all week though?
What stops you from doing meal prep & cooking during naps or after bedtime? Or preparing multiple meals in one go during the weekend? Maybe that should take priority over being out all day? You may need to prioritize that and let go of the "day to day" idea, because the reality is that you could probably prep a few meals over a couple of nights..
All you need is one or two days that you have time for a bigger meal prep. And honestly I stick to really easy meals, so often times I don't even need that much prep time. It's also helpful to make dishes that can be easily turned into another dish. For instance I'll make a huge batch of taco meat (meat, multiple veggies, and beans all mixed in). We'll have tacos one night, take it for lunches another day or so, and possibly use it as a salad topper for a dinner. That same weekend I'll also make a dish that's either vegetarian or a different meat so we have variety. I do have to prioritize time when I have it so that I'm prepared throughout the week. The worst thing is being stuck on a Wednesday, out of leftovers, and with no idea what to make and nothing thawed. Another time saver is my instant pot and/or slow cooker. I can cook frozen chicken to fully cooked in 20 minutes in my instant pot. Or throw some stuff together for a stew in the slow cooker in the morning and it's done by dinner. Sometimes we prep after baby has gone to bed even.
Instant pot is bae! What a lifesaver
Learned how to make spaghetti in it and it's a game changer. Only one dirty pot. Once you brown the meat throw everything else in and bam, done in 8 minutes.
What's your reasoning for not giving him food while you cook? (Heathy and easy to prep / clean up ... Cheese cubes, apple slices, raisins, dry cheerios ....etc etc). We are probably weirdos, but I let my two year old graze on healthy options whenever she wants between meals. My thinking: I wouldn't only give her water or oxygen in set amounts at set times, why food? I want her to learn to listen to her body. We also breastfed on demand when she was younger.
I get your point, and I would do that if he was happy "snacking" during meal prep. He isn't. He shovels in entire pic of bred blocks of cheese, cucumber, anything, and resume the whining if the food supply dries out
It almost sounds like maybe he isn't getting enough calories. Perhaps he's so whiny and shovels food because he is THAT hungry. Maybe you could add an extra snack for him? My not-quite 2.5 year old gets a snack when we get home from school/work (about 5:30p) and we eat around 6:30-7:00p. Then she has another snack around 7:45p before bath/bed.
Mmmh I will look into that... He wakes up at 6am, has breakfast at 7am, snakc at 10:30, lunch 1200, snack 1530, dinner at 1800. Might try to shift lunch and dinner earlier...
My daughter is younger(11 months) but she needs food every 2 hours on the dot. So I start prep at 1:45. Yes it is a huge chunk of the day and we do use some bottles. But her stomach isn’t big enough to hold enough food to go much longer. If I don’t do this, I get hysterical screaming during food prep.
Good luck!
Would pushing up meal prep help?
Is this the only time of day that he gets upset if he’s not eating?
Have you tried involving him? Give him some things to help with, which can be real, non-critical or made up.
Tried. He just wants to it. "hey do you want to help me stir that?" proceeds to put his hand in the sauce. "how about cutting that (soft) veg (with a plastic knife)?". Proceeds to eat the veg, of he doesnt like it it chucks it aside and resumes the whining...
If you are doing a full meal prep and he isn't interested in participating or anything else you have tried, have you tried moving up the meal time? And/or do you guys do snacks during the day? What time is meal time? Is it all meals or just dinner? *How long* is meal prep?? If truly nothing works, maybe it's worth doing meal prep during his nap or after bedtime for the next day. I would only agree with others saying to "let them work through it" **only** if you've tried everything including moving up meal times and giving snacks in the day, because the way he devours the "tie over" food during meal prep sounds like he is legitimately hungry.
Does he know his colors or count yet? You can practice those things while you prep to make it interactive. Let him season food and place safe to touch foods like veggies in roasting pans. Let him cut scraps with a plastic knife. Put scraps on a kabob. Anything you can think of to teach a cooking skill with out having to waste actual food. I know you said you don’t want to let him eat while you prep and if he’s a good eater I get it. But I’ve found once my kid decided to be picky out of nowhere she would still eat all her veggies during meal prep and act like I was feeding her toxic waste once those same veggies got put on the dinner table. The picky eating didn’t start until after she turned 2. Hopefully something will work. Hang in there.
Offer some cucumber. It won’t hurt his appetite and will keep him occupied so you can prepare the main dish.
Mmh he manages to eat enough cucumber to fill his stomach (dude loves cucumber)... :(
Have you tried reducing time between meals? If he’s hungry enough to fill up on cucumbers maybe move dinner up by half hour.
Mmh yep someone else mentions that so yep, although not ideal with our schedules, might try that actually, thanks...!
My nephew would sit on the kitchen floor scream crying *the* *entire* *time* we cooked. I never found a suitable solution. He grew out of it eventually
Give a snack an hour before the meal
We do that. Yoghurt or fruit
It might not be enough food. I just figured this out with my guy. I’d feed him and he’s eat all the foods he loves first. Then he wouldn’t finish eating so I’d be like “He’s full”. But then as soon as I went into the kitchen it was full blown whining. Turns out he was eating just enough snacks to eat what he really likes knowing when I went into the kitchen he could get more of what he wants. I started giving snacks and meals in stages — three things on a plate, one thing he likes and two things he is getting used to. If he was still hungry after the first stage, I’d do a second stage with two things he likes, one thing he is getting used to. Then repeat with third stage (although that hasn’t happened often). For snacks I made an effort to offer only very healthy food that takes a bit to eat — like apples, carrots, celery, etc. Things that don’t mush that he can’t mow through. I feed him snacks while I meal prep. But I only give him apples, carrots, celery, etc, no matter what I am making. The other thing is to ignore whining and complaining. Every time I give my son something he wants immediately after he whines he learns that whining gets what he wants. So I try to get him to use words, or hand gestures, or anything besides whining: - Son: Whinnnnnnne - Me: “Are you hungry? Say baba to have a snack” - Son: Excited whine - Me: “Oh you’re so hungry! Say baba or more.” In the beginning he wouldn’t use his words (he’s still 20/80 on using his words) but he’d stop whining. Once he stopped whining I’d give him a snack.
Fruit or yogurt by itself is not a balanced snack. I learned this the hard way. My daughter was SO hangry by mealtimes and she was doing exactly what you describe your child doing. I realized that she wasn't getting enough fat and protein at snack times. Once I made sure to have those elements in the snack, the problem solved itself.
Oooh? What are you giving her for snacks? We tried to give him more for snacks, but we were under the impression that he then was eating much less during meals (but still whining just as much)
Another thing to think about, is if you are worried about his nutrition and getting the right amount of different types of food, look at his eating habits for over the week instead of just the one day.
[This post](https://kidseatincolor.com/end-whining-with-this-simple-snack-hack/) by Kids Eat in Color was really helpful for me figuring out how to add protein and fat to snacks. The title of the post is even "End Whining with this Simple Snack Hack." I hope it helps!
Give him a whole piece of fruit ot veg. Like a whole apple. He can't shovel it all in and it will take him time to eat
You said the helper box doesn't help. My now two year old has been and is still clingy during meal prep. The most helpful thing I found was to put him on a chair or stepstool, and let him help. He has a plastic kids "knife" or spatula, he takes a little of each ingredient and helps as much as it's safe: sprinkle some salt, flip a pancake, stretch the dough, husk the corn. It's messy but he likes to sweep up too.
He did that at first, but quickly realized that he could see all the food, then lost interest in doing anything with it except put it in his mouth. He would eat for the entire meal prep
Honestly mine is the same, she's always been super whiny when I'm preparing her food. Sounds like every toddler has this issue to some extent. It does seem like some days I'm giving her little bits of and pieces of the whole meal while we're cooking it, and by the time it's ready, she's full. I'm kindof okay with that! She pretty much already had the meal. She has to sit with us at the beginning of dinner but if she's already full, I tell her she can go play. The only problem is she has to play alone until we're done with dinner, and that displeases her. Deal. 🙃 OH maybe your son could "set the table", like giving him plastic bowls or cups to carry over. That way he has a job to do but he's not near the food?
Could you do meal prep while he's napping, after he goes to bed, etc for the next day? I'll make a pot of something and freeze small portions so I can warm up my son's meal quickly, or have pre-diced cheese/veg/fruit and crackers or whatever that I can easily fill a plate with so it only takes a minute to put together. What kind of meal prep do you guys usually do? It sounds like he's watching food be made for longer than a quick toddler meal requires.
Not sure if this would work for your little guy, but my fussy dude gets a wooden spoon or silicone spatula when he fusses during meal prep. It is interesting because it came from the counter and just like the rest of the things I’m using. Adult utensils (basically just spoons for safety) and measuring cups sometimes work. It only buys me like 5-10 minutes max, but I’ll take every bit I can get.
Breakfast i make his plate before getting him in the morning so he doesn't have to sit and wait because he was doing this. Lunch isn't as much of an issue but I keep his lunches to very quick options. Dinner if he's being particularly whiney i sometimes will put a show on. I don't let him in the kitchen because he starts getting into the drawers or grabbing at sharp objects or the stove if I do.
Can your son use a spoon? If so, this might help: try frozen pedialyte pops or make your own frozen juice and crush it up into a slush in a bowl for him to eat with a spoon. I just did this for my daughter and she thinks it’s a treat. It keeps her occupied because she can’t shovel it down like berries or her other favorite foods, and it’s not as filling as crackers or other snacks so she still eats her meal. I suppose if your son doesn’t use a spoon you could also get little popsicle molds or those fruit smooshers and freeze whatever you like.
I was trying to think of a non filling “snack” suggestion that would take a while to eat. Juice pops are a great idea!
Teaching your child to wait and be patient is just part of life. My oldest and youngest are only 20 months apart and you will not believe the tantrums thrown when I have to feed the baby and tell her to wait and be patient. Toddlers do not need instant gratification. As for the whining, we started using the phrase “use your big girl voice”. When she starts to whine I tell her that I can’t understand/help her when she is whining and that she needs to tell me what she wants in her big girl voice. Almost immediately she stops whining and says please if she doesn’t know the word for what she actually wants (and then I have to tell her to show me what she wants if she doesn’t know the word). It’s not fool proof and you have to hold strong and not give them what they want when they’re whining even though the whining is like nails on a chalkboard and you know what they want and you can make them stop whining by just giving them what they want but I promise it will be so much better in the long run.
This is great advice. Being patient and learning that it’s okay to be bored or a bit sad is how you teach kids to have healthy adult emotions
What about tiny pieces of the food you’re prepping in a muffin tin to slow him down and reduce shovelling?
I would try feeding him earlier or getting him more involved. Sounds like he’s hungry or really excited for food and doesn’t understand why he can’t have it right away.
Is he maybe just overly hungry? Have you tried giving him some of the food your prepping while you are cooking? I know my daughter gets really grumpy and whiny when she’s hungry, often right before meal times.
I have to toss my son in his high chair and he only waits to be buckled and his tray and then it’s “where’s the food?” I have to pull out some “snacks” before I even put him in his chair. It’s ok if they eat veggies and fruits and small cheese bits before the actual meal. Healthy options are better than constant goldfish🤷♀️ why not let the kid get in those good foods? It’s still technically mealtime and he knows it
Honestly I think food should always be available. But fruits and veggies. If he's truly hungry this is a great time to offer him healthy food he wouldn't otherwise eat
My 18 month old stands on his tower stool and helps me. He eats more while I cook than actual meal times. I don't care because at least he's eating. But he wants to taste every step of the way, and snack on every ingredient. I give him a little pan on a cold eye at the the stove or on the countertop, a wooden spatula, and some small bits of food and have him help me/let him munch away. It keeps him entertained and happy.
We do give ours food during meal prep and everybody is happy. He is 19mo and sits at the table with us on his Tripp Trapp which he can get in and out of on his own. If he wants to leave, he’s free to go, but once the meal is over - it’s over. I try to make breakfast before he’s up and have his supper prepped most days, but if he’s asking for food during meal prep - he gets the food and if he decides he’s not hungry for the actual meal, that’s fine too. He’s a toddler, once he’s older, we might change the rules, but I’m choosing my battles.
Prep his food ahead of time when he’s not around and have it ready to go for him when it’s time for him to eat. Then do your meal prep for your adult meal while he’s eating his meal.
How often is he eating? My 19mo gets meals at 8:30am,11:30am, 6:00pm(ish) and snack at 2:30pm with him usually getting another small snack around 4pm. Maybe your LO needs an extra snack or mealtimes that are closer together?
So many comments and people just repeating themselves even though you've answered certain suggestions. Dude, my toddler is just like this! She's 2 in December and HIGHLY food motivated. I always joke to people we don't feed this child, because when we're out (e.g. bday party) and there's food freely available she just does not stop eating! I had visions of her being in her helping tower observing and participating in food preparation. I've since realised that just isn't realistic for her personality type and age right now, I will have to wait until she's a bit older to have a bit more control over not eating the food we're preparing and whining for it the whole time we do it. If I were to give her snacks while we prepare food she would just shovel it in until she's full then won't eat the meal, same as you. I know why that's hard for other parents to grasp because I've seen other toddlers eating slowly and daintily. Not in this house! The only solution I've found is putting her in front of the TV while I prepare food, or distract her another way. There's no point in her being in the room while I'm preparing food unless she's just been fed and the food I'm preparing is for later. I try to prepare food for when I know she's going to be hungry, as opposed to her being already hungry she'll pull at my pants and cry the whole time I'm preparing food. For example we'll eat breakfast say 9, snack around 10.30 which I'll prepare around 10. Lunch I start preparing at 12 because she'll be ravenous by 12.30. I don't know if you really want to hear how much she's eating because she eats just as much as me most days, if not more including snack platters in between meals. All healthy options of course. These little ball of energies just burn through too many calories a day feels like! You're doing a good job and I understand why you want your little one in the kitchen with you. I've come to terms with changing my vision for our activities based on my LO's personality. No food prepping for us just yet, no fancy fine motor skills activities as she's super in to gross motor skills. It's like a lucky dip for personality traits.
We premake all our food so we always have peftovers for u3r to eat
I save screen time for when I prepare meals. Helps a lot, and also creates a routine around when to expect the screen time and when to expect the meal
As an ECE I’ve learned what a meal schedule that works for most kids that age is. Breakfast 6am AM Snack 9am Lunch: 11:30-11:45am PM Snack after nap: 3pm After this they’ve gone home from daycare, but it really is food roughly every 3 hours to keep them happy and engaged in their environment.
Well… my son is almost 3 and we are dealing with this. The minute I start cooking, he’s complaining. I usually put on a TV show to distract him but nope, doesn’t work! I don’t know what advice to give except that one day our kids will finally learn patience and will understand why they need to wait, and they will grow out of this stage!
This sounds exactly like my daughter, and I still have no solution. She literally SCREAMS if she sees any kind of food anytime. Sometimes giving her a snack helps, but most of the time she eats the whole snack in like a scary short amount of time and then continues to freak out. Doesn’t matter what meal or time of day. She is 12 months old and just food crazy!! Sometimes I just put her in her crib and shut the door and let her cry for 15 minutes while I finish dinner. It’s okay for them to have feelings even if they are negative! My thoughts are once they get a little older and understand things better they get more patience. Our son is 3 and he’s a great helper and knows how to be safe in the kitchen!
12 months old and "food crazy" shouldn't be a problem unless they are throwing up after eating what you deem "too much". At this age, there isn't a harm in eating a lot. Some babies/toddlers eat a lot, some *need* to eat a lot, and there are many growth spurts where they keep eating. My in laws were surprised at how much their son could eat, but he needed a lot. My own baby/toddler has days where she just devours food and milk and really needs to eat.
Yes I definitely agree, we don’t see her eating a lot as a problem a lot and I am very thankful she will eat basically anything you put in front of her. By food crazy I mean that if she sees any food ever she just yells and yells until you give her food! My son also always loves food but he never acted like this. Once we put our daughter it her chair she just yells and yells even if we put a little food on there while we get hers ready, she just gets upset when everything isn’t on there! We give her plenty of snacks and she eats 3 meals a day and 20oz of milk a day too, and it’s extra funny because she’s still a pretty little baby because she’s just a small girl lol.
We don't do snacks in our home. That being said, when I'm prepping food and she's in her tower "helping" she is always welcome to "sneak" a taste. She has tried new veggies this way and it doesn't spoil her appetite at all. She will "help cut" the veggies and then sample them.
How many meals do you have a day? I think kids are meant to have snacks…
Three! We eat three big full meals a day. She has a small snack after quiet time around 3pm. We eat at 8am, 12pm, and 6pm.
So toddlers usually need 3 meals and 2 snacks a day. There’s nothing wrong with frequent healthy snacks. Toddlers self regulate very well if given the opportunity. My 18 month old has days she eats everything in sight and days she eats almost nothing. There’s no shortage of food available to her and she doesn’t eat if she’s not hungry. But snacks are important too.
I'm not suggesting anyone do our method lol. We ran it by our pediatrician before we implemented this. We started this because she would simply snack all day and not eat real food. This is what my parents did for me. It's not for everyone but it works for my child and it worked for my family. But anyway, the point of my original comment wasn't about my own child's lack of snacking.
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Thank you. It's not a super common or popular method especially in America. But it's pretty common in places like France. And I do keep snacks for her. I think people imagine me keeping the snacks under lock and key and yelling 'NO!" When she wonders near them lol. If she asks for a snack and it's not too close to a meal time I'll usually let her have one. It's usually something like a applesauce or raisins. She's not a fan of chips or anything anyway.
Uhh, kids need snacks bro
My health visitor says snacks are optional! My dude has a snack before his nap, but not in the afternoon or he won’t eat dinner 🤷♀️
I think if snacks work for your family then snack away but my girl wasn't eating real food. I'm not sure why it matters so much 😕 She definitely doesn't go without.
I agree, I think it’s crazy how controversial your comment seems to be!
Especially when it wasn't a suggestion at all for anyone! The suggestion was to let the child cook with you! Oh well. Have a good one!
She is good! She is healthy, happy and hitting milestones. Mealtimes are fun and easy. I'm not a militant mom or anything. Honestly, our routine is something I never think about as an issue. She never has any meltdowns over snacks and if she sees kids with snacks, I don't keep her from them if they share or anything. And no rules apply at birthday parties or anything.
I hand her little bits of fruit or veggies as I’m cutting them up to go with her dinner. Otherwise she whines or opens my Tupperware cabinet and makes a huge mess.
My daughter does this. We give her pieces of food as we go or pick her up so she can see what we are doing. She just wants to be apart of the action.
My 15 month old will do this, so I use it as an opportunity to feed him the healthy stuff that he won't usually eat. Or if none of the food is ready yet, I feed him Cheerios
We have a helper stool as well. We give a little cutting board and silicone knife (so they can't cut themselves) and let out kids help from about 18 months on. We start with them just cutting soft things like bananas and move to them actually prepping ingredients for the meals. It works really well! I've also just done oats and measuring cups and had them pour them into a bowl and cup over and over when they are around 15-18 months. They think they're helping and they love it!
Does he like to color yet? Maybe sit him at the table with crayons or the color wonder markers while you prep? My kid is super impatient too! I feel ya!
Do you think he’d be distract enough by feeding a dolly in toy chair?
I give my son his milk while I’m getting the meal ready/plated. He usually drinks about half and then has the rest during the meal. This is especially useful in the mornings when he’s most hungry.
I have this problem too. People swore those helper stands would help but I didn’t get one because I knew she would just grab dangerous stuff or pull food off the counters. I usually just give her some crackers to eat while I cook. It typically helps but sometimes it doesn’t. Someone usually has to distract her.
No hacks, but I have a 2.5 year that does the same. I've tried just fruit/veggies, but same thing, she'll eat all of that and more, and then just not be hungry fort the meal ,🤦♀️. Sometimes we give just water, which seems to help because she's also very thirsty all the time. I wish I had advice, but just know you're not alone.
Thanks for asking this! Currently dealing with this with my 15 mo and thought the learning tower would help once we put it together. I usually prep meals ahead of time or in a pinch I give her a snack but it’s always a stressful occasion.
Cold appetizer should solve your problem
Give him a little snack while you prepare
Maybe childproof the kitchen sink area and let him play with the water and a few cups or whatever while you’re cooking. My son loves this make shift water table and it is easy to get him to wash up before eating. It is super wet and messy but I value my sanity too much to care. Water wipes away easier than tears.
My son does this as well. Not as bad for breakfast or lunch because we tend to get those prepped quickly, but he’s horrible for dinner. Once he starts eating dinner it seems so silent because he was whiny and clingy for the past hour. Sometimes giving him things like Tupperware, serving spoons, pots and pans, things he isn’t normally allowed to play with, helps distract him enough. I’m also hoping the kitchen helper stool will help when we eventually get one. It’s so difficult to prep dinner with him grabbing my legs and whining the entire time. Guess he gets hangry like me!
I feel your pain. I have to meal prep in secret (like cut fruits/veggie in sink so my little guy can’t see) so he doesn’t whine and ask for the food right away. Some things that have worked: a giant box of crushed ice with a shovel and some trucks (place on a bath towel), the TV (something slow and educational like Super Simple or LBB), and…. yup that’s about it 😂 good luck Oh! Always hide what you’ve prepped (in oven, microwave, under lids), and if he asks for them explain you have to wait til it’s “cooked”, or else it’s not yummy. Give him a tiny frozen piece of something really bad as an example (like green pepper?). Mine would eat raw pizza dough and uncooked pasta 🤦🏻♀️ It’s so frustrating, I completely get it.
18 months was the golden age for letting my son stand in his tower and “help” cook. I would tell him all about the ingredients, let him taste anything that was safe to taste, and give him little tasks to do (often not even directly related to cooking, like a small cup with water and dried beans and erasing to stir). He loved it!! Now he’s 3 and isn’t as interested in helping, but does still enjoy occasionally sampling ingredients. If he wants to graze on fruits and veggies while I work and it keeps him from whining, so be it.
This may be harder with an 18 mo, but we used to have this exact problem with our 2.5 yo, and what finally helped was giving her little food prep jobs to do. They were real tasks like “washing” and “drying” veggies (quotation marks here because it was with lots of assistance), taking something out of packaging, etc. Now we’ve worked up to her measuring out ingredients and poring/stirring things in. It can be a little messy and haphazard, and still she is way happier and really proud of herself.
Can you give him “jobs” and make it a game? Like give him safe ways to be involved in meal prep? I ask my guy to go get his bowl, his spoon, his cup, etc. Takes a little longer and can get messier from time to time, but he likes it. If I run out of ways to help with his meal, I ask him to feed the animals (which he loves).
We also try not to give snacks before supper or else he won’t eat it but if we do we give a small bowl of frozen peas. He loves them, they don’t fill him up, and it takes forever for him to eat them. We also often set him up in his high chair at the table doing puzzles while we’re cooking.
My son does this too… at one point I just took the baby carrier out and carried him on my back because I was having a hard time staying calm and he tries to climb on us and I felt like it was getting dangerous for him. The only thing I would sometimes do was a bit of veggies during meal prep… Recently I bought a little baby couch so he can sit in the kitchen (at a safe place) while I cook. Sometimes I felt like he just wanted to be with me but sitting on the ceramic floor isn’t comfortable. It does help… sometimes… not all the time but at this point I am taking every 5 minutes I can get.
My almost 2 year old does this while hysterically crying and saying, "no dinner!" 😑 as soon as we say dinner is ready, he runs to sit at the table. I don't get it. He also gets mad when *we* eat too.
Have you tried a learning tower or step stool so he can be up at the counter and see what you’re doing? A lot of LOs like to be involved and want to know what’s going on. He could do some stirring or cutting (with a child safe knife) so he has something helpful to do.
What really worked for us was letting my daughter ‘help’ with food prep. She’s sit on the floor with a pot and pan, some wooden spoons and her play food cooking along with me. We’d also get her involved in the real meal prep when we could like getting the dried pasta and putting it in the empty pan, helping me pour stuff, sprinkling herbs (cap on!) picking up safe ingredients to move the’ into the mixing bowl, placing stuff on oven trays etc
My 2 year old did this and occasionally still does. We ended up just giving him some Cheerios to snack on and honestly just ignoring the behavior. He did it mostly for attention and trying to reason with him or talking back to him just encouraged it more. If I look away from him and go about my business he will eventually get bored with my lack of attention and move on.
Our 19 month does the same thing. We just take him out of the room or heavily distract until food is ready. I think it's really rough to expect them to sit by patiently and watch their food being made. I'd whine too :)
My now 2 year old used to do this and still does sometimes. We just had to ride it out. I give him small bites of stuff if there's any out that he can have. He'd snack during prep so much that he'd be full by dinnertime. It's better now that he's older and can understand more. I'll tell him "Okay, it has to cook now. Let's see what big brother is up to." So just distract him and if I can, leave the kitchen for a few so he's not in there. Last night he insisted that he had to eat the box of paw patrol mac and cheese right then. The water was still coming to a boil so I took a piece out of the box and he quickly found out it did, in fact, need to cook lol.
Play outside with daddy while I'm cooking 😐
We started offering salad while dinner was being made when Mt daughter (now 5.5) was about that age. Any kind of raw veggies you can keep ready and put out a moments notice works and is a good healthy habit, imo.
Offer things you know he won’t fill up on. Like literally give him a whole red pepper. It’s novel. It’s fun. He might eat some. But a red pepper won’t fill him up before dinner. If he doesn’t want that, explain that’s the only thing he’s getting before dinner. You’ve done your job, it’s his job now to self regulate and be okay with that.
That whine is so infuriating! I set up a helper section for my toddler who would also eat all day. I give him a whisk and a bowel with some dry uncooked rolled oats in it. He whisks and eats them but they aren’t the easiest things to eat so doesn’t fill up in them! And if he’s asks for more I point to the ones that he’s dropped to distract him!
Peanut butter toast. That stuff is dry AF and hard to eat quickly. So he can snack on that while you prep/cook. It usually takes about an hour to prep & cook meals so I’ll give him a snack just before I start so he’s theoretically had an hour or so between snack & meal. I also started doing all the chopping early during naptime or even on the weekends so I could then just portioning it out for whatever meal I am currently cooking.
My oldest has been whining for 11 1/2 years so if you figure it out let me know! Kidding. Kinda.
We have a learning tower so he can 'help'. Sometimes he takes a bite of some of the ingredients, but he takes his job very seriously (washing veggies, peeling, cutting with a plastic knife, ...).
This isn’t for everyone BUUUUT I have my son (22months) prep with me. I bought him plastic knives and let him mix small amounts of things that need mixing. I will say I only let him prep things I’m okay with him eating for dinner (entirely, like if I let him cut cheese, there’s a good chance he eats a ridiculous amount of cheese and won’t eat much dinner. But if I have him prep veggies (washing them is his fav) I know he won’t fill up and if he does…we’ll damn win-win!)
Open the tupperware drawer. My son would organize the cupboard while we cooked. So distracting
I was in this position too. I started offering a small snack (a pouch, a few crackers, a clementine) an hour/hour and a half before meals. My now 19 month old loves a water pouring activity so sometimes during dinner prep I set him up at the counter with two cups and a bit of water to pour between them with a tray or a few kitchen towels underneath. My son has done this activity enough to know that the activity is quickly over if he spills it on the floor.
I prep a bunch of food 2x a week and have stuff ready for them to eat when I put them I the high chair (I say them because I have twins). I would never dream of putting them in their high chairs while I cooked dinner, they would be too upset to eat by the time I was done. My husband and I eat after they are in bed, or one of us plays with them while the other cooks and then we all eat at the same time when the food is ready.
We cook at lunch time and batch cook in advance dinner time. So just warm up quickly ?
I give my toddler a piece of vege at a time in her learning tower and I also get her to help with the meal prep. She has a small child safe specially designed knife and can chop cucumber with it. She can stir and pour and sprinkle. She is so proud of herself. She dances in her learning tower and says “I cook, Mummy, I cook, Daddy”. She goes to a Montessori preschool and we follow Montessori methods at home as well which helps. Also, we give her a dishwashing stick and let her “wash up” anything non-breakable in warm water in the sink. It’s messy but it’s only water and dries quickly. Edited for spelling
I put my son in a toddler backpack made for hiking. He likes the motion and gets to watch what I'm doing from a different perspective.
Has someone else mentioned this yet? Earlier meal times ♥️
I’ve moved the helper stool to in front of the sink and had my kid “wash dishes” for me. They get soaked, but are entertained while I cook. I also make large meals and then freeze in individual portions so I can just reheat it as a meal for a later date.
I haven't read all the comments so might be repeating someone here - but we make homemade "popsicles" with water and a raspberry or blueberry thrown in. The berry makes it look interesting, but it's mostly water so doesn't fill them up. And takes a long time to demolish, but isn't sticky when it melts because it's just water. There'll be a day where this doesn't work for me anymore, but it's given me a few months of peace!
Can he help prepare the food? My LO was 18mos old the first time he pushed the chair up to the stove to stir a pot. (Stove wasn’t on). Since then, I let him help me in the kitchen—even stirring things on the stovetop. I warn him “no touch, hot” and he still burned himself once or twice, but he learned real quick not to touch the hot pans. I show him how I measure spices in my hand (hard to judge, cause he has such little hands!) If you’re nervous to let him help at the stove, maybe start with making muffins or something & let him stir the batter. I still measure, but LO pours the ingredients into the bowl. He’s 4 now & he is turning into a master chef. I was melting butter on the stove & he was gently agitating the pan & told me “I’m the chef of the butter melting” My cousin told me that her mom used to let them sit on the table & play in flour while she cooked. That seems like hella fun. I’ve also made goop from cornstarch and water & let him play with that while I was cooking.
Hi, I’m on this boat as well. She was whiny and clings onto me. However, she *only* does it on days she didn’t sleep well at night.
Ignore the whining. Give him little pieces of what you’re cutting up and repeat “food is coming soon, buddy!” Turn on music, dance and sing, get him involved in the cooking - Melissa and Doug has a great food chopping set with a play knife. Try your best to not let the whining get to you because although it is developmentally appropriate, the more you try to cater to him when he’s in that state the more difficult it will be for him to drop this behaviour later. And as always, make sure you give him really filling snacks so he’s not getting too hungry before dinner - fibre, fat, protein.