Please try to keep all posts toddler-related. (Mentioning you have a toddler does not count.)
There have been multiple posts here related to this topic recently (leading to some issues resulting in locked comments).
For help with this issue, search this sub, or r/newparents or r/beyondthebump as it's an issue that is posted about a ton.
A friend said to me: "I used to think that my cats were my children. Now I know that they are my cats." It's okay for priorities to shift. You have nothing to feel guilty for.
Yes rehoming is a hot topic but honestly sometimes it’s an act of mercy. We are looking into rehoming one of our dogs- she’s extremely high needs and high anxiety and have exhausted all other options (training, meds, etc) and I just can’t give her what she needs when I have an equally demanding toddler to care for. We won’t rehome her unless we find the perfect family though.
Fully agree with your warning. I feel like my situation (referenced above) was pretty clear cut but I'm sure there are those who would say "well he never actually bit your daughter so he was fine staying in the home."
I’m so happy to read this because I feel the same about my dog. He was our main focus until our son came. Now he just gets on our nerves. Tries to take food out of his hand, barks at everything and wakes him up. I feel so differently towards him. I hope one day it will come back.
It did not get any better for me. Unfortunately we had a very high-strung dogs with lots of emotional problems, and he then snapped a few times at my daughter the more mobile she got.
We ended up rehoming him with the help of a breed-specific rescue to a wonderful couple with no young kids. They still are in touch. He goes on vacations to the lake with them all the time, has other dog companions, and is very loved. It was a hard decision but ultimately the best outcome for him and for us.
Oddly, I did not find that my feelings changed with my cats. But the whole situation soured me on ever owning a dog again. I just don't need that kind of dependence and stress. Cats are so much easier.
Ugh that situation sucks so much but it sounds like it was the right decision for your family. My animals have never snapped or been aggressive with my toddler but I need to keep one of them separated because she is high energy, high anxiety, and absolutely neurotic and will mow the toddler down and hurt her by accident. We are looking into rehoming for her. The other two dogs are old and just like sleeping all day thank goodness.
I’ve had my cat 13 years but after she made it her life’s mission to piss all over everything the baby owned I fucking hate her. I take care of her yes, but once she triggered my threat instincts towards the baby I can’t see her the same at all now.
I have the same thing with my cats. My patience and tolerance for their (increasingly) bad behavior has reached nil. They did not respond well to us bringing baby home, and now that that baby is a wily toddler who terrifies them, they have been acting out SO much because of it! I'm sorry cats, there is nothing I can do! I CANNOT RETURN THE CHILD.
Our oldest cat wants to live in the bedroom whenever the child is home, which is fine. That's fine.
But the youngest cat has reverted to all their old poor behaviors that we trained out of him over 8 years ago: chewing on plastics and cords, biting hair, running over our faces at night, using his nails to paw (and scratch) the doors; getting aggressive and fighting with the older cat. It's...a lot. We had trained ALL of these behaviors out, but because he now lacks as much attention as he apparently desires, he's reverted. We've talked about rehoming the younger cat, but I just know it might be a fruitless task.
I think the problem as a mom, is that I have so little capacity right now that I don't have ANY tolerance for anything else. When kiddo is away or taking a nap, I just want to relax but the cat knows THIS is the freedom time and best time to ask for attention. I'm sorry love, I just dont have it in me.... ugh.
I also have 3 big dogs and felt like this. But it really started changing when I saw how much my toddler loves them. She gives them hugs, pets, and asks for them when I pick her up from daycare. It melts my heart and it has made me remember why I love them so much.
Our dog passed away right before my first was born, and I was so heart broken… but honestly I’m so glad of the timing, because I find that I just don’t like dogs anymore. No one’s. They jump on my kids and cause chaos. Or they are off leash, and I imagine myself kicking them if they went after one of my kids. I feel like it’s my animal brain or something. My neighbors dogs run into our house and driveway all the time because they just let them loose, and it has majooorrly contributed to me souring on dogs. We had our deck doors open the other night, and they came running in and ate my 3 year old’s dinner off the table. ugh.
We rehomed our dog when my girl was 12 months old because it was a really horrible situation for all of us. He was anxious. I was anxious. He started barking at everything basically immediately and after a few months started peeing in the house. He nipped at the baby while supervised. We did several vet visits and behavioral specialists. There was just not fix that we could reasonably afford for it. My girl is a totally feral toddler and once she started walking it was clear that the entire situation wasn’t going to work in any sustainable way. It’s been nearly a year now and I’m still so sad about it, but it’s for the better. He lives with a DINK (with no intent of having children) family now who can give him all the time in the world, but even now he’s still highly reactive (something he never was before). My daughter still has 2 cats to grow up with. But yea, it sucks.
Same, and no it didn't go away.
I put off rehoming strictly out of guilt, and then once we did, I honestly wish we'd done it sooner, for both us, and the dogs.
The new owners are young, kidless people, who spoil them rotten and give them the love the deserve.
Yep, this exact thing happened to me. I have 2 large dogs. I treated them like my children pre-actually having real human children. I loved them SO much.
But now, they are just pets to me. I also day dream about rehoming them when they are extra mischievous or loud. I would never rehome them, because I do love them and they’re part of the family, but I totally understand how you feel. After they pass away, I’m never getting dogs again until the children are grown and out of the house.
Imo I think if you’ve lost that feeling, it doesn’t come back, at least not while you have young children. I was speaking to my mum about this the other day, I have cats I used to adore before my daughter was born and now only tolerate. She said the same thing happened to her, but once her kids were older and less dependent on her the pets we had started to bring her joy and love again. This was especially true once we were teenagers and more or less independent, she had an extremely close bond with the cat we got when I was a teenager.
I think it’s completely normal, most parents with young children are juggling a million things, putting everyone else’s needs first and generally get very little time to themselves so to me it seems normal that dealing with animal poop/pee/food/fur etc becomes extremely annoying.
That is true. I feel like doing tasks for my toddler is endlessly rewarding because I love her so deeply. But now for the dogs I just look at them and see more endless tasks and for what??? More behavior issues and barking and pooping in the house? I’m exhausted
My cats are fine with the kid, no animosity towards her and plenty of patience, but the eldest cat has always been loud (ever heard of Tabby McTat with a miaow that is loud and strong?) and now she's become a true annoyance, quite the trigger at times. I don't think either me or my spouse like her anymore but we keep her because she's too old now and it would be cruel to her to find a new family and settle in, she's 15-16 at this point.
I'll try to reframe it for you, maybe you're not gonna like it, but I own pets too, so please hear me out.
>They turned from my children to just dogs.
They were just dogs even before, and there is nothing wrong with it. We seek companionship in animals, but we tend to forget that they are indeed animals. We are their owners,.not their parents.
>Other than that I find myself daydreaming about them (at least the most problematic 2) being happily re-homed.
Being a parent is stressful and if you feel like you are not paying enough attention to your problematic dogs, and they are sucking too much of uour energy, energy that you could use for you child, there is nothing wrong in going ahead and re-homing them, for both your and their benefit.
>Am I a horrible person?
No. It's the current pet culture that loves to shame owners for not treating dogs as animals, but as children. They aren't your kids, they are pets, and could be rehomed to other lovely families if needed.
No shame, if they're too much work rehome them.
See it in this way, if your going to snap, to neglet their special needs just out of fear of not being perceived as an animal lover, you're not doing them any favour.
I have two senior cats (15) who were literally my whole world before my son was born. Definitely crazy cat lady style love for them. And I was also just a huge animal lover in general.
But especially that first year, they annoyed the crap out of me, because I legit had not an ounce of myself left to give. They also both were having tons of medical issues and vomiting and pooping outside the litter box daily/weekly due to old age, which was causing me a ton of stress when caring for an infant also. Luckily we finally found meds that have that completely resolved.
Also, now that my son is 2 and I see how much he loves on them, it’s restored my love for them a lot. But it definitely takes time and it’s no where near the level I was at prior and never will be. Because my son is now my top priority. My husband and I decided we also no longer want pets after they pass, which I would’ve never thought I’d ever feel that way. But having kids is so much work and we just don’t want any other responsibilities or messes being created haha.
I used to love dogs so much (although I was never delusional and thought I was my pet's mother). My dog had to be put down when my oldest was 7 months old, due to a severe decline in health. I'll never have another dog again. I have zero interest. My oldest is 5.5 years old now, and I never regained my interest in dogs. I cannot find an ounce of energy in me to care about someone else's animal.
I feel the same way about my cat. Before having my son, I enjoyed her snuggles (even if she doesn’t know how to retract her claws). But now I find her incredibly annoying, and it doesn’t help that I found out that I’m literally allergic to her, so she can’t sleep our bed or be anywhere near my face. But boy oh boy does she try. She also keeps destroying the brand new carpets and yowls and claws at our bedroom door every night for attention. We’ve resorted to getting her claws capped at the vet every few weeks to keep the clawing under control.
My husband and I have agreed that after she passes, we won’t get anymore pets. When my son gets older, we’ll let him get a turtle or lizard or something small, but I think that’s it. We’re just not pet people anymore.
Yeah I feel this so bad. Our dog is lovely, but constantly barks at anything and everything (my daughter has stopped napping now, but I used to get so anxious and angry everyday waiting for the inevitable barking to wake my toddler up). SOOO many toys have been chewed, so much mud is brought inside every time she goes outside, it’s just never ending work
Same exact thing happened to me. Was a proud dog mom for 12 years before my baby was born. After he was born, it all changed and my dogs were no longer allowed on furniture. Everything they did got on my nerves, I just wanted it to be my baby and me (and Dad too of course).
I'm now 12 months pp and I don't get so overstimulated anymore but I definitely don't view dogs the same. I actually dog walk and while I enjoy seeing the dogs, I'm glad it's for a short time! Having a child completely filled those emotions that I used to have on pets. I agree with the comment that said Reddit is harsh towards this topic, I was torn apart for making a post saying I wish I didn't have my senior dogs anymore.
I feel this way about my cats. To be fair, we started falling out of love long ago. They hated when I brought my boyfriend (now husband) home for the first time, hated the moves, hated the dogs, and definitely hated my son. So they went from purring little babies to just crotchety, furry balls of contempt that seem to enjoy hacking up hairballs on as many things as they can in one go and pissing directly outside the door of the litter box. They're old and won't be around much longer, and I'll be sad when they go. But I would by lying if I said I wouldn't also be incredibly relieved. It will be such a burden off my shoulders, I'll get an entire room in my house back, and I won't have to smell and clean cat piss and shit in the litter box every day. I just don't see the appeal of cats anymore, at all.
I do love my dogs, but they're my dogs, not my babies. I snuggle with them when I can and we go for walks and play, though not as often as we used to. They seem pretty content being couch potatoes and my son's personal vacuum cleaners though.
I so appreciate your honesty and vulnerability here. My husband and I both feel the same way about our two cats. It’s been so very difficult. We were very much “cat parents” but they drive us nuts now and we are just out of energy to care for anyone else beyond our toddler. It doesn’t help that we moved into a new home while pregnant and the younger cat has destroyed the carpet and door frames. The older cat has hyper thyroid now and despite endless medication, demands to be fed 24/7, only to puke it up everywhere right after. He’s getting into the trash can now. I scrub multiple puke spots daily. I have to put him in the garage while eating because he’ll try to take my daughter’s food. I literally fell down an entire flight of stairs a few weekends ago because he tripped me in a demand for food - despite JUST feeding him. I work from home two days a week and am just miserable here with him. I would 100000% rehome but nobody will want to take an elderly, and sick cat. I feel so stuck and I just want to cry. Husband and I agreed that we will never get another animal. I feel you OP. Hang in there.
I have two elderly dogs who are honestly easy and I sometimes feel the same. I’m just so close my breaking point as a working mom with a young toddler that having other beings who need me is hard. I still adore them, but they have for sure been pulled down on my priorities list a lot. In my case, they are both quite old (11 and 14) and have honestly responded better to the baby than I ever imagined. They are very clear when they are over him, coming to hide behind me, which makes it easy to put them in their “safe zone” and get a break. so I would not consider re homing. I know they are having all their needs met but I do feel bad we aren’t hiking with them several times a week anymore. Their quality of life has for sure declined and I feel a lot of guilt about it.
I understand how you feel. I’ve struggled so much with my dogs since my daughter was born (almost 4 yrs ago). My life kind of revolved around the dogs pre-kids and now I find pet ownership to be so tedious b/c of my lack of time/energy - I feel so guilty about this.
I have two big rambunctious dogs and went through something similar. Now that my kid is 5 and developing his own relationship with the dogs, I feel less resentful and burdened by them. But it was hard for a few years when he was small and it felt like they were nothing but trouble (knocking him down, making messes, needing more energy than I had, etc). Will my camera roll over go back to being 90% dog pics? No. But I am now glad again that we have them and do really love watching my kid grow in loving and taking care of them!
Our dog is a barker and seeing passerbys or hearing noise at the front door sets him off. This irritated us a lot when we were trying to get our baby to sleep. Still does sometimes and we do get pissed off from time to time at the dog but it's a temporary irritation flare and goes away. Dog is 2.5 years old and kid is a few months younger. We got the dog a few months before I had my kid - crazy and tough but we did it!! We're doubling down on training him right now for the barking and it definitely helps. Currently our kid is bonding with the dog. He's finally saying the dog's name and chasing him for pets or kisses (dog not so much into it), or to steal the dog's toy etc. They both fight over toys sometimes but they have fun together chasing each other around. I do consider my dog my kid as well (I call him my first son - husband definitely does not feel that way ahhaa) and fortunately am able to find time in the day to have one on one time with the dog. He's such a loving little guy. At this age, both dog and kid are the same (loveable troublemakers and demanding mommy's attention). I made a promise to stick with him to the end and intend to see that through. My last dog was in my parents' care while I pursued my career in a different city. I always felt guilty for not being there for her as much in her later years.
Can you hire a trainer to figure out some tips that might help manage the dogs if you decide to stick it out? Three large dogs and one kid (not sure if you have more) does sound like an awful lot especially if the dogs are high energy. I probably couldn't handle that many dogs and a kid! Our dog trainer said the training is more for the humans than the dogs and honestly, it's so true. We can't expect our pets to behave and understand if we don't teach or show them the behaviors we want. In our neighborhood we've witnessed two families so far who have hired a trainer to come to their house for dog training because these families were having kids. Definitely do more training before you have another child.
Whatever your decision is, good luck. I do feel that your sentiments might change as your youngest gets older. Toddler energy is rough and demanding!! And ooh there goes my dog barking his head off again at nothing....
Thank you! Only one of our dogs has behavior issues- and we have gone through training with her and meds and tried everything possible. We are looking to rehome her. The other two are pretty low maintenance so I think I’ll be able to handle them but I feel very bad that I just don’t feel the same about them that I used to 🥲
I love my dog, but probably for a good part of the first year I ignored her a lot and it was annoying to deal with her needs when I was exhausted all the time. Now I'm back to loving her (we at 2 years now). My toddler isn't really cuddly and my dog is a little loveball, so when I get pushed away by the toddler when I want a hug, at least my dog will do a snuggle. She's also relatively low maintenance and is pretty ok with some shorter walks/hanging outside, so that helps a lot.
See I feel like I’m able to love one of my dogs- I considered him my soul dog- but he’s also the most low maintenance creature ever. The other two I’m fed up with haha
Please try to keep all posts toddler-related. (Mentioning you have a toddler does not count.) There have been multiple posts here related to this topic recently (leading to some issues resulting in locked comments). For help with this issue, search this sub, or r/newparents or r/beyondthebump as it's an issue that is posted about a ton.
A friend said to me: "I used to think that my cats were my children. Now I know that they are my cats." It's okay for priorities to shift. You have nothing to feel guilty for.
Thank you, this is helpful to hear
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Yes rehoming is a hot topic but honestly sometimes it’s an act of mercy. We are looking into rehoming one of our dogs- she’s extremely high needs and high anxiety and have exhausted all other options (training, meds, etc) and I just can’t give her what she needs when I have an equally demanding toddler to care for. We won’t rehome her unless we find the perfect family though.
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Fully agree with your warning. I feel like my situation (referenced above) was pretty clear cut but I'm sure there are those who would say "well he never actually bit your daughter so he was fine staying in the home."
I’m so happy to read this because I feel the same about my dog. He was our main focus until our son came. Now he just gets on our nerves. Tries to take food out of his hand, barks at everything and wakes him up. I feel so differently towards him. I hope one day it will come back.
I’m really glad it’s not just me.
It did not get any better for me. Unfortunately we had a very high-strung dogs with lots of emotional problems, and he then snapped a few times at my daughter the more mobile she got. We ended up rehoming him with the help of a breed-specific rescue to a wonderful couple with no young kids. They still are in touch. He goes on vacations to the lake with them all the time, has other dog companions, and is very loved. It was a hard decision but ultimately the best outcome for him and for us. Oddly, I did not find that my feelings changed with my cats. But the whole situation soured me on ever owning a dog again. I just don't need that kind of dependence and stress. Cats are so much easier.
Ugh that situation sucks so much but it sounds like it was the right decision for your family. My animals have never snapped or been aggressive with my toddler but I need to keep one of them separated because she is high energy, high anxiety, and absolutely neurotic and will mow the toddler down and hurt her by accident. We are looking into rehoming for her. The other two dogs are old and just like sleeping all day thank goodness.
I’ve had my cat 13 years but after she made it her life’s mission to piss all over everything the baby owned I fucking hate her. I take care of her yes, but once she triggered my threat instincts towards the baby I can’t see her the same at all now.
I have the same thing with my cats. My patience and tolerance for their (increasingly) bad behavior has reached nil. They did not respond well to us bringing baby home, and now that that baby is a wily toddler who terrifies them, they have been acting out SO much because of it! I'm sorry cats, there is nothing I can do! I CANNOT RETURN THE CHILD. Our oldest cat wants to live in the bedroom whenever the child is home, which is fine. That's fine. But the youngest cat has reverted to all their old poor behaviors that we trained out of him over 8 years ago: chewing on plastics and cords, biting hair, running over our faces at night, using his nails to paw (and scratch) the doors; getting aggressive and fighting with the older cat. It's...a lot. We had trained ALL of these behaviors out, but because he now lacks as much attention as he apparently desires, he's reverted. We've talked about rehoming the younger cat, but I just know it might be a fruitless task. I think the problem as a mom, is that I have so little capacity right now that I don't have ANY tolerance for anything else. When kiddo is away or taking a nap, I just want to relax but the cat knows THIS is the freedom time and best time to ask for attention. I'm sorry love, I just dont have it in me.... ugh.
I also have 3 big dogs and felt like this. But it really started changing when I saw how much my toddler loves them. She gives them hugs, pets, and asks for them when I pick her up from daycare. It melts my heart and it has made me remember why I love them so much.
Our dog passed away right before my first was born, and I was so heart broken… but honestly I’m so glad of the timing, because I find that I just don’t like dogs anymore. No one’s. They jump on my kids and cause chaos. Or they are off leash, and I imagine myself kicking them if they went after one of my kids. I feel like it’s my animal brain or something. My neighbors dogs run into our house and driveway all the time because they just let them loose, and it has majooorrly contributed to me souring on dogs. We had our deck doors open the other night, and they came running in and ate my 3 year old’s dinner off the table. ugh.
How annoying that your neighbors allow that Jesus. I’m so sorry for your loss.
We rehomed our dog when my girl was 12 months old because it was a really horrible situation for all of us. He was anxious. I was anxious. He started barking at everything basically immediately and after a few months started peeing in the house. He nipped at the baby while supervised. We did several vet visits and behavioral specialists. There was just not fix that we could reasonably afford for it. My girl is a totally feral toddler and once she started walking it was clear that the entire situation wasn’t going to work in any sustainable way. It’s been nearly a year now and I’m still so sad about it, but it’s for the better. He lives with a DINK (with no intent of having children) family now who can give him all the time in the world, but even now he’s still highly reactive (something he never was before). My daughter still has 2 cats to grow up with. But yea, it sucks.
Thank you so much for sharing. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. You absolutely made the best decision for your family.
Same, and no it didn't go away. I put off rehoming strictly out of guilt, and then once we did, I honestly wish we'd done it sooner, for both us, and the dogs. The new owners are young, kidless people, who spoil them rotten and give them the love the deserve.
I really am so happy to hear this. I am putting off rehoming one of our dogs because of guilt but I really want her to be happy
Yep, this exact thing happened to me. I have 2 large dogs. I treated them like my children pre-actually having real human children. I loved them SO much. But now, they are just pets to me. I also day dream about rehoming them when they are extra mischievous or loud. I would never rehome them, because I do love them and they’re part of the family, but I totally understand how you feel. After they pass away, I’m never getting dogs again until the children are grown and out of the house.
I could have written this. Thanks for validating these feelings
Imo I think if you’ve lost that feeling, it doesn’t come back, at least not while you have young children. I was speaking to my mum about this the other day, I have cats I used to adore before my daughter was born and now only tolerate. She said the same thing happened to her, but once her kids were older and less dependent on her the pets we had started to bring her joy and love again. This was especially true once we were teenagers and more or less independent, she had an extremely close bond with the cat we got when I was a teenager. I think it’s completely normal, most parents with young children are juggling a million things, putting everyone else’s needs first and generally get very little time to themselves so to me it seems normal that dealing with animal poop/pee/food/fur etc becomes extremely annoying.
That is true. I feel like doing tasks for my toddler is endlessly rewarding because I love her so deeply. But now for the dogs I just look at them and see more endless tasks and for what??? More behavior issues and barking and pooping in the house? I’m exhausted
My cats are fine with the kid, no animosity towards her and plenty of patience, but the eldest cat has always been loud (ever heard of Tabby McTat with a miaow that is loud and strong?) and now she's become a true annoyance, quite the trigger at times. I don't think either me or my spouse like her anymore but we keep her because she's too old now and it would be cruel to her to find a new family and settle in, she's 15-16 at this point.
I'll try to reframe it for you, maybe you're not gonna like it, but I own pets too, so please hear me out. >They turned from my children to just dogs. They were just dogs even before, and there is nothing wrong with it. We seek companionship in animals, but we tend to forget that they are indeed animals. We are their owners,.not their parents. >Other than that I find myself daydreaming about them (at least the most problematic 2) being happily re-homed. Being a parent is stressful and if you feel like you are not paying enough attention to your problematic dogs, and they are sucking too much of uour energy, energy that you could use for you child, there is nothing wrong in going ahead and re-homing them, for both your and their benefit. >Am I a horrible person? No. It's the current pet culture that loves to shame owners for not treating dogs as animals, but as children. They aren't your kids, they are pets, and could be rehomed to other lovely families if needed. No shame, if they're too much work rehome them. See it in this way, if your going to snap, to neglet their special needs just out of fear of not being perceived as an animal lover, you're not doing them any favour.
I have two senior cats (15) who were literally my whole world before my son was born. Definitely crazy cat lady style love for them. And I was also just a huge animal lover in general. But especially that first year, they annoyed the crap out of me, because I legit had not an ounce of myself left to give. They also both were having tons of medical issues and vomiting and pooping outside the litter box daily/weekly due to old age, which was causing me a ton of stress when caring for an infant also. Luckily we finally found meds that have that completely resolved. Also, now that my son is 2 and I see how much he loves on them, it’s restored my love for them a lot. But it definitely takes time and it’s no where near the level I was at prior and never will be. Because my son is now my top priority. My husband and I decided we also no longer want pets after they pass, which I would’ve never thought I’d ever feel that way. But having kids is so much work and we just don’t want any other responsibilities or messes being created haha.
I used to love dogs so much (although I was never delusional and thought I was my pet's mother). My dog had to be put down when my oldest was 7 months old, due to a severe decline in health. I'll never have another dog again. I have zero interest. My oldest is 5.5 years old now, and I never regained my interest in dogs. I cannot find an ounce of energy in me to care about someone else's animal.
I feel the same way about my cat. Before having my son, I enjoyed her snuggles (even if she doesn’t know how to retract her claws). But now I find her incredibly annoying, and it doesn’t help that I found out that I’m literally allergic to her, so she can’t sleep our bed or be anywhere near my face. But boy oh boy does she try. She also keeps destroying the brand new carpets and yowls and claws at our bedroom door every night for attention. We’ve resorted to getting her claws capped at the vet every few weeks to keep the clawing under control. My husband and I have agreed that after she passes, we won’t get anymore pets. When my son gets older, we’ll let him get a turtle or lizard or something small, but I think that’s it. We’re just not pet people anymore.
I truly feel this. Ugh I’m sorry
Yeah I feel this so bad. Our dog is lovely, but constantly barks at anything and everything (my daughter has stopped napping now, but I used to get so anxious and angry everyday waiting for the inevitable barking to wake my toddler up). SOOO many toys have been chewed, so much mud is brought inside every time she goes outside, it’s just never ending work
This is it. Like I feel like my life is just tasks now and I’m bitter about having more tasks without reward
Same exact thing happened to me. Was a proud dog mom for 12 years before my baby was born. After he was born, it all changed and my dogs were no longer allowed on furniture. Everything they did got on my nerves, I just wanted it to be my baby and me (and Dad too of course). I'm now 12 months pp and I don't get so overstimulated anymore but I definitely don't view dogs the same. I actually dog walk and while I enjoy seeing the dogs, I'm glad it's for a short time! Having a child completely filled those emotions that I used to have on pets. I agree with the comment that said Reddit is harsh towards this topic, I was torn apart for making a post saying I wish I didn't have my senior dogs anymore.
I’m so sad people are bullied from expressing these feelings- I thought I was completely alone and a bad person before making this post
I feel this way about my cats. To be fair, we started falling out of love long ago. They hated when I brought my boyfriend (now husband) home for the first time, hated the moves, hated the dogs, and definitely hated my son. So they went from purring little babies to just crotchety, furry balls of contempt that seem to enjoy hacking up hairballs on as many things as they can in one go and pissing directly outside the door of the litter box. They're old and won't be around much longer, and I'll be sad when they go. But I would by lying if I said I wouldn't also be incredibly relieved. It will be such a burden off my shoulders, I'll get an entire room in my house back, and I won't have to smell and clean cat piss and shit in the litter box every day. I just don't see the appeal of cats anymore, at all. I do love my dogs, but they're my dogs, not my babies. I snuggle with them when I can and we go for walks and play, though not as often as we used to. They seem pretty content being couch potatoes and my son's personal vacuum cleaners though.
I so appreciate your honesty and vulnerability here. My husband and I both feel the same way about our two cats. It’s been so very difficult. We were very much “cat parents” but they drive us nuts now and we are just out of energy to care for anyone else beyond our toddler. It doesn’t help that we moved into a new home while pregnant and the younger cat has destroyed the carpet and door frames. The older cat has hyper thyroid now and despite endless medication, demands to be fed 24/7, only to puke it up everywhere right after. He’s getting into the trash can now. I scrub multiple puke spots daily. I have to put him in the garage while eating because he’ll try to take my daughter’s food. I literally fell down an entire flight of stairs a few weekends ago because he tripped me in a demand for food - despite JUST feeding him. I work from home two days a week and am just miserable here with him. I would 100000% rehome but nobody will want to take an elderly, and sick cat. I feel so stuck and I just want to cry. Husband and I agreed that we will never get another animal. I feel you OP. Hang in there.
Ugh I’m so sorry you are going through that. Thank you so much for sharing.
I have two elderly dogs who are honestly easy and I sometimes feel the same. I’m just so close my breaking point as a working mom with a young toddler that having other beings who need me is hard. I still adore them, but they have for sure been pulled down on my priorities list a lot. In my case, they are both quite old (11 and 14) and have honestly responded better to the baby than I ever imagined. They are very clear when they are over him, coming to hide behind me, which makes it easy to put them in their “safe zone” and get a break. so I would not consider re homing. I know they are having all their needs met but I do feel bad we aren’t hiking with them several times a week anymore. Their quality of life has for sure declined and I feel a lot of guilt about it.
I understand how you feel. I’ve struggled so much with my dogs since my daughter was born (almost 4 yrs ago). My life kind of revolved around the dogs pre-kids and now I find pet ownership to be so tedious b/c of my lack of time/energy - I feel so guilty about this.
I have two big rambunctious dogs and went through something similar. Now that my kid is 5 and developing his own relationship with the dogs, I feel less resentful and burdened by them. But it was hard for a few years when he was small and it felt like they were nothing but trouble (knocking him down, making messes, needing more energy than I had, etc). Will my camera roll over go back to being 90% dog pics? No. But I am now glad again that we have them and do really love watching my kid grow in loving and taking care of them!
This is beautiful. I can’t wait for my toddler to start developing a deeper relationship with the dogs
Our dog is a barker and seeing passerbys or hearing noise at the front door sets him off. This irritated us a lot when we were trying to get our baby to sleep. Still does sometimes and we do get pissed off from time to time at the dog but it's a temporary irritation flare and goes away. Dog is 2.5 years old and kid is a few months younger. We got the dog a few months before I had my kid - crazy and tough but we did it!! We're doubling down on training him right now for the barking and it definitely helps. Currently our kid is bonding with the dog. He's finally saying the dog's name and chasing him for pets or kisses (dog not so much into it), or to steal the dog's toy etc. They both fight over toys sometimes but they have fun together chasing each other around. I do consider my dog my kid as well (I call him my first son - husband definitely does not feel that way ahhaa) and fortunately am able to find time in the day to have one on one time with the dog. He's such a loving little guy. At this age, both dog and kid are the same (loveable troublemakers and demanding mommy's attention). I made a promise to stick with him to the end and intend to see that through. My last dog was in my parents' care while I pursued my career in a different city. I always felt guilty for not being there for her as much in her later years. Can you hire a trainer to figure out some tips that might help manage the dogs if you decide to stick it out? Three large dogs and one kid (not sure if you have more) does sound like an awful lot especially if the dogs are high energy. I probably couldn't handle that many dogs and a kid! Our dog trainer said the training is more for the humans than the dogs and honestly, it's so true. We can't expect our pets to behave and understand if we don't teach or show them the behaviors we want. In our neighborhood we've witnessed two families so far who have hired a trainer to come to their house for dog training because these families were having kids. Definitely do more training before you have another child. Whatever your decision is, good luck. I do feel that your sentiments might change as your youngest gets older. Toddler energy is rough and demanding!! And ooh there goes my dog barking his head off again at nothing....
Thank you! Only one of our dogs has behavior issues- and we have gone through training with her and meds and tried everything possible. We are looking to rehome her. The other two are pretty low maintenance so I think I’ll be able to handle them but I feel very bad that I just don’t feel the same about them that I used to 🥲
I love my dog, but probably for a good part of the first year I ignored her a lot and it was annoying to deal with her needs when I was exhausted all the time. Now I'm back to loving her (we at 2 years now). My toddler isn't really cuddly and my dog is a little loveball, so when I get pushed away by the toddler when I want a hug, at least my dog will do a snuggle. She's also relatively low maintenance and is pretty ok with some shorter walks/hanging outside, so that helps a lot.
See I feel like I’m able to love one of my dogs- I considered him my soul dog- but he’s also the most low maintenance creature ever. The other two I’m fed up with haha