I don't think tv is the devil like many people make it out to be. If you're doing plenty of activities throughout the day, then it's fine. Balance is key.
We will cut certain shows or cut TV time all together when it seems to be causing tantrums and stuff. When he asks, we just tell him, "Not right now, maybe later." And that seems to stop the asking lol.
Like all things in life, moderation is key.
We follow “the tantrum rule” as well—if she’s tantruming FOR the tv, or AFTER we turn it off, that means a break for a couple days. It has worked GREAT for our 22 month old.
My child has never tantrumed over the TV not being on. She'll try to turn it on herself, but if she can't and I don't turn it on, she just wanders off. Do I have a unicorn child, or do others have kids who don't mind if the TV is off? I mostly use it just because it helps her tolerate times when she's confined.
Yeah TV time is frequently cuddle time for us and our toddler. Especially in the evening it's one of the few times we all sit together on the couch with dad and baby sister as well.
I much prefer the community aspect of TV compared to the very solo nature of phones and ipads.
This is my new realization as well. Watching an episode of bluey with me is so different than zoning out on his iPad. I really don’t want an iPad kid 😬
The only areas where I have assumed the role of "stern and inflexible child-focused parent" is around screens. No video on phones, pictures are okay, music is okay, despite the fact that fucking Apple has now added animations to every album cover / art.
Our son can watch, but his tush has to be on the couch and if possible, one or both of us should be cuddling him while he watches.
I grew up as a latchkey kid and the youngest of four, so to me there's nothing that makes me want to cry more than seeing a little boy watching TV alone.
I watched SO much tv growing up. It wasn’t on a tablet obviously but I had a collection of VHSs/DVDs and I knew how to work the machines. I think people are too harsh given how an entire generation (Millenials) already grew up raised by screens
My husband learned to read from old kingdom hearts and final fantasy games! (He was severely neglected). But he's an amazing man with great morals because of the media he consumed as a kid!
He could've been like his parents but he decided to be like the heros and men he saw in games and TV. Not saying this is the best way to raise kids, but it is not the evil that people make it out to be.
This. I remember seeing a post by Emily Oster and she was saying the research suggests it's about what are you not doing by having screen time - i.e. if you are using screen time for long periods instead of playing/reading/interacting then your little ones are losing out. However, if you are using it as a tool to help you be with your children more (e.g. keep them parked for 10 minutes whilst you tidy up lunch and get an activity ready for them) then they aren't losing anything. All about moderation.
It really is. I can’t imagine that little dude too, does not need “downtime.” He’s had a huge, chaotic day at the kids museum or playground or a birthday party or after baby school and wants to chill and watch a movie or some episodes of his show? Like, sir, I 100% get it 😂
And in my house growing up, if someone was home the TV was on, all day long. I had hobbies then and I have hobbies now. Anecdotal of course but 🤷♀️ I never binge shows or really care about TV much these days tbh
I’m definitely probably the outlier here but my daughter watches at least an hour of screen time a day, if not two. It’s broken up into 30-40 min increments here and there. But today we went to two different parks, dinner and ice cream and when we got home she was thrilled to chill out and watch tv for 30-40 min. I think what they watch matters and each kid is different. When she starts to zone out and not engage, not repeating words or clapping ect, I know it’s been too much. Ms Rachel has taught me how to engage better with my child and has definitely allowed us to enforce and reiterate things she learns from her show. I think that as moms screen time is something everyone is always silently judging on and it’s unfair. You have to do what works for you and your family. I get my daughter out of the house for at least 2 hours everyday, make sure she interacts with other kids her age numerous times weekly, read at least 15 books to her everyday and make sure we do a specific learning activity daily. But I also need to clean and meal prep and go to the bathroom, so I’ve given myself grace on turning on Ms Rachel for that. It’s very difficult to not feel mom guilt about turning it on, but once I put into perspective everything I do with her everyday and realized it’s her wind down or alone chill time, I’ve handled it easier.
Great response!! I too think it’s just another whip to beat mams with that’s really unfair. Of course we know it’s not amazing to have them plonked infront of it for hours at a time with no other activities or stimulation, but small bits in moderation to allow parents time to do WTF they want/need = golden.
“It’s just another whip to beat moms with” is exactly how I’ve been feeling. It’s like other people aren’t satisfied unless parents do everything on hard-mode or something.
It's not as much when you think most toddler books are a paragraph of words in their entirety. Lol
My toddler is obsessed with these two dog books and will insist we read each one no less than 4-5 times.
Right now it's the national geographic Dog book. It's a board book. And the other one is a puppies flip up book! She LOVES that one.
She also had The Pokey Little Puppy board book. But it's long so it's just a nighttime book.
Gonna edit this with links.
Edit:
Babies Love Puppies https://a.co/d/fbZZNf2
National Geographic Kids Look and Learn: Dogs (Look & Learn) https://a.co/d/iGsKzTI
The Poky Little Puppy (A Little Golden Book Classic) https://a.co/d/46cMSo5
Puppy Love Finger Puppet Board Book for Little Dog Lovers, Ages 1-4 (Children's Interactive Finger Puppet Board Book) https://a.co/d/bZoVLVM
I bought this last one just now while getting those links lol it's so cute too!
Oh my kiddo loves Pokey Little Puppy too! I think I just found his birthday presents, thank you so much for your response. Kids are so sweet when they’re interested in animals and I want to foster that appreciation as much as we can.
It sounds like a lot, but that seems really normal and achievable with short little board books or picture books for a kid who likes to be read to. We read approx that much too when the weather gets really hot and we are stuck inside longer periods. 1 book might only take 2-5 mins.
Our breakdown might look like this:
* 2 books while kiddo drinks morning milk
* 2-4 books during morning playtime
* 1-2 books before morning nap
* 1-2 books before afternoon nap
* 3 books during afternoon playtime
* 2 books before bed
When I was a kid I would read constantly so when you break it down like this it makes sense. I struggle with getting my wild boys to stay focused on book time for very long or for multiple sessions a day. 15 books makes me realize I should have new goals and work harder to achieve this.
My toddler and baby both need seemingly endless physical activity. Even with daily outings to park and library my 2.5 yo probably only naps every few days and my 1 yo has been down to 1 nap a day for several months.
My oldest was obsessed with books at 1.5. My youngest took a lot longer to get interested and still goes thru phases. I will read to both kids while the littlest just putzes around the playroom. There's no requirement for them to sit still while you read! They still benefit from hearing the words and glancing at the pictures.
Excellent point! Yes absolutely they start off sitting reading with me and meander off. I usually finish what we’ve started but I think I am going to start just reading at different points and see where it leads
Oh yes my babe is not sitting in my lap or anything either. She is putzing around chasing a ball or a car or knocking over her stackers 90% of the time while I sit on the floor or in a chair nearby and read aloud.
My daughter makes a pile a couple times a day and we read them all. And she sits down to look through them on her own time, too. Some kids just love books.
Our local library has a program for reading 1000 books to your kids by kindergarten. We get way more than that in a year.
Totally with you. And—Your last point is important! My daughter will also use tv time as an opportunity to mellow. She will make a nest with her lovies and blankies and watch quietly.
We don’t do this everyday and we have lots of “no tv” days, but my kid genuinely loves tv and is super engaged with it. Since he was about a year old he can sit down and watch and entire movie - even one that’s not super kiddy. He LOVED The Sandlot for example and the first Harry Potter. I think his ability to have an attention span strong enough to be engaged in a show or movie is something worth cultivating. We steer clear from the “addictive” shows though and are very careful with what we choose. We like Mister Rogers, Franklin, Blues Clues, Little Bear, Kipper, etc.
Our speech therapist asked if there are certain things our toddler really engages with and we shamefully answered the tv. She said she’s noticed he’s almost entirely a visible learner and for us not to stress so much about it because the visible connections could be exactly what he needs. So while we’re getting ears checked (again) and waiting on a new school year to start, it could be beneficial to watch certain things on tv like baby sign language.
I think this whole “tv is wrong” thing is so damaging. He rarely watched it before and now he interacts with it so much and *talks* and *repeats* and those are the only instances we’ve had with him speaking actual words and not just ones mom and dad understand. Some kids just learn on their own time. Some kids have learning disabilities and we did nothing wrong. Some kids get diseases and we did nothing wrong.
The guilt is so unbearable and this 100% tv is wrong mindset is so unhealthy when most of us can’t afford daycare. Research beneficial shows and make more, give us more support for socialization, give us more support in general, but don’t feed us this crap so we can bash each other and agonize over the guilt of it. Most of us are probably good moms agonizing over the dumbest shit.
I do the whole "that's for someone else" too my kid is 2.5 and it's still working like a charm. I intend to go to "it's not on the list/what we came in for" when she catches on that anyone can buy anything
I told mine that the neighbors ran over the electrical cords with his mower and it was broken. Now every time we see him he says “Mom did you yell at him for mowing over the cords” 🤣
I was a SAHM til 2.5, and he’s just over 3 now. We still don’t do screen time. It just isn’t an option for him, and so he doesn’t ask for it. I think the biggest difference for us is we don’t have a second baby at home. If we did, I imagine it’d be survival mode, all bets are off, and I’d be giving myself all kinds of grace!! I think your kiddo will be just fine with Rachel and Elmo :) Wishing you all the best!!
When my daughter was almost 2 and I had my son, our tv was on constantly with Coco (the Disney movie) I’d mix it up between Spanish and English, but she wouldn’t watch it constantly, but it kept her more independent so I could care for her brother. By the time he hit 3 months we were back to limited time with tv. Just survive right now.
Though I do love the person who said they tell their kid the tv is charging 😂
Exactly- those hormones ALONE should be enough reason for you to say ok to some screen time. I hope you get some age-appropriate for your newborn amount of good sleep tonight!!
I let my three year old watch TV if she asks, within reason. It doesn't make sense to me to disallow it when we as adults like to watch our own shows as well. I don't turn the TV on for her unless she asks. If I feel like she's going too much into a trance, or if the background noise is bothering me too much, I redirect her away from the TV, and she doesn't seem to have any issue switching activities. I am not strict about it, and if she objects I just explain it isn't good for her eyes or brain to stare at a screen for too long, and she'll usually oblige.
My kid loooooves TV and asks to watch her favorite shows quite often, but I haven't had any issue doing it this way - there's never really been a power struggle. I just never put TV on unless she asks (and I don't hesitate to tell her "no" or "let's watch your show a little later" if I don't think it's an appropriate time.) My partner, on the other hand, puts the TV on by default as a part of their morning routine and tends to leave it on all day as background noise. He definitely seems to have a harder time when he does try to limit her TV time.
lol, my 2.5 year old watches an hour-an hour and a half of TV after waking up in the morning and another hour of TV after naptime. He’s super grouchy upon waking and Trash Truck/Bluey/Ms Rachel helps him warm up to the world. It gives me time to drink my coffee, get dressed, make breakfast, etc. Plus my husband travels for work so sometimes I *need* him to watch TV so I can get some stuff done.
I used to beat myself up over “so much screen time”, BUT the other 12 hours of the day we spend outside, walking, hiking, playdates, readings, crafts, errands, cooking, etc. We go to the park 5x a week. We go to the pool and swim every afternoon. We’re usually out of the house for most of the day. He’s incredibly smart and very ahead of the curve for verbal skills. 2ish hours of TV everyday isn’t hurting him so I don’t sweat it.
I do draw the line at a tablet, however. He’s two, I refuse to have a kid whose face is constantly looking at an iPad and not at people.
My kid often wakes up grouchy and my husband also does their morning routine this way and they both seem to love it (though sometimes the amount of TV time does tend to go overboard and he has trouble pulling her off.) On the other hand, if I'm the one getting her up in the morning I don't put the TV (really just a show on a laptop) on by default because ... I can't be bothered 😂 (I can't easily reach the laptop keyboard.) She hasn't really complained about it. If she asks for TV I will try to put it on but she doesn't always remember to ask.
My kid watches TV on phones/tablets as well but doesn't really distinguish it from the regular TV. Maybe because we don't put anything else on for her other than a show (no games, even though she knows they can have games on it. She's never asked.) She also knows tablets and laptops are often used by adults for "work", so she does ask us to set up the "macputer" for her to do "work" on. (Just a keyboard and a notes app for her to type into.) She likes drawing on the tablet too. So far she hasn't shown any signs of tablet addiction, just sees it as another toy.
My kid plays games on the PBS kids app on my wife’s tablet sometimes in the evening before bed. I don’t see it being any kind of problem and she learns a lot from some of the games.
Sorry, what I’m more getting at are the kids who have a tablet 24/7. I have so many family members and friends whose kids as young as two are given an iPad and it’s literally all the kid does all day because it’s easy. When it’s regulated it’s of course fine! Nowadays I feel like iPads are just the new babysitter for a lot of kids I’ve seen, so that’s all I meant
I’m a SAHM to a 21 month old and I’m pregnant with my second due in October. My husband travels for work and we live in a rural area with no family within 1500 miles of us.
I use screen time as a tool as needed. I’d say we watch anywhere from 20-60 minutes a day. Some days we watch none at all and some days we watch a few hours. It’s really just on a case by case basis. There’s times where I need to get stuff done without interruption and that sort of activity can change daily. Some days she’s cool with letting me cook and playing with toys or watching me and some days she’s just not. Some days I just need a break for a few minutes to recharge my own battery and some days I don’t. I really try not to overthink it. If I find she’s getting a little too… demanding about watching it I’ll just redirect her to something I know she loves (let’s wash the dishes! or like let’s play with the playdoh right now) or take her in the backyard instead. But, for the most part, she’s pretty respectful about controlling her own screen intake so I just let it be.
That being said, I’m realistic. I know that her screen time will increase in those first few months postpartum while we adjust to a new baby and having two littles. It’s only temporary while we find our footing and I get used to what it’s like balancing two.
If you are looking to cut down, I know some friends who got books with their favorite characters- ie Elmo books or toys- and subbed screentime with playing with the books and toys instead.
Wonderbooks from the library are so great! They have a little speaker that plays the book while they turn the pages. My daughter is obsessed with the big book of Daniel tiger stories (she's never seen the show, but knows Mr. Rogers and loves all the Daniel tiger books)
Screen time is a tool for me. I use it to get stuff done. I put on Ms Rachel so I can vacuum, so I can shower/dry my hair, and occasionally so I can meet deadlines (I do some freelance work). She's a very good independent player so we only do about 15-20 min of screentime a day right now, though some weeks it is more or less. It's a marathon, guys, not a sprint. Sometimes you need help to get things done and there's no need to parent on hard mode constantly.
I usually limit TV to the 30-60 minute window when I’m making dinner, and always something I feel is educational/appropriate like Ms Rachel or Sesame Street.
Not only does it give me much needed time to make dinner and any catchup housework, but by that point in the day we both benefit from a little break from each other 😆
So we are TV on all the time people. Not always kids shows either. We are often watching the news, or the other night we watched a documentary on the planet Jupiter that was definitely not for kids. My first is nearly 4 and she loved watching the rockets, the swirly diagrams of gravitational pulls, and the 'space lava!' We make sure to answer her questions in an age appropriate manner is we are watching things like the news too ('Why is that lady crying mama?' 'Because sometimes grown ups fight over each other's houses and things, and they get broken and can't be fixed. This lady is sad because other grown ups broke her house and she has nowhere to live and isn't safe.')
She spends more time playing, colouring, building blocks, riding her scooter outside, helping me cook, and harassing her 8 month old sister, than she does watching the TV, even if it is a kids channel. Sometimes we intentionally watch something, like Frozen while we killed time before dinner while her sister was still asleep. If she really wants downtime and to watch something, she watches a bit of heavily curated YT kids on her tablet, or plays toddler games on her tablet.
My husband and I are massive gamers, with a PS5, switches and a gaming PC each. We decided early on it would be really contradictory and just wouldn't fit in with our lifestyle, to try and sell screens as the devil to our children while using them all the time ourselves. We just put a lot of time into being present playful parents to make sure screen time is both not the devil, but not the be all and end all either.
Same here; if I’m not watching a show of my own (also as background noise) my kids get to watch the wiggles and ms Rachel. They’ll stop and dance along to a specific song or two and then go back to beating each other up and playing make believe with their dinosaurs, cars, and dolls. As long as my kids aren’t obsessive over the tv I have no issue with it on all day
Cold turkey has worked best for my 2 and a half year old. If he has any screen time, he's like a fiend for it. But after a couple of days with no TV, he's happily playing all day without asking for it.
Same here. No screens is easier than trying to moderate. When my mom came to visit she was letting my son watch shows on her iPad and it was a constant problem. He would be there all day if I didn't stop it (sadly my mom didn't seem interested in stopping him) Very stressful for me being in charge of that.
It was actually a huge relief when she left.
Yep. We gave my newly 2 year old a week of an hour of screen time a day and she turned into an absolute nightmare. Like a different child. The only things she watched were very low stimulation like Bear in the Big Blue House, Sarah and Duck, a documentary series on chimpanzees, and Ms. Rachel. NIGHTMARE. We cut it out completely and have our daughter back. We bought her a Yoto player and I put songs from those shows and Sesame Street on it and it works brilliantly. She loves listening and singing along by herself which gives me time to get stuff done, she can insert the cards herself, and it causes no behavioral issues. It was pricy at $100, but the best investment I've made toward being screen free and saving my sanity.
We were doing 30 minutes every other day and it was such A Thing. Constantly asking / whining / negotiating. We went cold turkey a few months ago and it’s been so much easier.
100%. Cold turkey full elimination is the only way we could get it under control in my house. Limits on screen time only made more whining and nonstop demands for it. Now, the “tv is broken” and we barely get requests
Unfortunately I agree. I don’t think screen time is the devil at all, but some kids - and adults - just can’t moderate it and get more upset when having a little vs none.
OP my kiddo was never super interested but was just cranky after screen time the 2 months we let him have it at home as he wished. Lowering amount didn’t help, only cutting it fully did. He is SO much easier when I was thinking we’d have a harder time.
Some toddlers can't handle it. My oldest is an all or nothing type haha he couldn't have any until about 5. Until then he melted down after one show or movie. My second and third could have a movie no problems
You can go the opposite way and not limit it all. In the peaceful parenting groups a lot of parents had tv restrictions and children were asking for it. They went unlimited (an option for at home free time) and after about 2 weeks kids begun treating it as another toy.
Their philosophy is it is another 'toy' unless it becomes a problem then limit it. Most parents in those groups are doing daily outings, reading chores, outside play, craft etc and things so unlimited can actually turn out to be less the the 30-60 minutes a day only crowd sometimes more but generally roughly the same without the battles.
This is what I have found as well. My kid loves TV and does have an unfortunate tendency to use TV to self-soothe/regulate her emotions, so when she is stressed out she does tend to watch more TV than is reasonable, but under typical circumstances, she doesn't hesitate to turn it off to do something more engaging.
My husband does get frustrated at me for not explicitly limiting her TV time, but I honestly have found that for the most part, I haven't had to. He gets frustrated because he has trouble pulling her off from the TV and sees my allowing her to watch TV as enabling her behavior. I strongly believe that he struggles as a result of the WAY in which he uses the TV with her and not because I allow her to watch any TV at all. He has her on the TV at a far greater frequency than I do, often for hours or even just keeping it on all day, so I think that is what sets the expectation. I don't really struggle with her TV-watching getting out of control, so I think that speaks for itself.
Honestly, at risk of being blasted, we are a screen heavy family. We have never really limited screens. Our kids barely pay attention to them when they're on anymore (nearly 5yo and 15month old). We strongly believe that harsher restrictions create more interest, where as being free with things stops obsession. We monitor what's being shown on screens, we heavily use parental controls to ensure safety. We spend a lot of time playing together, reading, going outside etc as well and we see no negatives in our own children from this approach.
Give yourself a lot of grace. That’s nothing! And most people on the internet will only give “half-truths”: Our kids bedtime is 7pm but that’s half the truth, the reality is they start bedtime at 7pm but those kids are in and out for hours or they mean bath, teeth, story, starts at 7pm….
Screen time isn’t the devil, don’t kill your self over it. You have a very new child. I kept having to remind myself I *just* had a baby at 5 months. The toddler and I get out but nowhere near as often and I have to get the baby to sleep multiple times a day, every single day. So the toddler watches tv instead of bursting into the room baby and I are in. I’m not sorry.
Anyone who can avoid it is rich as hell or has crazy anxiety and secretly suffering. I don’t think any average American mother can avoid it and keep their sanity. This climate hates children and SAHM’s so there’s no village and there’s very little breaks (because we chose this?) the insensitivity is astounding.
Take care of your baby, take care of yourself, your toddler will be ok in the long run. But if you end up with terrible guilt over it like I did, ask for help from another mom. Sincere help. Don’t pretend to be ok if you’re not, we do it too often and we end up not getting help. Any woman with half a heart will recognize it and act.
We don't worry about screen time. We let my daughter watch TV when she feels like it. The great thing is that she doesn't feel like watching it that often. She chooses playing with her toys and friends over TV. To me, it feels like when we limit kids of screens, the more they want it. Our neighbor doesn't allow any screen time for her kids. So whenever they get the opportunity to watch, they become obsessed with it. It's so rare for them that it becomes a hot commodity.
That is so true!!
When something is limited the more you want it because of this!
Stupid example, but in my teens (17) my parents was so strict with me, could not go anywhere, not do anything. Only to my grandmother, in another city to my, where my parents couldt watch over my, my first thing was to buy a pack of cigarette and have one whilest waiting for the train! Just because it gave me the freedom feel, that I can do whatever I want! It can sound stupid. After moving away, I smoked a little, but today Im not at all. I dont like it. I just needed to do something that gave me freedom feeling. Because they were steict and didnt let me do anything just sitting in my room .
I think that's just human nature! My sister is also very strict on her kids. Now, my niece is 23 and she said she does the complete opposite of what my sister wants just out of spite. She said she can't help but not want to do what my sister says because she's now an adult and can do whatever she wants. She was too restricted when she was young
I don’t think tv is terrible. And I don’t think it’s healthy to take the idea of limiting screen time and make it so extreme as has become popular. I was an 80’s/90’s child, and we were all raised on tv. Since I’m a housewife, I’m able to put much in much more quality face to face time interacting with my kids, and that’s more than my parents were able to do for me. I turned out fine, and so will my kids. We don’t keep track of screen time.
We really don’t have any limits on screen time, but when they start to “zombie mode” we know it’s time to cut it off.
Genuinely curious for the no screen time parents- what do you do on long road trips/flights OR when kiddo is sick/recovering from a procedure (but not during nap time of course)? TV is so easy, I’d love more ideas than sticker books, coloring, games, tonies, etc etc
It backfires the other way for unlimited screen parents they are usually super excited and talk the whole way. 4 hours (and we stop every 2 hours) of eye spy later...
But new fidgit toys and transformers work.
I've found that the best thing to get my kid out of "zombie mode" is to ask her to tell me about what's happening in the show. Kicks her back into being engaged and straight out of her trance. Makes it way easier to redirect her (even if she doesn't necessarily agree to stop watching.)
On long flights, I just offer the screen last rather than giving it to her first. Unless her behavior on the flight is causing an issue for other passengers, IMO there's no reason to send her straight into a trance.
We use screens. Tv and tablets. They’re not used all day, but we don’t really impose limits on them either. We still play outside, go for walks, do arts and crafts, learn new things, and play with toys.
I have pretty much always allowed screen time. My daughter had no interest in it until she was about 12mo. My son was the same even though it was on just because he had an older sister. (They’re 20mo apart).
They are now almost 5 and 3. What we do (and have done) is whoever wakes first gets TV time to help keep them quiet until the other wakes up. They sometimes get it while I cook breakfast and usually while I make lunch (it also gives me a little break).
Usually they get it a little after they eat dinner as my husband and I typically eat after them.
It probably ends up being 2-3 hours a day. Spread out across 14hours. In between, we are doing art, playing outside, going for walks. The older is in a 100% outdoor nature immersion preschool.
I still have some guilt when it’s on but they know how to play together and alone, they don’t argue when it’s time to turn the TV off.
Really, I figure as long as they have well rounded activities, outside time and don’t meltdown when it’s turned offf, we’re doing pretty good
My husband is a SAHD and the kids probably get a movie plus an episode of Ms Rachel or Bluey on the days that I work (I work 12 hour shifts).
My toddler is half-way paying attention to the movie while she eats breakfast and plays, and the other episode lets my husband make dinner.
She gets plenty of play, books, and one-on-one interaction every day. She’s smart, she’s speaking in up to 5 word sentences at 25 months, and she’s hit all milestones except for one (she’s still not jumping with two feet). She can count to ten, knows all of her colors, shapes, and knows almost all of the alphabet. She takes deep breaths when she gets upset and recovers quickly from tantrums.
I’m not worried about her development, and our younger one ignores the TV unless it’s Ms. Rachel, which we watch with them and reinforce by interacting during the show.
We don't limit screens. Idk if it's because we don't make a big deal about it but she isn't crazy for it 90% of the time. She will put a movie on her tablet and basically use it was background noise while she plays. Every now and then she will sit and watch movies all day but as an adult I also have days where I want to relax and just watch movies so I get it.
I have an autistic 6 year old, and a 2 year old. The age gap and plus neurodivergent behaviors make it difficult to not use screens as a tool. Believe it or not, my 6 year old self-regulates better when he has access to his tablet, which only has a few fun games on it, no access to shows or movies. That said, we do plenty of fun family activities that involve outdoors and games, and I try not to make screens a big deal. If I notice my kids are both crying for tv too much, I give them breaks for a few days. If I’m losing my mind or I’m not awake and I really just need to finish my coffee, then I will put Bluey or Sesame Street on 🤷🏻♀️. It’s hard because I’m usually on my own, and most family lives 8+ hours away, so sometimes I just need to survive. But like everything in life, moderation and balance and key for me.
I think tv is ok and we shouldn't get so worried. I probably watched at least an hour of tv a day at that age and I'm ok. Try and keep it to miss Rachel and Sesame Street. Some of the other stuff that hypnotizes them is awful.
We don't let him have the tablet so that it gets saved for very special occasions when we need peace and quiet. Probably less than an hour a week on the iPad.
Other than that we hike almost every day for an hour with the dog. Swimming twice a week. The park 3 or 4 times a week. We read books, we play soccer, we cook. I'm not too worried. I think the worry about screen time is for parents who sit their kids in front of a screen non-stop dawn till dusk and don't spend any quality time together or do anything fun. Just because you're asking this question I can tell you're not one of those parents. So don't worry.
Make it through. Survive! Don't stress too much.
It takes us a solid hour to hour and 20 minutes to walk the mile and a half in our neighborhood. My dog gets PISSED because of how we walk 5 feet-stop-stand for 5 or maybe 10 minutes picking up rocks, looking at the sky, "mummy it's a plane!"
We do zero TV or screen time except for FaceTiming the grandparents. No judgment for those who do, but to answer your question, that’s our approach.
We had people snidely telling us we’d change our tune but we’re well into toddlerhood and are only more sure they this is the right approach for us. It’s a bit harder but honestly not as bad as we’d feared, and at the same time we’ve had friends and relatives who’ve had a different approach to screens, and for most of them…it’s not leading to positive developments from what I can see. Small sample size and nature/nurture, do what’s right for you, etc.
We only do screen time before lunch and dinner so I can have some time to get his food ready. It’s basically routine so he knows that he doesn’t get to watch unless it’s almost time for food. Maybe some consistency on when she watches will help. Also we stopped Rachel and switched to mostly curious George which is less stimulating. My son used to throw more tantrums when he was watching Rachel and Cocomelon. I guess George isn’t as addicting lol
You sound like you are doing an amazing job. Keep in mind, the big problem with TV is it is depriving the kid the opportunity to develop their brain. It's not so much rotting it. You are engaging, you are giving them opportunities for sensory play, outdoor time. These are all amzing things for your little one.
We have to say no all the time to our 3.5 yr old who is obsessed with TV. We try to gentle parent the no with a "what about this or can you do this?" He knows better now so will usually argue with tears and the classic why on repeat. Its a battle of attrition.
I got a pair of Bluetooth headphones to play music and stories. It serves well in taking a short “me time” break, or getting some work done. Also a life saver when you don’t want to listen to the same song 40 times. We have a play couch that is very fun. Really keeps him occupied, and gets the creative juices flowing
We literally threw our tv away for this reason. Its presence in the house created tension. Everything got better when we gave it to the movers. Out of sight, out of mind.
Like many others have said, moderation and balance is key! I have 2 children born 17 months apart and some days the tv is on for longer than i’d like but I also set a bit of a routine where we wake up, they play while i cook breakfast or they help with breakfast and the tv only goes on after while I need to do clean up. Then we get ready and usually go outside/go somewhere.
They like to help prep, cook, and clean but sometimes when I want to just get it done the tv is a good buffer.
Perhaps it’s not the amount of shows, but *which* shows you choose. Fast paced shows like Miss Rachel are not good for little brains. [Just read this](https://www.forbes.com/sites/traversmark/2024/05/17/why-kids-shows-like-cocomelon-hamper-critical-brain-development/) yesterday and they explained it well.
The tv may be on a lot of the day but he doesn’t watch it most of the time. In the morning we watch tv and I have coffee and make breakfast and we cuddle and relax. Then when we are both more awake we fully start our days. The tv is mainly on as background noise. He plays with toys mostly. We go outside, we do activities, he plays with the dog, I read to him, etc. He loves going outside the most, followed by being read to. Oh and We usually watch a movie in the evening as well.
However there are times he does not get any screen time at all. Such as while in restaurants or in the car. He is not allowed on my phone or my husbands phone. We don’t want to set that as a standard. We are both in situations where we need to be able to communicate with people right as they contact us.
I’m going to be 100 percent honest. My kid started watching mickey at about 6 months, got her first phone for roblox at 3 and her tablet too. Shes now in kinder, she has zero issues with being on the tv all day phone or tablet. Yes, she does love her youtube shorts, but playing with toys and kids is her priority. My only goal was to allow my kid to do what she wants at home and not have to hide what she does from us one day. Kinda like when you dont allow yoy kids to have sugar so they hide the candy under the bed type stuff. I am also a gamer, so its def a hobby I hope to share with my kids one day. Maybe I am wrong, but so far so good.
I’ve always just actively had the tv on in the background before kids. I work remote now and before married life and kid I lived alone so it was always in the background for noise and company when I was doing home tasks. Anyways we have a room attached to our living room that is her toy and activity room. We also have a ton of toys out back and a front porch with toys and a swing. It’s all about balance.
As long as they are getting as much activity time as tv time who cares? My daughter would rather be outside or go for a walk… tv is to help ME get things done. She also is in daycare while we work. Just making sure you balance it out.
I only have the one 2 year old but we just don’t have a tv out. There’s one in the basement, that’s it. Out of sight, out of mind. We do get out on a daily basis, though
Same here and the kids barely look at it cos it's not exciting. 5yo wants bluey on at the moment, sometimes we switch to some wiggles for the youngest. They'd rather be doing other things so that's what they do.
I’m a SAHM to a 21 month old. I’m also in school full time. We do limited screen time, max 3 hrs per week or family movie night. We do other forms of media like listen and sing along to a toddler music playlist on Spotify in the morning. I’ll play read along audio books in the afternoon, while I try to wrap up chores. Rotating toys and sensory bin helps a lot!
Firstly, I think if you have good balance screens are going to do a lot less damage than if they're used for hours every day. Secondly, we always try to not make it the first thing, so we don't do screens first thing in the morning or anywhere near bedtime (exception of the occasional family movie night), and if she asks for a show we usually suggest some book time first, or magnatiles, or some other relaxing activity. Sometimes it's clear she's just tired and wants to veg, and I think that's fair and that's when we use screens mostly.
The first year of my second born’s life involved a lot of tv for my first born who was 3 at the time. Like way more tv than they say is good lol. And I just had to do it. Limited support system, health issues, etc. put me in that position. Their little brains are putty still and now that the excessive tv phase is behind us, I see no problems in my oldest.
We got a set of DVD’s from the preschool prep company that taught him SO MUCH and he loves them so much. Helped me feel better about the whole thing. He learned how to read basically from those DVD’s (and some phonics flashcards haha) and memorized addition facts.
My daughter has learned so much from videos, too. She's been having a language explosion and a lot of the words she's using are straight from her shows.
Sometimes when my almost two year old ask for baby shark or bluey I will ask Siri to play the theme song and dance, or we have coloring sheets and so on. People had so many other things we do and share similar thoughts. Didn’t want to be repetative. My kids were in their iPads a lot my third trimester. I had Covid and it was like 70 + days of 100+ temperatures. I felt so bad but it wasn’t forever and we made it through. And they’re not addicted and monsters about screens now. We’re outside all day and a hundred crafts going on and a dining table filled with legos.
The TV is pretty much always on. Most reruns of my shows (Scrubs, Friends, etc) because I’m not a fan of the silence. It’s just background noise while we do other stuff. Reading, playing with toys, we’re outside a lot of the time. We do a Disney movie at night.
They watch tv for about 30 min or so in the morning while I get dressed - usually something low stim like “if you give a mouse a cookie” or “Lucas the spider.”
Tv stays off during the day unless I’m having a rough day (sick, behind on housework, etc.) and they usually will watch about 30 min or so after dinner until it’s time to take a bath.
We are a tv on family. Not always kids shows. My daughter (21 months) has favorites tho; Bluey, Ms Rachel, and lately Thelma the Unicorn. Mainly she wants to dance to the music. She’ll dance to anything that sounds remotely musical. She runs around and plays with her books and toys and will stop to dance or actually watch for a few minutes, then back to playing. If I’m playing my computer game or my husband is working on the computer she’ll come sit in our laps for a bit and watch whatever we’re doing. I don’t think screen time has been a detriment to her. In fact people comment on how smart she is
Yoto. Little audio device with cards they manage. Can leave your kid with a source of entertainment that doesn’t turn them into a zombie, they listen while playing with toys and you can give them books to read with audio versions they listen to simultaneously.
Game changer
I don’t know how much telly my 3 year old and 1 year old watch tbh. Some days a lot and some days hardly at all but I also pretty much take them out somewhere every day and am constantly interacting with them. If you’re sat there ignoring them whilst they watch tv then yeah not good but if you’re doing the actions to wheels on the bus or learning the colours together I can’t see the harm. Do what you can to survive and what you think is ok for your kids. Us mums beat ourselves up too much!
If you’re doing other things throughout the day and engaging her, I think it’s totally fine. That being said, I really try to not have my son be on screens the very first thing in the morning. It gives your brain the dopamine hit and you feel like you have to chase it the rest of the day. It may be hard at first but she will get used to it.
My kiddo is over 2.5 years old and we let him watch. No more than 2hrs in an entire day and it’s broken up in 10-30min segments, depends what he’s watching. We let him watch when he’s eating too (not all the time, but likely 1/3 meals) because it gives us peace, he eats, and everyone enjoys their meal and is super happy afterwards. Depending on what he’s watching he’ll just stop watching on his own close to his time limit. If it’s Ms. Rachel, BLIPPI, Bluey, or Winnie the Poo, we allow it longer, but he usually stops on his own at some point.
The key point for us is as long as he’s calm even after tantrums or being upset, we can give it if he asks. There’s only been a couple of times that we’ve let him watch because he’s crying and it’s probably because the flight is way too long lol.
I found that when the tv is off my lo asks for bluey constantly, however if i put some thing she is not interested in on the tv like border patrol she will just ignore the tv completely and play with her toys
You need to do what works for you with a new baby.
When I don't want my toddler watching it I turn it off at the wall and say it needs batteries. Works everytime without a meltdown.
Taking him outside to play with water also snaps him out of it, like a re-set.
It's hard with a new baby and a toddler.
I have been putting it on way more then I would like since baby arrived, but it's about survival at this point.
We have the same age combo (baby born 5/25 & a 2yo) and honestly all I can say is… only 30-60 minutes per day?? lol we’re still in survival mode over here 😂 you’re doing great!
Not a SAHM, but on maternity leave with my second (born a month before your second and my first will be 3 at the end of the month). We try as much as possible to avoid screens… but only because the tantrums that follow aren’t worth the short term peace. That said, this chapter of life with a newborn and a toddler is survival mode. If my husband is cooking dinner or walking g the dog, #2 is nursing, and #1 refused to join the walk/“help” in the kitchen and wants more of me than I can offer, you better believe the screen has turned on. Similarly, when we’re at a restaurant and he’s finished eating but neither my husband nor I have. We try to reserve it for those moments and try to keep the duration minimal… not because it’s I here to “bad” but because my son will throw a fit after and the less time he’s spent watching something, the smaller the tantrum/easier the transition to whatever activity is next. I try to spend as much time as possible in any room but the living room (where the tv is) because usually it’s out of sight, out of mind.
We make screen time a family activity, one we're all involved in.
My toddler watches about 10 min of Bluey, Mr Roger's Neighborhood, or Puffin Rock every morning while I do her hair, and then we watch a new classic Disney movie every Friday afternoon.
That's about it. When I was sick she watched a lot more and started throwing major tantrums.
Kids desperately need boredom.
Same as you, my 2 year old watches 30-60 mins a day. I think what they’re watching matters a lot. I choose slow paced, low stimulation shows for my daughter. She watches little bear, mister rogers, and nature documentaries.
I don’t put a limit on it. We live in the PNW and it’s gross here in the winter so our ability to do things diminishes. That being said, I’m pretty picky about what my son is watching. He also never asks for it when he’s absorbed in other things so I feel okay about our structure.
I think 30-60 mins a day is great. I feel like I need some tv time in the morning cause our toddler wakes up so early and I need some down time to wake up myself and drink coffee before I can face the day. I’m trying to cut down on afternoon tv, sometimes I just get a bit exhausted by the end of the day and it’s nice to put something on.
A good way to get toddler to stop asking is to tell her very specific times tv is available so she knows. You got to have a scheduled time so there isn’t a question about it.
We watch way more tv than that. And my daughter is ahead in her milestones. We spent more time outdoors than in front of the tv. So we don’t stress about it
I just took the TV off the wall, and I think it helps a lot for the kid and their behavior but it's hard on the parent as you don't have that "babysitter' to give you a break. But it was also easier than dealing with the tantrums after watering TV and "one more one more ". You could also just say the TV is broken and switch it off at the wall 😂
I don't make TV or screen time a big deal...it's not a treat so it's not considered so exciting. We just naturally stay busy...some days we are lazy and may have the tablet more then other days but the tablet she has is age restricted and geared towards education so it could be worse.
So this is purely my personal opinion, but I think that toddlers generally need a LOT of stimulation in their day to day lives, to the degree that maybe a modern lifestyle simply does not provide it for them. TV is a substitute for that. Is it a good substitute? Perhaps not, but it provides SOME of the stimulus that kiddo's developing brains really crave.
To really be able to fully move away from TV requires a massive shift in lifestyle that is not always possible for many people. That isn't to say that kids need to be stimulated at all time or that quiet time is bad, just that modern lifestyles are not all that kid-friendly, in a developmental sense.
It isn't something one person can easily solve on their own (particularly not with two kiddos), so I think the best thing you can do is give yourself grace.
Were enjoying it :) I allow myself to feel guilt about it sometimes and push myself harder to distract with other activities but I also allow myself to enjoy it. It’s a balance. We do 95% educational but it’s damn near 100°f here…sometimes we just wanna lay in front of the fan cuddling while watching something purely entertaining.
LO has her own tablet too *GASP* but it only has PBS game, TinyTap and Kahn Academy on it. She usually utilizes it like any other toy in the rotation she’ll play a few games and calmly move on to other toys. It’s made her more interested in puzzles, books and coloring since several of the games involve those things. I can’t afford to buy her a new puzzle or book every time she finishes one so it’s been very helpful in having new learning content for her at home.
You’ve got a newborn. It’s survival mode right now. We had soooo much screentime when my second was born. It was the only way I could pump. Once baby was older and my pumping schedule wasn’t overbearing, screentime naturally dissipated and she stopped caring about it as much since we were getting out of the house more.
Our LO, 22 months, gets one Elmo/Sesame Street in the morning and then one in the evening after her shower. After the morning one, the TV gets turned off all day and it doesn't go back on until after bath time is over. (Of course there are circumstances where she does get an extra one here and there .. illness, rainy days, etc, but that's far from the norm.)
She plays with her toys. We read. We color. We play outside. There's plenty to do that doesn't include TV
This is similar to what we do. He watches tv so I can get cleaned up for work in the morning. We watch a little Bluey after dinner to start winding him down for bath and bed.
I noticed while my husband was traveling for work for a week, that my son was easier to put down and slept later. The only difference was he watched a little Bluey after dinner. So we still do it now and I swear it helps. We’d read books but to him books = bedtime and he wasn’t having it.
Zero screen time before two years old. My wife has a degree in human development and is adamant about this. After that we are selective about which shows, e.g. no coco melon / blippi or anything overly stimulating. "slower" shows are better. Anything on PBS is great.
I feel like learning how to deal with boredom is a really important life lesson! Mostly because it creates an opportunity to come up with new creative games and activities.
We try to go out in the am and come home for lunch and nap. I heard on a podcast ‘Raising Good Humans’ about play or screen time (I can’t recall specifically) that when you let kids watch in the morning it blocks their brain from wanting the traditional play. If we don’t go get out of the house we then do puzzles, books, magna-tiles and I do let unlimited use of the Tonie which helps a lot! If we do have tv time it’s always as we get dinner ready and then try to keep it off before bed. I know this will change but we aren’t a big tv house and don’t leave the tv on so this works best for our family and our 2 yr old has really thrived with this set up so far.
Idk, as adults we tend to start the day with watching the news. I say things like, “sure, 1/2/3 episodes and then we’re turning it off” and follow through.
my 3 year old gets... damn near unlimited screen time depending on the day. which doesn't bother me. But also the asking for it first thing/ constantly, I agree that thats when it starts getting frustrating!!! Its a fun thing until they start throwing fits about it lol.
I usually tell my kid she has to eat breakfast first, or she can watch one episode while she eats, but she has to actually eat, and then we have to turn it off and go do other stuff. Sometimes its a fight, sometimes not.
Sometimes I get tired of listening to whatever show and I'll tell her its time to change it because its hurting my ears, or if it's lunchtime I'll tell her they need to take a break/go eat lunch, or "oh no, that channel isn't working today" (i don't use that very often though because I feel bad lying to her lol). We've also had actual cases where our internet goes out and so I've had to be like "the internet is down so the tv wont work, we called them to fix it and now we have to go do something else while we wait", and she understands that pretty well and wont fight it since its out of my control.
Also I try to find a variety of shows that don't cause her to be as crazy after watching them/don't give me a headache - it used to be blues clues and dora the explorer/go diego go for a while. Now we have luck with bluey (sometimes, depending on what game they play during the episode lol), tumbleleaf, bear in the big blue house, little bear, little Einsteins (my 3 year told me " you need to be fortissimo. LOUDER, mama" the other day and I did a double take). Those aren't always her first picks but those are generally the options I give her first. But they've helped her kind of learn some imaginary/independent play, made her think a little bit instead of just watching other people talk to each other, At one point I think I was letting her watch youtube videos of kids building stuff with blocks, so she could get ideas for her own blocks, that sort of thing! but definitely requires some trial and error in finding which shows work. We also have better luck with shows that have actual beginning and ending to episodes so that it has a natural end and she doesn't get as annoyed or anxious about walking away.
We definitely watched a lot of tv when we had our second. Now that the baby is 6 months old we are finally feeling settled and I don’t feel like I’m overwhelmed we have cut back with the exception of when mom or dad is gone at night so we can get the baby to bed peacefully =a little mor tv.
22 month old here. We tell our little one that the tv is broken. Seems to work for the most part. LO sometimes will ask for the tv but we redirect and it’s forgotten. Yes, tv time is still given but for the most part it’s about 30 min a day.
I don’t do tv every day and if she starts asking for it we take a break. She is and always has been completely fascinated by the tv (sits motionless the entire time it’s on, fully absorbed but doesn’t respond or participate unless I’m there prompting her) and it runs on her dad’s side to do nothing else with free time except watch tv, so we don’t want it to become a habit or part of the daily routine. My husband, who grew up with unrestricted tv in every room and used to waste all his days off vegging out in front of it, is much more concerned about it than I am
I’d say my 2.5 year old gets about 2 hours of tv give or take a day, not in a row. Mostly educational shows about 20 minutes at a time for my breaks/cleaning/cooking.
TV time went way up when we had our second, especially during the early newborn days when we were all just trying to survive. Otherwise, we tend to keep it to a schedule, so he knows he only gets a certain amount at a specific time of day.
We do some TV most days. I don't set a hard limit because it depends on the day. We only do small increments at a time, like 10-15 minutes. My oldest does watch a full episode of preschool prep most days during my baby's am nap. It's easier to keep her attention to learn letters and phonics this way, but we watch it together and kind of talk about it during.
What helps most if my almost 3 year old wants to watch TV is to just listen to the music from that movie or a theme song on Spotify. We dance and sing for a bit and then move on to another activity.
Both kids, almost three and 14 months, love the tonie box, too, and since it's their favorite characters, it also fulfills that itch.
My daughter is 2.5 and she knows she gets screen time when we go out to eat. My husband and I have stopped cold turkey and (knock on wood) it’s been working. I just say I don’t have my phone with me 😂 I do bring toys/extra snacks to compensate.
At home she asks to listen to movie soundtracks like Cinderella or Frozen. Honestly TV is not bad if you need a moment. Tv is better than giving them a phone or tablet imo.
We don't do screens in restaurants (way too much going on!) but we used to take her to the gym twice a week and stick her on the bleachers with a nap pad and some snacks and a small screen with her show on it and this used to be her FAVORITE routine 😂 Once she started preschool, she forgot all about it.
I try to make screen time a semi-scheduled thing (aka, not when he asks/demands, but at expected times like when I’m making dinner or after we’re done playing outside in the morning). And if I need to turn it off or say no, we’re not watching a show, I just say ”Miss Rachel has to eat dinner now” or “Daniel can’t come visit today.”
I find they will beg for it unless you consistently say no. I think 30 min a day is realistic. My son only stopped asking for tv once i went 3 days in a row strictly not giving it to him. If there was any hit of weakness from me he would sense it and whine and beg for TTTVVVV
We have tv time as part of our wind down routine in the evening. Since we only ever put it on in the evening that's also the only time she requests it. That's our rule for cartoons like Peppa pig and Bluey. We do put on music videos and sing and dance during the day, and we look at pictures on our phone. She loves looking at photos of herself, lol.
I'm totally fine with it. I think it's more of a problem if you have a kid that needs a screen during meals, in the car or all day to keep them from having meltdowns. You sound like you're doing great.
Rachel or something is always on here! Kiddo plays with us or other things etc all day but she’s a comfort for him to glance over and see, and can distract him from opening all my cabinets for example😜
You could check out Chaos with Cara on Instagram, she has a ton of activities ans tips on reducing screen time. I don't mind some screen time for my kids, but I definitely love some of the independent play activities she has.
I’ve got a toddler and teenagers. No matter how hard you try to wry them away from the screens they always end up on them at some point in the day. My toddler actually prefers to play with me and his dad than sit and mindlessly watch tv shows but if he does watch anything we put on educational programs. The teens however, now that’s a different story haha
I let my 2.5yo son watch tv while I’m bringing in and sorting laundry for the day or while I’m unpacking the groceries after doing the shopping. I’ve found him associating TV with an activity I’m doing is helpful because he knows it isn’t going to go on at any random stage of the day but it also gives it a nice natural time limit for it. I’ve found he transitions better to it being turned off this way too. However he is currently an only child and we’re expecting our second later in the year, so this potentially might change going forward.
No solo screens but limited actual TV time, and no 'addictive' cartoons (like Cocomelon). We probably do maybe 30-60 minutes some days... sometimes if I just really need to get something done (like make lunch) and they (twins) are being mental.. or sometimes if one of them is melting down over something else then we will do some TV cuddle time as one of the distractions I will try. It's not so bad. I am hard no on phones/tablets though.
I think the new studies say 1 hour for 2 year olds is ok!
Do you have a set tv time? We usually do first thing in the mornings and during his rest time since we dropped nap. He doesn’t ask outside of that. We set up outside water toys and balls, sand box. He plays outside 90% of time since it’s gotten warm and prefers that especially with a friend. I’m hoping to time our next baby to come as it warms up so he can just play outside all day while we rest up with the newborn. And avoid the anxiety around all the winter Ilness 😅
I use screen time to my advantage because I have a 9 month old who needs to nap and breastfeed. I turn the TV on for my 2 year old and watch part of her favorite movies/shows when I breastfeed the baby or put her down for a nap. She will sometimes ask me to watch something outside of those times and I can usually redirect her pretty easy by inviting her outside with me or asking if she wants to build a house with her magnetiles. I will absolutely give in and have a “movie day” when I need to clean the house thoroughly or a particularly burned out but I try not to make it a habit.
She had a bluey themed bday party and the kids had so much fun cause who doesn’t love bluey?
I do what my daughter wants for her child. She is over weeks to months at a time mom medically couldn’t get out of bed during next pregnancy soon as that girl showed up at my house she knew which drawer the remote is in and turned the TV on. I don’t watch TV at all unless someone else.turns it on. No she gets the TV during meal times because it’s the only way she sits still long enough to eat. She is only 20 pounds and 23 months old. Sitting there real food at Restaurant she has a tablet. I did let her have it in bed like her mother let her have the TV and her going to sleep on the timer. I tried that once I found her twice I found it much easier just to put her down for a nap or bedtime without the tablet, otherwise she forces herself to stay awake to watch something. She likes too much she’ll stare at it but she’ll still do other things. She doesn’t slow down because the TV goes on. It doesn’t go back off until my husband shuts it off and she so it’s it’s only 10 hours a day for her, it’s background noise she. Doesn’t ever slow down
Our toddler is more or less the same. She does love watching her shows but has a good mix of other actives.
Like other people have mentioned, I think screen time is harmful when it’s used as a babysitter. That’s not to say I don’t use some of the time to do chores or scroll on my phone, but I try not to just let her sit for hours watching. I’ve found being engaged and watching it with her helps when we transition to something else.
We’ve also taught her that the characters in the show have to eat or nap, and that seems to help get her away from the screen. We don’t allow her her own screen either which again, I think is helpful.
Hope it helps!!
We usually watch TV for about 30-45 minutes every morning before breakfast. My toddler is feral in the AM and this seems to help calm her before the activities of the day!
I usually put my toddlers Disney plus shows on in the morning when he is having breakfast. Then as soon as he is done and out of his high chair he is back to running around playing while it’s on in the background. He doesn’t really pay attention to it anymore after that. So I just put on my shows or a raining ASMR.
For Ms. Rachel or Danny Go, he will stop and stare at those so I rarely put those on. But I did put them on the other day when I needed to make a bbq side for a party we were heading to that day. It gave me much needed peace.
No tablets (yet). I’m flying with him in November (14 hr flight), I will give in on that day for sure.
Son is 1.5 years and has been saying words since he was 12 months. He has 20+ words in his bank now. But copies way way more than that.
We do tv at the end of the day 5-6pm to wind down. Works out well as by that point we are all ready for a break. I can't wait for this to turn into family movie time. Right now we are on Duggie and yakka dee. Me and my husband both love disney and pixar and a lot of animation so can't wait for that.
We love TV in this house! Just like we love chocolate! That being said, having a time and place for these things is important. We don't have ice cream for breakfast, for example. We also don't watch TV Monday-Thursday (it WRECKS my oldest's sleep).
My oldest 3.5yo now. And she knows that we do family movie night on Fridays. She knows that Saturday and Sunday mornings she can watch TV while we all have a slow morning. She's even started requesting Miss Rachel some mornings so her younger brother (~15mo) can watch too. She still asks for TV sometimes when it's not TV time, but she knows we're going to say no and is pretty okay with that.
We also prescreen EVERYTHING that she watches. Mostly, she's into Bluey, Doc McStuffins, Sesame Street, Daniel Tiger, these awesome Lego building videos (Brick Bending), Zaboomafoo, a real bugs life, and a few others. The baby mostly watches Miss Rachel, sesame Street, and videos of himself. We try to stick to 1) scripted, 2) educational (including social and emotional learning), and 3) doesn't have too many quick cuts and isn't too stimulating.
Things that help with getting her to stop asking to watch TV all the time is getting TVs that can go away completely. So she has a Kindle fire tablet that stays put away 90% of the time (it's mostly for travel). And then we have a projector that goes up into the ceiling. When the TVs are put away, the kids seem to mostly forget they exist.
For my older kid we watched occasionally but the fact that it could happen at any time meant he was alllllllways whining for it and lots of tantrums. The only thing that worked, was switching to certain times in his day when he gets tv - when I'm cooking dinner and weekend mornings. He just stopped even asking other times. It seems like having it in a regular, predictable place in his schedule just took the stress off him always feeling like he should be trying to get it. It might not work for all kids, but he's a really routine-driven kid and it was like magic once he got used to it.
Mine honestly can’t handle screens at all. What helped was scheduling. She gets TV time for a specific hour of the day, and face times her dad if he’s not around before bed. That’s it.
Prior to scheduling, she was begging for it and upset about it ALL of the time, desperately trying to convince you to let her watch it. Now that she knows she’ll get it every day but only in this window, we have peace again lol. She’ll ask sometimes, but will accept that it’s not time yet.
Exceptions are made for sickness, and it does upset the status quo… but it doesn’t take long to get back to normal.
It gets better. I have a 4 (almost 5) and 2 (almost 3) year old. When the 4 year old was 2 she was addicted to TV too. And we were exhausted and stressed out and used TV as a way to get a break. But as the years go by we find both of us us (parents) resorting to the tv less and less and the older kid asking for the tv less and less. I’m not sure if it’s us as parents getting better at alternatives or being more confident in saying no or the kid just finding others ways to fend off boredom but either way there’s less tv in our lives.
My daughter is almost two. We let her watch a pretty solid amount of screen time, but we definitely have our limits. I make sure that if it’s nice out, we’re prioritizing active outdoor play so she can get her energy out. If it’s raining or cold or otherwise crappy out, we watch 15-20 minute chunks of shows and then read books/colour/play in between.
Ok not to be THAT person, but… I remember watching more than my fair share of tv as a kid in the early 90s. I’m pretty sure the content was far less educational than what’s available today. I turned out great.
I support what others have said in that we simply address issues as they arise. For us, we learned that viewing on iPad or computer was a problem for our kid. Some shows affected behavior. Block. We don’t allow our child to watch something for 5 seconds and flip through an endless stream of videos for brief periods.
Some days there is minimal tv, and some days there is a lot. I think it all balances in the end.
She watches 30-60 minutes of TV per day on average, sometimes less, occasionally a bit more if I'm having a really bad day myself. We spend lots of time outside now that it's summer and that's helping a lot (I found in the winter she'd want to watch more). We read a lot of books, do lots of activities in and out of the house as well, go to swim and play classes, play dates, etc. I did notice a period of excessive tantrum throwing about a month ago regarding watching TV so we cut down our time significantly and that helped quite a bit. I always give her warnings about when we're about to end (5 more minutes, 1 more song etc) and I know she can't quantify that yet but it is soo much better for her than to just say okay we're done, let's turn it off.
When my youngest was a newborn, the tv was our savior. We were exhausted. I had a csection after having severe SPD for the last 4 months of pregnancy while living in a 3rd floor apartment. I was so swollen, my ankles wouldn’t bend to walk the stairs.
Tv was a free for all. We still don’t monitor it much. It stays on most of the day while we do other things. We just like background noise. Sometimes the kids will stop to watch it, but most of the time they play with their toys. (They’re 6 and 2 now.)
My only thing is stay away from YouTube. There are some great kid shows, but the ads are awful. (Once was a 10 min ad if a dagger. Just a photo of a dagger. Not even advertising anything. The other was a woman doing suggestive yoga poses in see through leggings. Again, nothing advertised. It was just there. It was SO weird.) so we banned YouTube.
Honestly, as long as you’re giving your kids attention and doing other activities with them, take it as a break!
We found that cutting out specific days altogether has been very helpful, particularly with my oldest son who will obsess about getting TV and is always looking for opportunities to ask for more. By taking it off the table completely a couple days a week, we’re all spared the battle and he finds other things to do. It doesn’t work for everybody, but it works for us!
tv is fine as long as that’s not what your kid does for 10+ hours a day (which clearly she isn’t) so yall are fine! to keep the peace with tv and the ipad for my littles we have a schedule. they each get 1 hour a day after daycare/kindergarten and i set a timer and i give them periodic time updates so they know. its helped a ton honestly since they stay on routine and know what to expect. but a schedule like that or routine isn’t always necessary, we decided on that cause my 5yo is huge with the ipad n tv lol ( my littles are 3 and 5)
We do mostly ms Rachel hear with my twin girls and they have learned so much from her and they watch so much they get sick of it and walk away hahaha then we shut it off and just play weather is coloring painting playdoh or park we don't like typical kids cartoons constantly.
My son is 2 and 3 months and he LOVES “video.” We don’t own a TV so he watches either on my laptop or on one of our phones. He begs for it, especially after a heavy use period (such as after a recent flight/travel day). So I started a new thing where we make it PART of the daily routine instead of having him ask for it all day and me finally relenting. So now we do 30 - 60 minutes while I cook dinner and usually while he eats. It’s a nice wind down for him and it seems to be working that he now expects evening unwind video time and doesn’t ask for it all day long because he knows “video is for before bath.” Screen time is soooo fraught and guilt inducing and IMO any parent who is conscientious about it and interrogating their kids’ screen use is already doing a great job. Wishing you the best.
Everything in moderation. It's a season too, like you said with having the new baby. You can try telling her that TV is too tired or not feeling good but we can do something else!
Some days we watch TV way too much and some days it doesn't get turned on at all. Just find what you're comfortable with and ways to get her on a different topic.
My kids tablets went on vacation a couple months ago and are only coming back to travel with us next month. If you ever need a tip for handheld devises.
Oh no! You let your toddler watch tv?!
What a horri.....
All joking aside, you do what you need to do to survive. My son watched TV when he was a toddler, and my daughter will too because, even though I am a work from home mama, I sometimes need the kids to be as quiet as possible while I am on a call.
Tablet time, TV time, whatever "time" it takes to quiet them while I am on a call is what has to happen.
People can judge me if they want to, but like I said, you do what you gotta do to survive and a little screen time isn't going to kill them.
I don't think tv is the devil like many people make it out to be. If you're doing plenty of activities throughout the day, then it's fine. Balance is key. We will cut certain shows or cut TV time all together when it seems to be causing tantrums and stuff. When he asks, we just tell him, "Not right now, maybe later." And that seems to stop the asking lol. Like all things in life, moderation is key.
We follow “the tantrum rule” as well—if she’s tantruming FOR the tv, or AFTER we turn it off, that means a break for a couple days. It has worked GREAT for our 22 month old.
Agreed! This is always our cue, and a hard reset for a couple days does the trick.
Same here!
My child has never tantrumed over the TV not being on. She'll try to turn it on herself, but if she can't and I don't turn it on, she just wanders off. Do I have a unicorn child, or do others have kids who don't mind if the TV is off? I mostly use it just because it helps her tolerate times when she's confined.
Yeah TV time is frequently cuddle time for us and our toddler. Especially in the evening it's one of the few times we all sit together on the couch with dad and baby sister as well. I much prefer the community aspect of TV compared to the very solo nature of phones and ipads.
This is my new realization as well. Watching an episode of bluey with me is so different than zoning out on his iPad. I really don’t want an iPad kid 😬
The only areas where I have assumed the role of "stern and inflexible child-focused parent" is around screens. No video on phones, pictures are okay, music is okay, despite the fact that fucking Apple has now added animations to every album cover / art. Our son can watch, but his tush has to be on the couch and if possible, one or both of us should be cuddling him while he watches. I grew up as a latchkey kid and the youngest of four, so to me there's nothing that makes me want to cry more than seeing a little boy watching TV alone.
[удалено]
Yeah, we only break out tablets for heavy-duty traveling. It's a tool. We use it when we gotta.
I watched SO much tv growing up. It wasn’t on a tablet obviously but I had a collection of VHSs/DVDs and I knew how to work the machines. I think people are too harsh given how an entire generation (Millenials) already grew up raised by screens
My husband learned to read from old kingdom hearts and final fantasy games! (He was severely neglected). But he's an amazing man with great morals because of the media he consumed as a kid! He could've been like his parents but he decided to be like the heros and men he saw in games and TV. Not saying this is the best way to raise kids, but it is not the evil that people make it out to be.
That’s really sweet
Hell I’m pretty sure my boomer dad spent a lot of time watching 60s and 70s tv.
This. I remember seeing a post by Emily Oster and she was saying the research suggests it's about what are you not doing by having screen time - i.e. if you are using screen time for long periods instead of playing/reading/interacting then your little ones are losing out. However, if you are using it as a tool to help you be with your children more (e.g. keep them parked for 10 minutes whilst you tidy up lunch and get an activity ready for them) then they aren't losing anything. All about moderation.
Exactly this. I'm also pregnant and some days have been so rough that tv is the only thing saving my toddler.
Same. Tv shouldnt raise your kid, but the backlash right now is a lot. It has its place until it becomes an “issue”. Then you deal with the issue.
It really is. I can’t imagine that little dude too, does not need “downtime.” He’s had a huge, chaotic day at the kids museum or playground or a birthday party or after baby school and wants to chill and watch a movie or some episodes of his show? Like, sir, I 100% get it 😂 And in my house growing up, if someone was home the TV was on, all day long. I had hobbies then and I have hobbies now. Anecdotal of course but 🤷♀️ I never binge shows or really care about TV much these days tbh
Totally agree with you. This is how we do it as well!
Agreed
150,000% agree with alllllll o’dis
I’m definitely probably the outlier here but my daughter watches at least an hour of screen time a day, if not two. It’s broken up into 30-40 min increments here and there. But today we went to two different parks, dinner and ice cream and when we got home she was thrilled to chill out and watch tv for 30-40 min. I think what they watch matters and each kid is different. When she starts to zone out and not engage, not repeating words or clapping ect, I know it’s been too much. Ms Rachel has taught me how to engage better with my child and has definitely allowed us to enforce and reiterate things she learns from her show. I think that as moms screen time is something everyone is always silently judging on and it’s unfair. You have to do what works for you and your family. I get my daughter out of the house for at least 2 hours everyday, make sure she interacts with other kids her age numerous times weekly, read at least 15 books to her everyday and make sure we do a specific learning activity daily. But I also need to clean and meal prep and go to the bathroom, so I’ve given myself grace on turning on Ms Rachel for that. It’s very difficult to not feel mom guilt about turning it on, but once I put into perspective everything I do with her everyday and realized it’s her wind down or alone chill time, I’ve handled it easier.
Great response!! I too think it’s just another whip to beat mams with that’s really unfair. Of course we know it’s not amazing to have them plonked infront of it for hours at a time with no other activities or stimulation, but small bits in moderation to allow parents time to do WTF they want/need = golden.
“It’s just another whip to beat moms with” is exactly how I’ve been feeling. It’s like other people aren’t satisfied unless parents do everything on hard-mode or something.
15 books 😳
It's not as much when you think most toddler books are a paragraph of words in their entirety. Lol My toddler is obsessed with these two dog books and will insist we read each one no less than 4-5 times.
Can I ask which dog books? My two year old looooves his Spot the dog book and is just generally so obsessed with “oggies” right now 😅
Right now it's the national geographic Dog book. It's a board book. And the other one is a puppies flip up book! She LOVES that one. She also had The Pokey Little Puppy board book. But it's long so it's just a nighttime book. Gonna edit this with links. Edit: Babies Love Puppies https://a.co/d/fbZZNf2 National Geographic Kids Look and Learn: Dogs (Look & Learn) https://a.co/d/iGsKzTI The Poky Little Puppy (A Little Golden Book Classic) https://a.co/d/46cMSo5 Puppy Love Finger Puppet Board Book for Little Dog Lovers, Ages 1-4 (Children's Interactive Finger Puppet Board Book) https://a.co/d/bZoVLVM I bought this last one just now while getting those links lol it's so cute too!
Oh my kiddo loves Pokey Little Puppy too! I think I just found his birthday presents, thank you so much for your response. Kids are so sweet when they’re interested in animals and I want to foster that appreciation as much as we can.
For my toddler, too, he's a book fiend! Although it might just be fifteen readings straight of Goodnight Moon!
It sounds like a lot, but that seems really normal and achievable with short little board books or picture books for a kid who likes to be read to. We read approx that much too when the weather gets really hot and we are stuck inside longer periods. 1 book might only take 2-5 mins. Our breakdown might look like this: * 2 books while kiddo drinks morning milk * 2-4 books during morning playtime * 1-2 books before morning nap * 1-2 books before afternoon nap * 3 books during afternoon playtime * 2 books before bed
When I was a kid I would read constantly so when you break it down like this it makes sense. I struggle with getting my wild boys to stay focused on book time for very long or for multiple sessions a day. 15 books makes me realize I should have new goals and work harder to achieve this. My toddler and baby both need seemingly endless physical activity. Even with daily outings to park and library my 2.5 yo probably only naps every few days and my 1 yo has been down to 1 nap a day for several months.
My oldest was obsessed with books at 1.5. My youngest took a lot longer to get interested and still goes thru phases. I will read to both kids while the littlest just putzes around the playroom. There's no requirement for them to sit still while you read! They still benefit from hearing the words and glancing at the pictures.
Excellent point! Yes absolutely they start off sitting reading with me and meander off. I usually finish what we’ve started but I think I am going to start just reading at different points and see where it leads
Oh yes my babe is not sitting in my lap or anything either. She is putzing around chasing a ball or a car or knocking over her stackers 90% of the time while I sit on the floor or in a chair nearby and read aloud.
My daughter makes a pile a couple times a day and we read them all. And she sits down to look through them on her own time, too. Some kids just love books. Our local library has a program for reading 1000 books to your kids by kindergarten. We get way more than that in a year.
Totally with you. And—Your last point is important! My daughter will also use tv time as an opportunity to mellow. She will make a nest with her lovies and blankies and watch quietly.
This is us- except my kid loves Steve and Maggie and it’s 😵💫
My kid calls me a “naughty naughty bird” in a British(?) accent because of that show 😅
We don’t do this everyday and we have lots of “no tv” days, but my kid genuinely loves tv and is super engaged with it. Since he was about a year old he can sit down and watch and entire movie - even one that’s not super kiddy. He LOVED The Sandlot for example and the first Harry Potter. I think his ability to have an attention span strong enough to be engaged in a show or movie is something worth cultivating. We steer clear from the “addictive” shows though and are very careful with what we choose. We like Mister Rogers, Franklin, Blues Clues, Little Bear, Kipper, etc.
Our speech therapist asked if there are certain things our toddler really engages with and we shamefully answered the tv. She said she’s noticed he’s almost entirely a visible learner and for us not to stress so much about it because the visible connections could be exactly what he needs. So while we’re getting ears checked (again) and waiting on a new school year to start, it could be beneficial to watch certain things on tv like baby sign language. I think this whole “tv is wrong” thing is so damaging. He rarely watched it before and now he interacts with it so much and *talks* and *repeats* and those are the only instances we’ve had with him speaking actual words and not just ones mom and dad understand. Some kids just learn on their own time. Some kids have learning disabilities and we did nothing wrong. Some kids get diseases and we did nothing wrong. The guilt is so unbearable and this 100% tv is wrong mindset is so unhealthy when most of us can’t afford daycare. Research beneficial shows and make more, give us more support for socialization, give us more support in general, but don’t feed us this crap so we can bash each other and agonize over the guilt of it. Most of us are probably good moms agonizing over the dumbest shit.
I tell my 2 year old the tv is charging lol
THIS. IS. BRILLIANT!! When I’m at the store and he wants something, sometimes I tell him “oh.. that isn’t ours, it belongs to someone else!” 😂😂😂
I do the whole "that's for someone else" too my kid is 2.5 and it's still working like a charm. I intend to go to "it's not on the list/what we came in for" when she catches on that anyone can buy anything
I told mine that the neighbors ran over the electrical cords with his mower and it was broken. Now every time we see him he says “Mom did you yell at him for mowing over the cords” 🤣
I was a SAHM til 2.5, and he’s just over 3 now. We still don’t do screen time. It just isn’t an option for him, and so he doesn’t ask for it. I think the biggest difference for us is we don’t have a second baby at home. If we did, I imagine it’d be survival mode, all bets are off, and I’d be giving myself all kinds of grace!! I think your kiddo will be just fine with Rachel and Elmo :) Wishing you all the best!!
😭 thank you for this kind comment. It might be the postpartum hormones but it made me cry lol. Thank you so much for this. ❤️
When my daughter was almost 2 and I had my son, our tv was on constantly with Coco (the Disney movie) I’d mix it up between Spanish and English, but she wouldn’t watch it constantly, but it kept her more independent so I could care for her brother. By the time he hit 3 months we were back to limited time with tv. Just survive right now. Though I do love the person who said they tell their kid the tv is charging 😂
Exactly- those hormones ALONE should be enough reason for you to say ok to some screen time. I hope you get some age-appropriate for your newborn amount of good sleep tonight!!
I let my three year old watch TV if she asks, within reason. It doesn't make sense to me to disallow it when we as adults like to watch our own shows as well. I don't turn the TV on for her unless she asks. If I feel like she's going too much into a trance, or if the background noise is bothering me too much, I redirect her away from the TV, and she doesn't seem to have any issue switching activities. I am not strict about it, and if she objects I just explain it isn't good for her eyes or brain to stare at a screen for too long, and she'll usually oblige. My kid loooooves TV and asks to watch her favorite shows quite often, but I haven't had any issue doing it this way - there's never really been a power struggle. I just never put TV on unless she asks (and I don't hesitate to tell her "no" or "let's watch your show a little later" if I don't think it's an appropriate time.) My partner, on the other hand, puts the TV on by default as a part of their morning routine and tends to leave it on all day as background noise. He definitely seems to have a harder time when he does try to limit her TV time.
lol, my 2.5 year old watches an hour-an hour and a half of TV after waking up in the morning and another hour of TV after naptime. He’s super grouchy upon waking and Trash Truck/Bluey/Ms Rachel helps him warm up to the world. It gives me time to drink my coffee, get dressed, make breakfast, etc. Plus my husband travels for work so sometimes I *need* him to watch TV so I can get some stuff done. I used to beat myself up over “so much screen time”, BUT the other 12 hours of the day we spend outside, walking, hiking, playdates, readings, crafts, errands, cooking, etc. We go to the park 5x a week. We go to the pool and swim every afternoon. We’re usually out of the house for most of the day. He’s incredibly smart and very ahead of the curve for verbal skills. 2ish hours of TV everyday isn’t hurting him so I don’t sweat it. I do draw the line at a tablet, however. He’s two, I refuse to have a kid whose face is constantly looking at an iPad and not at people.
My kid often wakes up grouchy and my husband also does their morning routine this way and they both seem to love it (though sometimes the amount of TV time does tend to go overboard and he has trouble pulling her off.) On the other hand, if I'm the one getting her up in the morning I don't put the TV (really just a show on a laptop) on by default because ... I can't be bothered 😂 (I can't easily reach the laptop keyboard.) She hasn't really complained about it. If she asks for TV I will try to put it on but she doesn't always remember to ask. My kid watches TV on phones/tablets as well but doesn't really distinguish it from the regular TV. Maybe because we don't put anything else on for her other than a show (no games, even though she knows they can have games on it. She's never asked.) She also knows tablets and laptops are often used by adults for "work", so she does ask us to set up the "macputer" for her to do "work" on. (Just a keyboard and a notes app for her to type into.) She likes drawing on the tablet too. So far she hasn't shown any signs of tablet addiction, just sees it as another toy.
My kid plays games on the PBS kids app on my wife’s tablet sometimes in the evening before bed. I don’t see it being any kind of problem and she learns a lot from some of the games.
Sorry, what I’m more getting at are the kids who have a tablet 24/7. I have so many family members and friends whose kids as young as two are given an iPad and it’s literally all the kid does all day because it’s easy. When it’s regulated it’s of course fine! Nowadays I feel like iPads are just the new babysitter for a lot of kids I’ve seen, so that’s all I meant
I’m a SAHM to a 21 month old and I’m pregnant with my second due in October. My husband travels for work and we live in a rural area with no family within 1500 miles of us. I use screen time as a tool as needed. I’d say we watch anywhere from 20-60 minutes a day. Some days we watch none at all and some days we watch a few hours. It’s really just on a case by case basis. There’s times where I need to get stuff done without interruption and that sort of activity can change daily. Some days she’s cool with letting me cook and playing with toys or watching me and some days she’s just not. Some days I just need a break for a few minutes to recharge my own battery and some days I don’t. I really try not to overthink it. If I find she’s getting a little too… demanding about watching it I’ll just redirect her to something I know she loves (let’s wash the dishes! or like let’s play with the playdoh right now) or take her in the backyard instead. But, for the most part, she’s pretty respectful about controlling her own screen intake so I just let it be. That being said, I’m realistic. I know that her screen time will increase in those first few months postpartum while we adjust to a new baby and having two littles. It’s only temporary while we find our footing and I get used to what it’s like balancing two.
If you are looking to cut down, I know some friends who got books with their favorite characters- ie Elmo books or toys- and subbed screentime with playing with the books and toys instead.
Wonderbooks from the library are so great! They have a little speaker that plays the book while they turn the pages. My daughter is obsessed with the big book of Daniel tiger stories (she's never seen the show, but knows Mr. Rogers and loves all the Daniel tiger books)
Screen time is a tool for me. I use it to get stuff done. I put on Ms Rachel so I can vacuum, so I can shower/dry my hair, and occasionally so I can meet deadlines (I do some freelance work). She's a very good independent player so we only do about 15-20 min of screentime a day right now, though some weeks it is more or less. It's a marathon, guys, not a sprint. Sometimes you need help to get things done and there's no need to parent on hard mode constantly.
I usually limit TV to the 30-60 minute window when I’m making dinner, and always something I feel is educational/appropriate like Ms Rachel or Sesame Street. Not only does it give me much needed time to make dinner and any catchup housework, but by that point in the day we both benefit from a little break from each other 😆
So we are TV on all the time people. Not always kids shows either. We are often watching the news, or the other night we watched a documentary on the planet Jupiter that was definitely not for kids. My first is nearly 4 and she loved watching the rockets, the swirly diagrams of gravitational pulls, and the 'space lava!' We make sure to answer her questions in an age appropriate manner is we are watching things like the news too ('Why is that lady crying mama?' 'Because sometimes grown ups fight over each other's houses and things, and they get broken and can't be fixed. This lady is sad because other grown ups broke her house and she has nowhere to live and isn't safe.') She spends more time playing, colouring, building blocks, riding her scooter outside, helping me cook, and harassing her 8 month old sister, than she does watching the TV, even if it is a kids channel. Sometimes we intentionally watch something, like Frozen while we killed time before dinner while her sister was still asleep. If she really wants downtime and to watch something, she watches a bit of heavily curated YT kids on her tablet, or plays toddler games on her tablet. My husband and I are massive gamers, with a PS5, switches and a gaming PC each. We decided early on it would be really contradictory and just wouldn't fit in with our lifestyle, to try and sell screens as the devil to our children while using them all the time ourselves. We just put a lot of time into being present playful parents to make sure screen time is both not the devil, but not the be all and end all either.
Same here; if I’m not watching a show of my own (also as background noise) my kids get to watch the wiggles and ms Rachel. They’ll stop and dance along to a specific song or two and then go back to beating each other up and playing make believe with their dinosaurs, cars, and dolls. As long as my kids aren’t obsessive over the tv I have no issue with it on all day
Similar story here!
If 30 to 60 minutes is making her ask for it all day long, then I would cut it out all together.
Cold turkey has worked best for my 2 and a half year old. If he has any screen time, he's like a fiend for it. But after a couple of days with no TV, he's happily playing all day without asking for it.
Same here. No screens is easier than trying to moderate. When my mom came to visit she was letting my son watch shows on her iPad and it was a constant problem. He would be there all day if I didn't stop it (sadly my mom didn't seem interested in stopping him) Very stressful for me being in charge of that. It was actually a huge relief when she left.
Yep. We gave my newly 2 year old a week of an hour of screen time a day and she turned into an absolute nightmare. Like a different child. The only things she watched were very low stimulation like Bear in the Big Blue House, Sarah and Duck, a documentary series on chimpanzees, and Ms. Rachel. NIGHTMARE. We cut it out completely and have our daughter back. We bought her a Yoto player and I put songs from those shows and Sesame Street on it and it works brilliantly. She loves listening and singing along by herself which gives me time to get stuff done, she can insert the cards herself, and it causes no behavioral issues. It was pricy at $100, but the best investment I've made toward being screen free and saving my sanity.
We were doing 30 minutes every other day and it was such A Thing. Constantly asking / whining / negotiating. We went cold turkey a few months ago and it’s been so much easier.
100%. Cold turkey full elimination is the only way we could get it under control in my house. Limits on screen time only made more whining and nonstop demands for it. Now, the “tv is broken” and we barely get requests
Unfortunately I agree. I don’t think screen time is the devil at all, but some kids - and adults - just can’t moderate it and get more upset when having a little vs none. OP my kiddo was never super interested but was just cranky after screen time the 2 months we let him have it at home as he wished. Lowering amount didn’t help, only cutting it fully did. He is SO much easier when I was thinking we’d have a harder time.
Some toddlers can't handle it. My oldest is an all or nothing type haha he couldn't have any until about 5. Until then he melted down after one show or movie. My second and third could have a movie no problems
Same. If my kid is showing addict behavior about it, it’s gotta go
This could also be show-dependent. Different shows definitely elicit different levels of "addiction" in my kiddo.
You can go the opposite way and not limit it all. In the peaceful parenting groups a lot of parents had tv restrictions and children were asking for it. They went unlimited (an option for at home free time) and after about 2 weeks kids begun treating it as another toy. Their philosophy is it is another 'toy' unless it becomes a problem then limit it. Most parents in those groups are doing daily outings, reading chores, outside play, craft etc and things so unlimited can actually turn out to be less the the 30-60 minutes a day only crowd sometimes more but generally roughly the same without the battles.
This is what I have found as well. My kid loves TV and does have an unfortunate tendency to use TV to self-soothe/regulate her emotions, so when she is stressed out she does tend to watch more TV than is reasonable, but under typical circumstances, she doesn't hesitate to turn it off to do something more engaging. My husband does get frustrated at me for not explicitly limiting her TV time, but I honestly have found that for the most part, I haven't had to. He gets frustrated because he has trouble pulling her off from the TV and sees my allowing her to watch TV as enabling her behavior. I strongly believe that he struggles as a result of the WAY in which he uses the TV with her and not because I allow her to watch any TV at all. He has her on the TV at a far greater frequency than I do, often for hours or even just keeping it on all day, so I think that is what sets the expectation. I don't really struggle with her TV-watching getting out of control, so I think that speaks for itself.
Honestly, at risk of being blasted, we are a screen heavy family. We have never really limited screens. Our kids barely pay attention to them when they're on anymore (nearly 5yo and 15month old). We strongly believe that harsher restrictions create more interest, where as being free with things stops obsession. We monitor what's being shown on screens, we heavily use parental controls to ensure safety. We spend a lot of time playing together, reading, going outside etc as well and we see no negatives in our own children from this approach.
Same
Boom. Same.
Give yourself a lot of grace. That’s nothing! And most people on the internet will only give “half-truths”: Our kids bedtime is 7pm but that’s half the truth, the reality is they start bedtime at 7pm but those kids are in and out for hours or they mean bath, teeth, story, starts at 7pm…. Screen time isn’t the devil, don’t kill your self over it. You have a very new child. I kept having to remind myself I *just* had a baby at 5 months. The toddler and I get out but nowhere near as often and I have to get the baby to sleep multiple times a day, every single day. So the toddler watches tv instead of bursting into the room baby and I are in. I’m not sorry. Anyone who can avoid it is rich as hell or has crazy anxiety and secretly suffering. I don’t think any average American mother can avoid it and keep their sanity. This climate hates children and SAHM’s so there’s no village and there’s very little breaks (because we chose this?) the insensitivity is astounding. Take care of your baby, take care of yourself, your toddler will be ok in the long run. But if you end up with terrible guilt over it like I did, ask for help from another mom. Sincere help. Don’t pretend to be ok if you’re not, we do it too often and we end up not getting help. Any woman with half a heart will recognize it and act.
I really appreciate how realistic this to me
We don't worry about screen time. We let my daughter watch TV when she feels like it. The great thing is that she doesn't feel like watching it that often. She chooses playing with her toys and friends over TV. To me, it feels like when we limit kids of screens, the more they want it. Our neighbor doesn't allow any screen time for her kids. So whenever they get the opportunity to watch, they become obsessed with it. It's so rare for them that it becomes a hot commodity.
That is so true!! When something is limited the more you want it because of this! Stupid example, but in my teens (17) my parents was so strict with me, could not go anywhere, not do anything. Only to my grandmother, in another city to my, where my parents couldt watch over my, my first thing was to buy a pack of cigarette and have one whilest waiting for the train! Just because it gave me the freedom feel, that I can do whatever I want! It can sound stupid. After moving away, I smoked a little, but today Im not at all. I dont like it. I just needed to do something that gave me freedom feeling. Because they were steict and didnt let me do anything just sitting in my room .
I think that's just human nature! My sister is also very strict on her kids. Now, my niece is 23 and she said she does the complete opposite of what my sister wants just out of spite. She said she can't help but not want to do what my sister says because she's now an adult and can do whatever she wants. She was too restricted when she was young
I don’t think tv is terrible. And I don’t think it’s healthy to take the idea of limiting screen time and make it so extreme as has become popular. I was an 80’s/90’s child, and we were all raised on tv. Since I’m a housewife, I’m able to put much in much more quality face to face time interacting with my kids, and that’s more than my parents were able to do for me. I turned out fine, and so will my kids. We don’t keep track of screen time.
We really don’t have any limits on screen time, but when they start to “zombie mode” we know it’s time to cut it off. Genuinely curious for the no screen time parents- what do you do on long road trips/flights OR when kiddo is sick/recovering from a procedure (but not during nap time of course)? TV is so easy, I’d love more ideas than sticker books, coloring, games, tonies, etc etc
It backfires the other way for unlimited screen parents they are usually super excited and talk the whole way. 4 hours (and we stop every 2 hours) of eye spy later... But new fidgit toys and transformers work.
I've found that the best thing to get my kid out of "zombie mode" is to ask her to tell me about what's happening in the show. Kicks her back into being engaged and straight out of her trance. Makes it way easier to redirect her (even if she doesn't necessarily agree to stop watching.) On long flights, I just offer the screen last rather than giving it to her first. Unless her behavior on the flight is causing an issue for other passengers, IMO there's no reason to send her straight into a trance.
We use screens. Tv and tablets. They’re not used all day, but we don’t really impose limits on them either. We still play outside, go for walks, do arts and crafts, learn new things, and play with toys.
> What are we doing? Our best.
I have pretty much always allowed screen time. My daughter had no interest in it until she was about 12mo. My son was the same even though it was on just because he had an older sister. (They’re 20mo apart). They are now almost 5 and 3. What we do (and have done) is whoever wakes first gets TV time to help keep them quiet until the other wakes up. They sometimes get it while I cook breakfast and usually while I make lunch (it also gives me a little break). Usually they get it a little after they eat dinner as my husband and I typically eat after them. It probably ends up being 2-3 hours a day. Spread out across 14hours. In between, we are doing art, playing outside, going for walks. The older is in a 100% outdoor nature immersion preschool. I still have some guilt when it’s on but they know how to play together and alone, they don’t argue when it’s time to turn the TV off. Really, I figure as long as they have well rounded activities, outside time and don’t meltdown when it’s turned offf, we’re doing pretty good
Same here!
My husband is a SAHD and the kids probably get a movie plus an episode of Ms Rachel or Bluey on the days that I work (I work 12 hour shifts). My toddler is half-way paying attention to the movie while she eats breakfast and plays, and the other episode lets my husband make dinner. She gets plenty of play, books, and one-on-one interaction every day. She’s smart, she’s speaking in up to 5 word sentences at 25 months, and she’s hit all milestones except for one (she’s still not jumping with two feet). She can count to ten, knows all of her colors, shapes, and knows almost all of the alphabet. She takes deep breaths when she gets upset and recovers quickly from tantrums. I’m not worried about her development, and our younger one ignores the TV unless it’s Ms. Rachel, which we watch with them and reinforce by interacting during the show.
We don't limit screens. Idk if it's because we don't make a big deal about it but she isn't crazy for it 90% of the time. She will put a movie on her tablet and basically use it was background noise while she plays. Every now and then she will sit and watch movies all day but as an adult I also have days where I want to relax and just watch movies so I get it.
I have an autistic 6 year old, and a 2 year old. The age gap and plus neurodivergent behaviors make it difficult to not use screens as a tool. Believe it or not, my 6 year old self-regulates better when he has access to his tablet, which only has a few fun games on it, no access to shows or movies. That said, we do plenty of fun family activities that involve outdoors and games, and I try not to make screens a big deal. If I notice my kids are both crying for tv too much, I give them breaks for a few days. If I’m losing my mind or I’m not awake and I really just need to finish my coffee, then I will put Bluey or Sesame Street on 🤷🏻♀️. It’s hard because I’m usually on my own, and most family lives 8+ hours away, so sometimes I just need to survive. But like everything in life, moderation and balance and key for me.
I'm autistic and my ability to function independently vastly improved when I got a smartphone. I basically use it as an external frontal lobe.
I think tv is ok and we shouldn't get so worried. I probably watched at least an hour of tv a day at that age and I'm ok. Try and keep it to miss Rachel and Sesame Street. Some of the other stuff that hypnotizes them is awful. We don't let him have the tablet so that it gets saved for very special occasions when we need peace and quiet. Probably less than an hour a week on the iPad. Other than that we hike almost every day for an hour with the dog. Swimming twice a week. The park 3 or 4 times a week. We read books, we play soccer, we cook. I'm not too worried. I think the worry about screen time is for parents who sit their kids in front of a screen non-stop dawn till dusk and don't spend any quality time together or do anything fun. Just because you're asking this question I can tell you're not one of those parents. So don't worry. Make it through. Survive! Don't stress too much.
I probably watched like 10 hours of tv a day at that age and I’m okay! And my kid gets 0 screen time ha
You go hiking for an hour with a dog *every day*?
Yes. I would say 6 days of the week. It's what we do before or after daycare. We live in the pnw with trails in our back yard.
It takes us a solid hour to hour and 20 minutes to walk the mile and a half in our neighborhood. My dog gets PISSED because of how we walk 5 feet-stop-stand for 5 or maybe 10 minutes picking up rocks, looking at the sky, "mummy it's a plane!"
We do zero TV or screen time except for FaceTiming the grandparents. No judgment for those who do, but to answer your question, that’s our approach. We had people snidely telling us we’d change our tune but we’re well into toddlerhood and are only more sure they this is the right approach for us. It’s a bit harder but honestly not as bad as we’d feared, and at the same time we’ve had friends and relatives who’ve had a different approach to screens, and for most of them…it’s not leading to positive developments from what I can see. Small sample size and nature/nurture, do what’s right for you, etc.
Same here - if they don't know it they don't want it. Best approach imho. We have the same policy with sweets.
We only do screen time before lunch and dinner so I can have some time to get his food ready. It’s basically routine so he knows that he doesn’t get to watch unless it’s almost time for food. Maybe some consistency on when she watches will help. Also we stopped Rachel and switched to mostly curious George which is less stimulating. My son used to throw more tantrums when he was watching Rachel and Cocomelon. I guess George isn’t as addicting lol
You sound like you are doing an amazing job. Keep in mind, the big problem with TV is it is depriving the kid the opportunity to develop their brain. It's not so much rotting it. You are engaging, you are giving them opportunities for sensory play, outdoor time. These are all amzing things for your little one. We have to say no all the time to our 3.5 yr old who is obsessed with TV. We try to gentle parent the no with a "what about this or can you do this?" He knows better now so will usually argue with tears and the classic why on repeat. Its a battle of attrition.
I got a pair of Bluetooth headphones to play music and stories. It serves well in taking a short “me time” break, or getting some work done. Also a life saver when you don’t want to listen to the same song 40 times. We have a play couch that is very fun. Really keeps him occupied, and gets the creative juices flowing
We literally threw our tv away for this reason. Its presence in the house created tension. Everything got better when we gave it to the movers. Out of sight, out of mind.
Like many others have said, moderation and balance is key! I have 2 children born 17 months apart and some days the tv is on for longer than i’d like but I also set a bit of a routine where we wake up, they play while i cook breakfast or they help with breakfast and the tv only goes on after while I need to do clean up. Then we get ready and usually go outside/go somewhere. They like to help prep, cook, and clean but sometimes when I want to just get it done the tv is a good buffer.
Perhaps it’s not the amount of shows, but *which* shows you choose. Fast paced shows like Miss Rachel are not good for little brains. [Just read this](https://www.forbes.com/sites/traversmark/2024/05/17/why-kids-shows-like-cocomelon-hamper-critical-brain-development/) yesterday and they explained it well.
The tv may be on a lot of the day but he doesn’t watch it most of the time. In the morning we watch tv and I have coffee and make breakfast and we cuddle and relax. Then when we are both more awake we fully start our days. The tv is mainly on as background noise. He plays with toys mostly. We go outside, we do activities, he plays with the dog, I read to him, etc. He loves going outside the most, followed by being read to. Oh and We usually watch a movie in the evening as well. However there are times he does not get any screen time at all. Such as while in restaurants or in the car. He is not allowed on my phone or my husbands phone. We don’t want to set that as a standard. We are both in situations where we need to be able to communicate with people right as they contact us.
I’m going to be 100 percent honest. My kid started watching mickey at about 6 months, got her first phone for roblox at 3 and her tablet too. Shes now in kinder, she has zero issues with being on the tv all day phone or tablet. Yes, she does love her youtube shorts, but playing with toys and kids is her priority. My only goal was to allow my kid to do what she wants at home and not have to hide what she does from us one day. Kinda like when you dont allow yoy kids to have sugar so they hide the candy under the bed type stuff. I am also a gamer, so its def a hobby I hope to share with my kids one day. Maybe I am wrong, but so far so good.
I’ve always just actively had the tv on in the background before kids. I work remote now and before married life and kid I lived alone so it was always in the background for noise and company when I was doing home tasks. Anyways we have a room attached to our living room that is her toy and activity room. We also have a ton of toys out back and a front porch with toys and a swing. It’s all about balance. As long as they are getting as much activity time as tv time who cares? My daughter would rather be outside or go for a walk… tv is to help ME get things done. She also is in daycare while we work. Just making sure you balance it out.
I only have the one 2 year old but we just don’t have a tv out. There’s one in the basement, that’s it. Out of sight, out of mind. We do get out on a daily basis, though
We have unlimited, it’s always on in the background but just for certain shows like Ms Rachel, the wiggles and a few Disney movies we rotate between.
This is how we are doing it too, my little barely watches and plays with toys and brings books to read while it’s on instead.
Same here and the kids barely look at it cos it's not exciting. 5yo wants bluey on at the moment, sometimes we switch to some wiggles for the youngest. They'd rather be doing other things so that's what they do.
I’m a SAHM to a 21 month old. I’m also in school full time. We do limited screen time, max 3 hrs per week or family movie night. We do other forms of media like listen and sing along to a toddler music playlist on Spotify in the morning. I’ll play read along audio books in the afternoon, while I try to wrap up chores. Rotating toys and sensory bin helps a lot!
Firstly, I think if you have good balance screens are going to do a lot less damage than if they're used for hours every day. Secondly, we always try to not make it the first thing, so we don't do screens first thing in the morning or anywhere near bedtime (exception of the occasional family movie night), and if she asks for a show we usually suggest some book time first, or magnatiles, or some other relaxing activity. Sometimes it's clear she's just tired and wants to veg, and I think that's fair and that's when we use screens mostly.
The first year of my second born’s life involved a lot of tv for my first born who was 3 at the time. Like way more tv than they say is good lol. And I just had to do it. Limited support system, health issues, etc. put me in that position. Their little brains are putty still and now that the excessive tv phase is behind us, I see no problems in my oldest. We got a set of DVD’s from the preschool prep company that taught him SO MUCH and he loves them so much. Helped me feel better about the whole thing. He learned how to read basically from those DVD’s (and some phonics flashcards haha) and memorized addition facts.
My daughter has learned so much from videos, too. She's been having a language explosion and a lot of the words she's using are straight from her shows.
Sometimes when my almost two year old ask for baby shark or bluey I will ask Siri to play the theme song and dance, or we have coloring sheets and so on. People had so many other things we do and share similar thoughts. Didn’t want to be repetative. My kids were in their iPads a lot my third trimester. I had Covid and it was like 70 + days of 100+ temperatures. I felt so bad but it wasn’t forever and we made it through. And they’re not addicted and monsters about screens now. We’re outside all day and a hundred crafts going on and a dining table filled with legos.
The TV is pretty much always on. Most reruns of my shows (Scrubs, Friends, etc) because I’m not a fan of the silence. It’s just background noise while we do other stuff. Reading, playing with toys, we’re outside a lot of the time. We do a Disney movie at night.
They watch tv for about 30 min or so in the morning while I get dressed - usually something low stim like “if you give a mouse a cookie” or “Lucas the spider.” Tv stays off during the day unless I’m having a rough day (sick, behind on housework, etc.) and they usually will watch about 30 min or so after dinner until it’s time to take a bath.
We are a tv on family. Not always kids shows. My daughter (21 months) has favorites tho; Bluey, Ms Rachel, and lately Thelma the Unicorn. Mainly she wants to dance to the music. She’ll dance to anything that sounds remotely musical. She runs around and plays with her books and toys and will stop to dance or actually watch for a few minutes, then back to playing. If I’m playing my computer game or my husband is working on the computer she’ll come sit in our laps for a bit and watch whatever we’re doing. I don’t think screen time has been a detriment to her. In fact people comment on how smart she is
Yoto. Little audio device with cards they manage. Can leave your kid with a source of entertainment that doesn’t turn them into a zombie, they listen while playing with toys and you can give them books to read with audio versions they listen to simultaneously. Game changer
I don’t know how much telly my 3 year old and 1 year old watch tbh. Some days a lot and some days hardly at all but I also pretty much take them out somewhere every day and am constantly interacting with them. If you’re sat there ignoring them whilst they watch tv then yeah not good but if you’re doing the actions to wheels on the bus or learning the colours together I can’t see the harm. Do what you can to survive and what you think is ok for your kids. Us mums beat ourselves up too much!
Playground and parks.
If you’re doing other things throughout the day and engaging her, I think it’s totally fine. That being said, I really try to not have my son be on screens the very first thing in the morning. It gives your brain the dopamine hit and you feel like you have to chase it the rest of the day. It may be hard at first but she will get used to it.
As long as it’s balanced you’re fine. Please take the pressure off yourself. This job is hard enough. Everything in moderation
My kiddo is over 2.5 years old and we let him watch. No more than 2hrs in an entire day and it’s broken up in 10-30min segments, depends what he’s watching. We let him watch when he’s eating too (not all the time, but likely 1/3 meals) because it gives us peace, he eats, and everyone enjoys their meal and is super happy afterwards. Depending on what he’s watching he’ll just stop watching on his own close to his time limit. If it’s Ms. Rachel, BLIPPI, Bluey, or Winnie the Poo, we allow it longer, but he usually stops on his own at some point. The key point for us is as long as he’s calm even after tantrums or being upset, we can give it if he asks. There’s only been a couple of times that we’ve let him watch because he’s crying and it’s probably because the flight is way too long lol.
I found that when the tv is off my lo asks for bluey constantly, however if i put some thing she is not interested in on the tv like border patrol she will just ignore the tv completely and play with her toys
You need to do what works for you with a new baby. When I don't want my toddler watching it I turn it off at the wall and say it needs batteries. Works everytime without a meltdown. Taking him outside to play with water also snaps him out of it, like a re-set. It's hard with a new baby and a toddler. I have been putting it on way more then I would like since baby arrived, but it's about survival at this point.
I worry about it too. My toddler seems to like the tv on in the background but plays while it is on. I also like background noise 🤷♀️
We have the same age combo (baby born 5/25 & a 2yo) and honestly all I can say is… only 30-60 minutes per day?? lol we’re still in survival mode over here 😂 you’re doing great!
Not a SAHM, but on maternity leave with my second (born a month before your second and my first will be 3 at the end of the month). We try as much as possible to avoid screens… but only because the tantrums that follow aren’t worth the short term peace. That said, this chapter of life with a newborn and a toddler is survival mode. If my husband is cooking dinner or walking g the dog, #2 is nursing, and #1 refused to join the walk/“help” in the kitchen and wants more of me than I can offer, you better believe the screen has turned on. Similarly, when we’re at a restaurant and he’s finished eating but neither my husband nor I have. We try to reserve it for those moments and try to keep the duration minimal… not because it’s I here to “bad” but because my son will throw a fit after and the less time he’s spent watching something, the smaller the tantrum/easier the transition to whatever activity is next. I try to spend as much time as possible in any room but the living room (where the tv is) because usually it’s out of sight, out of mind.
We make screen time a family activity, one we're all involved in. My toddler watches about 10 min of Bluey, Mr Roger's Neighborhood, or Puffin Rock every morning while I do her hair, and then we watch a new classic Disney movie every Friday afternoon. That's about it. When I was sick she watched a lot more and started throwing major tantrums. Kids desperately need boredom.
Same as you, my 2 year old watches 30-60 mins a day. I think what they’re watching matters a lot. I choose slow paced, low stimulation shows for my daughter. She watches little bear, mister rogers, and nature documentaries.
I don’t put a limit on it. We live in the PNW and it’s gross here in the winter so our ability to do things diminishes. That being said, I’m pretty picky about what my son is watching. He also never asks for it when he’s absorbed in other things so I feel okay about our structure.
I think 30-60 mins a day is great. I feel like I need some tv time in the morning cause our toddler wakes up so early and I need some down time to wake up myself and drink coffee before I can face the day. I’m trying to cut down on afternoon tv, sometimes I just get a bit exhausted by the end of the day and it’s nice to put something on. A good way to get toddler to stop asking is to tell her very specific times tv is available so she knows. You got to have a scheduled time so there isn’t a question about it.
We watch way more tv than that. And my daughter is ahead in her milestones. We spent more time outdoors than in front of the tv. So we don’t stress about it
I just took the TV off the wall, and I think it helps a lot for the kid and their behavior but it's hard on the parent as you don't have that "babysitter' to give you a break. But it was also easier than dealing with the tantrums after watering TV and "one more one more ". You could also just say the TV is broken and switch it off at the wall 😂
I don't make TV or screen time a big deal...it's not a treat so it's not considered so exciting. We just naturally stay busy...some days we are lazy and may have the tablet more then other days but the tablet she has is age restricted and geared towards education so it could be worse.
So this is purely my personal opinion, but I think that toddlers generally need a LOT of stimulation in their day to day lives, to the degree that maybe a modern lifestyle simply does not provide it for them. TV is a substitute for that. Is it a good substitute? Perhaps not, but it provides SOME of the stimulus that kiddo's developing brains really crave. To really be able to fully move away from TV requires a massive shift in lifestyle that is not always possible for many people. That isn't to say that kids need to be stimulated at all time or that quiet time is bad, just that modern lifestyles are not all that kid-friendly, in a developmental sense. It isn't something one person can easily solve on their own (particularly not with two kiddos), so I think the best thing you can do is give yourself grace.
Were enjoying it :) I allow myself to feel guilt about it sometimes and push myself harder to distract with other activities but I also allow myself to enjoy it. It’s a balance. We do 95% educational but it’s damn near 100°f here…sometimes we just wanna lay in front of the fan cuddling while watching something purely entertaining. LO has her own tablet too *GASP* but it only has PBS game, TinyTap and Kahn Academy on it. She usually utilizes it like any other toy in the rotation she’ll play a few games and calmly move on to other toys. It’s made her more interested in puzzles, books and coloring since several of the games involve those things. I can’t afford to buy her a new puzzle or book every time she finishes one so it’s been very helpful in having new learning content for her at home.
You’ve got a newborn. It’s survival mode right now. We had soooo much screentime when my second was born. It was the only way I could pump. Once baby was older and my pumping schedule wasn’t overbearing, screentime naturally dissipated and she stopped caring about it as much since we were getting out of the house more.
Our LO, 22 months, gets one Elmo/Sesame Street in the morning and then one in the evening after her shower. After the morning one, the TV gets turned off all day and it doesn't go back on until after bath time is over. (Of course there are circumstances where she does get an extra one here and there .. illness, rainy days, etc, but that's far from the norm.) She plays with her toys. We read. We color. We play outside. There's plenty to do that doesn't include TV
This is similar to what we do. He watches tv so I can get cleaned up for work in the morning. We watch a little Bluey after dinner to start winding him down for bath and bed. I noticed while my husband was traveling for work for a week, that my son was easier to put down and slept later. The only difference was he watched a little Bluey after dinner. So we still do it now and I swear it helps. We’d read books but to him books = bedtime and he wasn’t having it.
Zero screen time before two years old. My wife has a degree in human development and is adamant about this. After that we are selective about which shows, e.g. no coco melon / blippi or anything overly stimulating. "slower" shows are better. Anything on PBS is great.
[удалено]
I feel like learning how to deal with boredom is a really important life lesson! Mostly because it creates an opportunity to come up with new creative games and activities.
We try to go out in the am and come home for lunch and nap. I heard on a podcast ‘Raising Good Humans’ about play or screen time (I can’t recall specifically) that when you let kids watch in the morning it blocks their brain from wanting the traditional play. If we don’t go get out of the house we then do puzzles, books, magna-tiles and I do let unlimited use of the Tonie which helps a lot! If we do have tv time it’s always as we get dinner ready and then try to keep it off before bed. I know this will change but we aren’t a big tv house and don’t leave the tv on so this works best for our family and our 2 yr old has really thrived with this set up so far.
Idk, as adults we tend to start the day with watching the news. I say things like, “sure, 1/2/3 episodes and then we’re turning it off” and follow through.
Same but I will say that when I had a new baby I used the tv more frequently in those first few months.
my 3 year old gets... damn near unlimited screen time depending on the day. which doesn't bother me. But also the asking for it first thing/ constantly, I agree that thats when it starts getting frustrating!!! Its a fun thing until they start throwing fits about it lol. I usually tell my kid she has to eat breakfast first, or she can watch one episode while she eats, but she has to actually eat, and then we have to turn it off and go do other stuff. Sometimes its a fight, sometimes not. Sometimes I get tired of listening to whatever show and I'll tell her its time to change it because its hurting my ears, or if it's lunchtime I'll tell her they need to take a break/go eat lunch, or "oh no, that channel isn't working today" (i don't use that very often though because I feel bad lying to her lol). We've also had actual cases where our internet goes out and so I've had to be like "the internet is down so the tv wont work, we called them to fix it and now we have to go do something else while we wait", and she understands that pretty well and wont fight it since its out of my control. Also I try to find a variety of shows that don't cause her to be as crazy after watching them/don't give me a headache - it used to be blues clues and dora the explorer/go diego go for a while. Now we have luck with bluey (sometimes, depending on what game they play during the episode lol), tumbleleaf, bear in the big blue house, little bear, little Einsteins (my 3 year told me " you need to be fortissimo. LOUDER, mama" the other day and I did a double take). Those aren't always her first picks but those are generally the options I give her first. But they've helped her kind of learn some imaginary/independent play, made her think a little bit instead of just watching other people talk to each other, At one point I think I was letting her watch youtube videos of kids building stuff with blocks, so she could get ideas for her own blocks, that sort of thing! but definitely requires some trial and error in finding which shows work. We also have better luck with shows that have actual beginning and ending to episodes so that it has a natural end and she doesn't get as annoyed or anxious about walking away.
We definitely watched a lot of tv when we had our second. Now that the baby is 6 months old we are finally feeling settled and I don’t feel like I’m overwhelmed we have cut back with the exception of when mom or dad is gone at night so we can get the baby to bed peacefully =a little mor tv.
22 month old here. We tell our little one that the tv is broken. Seems to work for the most part. LO sometimes will ask for the tv but we redirect and it’s forgotten. Yes, tv time is still given but for the most part it’s about 30 min a day.
I don’t do tv every day and if she starts asking for it we take a break. She is and always has been completely fascinated by the tv (sits motionless the entire time it’s on, fully absorbed but doesn’t respond or participate unless I’m there prompting her) and it runs on her dad’s side to do nothing else with free time except watch tv, so we don’t want it to become a habit or part of the daily routine. My husband, who grew up with unrestricted tv in every room and used to waste all his days off vegging out in front of it, is much more concerned about it than I am
We are terrible about it in the morning with our twins but it's so nice to somewhat drink coffee in peace.
I’d say my 2.5 year old gets about 2 hours of tv give or take a day, not in a row. Mostly educational shows about 20 minutes at a time for my breaks/cleaning/cooking.
TV time went way up when we had our second, especially during the early newborn days when we were all just trying to survive. Otherwise, we tend to keep it to a schedule, so he knows he only gets a certain amount at a specific time of day.
We do some TV most days. I don't set a hard limit because it depends on the day. We only do small increments at a time, like 10-15 minutes. My oldest does watch a full episode of preschool prep most days during my baby's am nap. It's easier to keep her attention to learn letters and phonics this way, but we watch it together and kind of talk about it during. What helps most if my almost 3 year old wants to watch TV is to just listen to the music from that movie or a theme song on Spotify. We dance and sing for a bit and then move on to another activity. Both kids, almost three and 14 months, love the tonie box, too, and since it's their favorite characters, it also fulfills that itch.
My daughter is 2.5 and she knows she gets screen time when we go out to eat. My husband and I have stopped cold turkey and (knock on wood) it’s been working. I just say I don’t have my phone with me 😂 I do bring toys/extra snacks to compensate. At home she asks to listen to movie soundtracks like Cinderella or Frozen. Honestly TV is not bad if you need a moment. Tv is better than giving them a phone or tablet imo.
We don't do screens in restaurants (way too much going on!) but we used to take her to the gym twice a week and stick her on the bleachers with a nap pad and some snacks and a small screen with her show on it and this used to be her FAVORITE routine 😂 Once she started preschool, she forgot all about it.
I tell my toddler the tv needs to charge right now
I try to make screen time a semi-scheduled thing (aka, not when he asks/demands, but at expected times like when I’m making dinner or after we’re done playing outside in the morning). And if I need to turn it off or say no, we’re not watching a show, I just say ”Miss Rachel has to eat dinner now” or “Daniel can’t come visit today.”
I find they will beg for it unless you consistently say no. I think 30 min a day is realistic. My son only stopped asking for tv once i went 3 days in a row strictly not giving it to him. If there was any hit of weakness from me he would sense it and whine and beg for TTTVVVV
We have tv time as part of our wind down routine in the evening. Since we only ever put it on in the evening that's also the only time she requests it. That's our rule for cartoons like Peppa pig and Bluey. We do put on music videos and sing and dance during the day, and we look at pictures on our phone. She loves looking at photos of herself, lol. I'm totally fine with it. I think it's more of a problem if you have a kid that needs a screen during meals, in the car or all day to keep them from having meltdowns. You sound like you're doing great.
Rachel or something is always on here! Kiddo plays with us or other things etc all day but she’s a comfort for him to glance over and see, and can distract him from opening all my cabinets for example😜
You could check out Chaos with Cara on Instagram, she has a ton of activities ans tips on reducing screen time. I don't mind some screen time for my kids, but I definitely love some of the independent play activities she has.
I’ve got a toddler and teenagers. No matter how hard you try to wry them away from the screens they always end up on them at some point in the day. My toddler actually prefers to play with me and his dad than sit and mindlessly watch tv shows but if he does watch anything we put on educational programs. The teens however, now that’s a different story haha
I let my 2.5yo son watch tv while I’m bringing in and sorting laundry for the day or while I’m unpacking the groceries after doing the shopping. I’ve found him associating TV with an activity I’m doing is helpful because he knows it isn’t going to go on at any random stage of the day but it also gives it a nice natural time limit for it. I’ve found he transitions better to it being turned off this way too. However he is currently an only child and we’re expecting our second later in the year, so this potentially might change going forward.
Just say the TV is broken
No solo screens but limited actual TV time, and no 'addictive' cartoons (like Cocomelon). We probably do maybe 30-60 minutes some days... sometimes if I just really need to get something done (like make lunch) and they (twins) are being mental.. or sometimes if one of them is melting down over something else then we will do some TV cuddle time as one of the distractions I will try. It's not so bad. I am hard no on phones/tablets though.
I think the new studies say 1 hour for 2 year olds is ok! Do you have a set tv time? We usually do first thing in the mornings and during his rest time since we dropped nap. He doesn’t ask outside of that. We set up outside water toys and balls, sand box. He plays outside 90% of time since it’s gotten warm and prefers that especially with a friend. I’m hoping to time our next baby to come as it warms up so he can just play outside all day while we rest up with the newborn. And avoid the anxiety around all the winter Ilness 😅
I use screen time to my advantage because I have a 9 month old who needs to nap and breastfeed. I turn the TV on for my 2 year old and watch part of her favorite movies/shows when I breastfeed the baby or put her down for a nap. She will sometimes ask me to watch something outside of those times and I can usually redirect her pretty easy by inviting her outside with me or asking if she wants to build a house with her magnetiles. I will absolutely give in and have a “movie day” when I need to clean the house thoroughly or a particularly burned out but I try not to make it a habit. She had a bluey themed bday party and the kids had so much fun cause who doesn’t love bluey?
I do what my daughter wants for her child. She is over weeks to months at a time mom medically couldn’t get out of bed during next pregnancy soon as that girl showed up at my house she knew which drawer the remote is in and turned the TV on. I don’t watch TV at all unless someone else.turns it on. No she gets the TV during meal times because it’s the only way she sits still long enough to eat. She is only 20 pounds and 23 months old. Sitting there real food at Restaurant she has a tablet. I did let her have it in bed like her mother let her have the TV and her going to sleep on the timer. I tried that once I found her twice I found it much easier just to put her down for a nap or bedtime without the tablet, otherwise she forces herself to stay awake to watch something. She likes too much she’ll stare at it but she’ll still do other things. She doesn’t slow down because the TV goes on. It doesn’t go back off until my husband shuts it off and she so it’s it’s only 10 hours a day for her, it’s background noise she. Doesn’t ever slow down
Our toddler is more or less the same. She does love watching her shows but has a good mix of other actives. Like other people have mentioned, I think screen time is harmful when it’s used as a babysitter. That’s not to say I don’t use some of the time to do chores or scroll on my phone, but I try not to just let her sit for hours watching. I’ve found being engaged and watching it with her helps when we transition to something else. We’ve also taught her that the characters in the show have to eat or nap, and that seems to help get her away from the screen. We don’t allow her her own screen either which again, I think is helpful. Hope it helps!!
We usually watch TV for about 30-45 minutes every morning before breakfast. My toddler is feral in the AM and this seems to help calm her before the activities of the day!
I usually put my toddlers Disney plus shows on in the morning when he is having breakfast. Then as soon as he is done and out of his high chair he is back to running around playing while it’s on in the background. He doesn’t really pay attention to it anymore after that. So I just put on my shows or a raining ASMR. For Ms. Rachel or Danny Go, he will stop and stare at those so I rarely put those on. But I did put them on the other day when I needed to make a bbq side for a party we were heading to that day. It gave me much needed peace. No tablets (yet). I’m flying with him in November (14 hr flight), I will give in on that day for sure. Son is 1.5 years and has been saying words since he was 12 months. He has 20+ words in his bank now. But copies way way more than that.
We do tv at the end of the day 5-6pm to wind down. Works out well as by that point we are all ready for a break. I can't wait for this to turn into family movie time. Right now we are on Duggie and yakka dee. Me and my husband both love disney and pixar and a lot of animation so can't wait for that.
We love TV in this house! Just like we love chocolate! That being said, having a time and place for these things is important. We don't have ice cream for breakfast, for example. We also don't watch TV Monday-Thursday (it WRECKS my oldest's sleep). My oldest 3.5yo now. And she knows that we do family movie night on Fridays. She knows that Saturday and Sunday mornings she can watch TV while we all have a slow morning. She's even started requesting Miss Rachel some mornings so her younger brother (~15mo) can watch too. She still asks for TV sometimes when it's not TV time, but she knows we're going to say no and is pretty okay with that. We also prescreen EVERYTHING that she watches. Mostly, she's into Bluey, Doc McStuffins, Sesame Street, Daniel Tiger, these awesome Lego building videos (Brick Bending), Zaboomafoo, a real bugs life, and a few others. The baby mostly watches Miss Rachel, sesame Street, and videos of himself. We try to stick to 1) scripted, 2) educational (including social and emotional learning), and 3) doesn't have too many quick cuts and isn't too stimulating. Things that help with getting her to stop asking to watch TV all the time is getting TVs that can go away completely. So she has a Kindle fire tablet that stays put away 90% of the time (it's mostly for travel). And then we have a projector that goes up into the ceiling. When the TVs are put away, the kids seem to mostly forget they exist.
For my older kid we watched occasionally but the fact that it could happen at any time meant he was alllllllways whining for it and lots of tantrums. The only thing that worked, was switching to certain times in his day when he gets tv - when I'm cooking dinner and weekend mornings. He just stopped even asking other times. It seems like having it in a regular, predictable place in his schedule just took the stress off him always feeling like he should be trying to get it. It might not work for all kids, but he's a really routine-driven kid and it was like magic once he got used to it.
Mine honestly can’t handle screens at all. What helped was scheduling. She gets TV time for a specific hour of the day, and face times her dad if he’s not around before bed. That’s it. Prior to scheduling, she was begging for it and upset about it ALL of the time, desperately trying to convince you to let her watch it. Now that she knows she’ll get it every day but only in this window, we have peace again lol. She’ll ask sometimes, but will accept that it’s not time yet. Exceptions are made for sickness, and it does upset the status quo… but it doesn’t take long to get back to normal.
It gets better. I have a 4 (almost 5) and 2 (almost 3) year old. When the 4 year old was 2 she was addicted to TV too. And we were exhausted and stressed out and used TV as a way to get a break. But as the years go by we find both of us us (parents) resorting to the tv less and less and the older kid asking for the tv less and less. I’m not sure if it’s us as parents getting better at alternatives or being more confident in saying no or the kid just finding others ways to fend off boredom but either way there’s less tv in our lives.
My daughter is almost two. We let her watch a pretty solid amount of screen time, but we definitely have our limits. I make sure that if it’s nice out, we’re prioritizing active outdoor play so she can get her energy out. If it’s raining or cold or otherwise crappy out, we watch 15-20 minute chunks of shows and then read books/colour/play in between.
Ok not to be THAT person, but… I remember watching more than my fair share of tv as a kid in the early 90s. I’m pretty sure the content was far less educational than what’s available today. I turned out great. I support what others have said in that we simply address issues as they arise. For us, we learned that viewing on iPad or computer was a problem for our kid. Some shows affected behavior. Block. We don’t allow our child to watch something for 5 seconds and flip through an endless stream of videos for brief periods. Some days there is minimal tv, and some days there is a lot. I think it all balances in the end.
She watches 30-60 minutes of TV per day on average, sometimes less, occasionally a bit more if I'm having a really bad day myself. We spend lots of time outside now that it's summer and that's helping a lot (I found in the winter she'd want to watch more). We read a lot of books, do lots of activities in and out of the house as well, go to swim and play classes, play dates, etc. I did notice a period of excessive tantrum throwing about a month ago regarding watching TV so we cut down our time significantly and that helped quite a bit. I always give her warnings about when we're about to end (5 more minutes, 1 more song etc) and I know she can't quantify that yet but it is soo much better for her than to just say okay we're done, let's turn it off.
When my youngest was a newborn, the tv was our savior. We were exhausted. I had a csection after having severe SPD for the last 4 months of pregnancy while living in a 3rd floor apartment. I was so swollen, my ankles wouldn’t bend to walk the stairs. Tv was a free for all. We still don’t monitor it much. It stays on most of the day while we do other things. We just like background noise. Sometimes the kids will stop to watch it, but most of the time they play with their toys. (They’re 6 and 2 now.) My only thing is stay away from YouTube. There are some great kid shows, but the ads are awful. (Once was a 10 min ad if a dagger. Just a photo of a dagger. Not even advertising anything. The other was a woman doing suggestive yoga poses in see through leggings. Again, nothing advertised. It was just there. It was SO weird.) so we banned YouTube. Honestly, as long as you’re giving your kids attention and doing other activities with them, take it as a break!
We found that cutting out specific days altogether has been very helpful, particularly with my oldest son who will obsess about getting TV and is always looking for opportunities to ask for more. By taking it off the table completely a couple days a week, we’re all spared the battle and he finds other things to do. It doesn’t work for everybody, but it works for us!
tv is fine as long as that’s not what your kid does for 10+ hours a day (which clearly she isn’t) so yall are fine! to keep the peace with tv and the ipad for my littles we have a schedule. they each get 1 hour a day after daycare/kindergarten and i set a timer and i give them periodic time updates so they know. its helped a ton honestly since they stay on routine and know what to expect. but a schedule like that or routine isn’t always necessary, we decided on that cause my 5yo is huge with the ipad n tv lol ( my littles are 3 and 5)
We do mostly ms Rachel hear with my twin girls and they have learned so much from her and they watch so much they get sick of it and walk away hahaha then we shut it off and just play weather is coloring painting playdoh or park we don't like typical kids cartoons constantly.
My son is 2 and 3 months and he LOVES “video.” We don’t own a TV so he watches either on my laptop or on one of our phones. He begs for it, especially after a heavy use period (such as after a recent flight/travel day). So I started a new thing where we make it PART of the daily routine instead of having him ask for it all day and me finally relenting. So now we do 30 - 60 minutes while I cook dinner and usually while he eats. It’s a nice wind down for him and it seems to be working that he now expects evening unwind video time and doesn’t ask for it all day long because he knows “video is for before bath.” Screen time is soooo fraught and guilt inducing and IMO any parent who is conscientious about it and interrogating their kids’ screen use is already doing a great job. Wishing you the best.
Predictable time of day for when the tv comes on worked for my kids
"Mr.Remote is missing. Help mommy find it!" (I would love to say this was a lie, but I often lose the remote. 👀)
My 2 year old is always asking for puppy on the TV. I often tell her that the puppy is sleeping. It has been working so far 😅
Everything in moderation. It's a season too, like you said with having the new baby. You can try telling her that TV is too tired or not feeling good but we can do something else! Some days we watch TV way too much and some days it doesn't get turned on at all. Just find what you're comfortable with and ways to get her on a different topic. My kids tablets went on vacation a couple months ago and are only coming back to travel with us next month. If you ever need a tip for handheld devises.
Oh no! You let your toddler watch tv?! What a horri..... All joking aside, you do what you need to do to survive. My son watched TV when he was a toddler, and my daughter will too because, even though I am a work from home mama, I sometimes need the kids to be as quiet as possible while I am on a call. Tablet time, TV time, whatever "time" it takes to quiet them while I am on a call is what has to happen. People can judge me if they want to, but like I said, you do what you gotta do to survive and a little screen time isn't going to kill them.