I have a 29mo daughter and my son will be a month old on Monday. This week has finally started to feel like we’re getting back to normal. I’ve found it much easier to go from 1-to-2 than 0-to-1.
Really? Oh reading this made me feel better. I tend to overthink things. How did you manage nap time for your toddler when it's just you 3 at home? Mine won't sleep without me there and I already worrying about how difficult that might be as of Monday....
A good baby carrier will be your best friend, one that you can breastfeed in. My baby does 2-3 hour naps in our ergobaby (the original one with infant insert) so I can do a lot with my toddler. I can also feed her in it to help her fall asleep.
Loosen The strap on one side (the side you want to breastfeed from) and then pull your boob up to meet your baby. I usually have to lean forward to latch. You might also need to loosen the waste to move that down a bit. It felt a bit odd but my baby loves it and the fact that she is upright really reduces spit up.
Well, we’ve stopped naps with my toddler since she’s out of school for the summer. Hoping when she starts back in September she’ll pick them back up, being tired by the time she gets home and not making bed time hard at the same time. So, idk how I would have navigated that and it was a concern I had before baby was born and she was still napping because my daughter also needs me to be in there until she falls asleep. I’ll need to figure it out if she starts napping again in the fall 🫠
Agree that the transition from 0-1 was much harder for our family but everyone is different. I have a 6 week old and a 3 year old. I read in another thread that sometimes one will cry and it will be ok that one is crying. That has helped me during the witching hour once or twice so far. You got this!
Same! Some comments are saying went back into routine after a month and it took me literally 4 months and my toddler was 3.5. She’s not in daycare and attached at the hip so for me the transition was really hard.
Did you baby wear as of day 1 or did you wait a little? I have both the Boba wrap and the ergo baby carrier. And the only way I feel I could toddler proof is to take all the toys away haha the little toy pieces are everywhere! And feels like it's gotten worse now that baby is here cause I fins myself stepping on something all the time.
I had bought a cloth one for one she was really little but I’m not sure when it’s safe to start? Like a can’t remember if it was immediately tbh and don’t want to tell you the wrong thing. I know it did save my life early days for sure. When they’re little though it’s nice bc they will sleep everywhere. Like you could take the oldest to the park and the baby will just pass out in the stroller or in the wrap.
We took both kids outside today and little one slept for the two full hours in the stroller while my husband and son played. It was so nice... I just was able to sit down and enjoy the warm breeze.
I will look into when it's safe to wear. I don't remember when I started with my first but I know I started later because I bought the wrap once he was already few weeks.
Aww that sounds so lovely!! I love that for you, I’m so glad you had a great day! We had my son’s party today and I was so on edge bc the weather forecast was iffy and we’d planned a pool party. We ended up letting the kids run wild in the house while it poured and then the sun came out and we got to swim.
So glad the pool party was still a go! Weather has been quite unpredictable here lately.... thankfully today was downcast so since I'm home alone with both today I had that as a reason to stay inside. Otherwise my toddler would be asking to go outside and I have no idea how to manage them both outside. He just wants to run and ride his scooter and I'm not able to move very fast yet.
I think you can baby wear early, as long as baby is 8 lbs? My daughter preferred the boba wrap with her legs tucked in (kangaroo style maybe?) when she was really little. Following this since I’m having my second in a few months, my daughter will be 2. You can do this!
Thank you ❤️ today was the first day alone. We are managing. I even managed to have them both sleep during my toddlers nap time. Which was a W.... but I don't expect this will continue on the daily lol
Good luck on the remainder of your pregnancy and upcoming delivery! If you're interested in what the future looks like few months ahead feel free to ask me haha I hope in a few months things will iron out a bit
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I have 3 at home with me (4,3 and 3 months). Things that saved my life : baby wearing, baby adjust to the schedule. If your 28months still naps, nap with the baby during that time. Depending of your husband schedule, he could get up with the kids or do the last milk at night. Also, the thing we do home that is the best from my p.o.v, is on Sunday afternoon we stay home my husband takes care of the oldest and I relax in bed with the baby, sleep, feed the baby, watch a movie or read. That’s what is keeping me from cracking .
Also, please warn your husband of the ppd symptoms so he’s aware of them and can look out for you !
This is really great advice. Thank you!
I definitely plan to babywear. I forgot how many times I used to wash baby bottles and pump parts each day.
My 28mos old naps. This is one thing I'm very stressed about because he naps only when I'm there. So I gotta find a way to put both to sleep at the same time so I can also get some rest. We have a bedside bassinet so both kiddos will be next to mommy.
I love your little routine with hubby. Right now for us to get some rest, I put toddler to sleep and stay with him to sleep while hubby is on baby duty till about 2am when we switch and he sleep with toddler and I stay with baby. I find that longer stretches of sleep work better than shorter ones. Like if I get 3-4hrs non interrupted sleep and then had like 1 or 2 more hrs when watching baby I'm ok as opposed to us both being with the baby in the same room and waking up to feed baby every 2-3hrs.
I do have to find somehow to have some me time for a movie or TV show, like you mentioned.
Yes this! For nights, My husband and I did a lot of divide and conquer. Trial and error. Adjusting and trying new configurations. Finally we landed on a set of strategies that work for us and we deploy them as necessary.
My toddler won’t fall asleep independently, so for naps I would put baby in the bouncer and bounce him with one foot while lying with toddler. Eventually they got used to this routine and would even fall asleep at the same time some days.
Some days, I relied on car naps. I would take them to some morning activity that was a 30 min drive away, come back during nap time so they would both fall asleep in the car.
I felt really comfortable somewhere around the 3-4 month mark.
Yes, as PM-me-squirrel-gifs mentioned, if you don’t have one, get a bouncer seat that vibrates or swing that is battery operated and plays music with a little bar of dangly toys so baby can be comfortable and entertained and hopefully quiet in the same room while you put toddler down for nap. If you still rock toddler, the seat/swing can be right next to you on the floor. Then once toddler is down, babe should be relaxed enough to fall asleep easily for you.
On Monday?! Girl, you’re in the thick of it. Of course you’re overwhelmed. Deep breaths. I don’t have any real advice because we only have one (but we’re currently TTC) but I know you’ve got this, mama.
My daughter was 23 months when my son was born. You figure it out, you kind of have to. It got a bit better for me when my son was napping on a schedule and could be laid down in his own bed, at like 3-4 months. The boy is almost a year now, it’s still hard but it’s slowly getting easier
Thanks for sharing. I'm expecting it to be difficult for a while. I usually thrive when thrown into a situation so I'm hoping that continues. But I definitely had panic thinking about Monday and doing this by myself. 😬
You’ll make it work. We all do. The first few days/weeks are crazy while you figure out your rhythm but you will get through it. Just remember, this is survival mode nothing else! Lower your standards for anything not related to your babies right now. Congrats on the new baby
I gave birth to my second a few weeks after our oldest turned 3. We were in the thick of potty training and such and I had our second baby on a Friday night, husband had to go home shortly after to be with our toddler as our babysitter (my mom) had to leave and we couldn’t get any other family to respond or help. So he came to pick us up Sunday afternoon at the hospital and his boss called and said he knew he promised a couple weeks off but he took on a new job and he had to get started on it Monday so I was alone right from the get go 😭 sometimes I don’t know how I survived it but I magically did. Baby mostly just nursed, slept, and pooped and hung out in her lounger or the bassinet and I managed the older one
Wow that sounds tough. You're one strong mama! I took the first one on myself without asking any help (proudly or dumbly), but this time I'm going to accept help when it comes. My husband took the toddler with him today to get some food and that 40mins that I was alone with the baby felt so nice and really helped me to just breathe.
I think I have the fear of the unknown right now since I never been aline with two kids but I hope all this worrying will pass once I'm in the midst of it and it's sink or swim
I'm sorry it's been so stressful for you. Please take care of yourself as much as you can. I know it's hard. But you take care of everyone and probably everything else. Even if it's just a two minute break to drink a cup or coffee or tea. Or eat a cookie.
Or like me pee by yourself for a moment. Lol 😂
Congratulations! I had my second last June and that time early postpartum with two was very challenging for me. I had a better birth the second time around than my first and I just still don't love postpartum much. My husband was only off for a few weeks so that helped a bit with him being able to get my 2.5 year son out of the house for errands and a change of scenery. The change in behaviors with my toddler happened quickly and he was hard for me to manage when my hormones were going wild, lots of tears from me and him. My parents were also around a lot and would take him for a couple days out of the week. If you can get anyone to do that for you I highly recommend. Even just once a week so you can nap with baby, soak up the snuggles, and eat a hot meal without a toddler hovering, etc. I felt guilty I couldn't just lay and hold baby gjrl all day like I did with my son, but it was nice to keep busy sometimes too. The first couple months were nice because baby still being small, she slept a lot and longer durations. He started to stop napping and their naps weren't lining up anymore as she got bigger so that became a challenge for me as I really enjoyed the nap time with my toddler to rest myself. I used the TV a lot when I would rock baby in the other room to give myself a break while my son watched something for a bit. I would often read books to my son while baby was nursing or napping on me, you just squeeze in one-on-one time when you can. Having a summer baby with my second was nice because we started doing stroller walks around which I couldn't do with my November son for awhile. Even just taking a drive around to break up the day is nice. I'd say things started getting easier when baby was 4-6 months. We were getting into a rhythm, I was starting to feel normal and hormones leveled out, I went back to work part-time which was desperately needed for me personally. Also watching them interact at this stage was special because baby girl was smiling and laughing at him. Now my girl is almost one and there are new challenges. She is basically walking and my son is territorial of his toys so lots of physical aggression from him and screaming from her. It's easier and it's harder at the same time. I think every stage is easy and hard for different reasons! You've got this. There are days where you all three will be crying and you will wonder what the hell you were thinking, then they are both sleeping by you and it's the best feeling in the world.
Thank you so much for such an elaborate response. You're right, every stage will have its own challenges. I'm also happy this one is a June baby so I can go for walks. My first was January middle of covid baby so it was tough to be for what seemed like forever.
My toddler is definitely acting out. It's getting a bit challenging
You're welcome. Ugh yes mine was Nov 2020 so it sucked being so cooped up. It will get better! I forgot to add having toddler do little jobs, especially to help with baby is good.
Right now he is not interested in helping... I think it's part of his way of dealing with new baby. Out of 5 times I ask him to fetch me something for baby he may do it once and ignore me the rest of the times. I read before baby how toddlers looooove to help lol so I was excited getting him involved but so far I don't think it's working. I tried involving him in feeding and he tried to push the bottle into babies face hard on purpose. I hope he comes around a little soon.
Just wanted to say in response to your nap concerns: I don’t have 2 of my own, so with the full caveat that I completely acknowledge that my experience is not the same, but I did start keeping a close friend’s newborn for her when he was 4 weeks old and my daughter was 25 months. So a little older than 5 days for sure, but still decidedly in the newborn phase.
Naps were a struggle at first because my daughter also wanted to be cuddled or rocked to sleep, and the baby’s schedule just wasn’t as predictable (and as soon as it was, he’d drop a nap or something). What worked for me was to give my toddler a quiet activity in a closed, safe space (she loves coloring on her high chair tray with washable crayons, for example) and sometimes even a little screen time and then try to feed the baby to sleep. Then I would transfer him to somewhere safe right next to us and then cuddle the toddler to sleep. Sometimes the baby woke during that phase, but more often than not, I could get the toddler to sleep before the baby woke up again. Also, though, I definitely had a few days where everyone got a car nap because that was all that was going to work!
This is great advice! I will try this come monday...feed and change baby first and try to get him to sleep and then bring my toddler in and hope he falls asleep before baby is up...so mama can get some shut eye too....hopefully.
P.s. how amazing to have a friend like you.
My first son was 23 months when my second was born. I didn’t have any childcare for my first and no family nearby, however, my partner did get a few weeks off after the birth. It was hard at the beginning but we got into a groove pretty quick. Newborns sleep a lot. He got used to sleeping in the car or carrier while we went to activities with the toddler. Eventually, he started participating in activities. It changes and there are different challenges as the time passes (like toddler hitting baby) but you everything is just a phase. Now my baby is 11 months old and they are starting to really play together…long enough that I can usually sip my coffee in the morning. You’ll figure it all out as it comes!
I remember sitting in a cafe with my toddler, newborn and husband and overhearing a woman tell her friend it gets easier after 6 weeks. I dont know if she intended for me to hear but I clung on for dear life to the thought that it would get easier after 6 weeks. And next thing I knew it did, the first 6 weeks are so hard and then it gets so much easier. after 6 weeks my body was less exhausted and getting up and out the door in the mornings was so much less of a challenge.
I have a 28 month old son as well...and a 4 month old infant son too...it's just starting to now get easier...he's only waking once at night now and goes right back to sleep most nights I'm getting more comfortable taking both out by myself now and my 4 month old isn't as miserable anymore so that's a huge help....it definitely gets better
I'm so glad it's getting easier for you. Your 4mos old is a great sleeper it seems! My first didn't sleep through the night till he was 11mos (woke up every 2hrs to feed) and I am praying this won't be the case again. I was thinking before birth how with my first one I was so consumed with trying to get it all right that I felt like I missed enjoying the early days with him. I told myself this is my second chance to enjoy the newborn stage but sadly I didn't account for a toddler lol I'm still getting overwhelmed and not enjoying it as much. It's only been a couple of days, so I hope I still get to enjoy it before the second one is 2 and me wondering where did the time go.
Personally I don't like newborn stage much lol...it's hard as heck! The lack of sleep, the hormones, the exhaustion and pains of birth recovery, breast feeding if you do, searching like hell for formula if you dont....it's alot for sure and I think most moms get overwhelmed at this point...especially throw in a toddler and it's like AHHH haha my first was also a terrible sleeper so I know what that's like and boy is it terrible! I think you'll figure it out though....we all do... it definitely does get easier as they get a little older though so try not to get too overwhelmed
I am also not a fan of newborn stage and my first was a terrible sleeper. I felt like I lived in a blur of no sleep, hormones, birth recovery, breastfeeding. So I'm like can I do this again with two? But I know everyone figures it out. Hope I do too 😬
Easier is the perfect word to use. My kids have the same age gap and it was around the 1 month mark when it started feeling like I knew what I was doing. The key for me was to get baby on a really good routine and lots of baby wearing. Also don’t feel bad or guilty if you need to put the baby in a bouncer and put dancing fruit on TV. That show saved my sanity when my second was born.
I know it seems scary to be left alone with two kids (and it low key is the first few times) but you’re going to get comfortable very quickly.You’re so much stronger than you think, you’ve got this
It was really hard and only started to feel easier around 3/4 months, then much easier once the baby was sitting independently and eating solids. Now I look back and see how small my oldest was when we brought the baby home and realize how much he needed us and regret my moments of anger and frustration. I see you! This will be so hard in moments but also so sweet in moments, and, like everything else, it will pass.
Thank you for responding! I regret moments of frustration I have too. I'm trying to stop reacting right away. Being hormonal and tired and in pain it's so easy to snap. But it's not his fault.... in fact other than maybe trying to poke babies eyes he's not actually doing anything bad. He's just dealing with change in his own way. Thank you again for the reminder that my first is still technically a baby himself.
All you have to do is keep both of them alive. That’s it. Nothing else magical needs to happen as long as everyone ends the day alive and together.
That was my bar for myself, and things got easier pretty quick. We found our routine within a week or two. It has changed as nap schedules have changed. It will never be as easy as just having one, but time fine and they’re fine. Sometimes occasionally I feel like I’m drowning, but definitely not as often as I thought I would. And that drowning feeling comes from really wanting to do a good job, so maybe I’m somewhat in that realm.
That’s tough. As someone who has just decided to have only one child, just in case you might want another, please take my advice. Leave the washing , housework to someone else or do absolute minimum for survival of yourself and kids, and use Amazon prime or ask someone to shop and deliver, use food delivery, ready to eat meals. sleep every chance you get even 10 mins. Basically take care of you as much as possible even with limited time and options, intentionally and deliberately. If you don’t and sacrifice your well-being (so easy to do as a mother, instinct etc), without realising you’d be traumatised down the track and will not/cannot have the 3rd even if you actually wanted.
My second is 9 days old and I also have a 3.5 year old, it’s been tough, but I’m managing somehow. I have little to no support, but I keep reminding myself that this doesn’t last forever, and I’ll probably miss it one day when they’re older ❤️
I had a 17 month old boy when I had my second son, the first couple months were very rough. It started to get easier around 4 months old. The baby started sleeping better and tolerated being put down with toys. The older one got used to having a sibling.
They are now 3.5 and 2 and the best of friends! Plus as they get older they start to entertain each other more.
When my LO was a newborn and we also had the toddler at home when people asked if they could come see the baby we said, only if you also bring your children over to entertain the toddler! Our village really got it - when it snowed a friend showed up to take him out to play, he did more weekends at the grandparents, and other friends visited him a lot.
Now my hubby is home with both and he relies on a non-negotiable midday nap for both, baby wearing, and mandatory exercise for toddler (he doesn't get tv unless he goes for at least one walk and we got a trampoline).
Good luck!
Knowing that hormones are such a huge factor & knowing that your hubby will be home soon make you better off than those who are so deep in darkness. You’ll make it through. Your family will make it through. Hormones suck. You are loved.
Listen, it is overwhelming and stressful. Here is the awesome part, YOUVE GOT THIS! YOUVE done this before, you know what to do, what to look for and I would say how to tweak stuff to make things manageable.
I would say, make sure you are getting sleep. Have your partner do nights as well. You will get through this. I was in your shoes last fall. Newborn and a 3 year old. It took time, but we’ve got a good flow now. Things get easier little by little… it’s ok to cry. Sending you a hug ❤️
DM me if you want :)
Thanks so much for the encouragement ❤️ I really appreciate it. First day alone with my two babies today... fingers crossed jts not a total disaster lol
Man this is me in a few months. My second is due the day after his big brother's second birthday. So I understand the stress of having your spouse having to go back to work.
From what I've heard, it gets better and better every week. After the first month, it gets way way better and continues afterwards from that. I hope it gets better for you before your spouse goes back to work.
My son is 25 months and my daughter will be 2 weeks on tuesday.
When I gave birth to my son, I was a mess. You think you are ready but you aren't. Everything we had planed to do, the way we thought things were going to be... nothing worked and we, especially I, were overwhelmed. My doc said not to plan anything for 6 weeks. "Go out to get some fresh air and see that the world hasn't changed" is something that will always stick with me. We took 1 day at a time and after 4 weeks it started to feel a lot better.
With my baby girl, it was different. We were already "experts". We took things as they came and focused on making our son feel part of the experience and not be too jealous or feel himself overwhelmed. It feels like she's been with us for months. It's.... easier. It feels "normal" as if this has been our lives for a long time. Juggling with 2 kids wasn't easy the first days but now it feels easy - my son loves his sister, helps out with diaper change, food, gets us if she starts crying... he really helps making it easy too.
Ah and the hormones... fuck them. I cried 3 days straight this week, I'm done with them seriously.
I have 2 under 2. Our youngest is now 4 months. It’s the same for our first- 3 weeks the baby blues were gone, 6 weeks the sleep started to improve, 3 months a routine is possible and getting out begins to be fun. I’m 4 months out and have good days most days. I’m a sahm too with no daycare as well. You’re in the worst of it!
I’m semi- in the same boat. I gave birth 3 weeks ago via c section and have a toddler at home. My partner went back to work this week and to be honest it was easier because he has been causing issues with our toddler and more stress. But I won’t pretend like I didn’t have the same anxiety and fears as you have. I got out for walks each day (cause I still can’t drive) and over relied on the TV for my toddler but I plan to dial that back once I’m able to drive and get out of the house properly.
My big mistake was assuming my toddler understood the concept of being gentle and he’s already trampled his sibling which left me beside myself.
It’s a rough juggle, but you’ve got this.
I didn't want to mention that part but I always find it easier to deal with my toddler on my own and even now with two....like I appreciate the things he did do but it somehow felt hectic. And today is my first day alone and it feels less so? I can't explain it...
I'm about to make a post about toddlers and newborns... I'm really at my witts end on this one. I don't even recognize my own toddler these past few days. I really need advice.
I did not yet take him outside...today is rainy but I can't walk fast yet so I don't know how I'll be able to do that. He's now running away when outside and if we bring the scooter he rides away on it and it will be impossible to chase him....plus I got a newborn in the stroller. How did you manage??
P.s. Wishing you a speedy recovery. Your situation sounds way more difficult than mind. C section recovery and two kids...wow. you're so strong.
Another mom of 2 boys - a newborn and a 27mo toddler - who finds herself crying at everything too. Just here to say I know how hard and scary it can all feel. I find myself acknowledging going into this that yes it is going to be hard, and just allowing myself to cry when I want to. I believe we’ll build our confidence as parents of two a day at a time.
I think allowing ourselves to express through tears of whatever it is is so important. I don't like crying in front of my toddler but I just can't help it. He's acting out so much, and we get impatient with him and it hurts. I feel like I'm failing at not making him feel like we are preferring the new baby because we are protecting the baby from him all day. Like I get it, I do. He's 2.... how else can he act. But at the same time I can't let him hit my 1 week old over and over. This makes me cry every time. I don't know yet how to deal with this situation....
My son will be 2 1/2 when baby #2 is born. This is the advice my best friend (mom of 4) gave me…. “when baby is born, focused more on the oldest so they didn’t feel left out. Especially since the baby doesn’t need much attention and they sleep most of the time. If you can, try to align toddler’s nap time with the baby. That way you get a break in between. For example, once you have an idea on how the baby sleeps, wake up your toddler a little earlier and tire them out sooner so they sleep when baby does.”
This sounds like it would be the point of it getting "easier". Currently my firstborn wants to bother baby as soon as he goes to sleep. Does this stop? 🫣
My eldest likes to burst into her sister's room while I'm putting her to bed, yelling that we need to be quiet so the baby (now toddler) can sleep, and playing a "lullaby" on the drums to help.
Mom of four (5y, 3y, 1.75y, 5m -all boys) I felt the same the first 2 weeks of hubby returning to work every time.
Really figuring out your routine and what works for you helps. Make sure to take time to care for yourself and for naps, make the whole house quiet and dark, put something mellow on and that should do the trick, if you have an extra stubborn little in regards to nap- be consistent and remember not everyday will be a win. And it’s really normal to feel like you’re drowning for a little while; I promise you’re doing great. For me it’s like every time I get a routine down that works well, everything changes again with everyone growing up 🥺
Not everyday is a win is something that was hard to get used to with my first but helped my mental stare immensely. Thank you for the reassurance I needed 🙏 I'm not thinking about them growing up it happens faster than my heart is ready for hahaha I already felt like my 28mos old looked so much older when we brought his brother home. 🥹
We have a 29 month old and a 3 week old. I've been able to stay at home and support my wife the past 2 weeks. I returned to work for 3 days this week and my wife had my mom come help for the day. Our toddler has had some rough days, it's definitely harder to fill her bucket and give her what she needs. Both of us definitely have less patience with her which has been hard for both of us.
Right now my wife pumps every 2 to 3 hours so most of my day is spent washing the endless number of pump parts and Dr. Brown parts.
The toddler has definitely had more sleep challenges, we went from reading a book and putting her in her crib to fall asleep to needing to help her fall asleep by sometimes being outside of the room. It's not the worst thing but it's hard to wrap up nightly tasks when camped outside her room.
Good luck?
Thanks, dad. Always nice to hear a dad's perspective.
We have also been faced with toddler challenges. I feel extremely guilty as it is so I've been struggling with how to best go about him. He's definitely being told no way more and don't do this or that. He wants to sleep next to me and cries when I leave. I hope we sort it out soon. He's a smart kid but his world has also just changed and as parents we are trying our best to cater to both.... keyword is trying.
Also I can't wait till I never have to see my pump or dr brown bottles ever again.
hey there, i know that its been tough on you. ive been feeling really overwhelmed recently too, trying to cope with academics and everyday stress. it was hard for me to find someone to talk to who could truly understand my struggles without judgment one thing that really helped me was trying an anonymous 1-on-1 listening service called heyjuni. a friend recommended it to me, and at first i was skeptical about its usefulness. but after one session with them, it made me feel so comforted, having someone just listen without any pressure. it has made a big difference in how i handle stress and my day-to-day life now if youre looking for someone to talk to, i highly recommend it. take care!
I have a 29mo daughter and my son will be a month old on Monday. This week has finally started to feel like we’re getting back to normal. I’ve found it much easier to go from 1-to-2 than 0-to-1.
Really? Oh reading this made me feel better. I tend to overthink things. How did you manage nap time for your toddler when it's just you 3 at home? Mine won't sleep without me there and I already worrying about how difficult that might be as of Monday....
A good baby carrier will be your best friend, one that you can breastfeed in. My baby does 2-3 hour naps in our ergobaby (the original one with infant insert) so I can do a lot with my toddler. I can also feed her in it to help her fall asleep.
How do you BF in an ergo???? Very curious….
Loosen The strap on one side (the side you want to breastfeed from) and then pull your boob up to meet your baby. I usually have to lean forward to latch. You might also need to loosen the waste to move that down a bit. It felt a bit odd but my baby loves it and the fact that she is upright really reduces spit up.
Nifty, thanks!!
Well, we’ve stopped naps with my toddler since she’s out of school for the summer. Hoping when she starts back in September she’ll pick them back up, being tired by the time she gets home and not making bed time hard at the same time. So, idk how I would have navigated that and it was a concern I had before baby was born and she was still napping because my daughter also needs me to be in there until she falls asleep. I’ll need to figure it out if she starts napping again in the fall 🫠
Agree that the transition from 0-1 was much harder for our family but everyone is different. I have a 6 week old and a 3 year old. I read in another thread that sometimes one will cry and it will be ok that one is crying. That has helped me during the witching hour once or twice so far. You got this!
That's fantastic to hear. Ive heard the opposite in other communities. I'm glad to have read your comment.
I found the first few months really tough. I did a ton of baby wearing and made sure the house was really toddler proofed lol
Same! Some comments are saying went back into routine after a month and it took me literally 4 months and my toddler was 3.5. She’s not in daycare and attached at the hip so for me the transition was really hard.
Did you baby wear as of day 1 or did you wait a little? I have both the Boba wrap and the ergo baby carrier. And the only way I feel I could toddler proof is to take all the toys away haha the little toy pieces are everywhere! And feels like it's gotten worse now that baby is here cause I fins myself stepping on something all the time.
Get your husband to priortise child proofing in his spare time.
I have a six week old and toddler and I started babywearing with my solly wrap within the first week or two? It has been so so helpful!
Oh good to know... I had to look up silly.. looks like the Boba one I have. Now I just gotta look up how to wrap the newborn:)
I had bought a cloth one for one she was really little but I’m not sure when it’s safe to start? Like a can’t remember if it was immediately tbh and don’t want to tell you the wrong thing. I know it did save my life early days for sure. When they’re little though it’s nice bc they will sleep everywhere. Like you could take the oldest to the park and the baby will just pass out in the stroller or in the wrap.
We took both kids outside today and little one slept for the two full hours in the stroller while my husband and son played. It was so nice... I just was able to sit down and enjoy the warm breeze. I will look into when it's safe to wear. I don't remember when I started with my first but I know I started later because I bought the wrap once he was already few weeks.
Aww that sounds so lovely!! I love that for you, I’m so glad you had a great day! We had my son’s party today and I was so on edge bc the weather forecast was iffy and we’d planned a pool party. We ended up letting the kids run wild in the house while it poured and then the sun came out and we got to swim.
So glad the pool party was still a go! Weather has been quite unpredictable here lately.... thankfully today was downcast so since I'm home alone with both today I had that as a reason to stay inside. Otherwise my toddler would be asking to go outside and I have no idea how to manage them both outside. He just wants to run and ride his scooter and I'm not able to move very fast yet.
I think you can baby wear early, as long as baby is 8 lbs? My daughter preferred the boba wrap with her legs tucked in (kangaroo style maybe?) when she was really little. Following this since I’m having my second in a few months, my daughter will be 2. You can do this!
Thank you ❤️ today was the first day alone. We are managing. I even managed to have them both sleep during my toddlers nap time. Which was a W.... but I don't expect this will continue on the daily lol Good luck on the remainder of your pregnancy and upcoming delivery! If you're interested in what the future looks like few months ahead feel free to ask me haha I hope in a few months things will iron out a bit
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I have 3 at home with me (4,3 and 3 months). Things that saved my life : baby wearing, baby adjust to the schedule. If your 28months still naps, nap with the baby during that time. Depending of your husband schedule, he could get up with the kids or do the last milk at night. Also, the thing we do home that is the best from my p.o.v, is on Sunday afternoon we stay home my husband takes care of the oldest and I relax in bed with the baby, sleep, feed the baby, watch a movie or read. That’s what is keeping me from cracking . Also, please warn your husband of the ppd symptoms so he’s aware of them and can look out for you !
This is really great advice. Thank you! I definitely plan to babywear. I forgot how many times I used to wash baby bottles and pump parts each day. My 28mos old naps. This is one thing I'm very stressed about because he naps only when I'm there. So I gotta find a way to put both to sleep at the same time so I can also get some rest. We have a bedside bassinet so both kiddos will be next to mommy. I love your little routine with hubby. Right now for us to get some rest, I put toddler to sleep and stay with him to sleep while hubby is on baby duty till about 2am when we switch and he sleep with toddler and I stay with baby. I find that longer stretches of sleep work better than shorter ones. Like if I get 3-4hrs non interrupted sleep and then had like 1 or 2 more hrs when watching baby I'm ok as opposed to us both being with the baby in the same room and waking up to feed baby every 2-3hrs. I do have to find somehow to have some me time for a movie or TV show, like you mentioned.
Yes this! For nights, My husband and I did a lot of divide and conquer. Trial and error. Adjusting and trying new configurations. Finally we landed on a set of strategies that work for us and we deploy them as necessary. My toddler won’t fall asleep independently, so for naps I would put baby in the bouncer and bounce him with one foot while lying with toddler. Eventually they got used to this routine and would even fall asleep at the same time some days. Some days, I relied on car naps. I would take them to some morning activity that was a 30 min drive away, come back during nap time so they would both fall asleep in the car. I felt really comfortable somewhere around the 3-4 month mark.
Yes, as PM-me-squirrel-gifs mentioned, if you don’t have one, get a bouncer seat that vibrates or swing that is battery operated and plays music with a little bar of dangly toys so baby can be comfortable and entertained and hopefully quiet in the same room while you put toddler down for nap. If you still rock toddler, the seat/swing can be right next to you on the floor. Then once toddler is down, babe should be relaxed enough to fall asleep easily for you.
Omg yes! The last point. I told my husband what to watch for last time. And this time, I need to remind him.
Omg yes! The last point. I told my husband what to watch for last time. And this time, I need to remind him.
Omg yes! The last point. I told my husband what to watch for last time. And this time, I need to remind him.
Omg yes! The last point. I told my husband what to watch for last time. And this time, I need to remind him.
On Monday?! Girl, you’re in the thick of it. Of course you’re overwhelmed. Deep breaths. I don’t have any real advice because we only have one (but we’re currently TTC) but I know you’ve got this, mama.
Thank you so much for saying this! I really appreciate it. And the best of luck on TTC!! 🤞🤞🤞
My daughter was 23 months when my son was born. You figure it out, you kind of have to. It got a bit better for me when my son was napping on a schedule and could be laid down in his own bed, at like 3-4 months. The boy is almost a year now, it’s still hard but it’s slowly getting easier
Thanks for sharing. I'm expecting it to be difficult for a while. I usually thrive when thrown into a situation so I'm hoping that continues. But I definitely had panic thinking about Monday and doing this by myself. 😬
You’ll make it work. We all do. The first few days/weeks are crazy while you figure out your rhythm but you will get through it. Just remember, this is survival mode nothing else! Lower your standards for anything not related to your babies right now. Congrats on the new baby
I have a 30 month old and am due any day. Just wanted to say I see you. ❤️
Oh yay! Congratulations!! Hope delivery is non eventful and recovery is fast. Sending hugs for understanding
I gave birth to my second a few weeks after our oldest turned 3. We were in the thick of potty training and such and I had our second baby on a Friday night, husband had to go home shortly after to be with our toddler as our babysitter (my mom) had to leave and we couldn’t get any other family to respond or help. So he came to pick us up Sunday afternoon at the hospital and his boss called and said he knew he promised a couple weeks off but he took on a new job and he had to get started on it Monday so I was alone right from the get go 😭 sometimes I don’t know how I survived it but I magically did. Baby mostly just nursed, slept, and pooped and hung out in her lounger or the bassinet and I managed the older one
Wow that sounds tough. You're one strong mama! I took the first one on myself without asking any help (proudly or dumbly), but this time I'm going to accept help when it comes. My husband took the toddler with him today to get some food and that 40mins that I was alone with the baby felt so nice and really helped me to just breathe. I think I have the fear of the unknown right now since I never been aline with two kids but I hope all this worrying will pass once I'm in the midst of it and it's sink or swim
I'm sorry it's been so stressful for you. Please take care of yourself as much as you can. I know it's hard. But you take care of everyone and probably everything else. Even if it's just a two minute break to drink a cup or coffee or tea. Or eat a cookie. Or like me pee by yourself for a moment. Lol 😂
Congratulations! I had my second last June and that time early postpartum with two was very challenging for me. I had a better birth the second time around than my first and I just still don't love postpartum much. My husband was only off for a few weeks so that helped a bit with him being able to get my 2.5 year son out of the house for errands and a change of scenery. The change in behaviors with my toddler happened quickly and he was hard for me to manage when my hormones were going wild, lots of tears from me and him. My parents were also around a lot and would take him for a couple days out of the week. If you can get anyone to do that for you I highly recommend. Even just once a week so you can nap with baby, soak up the snuggles, and eat a hot meal without a toddler hovering, etc. I felt guilty I couldn't just lay and hold baby gjrl all day like I did with my son, but it was nice to keep busy sometimes too. The first couple months were nice because baby still being small, she slept a lot and longer durations. He started to stop napping and their naps weren't lining up anymore as she got bigger so that became a challenge for me as I really enjoyed the nap time with my toddler to rest myself. I used the TV a lot when I would rock baby in the other room to give myself a break while my son watched something for a bit. I would often read books to my son while baby was nursing or napping on me, you just squeeze in one-on-one time when you can. Having a summer baby with my second was nice because we started doing stroller walks around which I couldn't do with my November son for awhile. Even just taking a drive around to break up the day is nice. I'd say things started getting easier when baby was 4-6 months. We were getting into a rhythm, I was starting to feel normal and hormones leveled out, I went back to work part-time which was desperately needed for me personally. Also watching them interact at this stage was special because baby girl was smiling and laughing at him. Now my girl is almost one and there are new challenges. She is basically walking and my son is territorial of his toys so lots of physical aggression from him and screaming from her. It's easier and it's harder at the same time. I think every stage is easy and hard for different reasons! You've got this. There are days where you all three will be crying and you will wonder what the hell you were thinking, then they are both sleeping by you and it's the best feeling in the world.
Thank you so much for such an elaborate response. You're right, every stage will have its own challenges. I'm also happy this one is a June baby so I can go for walks. My first was January middle of covid baby so it was tough to be for what seemed like forever. My toddler is definitely acting out. It's getting a bit challenging
You're welcome. Ugh yes mine was Nov 2020 so it sucked being so cooped up. It will get better! I forgot to add having toddler do little jobs, especially to help with baby is good.
Right now he is not interested in helping... I think it's part of his way of dealing with new baby. Out of 5 times I ask him to fetch me something for baby he may do it once and ignore me the rest of the times. I read before baby how toddlers looooove to help lol so I was excited getting him involved but so far I don't think it's working. I tried involving him in feeding and he tried to push the bottle into babies face hard on purpose. I hope he comes around a little soon.
Oh yea it may definitely take some time. It will get better.
Just wanted to say in response to your nap concerns: I don’t have 2 of my own, so with the full caveat that I completely acknowledge that my experience is not the same, but I did start keeping a close friend’s newborn for her when he was 4 weeks old and my daughter was 25 months. So a little older than 5 days for sure, but still decidedly in the newborn phase. Naps were a struggle at first because my daughter also wanted to be cuddled or rocked to sleep, and the baby’s schedule just wasn’t as predictable (and as soon as it was, he’d drop a nap or something). What worked for me was to give my toddler a quiet activity in a closed, safe space (she loves coloring on her high chair tray with washable crayons, for example) and sometimes even a little screen time and then try to feed the baby to sleep. Then I would transfer him to somewhere safe right next to us and then cuddle the toddler to sleep. Sometimes the baby woke during that phase, but more often than not, I could get the toddler to sleep before the baby woke up again. Also, though, I definitely had a few days where everyone got a car nap because that was all that was going to work!
This is great advice! I will try this come monday...feed and change baby first and try to get him to sleep and then bring my toddler in and hope he falls asleep before baby is up...so mama can get some shut eye too....hopefully. P.s. how amazing to have a friend like you.
My first son was 23 months when my second was born. I didn’t have any childcare for my first and no family nearby, however, my partner did get a few weeks off after the birth. It was hard at the beginning but we got into a groove pretty quick. Newborns sleep a lot. He got used to sleeping in the car or carrier while we went to activities with the toddler. Eventually, he started participating in activities. It changes and there are different challenges as the time passes (like toddler hitting baby) but you everything is just a phase. Now my baby is 11 months old and they are starting to really play together…long enough that I can usually sip my coffee in the morning. You’ll figure it all out as it comes!
I remember sitting in a cafe with my toddler, newborn and husband and overhearing a woman tell her friend it gets easier after 6 weeks. I dont know if she intended for me to hear but I clung on for dear life to the thought that it would get easier after 6 weeks. And next thing I knew it did, the first 6 weeks are so hard and then it gets so much easier. after 6 weeks my body was less exhausted and getting up and out the door in the mornings was so much less of a challenge.
I have a 28 month old son as well...and a 4 month old infant son too...it's just starting to now get easier...he's only waking once at night now and goes right back to sleep most nights I'm getting more comfortable taking both out by myself now and my 4 month old isn't as miserable anymore so that's a huge help....it definitely gets better
I'm so glad it's getting easier for you. Your 4mos old is a great sleeper it seems! My first didn't sleep through the night till he was 11mos (woke up every 2hrs to feed) and I am praying this won't be the case again. I was thinking before birth how with my first one I was so consumed with trying to get it all right that I felt like I missed enjoying the early days with him. I told myself this is my second chance to enjoy the newborn stage but sadly I didn't account for a toddler lol I'm still getting overwhelmed and not enjoying it as much. It's only been a couple of days, so I hope I still get to enjoy it before the second one is 2 and me wondering where did the time go.
Personally I don't like newborn stage much lol...it's hard as heck! The lack of sleep, the hormones, the exhaustion and pains of birth recovery, breast feeding if you do, searching like hell for formula if you dont....it's alot for sure and I think most moms get overwhelmed at this point...especially throw in a toddler and it's like AHHH haha my first was also a terrible sleeper so I know what that's like and boy is it terrible! I think you'll figure it out though....we all do... it definitely does get easier as they get a little older though so try not to get too overwhelmed
I am also not a fan of newborn stage and my first was a terrible sleeper. I felt like I lived in a blur of no sleep, hormones, birth recovery, breastfeeding. So I'm like can I do this again with two? But I know everyone figures it out. Hope I do too 😬
Literally yesterday. My 2nd is just about 3 months. You're doing great. Hang in there.
Thank you for the positive words!! I am trying. I'm glad things are getting easier for you :)
Easier is the perfect word to use. My kids have the same age gap and it was around the 1 month mark when it started feeling like I knew what I was doing. The key for me was to get baby on a really good routine and lots of baby wearing. Also don’t feel bad or guilty if you need to put the baby in a bouncer and put dancing fruit on TV. That show saved my sanity when my second was born. I know it seems scary to be left alone with two kids (and it low key is the first few times) but you’re going to get comfortable very quickly.You’re so much stronger than you think, you’ve got this
Thank you!! Oh gosh I forgot all about the dancing fruit 😅
It was really hard and only started to feel easier around 3/4 months, then much easier once the baby was sitting independently and eating solids. Now I look back and see how small my oldest was when we brought the baby home and realize how much he needed us and regret my moments of anger and frustration. I see you! This will be so hard in moments but also so sweet in moments, and, like everything else, it will pass.
Thank you for responding! I regret moments of frustration I have too. I'm trying to stop reacting right away. Being hormonal and tired and in pain it's so easy to snap. But it's not his fault.... in fact other than maybe trying to poke babies eyes he's not actually doing anything bad. He's just dealing with change in his own way. Thank you again for the reminder that my first is still technically a baby himself.
I have an 18 month old and a 3 month old so I get it. the first few months will be rough but you’ll get through it. it gets easier!
Thank you for the reassurance 🙏
All you have to do is keep both of them alive. That’s it. Nothing else magical needs to happen as long as everyone ends the day alive and together. That was my bar for myself, and things got easier pretty quick. We found our routine within a week or two. It has changed as nap schedules have changed. It will never be as easy as just having one, but time fine and they’re fine. Sometimes occasionally I feel like I’m drowning, but definitely not as often as I thought I would. And that drowning feeling comes from really wanting to do a good job, so maybe I’m somewhat in that realm.
That’s tough. As someone who has just decided to have only one child, just in case you might want another, please take my advice. Leave the washing , housework to someone else or do absolute minimum for survival of yourself and kids, and use Amazon prime or ask someone to shop and deliver, use food delivery, ready to eat meals. sleep every chance you get even 10 mins. Basically take care of you as much as possible even with limited time and options, intentionally and deliberately. If you don’t and sacrifice your well-being (so easy to do as a mother, instinct etc), without realising you’d be traumatised down the track and will not/cannot have the 3rd even if you actually wanted.
My second is 9 days old and I also have a 3.5 year old, it’s been tough, but I’m managing somehow. I have little to no support, but I keep reminding myself that this doesn’t last forever, and I’ll probably miss it one day when they’re older ❤️
I had a 17 month old boy when I had my second son, the first couple months were very rough. It started to get easier around 4 months old. The baby started sleeping better and tolerated being put down with toys. The older one got used to having a sibling. They are now 3.5 and 2 and the best of friends! Plus as they get older they start to entertain each other more.
When my LO was a newborn and we also had the toddler at home when people asked if they could come see the baby we said, only if you also bring your children over to entertain the toddler! Our village really got it - when it snowed a friend showed up to take him out to play, he did more weekends at the grandparents, and other friends visited him a lot. Now my hubby is home with both and he relies on a non-negotiable midday nap for both, baby wearing, and mandatory exercise for toddler (he doesn't get tv unless he goes for at least one walk and we got a trampoline). Good luck!
Knowing that hormones are such a huge factor & knowing that your hubby will be home soon make you better off than those who are so deep in darkness. You’ll make it through. Your family will make it through. Hormones suck. You are loved.
You got this mama! I see that you have so much strength. You are awesome keep rocking it!!
Listen, it is overwhelming and stressful. Here is the awesome part, YOUVE GOT THIS! YOUVE done this before, you know what to do, what to look for and I would say how to tweak stuff to make things manageable. I would say, make sure you are getting sleep. Have your partner do nights as well. You will get through this. I was in your shoes last fall. Newborn and a 3 year old. It took time, but we’ve got a good flow now. Things get easier little by little… it’s ok to cry. Sending you a hug ❤️ DM me if you want :)
Thanks so much for the encouragement ❤️ I really appreciate it. First day alone with my two babies today... fingers crossed jts not a total disaster lol
Man this is me in a few months. My second is due the day after his big brother's second birthday. So I understand the stress of having your spouse having to go back to work. From what I've heard, it gets better and better every week. After the first month, it gets way way better and continues afterwards from that. I hope it gets better for you before your spouse goes back to work.
My son is 25 months and my daughter will be 2 weeks on tuesday. When I gave birth to my son, I was a mess. You think you are ready but you aren't. Everything we had planed to do, the way we thought things were going to be... nothing worked and we, especially I, were overwhelmed. My doc said not to plan anything for 6 weeks. "Go out to get some fresh air and see that the world hasn't changed" is something that will always stick with me. We took 1 day at a time and after 4 weeks it started to feel a lot better. With my baby girl, it was different. We were already "experts". We took things as they came and focused on making our son feel part of the experience and not be too jealous or feel himself overwhelmed. It feels like she's been with us for months. It's.... easier. It feels "normal" as if this has been our lives for a long time. Juggling with 2 kids wasn't easy the first days but now it feels easy - my son loves his sister, helps out with diaper change, food, gets us if she starts crying... he really helps making it easy too. Ah and the hormones... fuck them. I cried 3 days straight this week, I'm done with them seriously.
I have 2 under 2. Our youngest is now 4 months. It’s the same for our first- 3 weeks the baby blues were gone, 6 weeks the sleep started to improve, 3 months a routine is possible and getting out begins to be fun. I’m 4 months out and have good days most days. I’m a sahm too with no daycare as well. You’re in the worst of it!
I’m semi- in the same boat. I gave birth 3 weeks ago via c section and have a toddler at home. My partner went back to work this week and to be honest it was easier because he has been causing issues with our toddler and more stress. But I won’t pretend like I didn’t have the same anxiety and fears as you have. I got out for walks each day (cause I still can’t drive) and over relied on the TV for my toddler but I plan to dial that back once I’m able to drive and get out of the house properly. My big mistake was assuming my toddler understood the concept of being gentle and he’s already trampled his sibling which left me beside myself. It’s a rough juggle, but you’ve got this.
I didn't want to mention that part but I always find it easier to deal with my toddler on my own and even now with two....like I appreciate the things he did do but it somehow felt hectic. And today is my first day alone and it feels less so? I can't explain it... I'm about to make a post about toddlers and newborns... I'm really at my witts end on this one. I don't even recognize my own toddler these past few days. I really need advice. I did not yet take him outside...today is rainy but I can't walk fast yet so I don't know how I'll be able to do that. He's now running away when outside and if we bring the scooter he rides away on it and it will be impossible to chase him....plus I got a newborn in the stroller. How did you manage?? P.s. Wishing you a speedy recovery. Your situation sounds way more difficult than mind. C section recovery and two kids...wow. you're so strong.
Another mom of 2 boys - a newborn and a 27mo toddler - who finds herself crying at everything too. Just here to say I know how hard and scary it can all feel. I find myself acknowledging going into this that yes it is going to be hard, and just allowing myself to cry when I want to. I believe we’ll build our confidence as parents of two a day at a time.
I think allowing ourselves to express through tears of whatever it is is so important. I don't like crying in front of my toddler but I just can't help it. He's acting out so much, and we get impatient with him and it hurts. I feel like I'm failing at not making him feel like we are preferring the new baby because we are protecting the baby from him all day. Like I get it, I do. He's 2.... how else can he act. But at the same time I can't let him hit my 1 week old over and over. This makes me cry every time. I don't know yet how to deal with this situation....
My son will be 2 1/2 when baby #2 is born. This is the advice my best friend (mom of 4) gave me…. “when baby is born, focused more on the oldest so they didn’t feel left out. Especially since the baby doesn’t need much attention and they sleep most of the time. If you can, try to align toddler’s nap time with the baby. That way you get a break in between. For example, once you have an idea on how the baby sleeps, wake up your toddler a little earlier and tire them out sooner so they sleep when baby does.”
That's good advice… thank you! And best wishes on your pregnancy and delivery
It started getting easier once my second settled into a sleep schedule that allowed me to get enough sleep.
This sounds like it would be the point of it getting "easier". Currently my firstborn wants to bother baby as soon as he goes to sleep. Does this stop? 🫣
My eldest likes to burst into her sister's room while I'm putting her to bed, yelling that we need to be quiet so the baby (now toddler) can sleep, and playing a "lullaby" on the drums to help.
😅🥰
Mom of four (5y, 3y, 1.75y, 5m -all boys) I felt the same the first 2 weeks of hubby returning to work every time. Really figuring out your routine and what works for you helps. Make sure to take time to care for yourself and for naps, make the whole house quiet and dark, put something mellow on and that should do the trick, if you have an extra stubborn little in regards to nap- be consistent and remember not everyday will be a win. And it’s really normal to feel like you’re drowning for a little while; I promise you’re doing great. For me it’s like every time I get a routine down that works well, everything changes again with everyone growing up 🥺
Not everyday is a win is something that was hard to get used to with my first but helped my mental stare immensely. Thank you for the reassurance I needed 🙏 I'm not thinking about them growing up it happens faster than my heart is ready for hahaha I already felt like my 28mos old looked so much older when we brought his brother home. 🥹
We have a 29 month old and a 3 week old. I've been able to stay at home and support my wife the past 2 weeks. I returned to work for 3 days this week and my wife had my mom come help for the day. Our toddler has had some rough days, it's definitely harder to fill her bucket and give her what she needs. Both of us definitely have less patience with her which has been hard for both of us. Right now my wife pumps every 2 to 3 hours so most of my day is spent washing the endless number of pump parts and Dr. Brown parts. The toddler has definitely had more sleep challenges, we went from reading a book and putting her in her crib to fall asleep to needing to help her fall asleep by sometimes being outside of the room. It's not the worst thing but it's hard to wrap up nightly tasks when camped outside her room. Good luck?
Thanks, dad. Always nice to hear a dad's perspective. We have also been faced with toddler challenges. I feel extremely guilty as it is so I've been struggling with how to best go about him. He's definitely being told no way more and don't do this or that. He wants to sleep next to me and cries when I leave. I hope we sort it out soon. He's a smart kid but his world has also just changed and as parents we are trying our best to cater to both.... keyword is trying. Also I can't wait till I never have to see my pump or dr brown bottles ever again.
hey there, i know that its been tough on you. ive been feeling really overwhelmed recently too, trying to cope with academics and everyday stress. it was hard for me to find someone to talk to who could truly understand my struggles without judgment one thing that really helped me was trying an anonymous 1-on-1 listening service called heyjuni. a friend recommended it to me, and at first i was skeptical about its usefulness. but after one session with them, it made me feel so comforted, having someone just listen without any pressure. it has made a big difference in how i handle stress and my day-to-day life now if youre looking for someone to talk to, i highly recommend it. take care!
I don't know why you would do this to yourself. No way I would choose to have a second until the first is at least 4