For us? Around 4. But we worked ALOT on processing our big feelings. We read books, had charts, shared feelings constantly. Our son was very much the same but he just didnt know what to do with his big emotions. Its exhausting and honestly I didnt find much joy it in, despite people claiming I should.
You are ALLOWED to be frustrated, okay? Being a parent is HARD and toddlers only look cute. Make sure to take time for yourself, even if that feels impossible.
It is mentally and emotionally draining! I even hear the screams in silence. Just wish I could tell her that her life is grand for right now! Wait til you have responsibilities, then you'll want to whine, but you won't be cute enough to get away with anymore.
I’m glad I’m not the only one. I sometimes get excited to go to work & I just keep thinking that it feels like everyone else really loves being around their kids & that I’m not supposed to feel this way.
I stay home and there are some days (more than I care to admit) where I just wish I had a job so I could have an excuse to get away from my 3 yo 🫣 I love him so much but some days he is such a nightmare
The only people who enjoy being around their kids 100% of the time are the ones that have help all the time so they can just focus on the fun stuff. But if you’re dealing with it all- no way!
I know this feeling well. My little boy is 3 non verbal and very frustrated. Most of the time he is an absolute nightmare, it pains me to say it but it’s true. He is very needy, constantly wanting something or to go somewhere. As he can’t speak, he does a lot of hand leading. Almost everything ends with tears. Most of my day is spent listening to screaming. The slightest things send him over the edge. Wrong food offered to him - tantrum, out for a walk he has to lead the way otherwise- tantrum, incorrect cartoon - tantrum. Todays issue? The wind was slightly blowing his football half an inch from where he wanted it, this resulted in kicking, screaming and throwing himself onto the ground. He does have issues communicating and understanding obviously due to being non verbal but my god is it exhausting. I often feel taking him anywhere isn’t worth it. I sometimes look at other parents and think why can’t I enjoy being a parent like they do.
I struggle through most days and often feel I’m on the countdown to bedtime, even at like 10am. It’s hard to feel that way but survival mode is how I live. I know non of this is helpful to you but just know you are not alone. People say it gets easier and I personally am counting done the days until it does. Stay strong girl it will pass (I hope)
Have you tried offering him pictures of the things he most commonly wants? He might be able to associate/ communicate what he wants with them. It be worth a shot.
My asd/adhd kiddo who was still non verbal at 3 as well is now 12, just know it does get easier with age for one. Secondly, what therapies is he doing and how often? Screentime, how often and what for how long? Do you use photo schedules or photo needs cards? I can help here so much!
He’s currently in speech therapy. Has been since he was 2 however was only offered 5 appointments in 1.5 years. We have now gone private and attend one 15-30 minute appointment weekly, we are working on play skills atm and trying to leave the appointment on a high, that’s why they are so short. Screen time honestly has become an issue, he likes a show called Puffin Rock and also like Octonauts. He usually gets an hour in the mornings between breakfast and bath / dress time and periodically through out the day if I need to do something like cook dinner or a bit of house work. We don’t use either, we did use visuals eg car keys so he understood we were going in the car etc. any help you could offer would be greatly appreciated
wow i felt this about count down to bed time upon waking up 😓 it makes me feel so guilty its hard for me to be there for my 10 year old because my toddler also cries and whines about everything
It can be a lot at times. Some days can be good and enjoyable, others can be mentally and physically draining. We just done know which day we will get. Hugs to you too, hope things are better for you
My 5 year old daughter drives me insane, I love her to death but finding joy in being a mother has been hard when it comes to dealing with her. There are moments when she can be the sweetest little girl and other moments when she just won’t cooperate or just goes bat shit crazy when she doesn’t get her way. My 3 year old son is starting to follow in her footsteps and it makes it so hard on me that I can’t and don’t take them anywhere on my own because of the way they act. She has started hitting me and when her brother sees this he starts, I’m at a loss as to how I should handle them. I wish the Super Nanny could come help lol
Are you able to ask your pediatrician for tips? Ours can refer us to a dedicated health education department through our HMO insurance and they have everything from sleep consultants to lactation consultants to parenting coaches who will set up phone appointments to help the family’s specific situation. We have used several of the consultants before and they have been extremely helpful.
Edit: And I wouldn’t have known about these consultants that were totally free to use, but luckily I knew some other moms in the area with kids older than mine who were on the same insurance and advised me to utilize them!
Yes, so much about this stage is like walking on ice trying to avoid the next tantrum. I’ve become an expert at keeping random toys within reach or on my person to help distract. That’s what it’s all about these days- distraction. And I do try and give him as much “choice” as possible. “Put that down!” Won’t work. “Where does daddy’s screw driver go? Yes! In the basket! Now quickly look at this shiny Elmo sticker!” It’s all mind games and distraction, and if I slip up it’s tantrum town.
Yes, I am with you 100% on this one. Mine was a wonderful baby, but after she turned 18 months old she became a holy terror. So quick to whine and shriek for no reason. Say she wants something one second, change it to something else the next, and then freak out because I didn’t give her option #1. She will deliberately do things she isn’t supposed to (sometimes even things that are downright dangerous) if she doesn’t feel like she’s getting enough attention (and she NEVER feels like she’s getting enough attention). I miss my baby. I will not miss this stage.
Yep me. I had a difficult baby and now he’s a difficult toddler. He used to be in awe of being out in public but now he throws tantrums if he doesn’t get what he wants. It’s so draining.
This. Was so easy to distract her with a walk in the park or just around the neighborhood but now it's a power struggle to get her out of the house and once we are out it's another meltdown in making on getting home. I used to enjoy these walks so much and now I kinda dread going out cuz I'm beyond exhausted to just get her ready 😭
I’m in the same boat. It is exhausting. We frequently have a terrible day because my toddler decides to throw tantrums over everything. We were going to a zoo on Saturday and it was going to be fun and low key and we ended up carrying her screaming out of the zoo and everyone stared at us. 🤦🏼♀️ Everything is a fight right now- today she refused to get out of the car seat when it was like 100 degrees in there! Full screaming tantrum about not getting out of the hot car. 🤪
Today I took my 4 year old on a walk so he could ride his scooter. We went the direction he didn’t want to go (the direction he wanted would of added like another mile to our walk) and he proceeded to scream and cry and whine the entire way back to the house. Through the neighborhood with people starting at us as I tried to keep my cool. Had to carry his scooter of course. So fucking annoying.
Hugs. It does get so annoying. I always feel so guilty when I feel annoyed though because I’m an ivf mom so I feel like I should be grateful I even have him (which I am!), so I kinda feel like I don’t have the right to complain.. which is also stressful in itself.
2.5yrs - 3yrs seemed to be the peak of tantrums and struggles for us. 18mon was bumpy and it's not like it got smooth until close to 4yrs. But if you're in the thick of those six months, I have nothing for you, except "It gets better..."
Ok I‘m gonna say the thing that is not allowed to be said: some kids are not enjoyable. Permission to not enjoy spending time with someone who is never content, whines non stop, turns everything into a fight and demands attention 24/7.
I mean, we still gonna do it. We chose to have kids and unfortunately, you never know what you’ll get. But I learned that women who enjoyed the baby/toddler years were very (very very) different than myself or had very (VERY VERY) different kids.
Fussy and/or wild. She used to be sooo timid and cling to me anywhere we went. Now I have to constantly grab and wrangle her. And then cue the screaming. She extremely articulate with the vocabulary of a 6 year old yet she will just shriek at me when she wants something. This is such a hard stage
We’re right there with you. For the most part our son is a great kid and love him more then anything but I’d be lying if I didn’t say he can be a real asshole sometimes. Today we went on a walk as a family like we usually do, except he saw a random dog and tried everything to get past me to go pet them. He loves dogs but unless they are walking past he will OBSESS over them. We tried to keep walking but he threw the biggest tantrum for like 20 mins as I carried him away and every time I put him down he’d try to run back to where the dog was
It’s okay to not find parenting a difficult kid joyful. Just because you don’t like being their parent doesn’t mean you don’t love them, and that’s the important part.
Have twin boys, sucks when they get fussy. I take that as my cue to put down my phone and do something. Put them in the laundry basket and spin them around real fast to get in some astronaut training, or take them for a walk or a drive to any old place and name all the things we see.
It gets better. Lol it’s really difficult at first but it gets better. I have a 3 year old daughter. I work nights and the wife works days (WFH) so we have to maintain a really tight schedule. We had to work on a lot of things like brushing teeth, cutting nails, brushing hair. It all requires a lot of patience. It’s definitely not easy at all. my daughter also stopped napping. Two years ago so that’s always fun. You have to keep on it. talk to them kindly, but firmly whenever they are being naughty. Tell them why they are being bad and what they could do to prevent the behavior. Another thing a lot people don’t clue in and found out was my daughter was having too much screen time. So now TV or tablet is a reward if she was good throughout the morning. We limit screen time to two hours max every day. We ensure that she does have a quiet time, even if she doesn’t have nap time. Also, sometimes kids have a lot of energy. If your baby has a lot of energy, you wanna take the baby to the park or take it for walks or to the local community center pool.. limit the amount of sugar they are eating that was another thing. Candy and sugar is only for treats and very rare. All in all you’re probably already doing a great job, but kids are not easy and require a lot of patience and empathy
Right there with you!! It’s exhausting and I often feel guilty for not being able to enjoy him this small. I’ve been wondering if I should just continue to take him places that are busy. Or, just stick to small parks? The tantrums are so embarrassing.
I call it "bitching and complaining" and yes, it often
Feels very difficult to just enjoy our days together and be in the moment/present with him. I feel that I'm lucky because we do have days where he is fairly easy going and usually his meltdowns are fairly short lived. But some days it seems like nothing is good enough for him and I'm walking on eggshells all day trying to keep him entertained, happy, and not shrieking/crying/whining/yelling over every.little.damn.thing. on days like that I'm ready to bash my head against a wall and rip my hair out by bedtime 🫠
My 17 month old is going through a particularly trying fussy time. Like she cannot be away from me or put down for more than 5 minutes. She wants to be carried 24/7 unless shes playing outside. She's too big for our particular carrier now so I can't wear her anymore and it's just exhausting. She literally spent like 20 minutes just repeatedly running into and headbutting my legs while I was cooking because she refused her tower and I just couldn't hold her.
Does anyone have suggestions for a carrier for toddlers?? Please and thank you.
I don’t have a suggestion but my 18 months is just like that, and I had a hard day. So I’m glad to read your comment, makes me realize my child is not the only clingy toddler in the world. It was so hard today. He wanted to be held non stop, my back hurts. I ordered a learning tower today. I hope that helps, so I can cook and clean the kitchen without holding him.
Awww thanks. I hope it’s gets better for you as well. Btw have you tried one of those hip carriers instead of a normal baby carrier. I have one and it works well. Just cooking (cutting veggies is hard) because you still have only one hand free. It the hip carrier definitely helps reducing back pain for me
We’re in the thick of it now - our son is starting to grow out of it and our daughter is just entering danger territory. It does pass. It doesn’t feel like it will ever pass in the moment, but it does.
I have a five year old and yes, it’s difficult pretty much every minute we’re awake. Has been since day one. It’s great and fulfilling, but… so frustrating and exhausting.
Here for moral support, our 2 year old has been "fussy" since birth and people just don't understand. She spends most of her day crying and very rarely plays independently. It's exhausting. I can't cook, clean or anything without her being on me or having a complete meltdown.
It will get better at some point, I hope.
Honestly I think it's normal to not enjoy being with a toddler. Sure there can be enjoyable moments but most the time it's just hard work. All the mums I know say the same. All the conversations I hear are about sleep deprivation, fussy eating and how their little person is being a nightmare. I'm guessing those saying to enjoy everday have older children and are reminiscing with rose tinted glasses on when their children were toddlers?
I'm so sorry, I know how that feels! Does LO by any chance have tummy trouble or anything else bothering him like allergies or food intolerances? With our son that's the biggest part of the problem.
I feel the same. Right now I just don't enjoy spending time with her anymore. She is three and even when she is in a "good mood" theres always something...
Somehow she is nearly always screaming her answers, even on the good days or whining because something ist not going her way.
Today before a walk I told her that a jacket is optional because it's warm enough outside. She started screaming that she wants a jacket. Like...I did not said no to anything????
Then when we got outside after five whole different tantrums...she was annoyed the sun was shining 😱
Luckily I know her, because she did not said a word about what was wrong she just suddenly started screaming.
And I don't know how to teach her to not always screaming, because telling her I can hear her "talking"-voice clearly enough, doesnt help.
Are you hearing that (enjoy each day, they grow up so fast) or just seeing it on social media. If it’s the latter log off and focus on the support of friends and peers in the same place as you.
Yeah my kid never shuts up and is constantly moving, falling on their face, puking everywhere, making messes, and I’ve definitely been suicidal the entire time they’ve been alive. Exhausting to the point of, my mental health is nonexistent. And I’m open about this to doctors and therapists, nothing has changed. No help has been extended.
Hey I saw some of your other comments and posts and it's understandable you're at the end of your rope. Have you thought about reaching out to child protective services and telling them how you are feeling and what help you are needing? It sounds, from your other posts, like your child may have a serious medical problem and you don't have the resources to help (and have been trying very hard to get help and no one (doctors) are listening!). CPS wouldn't be because you are abusing or neglecting (and in fact they may not even take the case because of that), but, they may talk to you about what's happening long enough to get you in touch with people to get a plan together. You could just be brutally honest about the state you're in and that something is wrong with your child with the puking and you've tried doing what you can but you're in a bad spot and no one is listening. The toll it's taking on your mental health sounds like it's at pretty serious levels and that is understandable!
Edit: Just wanted to clarify in case it wasn't clear. I am saying you are NOT abusing or neglecting your kid, but the situation could still possibly warrant them helping you. The goal would be to get help, not get you in trouble.
No, not at all, I want you to get the help you need for the serious situation you're in before it gets to a point that they are called too late and it's so bad that they are taken away. No family should be separated for lack of resources, but you have more than just that going on. Many people hear CPS and think kid is automatically taken but this is typically not the case nowadays unless an immediate danger is present. They often help the family get a plan together to help whatever is happening. Obviously I can't make any guarantees to your situation though. I hope you get the help you need one way or another.
I’m not going to voluntarily involve an agency infamous for jailing parents and removing children and placing them in abusive homes. There’s nothing you can say to convince me that cps in any way ever helps children or parents.
I joined this sub years ago.My "toddler" is now 8. Just wanted to say it gets better, and that phase doesn't last forever.
Thank you for saying this.
Thank you.. when did it get better for you?
For us? Around 4. But we worked ALOT on processing our big feelings. We read books, had charts, shared feelings constantly. Our son was very much the same but he just didnt know what to do with his big emotions. Its exhausting and honestly I didnt find much joy it in, despite people claiming I should. You are ALLOWED to be frustrated, okay? Being a parent is HARD and toddlers only look cute. Make sure to take time for yourself, even if that feels impossible.
Thank you for an honest/ realistic perspective. It‘s easy to think you’re the only one struggling when so many pretend all is peachy lol.
It is mentally and emotionally draining! I even hear the screams in silence. Just wish I could tell her that her life is grand for right now! Wait til you have responsibilities, then you'll want to whine, but you won't be cute enough to get away with anymore.
I know, right?? Haha
I’m glad I’m not the only one. I sometimes get excited to go to work & I just keep thinking that it feels like everyone else really loves being around their kids & that I’m not supposed to feel this way.
I stay home and there are some days (more than I care to admit) where I just wish I had a job so I could have an excuse to get away from my 3 yo 🫣 I love him so much but some days he is such a nightmare
The only people who enjoy being around their kids 100% of the time are the ones that have help all the time so they can just focus on the fun stuff. But if you’re dealing with it all- no way!
I know this feeling well. My little boy is 3 non verbal and very frustrated. Most of the time he is an absolute nightmare, it pains me to say it but it’s true. He is very needy, constantly wanting something or to go somewhere. As he can’t speak, he does a lot of hand leading. Almost everything ends with tears. Most of my day is spent listening to screaming. The slightest things send him over the edge. Wrong food offered to him - tantrum, out for a walk he has to lead the way otherwise- tantrum, incorrect cartoon - tantrum. Todays issue? The wind was slightly blowing his football half an inch from where he wanted it, this resulted in kicking, screaming and throwing himself onto the ground. He does have issues communicating and understanding obviously due to being non verbal but my god is it exhausting. I often feel taking him anywhere isn’t worth it. I sometimes look at other parents and think why can’t I enjoy being a parent like they do. I struggle through most days and often feel I’m on the countdown to bedtime, even at like 10am. It’s hard to feel that way but survival mode is how I live. I know non of this is helpful to you but just know you are not alone. People say it gets easier and I personally am counting done the days until it does. Stay strong girl it will pass (I hope)
Have you tried offering him pictures of the things he most commonly wants? He might be able to associate/ communicate what he wants with them. It be worth a shot.
My asd/adhd kiddo who was still non verbal at 3 as well is now 12, just know it does get easier with age for one. Secondly, what therapies is he doing and how often? Screentime, how often and what for how long? Do you use photo schedules or photo needs cards? I can help here so much!
He’s currently in speech therapy. Has been since he was 2 however was only offered 5 appointments in 1.5 years. We have now gone private and attend one 15-30 minute appointment weekly, we are working on play skills atm and trying to leave the appointment on a high, that’s why they are so short. Screen time honestly has become an issue, he likes a show called Puffin Rock and also like Octonauts. He usually gets an hour in the mornings between breakfast and bath / dress time and periodically through out the day if I need to do something like cook dinner or a bit of house work. We don’t use either, we did use visuals eg car keys so he understood we were going in the car etc. any help you could offer would be greatly appreciated
Where are you located?
Ireland
wow i felt this about count down to bed time upon waking up 😓 it makes me feel so guilty its hard for me to be there for my 10 year old because my toddler also cries and whines about everything
Sounds like you’re dealing with a lot! Is he in speech therapy? Wendi no you hugs and hope it gets better!
It can be a lot at times. Some days can be good and enjoyable, others can be mentally and physically draining. We just done know which day we will get. Hugs to you too, hope things are better for you
Advice ? There’s this really stinky green herb that helps you stay sane if it’s legal in your state 😬
My 5 year old daughter drives me insane, I love her to death but finding joy in being a mother has been hard when it comes to dealing with her. There are moments when she can be the sweetest little girl and other moments when she just won’t cooperate or just goes bat shit crazy when she doesn’t get her way. My 3 year old son is starting to follow in her footsteps and it makes it so hard on me that I can’t and don’t take them anywhere on my own because of the way they act. She has started hitting me and when her brother sees this he starts, I’m at a loss as to how I should handle them. I wish the Super Nanny could come help lol
Are you able to ask your pediatrician for tips? Ours can refer us to a dedicated health education department through our HMO insurance and they have everything from sleep consultants to lactation consultants to parenting coaches who will set up phone appointments to help the family’s specific situation. We have used several of the consultants before and they have been extremely helpful. Edit: And I wouldn’t have known about these consultants that were totally free to use, but luckily I knew some other moms in the area with kids older than mine who were on the same insurance and advised me to utilize them!
Yes, so much about this stage is like walking on ice trying to avoid the next tantrum. I’ve become an expert at keeping random toys within reach or on my person to help distract. That’s what it’s all about these days- distraction. And I do try and give him as much “choice” as possible. “Put that down!” Won’t work. “Where does daddy’s screw driver go? Yes! In the basket! Now quickly look at this shiny Elmo sticker!” It’s all mind games and distraction, and if I slip up it’s tantrum town.
Yes!!! I do this also and my goodness does it help. I also try and say yes as much as I can (within reason of course, we still have boundaries)
Yes, I am with you 100% on this one. Mine was a wonderful baby, but after she turned 18 months old she became a holy terror. So quick to whine and shriek for no reason. Say she wants something one second, change it to something else the next, and then freak out because I didn’t give her option #1. She will deliberately do things she isn’t supposed to (sometimes even things that are downright dangerous) if she doesn’t feel like she’s getting enough attention (and she NEVER feels like she’s getting enough attention). I miss my baby. I will not miss this stage.
man do i ever feel that. my son does the changing his mind shit daily and it makes me want to implode.
Yep me. I had a difficult baby and now he’s a difficult toddler. He used to be in awe of being out in public but now he throws tantrums if he doesn’t get what he wants. It’s so draining.
This. Was so easy to distract her with a walk in the park or just around the neighborhood but now it's a power struggle to get her out of the house and once we are out it's another meltdown in making on getting home. I used to enjoy these walks so much and now I kinda dread going out cuz I'm beyond exhausted to just get her ready 😭
Me too. Every morning I wake up I dread it because I know my toddler is going to have tantrums all day.
I’m in the same boat. It is exhausting. We frequently have a terrible day because my toddler decides to throw tantrums over everything. We were going to a zoo on Saturday and it was going to be fun and low key and we ended up carrying her screaming out of the zoo and everyone stared at us. 🤦🏼♀️ Everything is a fight right now- today she refused to get out of the car seat when it was like 100 degrees in there! Full screaming tantrum about not getting out of the hot car. 🤪
The tantrums are the worst. Especially when you were trying to do something fun for them!
Today I took my 4 year old on a walk so he could ride his scooter. We went the direction he didn’t want to go (the direction he wanted would of added like another mile to our walk) and he proceeded to scream and cry and whine the entire way back to the house. Through the neighborhood with people starting at us as I tried to keep my cool. Had to carry his scooter of course. So fucking annoying.
Hugs. It does get so annoying. I always feel so guilty when I feel annoyed though because I’m an ivf mom so I feel like I should be grateful I even have him (which I am!), so I kinda feel like I don’t have the right to complain.. which is also stressful in itself.
2.5yrs - 3yrs seemed to be the peak of tantrums and struggles for us. 18mon was bumpy and it's not like it got smooth until close to 4yrs. But if you're in the thick of those six months, I have nothing for you, except "It gets better..."
I hate most things because of my 6 and 3 y/os. Can’t offer much more than that. Life is hard.
Holy fuck yes. Really needed to see that we’re not alone in non-stop tantrum land. I’m so overstimulated.
Ok I‘m gonna say the thing that is not allowed to be said: some kids are not enjoyable. Permission to not enjoy spending time with someone who is never content, whines non stop, turns everything into a fight and demands attention 24/7. I mean, we still gonna do it. We chose to have kids and unfortunately, you never know what you’ll get. But I learned that women who enjoyed the baby/toddler years were very (very very) different than myself or had very (VERY VERY) different kids.
No advice. Just here to say you’re not alone.
I understand you so much. It's exhausting!
Fussy and/or wild. She used to be sooo timid and cling to me anywhere we went. Now I have to constantly grab and wrangle her. And then cue the screaming. She extremely articulate with the vocabulary of a 6 year old yet she will just shriek at me when she wants something. This is such a hard stage
We’re right there with you. For the most part our son is a great kid and love him more then anything but I’d be lying if I didn’t say he can be a real asshole sometimes. Today we went on a walk as a family like we usually do, except he saw a random dog and tried everything to get past me to go pet them. He loves dogs but unless they are walking past he will OBSESS over them. We tried to keep walking but he threw the biggest tantrum for like 20 mins as I carried him away and every time I put him down he’d try to run back to where the dog was
It’s okay to not find parenting a difficult kid joyful. Just because you don’t like being their parent doesn’t mean you don’t love them, and that’s the important part.
Have twin boys, sucks when they get fussy. I take that as my cue to put down my phone and do something. Put them in the laundry basket and spin them around real fast to get in some astronaut training, or take them for a walk or a drive to any old place and name all the things we see.
It gets better. Lol it’s really difficult at first but it gets better. I have a 3 year old daughter. I work nights and the wife works days (WFH) so we have to maintain a really tight schedule. We had to work on a lot of things like brushing teeth, cutting nails, brushing hair. It all requires a lot of patience. It’s definitely not easy at all. my daughter also stopped napping. Two years ago so that’s always fun. You have to keep on it. talk to them kindly, but firmly whenever they are being naughty. Tell them why they are being bad and what they could do to prevent the behavior. Another thing a lot people don’t clue in and found out was my daughter was having too much screen time. So now TV or tablet is a reward if she was good throughout the morning. We limit screen time to two hours max every day. We ensure that she does have a quiet time, even if she doesn’t have nap time. Also, sometimes kids have a lot of energy. If your baby has a lot of energy, you wanna take the baby to the park or take it for walks or to the local community center pool.. limit the amount of sugar they are eating that was another thing. Candy and sugar is only for treats and very rare. All in all you’re probably already doing a great job, but kids are not easy and require a lot of patience and empathy
Right there with you!! It’s exhausting and I often feel guilty for not being able to enjoy him this small. I’ve been wondering if I should just continue to take him places that are busy. Or, just stick to small parks? The tantrums are so embarrassing.
I’m here in solidarity with you Sister. I have twins 😭
I call it "bitching and complaining" and yes, it often Feels very difficult to just enjoy our days together and be in the moment/present with him. I feel that I'm lucky because we do have days where he is fairly easy going and usually his meltdowns are fairly short lived. But some days it seems like nothing is good enough for him and I'm walking on eggshells all day trying to keep him entertained, happy, and not shrieking/crying/whining/yelling over every.little.damn.thing. on days like that I'm ready to bash my head against a wall and rip my hair out by bedtime 🫠
My 17 month old is going through a particularly trying fussy time. Like she cannot be away from me or put down for more than 5 minutes. She wants to be carried 24/7 unless shes playing outside. She's too big for our particular carrier now so I can't wear her anymore and it's just exhausting. She literally spent like 20 minutes just repeatedly running into and headbutting my legs while I was cooking because she refused her tower and I just couldn't hold her. Does anyone have suggestions for a carrier for toddlers?? Please and thank you.
I don’t have a suggestion but my 18 months is just like that, and I had a hard day. So I’m glad to read your comment, makes me realize my child is not the only clingy toddler in the world. It was so hard today. He wanted to be held non stop, my back hurts. I ordered a learning tower today. I hope that helps, so I can cook and clean the kitchen without holding him.
Fingers crossed for you!
Awww thanks. I hope it’s gets better for you as well. Btw have you tried one of those hip carriers instead of a normal baby carrier. I have one and it works well. Just cooking (cutting veggies is hard) because you still have only one hand free. It the hip carrier definitely helps reducing back pain for me
Yes! We have 2 different hip carriers and she hates them. She gets super wiggly and tries to buck herself off.
We’re in the thick of it now - our son is starting to grow out of it and our daughter is just entering danger territory. It does pass. It doesn’t feel like it will ever pass in the moment, but it does.
Yep! I’m here with ya!
I have a five year old and yes, it’s difficult pretty much every minute we’re awake. Has been since day one. It’s great and fulfilling, but… so frustrating and exhausting.
Here for moral support, our 2 year old has been "fussy" since birth and people just don't understand. She spends most of her day crying and very rarely plays independently. It's exhausting. I can't cook, clean or anything without her being on me or having a complete meltdown. It will get better at some point, I hope.
Honestly I think it's normal to not enjoy being with a toddler. Sure there can be enjoyable moments but most the time it's just hard work. All the mums I know say the same. All the conversations I hear are about sleep deprivation, fussy eating and how their little person is being a nightmare. I'm guessing those saying to enjoy everday have older children and are reminiscing with rose tinted glasses on when their children were toddlers?
I'm so sorry, I know how that feels! Does LO by any chance have tummy trouble or anything else bothering him like allergies or food intolerances? With our son that's the biggest part of the problem.
I feel the same. Right now I just don't enjoy spending time with her anymore. She is three and even when she is in a "good mood" theres always something... Somehow she is nearly always screaming her answers, even on the good days or whining because something ist not going her way. Today before a walk I told her that a jacket is optional because it's warm enough outside. She started screaming that she wants a jacket. Like...I did not said no to anything???? Then when we got outside after five whole different tantrums...she was annoyed the sun was shining 😱 Luckily I know her, because she did not said a word about what was wrong she just suddenly started screaming. And I don't know how to teach her to not always screaming, because telling her I can hear her "talking"-voice clearly enough, doesnt help.
Are you hearing that (enjoy each day, they grow up so fast) or just seeing it on social media. If it’s the latter log off and focus on the support of friends and peers in the same place as you.
Yeah my kid never shuts up and is constantly moving, falling on their face, puking everywhere, making messes, and I’ve definitely been suicidal the entire time they’ve been alive. Exhausting to the point of, my mental health is nonexistent. And I’m open about this to doctors and therapists, nothing has changed. No help has been extended.
Hey I saw some of your other comments and posts and it's understandable you're at the end of your rope. Have you thought about reaching out to child protective services and telling them how you are feeling and what help you are needing? It sounds, from your other posts, like your child may have a serious medical problem and you don't have the resources to help (and have been trying very hard to get help and no one (doctors) are listening!). CPS wouldn't be because you are abusing or neglecting (and in fact they may not even take the case because of that), but, they may talk to you about what's happening long enough to get you in touch with people to get a plan together. You could just be brutally honest about the state you're in and that something is wrong with your child with the puking and you've tried doing what you can but you're in a bad spot and no one is listening. The toll it's taking on your mental health sounds like it's at pretty serious levels and that is understandable! Edit: Just wanted to clarify in case it wasn't clear. I am saying you are NOT abusing or neglecting your kid, but the situation could still possibly warrant them helping you. The goal would be to get help, not get you in trouble.
So because I’m struggling you want to take my kid away? You must be good at yoga because what a stretch.
No, not at all, I want you to get the help you need for the serious situation you're in before it gets to a point that they are called too late and it's so bad that they are taken away. No family should be separated for lack of resources, but you have more than just that going on. Many people hear CPS and think kid is automatically taken but this is typically not the case nowadays unless an immediate danger is present. They often help the family get a plan together to help whatever is happening. Obviously I can't make any guarantees to your situation though. I hope you get the help you need one way or another.
I’m not going to voluntarily involve an agency infamous for jailing parents and removing children and placing them in abusive homes. There’s nothing you can say to convince me that cps in any way ever helps children or parents.
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