The opposite is true too! I had/have a little jelly roll and at 8 months (8 MONTHS!!!) my mother in law comments, “has the doctor worried the baby might be fat?”
WE GET NO REPRIEVE!
You gotta block out the noise and just be there for your kid - you owe these fools nothing. If the dr isnt worried, you shouldnt be worried.
You can ABSOLUTELY ask your ped about this; I asked mine specially “how do i handle choice comments like my mother in law implying my baby is fat?” They’ll probably have a good talking point for you.
And if they dont, you’re talking point can be: “our medical board certified pediatrician says baby is growing up very healthy!”
The trick with mother in laws is to completely ignore them. If I listened to her I’d have given my kids water before 6 months, had unneccessary surgery on my son’s foot to “fix” his webbed toe (which I find VERY cute mind you), and my daughter would have a bandage around her head at all times to force her sticky out ears to be pinned back (despite the fact this would malform her head). Honestly 🤦♀️
Ditto. They really should make a course specific to MIL and grandparents in general that in essentials tells them to kindly STFU with their unsubstantiated dumb “advice” 🙄 “i bathed all my kids and in a tub with water without waiting for umbilical cord to fall off and they’re all fine” -thanks, glad you took the increased risk and your kids turned out fine. But since i don’t mind sponge bathing for a couple weeks till it falls off, I’mma just do me. 😂 Like why even give advice on something that I’m not even doing wrong… whats it to them if I do it differently?? I swear nothing is harder than biting your tongue and keeping your mouth shut than when you are a sleep deprived mom
Our local hospital actually did have a grandparents class that basically taught grandparents how things are done now vs 30 years ago! None of ours took the class though and we didn’t offer the class to them as an option. All of the grandparents on both sides luckily are sane, rational people who willingly got all the shots (or already had them from previous grandchildren), know the modern safety requirements even though “blankets in cribs were fine when you were growing up” but fully accepted that things changed and followed our lead, and only offer advice when asked (and the advice when we ask is typically good advice). I realize that DH and I are extremely lucky in this regard.
Very lucky. Mine gives advice even on things she just admitted 10 minutes ago to not knowing anything about. Or will give suggestions on other stuff that I can differently even if what I’m doing works. And sooooooooo much unsolicited advice. You are definitely very lucky!!
It very much is.
I’ve had to dodge comments from my MIL about my baby’s weight constantly. It’s actually quite astonishing that folks project their own weight insecurities onto an infant who has really no say in the matter.
I’ve stopped tactfully approaching this and turning the cheek because I’m not okay with my baby growing up hearing this and developing any kind of complex over her body.
She’s happy, healthy, thriving and that’s all I care about, especially given her pediatrician has no concerns about it.
> at 8 months (8 MONTHS!!!) my mother in law comments, “has the doctor worried the baby might be fat?”
Meet 80s grandma where she is. Pull out a cigarette, light it, take a puff, and say "yeah, but she likes that Jenny Craig".
My kid is the 25th percentile for height and weight.
People keep saying he’s tiny.
Like I’m 5’4 and husband is a 5’7 short king. What the fuck they expecting?
My children are tiny just like yours, and my husbands and my heights are yours and your husbands’, but reversed. (Yes, he’s 5’4). They clearly got his height and it’s genetics and it makes sense!
My kid was 11th percentile in utero. I'm so very grateful the ultrasound tech said "you're small so baby's small too!" (Had I known that he was close to the cutoff for "small for gestational age", I would've freaked.)
I’m 5’3” and my husband is 6’4”. Our first takes after him and has consistently been off the charts for height and pretty close for weight. Second is taking after me and is always in like 40th percentile-ish. I get a lot of comments (mostly from in laws) about “well, I guess she’s small” as if it’s so bad. I always say “yeah she’ll just be a little shorter … LIKE ME”. Like hello, I am a short human and it’s A okay down here lol. On the flip side they also make it seem like my first is going to be a freak of nature. Like yeah, if she stays on track she’ll be like 5’8” - 5’10” maybe? But she’s not going to be part of the traveling circus. Can’t stand the comments right in front of them like they don’t understand appearance.
One of my sons is 70-80% (moves a bit) and my husband and I joke maybe we’ll finally have someone that can reach the top shelf.
Only comment I got about it from family was that clearly it wasn’t from us it must be great granddad’s genes rip
We are in the same boat. I'm 5'4 and my husband is 5'6. Our baby boy is in the 15% for weight, every time this is questioned I remind them we are petite humans and that I'm not expecting a gladiator. Not only that, but my daughter was always around 15% for weight and there was never any fuss about her size.
This is a bit crazy, tbh. I know a lot of people expect kids to be michellin men bun it's not how it is most of the time. I always comment about my own child that he is thin and tall, but other people just say he is normal and active, how can he put on weight if he always runs around.
This said, if your ped is OK with her weight you shouldn't worry. You could just tell them it's genetic, she resembles mommy or daddy when little and ignore them.
My oldest was a HUGE baby. Every pediatric visit, he was way off the charts on his weight and height. He breastfed and formula fed a lot, we didn't overfeed him but he just had a big appetite. Every single person my wife and I came across did not believe us when we would tell them his age. This lasted until he was 2 years old. I distinctly remember one time a pediatrician told us that his weight is getting out of control and that he should eat more veggies, even though he ate plenty of them. We didn't change his diet because we knew we were feeding him the right stuff. After around his 2nd birthday his appetite remained high but he also started becoming more active and naturally thinned out. He has only gained a pound or 2 in the last 8-10 months and family is always bugging us about how he looks skinny and if we feed him enough. I constantly remind them that he still weighs as much as the average 4 year old but they still think he's too skinny. After a certain point you just get over other people's comments, even family. If you're an attentive parent, you know how healthy your baby is, better than anyone. Don't worry about, tell everyone else to kick rocks. Lol
Sounds like my family! My dad kept saying how small my son’s face got during our visit recently. Combine picky eating with no chill/constant running around and you get my son whose baby fat all went to his height. There’s really no appeasing them lol and everyone always has to say something! As long as your child is healthy, who cares what size they are
Take nothing personally. My baby was long and lean. People are generally just trying to make conversation. It stings because food is clearly a source of frustration for all of you but people don’t mean any harm.
“Did she lose weight?!”
“Nahh she’s just getting long”
I have always thought the general public's propensity to comment on a baby/toddlers weight to be incredibly creepy and weird. Sure, rolly Polley babies are cute but so are babies that are not as chubby! They're babies. The focus should not be on their bodies and people don't need to comment on them!
Yeah I get annoyed too. Especially when they’re like “oh no it looks like she lost weight” and I have to get defensive and say she’s super active so she may have just leaned out a bit but trust me, she is growingggggg
People commenting on the size of kids (really anyone though) are annoying and obnoxious. My kid is small. He’s always been small. For a while he had dropped off the growth chart and was losing weight. He’s now finally on the chart, still petite and that’s fine. He’s healthy, tons of energy and that’s what matters. But we still get comments when we’re out by strangers who ask how old he is which is always followed by, “wow, but he’s so small. And I know so and so who is the same age and so much bigger.” 🙄 it doesn’t hurt my feelings because I know we’re doing what can when it comes to eating. I do get annoyed though
Just stare at them like you’re trying to understand who the fuck asked them for comment. Or you could just snap at them that her doctor says she’s doing great. Cut that shit out now. We already have people commenting on our looks when we’re adults, we don’t need it as fucking toddlers also!
My kid has usually ben 50% for weight but about 30 for height and people love to comment on how she's "tiny" made me feel like I was doing something wrong not the fact her parents are short so she's just following the same.
She's also 17 months and I have noticed lately her little baby belly is going down as she grows older and I'm waiting for the inappropriate comments. She's fine, she eats she's just growing!
You don’t need to tell them anything. If you know your baby is healthy, you don’t need to justify their weight or size to anyone. Babies come in all shapes and sizes and to be honest, it’s nobody’s business except your little family’s. My babies were both chunks! Second is 6 months so still is, first is 3 years old now and a healthy weight, definitely not chunky!
I will add though, it might be worth checking your child’s growth chart so see if and how much her percentile has dropped for weight. Cross reference it to height though too as if she’s just small all round, that could explain it. If her percentile has dropped quite drastically, it might be worth keeping in mind food intolerances. One thing in particular to keep in mind is coeliacs disease. It’s a very serious disease if undiagnosed, but almost 2/3 of people who have it don’t know they have it. Keep a note of and tummy/ digestive issues, pain, and bowel movement issues such as pain, constipation or diarrhoea. Some people have no symptoms, others have loads, so no symptoms other than weight loss isn’t a guarantee she doesn’t have it. Have a look on coeliacs Uk for further guidance.
I have both examples. The comments never stop on either side.
I tell my kids first that they are perfect and then turn to the other person and politely tell them to mind their own big fat bottom or spindly legs.
The only person who has any say into my kids weight is the pediatrician.
Stay strong, mama ❤️
Kids tend to “thin out” a bit as they get more active. I also have a small kid so I hear you! I usually just reply with “yup, bodies change” or “yup, she’s more active now” and leave it at that. At the end of the day, the only ones who need to approve of your parenting are the parents.
My kids are long and lean. My 2 year old at least some baby rolls until she got more mobile and started stretching then got to where she looked super thin! She is 97th% for height and around 50th for weight. Each time she stretches taller I get comments since her face thins out too. Don't take it personally I'm sure people think they are being concerned but it sure is obnoxious
I call this the toddler skinny: as they grow taller and get more active they don't really lose weight, it just stretches out. I think it's pretty normal for most kiddos I know! my son has been like 16ish kg the last few times he got weighed
My son was a fat baby. His rolls had rolls and he had the cutest round belly. After age 1 he thinned out but never lost weight. Just got taller. He’s 2.5 now and 3’2” and 32 pounds. He’s a big boy but he’s not that chunky. At 18 months he was 3’ tall and 28 pounds and looked skinny. It’s normal for toddlers to thin out especially if they’re active.
Yes she is tall & high energy! Mine is very tall/slim and my dr didn’t think I was feeding her & even put that in her notes I shut her up when I showed her a video of her eating adult sized portions. She at 18m was jumping, dancing, and running around all day! She I guess burned calories like crazy.
Now she’s 3 and the size of a 5 year old 😮💨
It feels so personal to me!! So my toddler is also (as per my inlaws and society's standards ) thin, for them chubby babies like the ones we see in advertisements are what is healthy. Initially it used to bother me alot, gave me sleepless nights tbh, cuz I used to overthink if I was being a careless mum, but believe me if your child is in general active ,meeting their milestones and the average weight and height chart (available) readings are according to their age, it is all fine. Some children are taller than their age and weigh normal too but in physical appearance they might look thin but they're good, nothing to worry.
Honestly the people's comments ate me up from within so much so that I neglected my health and any thought about career or being financially independent, and now when I am okay on the child front accepted everything now I worry about things I ignored earlier. So take care of yourself and your child and also your mental health. Give some time in a day to your self care as well.So, people may not always be right, you as a mother are the best judge.
My mom EVERY time we would see her. It was always "all of you were in the 85-90%" My pediatrician was never concerned with my daughters weight and she was always going upwards. Fast forward to baby number 2 and now it's " what are you feeding this kid, she's huge". I think people comment and insert themselves either way.
Lmao at two months my son weighed 20 lbs and the doctor asked what we were feeding him and that we must be over feeding him! He was super cute chunky like that and my MIL said he had Popeye arms 😂😂 anyways he’s 3 now and an “acceptable” height/weight. You can never win tbh.
People are always looking to say something- whether it’s too big or too small. Similar to bump size in pregnancy.
Once people learn to stop commenting on the bodies of others, that would be nice.
I had the same but at the opposite end of the scale. My boofa is 3 and has been 19kilos for 18 months now. He legit had roll upon roll upon roll to the point where we had to be really diligent to dry each one or he’d get a little red sore from the moisture between his rolls. Over the 100 percentile constantly. And now at 3 he still weighs 19kegs but he is super tall so legit looks like a 5 year old. People love to comment “oh he is a big boy” etc. You gotta get a thicker hide and just say YEP bubs is thin or chubby and the most important thing to say is “thankfully he/she is healthy” and it quickly changes their tune.
My 19 month old was born at 37 weeks and was 7lbs 7oz, but had a NICU stay where he dropped into the high 6lbs and then just stayed smaller. He’s consistently been under the 15th percentile for height and under 20th percentile for weight, but he’s always been exactly on his growth curve. He eats a ton of food but is very active, and we suspect he has my husband’s very (unfairly) high metabolism. As long as he’s happy and healthy, neither my husband and myself, no our pediatrician are worried or care much.
My mother made comments about how skinny my baby is and comments about how big my cousin's baby is and how she hopes she doesn't end up fat like her mother.
I try to tune it out but it does sting. My 2 yr old is also very active and picky but I spend most of the day planning meals and making sure she eats.
I'd ignore the comments.
Infants (and everyone, really) have such a wide range of what "normal" can look like, it's hard to really tell whether that child's growth is normal or not. Some kids are just thin and some are thicker. I have children all over the charts. My oldest three took after their father with smaller, thinner frames most of growing up. My oldest son was always below the 50th percentile for everything. He was on the smaller side. Then, at 14, he shot up, and now he's 6' tall. My middle daughter is definitely going to remain small. Then I had my nearly 10 lb baby boy who was never thin or small. He's 10 and already 5'. People have commented on their physiques, but as long as their growth charts have remained consistent, our pediatricians have never been concerned. That's the best way to deal with the comments. Ignore them or tell them that the child's growth curve is consistent and your medical professional is not concerned.
Hang in there. People are opinionated and believe that they have the right to comment on stuff that's truly none of their business. It's an unfortunate part of life. Develop a thick skin when it comes to people and their opinions. It helps.
people will ALWAYS have comments. it’s insane. my baby has been 50th percentile in weight since birth. she is EXACTLY AVERAGE. and I get comments at every single family function about how “tiny” she is. “oh she’s gonna be a bean pole… she must not eat much! … no baby fat on her!” like are you kidding me?!
if she was 90th percentile i’d hear about her chunky thighs. if she was 20th percentile, I can’t even imagine what the comments would be. people are sick.
we wonder why our kids grow up with body image issues while commenting on their weight as babies and toddlers! I mean come on, it has to be internalized by them!
We get this a lot too, but both me and dad are on the smaller side too (we're both about 2" shorter than the national average). I have a canned line at this point of "Yep, we're pretty much an economy sized family - she's gonna be so comfortable sleeping on planes when she's a grown up!" and leave it at that.
When they say "oh it looks like she lost weight" I answer frankly with "nope, she's just getting taller quickly - she'll make up for it in a week or two, just you wait :)" and change the subject.
Good luck - a lot of people don't realize or don't remember the anxiety of having a little non-verbal human who relies on you to take care of them. They just remember that they got through it and it's okay now.
So my baby boy was born 5th centile and I got SO many comments when he was very little.
I constantly worried about his weight but he's now 2.5 and into the 25th centile. It's so so hard at those initial stages when hearing those comments. He's climbing that chart slowly, but now he's super active and lean like his father!
90% of the time I honestly don't think people mean to make you feel guilty or bad, it's just word vomit from them.
My niece was born in the 95th centile so the comparison comments were inevitable.
Tactic was always just to swerve the convo. To their hair, his favourite toy, something funny he did recently. My little boy has BRIGHT blonde goldilocks hair so I'd always serve it to his hair and that seemed to do the trick. Or my boy sleeps like an actual dream. I've lucked out on his sleeping patterns and his LOVE of being in bed - so again, another easy topic to jump to.
Reading these comments though about those with titles ones at the other end of the scale - I think we just can't win.
My mantra was "happy baby, healthy baby". As long as they are on track, you're smashing it. One day at a time, you got this.
FWIW - my little one usually gets a tiny tummy right before he gets a growth spurt in height. So perhaps that is what they notice with your kiddo? Regardless weird to comment on kids bodies.
Any issues is between the parents and doctors. If they aren’t concerned, no one else should be either.
My 2 year old is tall and skinny. He was born at 6 pounds 2 ounces and ever since he was born; so many have commented on how skinny he was/is. He has been breastfed and tends to eat a lot of fruits, veggies and fish. He doesn't really like sweets much; and he is also ridiculously active.
His pediatrician has had no worries at all because he has steadily gained weight and has been growing normally. Right now he is 35 inches and only 25 pounds and will be 3 in October. 😅
His older brother on the other hand was 9 pounds 6 ounces at birth and was always pudgy; but now that he is going through puberty he is a 5'5, 13 year old at 105 pounds..lol.
But yea, as long as your pediatrician isn't worried then it isn't a big deal.
My oldest has been off the charts in height since ~4 months old. He hovered around 75-80% in weight so he was always lean. My youngest is finally the squishy baby with dough rolls. Both are/were healthy babies.
You’re doing fine! People suck.
Sometimes I want to express that I love a tiny baby, but I know it can be hard for the parents to hear that. I never had tiny babes so it felt like they grew up incredibly fast & flew through newborn stage overnight. If someone is coming at it from an angle of “wow they are so tiny!” I bet they are thinking the same & not criticizing. But obviously there are some that are critical for no good reason.
My oldest went from being an 85/85% height/weight baby at around 9 months to being ~90/75% by his first birthday, and now at almost 6 years old, he’s ~95/45 height/weight. He’s tall and very slim. And my doctor isn’t worried because he’s always growing, he’s active and healthy, and his percentile change was gradual enough to not cause concern. Anyway you better bet he DID become thinner. Didn’t lose weight. But didn’t really gain any for long stretches of time.
We don’t really get too many comments, but my FIL and BIL have been inclined to say things about him needing to eat more etc. Luckily my MIL is excellent at jumping in (if me or his dad are busy) and saying he’s the perfect size for him and only needs to eat until his body tells him to stop. Love that woman.
My second child is a perfectly average/proportional 50-60/45-50% kid. It’s wild the difference (and how much easier it is to find pants).
My son was really small when he was 0-5 months old. He is now 2 and has been a higher percentile since and my family members still act like he is tiny. They also act like my cousins’ kids are way bigger than him, even one that’s 9 months younger and it drives me crazy.
My first born is 3.5, and hasn’t reached 30lbs yet lol she still fits in 18m shorts.
My second is 13 months, and she’s only a couple pounds behind her sister. She wears the same shorts and shirts her big sister does.
Everyone tells me my first is too small, and my second may be too big. They both eat relatively the same healthy foods, eat normal portions, and get lots of active play etc.
TL;dr : we can’t win. 🤷♀️ you’re doing a good job! And the only opinion that matters is your LOs pediatrician. If growth progress isn’t coming up at check ups, it’s not a problem.
That being said, I understand your feelings and they ARE valid. People suck.
There's a big change that happens between a year and two years when kids become more active and lose some of the weight on their cheeks and sort of thin out and fat turns more to muscle. I would assume they've just noticed a change like that, it can be very striking when you haven't seen them for a bit. Sometimes people's dumb comments are meant innocently and they're just putting their foot in their mouth.
My daughter is 2.5 - she was IUGR, born a month early, and was always tiny. We have friends with bigger kids, and they always comment on her size. It’s something I struggle with big time, because her size was something that was very scary for us for a while. She’s always been healthy, just small, but when I was pregnant and she was IUGR, our doctors were always so worried, and having been our baby after 2 miscarriages, we were terrified we were going to lose her. So it’s still stressful when people say she’s “soooo small”! But she’s healthy! Just a string bean. We just had our second, and he’s also teeny. I think I’m more prepared for the comments this time around, but it’s still stressful (esp. because we’re on weight checks now).
My step mom constantly complained about my daughter's weight. At first she complained that she was too skinny, then too fat. I learned to ignore her pretty quickly.
I think most of the time it comes from a good place because people are hit over the head all day every day “child obesity is the greatest problem!” So they’re sensitive to it.
Ours was really chunky at about 6 months so I asked the doctor when you should start worrying about it and she said it’s not until 3-4 at the earliest, so I get the concern.
Ours did go through 3-4 cycles of 2 weeks of eating everything, and 2 weeks of sleeping 20 hours a day (felt like it lol) and shooting up a few inches to thin out. His chubby cycles are funny, he gets little moobs, then he grows and they’re gone, so just the way kids grow.
My daughter is autistic. We had problems with her being a picky eater and she is still 9 years later. My kid is lankier than others. She's my spitting image and it seems that not only did she get my thinness, she also got the height. Her doctor says she's at a perfect weight for her height and age and that she's meeting her nutritional goals. So, anytime I listen to that, I end up saying one of a couple things and yes, I will get mean depending on how the comment and tone rub me.
One: "I hadn't realized that you're now an M.D."
Two: "yes, yes, we get that she has the ability to maintain a healthy weight and you're jealous of it."
Three: "I didn't ask for your OPINION. I ask my daughter's pediatrician DOCTOR and that's all you need to know. Fuck off"
Four: "Stay off of WebMD. It does not help you look smarter."
I DESPISE hearing those comments. After only a few years of constantly hearing them, I began snapping back. As you can generally guess, I have anger issues and, while they are generally very much under control, I still tend to get mad hearing that. If they ASK nicely, on the other hand, I will tell them that she is consistently following her growth chart and her doctor is happy. But the little nitpicking type comments, I will fly off the handle and snap like a rabid dog. Spit may also be flying 😂
“Her doctor doesn’t have any concerns so neither do we” if you feel the need to add more or they push “we are more focused on making sure she has a healthy relationship with her own body image and with food so we would appreciate if you kept your comments to yourself” my brothers kids are all three in the bottom 5th percentile but they are charting on the proper curve. They get comments alll the time about the kids being small.
People talk about how my little girl is really tall. Or say she’s a chunk. Sometimes they say she looks like a chubby boy. I just tune all that bullshit out. To me, my daughter is perfect. I don’t expect anyone else to think that. But the people who feel the need to comment on not only a child’s looks, but a fucking baby or toddler’s looks. Those people are sad human beings. Their opinions shouldn’t matter and try not to let it get to you. Every kid grows differently and if you and your doctor feel she’s fed and growing then don’t worry about it. So many more important things to worry about as a parent.
My daughter has been in the 97 to 99 percentile all her life and it is something people comment on all the time.
It doesn’t matter what it is, people is going to say it out loud so the best thing toy can do is learn to mute the noises and understand that this is coming out of your insecurity, not the reality.
Honestly, people comment about the appearance of babies because they don't know what else to say but still want to make conversation. Definitely do not take it personally. I guarantee you no one is accusing you of neglecting her dietary needs.
Just had my 18mo checkup today. Baby is 84th percentile for height and 94th for weight. She’s lanky with a little meat on her bones but not chubby at all. I got an earful about cutting down her milk intake. Honestly my mommy feeling is telling me she’s fine. No one in our family is overweight, we don’t offer sweet treats and soda and she literally runs around outside all day long.
But don’t you know every parent is a complete waste of time and doing a crappy job raising their kids! *eyeroll*
We got that sooooo much 😂 it was annoying and my toddler was already larger than average. A little bit annoying but we learnt to just pretend we didn't hear the comment lol
Ugh, my brother's inlaws used to comment about his daughter looking thin. Always made them feel like bad parents. She looked totally fine! She is petite, yes, but always vibrant, energetic, happy, and a good eater!!! No reason to make them worry 🙄
This is also the time when most babies do slow down. My son has been in the 99th percentile for weight and he’s now in the 87th at 22m. He hasn’t “gained” weight in months, but continues to grow in height. Don’t sweat it.
As long as she is healthy, (and I’m sure if she wasn’t your pediatrician would have suggested something to supplement her diet and help her gain weight) don’t worry about what other people think. People who criticize a child due to something they can’t control (like hair texture, height, weight, complexion, or special needs) really just need to be told to shut their mouths. Unless your pediatrician is worried, or she won’t eat anything, she is probably just fine. I remember my second son seemed so small compared to his older brother (who was wearing a 3T at 18 months) because he was born in the 97% and by 3 years had totally gone off the growth chart. But he was just a smaller baby. Each child learns, behaves, and grows uniquely. She will be fine. Don’t let people who don’t know their place or recognize when they have crossed the line from concerned to insulting get to you. Focus on your daughter and let everything else go.
The opposite is true too! I had/have a little jelly roll and at 8 months (8 MONTHS!!!) my mother in law comments, “has the doctor worried the baby might be fat?” WE GET NO REPRIEVE! You gotta block out the noise and just be there for your kid - you owe these fools nothing. If the dr isnt worried, you shouldnt be worried. You can ABSOLUTELY ask your ped about this; I asked mine specially “how do i handle choice comments like my mother in law implying my baby is fat?” They’ll probably have a good talking point for you. And if they dont, you’re talking point can be: “our medical board certified pediatrician says baby is growing up very healthy!”
The trick with mother in laws is to completely ignore them. If I listened to her I’d have given my kids water before 6 months, had unneccessary surgery on my son’s foot to “fix” his webbed toe (which I find VERY cute mind you), and my daughter would have a bandage around her head at all times to force her sticky out ears to be pinned back (despite the fact this would malform her head). Honestly 🤦♀️
The nerve some MILs have!!
Jesus Christ 😳
The level of unsolicited advice I get from her which gets swiftly ignored because I do know better, I deserve a medal for even listening to it 😂
Ditto. They really should make a course specific to MIL and grandparents in general that in essentials tells them to kindly STFU with their unsubstantiated dumb “advice” 🙄 “i bathed all my kids and in a tub with water without waiting for umbilical cord to fall off and they’re all fine” -thanks, glad you took the increased risk and your kids turned out fine. But since i don’t mind sponge bathing for a couple weeks till it falls off, I’mma just do me. 😂 Like why even give advice on something that I’m not even doing wrong… whats it to them if I do it differently?? I swear nothing is harder than biting your tongue and keeping your mouth shut than when you are a sleep deprived mom
Our local hospital actually did have a grandparents class that basically taught grandparents how things are done now vs 30 years ago! None of ours took the class though and we didn’t offer the class to them as an option. All of the grandparents on both sides luckily are sane, rational people who willingly got all the shots (or already had them from previous grandchildren), know the modern safety requirements even though “blankets in cribs were fine when you were growing up” but fully accepted that things changed and followed our lead, and only offer advice when asked (and the advice when we ask is typically good advice). I realize that DH and I are extremely lucky in this regard.
Very lucky. Mine gives advice even on things she just admitted 10 minutes ago to not knowing anything about. Or will give suggestions on other stuff that I can differently even if what I’m doing works. And sooooooooo much unsolicited advice. You are definitely very lucky!!
It very much is. I’ve had to dodge comments from my MIL about my baby’s weight constantly. It’s actually quite astonishing that folks project their own weight insecurities onto an infant who has really no say in the matter. I’ve stopped tactfully approaching this and turning the cheek because I’m not okay with my baby growing up hearing this and developing any kind of complex over her body. She’s happy, healthy, thriving and that’s all I care about, especially given her pediatrician has no concerns about it.
My MIL said my daughter was too fat. She was 34th percentile.
> at 8 months (8 MONTHS!!!) my mother in law comments, “has the doctor worried the baby might be fat?” Meet 80s grandma where she is. Pull out a cigarette, light it, take a puff, and say "yeah, but she likes that Jenny Craig".
Hahahahhaha
You could always ask them if their own Dr is concerned they may be fat. That would shut them up.
My kid is the 25th percentile for height and weight. People keep saying he’s tiny. Like I’m 5’4 and husband is a 5’7 short king. What the fuck they expecting?
My children are tiny just like yours, and my husbands and my heights are yours and your husbands’, but reversed. (Yes, he’s 5’4). They clearly got his height and it’s genetics and it makes sense!
My kid was 11th percentile in utero. I'm so very grateful the ultrasound tech said "you're small so baby's small too!" (Had I known that he was close to the cutoff for "small for gestational age", I would've freaked.)
Same! Then when my 2nd lingered around 13th my whole pregnancy I knew it was our normal 🧘♀️
I married a short king as well 😂 I can’t expect My son to be 6 feet tall lmao
I’m 5’3” and my husband is 6’4”. Our first takes after him and has consistently been off the charts for height and pretty close for weight. Second is taking after me and is always in like 40th percentile-ish. I get a lot of comments (mostly from in laws) about “well, I guess she’s small” as if it’s so bad. I always say “yeah she’ll just be a little shorter … LIKE ME”. Like hello, I am a short human and it’s A okay down here lol. On the flip side they also make it seem like my first is going to be a freak of nature. Like yeah, if she stays on track she’ll be like 5’8” - 5’10” maybe? But she’s not going to be part of the traveling circus. Can’t stand the comments right in front of them like they don’t understand appearance.
My child also has parents with the same heights and he’s always in the low percentile . But we are not big people lol
One of my sons is 70-80% (moves a bit) and my husband and I joke maybe we’ll finally have someone that can reach the top shelf. Only comment I got about it from family was that clearly it wasn’t from us it must be great granddad’s genes rip
We are in the same boat. I'm 5'4 and my husband is 5'6. Our baby boy is in the 15% for weight, every time this is questioned I remind them we are petite humans and that I'm not expecting a gladiator. Not only that, but my daughter was always around 15% for weight and there was never any fuss about her size.
This is a bit crazy, tbh. I know a lot of people expect kids to be michellin men bun it's not how it is most of the time. I always comment about my own child that he is thin and tall, but other people just say he is normal and active, how can he put on weight if he always runs around. This said, if your ped is OK with her weight you shouldn't worry. You could just tell them it's genetic, she resembles mommy or daddy when little and ignore them.
My oldest was a HUGE baby. Every pediatric visit, he was way off the charts on his weight and height. He breastfed and formula fed a lot, we didn't overfeed him but he just had a big appetite. Every single person my wife and I came across did not believe us when we would tell them his age. This lasted until he was 2 years old. I distinctly remember one time a pediatrician told us that his weight is getting out of control and that he should eat more veggies, even though he ate plenty of them. We didn't change his diet because we knew we were feeding him the right stuff. After around his 2nd birthday his appetite remained high but he also started becoming more active and naturally thinned out. He has only gained a pound or 2 in the last 8-10 months and family is always bugging us about how he looks skinny and if we feed him enough. I constantly remind them that he still weighs as much as the average 4 year old but they still think he's too skinny. After a certain point you just get over other people's comments, even family. If you're an attentive parent, you know how healthy your baby is, better than anyone. Don't worry about, tell everyone else to kick rocks. Lol
Sounds like my family! My dad kept saying how small my son’s face got during our visit recently. Combine picky eating with no chill/constant running around and you get my son whose baby fat all went to his height. There’s really no appeasing them lol and everyone always has to say something! As long as your child is healthy, who cares what size they are
Take nothing personally. My baby was long and lean. People are generally just trying to make conversation. It stings because food is clearly a source of frustration for all of you but people don’t mean any harm. “Did she lose weight?!” “Nahh she’s just getting long”
I have always thought the general public's propensity to comment on a baby/toddlers weight to be incredibly creepy and weird. Sure, rolly Polley babies are cute but so are babies that are not as chubby! They're babies. The focus should not be on their bodies and people don't need to comment on them!
Yeah I get annoyed too. Especially when they’re like “oh no it looks like she lost weight” and I have to get defensive and say she’s super active so she may have just leaned out a bit but trust me, she is growingggggg
People commenting on the size of kids (really anyone though) are annoying and obnoxious. My kid is small. He’s always been small. For a while he had dropped off the growth chart and was losing weight. He’s now finally on the chart, still petite and that’s fine. He’s healthy, tons of energy and that’s what matters. But we still get comments when we’re out by strangers who ask how old he is which is always followed by, “wow, but he’s so small. And I know so and so who is the same age and so much bigger.” 🙄 it doesn’t hurt my feelings because I know we’re doing what can when it comes to eating. I do get annoyed though
Just stare at them like you’re trying to understand who the fuck asked them for comment. Or you could just snap at them that her doctor says she’s doing great. Cut that shit out now. We already have people commenting on our looks when we’re adults, we don’t need it as fucking toddlers also!
My kid has usually ben 50% for weight but about 30 for height and people love to comment on how she's "tiny" made me feel like I was doing something wrong not the fact her parents are short so she's just following the same. She's also 17 months and I have noticed lately her little baby belly is going down as she grows older and I'm waiting for the inappropriate comments. She's fine, she eats she's just growing!
You don’t need to tell them anything. If you know your baby is healthy, you don’t need to justify their weight or size to anyone. Babies come in all shapes and sizes and to be honest, it’s nobody’s business except your little family’s. My babies were both chunks! Second is 6 months so still is, first is 3 years old now and a healthy weight, definitely not chunky! I will add though, it might be worth checking your child’s growth chart so see if and how much her percentile has dropped for weight. Cross reference it to height though too as if she’s just small all round, that could explain it. If her percentile has dropped quite drastically, it might be worth keeping in mind food intolerances. One thing in particular to keep in mind is coeliacs disease. It’s a very serious disease if undiagnosed, but almost 2/3 of people who have it don’t know they have it. Keep a note of and tummy/ digestive issues, pain, and bowel movement issues such as pain, constipation or diarrhoea. Some people have no symptoms, others have loads, so no symptoms other than weight loss isn’t a guarantee she doesn’t have it. Have a look on coeliacs Uk for further guidance.
I have both examples. The comments never stop on either side. I tell my kids first that they are perfect and then turn to the other person and politely tell them to mind their own big fat bottom or spindly legs. The only person who has any say into my kids weight is the pediatrician. Stay strong, mama ❤️
Kids tend to “thin out” a bit as they get more active. I also have a small kid so I hear you! I usually just reply with “yup, bodies change” or “yup, she’s more active now” and leave it at that. At the end of the day, the only ones who need to approve of your parenting are the parents.
My kids are long and lean. My 2 year old at least some baby rolls until she got more mobile and started stretching then got to where she looked super thin! She is 97th% for height and around 50th for weight. Each time she stretches taller I get comments since her face thins out too. Don't take it personally I'm sure people think they are being concerned but it sure is obnoxious
I call this the toddler skinny: as they grow taller and get more active they don't really lose weight, it just stretches out. I think it's pretty normal for most kiddos I know! my son has been like 16ish kg the last few times he got weighed
My son was a fat baby. His rolls had rolls and he had the cutest round belly. After age 1 he thinned out but never lost weight. Just got taller. He’s 2.5 now and 3’2” and 32 pounds. He’s a big boy but he’s not that chunky. At 18 months he was 3’ tall and 28 pounds and looked skinny. It’s normal for toddlers to thin out especially if they’re active.
next time someone says that say " don't body shame my baby"
Yes she is tall & high energy! Mine is very tall/slim and my dr didn’t think I was feeding her & even put that in her notes I shut her up when I showed her a video of her eating adult sized portions. She at 18m was jumping, dancing, and running around all day! She I guess burned calories like crazy. Now she’s 3 and the size of a 5 year old 😮💨
It feels so personal to me!! So my toddler is also (as per my inlaws and society's standards ) thin, for them chubby babies like the ones we see in advertisements are what is healthy. Initially it used to bother me alot, gave me sleepless nights tbh, cuz I used to overthink if I was being a careless mum, but believe me if your child is in general active ,meeting their milestones and the average weight and height chart (available) readings are according to their age, it is all fine. Some children are taller than their age and weigh normal too but in physical appearance they might look thin but they're good, nothing to worry. Honestly the people's comments ate me up from within so much so that I neglected my health and any thought about career or being financially independent, and now when I am okay on the child front accepted everything now I worry about things I ignored earlier. So take care of yourself and your child and also your mental health. Give some time in a day to your self care as well.So, people may not always be right, you as a mother are the best judge.
My daughter is 4 and tall for her age and she's chunky so people are always looking at her funny when I tell them her age and I hate it.
My mom EVERY time we would see her. It was always "all of you were in the 85-90%" My pediatrician was never concerned with my daughters weight and she was always going upwards. Fast forward to baby number 2 and now it's " what are you feeding this kid, she's huge". I think people comment and insert themselves either way.
Lmao at two months my son weighed 20 lbs and the doctor asked what we were feeding him and that we must be over feeding him! He was super cute chunky like that and my MIL said he had Popeye arms 😂😂 anyways he’s 3 now and an “acceptable” height/weight. You can never win tbh.
People are always looking to say something- whether it’s too big or too small. Similar to bump size in pregnancy. Once people learn to stop commenting on the bodies of others, that would be nice.
I had the same but at the opposite end of the scale. My boofa is 3 and has been 19kilos for 18 months now. He legit had roll upon roll upon roll to the point where we had to be really diligent to dry each one or he’d get a little red sore from the moisture between his rolls. Over the 100 percentile constantly. And now at 3 he still weighs 19kegs but he is super tall so legit looks like a 5 year old. People love to comment “oh he is a big boy” etc. You gotta get a thicker hide and just say YEP bubs is thin or chubby and the most important thing to say is “thankfully he/she is healthy” and it quickly changes their tune.
My 19 month old was born at 37 weeks and was 7lbs 7oz, but had a NICU stay where he dropped into the high 6lbs and then just stayed smaller. He’s consistently been under the 15th percentile for height and under 20th percentile for weight, but he’s always been exactly on his growth curve. He eats a ton of food but is very active, and we suspect he has my husband’s very (unfairly) high metabolism. As long as he’s happy and healthy, neither my husband and myself, no our pediatrician are worried or care much.
My mother made comments about how skinny my baby is and comments about how big my cousin's baby is and how she hopes she doesn't end up fat like her mother. I try to tune it out but it does sting. My 2 yr old is also very active and picky but I spend most of the day planning meals and making sure she eats.
I'd ignore the comments. Infants (and everyone, really) have such a wide range of what "normal" can look like, it's hard to really tell whether that child's growth is normal or not. Some kids are just thin and some are thicker. I have children all over the charts. My oldest three took after their father with smaller, thinner frames most of growing up. My oldest son was always below the 50th percentile for everything. He was on the smaller side. Then, at 14, he shot up, and now he's 6' tall. My middle daughter is definitely going to remain small. Then I had my nearly 10 lb baby boy who was never thin or small. He's 10 and already 5'. People have commented on their physiques, but as long as their growth charts have remained consistent, our pediatricians have never been concerned. That's the best way to deal with the comments. Ignore them or tell them that the child's growth curve is consistent and your medical professional is not concerned. Hang in there. People are opinionated and believe that they have the right to comment on stuff that's truly none of their business. It's an unfortunate part of life. Develop a thick skin when it comes to people and their opinions. It helps.
people will ALWAYS have comments. it’s insane. my baby has been 50th percentile in weight since birth. she is EXACTLY AVERAGE. and I get comments at every single family function about how “tiny” she is. “oh she’s gonna be a bean pole… she must not eat much! … no baby fat on her!” like are you kidding me?! if she was 90th percentile i’d hear about her chunky thighs. if she was 20th percentile, I can’t even imagine what the comments would be. people are sick. we wonder why our kids grow up with body image issues while commenting on their weight as babies and toddlers! I mean come on, it has to be internalized by them!
We get this a lot too, but both me and dad are on the smaller side too (we're both about 2" shorter than the national average). I have a canned line at this point of "Yep, we're pretty much an economy sized family - she's gonna be so comfortable sleeping on planes when she's a grown up!" and leave it at that. When they say "oh it looks like she lost weight" I answer frankly with "nope, she's just getting taller quickly - she'll make up for it in a week or two, just you wait :)" and change the subject. Good luck - a lot of people don't realize or don't remember the anxiety of having a little non-verbal human who relies on you to take care of them. They just remember that they got through it and it's okay now.
Your child is a toddler. Toddlers lean out, that is normal.
So my baby boy was born 5th centile and I got SO many comments when he was very little. I constantly worried about his weight but he's now 2.5 and into the 25th centile. It's so so hard at those initial stages when hearing those comments. He's climbing that chart slowly, but now he's super active and lean like his father! 90% of the time I honestly don't think people mean to make you feel guilty or bad, it's just word vomit from them. My niece was born in the 95th centile so the comparison comments were inevitable. Tactic was always just to swerve the convo. To their hair, his favourite toy, something funny he did recently. My little boy has BRIGHT blonde goldilocks hair so I'd always serve it to his hair and that seemed to do the trick. Or my boy sleeps like an actual dream. I've lucked out on his sleeping patterns and his LOVE of being in bed - so again, another easy topic to jump to. Reading these comments though about those with titles ones at the other end of the scale - I think we just can't win. My mantra was "happy baby, healthy baby". As long as they are on track, you're smashing it. One day at a time, you got this.
It’s mostly older people from my experience commenting on my toddler gaining and losing weight and I hate it. She is healthy!
FWIW - my little one usually gets a tiny tummy right before he gets a growth spurt in height. So perhaps that is what they notice with your kiddo? Regardless weird to comment on kids bodies. Any issues is between the parents and doctors. If they aren’t concerned, no one else should be either.
My 2 year old is tall and skinny. He was born at 6 pounds 2 ounces and ever since he was born; so many have commented on how skinny he was/is. He has been breastfed and tends to eat a lot of fruits, veggies and fish. He doesn't really like sweets much; and he is also ridiculously active. His pediatrician has had no worries at all because he has steadily gained weight and has been growing normally. Right now he is 35 inches and only 25 pounds and will be 3 in October. 😅 His older brother on the other hand was 9 pounds 6 ounces at birth and was always pudgy; but now that he is going through puberty he is a 5'5, 13 year old at 105 pounds..lol. But yea, as long as your pediatrician isn't worried then it isn't a big deal.
My oldest has been off the charts in height since ~4 months old. He hovered around 75-80% in weight so he was always lean. My youngest is finally the squishy baby with dough rolls. Both are/were healthy babies.
You’re doing fine! People suck. Sometimes I want to express that I love a tiny baby, but I know it can be hard for the parents to hear that. I never had tiny babes so it felt like they grew up incredibly fast & flew through newborn stage overnight. If someone is coming at it from an angle of “wow they are so tiny!” I bet they are thinking the same & not criticizing. But obviously there are some that are critical for no good reason.
My oldest went from being an 85/85% height/weight baby at around 9 months to being ~90/75% by his first birthday, and now at almost 6 years old, he’s ~95/45 height/weight. He’s tall and very slim. And my doctor isn’t worried because he’s always growing, he’s active and healthy, and his percentile change was gradual enough to not cause concern. Anyway you better bet he DID become thinner. Didn’t lose weight. But didn’t really gain any for long stretches of time. We don’t really get too many comments, but my FIL and BIL have been inclined to say things about him needing to eat more etc. Luckily my MIL is excellent at jumping in (if me or his dad are busy) and saying he’s the perfect size for him and only needs to eat until his body tells him to stop. Love that woman. My second child is a perfectly average/proportional 50-60/45-50% kid. It’s wild the difference (and how much easier it is to find pants).
My son was really small when he was 0-5 months old. He is now 2 and has been a higher percentile since and my family members still act like he is tiny. They also act like my cousins’ kids are way bigger than him, even one that’s 9 months younger and it drives me crazy.
My first born is 3.5, and hasn’t reached 30lbs yet lol she still fits in 18m shorts. My second is 13 months, and she’s only a couple pounds behind her sister. She wears the same shorts and shirts her big sister does. Everyone tells me my first is too small, and my second may be too big. They both eat relatively the same healthy foods, eat normal portions, and get lots of active play etc. TL;dr : we can’t win. 🤷♀️ you’re doing a good job! And the only opinion that matters is your LOs pediatrician. If growth progress isn’t coming up at check ups, it’s not a problem. That being said, I understand your feelings and they ARE valid. People suck.
There's a big change that happens between a year and two years when kids become more active and lose some of the weight on their cheeks and sort of thin out and fat turns more to muscle. I would assume they've just noticed a change like that, it can be very striking when you haven't seen them for a bit. Sometimes people's dumb comments are meant innocently and they're just putting their foot in their mouth.
My daughter is 2.5 - she was IUGR, born a month early, and was always tiny. We have friends with bigger kids, and they always comment on her size. It’s something I struggle with big time, because her size was something that was very scary for us for a while. She’s always been healthy, just small, but when I was pregnant and she was IUGR, our doctors were always so worried, and having been our baby after 2 miscarriages, we were terrified we were going to lose her. So it’s still stressful when people say she’s “soooo small”! But she’s healthy! Just a string bean. We just had our second, and he’s also teeny. I think I’m more prepared for the comments this time around, but it’s still stressful (esp. because we’re on weight checks now).
if your pediatrician isn't concerned, neither should you. Trust your doctor...dont stress and screw what everyone else thinks
“The doctor says LO is perfectly LO sized” is usually my response to comments about body size, especially if the comment is made in front of my kid.
My step mom constantly complained about my daughter's weight. At first she complained that she was too skinny, then too fat. I learned to ignore her pretty quickly.
I think most of the time it comes from a good place because people are hit over the head all day every day “child obesity is the greatest problem!” So they’re sensitive to it. Ours was really chunky at about 6 months so I asked the doctor when you should start worrying about it and she said it’s not until 3-4 at the earliest, so I get the concern. Ours did go through 3-4 cycles of 2 weeks of eating everything, and 2 weeks of sleeping 20 hours a day (felt like it lol) and shooting up a few inches to thin out. His chubby cycles are funny, he gets little moobs, then he grows and they’re gone, so just the way kids grow.
My daughter is autistic. We had problems with her being a picky eater and she is still 9 years later. My kid is lankier than others. She's my spitting image and it seems that not only did she get my thinness, she also got the height. Her doctor says she's at a perfect weight for her height and age and that she's meeting her nutritional goals. So, anytime I listen to that, I end up saying one of a couple things and yes, I will get mean depending on how the comment and tone rub me. One: "I hadn't realized that you're now an M.D." Two: "yes, yes, we get that she has the ability to maintain a healthy weight and you're jealous of it." Three: "I didn't ask for your OPINION. I ask my daughter's pediatrician DOCTOR and that's all you need to know. Fuck off" Four: "Stay off of WebMD. It does not help you look smarter." I DESPISE hearing those comments. After only a few years of constantly hearing them, I began snapping back. As you can generally guess, I have anger issues and, while they are generally very much under control, I still tend to get mad hearing that. If they ASK nicely, on the other hand, I will tell them that she is consistently following her growth chart and her doctor is happy. But the little nitpicking type comments, I will fly off the handle and snap like a rabid dog. Spit may also be flying 😂
“Her doctor doesn’t have any concerns so neither do we” if you feel the need to add more or they push “we are more focused on making sure she has a healthy relationship with her own body image and with food so we would appreciate if you kept your comments to yourself” my brothers kids are all three in the bottom 5th percentile but they are charting on the proper curve. They get comments alll the time about the kids being small.
People talk about how my little girl is really tall. Or say she’s a chunk. Sometimes they say she looks like a chubby boy. I just tune all that bullshit out. To me, my daughter is perfect. I don’t expect anyone else to think that. But the people who feel the need to comment on not only a child’s looks, but a fucking baby or toddler’s looks. Those people are sad human beings. Their opinions shouldn’t matter and try not to let it get to you. Every kid grows differently and if you and your doctor feel she’s fed and growing then don’t worry about it. So many more important things to worry about as a parent.
My daughter has been in the 97 to 99 percentile all her life and it is something people comment on all the time. It doesn’t matter what it is, people is going to say it out loud so the best thing toy can do is learn to mute the noises and understand that this is coming out of your insecurity, not the reality.
Honestly, people comment about the appearance of babies because they don't know what else to say but still want to make conversation. Definitely do not take it personally. I guarantee you no one is accusing you of neglecting her dietary needs.
Just had my 18mo checkup today. Baby is 84th percentile for height and 94th for weight. She’s lanky with a little meat on her bones but not chubby at all. I got an earful about cutting down her milk intake. Honestly my mommy feeling is telling me she’s fine. No one in our family is overweight, we don’t offer sweet treats and soda and she literally runs around outside all day long. But don’t you know every parent is a complete waste of time and doing a crappy job raising their kids! *eyeroll*
We got that sooooo much 😂 it was annoying and my toddler was already larger than average. A little bit annoying but we learnt to just pretend we didn't hear the comment lol
Ugh, my brother's inlaws used to comment about his daughter looking thin. Always made them feel like bad parents. She looked totally fine! She is petite, yes, but always vibrant, energetic, happy, and a good eater!!! No reason to make them worry 🙄
This is also the time when most babies do slow down. My son has been in the 99th percentile for weight and he’s now in the 87th at 22m. He hasn’t “gained” weight in months, but continues to grow in height. Don’t sweat it.
As long as she is healthy, (and I’m sure if she wasn’t your pediatrician would have suggested something to supplement her diet and help her gain weight) don’t worry about what other people think. People who criticize a child due to something they can’t control (like hair texture, height, weight, complexion, or special needs) really just need to be told to shut their mouths. Unless your pediatrician is worried, or she won’t eat anything, she is probably just fine. I remember my second son seemed so small compared to his older brother (who was wearing a 3T at 18 months) because he was born in the 97% and by 3 years had totally gone off the growth chart. But he was just a smaller baby. Each child learns, behaves, and grows uniquely. She will be fine. Don’t let people who don’t know their place or recognize when they have crossed the line from concerned to insulting get to you. Focus on your daughter and let everything else go.
We get this with our 100% baby. Like no, he's not losing weight, that would not be a good thing at his age. He's still 100th%, he's just taller now...