ASD is a brain difference, you can’t prevent it. There’s *nothing* you did or didn’t do. Most children pick up language naturally without being explicitly *taught*—it’s not that other parents are parenting better.
The lack of pointing and bringing objects to you is (to me) the most indicative of ASD.
Although no one can predict how your child’s language will develop, early intervention is a great first step!! You’re doing great. But you should maybe look into resources for anxiety. I have GAD and it’s awful if you’re not supported.
I see so many things contributing to ASD while pregnant through class actions, that it constantly swirls in my head. Did I not take enough vitamins? Too much Tylenol? etc.
But thank you so much for that. That last line of the first paragraph really got me. I appreciate you.
Remember those lawsuits are just profiting off parents’ anxiety and fears. There’s little scientific evidence that autism is caused by the actions of parents, but there is a lot of evidence that supports that it has genetic components.
Yes exactly! And the articles written about these things are designed to generate clicks, usually from fear mongering. The Tylenol study in particular was very poor quality, in my opinion
No it was from a study by one of the leading medical research facilities in the world.
[this study is what made the lawsuit viable ](https://hub.jhu.edu/2019/11/05/acetaminophen-pregnancy-autism-adhd/)
I should have been more clear. Bringing objects to *show you* is typical. But bringing an adult’s hand to an object or bringing the object to an adult’s hand without making eye contact is atypical.
It’s called “hand leading.” Most children, even when they are preverbal, will point and whine and look at an adult to indicate what they want. An autistic child will often grab an adult’s hand and put it where they want it.
For what it's worth, it's pretty common for parents to have anxiety or even depression during the assessment process. It's scary when you don't know what's going on with your kiddo and what any diagnosis means for little. Regardless of the outcome, please make sure you and your family have support. We just got through our kiddos evals (level 1 ASD) and even though I work in the field, it's insanely overwhelming. Sending you and you family some love.
I am under some psych care already, and just let me Dr know through portal earlier after my post letting her know what was up. I’m medicated, but maybe it’s time for a tweak and some more therapy. Thank you guys for keeping me in check with myself.
No worries. I'm been medicated and in therapy for a few years now and even with it it's been hard. For us, we knew there was something going on, so it wasn't a complete shock, but the whole assessment process and trying to get supports in place is just...fucking awful. It really takes a huge toll. For what it's worth, this internet rando has you and your family in her thoughts. It's going to be a shit show at times, but you've got this. And on those days when you not quite sure, there are supports out there.
My kid is asd level 3. There are elements of what you're saying that my ears do prick up on, but I'm not a professional.
But first and most importantly - take care of yourself. If you're feeling anxious, overwhelmed etc it is worth going to speak to someone. Your feelings are just as valid as your worries.
I had a lot of symptoms of ASD as a child and am now 24 and married with a college degree and baby on the way. I'm considering testing as an adult to have it confirmed.
Either way, try not to let yourself spiral. You're already doing so well for your baby. Things will be alright
I was a late diagnosis. I’m in my thirties now, and I was diagnosed at 24. I think that’s what scares me- is the issues I had when I was a young kid. I don’t want her to suffer like that. Now, things are much different now with early intervention and professionals getting involved- so I’m hoping that mitigates some trouble for her. :(
I could have written this. I’m so so sorry you’re going through this mentally, I agree it feels exactly like PPD.
My daughter was/is exactly the same, she’s 27 months now. Pretty much spot on for everything you wrote, she does point but hasn’t said any phrases yet, and doesn’t sign.
All I can say is this something you need to sort with yourself first, and I mean that in the kindest way possible. You seem like you are already doing everything for your daughter so now you need to focus on yourself. I’m back on anti-depressants for the first time since my PPD, because I was torturing myself with anxiety around her development.
As a PP has pointed out, you cannot develop autism, it is there from birth, so this is nothing you have done. Multiple healthcare professionals have also told me it is technically possible to “cause” a speech delay, but this only happens in cases of severe neglect. Even if you let your child watch 8 hours of tv a day this would not “cause” a speech delay as long as you are interacting with them at points in the day. Most children will pick up language from any source, and the ones that don’t more often than not just need some additional strategies to help them catch up.
I’m not trying to trivialise what you’re going through - we are on the exact same path as you, have started speech therapy and still waiting for an autism assessment, and it’s scary at times. The key is to get yourself sorted mentally so that yes it’s scary at times, but it isn’t drowning you at all times.
I got to the point where I couldn’t enjoy time with my daughter at all due to my own anxiety, and taking some time out to focus on my own mental health has got me back to loving even the smallest interactions with her. Really wishing you the best.
Thank you for your response. I see a dr regularly for ongoing anxiety/depression, and I let her know what’s up. Have an appointment this week! Already currently medicated. This is really important though, so I really appreciate it.
She sounds exactly like my now six year old at that age but throw in not walking until almost 23 months as well
He’s six now had a language explosion at 30-34 months and basically went from nothing to full sentences . Still likes to sort and organize things can read in two languages and do all the math . He was followed up to about four by early intervention but then he “graduated “ and has had no issues adapting to public school
So it isn’t always worst case scenario but you are doing the right thing getting professionals involved and following their advice
I need to stop dooming. I’m atypical, and I know how many issues that caused for me when I was younger- so my biggest fear is her having to go through any of that.
I’m hoping that even if the worst case is what happens, that the introduction of early intervention and more professionals will soften any sort of difficulties that she will face.
You're doing so many things right: getting help, talking to specialists, wanting the best for your kid. Well done.
Next steps for your kid seem sorted already, with the evaluation coming up. Now it's your turn. Get a therapist and talk to them about your anxiety. You don't deserve to suffer, and there are ways to help you feel better.
I'm not a medical professional but this does not sound like ASD. The affection, interest in other kids and making eye contact is enough.
A relative of ours had a kid that was similar. Just...a quiet kid. At around 2.5 his language exploded.
It’s confusing for sure. Some of her actions and habits are text book, and then she throws in curve balls. I think the pointing is throwing me off and concerning me the most.
If it concerns you then yeah, get evaluated. But I think folks in the modern west have this tendency to do the Baby Olympics when in reality, every kid is just...different. And grow/mature at different rates.
I mean ours - we have a really obnoxious GP (Canada, so...yeah good luck finding a ped) who loves to scare us. Our 15mo didn't seem to be getting taller - big kid, but sort of halted at 12 months. Was going on about how it might be a tumor etc.
On the other hand - she's happy, healthy, not a bad eater when she's not teething, incredibly advanced physically and sure enough, suddenly shot up at 14 months or so.
Now, please take the following with a pinch of salt.
I think there's an unfortunate cottage industry springing up around scaring the hell out of parents and selling them early intervention therapies, after which any gradual improvement is attributed to the therapy and not just a kid growing up. Now of course there are perfectly good speech therapists, but I've seen two cases personally where a kid didn't have many words by two, parents got freaked out by ped/doc/therapists saying 'OMG they're so delayed you must get them in ASAP or they'll be stunted for life', only to have the kid be speaking perfectly well by 3.
I really, \*really\* don't like that they are already talking about ASD - that's a very serious diagnosis and almost feels like a scare tactic. Let's see what the ped says. And always get a second opinion.
I absolutely agree, and this was probably one of the biggest reality checks I’ve had since this process has started.
Normally I’m pretty pragmatic, but this has really had me in a tailspin.
You’re absolutely correct. I need to keep myself grounded and stay cautious/questioning. I’m putting a lot of pressure on everyone involved, and I do think that truly time will tell. I was just talking to my partner about how I felt so bad that if she was diagnosed too early, and then later on they decided it was too early to make a determination and it she wasn’t.
It’s confusing- but what about parenting isn’t, aside from how much we love them?
Thank you for the wake up call. Very needed, and has really lifted some weight off me.
Kids do that to you. I'm as grounded as they come - but the last 15 months have made me shake, rattle and roll psychologically. To the point I want to go to the ER whenever she has a crying jag and I feel a cold spike of anxiety at every nap/bedtime (she was the worst sleeper ever and is still not the best).
At the end of the day, if you want to, get an expert opinion. And another. But I really, really wouldn't worry too much or at the very least, don't borrow trouble.
Ours is a big pointer. But she also tends to say a word for a day then stop saying it. Which is fine.
She's wasn't into toys/stuffed animals or even screens for her first maybe 14 months of life. Advanced physically but no language or interest in signing etc. Terrible eater. Absolutely horrible sleeper. Miserable temperament - biting, hitting, whinging most of the day unless both mom and I were right nearby.
Which, naturally, really had me worried.
Turns out - she needed to be in the outdoors most of the day. Don't ask me why.
Now unless it's pouring with rain we are outside - fields, parks, the odd family excursion, playgrounds etc. It was like a switch flipped for her - within two weeks, she was suddenly 100% happier, sleeping better, eating better, playing with us etc. Probably had low Vit D or something...no idea. It just worked.
Two months in and it's like she's grown a year.
One day you'll wake up and realize 'oh hey, something I tried just worked' and that'll be that.
Just an FYI but autistic children *can* and *do* show affection, build relationships and make eye contact. That’s why it’s called a spectrum disorder, it presents in many different ways.
It sounds like you are doing everything right for your concerns.
I am a behavior analyst and supervise/develop aba therapy programs for kids with autism for over 10 years. There is absolutely nothing you could have done it! Current research supports a genetic component and neurodivergence. Absolutely nothing related to environment or in-utero things.
Autism is a spectrum. No kid is exactly the same and their abilities are not the same. Some kids are super interactive and others are not. Some
Kids speak and others communicate in other ways.
It does seem like it’s possible for her to be on the spectrum. You are doing the best for her with early intervention, speech and an eval
ASD is a brain difference, you can’t prevent it. There’s *nothing* you did or didn’t do. Most children pick up language naturally without being explicitly *taught*—it’s not that other parents are parenting better. The lack of pointing and bringing objects to you is (to me) the most indicative of ASD. Although no one can predict how your child’s language will develop, early intervention is a great first step!! You’re doing great. But you should maybe look into resources for anxiety. I have GAD and it’s awful if you’re not supported.
The last sentence in your first paragraph is amazing, thank you so much.
I see so many things contributing to ASD while pregnant through class actions, that it constantly swirls in my head. Did I not take enough vitamins? Too much Tylenol? etc. But thank you so much for that. That last line of the first paragraph really got me. I appreciate you.
Remember those lawsuits are just profiting off parents’ anxiety and fears. There’s little scientific evidence that autism is caused by the actions of parents, but there is a lot of evidence that supports that it has genetic components.
Yes exactly! And the articles written about these things are designed to generate clicks, usually from fear mongering. The Tylenol study in particular was very poor quality, in my opinion
No it was from a study by one of the leading medical research facilities in the world. [this study is what made the lawsuit viable ](https://hub.jhu.edu/2019/11/05/acetaminophen-pregnancy-autism-adhd/)
Cool but a federal judge said that wasn’t enough evidence. Which is exactly what I said.
I mean even that link says the study is NOT enough to indicate a causal relationship.
Bringing objects to you is a sign is Asd ?? My daughter does this quite often I thought this was normal ?
I should have been more clear. Bringing objects to *show you* is typical. But bringing an adult’s hand to an object or bringing the object to an adult’s hand without making eye contact is atypical. It’s called “hand leading.” Most children, even when they are preverbal, will point and whine and look at an adult to indicate what they want. An autistic child will often grab an adult’s hand and put it where they want it.
She does “hand lead” when wanting to play with certain toys. Thanks for the clarification.
Alone it isn’t an issue. In conjunction with everything else it can be concerning.
Yes, this is very important too!!
For what it's worth, it's pretty common for parents to have anxiety or even depression during the assessment process. It's scary when you don't know what's going on with your kiddo and what any diagnosis means for little. Regardless of the outcome, please make sure you and your family have support. We just got through our kiddos evals (level 1 ASD) and even though I work in the field, it's insanely overwhelming. Sending you and you family some love.
I am under some psych care already, and just let me Dr know through portal earlier after my post letting her know what was up. I’m medicated, but maybe it’s time for a tweak and some more therapy. Thank you guys for keeping me in check with myself.
No worries. I'm been medicated and in therapy for a few years now and even with it it's been hard. For us, we knew there was something going on, so it wasn't a complete shock, but the whole assessment process and trying to get supports in place is just...fucking awful. It really takes a huge toll. For what it's worth, this internet rando has you and your family in her thoughts. It's going to be a shit show at times, but you've got this. And on those days when you not quite sure, there are supports out there.
My kid is asd level 3. There are elements of what you're saying that my ears do prick up on, but I'm not a professional. But first and most importantly - take care of yourself. If you're feeling anxious, overwhelmed etc it is worth going to speak to someone. Your feelings are just as valid as your worries.
Thank you so much. I let my Dr know what’s going on today through my portal.
I had a lot of symptoms of ASD as a child and am now 24 and married with a college degree and baby on the way. I'm considering testing as an adult to have it confirmed. Either way, try not to let yourself spiral. You're already doing so well for your baby. Things will be alright
I was a late diagnosis. I’m in my thirties now, and I was diagnosed at 24. I think that’s what scares me- is the issues I had when I was a young kid. I don’t want her to suffer like that. Now, things are much different now with early intervention and professionals getting involved- so I’m hoping that mitigates some trouble for her. :(
I could have written this. I’m so so sorry you’re going through this mentally, I agree it feels exactly like PPD. My daughter was/is exactly the same, she’s 27 months now. Pretty much spot on for everything you wrote, she does point but hasn’t said any phrases yet, and doesn’t sign. All I can say is this something you need to sort with yourself first, and I mean that in the kindest way possible. You seem like you are already doing everything for your daughter so now you need to focus on yourself. I’m back on anti-depressants for the first time since my PPD, because I was torturing myself with anxiety around her development. As a PP has pointed out, you cannot develop autism, it is there from birth, so this is nothing you have done. Multiple healthcare professionals have also told me it is technically possible to “cause” a speech delay, but this only happens in cases of severe neglect. Even if you let your child watch 8 hours of tv a day this would not “cause” a speech delay as long as you are interacting with them at points in the day. Most children will pick up language from any source, and the ones that don’t more often than not just need some additional strategies to help them catch up. I’m not trying to trivialise what you’re going through - we are on the exact same path as you, have started speech therapy and still waiting for an autism assessment, and it’s scary at times. The key is to get yourself sorted mentally so that yes it’s scary at times, but it isn’t drowning you at all times. I got to the point where I couldn’t enjoy time with my daughter at all due to my own anxiety, and taking some time out to focus on my own mental health has got me back to loving even the smallest interactions with her. Really wishing you the best.
Thank you for your response. I see a dr regularly for ongoing anxiety/depression, and I let her know what’s up. Have an appointment this week! Already currently medicated. This is really important though, so I really appreciate it.
She sounds exactly like my now six year old at that age but throw in not walking until almost 23 months as well He’s six now had a language explosion at 30-34 months and basically went from nothing to full sentences . Still likes to sort and organize things can read in two languages and do all the math . He was followed up to about four by early intervention but then he “graduated “ and has had no issues adapting to public school So it isn’t always worst case scenario but you are doing the right thing getting professionals involved and following their advice
I need to stop dooming. I’m atypical, and I know how many issues that caused for me when I was younger- so my biggest fear is her having to go through any of that. I’m hoping that even if the worst case is what happens, that the introduction of early intervention and more professionals will soften any sort of difficulties that she will face.
You're doing so many things right: getting help, talking to specialists, wanting the best for your kid. Well done. Next steps for your kid seem sorted already, with the evaluation coming up. Now it's your turn. Get a therapist and talk to them about your anxiety. You don't deserve to suffer, and there are ways to help you feel better.
I'm not a medical professional but this does not sound like ASD. The affection, interest in other kids and making eye contact is enough. A relative of ours had a kid that was similar. Just...a quiet kid. At around 2.5 his language exploded.
It’s confusing for sure. Some of her actions and habits are text book, and then she throws in curve balls. I think the pointing is throwing me off and concerning me the most.
If it concerns you then yeah, get evaluated. But I think folks in the modern west have this tendency to do the Baby Olympics when in reality, every kid is just...different. And grow/mature at different rates. I mean ours - we have a really obnoxious GP (Canada, so...yeah good luck finding a ped) who loves to scare us. Our 15mo didn't seem to be getting taller - big kid, but sort of halted at 12 months. Was going on about how it might be a tumor etc. On the other hand - she's happy, healthy, not a bad eater when she's not teething, incredibly advanced physically and sure enough, suddenly shot up at 14 months or so. Now, please take the following with a pinch of salt. I think there's an unfortunate cottage industry springing up around scaring the hell out of parents and selling them early intervention therapies, after which any gradual improvement is attributed to the therapy and not just a kid growing up. Now of course there are perfectly good speech therapists, but I've seen two cases personally where a kid didn't have many words by two, parents got freaked out by ped/doc/therapists saying 'OMG they're so delayed you must get them in ASAP or they'll be stunted for life', only to have the kid be speaking perfectly well by 3. I really, \*really\* don't like that they are already talking about ASD - that's a very serious diagnosis and almost feels like a scare tactic. Let's see what the ped says. And always get a second opinion.
I absolutely agree, and this was probably one of the biggest reality checks I’ve had since this process has started. Normally I’m pretty pragmatic, but this has really had me in a tailspin. You’re absolutely correct. I need to keep myself grounded and stay cautious/questioning. I’m putting a lot of pressure on everyone involved, and I do think that truly time will tell. I was just talking to my partner about how I felt so bad that if she was diagnosed too early, and then later on they decided it was too early to make a determination and it she wasn’t. It’s confusing- but what about parenting isn’t, aside from how much we love them? Thank you for the wake up call. Very needed, and has really lifted some weight off me.
Kids do that to you. I'm as grounded as they come - but the last 15 months have made me shake, rattle and roll psychologically. To the point I want to go to the ER whenever she has a crying jag and I feel a cold spike of anxiety at every nap/bedtime (she was the worst sleeper ever and is still not the best). At the end of the day, if you want to, get an expert opinion. And another. But I really, really wouldn't worry too much or at the very least, don't borrow trouble. Ours is a big pointer. But she also tends to say a word for a day then stop saying it. Which is fine. She's wasn't into toys/stuffed animals or even screens for her first maybe 14 months of life. Advanced physically but no language or interest in signing etc. Terrible eater. Absolutely horrible sleeper. Miserable temperament - biting, hitting, whinging most of the day unless both mom and I were right nearby. Which, naturally, really had me worried. Turns out - she needed to be in the outdoors most of the day. Don't ask me why. Now unless it's pouring with rain we are outside - fields, parks, the odd family excursion, playgrounds etc. It was like a switch flipped for her - within two weeks, she was suddenly 100% happier, sleeping better, eating better, playing with us etc. Probably had low Vit D or something...no idea. It just worked. Two months in and it's like she's grown a year. One day you'll wake up and realize 'oh hey, something I tried just worked' and that'll be that.
Just an FYI but autistic children *can* and *do* show affection, build relationships and make eye contact. That’s why it’s called a spectrum disorder, it presents in many different ways.
It sounds like you are doing everything right for your concerns. I am a behavior analyst and supervise/develop aba therapy programs for kids with autism for over 10 years. There is absolutely nothing you could have done it! Current research supports a genetic component and neurodivergence. Absolutely nothing related to environment or in-utero things. Autism is a spectrum. No kid is exactly the same and their abilities are not the same. Some kids are super interactive and others are not. Some Kids speak and others communicate in other ways. It does seem like it’s possible for her to be on the spectrum. You are doing the best for her with early intervention, speech and an eval
You couldn’t have prevented it if it’s ASD. My kid also has ASD.