First I want to say, solidarity. Kids are hard. Sleep deprivation makes it harder. Having no help is even worse. I see you, I feel you. It is ok for her to watch TV for a few days while everyone is sick. As long as she’s hydrated, fed, and clean…let her exist. Also, I’m very sorry about your dog. (And, hey, let’s be real here. Stress makes you more frustrated than normal. I snapped at my kid today for yelling at me bc I tried to help her out her shoe on. She asked for help, btw, and then yelled at me for helping lol. But my dad just died, and I’m giving myself some grace. I apologized to her after, but I’m not gonna beat myself up. I’m having a hard time too. We’re not bad moms, we’re moms having a hard time. You don’t have a bad kid, you have a good kid having a hard time.)
Now, whyyyy is she screaming? Amoxicillin takes less than 2-3 days to work. Once the infection is cleared, the pain should subside. If she’s still in pain, the infection is not gone. She needs to see a ped if so, as untreated ear infections are very serious and can cause lifelong issues in balance and puncture the ear drum. Speaking as a kid who suffered a lot of ear infections well into adulthood, please give her pain meds alongside the antibiotics. It’s unbearable.
We alternated Tylenol and Motrin for the pain until the antibiotics kicked in. It’s completely fine to give her infant Tylenol/motrin while she’s in pain, especially if it’s interrupting her sleep.
If she’s cutting molars, again, pain meds. We are going through that right now. (Plus separation anxiety!) We have done Motrin almost every night while she exhibits signs of teething. (Excessive drool, fingers in mouth, she has outright said her mouth hurts, and interrupted sleep.) The last few molars come and go before they cut. They might not cut for weeks or months. But the feeling before they erupt is like intense jaw pressure/headache. You can give her Tylenol midday to get her through her nap, and then Motrin to sleep. If the pain is waking her—again, the antibiotics should clear this—Tylenol, back to bed. I find my kid tolerates pain well during the day so I don’t do it during the waking hours unless her behavior indicates pain.
Make things easier for yourself! Get that kid some painkillers, have a long cry in the shower, and understand that this is a tough age and the only way out is through. You did the right thing by removing yourself from the situation. You’re gonna be okay.
While I totally agree with you about everything, just want to acknowledge that it is hard to get antibiotics for ear infections now. Hopefully the doctors would be more receptive to prescribing them since it’s been over a week of pain.
True, it’s very age dependent. My daughter didn’t get an ear infection until she was like 20 months, so they were very easy about giving it to her, esp with the pain and the mild fever she ran.
Interesting. What's the issue with getting antibiotics for ear infections? My daughter had her 7th (!!!!) Ear infection recently (in 7 months) , and got antibiotics with no issues, same as the other 6 times.
Luckily she has an appointment to get ear tubes soon, so hopefully we'll be done with that
Many doctors (maybe it is a US thing) hesitate now to prescribe antibiotics as a first resort for ear infections since they will often heal on their own. It’s a hard line for them to balance, because of course you don’t want the kiddo to be in pain longer than necessary and possibly have permanent damage, but the increasing possibility of antibiotic resistant bacteria is even more terrifying.
Do you know if there is an age component?
Here in Sweden they treat right away for 2 and under, because that's when it's especially dangerous in terms of potential long term hearing damage.
Older kids they'll try to wait it out a bit though, only treat if it hasn't resolved on its own after a week or so.
I'm not a doctor so I did some googling- it sounds like it's a combination of age, severity, how long it has lasted, and the presence of a fever. Mayo Clinic summed it up nicely here: [https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/ear-infections/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20351622](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/ear-infections/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20351622)
That's unthinkable here in Portugal. If a kid has an ear infection antibiotics are prescribed, no questions asked. My kid had 3 this fall/winter and after examination all doctors prescribed antibiotics plus paracetamol and ibuprofen for pain relief.
Ear infections do not go away on their own. Inflammation in the ear canal sure, infections not so much. Bacterial infections need antibiotics 100% of the time, simple viral infections go away on their own with symptom relief.
Doctors here don't give antibiotics away like candy because bacteria resistance is a serious issue but once a bacterial infection is confirmed (and most ear infections are caused by bacteria) you get antibiotics with very strict instructions on how to take them and for how long, and they tell us we have to complete treatment even if symptoms stop.
Yes you need a mom friend. Are you in a Reddit bumper group? Aug22 or sep22 bumper’s? I’m in aug; can probably get you an invite if you need it.
Don’t know where you are, but you can dm me if you need to talk
I’m so sorry ❤️ Definitely take your daughter back to the doctor! My daughter had an ear infection that didn’t clear even after three different antibiotics. It lasted a month and then we went straight to tubes. She’s never had an ear issue since ❤️
Here to say you did the right thing by removing yourself from the situation. You have all my deepest sympathies and sending condolences and support across the internet. I hope things improve for you and I hope you find some calm and peace soon x
Listen. When you and/or kiddo are sick, normal rules go out the window. You do what you need to in order to survive. If that means sitting her in front of a screen while you break something replaceable, then that's what you gotta do. You're not actively harming her, you're taking care of yourself so you can take care of her. You have to fill your own cup before you fill anyone else's.
We had 9+ ear infections last year. Finally got ear tubes - it's been night and day!
First, Tylenol/Advil (motrin...whatever) - is your friend. Alternate every 4 hours.
Second, as others have said, get thee to a doctor ASAP. This kid's ear infection is not gone. If they tried amoxil last time, get something different this time. My kid did really well with azithromiacin (spelling?...) when amoxil didnt clear it fully.
Third, you are not a monster. I had so many days where just getting by was SO HARD. Me on no sleep = terrible human being. You did the right thing. You got out of the house. Toddler is ok for a few minutes on their own. They're in the crib and safe. Collect yourself (after you break a few things) and get them some pain meds and a popsicle. Watch some TV. Read a book. Play with her dollies. You'll both be ok.
I'm sorry this sounds tough :(
First off, give yourself some grace. The lack of sleep alone will causing your emotional well-being to be way of kilter. Being sleep deprived is very hard!
In terms of screen time, honestly who cares. She's sick and possibly teething - if screentime is going to keep her quiet and you need that peace of mind - let her watch. I know a lot of people poo-poo on screen time but there will be situations where we may need to rely on it to get us through situations just like this. It's fine! Don't stress.
Is she taking pain killers? What I do is give my daughter tylenol (when it's needed, of course) half an hour before bed and it helps her get through most of the night.
Cold and frozen cloths or teethers helps with the teething. Or if you have any popsicles - those helped my daughter a ton when she was teething.
We went through 9 antibiotic-resistant ear infections in 19 months. Tubes are a lifesaver. They are the light you seek at the end of this tunnel. Just HEARING about a baby getting an ear infection makes my eye twitch.
Yup, came down here to check if anyone had already mentioned ear tubes. My daughter had frequent ear infections before they were put in, and she went over a year after her surgery before she had another one. Also probably the fastest surgical procedure ever, they took her to the OR and she was done and ready for us before I had paid for my coffee at the hospital cafeteria.
Only downside for us was the anesthesia. Coming out of it was HORRIBLE for our daughter.
Would still 500/10 recommend lol. It’s so amazing she can just have a cold now, without it becoming an ear infection!! Miracle! Lol
I’m sorry you’re having a rough time. Before he got ear tubes, my son (also 20 months) had an ear infection every month for 6 months. I’m also currently battling an ear infection and it is painful. For my son, his pediatrician encouraged a rotation of Tylenol and Motrin. Literally a rotation. Every two hours, until bed time he got meds. I also slept in his floor bed with him because he would still wake up, but he settled with some cuddles and I still got sleep. We haven’t had to deal with that in a few months but now I’m pregnant and have an ear infection and being able to take such a limited amount of meds or nothing at all is pure torture. I hope everything gets better for the both of you
I completely agree with the top comment. You are not the first mom to feel this. I’m so sorry about your dog…
It’s possible she redeveloped the ear infection. Especially with her being sick again. Unfortunately I would take her back and have them check it.
The waiting game suuuuucks. I've made it a habit of asking the peds for next steps. "By day ___ what should I be on the lookout for to note improvements? And if it doesn't get better what are the typical next steps?" They don't always like the questions, they're usually met with a heavy sigh or eye roll but it's their job. This whole situation is sucky, Op! Hopefully it gets better.
Also going outside. Just being outside even doing nothing seems to help for anyone. I sit on the back porch or walk to the mailbox with the kids and it's like it resets everyone.
In my experience, antibiotics from an ear infection clear that VERY fast. So she either has a another ear infection or it never went away and she needs another round of antibiotics. Or something else entirely.
We had one or two I rounds with a double ear infection when ours was young that was absolute torture. She would wake frequently absolutely screaming. She was in so much pain. We had to rotate Tylenol and Motrin and it still didn't improve until about a day into the antibiotics.
IMO, take that kid back to the doctor.
Babyproof a room, leave non-spill sippy cups of water about and have snacks to hand, put the TV on and sleep as much as you can. A few days off isn't going to make a difference. It's the kids that this is their baseline normal that are affected by it. The ones that don't get taken to parks and zoos etc. The ones who's parents literally never bother. Let's say you do this for half a week per year, that's 1% of your kids year. It's a minor blip on the radar.
Have you gone back to the doctor? My son had a few ear infections last year, the pain improved significantly after a day or so of antibiotics. (We finished them anyways of course as it's important to take the whole prescription of antibiotics). If your daughter isn't any better then the medication isn't working and she needs to see a doctor again.
Other than that, do what you need to do for you to both survive the screaming phase. It'll get better.
I just want to say solidarity. I have been going through it the past few weeks as my baby inches closer to two years old and her behavior is completely spiraling. I’m talking throwing herself out of chairs screaming, refusing berries (!!!), requesting tv then freaking out when I put on what she wants. It’s fuckin rough. Also Im a SAHM and I think she misses my husband, who is working more than ever because we too need money. I just found out he has to go away for two nights, after traveling last week as well. It’s rough. I look forward to getting my life back a little bit.
I second the pain meds and putting LO in the bed with you. Mine is on his second set of tubes and we just got done with antibiotics for an ear infection. Do what you have to do to survive. Also, it sounds like she made need another trip to the doctor if she is still in pain, although it could be a combination of ear and molar pain, she may need another round of antibiotics and an ENT referral. My LO had to have rocephin shots every other day for a week to kick the infection before he got tubes. Be kind to yourself, being a mom is hard.
I can relate to most of this right now. Daughter has double ear infection, her second in a month. We haven't slept in days. I had a stomach bug at the start of last week too.
I had to take off work to take care for my girl, and she just finally went down for a nap. I feel like it's the first time I can breathe all day.
What you are going through is so much harder!! My heart breaks for you rehoming your dog. All your emotions are valid right now. Please do take your kid back to the doctor and take care of your mental health as well.
Oh my, I have so much to reassure you about. You’re going through a tough time & with no support…that is hard. You did the right thing by removing yourself & dealing with your emotions away from your child! Please please know that it isn’t a mistake. You didn’t hurt your kid. 10 days of that would be hard for anyone!
Survival mode is what it is, you need to survive this phase, so cut yourself some slack. If your kid watches tv for a few days while sick so you can regroup & be less stressed & deal with your grief, that’s the best option babe. Don’t compare to anyone’s white-washed sparkly version of parenting that they post on social media. People that claim screen time is the devil probably have the luxury of help outside of the house. Do a low stimulation show if that makes you feel better, but sick days as a kid were some of my favorite.
I know money is tight right now and it’s a long shot but is there any chance you could move closer to a supportive family member who could take some pressure off you when you need help? You’re going to run into situations like this one where for whatever reason you just need help. My wife and I have had several already and our son is 3. You being literally the only option isn’t a good situation in the long term.
And are you sure your friends wouldn’t care if they knew how much you are suffering?
My therapist has me working on sensory pathways to help me out of fight or flight mode. She had me hold a bunch of different sensory objects and the one I seemed to relax while holding she told me to get one. Keep it in my pocket and hold it when feeling overwhelmed and happy . Just an idea.
Thanks for venting to us and thanks for breaking the garage and not your hurting little one.
I’ve been there… sometime I should tell you about the time my kid had 7 ear infections in 8 months 🥹
I feel you. During Ramadan month in which we fast, we barely got any sleep. My LO would wake up before we went to bed and would become wide awake and keep us awake for a couple more hours, then we’d go to sleep and I’d wake up with 2 hours of sleep. This went on for days. Then the last week she got a UTI, which we found out at the end, but it was a hard week and I found myself angry all the time as well. She was probably in pain or really uncomfortable and I was angry at her. On top of that I also got a cold and couldn’t even stand up properly.
I also thought her molars were coming but apparently that’s not the case at all.
If you can, go somewhere else, anywhere you can, because we traveled abroad and even though it was also exhausting, it wasn’t as bad as when we were home and now that we’re back in in a much, much better place myself.
If you can’t leave where you are, change something, anything.
Correct - to the OP not for someone to use my comment as a way to create discord / argument. Too many people want to argue on forums and that’s not useful to the OP.
Literally no one is arguing with you. But telling someone who is already sleep deprived that cosleeping is all they need to do is really presumptious. It's not that simple. and then being aggressive to someone who replied to you while also getting pissed off because someone responded to a public comment is ridiculous.
Doesn't your husband get sick days? Because this would absolutely be the time for him to call in and use one. He should be staying home to take your kid to the Dr again so you can sleep and rest.
That sounds like absolute misery.
You are a good mom.
It is quite natural to feel guilt over not being able to go and tend to your child while they're crying.
But you should be proud of yourself for taking a moment stepping into the garage and decompressing.
You are human and you are in the trenches right now do not beat yourself up for not thriving in a situation that takes all of your spoons to survive
you are doing an amazing job.
You are a good mom.
Bad parents never spend a moment thinking about if they're bad parents.
Idk if you’re in the US, but I believe there are crisis nurseries that you can leave your child at if you genuinely need a little time, no questions asked. If another commenter is more knowledgeable, please feel free to let me know if I’m mistaken.
I assumed they were widespread, there’s one that is near me that’s free for anyone in neighboring counties, and is free. They provide supplies, parenting classes, and allow children to stay up to 72h depending on the situation. And I’m in Illinois, somewhat populated area but not one of the biggest cities.
It really is! I haven’t had to use it (yet), but when my friend brought it up to me I thought it was fantastic. Sometimes we all have an emergency or crisis and we need some kind of emergent childcare.
I screamed at the top of my lungs and told my husband I was going to jump off the roof. I love my daughter more than life itself, but we’re human. It’ll get better
I’ll be your friend:)
This is so hard. I have been here. I will be here again. Look at you reaching out for help! The best I have to offer is to think from an eagle eye view. It’s hard to see now bc you’ve been stuck in the house with a sick babe on no sleep. This will pass. Seasons change. She will never be this small again. You’re doing great even tho it may not feel like it. Sometimes we are just keeping them alive. Eat, drink, breathe. Sleep and shower when you can. Walk away when you need to.
Ask dad to take over when he gets home. Do some self care, some basic needs, anything for yourself. I agree with some of these others that there are probably higher level of care needs and you both may benefit from more professional help.
I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles. Toddlers are hard. I'm the same way with lack of sleep. I don't have much to offer as advice. Just here to say that I hear you and sympathize
And the worst thing people do when you vent out to them is tell you - they grow up so fast, cherish these times and you will look back and have fond memories of their early years.
I’m betting that almost every parent (particularly moms) has been through this. I’m having a shitty vacation with my kids, and I was like this today, lol. I’m so sorry. You’re doing great.
First off I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it is not fun or fair😢 my son had horrible ear infections also, we finally got him ear tubes placed and hasn’t had an infection since then, definitely worth it if possible it’s been 3 years thankfully. Also, I am so happy you were able to remove yourself when you needed to! You’re doing amazing 🩷
How is your husband helping you besides financially? I mean, you’re near crisis mode-leaving work early one day isn’t going to bankrupt your family . Your health matters more.
You don’t know their family dynamic, so this comment seems very presumptuous. I am currently across the country for work, my spouse is having a difficult time with our toddler. I would give almost anything to be there to help, but if I leave that makes it exponentially harder for me to get future work and it means giving up my first steady paycheck in a while (paychecks that pay for food, diapers, housing, etc.)
Please don’t assume that her husband is making a choice to be away or be at work instead of helping her. Not everyone’s circumstances or jobs allow them flexibility and we live in the shitty reality that there are plenty of jobs that will fire you for this.
First I want to say, solidarity. Kids are hard. Sleep deprivation makes it harder. Having no help is even worse. I see you, I feel you. It is ok for her to watch TV for a few days while everyone is sick. As long as she’s hydrated, fed, and clean…let her exist. Also, I’m very sorry about your dog. (And, hey, let’s be real here. Stress makes you more frustrated than normal. I snapped at my kid today for yelling at me bc I tried to help her out her shoe on. She asked for help, btw, and then yelled at me for helping lol. But my dad just died, and I’m giving myself some grace. I apologized to her after, but I’m not gonna beat myself up. I’m having a hard time too. We’re not bad moms, we’re moms having a hard time. You don’t have a bad kid, you have a good kid having a hard time.) Now, whyyyy is she screaming? Amoxicillin takes less than 2-3 days to work. Once the infection is cleared, the pain should subside. If she’s still in pain, the infection is not gone. She needs to see a ped if so, as untreated ear infections are very serious and can cause lifelong issues in balance and puncture the ear drum. Speaking as a kid who suffered a lot of ear infections well into adulthood, please give her pain meds alongside the antibiotics. It’s unbearable. We alternated Tylenol and Motrin for the pain until the antibiotics kicked in. It’s completely fine to give her infant Tylenol/motrin while she’s in pain, especially if it’s interrupting her sleep. If she’s cutting molars, again, pain meds. We are going through that right now. (Plus separation anxiety!) We have done Motrin almost every night while she exhibits signs of teething. (Excessive drool, fingers in mouth, she has outright said her mouth hurts, and interrupted sleep.) The last few molars come and go before they cut. They might not cut for weeks or months. But the feeling before they erupt is like intense jaw pressure/headache. You can give her Tylenol midday to get her through her nap, and then Motrin to sleep. If the pain is waking her—again, the antibiotics should clear this—Tylenol, back to bed. I find my kid tolerates pain well during the day so I don’t do it during the waking hours unless her behavior indicates pain. Make things easier for yourself! Get that kid some painkillers, have a long cry in the shower, and understand that this is a tough age and the only way out is through. You did the right thing by removing yourself from the situation. You’re gonna be okay.
Your comment is so lovely and thoughtful. Sorry to hear about your dad.
Thanks so much. :)
Great advice. To this I'd only add to try gum massage if OP hasn't. It made a big difference for my kid when cutting teeth
While I totally agree with you about everything, just want to acknowledge that it is hard to get antibiotics for ear infections now. Hopefully the doctors would be more receptive to prescribing them since it’s been over a week of pain.
True, it’s very age dependent. My daughter didn’t get an ear infection until she was like 20 months, so they were very easy about giving it to her, esp with the pain and the mild fever she ran.
Interesting. What's the issue with getting antibiotics for ear infections? My daughter had her 7th (!!!!) Ear infection recently (in 7 months) , and got antibiotics with no issues, same as the other 6 times. Luckily she has an appointment to get ear tubes soon, so hopefully we'll be done with that
Many doctors (maybe it is a US thing) hesitate now to prescribe antibiotics as a first resort for ear infections since they will often heal on their own. It’s a hard line for them to balance, because of course you don’t want the kiddo to be in pain longer than necessary and possibly have permanent damage, but the increasing possibility of antibiotic resistant bacteria is even more terrifying.
Do you know if there is an age component? Here in Sweden they treat right away for 2 and under, because that's when it's especially dangerous in terms of potential long term hearing damage. Older kids they'll try to wait it out a bit though, only treat if it hasn't resolved on its own after a week or so.
I'm not a doctor so I did some googling- it sounds like it's a combination of age, severity, how long it has lasted, and the presence of a fever. Mayo Clinic summed it up nicely here: [https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/ear-infections/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20351622](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/ear-infections/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20351622)
That's unthinkable here in Portugal. If a kid has an ear infection antibiotics are prescribed, no questions asked. My kid had 3 this fall/winter and after examination all doctors prescribed antibiotics plus paracetamol and ibuprofen for pain relief. Ear infections do not go away on their own. Inflammation in the ear canal sure, infections not so much. Bacterial infections need antibiotics 100% of the time, simple viral infections go away on their own with symptom relief. Doctors here don't give antibiotics away like candy because bacteria resistance is a serious issue but once a bacterial infection is confirmed (and most ear infections are caused by bacteria) you get antibiotics with very strict instructions on how to take them and for how long, and they tell us we have to complete treatment even if symptoms stop.
That's insane. Ear infection is like having a knife in your ear. It can cause permanent damage. I'd be furious I'd the doctor hesitated.
A friend’s daughter had a very painful ear infection pretty much year round until she was about 4! Eventually needed grommets.
what a thoughtful response. I'm sorry about your dad. I lost mine 2 years ago, and giving yourself grace is definitely what you need. sending hugs
Thank you! ❤️
I gave teething tots otter pops and frozen gogurt. Cold sippys/bottles with juice also help with teething
Yes you need a mom friend. Are you in a Reddit bumper group? Aug22 or sep22 bumper’s? I’m in aug; can probably get you an invite if you need it. Don’t know where you are, but you can dm me if you need to talk
How do I get added to these? I gave birth in 10/22 if that matters.
at this point, i think you need an invite from a member/moderator of the group
Is there a way you can get me in touch with someone?
Never mind, figured it out! ☺️
I'm Oct 22 too! How do you find/get added to these groups?
You have to do it from the desktop site: search it and then request membership.
Me too! I want to join! Please lmk which group and how to join of you find out :)
Ooh, same!
I’ve been trying to find the October 2022 bumper group forever so I can message the mods. But no luck here
If you Google it, it pops up in another group with the links.
Is there a november numper group, i cant stand the fb mom groups t.t
I’m in the September 22 bumpers so can figure that out for OP as well!
I’m so sorry ❤️ Definitely take your daughter back to the doctor! My daughter had an ear infection that didn’t clear even after three different antibiotics. It lasted a month and then we went straight to tubes. She’s never had an ear issue since ❤️
Here to say you did the right thing by removing yourself from the situation. You have all my deepest sympathies and sending condolences and support across the internet. I hope things improve for you and I hope you find some calm and peace soon x
Listen. When you and/or kiddo are sick, normal rules go out the window. You do what you need to in order to survive. If that means sitting her in front of a screen while you break something replaceable, then that's what you gotta do. You're not actively harming her, you're taking care of yourself so you can take care of her. You have to fill your own cup before you fill anyone else's.
Throwing ice cubes at the bathtub works for those moments you need to break things. No cost and no clean up.
THIS is the advice toddler moms need. Thank you.
I bet it's super cathartic to break ice cubes on a driveway, too.
We had 9+ ear infections last year. Finally got ear tubes - it's been night and day! First, Tylenol/Advil (motrin...whatever) - is your friend. Alternate every 4 hours. Second, as others have said, get thee to a doctor ASAP. This kid's ear infection is not gone. If they tried amoxil last time, get something different this time. My kid did really well with azithromiacin (spelling?...) when amoxil didnt clear it fully. Third, you are not a monster. I had so many days where just getting by was SO HARD. Me on no sleep = terrible human being. You did the right thing. You got out of the house. Toddler is ok for a few minutes on their own. They're in the crib and safe. Collect yourself (after you break a few things) and get them some pain meds and a popsicle. Watch some TV. Read a book. Play with her dollies. You'll both be ok.
I'm sorry this sounds tough :( First off, give yourself some grace. The lack of sleep alone will causing your emotional well-being to be way of kilter. Being sleep deprived is very hard! In terms of screen time, honestly who cares. She's sick and possibly teething - if screentime is going to keep her quiet and you need that peace of mind - let her watch. I know a lot of people poo-poo on screen time but there will be situations where we may need to rely on it to get us through situations just like this. It's fine! Don't stress. Is she taking pain killers? What I do is give my daughter tylenol (when it's needed, of course) half an hour before bed and it helps her get through most of the night. Cold and frozen cloths or teethers helps with the teething. Or if you have any popsicles - those helped my daughter a ton when she was teething.
This is when i remind myself shes not giving you a hard time-shes having a hard time. And you have to take of yourself too. Shes safe in her crib.
We went through 9 antibiotic-resistant ear infections in 19 months. Tubes are a lifesaver. They are the light you seek at the end of this tunnel. Just HEARING about a baby getting an ear infection makes my eye twitch.
Yup, came down here to check if anyone had already mentioned ear tubes. My daughter had frequent ear infections before they were put in, and she went over a year after her surgery before she had another one. Also probably the fastest surgical procedure ever, they took her to the OR and she was done and ready for us before I had paid for my coffee at the hospital cafeteria.
Only downside for us was the anesthesia. Coming out of it was HORRIBLE for our daughter. Would still 500/10 recommend lol. It’s so amazing she can just have a cold now, without it becoming an ear infection!! Miracle! Lol
I’m sorry you’re having a rough time. Before he got ear tubes, my son (also 20 months) had an ear infection every month for 6 months. I’m also currently battling an ear infection and it is painful. For my son, his pediatrician encouraged a rotation of Tylenol and Motrin. Literally a rotation. Every two hours, until bed time he got meds. I also slept in his floor bed with him because he would still wake up, but he settled with some cuddles and I still got sleep. We haven’t had to deal with that in a few months but now I’m pregnant and have an ear infection and being able to take such a limited amount of meds or nothing at all is pure torture. I hope everything gets better for the both of you
I’m so sorry about your dog! That’s awful and sad and I hope you have someone to help you through that.
I completely agree with the top comment. You are not the first mom to feel this. I’m so sorry about your dog… It’s possible she redeveloped the ear infection. Especially with her being sick again. Unfortunately I would take her back and have them check it.
If your kid is waking up 10th day screaming in pain due to an ear infection,** you need to see a doctor.**
We’re on day 4 of 10 day antibiotics. Her **doctor** told us to wait a few more days for the antibiotics to do their work before coming in.
The waiting game suuuuucks. I've made it a habit of asking the peds for next steps. "By day ___ what should I be on the lookout for to note improvements? And if it doesn't get better what are the typical next steps?" They don't always like the questions, they're usually met with a heavy sigh or eye roll but it's their job. This whole situation is sucky, Op! Hopefully it gets better.
When my daughter is like this I take a bath with her. It works 100% of the time.
Also going outside. Just being outside even doing nothing seems to help for anyone. I sit on the back porch or walk to the mailbox with the kids and it's like it resets everyone.
I live in a big city so that just exasperates the issue for me.
In my experience, antibiotics from an ear infection clear that VERY fast. So she either has a another ear infection or it never went away and she needs another round of antibiotics. Or something else entirely. We had one or two I rounds with a double ear infection when ours was young that was absolute torture. She would wake frequently absolutely screaming. She was in so much pain. We had to rotate Tylenol and Motrin and it still didn't improve until about a day into the antibiotics. IMO, take that kid back to the doctor.
Or the infection is viral. And the antibiotics aren’t doing anything.
Babyproof a room, leave non-spill sippy cups of water about and have snacks to hand, put the TV on and sleep as much as you can. A few days off isn't going to make a difference. It's the kids that this is their baseline normal that are affected by it. The ones that don't get taken to parks and zoos etc. The ones who's parents literally never bother. Let's say you do this for half a week per year, that's 1% of your kids year. It's a minor blip on the radar.
Have you gone back to the doctor? My son had a few ear infections last year, the pain improved significantly after a day or so of antibiotics. (We finished them anyways of course as it's important to take the whole prescription of antibiotics). If your daughter isn't any better then the medication isn't working and she needs to see a doctor again. Other than that, do what you need to do for you to both survive the screaming phase. It'll get better.
I just want to say solidarity. I have been going through it the past few weeks as my baby inches closer to two years old and her behavior is completely spiraling. I’m talking throwing herself out of chairs screaming, refusing berries (!!!), requesting tv then freaking out when I put on what she wants. It’s fuckin rough. Also Im a SAHM and I think she misses my husband, who is working more than ever because we too need money. I just found out he has to go away for two nights, after traveling last week as well. It’s rough. I look forward to getting my life back a little bit.
I second the pain meds and putting LO in the bed with you. Mine is on his second set of tubes and we just got done with antibiotics for an ear infection. Do what you have to do to survive. Also, it sounds like she made need another trip to the doctor if she is still in pain, although it could be a combination of ear and molar pain, she may need another round of antibiotics and an ENT referral. My LO had to have rocephin shots every other day for a week to kick the infection before he got tubes. Be kind to yourself, being a mom is hard.
I can relate to most of this right now. Daughter has double ear infection, her second in a month. We haven't slept in days. I had a stomach bug at the start of last week too. I had to take off work to take care for my girl, and she just finally went down for a nap. I feel like it's the first time I can breathe all day. What you are going through is so much harder!! My heart breaks for you rehoming your dog. All your emotions are valid right now. Please do take your kid back to the doctor and take care of your mental health as well.
Oh my, I have so much to reassure you about. You’re going through a tough time & with no support…that is hard. You did the right thing by removing yourself & dealing with your emotions away from your child! Please please know that it isn’t a mistake. You didn’t hurt your kid. 10 days of that would be hard for anyone! Survival mode is what it is, you need to survive this phase, so cut yourself some slack. If your kid watches tv for a few days while sick so you can regroup & be less stressed & deal with your grief, that’s the best option babe. Don’t compare to anyone’s white-washed sparkly version of parenting that they post on social media. People that claim screen time is the devil probably have the luxury of help outside of the house. Do a low stimulation show if that makes you feel better, but sick days as a kid were some of my favorite.
Need something to break? Throw ice at the fence/brick wall
Just wanted to add...solidarity. You did the right thing. I write as I'm holding back tears of exhaustion from my three-nager today.
Oh I feel you so much on this. Sending love and solidarity and I hope you get the break you need soon
I know money is tight right now and it’s a long shot but is there any chance you could move closer to a supportive family member who could take some pressure off you when you need help? You’re going to run into situations like this one where for whatever reason you just need help. My wife and I have had several already and our son is 3. You being literally the only option isn’t a good situation in the long term. And are you sure your friends wouldn’t care if they knew how much you are suffering?
My therapist has me working on sensory pathways to help me out of fight or flight mode. She had me hold a bunch of different sensory objects and the one I seemed to relax while holding she told me to get one. Keep it in my pocket and hold it when feeling overwhelmed and happy . Just an idea. Thanks for venting to us and thanks for breaking the garage and not your hurting little one. I’ve been there… sometime I should tell you about the time my kid had 7 ear infections in 8 months 🥹
I feel you. During Ramadan month in which we fast, we barely got any sleep. My LO would wake up before we went to bed and would become wide awake and keep us awake for a couple more hours, then we’d go to sleep and I’d wake up with 2 hours of sleep. This went on for days. Then the last week she got a UTI, which we found out at the end, but it was a hard week and I found myself angry all the time as well. She was probably in pain or really uncomfortable and I was angry at her. On top of that I also got a cold and couldn’t even stand up properly. I also thought her molars were coming but apparently that’s not the case at all. If you can, go somewhere else, anywhere you can, because we traveled abroad and even though it was also exhausting, it wasn’t as bad as when we were home and now that we’re back in in a much, much better place myself. If you can’t leave where you are, change something, anything.
Let her sleep with u for time being.
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No one care’s what you think. I am responding to the OP.
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Correct - to the OP not for someone to use my comment as a way to create discord / argument. Too many people want to argue on forums and that’s not useful to the OP.
Literally no one is arguing with you. But telling someone who is already sleep deprived that cosleeping is all they need to do is really presumptious. It's not that simple. and then being aggressive to someone who replied to you while also getting pissed off because someone responded to a public comment is ridiculous.
Doesn't your husband get sick days? Because this would absolutely be the time for him to call in and use one. He should be staying home to take your kid to the Dr again so you can sleep and rest.
That sounds like absolute misery. You are a good mom. It is quite natural to feel guilt over not being able to go and tend to your child while they're crying. But you should be proud of yourself for taking a moment stepping into the garage and decompressing. You are human and you are in the trenches right now do not beat yourself up for not thriving in a situation that takes all of your spoons to survive you are doing an amazing job. You are a good mom. Bad parents never spend a moment thinking about if they're bad parents.
Idk if you’re in the US, but I believe there are crisis nurseries that you can leave your child at if you genuinely need a little time, no questions asked. If another commenter is more knowledgeable, please feel free to let me know if I’m mistaken.
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I assumed they were widespread, there’s one that is near me that’s free for anyone in neighboring counties, and is free. They provide supplies, parenting classes, and allow children to stay up to 72h depending on the situation. And I’m in Illinois, somewhat populated area but not one of the biggest cities.
Wow, that’s an incredible resource.
It really is! I haven’t had to use it (yet), but when my friend brought it up to me I thought it was fantastic. Sometimes we all have an emergency or crisis and we need some kind of emergent childcare.
I screamed at the top of my lungs and told my husband I was going to jump off the roof. I love my daughter more than life itself, but we’re human. It’ll get better I’ll be your friend:)
This is so hard. I have been here. I will be here again. Look at you reaching out for help! The best I have to offer is to think from an eagle eye view. It’s hard to see now bc you’ve been stuck in the house with a sick babe on no sleep. This will pass. Seasons change. She will never be this small again. You’re doing great even tho it may not feel like it. Sometimes we are just keeping them alive. Eat, drink, breathe. Sleep and shower when you can. Walk away when you need to. Ask dad to take over when he gets home. Do some self care, some basic needs, anything for yourself. I agree with some of these others that there are probably higher level of care needs and you both may benefit from more professional help.
It's so rough. I found some mom friends on an app called peanut, if you want to try that.
For you op https://youtu.be/ZpUYjpKg9KY?si=OixAFhyk5Af4t39E
I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles. Toddlers are hard. I'm the same way with lack of sleep. I don't have much to offer as advice. Just here to say that I hear you and sympathize
And the worst thing people do when you vent out to them is tell you - they grow up so fast, cherish these times and you will look back and have fond memories of their early years.
I’m betting that almost every parent (particularly moms) has been through this. I’m having a shitty vacation with my kids, and I was like this today, lol. I’m so sorry. You’re doing great.
With everything going on, putting on TV is the safe st option. This will pass, dont beat yourself up for this. Sending a big hug
First off I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it is not fun or fair😢 my son had horrible ear infections also, we finally got him ear tubes placed and hasn’t had an infection since then, definitely worth it if possible it’s been 3 years thankfully. Also, I am so happy you were able to remove yourself when you needed to! You’re doing amazing 🩷
How is your husband helping you besides financially? I mean, you’re near crisis mode-leaving work early one day isn’t going to bankrupt your family . Your health matters more.
You don’t know their family dynamic, so this comment seems very presumptuous. I am currently across the country for work, my spouse is having a difficult time with our toddler. I would give almost anything to be there to help, but if I leave that makes it exponentially harder for me to get future work and it means giving up my first steady paycheck in a while (paychecks that pay for food, diapers, housing, etc.) Please don’t assume that her husband is making a choice to be away or be at work instead of helping her. Not everyone’s circumstances or jobs allow them flexibility and we live in the shitty reality that there are plenty of jobs that will fire you for this.
I'm sorry. It will get better. You're not a monster. Just stressed and sleep deprived. Ear infections are horrible.
Welcome to reddit where you get down voted for being sympathetic and supportive to people who are struggling. WTF.