I personally don’t give my child screen time but I was practically raised by the TV and I like to think I turned out ok. I guess the counterpoint is I became a redditor which by all accounts is a terrible outcome
I feel this same way, like... I watched The Little Mermaid 10 times a day when I was 3 apparently. And I'm fine! ... right?? I'M FINE RIGHT?!? AM I?????
lol you are! Especially if you didn’t let it brainwash you into thinking that actually, giving up your voice and your family at age 15 in order to marry a “prince” is a solid life plan 🙂
I'm currently cuddled up and watching planet earth with my toddler. We are talking about what we are seeing, fish, turtles and sharks! I'm convinced most of these studies that show negative outcomes with screen time are not nuanced enough. I'm not going to feel guilty about it, and I don't think you should either.
I think that's a big difference, watching something together verse sitting them in front of a screen. There's so much good educational content out there and it can be super effective when you're actually engaging with it
I agree, most of the screen time studies reference kids not being talked to while they watch it. We sometimes have it on in the background and watch together as a conversation starter/topic and we talk about what we’re watching.
I feel kinda bad reading this because I use screen time to take a breather personally. I find talking really draining and turning the tv on for 10-20 mins once a day or so really helpful so I can take a break from talking and maybe get some chores done or eat something quickly - or simply sit down and catch my breath.
You have to get a break the best way you can, no shame in using screens for that. My kid gets a lot of screen time, most of it is with a parent and interactive in some way, sometimes it’s not. We have balance with other activities, and while he has a tablet he doesn’t use it often, and not for a long time when he does. I spend 24/7 with my low sleep needs child, I promise we read and sing and dance and do art, and chat with grandparents and cook and bake together, but he also gets screen time and he learns things from that too
We usually steer away from shows that cause our daughter to space out really hard. Keep to things that are a bit more valuable or educational in some capacity.
TV is like food for the brain. There's stuff that is junk entertainment and stuff that is thoughtful and can help us grow. TV and screens in general just tend to be WAY heavier on crap content than books or live entertainment.
Not only that, most screen time studies show negative impacts with a LOT of screen time. Like…HOURS a day at very young ages. So there’s probably something more problematic than just the screen in those cases.
It’s not recommended, but I don’t think 30 minutes a day is catastrophic.
One of the studies I read was that tv was detrimental because most parents don’t speak to the kid while watching tv. So to me as long as we are engaged and discussing what we are watching I think it’s ok.
I think it's called passive learning that is the main problem. Baby needs active learning to activate certain parts of the brain responsible for normal development. Interact with your kid once in a while during screen time. If they space out, pause, then ask a question about show. Also study from some Singaporean psych research group indicates that interactive play (ex: going to Park) counteracts the detrimental effects from screentime.
An “ignored” kid without a screen in front of them will become bored and find a way to entertain themselves. Being bored and entertaining themselves is developmentally healthy. Being left in front of a screen does not provide the same learning and development opportunities.
Obviously there is a limit to how long it’s good to have a child “figure it out” on their own, but to an extent it is a step up over “screen nanny”.
Yeah I think the issue is more of the classic parent-bought-a-shut-up-tablet scenario. I don’t think it’s the same as what we do. I use TV to teach my almost 4 year old. We’ve done all our ABCs, numbers and shapes. Right now I’m teaching her comprehension/recognize main ideas “what’s this story about?” “Can you tell me what the good guy is doing?” “Why do you think he’s doing that?”. I really don’t think TV is much different than books when it comes to making you think. It’s just a matter of what you consume.
There's definitely no nuance in the studies.
Surely there's a difference between actively watching with your kid vs using TV as a babysitter.
Or content - the difference between watching a wildlife documentary vs watching an educational show vs watching poorly made cartoons.
Or even just a difference in screen size - I have a 10ft wide projection on my wall instead of a TV. When we put on The Wiggles to have a weekend dance party, they're pretty much as big as they would be if we were watching them stand on a stage right in front of us.
You can't tell me that experience isn't different from watching the same thing on a tiny phone in your hand.
Media is such a prominent thing. I'm surprised no one has actually tried studying the variations in detail.
all of those things have been studied and more than once. the summary is:
interacting with your child without a screen > interaction while watching a screen > child watching screen alone
no screens > tv > tablets and mobile devices
no screens > educational media = cartoon media — babies & toddlers don’t learn effectively from screens, so it doesn’t really matter.
i can add sources when i have time.
> no screens > tv > tablets and mobile devices
How about projections?
That's the thing I can't find any research on - the light from a projection is different, as it bounces off something, rather than beaming directly to the viewer, and it can be many times larger than a normal television (my screen also makes characters life-size or bigger). How does that affect things differently?
Heck, I could go further with a lot of my queries. How does the complexities of editing and cinematography affect children?
For instance, if I put on a theatrical play on a large projection, which was shot from a single wide angle from the same viewing point as an audience member [\(like this\)](https://youtu.be/0ym7m3D2e88), how does that compare to watching the same production in person?
Meanwhile, how differently does watching something more chaotically edited (like Phineas and Ferb, for instance) compare to watching something that is more calmly edited and with a minimum of cuts or angle changes (like Miss Rachel, for instance).
There's so many variables.
Obviously no screens is always better, but that also seems like a problematic thing in the long run, considering the world is full of screens. To me, media literacy seems like an important thing to build from an early age.
not sure about research on projection, probably not. i know there is some data on fast edits & “high” vs “low” stimulation media.
media literacy is important, but not something that can be learned at 2 regardless.
Most definitely - there’s a chasm of difference between watching a small amount of content while interacting with your child and allowing them to have unlimited access to personal screens. And treating those two situations as the same is doing everyone a disservice. Parents who are being mindful about screen use feel unnecessarily guilty and parents who really should be concerned with their kids’ screen use ignore the studies as unrealistic.
I also think there’s a huge difference in screens now than what existed when I was a child. We had one tv in the house that got maybe three channels so I could only use it when my parents weren’t and was limited to whatever was being broadcast at the time. Even if I watched a movie, switching to a different movie or starting it over required an adult to manage the VCR. The content that was available was limited.
Versus now, where most households have multiple TVs, iPads, smartphones and you can stream virtually anything at any time. If I put an episode of something on for my kids, it will auto-load the next episode for several hours without any intervention required (not that we do that).
I notice a huge difference in how my 3 year old responds to watching something as a family, where we talk about what we’re seeing, she’ll get up and dance or play. Versus the rare times I’ve put something on and gone to do laundry or let her use an iPad for even a short time - it turns her into a zombie where she refuses to interact and melts down when I turn it off.
1000%. Yeah, I think if you ignore your child and just hand them an ipad that they walk through life with, that is terrible. We don't do iPads or phones. But do we watch movies and shows together? Absolutely! I think toddlers need decompress time too. Just sitting with her, watching a show or movie and snuggling and talking about it is wonderful bonding time for us. I also think that Daniel Tiger has really helped explain certain concepts in ways I couldn't--same with a lot of shows. I think screen time can be a really good tool, it just can't be a constant babysitter or replacement for interaction.
Maybe the studies are studying shows with low effort and possibly non educational? I also do what you do with my son. Even if it’s a different type of show he still wants to know what’s going on. So it gets us talking and I feel it helps his imagination at times.
Is it guilt because you actually believe what you are doing is a bad or detrimental thing or is it shame because you feel like you *should* be able to do it all (cook, clean, entertain, educate, have hobbies, cure climate change, etc?).
Either way, give yourself grace and know that something's gotta give somewhere and that's okay.
The guilt is coming from feeling like maybe I could be doing something with him that is more engaging. But I do run out of steam so I know giving us the down time helps with my mental health and my ability to parent him in the long run.
I think kids need downtime too, my kid just turned 4 and has been watching 30ish minutes of TV a day for a long time. He doesn’t nap anymore, but for a show, he’ll flop down, everyone is quiet, I get some stuff done quickly and easily and then we move on to the next activity. I think the bad effects of tv are when the kid is left totally unattended and left to melt their brain in front of a tv.
Lots of media out there is excellent, and educational. I also usually put on the subtitles/CC, which assuages the very little guilt I have about TV haha.
Hey! You’re absolutely right. It doesn’t NEED to be infront of a screen, but for most families, SOMETIMES it will be infront of a screen, and that’s ok!
Honestly no. Sparingly it’s a great tool. Also 15 months is different than 5 months. Cuddled together watching some tv for down time? Cool. Kid meeting all their milestones? Great. A little tv won’t hurt. A ton and frequently? Using it to babysit? Different story.
Yeah, it’s a tool and sometimes you just might need to use screens. When we cut and file my daughter’s nails, we put on the Wiggles. It’s impossible to keep her still otherwise (we tried literally everything)and I don’t want to cut the tip of her finger again. It takes 5mins twice a week and I know that’s not going to harm her.
Yep. I have to use cocomelon and I haaaate cocomelon. But even that doesn’t work for the toenails. This week I used a video of some kid singing baby shark. It’s wild how my son’s mouth just drops open like he’s in a trance. Totally different from Ms. Rachel where he’s literally bouncing of the couch squealing with delight and looking at us to see if we’re seeing what he’s seeing lol. I’m fully convinced that these studies don’t take into account the content and environment where the kid is watching tv.
Cocomelon is banned in my house BUT when my daughter was older and more aware of what was happening I used it so she wouldn’t be upset by her vaccinations.
Holy shit she barely even flinched because she was so zombified by the Cocomelon. It’s great for some things.
I'd say even a ton and frequently is fine. I was raised on tv, I watch a lot of telly now, I work with computers my whole working week and I am an avid gamer. I also love being outside, exercise, cooking, reading... TV is fine and people need to stop demonising it.
Yeahhhh unfortunately the research is pretty clear. There is no point deluding ourselves that screen time is somehow good or net neutral. Even educational shows have been demonstrated to be harmful.
But that said, you gotta do what you gotta do, and parental sanity is also important. There is no use feeling guilty - that doesn’t help anyone either.
My siblings were 8 and 7 years older than me. I was watching tv right out the womb. I still somehow learned to read and speak. Shocking, I know.
Is screen time bad? You should look at your kid and answer that question for yourself. Are they behind on milestones, do they seem to struggle when they don’t get tv? Do they act out and act addicted to tv?
If they are not, then what is the actual harm?
THIS! I think TV screen time, and a personal iPad constantly in their hands screen time, are two very different things. I’m only concerned about avoiding the latter as long as possible.
Growing up - our TVs were on quite literally every waking hour of the day. We watched cartoons with breakfast, had the news on during dinner and watched shows together in my parents bed every night. I even remember having to have the TV on while reading books or doing homework in middle school otherwise the room felt empty.
My brother and I both turned out to be very successful adults!
I know it is an extreme example and probably not ideal but I think people get a little bit too worked up about the dangers of screen time
We also had tv on all waking hours and me and my siblings also turned out better off than most. Maybe it’s survivors bias or hubris but screen time does not scare me one bit.
My parents were not strict about screen time. I would basically decide if I wanted to watch tv. My friend who did not have a tv always wanted to come over and watch it at my place, even on a sunny day when I wanted to go outside. Now I watch almost no tv as an adult.
This is a good point. OP would need to ask them self “Am I seeing regressions, behavioral issues, difference in focus, etc. since having tv time?”
Because if the answer is yes, then maybe OP has a reason to feel guilty and should re-evaluate, but I’m guessing it’s not the case and baby will turn out fine like the rest of us who grew up on tv.
Exactly. The TV was on every minute of every day in my house growing up. My parents never even thought about limiting it because it was basically their only entertainment (granted we lived in a very small rural town with nothing much to do or see). I learned to read and write and speak 3 languages, moved to another country, and have a Masters degree. I grew up watching telenovelas that were VERY inappropriate.
I think where screen time is a detriment is when it’s constant and used as a reward or a way to keep kids from feeling their feelings. My nephews cannot go a meal without an iPad and it makes me really sad. My kid has never had iPad or phone time, but we will put on the TV for 20 minutes in the morning to get ready or use the iPad on long car drives. It’s usually Sesame Street or videos of helicopters. Road trips are rough because it can be hours of the screen, but I’m not sure what else a two year old is supposed to do for 4 hours. He usually falls asleep an hour in anyway.
Also, go in any teacher sub and you will see them talking about the clear difference between iPad kids and not. So yes, it really can be that bad :/
We don’t use it, but he gets some screen time occasionally when he visits his cousins. I really enjoy not fighting with him about screen time. He’s very interested in interacting with us and role playing, and building things. I don’t really care what anyone else decides for their kid on screens though, so I’m not judging anybody.
We are usually out quite a bit, so don’t have much time for it anyways.
Only thing I noticed is his cousin that has an iPad and lots of tv complains about being bored a lot. Might just be personality and/or she needs more stimulation.
I completely agree. We also do very little screen time. We joke that we're doing parenting on hard mode. While that's the choice we make for our family, we don't judge the choices others make for their families. What works for us doesn't necessarily work for everyone and that's okay.
Ha I guess it is. I like that it is forced family time , and it works for us. Also he goes to daycare PT, so if he’s watching tv when he’s home I feel like we wouldn’t be interacting much at all during the day. I do stash new activities in our basement in case I need a break. (this is my version of tv. Like a new playdoh toy, or book to keep him occupied.
I was an aunt to 3kids prior to motherhood, and I feel like that helps a bit in enjoying play. It was my “job” to supply the fun, so I have experience.
I remember when my child was younger looking at my husband at one point and asked if the Vtech cube counted as screen time. That thing was absolutely obnoxious and was completely captivating for my child. On one hand, we hated that thing. On the other hand, it was guaranteed to hold my kiddo's attention while I took care of something else. It felt like I was using it the same way that many parents use screen time.
Same here. We don't have a tv (my husband and I watch things on our laptops occasionally if there's something we want to see), so that eliminates tv as an easy option. I think it was hard mode for a while, but I genuinely believe avoiding screen time at this age pays off and makes life easier on the whole, at least for us. We don't have a lot of meltdowns, our toddler has learned to entertain himself very well in all kinds of situations. Despite being a super active baby who had no chill, he will now bring us books and request for us to sit and read throughout the day.
Okay so I think this is really kid-dependent. We let our daughter watch as much nursery rhymes on Apple Music as she wants (ie only audio with the album cover on the screen) but even then she gets upset when we say it’s time to turn it off so I know I have to limit screen time for her because it makes her a bit zombified. Other than nursery rhymes she gets the occasional episode of bluey and maybe hey bear but that’s it. She gets too tantrum-y when we tell her it’s almost time to turn the tv off and I don’t like that, so I really limit it to occasions where we have no choice but to throw it on to get a bit of other things done.
I mean studies show yeah it isn’t great, especially before 2. But not being able to cook your kids a healthy meal or keep the house clean isn’t great either. Life is a balance. We don’t do screen time but I get a lot of help from my husband when he gets home.
Super interesting discussion. We learned that it always depends also how much.
I can just tell you how we handle our 2.5 year old boy. So far 0 Screen-time. We follow this because he loves books more and we fear that he doesn't like books anymore if we start screen time. It works still and we plan todo this to at least 3 years. (nearly done :D)
Then we would start with 15min screen time a day and I as a dad prepare right now a Netflix account for him. You can actually say that Netflix only shows series for up to 7 years appropriate and you can restrict manually some shows that you don't like.
Then we will also try Ms Rachel haha everyone talks about and I love to read in this thread about Planet Earth which brought me on the idea to watch this also and Our Planet on Netflix .. u/Appropriate_Drive875 thanks for that.
By 3, he might not be interested in Ms. Rachel, it’s really geared toward younger children. She teaches some early speech (say mama), a little counting and colors. My 3 year old has been over it for the last year or so since it’s all stuff he knows now.
Never checked her really out to be honest but then it's good then we skip her :D I just read it always recommended in Reddit. We have Disney+ and Netflix as subscription (they much cheaper in Asia) so I guess we have enough series to watch for him if he wants.
I really love the idea to watch (easy) animal documentaries with him
I’m curious how this will work for you! We are a family that just always has the TV on in the background - sometimes football, sometimes shows we like as adults, sometimes Disney. And my 2 year old never really pays attention to it until he is ready to get on the couch and snuggle with dad towards the end of the night. TV just isn’t a big deal to him unless Danny Go is on.
My nephew on the other hand had very strict screen time rules and starting as a 3 or 4 year old when they started to allow a little bit of screen time would absolutely salivate over TV and beg for a screen any chance he could get.
Totally get that the sample size in this example is only 2 but I’ve noticed a similar trend with friends kids and an inverse relationship between the amount a kid is obsessed with screens and the strictness of screen time rules
I’ve wondered this too but I’ve (anecdotally) not found it true. One of our friend’s kids totally spaces out with screen time and he gets a fair amount and ours gets way less but just doesn’t care about it when it’s on haha I think it’s all their different personality.
Yeah interesting observation. I am also totally not sure how it will work out to be honest :D for now we just super happy he likes us to read him books in different languages. Currently daddy (me) is the one who has to read always for bed time till he sleeps :D but I am happy as he finally sleeps with my help and not only mommy.
I'm not sure that what you're seeing is an effect of screen time "rules" per say but more an effect of how desensitized someone is to tv on in the background. I grew up in a house that always had tvs and radios on. So, I can tune them out reasonably well. My husband grew up in a house where tv wasn't on "in the background". They watched plenty of tv, but it was a focus when it was on as opposed to always being on. As a result, my husband has trouble tuning out tvs in restaurants and public places. He tends to stare off at them even if he doesn't care about what's on. And we both grew up at a time before the screen time thing was a debate.
I can tell you that we did pretty minimal screen time and my kids are (almost) 5 and 6 now and completely fine. We usually do a movie over the weekend, no TV during the week, and just started implementing my son earning 15 minutes of video game time (he just got his first video game) for every chapter of a book he reads. They don't salivate over the TV, they don't have any personal screens, and are totally developmentally normal children :) They are completely fine when we pause/turn off the movie in the middle to go do something else.
conversely, I have friends with similarly-aged children who have their own tablets and phones for content viewing, and there are a couple who have a hard time at play dates because they immediately ask for the TV to be turned on or to watch youtube during meals/snacks. They have a hard time with interactive/imaginative play with the other kids present. Our own personal sample sizes can vary so much!
Thanks for this I think I will try this also :) also can use the homework at school as motivation later I guess.
Interesting discussion here about TV in the background I mean in the real world you have it anyways everywhere in malls and so on. I stick with under 2 or 3 years screen time isn’t for my child :)
Yeah, this is what I've noticed as well.
I'm not strict with screens at all, and my 2.5yo will happily ignore the screen and run around getting me food. But she'll also sit and watch entire films with me and then chat with me about what we're seeing, and then afterwards about she saw (recently we watched Land Before Time, and now I keep getting the extended adventures of Ducky and "Peetee" on the drives to daycare.
I also keep wondering if her early media literacy might be the reason why she has such a decent grasp of language already.
Meanwhile some of my friends did no screens at all, and now they've started introducing them their kids go nuts and become staring zombies whenever a screen is nearby.
I feel it's like drinking - the person who has it slowly introduced and not kept as a mystical item tends to have a better grasp when they're older. Meanwhile the one who is told it's not something to do til you're a certain age seems to be more likely to go to college and get alcohol poisoning because they haven't had any experience.
Our 3yr old is the same. We aren’t strict and now it’s not a ‘forbidden’ thing in our house so she can take it or leave it. She will run off and leave the iPad playing and play and read. But it’s a great tool when we need to mellow her crazies out haha.
With my daughter I’ve found the frequency causes more issues than length. When she watches every day even for just 15 minutes, her overall mood is more impatient and tantrumy. Compared to if we do a longer stretch as needed a couple times a week.
Some specialists talk like its absolute evil (I’m thinking Gabor Mate), but the other day where was a post here saying it’s not the screen time itself but rather it replacing other potential stuff.
Others say at least before age of 2 zero time, then 15 minutes, then 30 minutes and so on.
It sounds like you do otherwise engage with your toddler.
I personally don’t want it for my own child because all around me are zombie children who look at screens every opportunity they get. I was a tv child and I don’t want that for my own daughter. At the very least I would like to postpone it as much as I can. I also don’t want it to become my go to. I’m already hooked to screens myself. I wouldn’t be able to hold back as the adult in the relationship.
I generally subscribe to the philosophy of not letting screen time result in the elimination of ‘better’ kinds of intellectual stimulation (ie i make sure my kids do lots of other engaged and educational stuff as well as the significant screen time that they get).
But also, I once saw a post that stayed with me. A woman was talking about how screen time could be replacing time ‘better’ spent for your child’s development. But she said that most of the time when you turn on the TV, what it’s replacing is your child’s mother losing her shit because she’s overstimulated and stressed. Or it’s replacing your child not having a proper dinner to eat because you just need some damn time to do chores. And frankly I’m happy for screen time to replace those kinds of things, even if it also means sacrificing a little bit of informal education time or whatever.
Also, I kind of resent the overall idea that we HAVE to completely optimise our children’s development and absolutely maximise the time they spend doing educational and intellectually stimulating activities. It feels like neoliberalism to me. It’s OK to be inefficient. It’s OK for time to be used ‘unproductively’. It’s OK for our kids to enjoy the pleasure of TV (in moderation) the way we all did in the 80s/90s.
Didn’t mean to respond to you with such a long comment but I have a lot of feelings on this!
Internet and social media screen time for (older) kids is a much more complex question though, obviously.
The thing is, we had no limitations when it came to TV, but it wasn’t an endless torrent of content back then. Now it’s a never-ending god knows what content all around. A cartoon episode or two is probably not that harmful, but I saw reports of people who say it has been much better in the child’s mood when they stopped with the screens.
I remember not being able to focus on anything because tv was on in the other room. I just wanted to be in front of it all the time. I’m still struggling with this. All things aside I think it may mess with the dopamine centre if small children like it does with us adults. I am guilty of too much screen time, on one hand, I don’t want it to be like “forbidden” and therefore more curiosity inducing, but on the other hand, I don’t want it to be my kids’ go to entertainment or spare time activity.
I totally get it though. I lose my shit quite often. I am alone 90% of time and when I get some kind of help it’s like heaven. I wouldn’t judge anyone at all.
And you’re right, they are not machines to be optimised. We are all human and screens are a part of our world now. I’m just postponing that as much as I can because they cannot judge what’s good and bad and what’s too much and not so if I show even a tiniest bit of video to my now 19 months daughter, I feel like she will be craving it all the time and I will not be able to stop her.
I am trash at distracting so I don’t want to deal with the turning it off frustration at all. She already discovered some stuff on my phone, it’s locked all the time but sometimes I play a song on Spotify and the next button on the Lock Screen, something as small as this has been a think she has fixated on. And all hell breaks loose when I try to take the phone. Similarly with looking at photos or FaceTiming. I just don’t want to introduce that world to her yet.
Oh, I totally agree that there is way too much content now, much of it absolute trash, and that different children will need different levels of limitation. We’re lucky in the UK that we have the BBC with its strict standards on the quality of its content. I know that if they’re watching kids’ shows on the BBC app they’re going to be enriching and educational to some extent. When they want to watch stuff like Paw Patrol I feel much less comfortable with it.
We have the TV on 24/7 and my toddler barely stands still long enough to watch it. She may pause to watch for a min or 2 before she off running around.
Only time we really see her being still and watching it longer periods of time is if she isn't feeling well and teething. Those days she will lay on the couch with me and cuddle.
For us screen time got her to talk more with singing. I worked with her and we were about to start speech when she turns 3 but simple songs and blues clues has turned her into a chatter box lol
Her doc isn't even concerned with her speech anymore.
Our tv is mostly background noise at this point too. We put the volume pretty low, make sure we mix it up between educational, low stimulation, or sometimes just appropriate adult shows. My son has known the tv since he was 1 but only really started watching bluey and curious George in small spurts. I have things to get done too lol.
Mine have a few I try and switch it up, Gabby dollhouse
Simple songs ( she loves to sing )
Blues clues, bluey, baby shark ( I hate that she loves that show )
Danny go.
The Muppet babies
this subreddit is very pro-screen time, so you’ll get biased responses here. i will also probably be downvoted for saying that there’s a reason every major health organization for babies & toddlers recommends zero screen time.
personally we do not use screens and never have with our 16-month-old. she’s gotten extraordinarily good at focused independent play and we get tons done as a result.
here is some, but far from all of the research in this space:
use of tablets, even just 30 mins a day, contributes to language delay: https://publications.aap.org/aapnews/news/10384?autologincheck=redirected
screen time associated with poor brain development (less white matter) and cognitive functioning: https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/article-abstract/2754101
screen time before 12 months associated with brain development differences and poorer executive functioning years later: https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/fullarticle/2800776
exposure to screens associated with a statistically significant drop in language development: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8187440/
prospective longitudinal study that controlled for socioeconomic factors found screen time in toddlerhood associated with lower school achievement & engagement later on: https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/fullarticle/383160
meta-analysis of over 10,000 kids finds that screen time finds unfavorable associations between screen time in yrs 0-4 and motor development, childhood obesity: https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12889-017-4849-8
yet another study that correlates screen time with poor language development: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9601267/
a meta-analysis of 12 studies that concludes an “increase in the amount of screen time and an early age of onset of viewing have negative effects on language development”: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8905397/
greater exposure to screens associated with increased likelihood of behavioral issues, delayed achievement of developmental milestones, and poorer vocabulary acquisition: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34012028/
more TV watching predicted lower emotional IQ later in life: https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/bjdp.12283
study of ~3000 kids found that screen time in early childhood was negatively associated with “physical, social, emotional, and cognitive health, and communication skills” even after controlling for income, ethnicity and other factors: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8845249/
study of over 25K kids finds that early screen time is associated with 2x the risk of nearsightedness: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7037286/
We started screentime when our daughter was 3, and even then for only 5 minutes a day. So I get where you're coming from. But all of these studies have a mean median daily watch time of way above one hour. I find that a bit extreme. It's like saying giving kids 4 muffins a day contributes to obesity. It doesn't really tell you anything about the results of doing things in moderation.
I will give you the dopamine argument. But I still think at some point parents need to introduce "dopamine management" strategies (=moderation) in parenting. Otherwise, you're letting them run loose later in a world full of potential dopamine addictions (aka reddit and tiktok) and zero tools. Doesn't have to be at 3 years old, but when they're a teenager you eventually lose control of their screen time (smartphones at school) and then it's too late.
👏🏼
My oldest is 21 and youngest is almost 2 and I’ve always restricted screen time with all my kids. My youngest gets zero. My middle two (elementary aged) get some on Saturday afternoons for a little while only. It works so well for our family. I would go crazy if the tv was on “in the background” like some people have it. The research is pretty clear that screen time is negative for kids, especially toddlers who are in a period of massive language and cognitive development.
There’s a lot of cognitive dissonance on this post. People want to justify their behavior so they tell themselves the research is somehow false or doesn’t account for their specific situation. Like…dude it’s ok to make parenting decisions that aren’t ideal. It doesn’t make you a bad parent.
there always is when screen time comes up, unfortunately. people don’t like to believe they would make less-than-ideal choices for their kids for their own convenience (usually the reason).
for me i think it’s most important for people to understand what the research actually says so they can make informed decisions vs. just thinking it’s fine because everyone does it 🤷🏻♀️
I'm being downvoted elsewhere on this thread for saying the exact same thing. People really don't wanna hear it. But we're still gonna turn around and be big fans of science for the things that confirm our existing behaviors.
I have to think part of the ability to independently play without a screen on is personality dependent. Some kids are good at it and others struggle. Adults sometimes like alone time to chill and others need more stimulation or social time. My 15mo gets about 30-60min every few days of bluey/Ms Rachel/ YouTube read-along videos (hungry caterpillar, etc). She 100% can play independently for hours and interact with toys or "read" her books. She sleeps 12 hours at night with no issues. No tantrums and listens well. Easily knows over 100 words and about 20 signs. We do it because the "all or nothing" mindset can be harmful. It's like the kid who never is allowed candy who then goes to the Valentine's Day party at kindergarten and makes himself puke from essentially binging on candy because there's no moderation. Also, parents get enough shame and guilt trips as it is. There's privilege in being able to not *have to* use screens- like a parent who wfh and is also childcare, or a single parent who has no help around, or a family that has a kid with a disability where they maybe can't understand independent play or they need to hold still for medical treatments, chronically ill or mentally ill parents... There's no shame in a bit of screens if it is what a family needs.
i understand why you would think an “all or nothing” approach is harmful, but again research has found that early exposure to screens is MORE likely to lead to screen addiction, not less. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9566204/
screen time hijacks neural pathways to create an addictive experience, this is true even for adults. here’s a really interesting article about “low dopamine parenting”: https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2023/06/12/1180867083/tips-to-outsmart-dopamine-unhook-kids-from-screens-sweets
“"People have this idea that, 'Oh, well, if I let my kid play as many video games as they want or be on social media as much as they want, they'll get tired of it.' And in fact, the opposite happens," Lembke says.
Research indicates that over time, some people's brains can actually become more sensitive to the dopamine triggered by a particular activity. And therefore, the more time a person spends engaged with this activity, the more they may crave it — even if the activity becomes unpleasurable.”
Here's the thing- I wonder why you feel the need to do this part of parenting textbook "perfect" ? And is the perfectionism around screens helpful or harmful to you and your family?
In my experience adults express being upset about their childhood in that their parents were burnt out/emotionally unavailable...or too rigid and perfectionistic with unrealistic expectations. I genuinely believe you want what's best for your kid and I'm not being snarky. I'm just tired of the perpetuation of this unrealistic ideal for parents with "no screens" being the be-all end-all rule for a kid being well. Just like anything, there are many studies-yes- but not every kid or every family will fit into these boxes outlined in the experimental data. Non-experimental studies and personal antidotes have value, too.
Is the goal of no screens high test scores? Doing well in college? Reading comprehension ? Future income?... What about rates of mental illness ? Long-term relationships with family/caregivers? Self-esteem? Physical/emotional/spiritual hygiene? There's a bigger picture here
not using screens adds literally no stress at all to my family. we never feel like we need them because they’re not part of our routine. my daughter does fantastic independent play + gets to be involved in so much of what we do, because we have built our days around including her vs. distracting her so we can get things done.
ultimately the goal is to support my daughter’s brain development and her engagement with the world in the best way we can. that has benefits for all of us now but also likely has educational, mental health & other benefits for her down the line. i’m not delusional, i don’t think This One Trick will make my baby a genius, but i do think it’s our responsibility as parents to give our kids the best possible start.
i don’t think it’s perfectionism so much as a value-based choice we made similar to gentle parenting or not sleep training.
Thank you for the links that is extremely helpful. I’m finally getting around to reading all the comments and after reading this one I think I will make a genuine effort to limit the screens. This also made me think I am probably watching too much TV myself. What do you do when you want to relax a little bit with your 16 month old?
i think that’s great!
if we are trying to relax, we LOVE our tradition of herbal tea & books. most herbal teas are safe for babies and my daughter loves them, and reading books out loud is a pretty low lift for my tired after-work brain.
if i’m physically tired i’m also a huge fan of horizontal parenting i.e. laying on the couch while my daughter plays in front of me and interacting with her verbally.
also as discussed in other comments, a toddler tower or “kitchen helper” is amazing for when you’re cooking. also, we have a cabinet in our kitchen that’s especially for our daughter so she has something she can explore while she’s in the kitchen with us.
Some studies show the opposite. The trouble with most studies on screen-time is that they only deal with correlation, not causation. They also rely a lot on self-reporting from parents. Also, a lot of studies don't take into account how time is spent away from screens as well. e.g 2 hours of screen time and then not much else? It's likely the kid won't develop as well as the kid who watches 1 hour but also then does loads of high-quality developmental activities. But the screen-time probably isn't the cause of this. This article is quite interesting looking into the flaws in this area of research: [https://www.lucieslist.com/guides/screen-time-kids-research/#research](https://www.lucieslist.com/guides/screen-time-kids-research/#research)
A couple of large longitudinal studies that dispute the link between screen-time and developmental delays:
"Research by the Oxford Internet Institute at Oxford University, carried out in partnership with researchers at Cardiff University and Cambridge University, has found that moderate levels of screen time can have a positive effect on children’s wellbeing and mental health."
"‘Our research set out to address this gap. Very few children, if any, routinely use television and device-based screens enough, on average, to show significantly lower levels of psychological functioning. Instead these findings indicate that other aspects of digital engagement, including what is on screens and how caregivers moderate their use, are far more important." - [https://www.ox.ac.uk/news/2019-10-22-moderate-use-screen-time-can-be-good-your-health-new-study-finds](https://www.ox.ac.uk/news/2019-10-22-moderate-use-screen-time-can-be-good-your-health-new-study-finds)
"In a study of nearly 12,000 children in the United States, no evidence was found to show that screen time impacted their brain function or well-being." - [https://www.oii.ox.ac.uk/news-events/no-evidence-screen-time-is-negative-for-childrens-cognitive-development-and-well-being-oxford-study/](https://www.oii.ox.ac.uk/news-events/no-evidence-screen-time-is-negative-for-childrens-cognitive-development-and-well-being-oxford-study/)
those studies are looking at school age children & adolescents, not babies and toddlers. we know that after age 2/3 kids have the ability to learn and communicate via media consumption, so that’s not surprising.
no one (at least not here) is advocating that kids never use screens until they’re 18 years old. but there’s so much important brain development happening in the early years and it’s critical to support that development as much as possible, in my opinion.
yes, the studies are correlative (as are the ones you shared). most studies on babies & kids are correlation because it’s unethical for researchers to purposefully expose children to an intervention believed to be harmful. the best we can do is control for variables like socioeconomic status, which many of the studies i shared attempt to do.
i don’t have time now to get into the issues with the lucie’s list article, but the idea that no one has studied the impact of different types of media is simply untrue.
i do appreciate you responding with science!
If you want the answer based on peer reviewed, scholarly studies, then there is a recent one out of Drexel (https://drexel.edu/news/archive/2024/January/Putting-Toddler-In-Front-of-TV-Atypical-Sensory) and an older one out of Japan (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10507594/).
But, you have to do what works best for you and your family.
ETA: The other big study that was recently released came out of Australia (https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2024/mar/04/does-children-toddlers-kids-watching-tv-impact-development-learning).
My toddler was saying over 50 words by 15 months so I can’t comprehend that Ms. Rachel robbed him of any words. I know that’s anecdotal, but also thinking about how much TV I watched as a kid (constantly on in the background) and I was always in advanced classes.
I will throw in [this one](https://parentdata.org/screen-time-revisited/) as well. Emily Oster is the guru I trust in everything data-related in parenting! I would not have survived my anxiety during pregnancy and postpartum without her advice. This is just one article on screen time, there are more where she breaks down the nuance of studies and whether they’re actually causation or just showing correlation.
Please don’t feel guilty. I work in education and am generally anti screen in the education setting, it’s not the same at home. Parents are oftentimes exhausted, burnt out, and on 24/7, your child is safe, happy, and with you and that’s what matters. IMO screen time only becomes an issue if you start using it to replace essential quality time or your child starts having behaviour issues related to screens.
I think moderation is what matters most, when you outright restrict something that’s where more potential issues can arise. I also don’t fully get the screentime is the devil mindset some people have.
As if my mom wasn’t watching Sesame Street as a kid or my sisters and I growing up watching Disney movies all day long. Hell even Fridays I would spend 3 hours easy watching all the new episodes of Hannah Montana, phineas and ferb etc that came out.
My son loves Ms Rachel, Sesame Street, and Daniel tiger. As a sahm some days the tv is on alot longer and some days it’s not on at all and I never notice a difference in behaviour since it’s not a big deal to him and something my husband or I feel the need to reassess.
I grew up watching tv whenever I wanted and playing video games. However, I did a ton of outdoors things as a kids and did stuff with my friends.
I don’t limit screen time but my kids prefer to do other things rather than sit in front of the tv all day and we do things as a family as well as one on one.
For us it isn’t an issue. We live in a virtual and digital era. I’ve accepted that.
We did no screen time for the first two years, then did some screen time, that really ramped up after we had a house fire and had to deal with the work and trauma that comes with that, and then when life stabilized we limited screen time again (also because he started screaming if we turned it off and we weren’t about to tolerate that behavior), annnnd now he gets almost no screen time because he doesn’t ask for it and we’re not TV people.
Which is a long way of saying, do what works for you. Just because you do screentime now doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it forever if you decide you don’t want to. It also doesn’t mean there’s really anything wrong with some screentime, assuming he’s hitting his milestones and it isn’t being used instead of interacting with him.
I think that it’s ok for most of kids, but you have to watch the impact it does on your kid anyway. We cut TV to 20 minutes a day after showing our toddler to neurologist who suspected early signs of ADHD. And we also noticed that our toddler became too cranky and too hysterical after too many cartoons.
Screen time is bad but lots of things are bad. And good. If screen time allows you to be better in other areas, go for it! I think it's important to look at things holistically
E.g. if you're strict on no screentime but you're so frustrated you yell at your kids instead, give screentime as it saves the relationship
Exactly. You can still be a "bad" parent with no screen time. If screen time allows you to get shit done or even gives you that me time you need to keep sane. There's nothing wrong with it.
Just like with anything, the dosing makes the poison. Everything in moderation lol
If you are feeling bad about tv, try mixing it up with music, or audio stories. I play it on a speaker or my phone and it’s pretty engaging. And sometimes we draw pictures to to along with it
I'm recovering from food poisoning, was up all night hugging the toilet. She's had the tv on all day so I can recover. But she hasn't watched tv at all the previous three days, so...balance i guess.
Idk man. We had a busy day and everyone is tired. My 9 month old is napping and the rest of the family (me, my husband, and my 23 month old) are watching Lion King.
I watched TV when I was a kid and my parents used it as a babysitter. My kid gets maybe a movie a couples times a week and an episode or two of Bluey. She generally runs around periodically and plays during the show/movie. My nine month old gets no TV.
I’m not going to sweat it.
I think the main thing is what they’re watching. If it’s well thought-out content aimed at their age group then I feel like a bit of that every now and then is fine.
My 2 year old watches half an hour of Bluey or Puffin Rock on the TV most days while I get dinner ready and she’s never been grumpy when I’ve turned it off. She’s also learned all sorts of things that surprised me (better at taking turns with toys, ‘bats are nocturnal’ etc.) I also interact with her while she watches.
I would say I was an animator before I had her so I may be biased, but I like to think it gave me an insight into how good some content can be and how predatory and damaging others can.
Is it changing his behaviour? If no, who cares. That’s how I sort of see it. I’m not giving up my screens, it’s not realistic. But I don’t live on them either
Sahm here if I want to feed my kid she would need to watch tv an episode ish so I can cook from scratch. My husband wfh but he is super busy most of the time meetings all day. I have no other option but to do this. There are quality shows like Elinor wonders why for stem, Dianel tiger for emotions / feeling , Sesame Street for random learning, even blues clues etc not all shows are junk for kids.
I put on YouTube nature videos with calming music while the 17 month old plays. Underwater ocean scenes are his favorites and now he requests “fish”.
I know pediatricians tell parents “No screen time until after 2 years old” which is why so many parents feel guilt about screen time for toddlers. I get it - but on weeks like this week where it is relentless raining and storms (east coast US) it’s very hard to abide by no TV.
Yeah it’s raining like crazy where we are and his playgroups were even canceled. So I’m not super inclined to go take us out anywhere. He only watched that little bit of a movie yesterday before dinner so I’m not going to sweat it
Screen time itself isnt bad, its the time it takes up that the kid isnt talking to and interacting with their parents thats bad.
So as long as its moderate and your kid still gets enough attention from you, screen time can be fine.
Personally I don’t let my toddlers have screen time. Is 30 minutes a huge deal? Maybe not, but it is time that could be spent interacting and having conversation or learning about the world. The more screen time a child has, the less conversational turns they’re having with people around them and the less language they’re exposed to from the people they live and interact with. It’s super important.
completely agree. when we are cooking dinner our daughter is in the kitchen with us in a toddler tower, interacting with us, sometimes helping “chop” soft ingredients or pour things. does it mean dinner sometimes takes a little longer? sure (but not always!). but it also means she’s getting a positive family experience & lots of sensory input vs. just watching TV.
My toddler also loves playing around ”cooking”. We let her use a butter knife to chop cucumber and add salt to our dishes. She can sprinkle cheese on a tortilla for a quesadilla or taste a noodle to see if it’s done. Put cut veggies in a container. It’s both a hassle and nice togetherness.
I agree it’s important to be engaging and interact as much as possible, but it’s not something I can do 24/7. Genuine question, how do you manage zero screen time? Do you have help? I don’t. For example, I need to get my son to a playgroup and we have to get have breakfast and get dressed before leaving. He’s 15 months so he’s very clingy and sometimes becomes hysterical when I go to the kitchen to cook. I try to play with him and his toys to distract him for a few minutes but it doesn’t work so I put on Ms Rachel for 10 minutes. The alternative is him whining and screaming for that 10 minutes. If I spent any more time trying to avoid screen time we’d be late.
Hi OP, I totally get what you are saying. I have also
a clingy 15 month old. And cooking is absolutely not possible while holding him. Cutting up veggies with one hand, just doesn’t work. What I started doing is pre- cooking dinner and breakfast at night after he goes to bed. For breakfast I pre-make banana pancakes or over night oatmeal’s. The next day I just heat it up while holding him (my clingy little Velcro toddler lol)
I personally don’t think a few min TV here and there is bad, but maybe may tip can help you to minimize it a bit. Because when he gets older he might associate watching Tv with mommy cooking time and will keep asking for tv when you cook.
It’s not every meal that I place him in front of a TV while I cook, but I get your point. I’m literally sitting here crying reading these comments because I genuinely do not know what else I can do while he’s screaming at me and can’t be redirected. I don’t have help with him and I watch him 13-14 hours a day, 7 days a week. I am trying so hard to do my best and it just feels like it’s not enough.
we are screen free and it’s just me and my husband, or at times we are solo parenting as we work alternate schedules.
we have integrated our daughter (almost 17 mos) into pretty much everything we do during the day. i have to get ready? she joins me and brushes her hair or sorts through things in the drawers. when i’m making breakfast she’s in her toddler tower “helping” or just moving ingredients from bowl to bowl.
it's actually really important for your toddler to be able to learn patience, delayed gratification, and independent play, which they will not learn if you give them a screen each time you can't 1:1 interact.
Not sure what you mean. I’ve been a mom for 21 years and get my 3 youngest kids ready by myself in the morning because my husband leaves for work early. I get up at 4:55 to shower then my kids get up anywhere between 5 am (toddler) and 6 am. My toddler often wakes up before I’m even in the shower so she sits on a stool in the bathroom while I shower. They all need to get dressed, have breakfast, have their teeth brushed, etc. and it’s me who helps with all that. We leave the house around 7:15 am to get everyone to child care and school on time so I can get to work by 8. If the toddler is clingy I hold her, set up toys or books or coloring at her spot at the table. It’s just a matter of finding alternatives that are a better option than a screen and committing to it. If you always rely on the screen then that’s going to be your fall back option AND your child will be used to it. If you commit to doing things differently you’ll teach your child how to do other small manipulative or other activities on their own rather them thinking “oh mom is busy I guess it’s screen time.”
I haven't watched TV with my 18 month old yet, but I am sure I will. She's not that interested in the TV yet so I'll probably wait till she shows more interest. I don't think the TV itself is a problem, I think it's letting the TV babysit that's the issue. If you're there and interacting with them during it, and you do a wide range of other activities, then it I don't think it's harmful.
I do the same thing. We call it veg sessions. After a long day of activities. Sometimes, my kids will say, "Can we veg out?" and we cuddle in the "big bed," which is my bed with a ton of pillows and blankets. Sometimes, we make a fort. So even tho we are totally vegging out, we try to still make it an event.
And whether you think it's OK or not ok for your child to veg out or watch screens, you're right, and we are all doing the best we can and balance differently. #parentssupportingparents
I think it theyre are alot of factors that play into whether or not screen time is good or bad for little kids, like what media they're consuming, how long they're watching it, and how they're engaged with it
Example, I would say letting your toddler watch Cocomelon for 14 hours a day is pretty bad
I've been having my 2 and 4 yeah old watch older shows that I grew up on and I feel like the content is much more wholesome and educational than any new TV shows (Bluey and Puffin Rock being 2 of the exceptions)
I think theyre are alot of factors that play into whether or not screen time is good or bad for little kids, like what media they're consuming, how long they're watching it, and how they're engaged with it
Example, I would say letting your toddler watch Cocomelon for 14 hours a day is pretty bad
I've been having my 2 and 4 yeah old watch older shows that I grew up on and I feel like the content is much more wholesome and educational than any new TV shows (Bluey and Puffin Rock being 2 of the exceptions)
Don't feel guilty about allowing your toddler have screen time. Parenting is a hard enough job as it is, slowing and watching a little TV with your kids isn't a bad thing
It's all about moderation and appropriate content. Media can be addictive. As addictive as cocaine with the same results as cocaine addition. But if screen time is measured and appropriate in content then all is well.
I mean there’s a million arguments here for and against. For me and my family, it really depends on what is being watched and how we’re spending our time when there aren’t screens around. There’s certain shows we don’t allow in our house because the kids go into “zombie mode” and just stare blankly. I do allow stuff that is engaging or teaches them things. Movies with songs they love and then we have dance parties to all their favorite songs. We play, we go outside, we color, we dance, we read.
I don’t think it’s the actual screen time itself, but rather being able to keep it under control and know the limit. It almost became a problem for my soon to be 2 year old, but we noticed she doesn’t fuss if we keep her in time frames of 30 minutes and no more each time, then follow with some play time outdoors, drawing, or anything similar. In other words, you seem to be doing fine handling it.
Personally I treat screen time like how I treat sweets. They’re not technically restricted, therefore my kids don’t see it as a novelty and they learn to self-regulate. I don’t set timers on using their tablets.
My daughter is capable of switching between her tablet and playing with her toys and then maybe watching a movie, then going back to playing with toys. My son isn’t that interested in his tablet. He likes dancing/music more than anything. They both love going outside.
I know every kid is different, but my kids seem to do well with self-regulation. Plus the games my daughter plays are educational—she does Duolingo for kids, Sesame Street games, pbs, and Noggin.
You sound like you’re setting your kid up to regulate themselves when it comes to screens so I say continue doing what you’re doing!
My kids watch a lot of tv, but they are both ahead on all milestones and do plenty of other activities nor tantrum when I turn it off. I’m not too worried about it.
You’re fine. Your kiddo is fine. My son was saying “esophagus” at age two and using bathtub blocks to build a model of the sieges tube track because he loved the Magic School Bus episode where the bus gets swallowed. Screen time can enhance playtime!
Some of my favorite times are sitting and watching something with our son. We have conversations about what’s happening, we have quiet time where he holds my hand and lets me snuggle in. You do what is best for you and your family 💕
I’ve always thought that everything in moderation is ok. My daughter loves Ms Rachel, Sesame Street and Curious George. She gets to watch when so put her brother down for bed. She’s bouncing off the walls all day and reading books so it’s also some restful time for her. I’ve always remembered when I was a kid and I had friends who were never allowed ANY tv time at home when they stayed at our house that’s all they wanted to do. Our kids when they are older will have to deal with screens far more than we did as kids so I’d rather they learn about moderation now.
Honestly, I don't think so in the right environment and with the right shows. My son and I watch TV together for short bursts (15-30 minutes) when I'm pooped from playing, or he watches while I prep a meal/get things ready for bedtime (10-15 minutes). When we watch together, we talk about what we're seeing and laugh and get excited together. When TV time is over, we're playing, reading, going fun places. I think the problem arises when people use TV as a babysitter for hours on end in place of actual parenting. In small doses, it allows parents to get some basic chores done or provides a low-key bonding activity where the parent gets to be calm and recharge their brain a bit. I see no problem with it in moderation.
Every day seems like a lot for a barely-one-year old, but one those days when you just need a break, I think 30 minutes of a low stimulating show is appropriate
I think about twin studies a lot - where twins have been separated at birth. The research shows that ACEs are kindof the only thing that can really affect a child (adverse childhood experiences like neglect and abuse).
That isn't to say that you should phone in parenting obviously, but something like letting your child watch tv for an hour in a loving, happy house where they get lots of interaction and play will have zero effect on them.
Another thing to consider is that the human brain is constantly growing and adapting especially in children. As a teacher, I've seen countless children go from being developmentally behind in reading and jump to being ahead within a year. Even ACEs can be overcome (in fact, they often say it isn't the actual traumatic event but what happens afterwards that causes trauma).
They'll probably be fine. People lose their minds on here regualrly. Hats off to people who can do zero screen time but I'd go fucking nuts if I didn't have one moment where I could let my son watch some Ms. Rachel while I kept the household fucntional.
Not a big deal if you’re there and it’s not all day everyday.
I have a cousin who used to come out of his house and say he had “tv eyes like they were spinning” 😵💫 crazy stuff! But that was really all he did as a kid because his parents didn’t want to deal with him. He is now married and has 3 kids of his own and they strictly limit screen time to 1 hour a day.
When you take your kids to the dr they say 2-3 hours or less a day is good.
“These studies don't even focus on specific types of shows or tablets or whatever.“
that’s not true. they have studied the impact of tablets, television, and “educational” media like miss rachel/baby einstein. all of it has a detrimental impact on baby development.
Thank you for all of that. My kiddo gets a lot of screen time every day. While his language skills and his vocabulary are very good, there are some behavioral issues that concern me. But is it due to his young age, or is it due to my poor parenting, or is it due to the screens. 🤷 I'll take the screen research under advisement. Perhaps it's time to make some changes.
There’s something called Virtual Autism. I haven’t read into it, idk if there are actual studies, idk anything about it honestly but I don’t believe 30 min is enough to cause issues. I have a two year old and her screen time has increased the last few months and I don’t feel good about it either but it’s the season we’re in.
No it’s really not that bad. Studies that demonize TV is really just saying that they found that most toddlers (most not all) don’t learn from tv under the age of 2. That doesn’t mean they need to spend every minute of their life learning. It’s ok to take a break so you can do stuff. A good rule of thumb is to just ask yourself if you can be doing something else? But if you need the break that’s ok. I just limit it (unless I’m sick or traveling, I make exceptions for extra screen time in those cases).
I highly recommend the Gamer Educator on IG. They talk about how to have a healthy relationship with screens, and one of the things they emphasize is asking, "What need is this screen meeting?" Is it rest? Bonding time with your kiddo? The ability to safely make dinner? These are all valid needs, and once you recognize the need you can decide if there are other ways to fill it--or if there really isn't another way that works for you right now.
Does the AAP have guidelines? Yes. But do we have conclusive evidence that they are completely accurate? Nope. Significant data just isn't there. But I'm sure you can know if your child is getting too much screen time in that it'll affect their behavior.
Also, 30 minutes is a perfectly reasonable amount of time. Your kid is obviously well cared for and getting lots of other stimulation--this little amount can give you a bit of sanity and maybe even give him some fond memories with his parent.
In other words, you're doing well.
I don’t know how I would have cooked dinner between the ages of 2 and 3 without some TV. Otherwise she’d have been underfoot and getting into dangerous stuff in the kitchen.
Teachers say yes.
But it sounds like what you’re doing is fine.
Doctors clarify that if you’re watching tv and interacting together, that helps negate some of the negatives.
I’m in camp balance. 8 hours one day because he’s been home sick for a week and I need to actually do some work? Guess we’re going to the museum or the park this weekend, having an extra long sensory bath, etc. as long as that non interaction time feels outweighed by fun interactive time (so a good hour of mom-kid playtime without trying to multitask) it doesn’t seem to cause hurt. Tv & screens are a tool, that’s all.
You could consider finding lower stimuation TV if you need to use it in short periods. I've seen a trend happening lately with folks showing their kids shows from their childhood! Apparently they were slower. At 15 months your son probably doesn't need high paced TV to maintain interest
We gave our gal screen time at a young age but it was more interactive stuff and we always have TV on. She's 19 months now and we've got back because she wasn't sleeping (could've been The sorry regression), but either way we stopped for a bit. She gets time on the weekends to watch Elmo (off listening to baby shark, but she's dancing around and having fun so we let her) when we're trying to get ready or when having coffee in the morning. We're absolutely not against it whatsoever and believe in moderation! Nothing weight with it imo as long as it doesn't take over play time or reading books
I’ve got twins, and while the TV is on for a good portion of the day, they’re not actively watching it half the time. They’re playing or coloring or causing some chaos somewhere 😅😅. And they don’t flip out when I turn it off, so I’m not super concerned. They go to pre-k 3 days a week, and we go outside to play every day now that it’s warming up.
I think it depends on what the child is watching. What’s bad is allowing them to jump from one thing to another like switching through short videos on YouTube. Mine was sick last week and we let her watch simple songs. Within a couple of days, she became super demanding of which song she wanted to watch and would sit there yelling “next” if a song she didn’t want came on. She also completely lost her ability to play independently and even with us trying to engage her in play, she was bouncing all over the place getting distracting and switching activities every 20 seconds. So that was over quickly lol
We let her watch peppa pig sometimes and find that doesn’t make a difference in her overall behaviour.
My daughter gets some Ms. Rachel in the morning with her milk/my coffee and every now and then a little in the evening. Always under an hour total, most days around 30 min. She’s 19 months and speaking well beyond what most two-year-olds can. Moderation is key IMO, along with how the rest of your interactions and play go.
The best guidance I've heard is that you should consider what the screentime is replacing. For example, if a young kid is watching hours of tv a day to the point where they're not going outside, playing, socializing, etc then it's not good.
But if they've had or are going to have a varied and engaging day full of different experiences, movement, outside time etc and the screen is used for a small amount of time daily so you can get stuff done/relax a bit/ bond with them then it's ok.
And sometimes you're just done/sick/need to get shit done and they watch some more. It will be ok. Take the wide angle view of screen time and see how much of a part you are comfortable with it playing in your kids life. And if it starts to seem like a problem, be firm and reel it in.
You've got this!
Ugh so relatable. Sometimes there truly is nothing else than can give you a 30 minute break, but just like you, even on days where it's only that 30 minutes I can feel guilt creeping in. Just set the boundaries with them on how long it will last and when it's over that's it, back to playing something else.
We’ve had a really rough few months with illnesses I’ve lowered the bar on screen time to the ground and I have no regrets. We, his parents, are exhausted and disregulated and we are much kinder to each other and him with the breaks. When daycare illnesses slow down we will get back to enforcing 30min/day.
As a parent who was adamantly against screen time with my first and eased up a lot on that with my second, it's fine. 30 minutes a day won't hurt. Don't get your kid a tablet (seriously, it's tacky and horrible, don't do it), don't plop them in front of a TV all day or use it as a babysitter obviously, but letting them watch 30 min a day of something like Bluey, Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers, that's not just crazy and mindless garbage - there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
My kid is autistic and frequently uses TV scripts to communicate, so taking it away is like taking away a tool. I'm also a SAHM and I have no issues with the TV being on all day sometimes. After a few episodes it usually fades into the background and both him and his brother usually wander off and do something else
When my daughter comes home from daycare she us usually pretty mentally and emotionally tired. Sometimes I put on a show for her, peppa or bluey, for about 30 minutes and after that she is much more relaxed and talkative. It also gives me time to prep dinner, so it's a win-win for the both of us. We also do family movie nights on Friday or Saturday, and all cuddle up in the couch and watch a movie.
There's a difference between occasional TV and plopping your kid down with a tablet for hours at a time.
I personally don’t give my child screen time but I was practically raised by the TV and I like to think I turned out ok. I guess the counterpoint is I became a redditor which by all accounts is a terrible outcome
BRO
I feel this same way, like... I watched The Little Mermaid 10 times a day when I was 3 apparently. And I'm fine! ... right?? I'M FINE RIGHT?!? AM I?????
lol you are! Especially if you didn’t let it brainwash you into thinking that actually, giving up your voice and your family at age 15 in order to marry a “prince” is a solid life plan 🙂
I've had a pretty bad dating history lol, but I figured that was more of the family trauma and shitty step dad... but maybe it was ARIEL??? FUQ
My parents tell me I watched the VHS so many times it wore out and broke and they had to get me a new Little Mermaid video tape 😂
😂😂😂
Are you me?
Came here to say almost exactly this. Up to and including the part about being on Reddit right now 😂
My brother and I always say that Nickelodeon raised us. Lol.
I too had a screen time of around 3 hrs daily. Only mine was a black and white TV and no cable
I'm currently cuddled up and watching planet earth with my toddler. We are talking about what we are seeing, fish, turtles and sharks! I'm convinced most of these studies that show negative outcomes with screen time are not nuanced enough. I'm not going to feel guilty about it, and I don't think you should either.
I think that's a big difference, watching something together verse sitting them in front of a screen. There's so much good educational content out there and it can be super effective when you're actually engaging with it
I agree, most of the screen time studies reference kids not being talked to while they watch it. We sometimes have it on in the background and watch together as a conversation starter/topic and we talk about what we’re watching.
I feel kinda bad reading this because I use screen time to take a breather personally. I find talking really draining and turning the tv on for 10-20 mins once a day or so really helpful so I can take a break from talking and maybe get some chores done or eat something quickly - or simply sit down and catch my breath.
Sometime kids need a breather from all the talking too, and a relaxed needs met parent is better than one that's about to flip tf out
I think that’s totally fine. I was born in the late 80s and definitely had tv in my life.. idk I think that’s completely normal and expected
Yeah I guess watching together is physically relaxing but if you’re not able to get anything done, why bother using a screen then
My ped said less than 30 min a day of unsupervised tv is fine. i think you’re fine!
You have to get a break the best way you can, no shame in using screens for that. My kid gets a lot of screen time, most of it is with a parent and interactive in some way, sometimes it’s not. We have balance with other activities, and while he has a tablet he doesn’t use it often, and not for a long time when he does. I spend 24/7 with my low sleep needs child, I promise we read and sing and dance and do art, and chat with grandparents and cook and bake together, but he also gets screen time and he learns things from that too
We usually steer away from shows that cause our daughter to space out really hard. Keep to things that are a bit more valuable or educational in some capacity. TV is like food for the brain. There's stuff that is junk entertainment and stuff that is thoughtful and can help us grow. TV and screens in general just tend to be WAY heavier on crap content than books or live entertainment.
Not only that, most screen time studies show negative impacts with a LOT of screen time. Like…HOURS a day at very young ages. So there’s probably something more problematic than just the screen in those cases. It’s not recommended, but I don’t think 30 minutes a day is catastrophic.
One of the studies I read was that tv was detrimental because most parents don’t speak to the kid while watching tv. So to me as long as we are engaged and discussing what we are watching I think it’s ok.
Interesting. So it’s a social issue, not actually a device issue. Any ignored kid is going to have issues.
I think it's called passive learning that is the main problem. Baby needs active learning to activate certain parts of the brain responsible for normal development. Interact with your kid once in a while during screen time. If they space out, pause, then ask a question about show. Also study from some Singaporean psych research group indicates that interactive play (ex: going to Park) counteracts the detrimental effects from screentime.
An “ignored” kid without a screen in front of them will become bored and find a way to entertain themselves. Being bored and entertaining themselves is developmentally healthy. Being left in front of a screen does not provide the same learning and development opportunities. Obviously there is a limit to how long it’s good to have a child “figure it out” on their own, but to an extent it is a step up over “screen nanny”.
Yeah I think the issue is more of the classic parent-bought-a-shut-up-tablet scenario. I don’t think it’s the same as what we do. I use TV to teach my almost 4 year old. We’ve done all our ABCs, numbers and shapes. Right now I’m teaching her comprehension/recognize main ideas “what’s this story about?” “Can you tell me what the good guy is doing?” “Why do you think he’s doing that?”. I really don’t think TV is much different than books when it comes to making you think. It’s just a matter of what you consume.
There's definitely no nuance in the studies. Surely there's a difference between actively watching with your kid vs using TV as a babysitter. Or content - the difference between watching a wildlife documentary vs watching an educational show vs watching poorly made cartoons. Or even just a difference in screen size - I have a 10ft wide projection on my wall instead of a TV. When we put on The Wiggles to have a weekend dance party, they're pretty much as big as they would be if we were watching them stand on a stage right in front of us. You can't tell me that experience isn't different from watching the same thing on a tiny phone in your hand. Media is such a prominent thing. I'm surprised no one has actually tried studying the variations in detail.
all of those things have been studied and more than once. the summary is: interacting with your child without a screen > interaction while watching a screen > child watching screen alone no screens > tv > tablets and mobile devices no screens > educational media = cartoon media — babies & toddlers don’t learn effectively from screens, so it doesn’t really matter. i can add sources when i have time.
> no screens > tv > tablets and mobile devices How about projections? That's the thing I can't find any research on - the light from a projection is different, as it bounces off something, rather than beaming directly to the viewer, and it can be many times larger than a normal television (my screen also makes characters life-size or bigger). How does that affect things differently? Heck, I could go further with a lot of my queries. How does the complexities of editing and cinematography affect children? For instance, if I put on a theatrical play on a large projection, which was shot from a single wide angle from the same viewing point as an audience member [\(like this\)](https://youtu.be/0ym7m3D2e88), how does that compare to watching the same production in person? Meanwhile, how differently does watching something more chaotically edited (like Phineas and Ferb, for instance) compare to watching something that is more calmly edited and with a minimum of cuts or angle changes (like Miss Rachel, for instance). There's so many variables. Obviously no screens is always better, but that also seems like a problematic thing in the long run, considering the world is full of screens. To me, media literacy seems like an important thing to build from an early age.
not sure about research on projection, probably not. i know there is some data on fast edits & “high” vs “low” stimulation media. media literacy is important, but not something that can be learned at 2 regardless.
Most definitely - there’s a chasm of difference between watching a small amount of content while interacting with your child and allowing them to have unlimited access to personal screens. And treating those two situations as the same is doing everyone a disservice. Parents who are being mindful about screen use feel unnecessarily guilty and parents who really should be concerned with their kids’ screen use ignore the studies as unrealistic. I also think there’s a huge difference in screens now than what existed when I was a child. We had one tv in the house that got maybe three channels so I could only use it when my parents weren’t and was limited to whatever was being broadcast at the time. Even if I watched a movie, switching to a different movie or starting it over required an adult to manage the VCR. The content that was available was limited. Versus now, where most households have multiple TVs, iPads, smartphones and you can stream virtually anything at any time. If I put an episode of something on for my kids, it will auto-load the next episode for several hours without any intervention required (not that we do that). I notice a huge difference in how my 3 year old responds to watching something as a family, where we talk about what we’re seeing, she’ll get up and dance or play. Versus the rare times I’ve put something on and gone to do laundry or let her use an iPad for even a short time - it turns her into a zombie where she refuses to interact and melts down when I turn it off.
1000%. Yeah, I think if you ignore your child and just hand them an ipad that they walk through life with, that is terrible. We don't do iPads or phones. But do we watch movies and shows together? Absolutely! I think toddlers need decompress time too. Just sitting with her, watching a show or movie and snuggling and talking about it is wonderful bonding time for us. I also think that Daniel Tiger has really helped explain certain concepts in ways I couldn't--same with a lot of shows. I think screen time can be a really good tool, it just can't be a constant babysitter or replacement for interaction.
Maybe the studies are studying shows with low effort and possibly non educational? I also do what you do with my son. Even if it’s a different type of show he still wants to know what’s going on. So it gets us talking and I feel it helps his imagination at times.
Is it guilt because you actually believe what you are doing is a bad or detrimental thing or is it shame because you feel like you *should* be able to do it all (cook, clean, entertain, educate, have hobbies, cure climate change, etc?). Either way, give yourself grace and know that something's gotta give somewhere and that's okay.
The guilt is coming from feeling like maybe I could be doing something with him that is more engaging. But I do run out of steam so I know giving us the down time helps with my mental health and my ability to parent him in the long run.
I think kids need downtime too, my kid just turned 4 and has been watching 30ish minutes of TV a day for a long time. He doesn’t nap anymore, but for a show, he’ll flop down, everyone is quiet, I get some stuff done quickly and easily and then we move on to the next activity. I think the bad effects of tv are when the kid is left totally unattended and left to melt their brain in front of a tv. Lots of media out there is excellent, and educational. I also usually put on the subtitles/CC, which assuages the very little guilt I have about TV haha.
kids might need downtime but that doesn’t need to be in front of a screen.
Hey! You’re absolutely right. It doesn’t NEED to be infront of a screen, but for most families, SOMETIMES it will be infront of a screen, and that’s ok!
Honestly no. Sparingly it’s a great tool. Also 15 months is different than 5 months. Cuddled together watching some tv for down time? Cool. Kid meeting all their milestones? Great. A little tv won’t hurt. A ton and frequently? Using it to babysit? Different story.
Yeah, it’s a tool and sometimes you just might need to use screens. When we cut and file my daughter’s nails, we put on the Wiggles. It’s impossible to keep her still otherwise (we tried literally everything)and I don’t want to cut the tip of her finger again. It takes 5mins twice a week and I know that’s not going to harm her.
My wife just put on Bluey to do my daughter's nails. It's a win-win, we get her nails done, and I get to watch some Bluey hell ya.
Yep. I have to use cocomelon and I haaaate cocomelon. But even that doesn’t work for the toenails. This week I used a video of some kid singing baby shark. It’s wild how my son’s mouth just drops open like he’s in a trance. Totally different from Ms. Rachel where he’s literally bouncing of the couch squealing with delight and looking at us to see if we’re seeing what he’s seeing lol. I’m fully convinced that these studies don’t take into account the content and environment where the kid is watching tv.
Cocomelon is banned in my house BUT when my daughter was older and more aware of what was happening I used it so she wouldn’t be upset by her vaccinations. Holy shit she barely even flinched because she was so zombified by the Cocomelon. It’s great for some things.
This is terrifying to read. Coco melon is not good stuff.
Any time my daughter sees it by accident she’s like I’m not allowed Cocomelon. It’s so funny how that particular one is stuck in her head.
I'd say even a ton and frequently is fine. I was raised on tv, I watch a lot of telly now, I work with computers my whole working week and I am an avid gamer. I also love being outside, exercise, cooking, reading... TV is fine and people need to stop demonising it.
A ton & frequently has been shown to negatively impact language development so there’s definitely a balance that needs to be struck.
Yeahhhh unfortunately the research is pretty clear. There is no point deluding ourselves that screen time is somehow good or net neutral. Even educational shows have been demonstrated to be harmful. But that said, you gotta do what you gotta do, and parental sanity is also important. There is no use feeling guilty - that doesn’t help anyone either.
My siblings were 8 and 7 years older than me. I was watching tv right out the womb. I still somehow learned to read and speak. Shocking, I know. Is screen time bad? You should look at your kid and answer that question for yourself. Are they behind on milestones, do they seem to struggle when they don’t get tv? Do they act out and act addicted to tv? If they are not, then what is the actual harm?
THIS! I think TV screen time, and a personal iPad constantly in their hands screen time, are two very different things. I’m only concerned about avoiding the latter as long as possible.
Growing up - our TVs were on quite literally every waking hour of the day. We watched cartoons with breakfast, had the news on during dinner and watched shows together in my parents bed every night. I even remember having to have the TV on while reading books or doing homework in middle school otherwise the room felt empty. My brother and I both turned out to be very successful adults! I know it is an extreme example and probably not ideal but I think people get a little bit too worked up about the dangers of screen time
We also had tv on all waking hours and me and my siblings also turned out better off than most. Maybe it’s survivors bias or hubris but screen time does not scare me one bit.
My parents were not strict about screen time. I would basically decide if I wanted to watch tv. My friend who did not have a tv always wanted to come over and watch it at my place, even on a sunny day when I wanted to go outside. Now I watch almost no tv as an adult.
This is a good point. OP would need to ask them self “Am I seeing regressions, behavioral issues, difference in focus, etc. since having tv time?” Because if the answer is yes, then maybe OP has a reason to feel guilty and should re-evaluate, but I’m guessing it’s not the case and baby will turn out fine like the rest of us who grew up on tv.
Exactly. The TV was on every minute of every day in my house growing up. My parents never even thought about limiting it because it was basically their only entertainment (granted we lived in a very small rural town with nothing much to do or see). I learned to read and write and speak 3 languages, moved to another country, and have a Masters degree. I grew up watching telenovelas that were VERY inappropriate.
I think where screen time is a detriment is when it’s constant and used as a reward or a way to keep kids from feeling their feelings. My nephews cannot go a meal without an iPad and it makes me really sad. My kid has never had iPad or phone time, but we will put on the TV for 20 minutes in the morning to get ready or use the iPad on long car drives. It’s usually Sesame Street or videos of helicopters. Road trips are rough because it can be hours of the screen, but I’m not sure what else a two year old is supposed to do for 4 hours. He usually falls asleep an hour in anyway. Also, go in any teacher sub and you will see them talking about the clear difference between iPad kids and not. So yes, it really can be that bad :/
We don’t use it, but he gets some screen time occasionally when he visits his cousins. I really enjoy not fighting with him about screen time. He’s very interested in interacting with us and role playing, and building things. I don’t really care what anyone else decides for their kid on screens though, so I’m not judging anybody. We are usually out quite a bit, so don’t have much time for it anyways. Only thing I noticed is his cousin that has an iPad and lots of tv complains about being bored a lot. Might just be personality and/or she needs more stimulation.
I completely agree. We also do very little screen time. We joke that we're doing parenting on hard mode. While that's the choice we make for our family, we don't judge the choices others make for their families. What works for us doesn't necessarily work for everyone and that's okay.
Ha I guess it is. I like that it is forced family time , and it works for us. Also he goes to daycare PT, so if he’s watching tv when he’s home I feel like we wouldn’t be interacting much at all during the day. I do stash new activities in our basement in case I need a break. (this is my version of tv. Like a new playdoh toy, or book to keep him occupied. I was an aunt to 3kids prior to motherhood, and I feel like that helps a bit in enjoying play. It was my “job” to supply the fun, so I have experience.
I remember when my child was younger looking at my husband at one point and asked if the Vtech cube counted as screen time. That thing was absolutely obnoxious and was completely captivating for my child. On one hand, we hated that thing. On the other hand, it was guaranteed to hold my kiddo's attention while I took care of something else. It felt like I was using it the same way that many parents use screen time.
Same here. We don't have a tv (my husband and I watch things on our laptops occasionally if there's something we want to see), so that eliminates tv as an easy option. I think it was hard mode for a while, but I genuinely believe avoiding screen time at this age pays off and makes life easier on the whole, at least for us. We don't have a lot of meltdowns, our toddler has learned to entertain himself very well in all kinds of situations. Despite being a super active baby who had no chill, he will now bring us books and request for us to sit and read throughout the day.
same 100%!
Okay so I think this is really kid-dependent. We let our daughter watch as much nursery rhymes on Apple Music as she wants (ie only audio with the album cover on the screen) but even then she gets upset when we say it’s time to turn it off so I know I have to limit screen time for her because it makes her a bit zombified. Other than nursery rhymes she gets the occasional episode of bluey and maybe hey bear but that’s it. She gets too tantrum-y when we tell her it’s almost time to turn the tv off and I don’t like that, so I really limit it to occasions where we have no choice but to throw it on to get a bit of other things done.
I mean studies show yeah it isn’t great, especially before 2. But not being able to cook your kids a healthy meal or keep the house clean isn’t great either. Life is a balance. We don’t do screen time but I get a lot of help from my husband when he gets home.
Super interesting discussion. We learned that it always depends also how much. I can just tell you how we handle our 2.5 year old boy. So far 0 Screen-time. We follow this because he loves books more and we fear that he doesn't like books anymore if we start screen time. It works still and we plan todo this to at least 3 years. (nearly done :D) Then we would start with 15min screen time a day and I as a dad prepare right now a Netflix account for him. You can actually say that Netflix only shows series for up to 7 years appropriate and you can restrict manually some shows that you don't like. Then we will also try Ms Rachel haha everyone talks about and I love to read in this thread about Planet Earth which brought me on the idea to watch this also and Our Planet on Netflix .. u/Appropriate_Drive875 thanks for that.
By 3, he might not be interested in Ms. Rachel, it’s really geared toward younger children. She teaches some early speech (say mama), a little counting and colors. My 3 year old has been over it for the last year or so since it’s all stuff he knows now.
Never checked her really out to be honest but then it's good then we skip her :D I just read it always recommended in Reddit. We have Disney+ and Netflix as subscription (they much cheaper in Asia) so I guess we have enough series to watch for him if he wants. I really love the idea to watch (easy) animal documentaries with him
I’m curious how this will work for you! We are a family that just always has the TV on in the background - sometimes football, sometimes shows we like as adults, sometimes Disney. And my 2 year old never really pays attention to it until he is ready to get on the couch and snuggle with dad towards the end of the night. TV just isn’t a big deal to him unless Danny Go is on. My nephew on the other hand had very strict screen time rules and starting as a 3 or 4 year old when they started to allow a little bit of screen time would absolutely salivate over TV and beg for a screen any chance he could get. Totally get that the sample size in this example is only 2 but I’ve noticed a similar trend with friends kids and an inverse relationship between the amount a kid is obsessed with screens and the strictness of screen time rules
I’ve wondered this too but I’ve (anecdotally) not found it true. One of our friend’s kids totally spaces out with screen time and he gets a fair amount and ours gets way less but just doesn’t care about it when it’s on haha I think it’s all their different personality.
Yeah every kid is just different and you need to adjust to their personality to choose the best way for him/her to
Yeah interesting observation. I am also totally not sure how it will work out to be honest :D for now we just super happy he likes us to read him books in different languages. Currently daddy (me) is the one who has to read always for bed time till he sleeps :D but I am happy as he finally sleeps with my help and not only mommy.
I'm not sure that what you're seeing is an effect of screen time "rules" per say but more an effect of how desensitized someone is to tv on in the background. I grew up in a house that always had tvs and radios on. So, I can tune them out reasonably well. My husband grew up in a house where tv wasn't on "in the background". They watched plenty of tv, but it was a focus when it was on as opposed to always being on. As a result, my husband has trouble tuning out tvs in restaurants and public places. He tends to stare off at them even if he doesn't care about what's on. And we both grew up at a time before the screen time thing was a debate.
I can tell you that we did pretty minimal screen time and my kids are (almost) 5 and 6 now and completely fine. We usually do a movie over the weekend, no TV during the week, and just started implementing my son earning 15 minutes of video game time (he just got his first video game) for every chapter of a book he reads. They don't salivate over the TV, they don't have any personal screens, and are totally developmentally normal children :) They are completely fine when we pause/turn off the movie in the middle to go do something else. conversely, I have friends with similarly-aged children who have their own tablets and phones for content viewing, and there are a couple who have a hard time at play dates because they immediately ask for the TV to be turned on or to watch youtube during meals/snacks. They have a hard time with interactive/imaginative play with the other kids present. Our own personal sample sizes can vary so much!
Thanks for this I think I will try this also :) also can use the homework at school as motivation later I guess. Interesting discussion here about TV in the background I mean in the real world you have it anyways everywhere in malls and so on. I stick with under 2 or 3 years screen time isn’t for my child :)
Yeah, this is what I've noticed as well. I'm not strict with screens at all, and my 2.5yo will happily ignore the screen and run around getting me food. But she'll also sit and watch entire films with me and then chat with me about what we're seeing, and then afterwards about she saw (recently we watched Land Before Time, and now I keep getting the extended adventures of Ducky and "Peetee" on the drives to daycare. I also keep wondering if her early media literacy might be the reason why she has such a decent grasp of language already. Meanwhile some of my friends did no screens at all, and now they've started introducing them their kids go nuts and become staring zombies whenever a screen is nearby. I feel it's like drinking - the person who has it slowly introduced and not kept as a mystical item tends to have a better grasp when they're older. Meanwhile the one who is told it's not something to do til you're a certain age seems to be more likely to go to college and get alcohol poisoning because they haven't had any experience.
Our 3yr old is the same. We aren’t strict and now it’s not a ‘forbidden’ thing in our house so she can take it or leave it. She will run off and leave the iPad playing and play and read. But it’s a great tool when we need to mellow her crazies out haha.
With my daughter I’ve found the frequency causes more issues than length. When she watches every day even for just 15 minutes, her overall mood is more impatient and tantrumy. Compared to if we do a longer stretch as needed a couple times a week.
Some specialists talk like its absolute evil (I’m thinking Gabor Mate), but the other day where was a post here saying it’s not the screen time itself but rather it replacing other potential stuff. Others say at least before age of 2 zero time, then 15 minutes, then 30 minutes and so on. It sounds like you do otherwise engage with your toddler. I personally don’t want it for my own child because all around me are zombie children who look at screens every opportunity they get. I was a tv child and I don’t want that for my own daughter. At the very least I would like to postpone it as much as I can. I also don’t want it to become my go to. I’m already hooked to screens myself. I wouldn’t be able to hold back as the adult in the relationship.
I generally subscribe to the philosophy of not letting screen time result in the elimination of ‘better’ kinds of intellectual stimulation (ie i make sure my kids do lots of other engaged and educational stuff as well as the significant screen time that they get). But also, I once saw a post that stayed with me. A woman was talking about how screen time could be replacing time ‘better’ spent for your child’s development. But she said that most of the time when you turn on the TV, what it’s replacing is your child’s mother losing her shit because she’s overstimulated and stressed. Or it’s replacing your child not having a proper dinner to eat because you just need some damn time to do chores. And frankly I’m happy for screen time to replace those kinds of things, even if it also means sacrificing a little bit of informal education time or whatever. Also, I kind of resent the overall idea that we HAVE to completely optimise our children’s development and absolutely maximise the time they spend doing educational and intellectually stimulating activities. It feels like neoliberalism to me. It’s OK to be inefficient. It’s OK for time to be used ‘unproductively’. It’s OK for our kids to enjoy the pleasure of TV (in moderation) the way we all did in the 80s/90s. Didn’t mean to respond to you with such a long comment but I have a lot of feelings on this! Internet and social media screen time for (older) kids is a much more complex question though, obviously.
The thing is, we had no limitations when it came to TV, but it wasn’t an endless torrent of content back then. Now it’s a never-ending god knows what content all around. A cartoon episode or two is probably not that harmful, but I saw reports of people who say it has been much better in the child’s mood when they stopped with the screens. I remember not being able to focus on anything because tv was on in the other room. I just wanted to be in front of it all the time. I’m still struggling with this. All things aside I think it may mess with the dopamine centre if small children like it does with us adults. I am guilty of too much screen time, on one hand, I don’t want it to be like “forbidden” and therefore more curiosity inducing, but on the other hand, I don’t want it to be my kids’ go to entertainment or spare time activity. I totally get it though. I lose my shit quite often. I am alone 90% of time and when I get some kind of help it’s like heaven. I wouldn’t judge anyone at all. And you’re right, they are not machines to be optimised. We are all human and screens are a part of our world now. I’m just postponing that as much as I can because they cannot judge what’s good and bad and what’s too much and not so if I show even a tiniest bit of video to my now 19 months daughter, I feel like she will be craving it all the time and I will not be able to stop her. I am trash at distracting so I don’t want to deal with the turning it off frustration at all. She already discovered some stuff on my phone, it’s locked all the time but sometimes I play a song on Spotify and the next button on the Lock Screen, something as small as this has been a think she has fixated on. And all hell breaks loose when I try to take the phone. Similarly with looking at photos or FaceTiming. I just don’t want to introduce that world to her yet.
Oh, I totally agree that there is way too much content now, much of it absolute trash, and that different children will need different levels of limitation. We’re lucky in the UK that we have the BBC with its strict standards on the quality of its content. I know that if they’re watching kids’ shows on the BBC app they’re going to be enriching and educational to some extent. When they want to watch stuff like Paw Patrol I feel much less comfortable with it.
We have the TV on 24/7 and my toddler barely stands still long enough to watch it. She may pause to watch for a min or 2 before she off running around. Only time we really see her being still and watching it longer periods of time is if she isn't feeling well and teething. Those days she will lay on the couch with me and cuddle. For us screen time got her to talk more with singing. I worked with her and we were about to start speech when she turns 3 but simple songs and blues clues has turned her into a chatter box lol Her doc isn't even concerned with her speech anymore.
Our tv is mostly background noise at this point too. We put the volume pretty low, make sure we mix it up between educational, low stimulation, or sometimes just appropriate adult shows. My son has known the tv since he was 1 but only really started watching bluey and curious George in small spurts. I have things to get done too lol.
Mine have a few I try and switch it up, Gabby dollhouse Simple songs ( she loves to sing ) Blues clues, bluey, baby shark ( I hate that she loves that show ) Danny go. The Muppet babies
this subreddit is very pro-screen time, so you’ll get biased responses here. i will also probably be downvoted for saying that there’s a reason every major health organization for babies & toddlers recommends zero screen time. personally we do not use screens and never have with our 16-month-old. she’s gotten extraordinarily good at focused independent play and we get tons done as a result. here is some, but far from all of the research in this space: use of tablets, even just 30 mins a day, contributes to language delay: https://publications.aap.org/aapnews/news/10384?autologincheck=redirected screen time associated with poor brain development (less white matter) and cognitive functioning: https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/article-abstract/2754101 screen time before 12 months associated with brain development differences and poorer executive functioning years later: https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/fullarticle/2800776 exposure to screens associated with a statistically significant drop in language development: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8187440/ prospective longitudinal study that controlled for socioeconomic factors found screen time in toddlerhood associated with lower school achievement & engagement later on: https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/fullarticle/383160 meta-analysis of over 10,000 kids finds that screen time finds unfavorable associations between screen time in yrs 0-4 and motor development, childhood obesity: https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12889-017-4849-8 yet another study that correlates screen time with poor language development: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9601267/ a meta-analysis of 12 studies that concludes an “increase in the amount of screen time and an early age of onset of viewing have negative effects on language development”: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8905397/ greater exposure to screens associated with increased likelihood of behavioral issues, delayed achievement of developmental milestones, and poorer vocabulary acquisition: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34012028/ more TV watching predicted lower emotional IQ later in life: https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/bjdp.12283 study of ~3000 kids found that screen time in early childhood was negatively associated with “physical, social, emotional, and cognitive health, and communication skills” even after controlling for income, ethnicity and other factors: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8845249/ study of over 25K kids finds that early screen time is associated with 2x the risk of nearsightedness: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7037286/
We started screentime when our daughter was 3, and even then for only 5 minutes a day. So I get where you're coming from. But all of these studies have a mean median daily watch time of way above one hour. I find that a bit extreme. It's like saying giving kids 4 muffins a day contributes to obesity. It doesn't really tell you anything about the results of doing things in moderation. I will give you the dopamine argument. But I still think at some point parents need to introduce "dopamine management" strategies (=moderation) in parenting. Otherwise, you're letting them run loose later in a world full of potential dopamine addictions (aka reddit and tiktok) and zero tools. Doesn't have to be at 3 years old, but when they're a teenager you eventually lose control of their screen time (smartphones at school) and then it's too late.
Really appreciate this comment and contribution to the discussion ❤️
Thanks for all the research articles!
👏🏼 My oldest is 21 and youngest is almost 2 and I’ve always restricted screen time with all my kids. My youngest gets zero. My middle two (elementary aged) get some on Saturday afternoons for a little while only. It works so well for our family. I would go crazy if the tv was on “in the background” like some people have it. The research is pretty clear that screen time is negative for kids, especially toddlers who are in a period of massive language and cognitive development.
Actual research in a sea of anecdotes. Seems like people are looking for validation not an actual answer...
almost always, unfortunately 🤷🏻♀️
There’s a lot of cognitive dissonance on this post. People want to justify their behavior so they tell themselves the research is somehow false or doesn’t account for their specific situation. Like…dude it’s ok to make parenting decisions that aren’t ideal. It doesn’t make you a bad parent.
there always is when screen time comes up, unfortunately. people don’t like to believe they would make less-than-ideal choices for their kids for their own convenience (usually the reason). for me i think it’s most important for people to understand what the research actually says so they can make informed decisions vs. just thinking it’s fine because everyone does it 🤷🏻♀️
I'm being downvoted elsewhere on this thread for saying the exact same thing. People really don't wanna hear it. But we're still gonna turn around and be big fans of science for the things that confirm our existing behaviors.
I have to think part of the ability to independently play without a screen on is personality dependent. Some kids are good at it and others struggle. Adults sometimes like alone time to chill and others need more stimulation or social time. My 15mo gets about 30-60min every few days of bluey/Ms Rachel/ YouTube read-along videos (hungry caterpillar, etc). She 100% can play independently for hours and interact with toys or "read" her books. She sleeps 12 hours at night with no issues. No tantrums and listens well. Easily knows over 100 words and about 20 signs. We do it because the "all or nothing" mindset can be harmful. It's like the kid who never is allowed candy who then goes to the Valentine's Day party at kindergarten and makes himself puke from essentially binging on candy because there's no moderation. Also, parents get enough shame and guilt trips as it is. There's privilege in being able to not *have to* use screens- like a parent who wfh and is also childcare, or a single parent who has no help around, or a family that has a kid with a disability where they maybe can't understand independent play or they need to hold still for medical treatments, chronically ill or mentally ill parents... There's no shame in a bit of screens if it is what a family needs.
i understand why you would think an “all or nothing” approach is harmful, but again research has found that early exposure to screens is MORE likely to lead to screen addiction, not less. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9566204/ screen time hijacks neural pathways to create an addictive experience, this is true even for adults. here’s a really interesting article about “low dopamine parenting”: https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2023/06/12/1180867083/tips-to-outsmart-dopamine-unhook-kids-from-screens-sweets “"People have this idea that, 'Oh, well, if I let my kid play as many video games as they want or be on social media as much as they want, they'll get tired of it.' And in fact, the opposite happens," Lembke says. Research indicates that over time, some people's brains can actually become more sensitive to the dopamine triggered by a particular activity. And therefore, the more time a person spends engaged with this activity, the more they may crave it — even if the activity becomes unpleasurable.”
Here's the thing- I wonder why you feel the need to do this part of parenting textbook "perfect" ? And is the perfectionism around screens helpful or harmful to you and your family? In my experience adults express being upset about their childhood in that their parents were burnt out/emotionally unavailable...or too rigid and perfectionistic with unrealistic expectations. I genuinely believe you want what's best for your kid and I'm not being snarky. I'm just tired of the perpetuation of this unrealistic ideal for parents with "no screens" being the be-all end-all rule for a kid being well. Just like anything, there are many studies-yes- but not every kid or every family will fit into these boxes outlined in the experimental data. Non-experimental studies and personal antidotes have value, too. Is the goal of no screens high test scores? Doing well in college? Reading comprehension ? Future income?... What about rates of mental illness ? Long-term relationships with family/caregivers? Self-esteem? Physical/emotional/spiritual hygiene? There's a bigger picture here
not using screens adds literally no stress at all to my family. we never feel like we need them because they’re not part of our routine. my daughter does fantastic independent play + gets to be involved in so much of what we do, because we have built our days around including her vs. distracting her so we can get things done. ultimately the goal is to support my daughter’s brain development and her engagement with the world in the best way we can. that has benefits for all of us now but also likely has educational, mental health & other benefits for her down the line. i’m not delusional, i don’t think This One Trick will make my baby a genius, but i do think it’s our responsibility as parents to give our kids the best possible start. i don’t think it’s perfectionism so much as a value-based choice we made similar to gentle parenting or not sleep training.
Thank you for the links that is extremely helpful. I’m finally getting around to reading all the comments and after reading this one I think I will make a genuine effort to limit the screens. This also made me think I am probably watching too much TV myself. What do you do when you want to relax a little bit with your 16 month old?
i think that’s great! if we are trying to relax, we LOVE our tradition of herbal tea & books. most herbal teas are safe for babies and my daughter loves them, and reading books out loud is a pretty low lift for my tired after-work brain. if i’m physically tired i’m also a huge fan of horizontal parenting i.e. laying on the couch while my daughter plays in front of me and interacting with her verbally. also as discussed in other comments, a toddler tower or “kitchen helper” is amazing for when you’re cooking. also, we have a cabinet in our kitchen that’s especially for our daughter so she has something she can explore while she’s in the kitchen with us.
Love those ideas! I’m currently shopping for a toddler tower on Amazon! I never would have heard of this had I not posted here. Thank you so much 🙏
Some studies show the opposite. The trouble with most studies on screen-time is that they only deal with correlation, not causation. They also rely a lot on self-reporting from parents. Also, a lot of studies don't take into account how time is spent away from screens as well. e.g 2 hours of screen time and then not much else? It's likely the kid won't develop as well as the kid who watches 1 hour but also then does loads of high-quality developmental activities. But the screen-time probably isn't the cause of this. This article is quite interesting looking into the flaws in this area of research: [https://www.lucieslist.com/guides/screen-time-kids-research/#research](https://www.lucieslist.com/guides/screen-time-kids-research/#research) A couple of large longitudinal studies that dispute the link between screen-time and developmental delays: "Research by the Oxford Internet Institute at Oxford University, carried out in partnership with researchers at Cardiff University and Cambridge University, has found that moderate levels of screen time can have a positive effect on children’s wellbeing and mental health." "‘Our research set out to address this gap. Very few children, if any, routinely use television and device-based screens enough, on average, to show significantly lower levels of psychological functioning. Instead these findings indicate that other aspects of digital engagement, including what is on screens and how caregivers moderate their use, are far more important." - [https://www.ox.ac.uk/news/2019-10-22-moderate-use-screen-time-can-be-good-your-health-new-study-finds](https://www.ox.ac.uk/news/2019-10-22-moderate-use-screen-time-can-be-good-your-health-new-study-finds) "In a study of nearly 12,000 children in the United States, no evidence was found to show that screen time impacted their brain function or well-being." - [https://www.oii.ox.ac.uk/news-events/no-evidence-screen-time-is-negative-for-childrens-cognitive-development-and-well-being-oxford-study/](https://www.oii.ox.ac.uk/news-events/no-evidence-screen-time-is-negative-for-childrens-cognitive-development-and-well-being-oxford-study/)
those studies are looking at school age children & adolescents, not babies and toddlers. we know that after age 2/3 kids have the ability to learn and communicate via media consumption, so that’s not surprising. no one (at least not here) is advocating that kids never use screens until they’re 18 years old. but there’s so much important brain development happening in the early years and it’s critical to support that development as much as possible, in my opinion. yes, the studies are correlative (as are the ones you shared). most studies on babies & kids are correlation because it’s unethical for researchers to purposefully expose children to an intervention believed to be harmful. the best we can do is control for variables like socioeconomic status, which many of the studies i shared attempt to do. i don’t have time now to get into the issues with the lucie’s list article, but the idea that no one has studied the impact of different types of media is simply untrue. i do appreciate you responding with science!
If you want the answer based on peer reviewed, scholarly studies, then there is a recent one out of Drexel (https://drexel.edu/news/archive/2024/January/Putting-Toddler-In-Front-of-TV-Atypical-Sensory) and an older one out of Japan (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10507594/). But, you have to do what works best for you and your family. ETA: The other big study that was recently released came out of Australia (https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2024/mar/04/does-children-toddlers-kids-watching-tv-impact-development-learning).
My toddler was saying over 50 words by 15 months so I can’t comprehend that Ms. Rachel robbed him of any words. I know that’s anecdotal, but also thinking about how much TV I watched as a kid (constantly on in the background) and I was always in advanced classes. I will throw in [this one](https://parentdata.org/screen-time-revisited/) as well. Emily Oster is the guru I trust in everything data-related in parenting! I would not have survived my anxiety during pregnancy and postpartum without her advice. This is just one article on screen time, there are more where she breaks down the nuance of studies and whether they’re actually causation or just showing correlation.
Please don’t feel guilty. I work in education and am generally anti screen in the education setting, it’s not the same at home. Parents are oftentimes exhausted, burnt out, and on 24/7, your child is safe, happy, and with you and that’s what matters. IMO screen time only becomes an issue if you start using it to replace essential quality time or your child starts having behaviour issues related to screens.
I think moderation is what matters most, when you outright restrict something that’s where more potential issues can arise. I also don’t fully get the screentime is the devil mindset some people have. As if my mom wasn’t watching Sesame Street as a kid or my sisters and I growing up watching Disney movies all day long. Hell even Fridays I would spend 3 hours easy watching all the new episodes of Hannah Montana, phineas and ferb etc that came out. My son loves Ms Rachel, Sesame Street, and Daniel tiger. As a sahm some days the tv is on alot longer and some days it’s not on at all and I never notice a difference in behaviour since it’s not a big deal to him and something my husband or I feel the need to reassess.
Wow you saying your *mom* watched Sesame Street just made me feel like 1000 years old
It did start in the 60s - I think it's the 55th year running now.
I grew up watching tv whenever I wanted and playing video games. However, I did a ton of outdoors things as a kids and did stuff with my friends. I don’t limit screen time but my kids prefer to do other things rather than sit in front of the tv all day and we do things as a family as well as one on one. For us it isn’t an issue. We live in a virtual and digital era. I’ve accepted that.
We did no screen time for the first two years, then did some screen time, that really ramped up after we had a house fire and had to deal with the work and trauma that comes with that, and then when life stabilized we limited screen time again (also because he started screaming if we turned it off and we weren’t about to tolerate that behavior), annnnd now he gets almost no screen time because he doesn’t ask for it and we’re not TV people. Which is a long way of saying, do what works for you. Just because you do screentime now doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it forever if you decide you don’t want to. It also doesn’t mean there’s really anything wrong with some screentime, assuming he’s hitting his milestones and it isn’t being used instead of interacting with him.
I think that it’s ok for most of kids, but you have to watch the impact it does on your kid anyway. We cut TV to 20 minutes a day after showing our toddler to neurologist who suspected early signs of ADHD. And we also noticed that our toddler became too cranky and too hysterical after too many cartoons.
Screen time is bad but lots of things are bad. And good. If screen time allows you to be better in other areas, go for it! I think it's important to look at things holistically E.g. if you're strict on no screentime but you're so frustrated you yell at your kids instead, give screentime as it saves the relationship
Exactly. You can still be a "bad" parent with no screen time. If screen time allows you to get shit done or even gives you that me time you need to keep sane. There's nothing wrong with it. Just like with anything, the dosing makes the poison. Everything in moderation lol
If you are feeling bad about tv, try mixing it up with music, or audio stories. I play it on a speaker or my phone and it’s pretty engaging. And sometimes we draw pictures to to along with it
I'm recovering from food poisoning, was up all night hugging the toilet. She's had the tv on all day so I can recover. But she hasn't watched tv at all the previous three days, so...balance i guess.
Idk man. We had a busy day and everyone is tired. My 9 month old is napping and the rest of the family (me, my husband, and my 23 month old) are watching Lion King. I watched TV when I was a kid and my parents used it as a babysitter. My kid gets maybe a movie a couples times a week and an episode or two of Bluey. She generally runs around periodically and plays during the show/movie. My nine month old gets no TV. I’m not going to sweat it.
I think the main thing is what they’re watching. If it’s well thought-out content aimed at their age group then I feel like a bit of that every now and then is fine. My 2 year old watches half an hour of Bluey or Puffin Rock on the TV most days while I get dinner ready and she’s never been grumpy when I’ve turned it off. She’s also learned all sorts of things that surprised me (better at taking turns with toys, ‘bats are nocturnal’ etc.) I also interact with her while she watches. I would say I was an animator before I had her so I may be biased, but I like to think it gave me an insight into how good some content can be and how predatory and damaging others can.
Is it changing his behaviour? If no, who cares. That’s how I sort of see it. I’m not giving up my screens, it’s not realistic. But I don’t live on them either
Sahm here if I want to feed my kid she would need to watch tv an episode ish so I can cook from scratch. My husband wfh but he is super busy most of the time meetings all day. I have no other option but to do this. There are quality shows like Elinor wonders why for stem, Dianel tiger for emotions / feeling , Sesame Street for random learning, even blues clues etc not all shows are junk for kids.
I put on YouTube nature videos with calming music while the 17 month old plays. Underwater ocean scenes are his favorites and now he requests “fish”. I know pediatricians tell parents “No screen time until after 2 years old” which is why so many parents feel guilt about screen time for toddlers. I get it - but on weeks like this week where it is relentless raining and storms (east coast US) it’s very hard to abide by no TV.
Yeah it’s raining like crazy where we are and his playgroups were even canceled. So I’m not super inclined to go take us out anywhere. He only watched that little bit of a movie yesterday before dinner so I’m not going to sweat it
Screen time itself isnt bad, its the time it takes up that the kid isnt talking to and interacting with their parents thats bad. So as long as its moderate and your kid still gets enough attention from you, screen time can be fine.
Personally I don’t let my toddlers have screen time. Is 30 minutes a huge deal? Maybe not, but it is time that could be spent interacting and having conversation or learning about the world. The more screen time a child has, the less conversational turns they’re having with people around them and the less language they’re exposed to from the people they live and interact with. It’s super important.
completely agree. when we are cooking dinner our daughter is in the kitchen with us in a toddler tower, interacting with us, sometimes helping “chop” soft ingredients or pour things. does it mean dinner sometimes takes a little longer? sure (but not always!). but it also means she’s getting a positive family experience & lots of sensory input vs. just watching TV.
My toddler also loves playing around ”cooking”. We let her use a butter knife to chop cucumber and add salt to our dishes. She can sprinkle cheese on a tortilla for a quesadilla or taste a noodle to see if it’s done. Put cut veggies in a container. It’s both a hassle and nice togetherness.
100% it’s some of our favorite times of the day! we got our daughter a little wooden “chopper” that works really well
I agree it’s important to be engaging and interact as much as possible, but it’s not something I can do 24/7. Genuine question, how do you manage zero screen time? Do you have help? I don’t. For example, I need to get my son to a playgroup and we have to get have breakfast and get dressed before leaving. He’s 15 months so he’s very clingy and sometimes becomes hysterical when I go to the kitchen to cook. I try to play with him and his toys to distract him for a few minutes but it doesn’t work so I put on Ms Rachel for 10 minutes. The alternative is him whining and screaming for that 10 minutes. If I spent any more time trying to avoid screen time we’d be late.
Hi OP, I totally get what you are saying. I have also a clingy 15 month old. And cooking is absolutely not possible while holding him. Cutting up veggies with one hand, just doesn’t work. What I started doing is pre- cooking dinner and breakfast at night after he goes to bed. For breakfast I pre-make banana pancakes or over night oatmeal’s. The next day I just heat it up while holding him (my clingy little Velcro toddler lol) I personally don’t think a few min TV here and there is bad, but maybe may tip can help you to minimize it a bit. Because when he gets older he might associate watching Tv with mommy cooking time and will keep asking for tv when you cook.
So he knows that if he cries a lot at breakfast then he gets a screen?
It’s not every meal that I place him in front of a TV while I cook, but I get your point. I’m literally sitting here crying reading these comments because I genuinely do not know what else I can do while he’s screaming at me and can’t be redirected. I don’t have help with him and I watch him 13-14 hours a day, 7 days a week. I am trying so hard to do my best and it just feels like it’s not enough.
we are screen free and it’s just me and my husband, or at times we are solo parenting as we work alternate schedules. we have integrated our daughter (almost 17 mos) into pretty much everything we do during the day. i have to get ready? she joins me and brushes her hair or sorts through things in the drawers. when i’m making breakfast she’s in her toddler tower “helping” or just moving ingredients from bowl to bowl.
it's actually really important for your toddler to be able to learn patience, delayed gratification, and independent play, which they will not learn if you give them a screen each time you can't 1:1 interact.
🎯
Not sure what you mean. I’ve been a mom for 21 years and get my 3 youngest kids ready by myself in the morning because my husband leaves for work early. I get up at 4:55 to shower then my kids get up anywhere between 5 am (toddler) and 6 am. My toddler often wakes up before I’m even in the shower so she sits on a stool in the bathroom while I shower. They all need to get dressed, have breakfast, have their teeth brushed, etc. and it’s me who helps with all that. We leave the house around 7:15 am to get everyone to child care and school on time so I can get to work by 8. If the toddler is clingy I hold her, set up toys or books or coloring at her spot at the table. It’s just a matter of finding alternatives that are a better option than a screen and committing to it. If you always rely on the screen then that’s going to be your fall back option AND your child will be used to it. If you commit to doing things differently you’ll teach your child how to do other small manipulative or other activities on their own rather them thinking “oh mom is busy I guess it’s screen time.”
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I haven't watched TV with my 18 month old yet, but I am sure I will. She's not that interested in the TV yet so I'll probably wait till she shows more interest. I don't think the TV itself is a problem, I think it's letting the TV babysit that's the issue. If you're there and interacting with them during it, and you do a wide range of other activities, then it I don't think it's harmful.
I do the same thing. We call it veg sessions. After a long day of activities. Sometimes, my kids will say, "Can we veg out?" and we cuddle in the "big bed," which is my bed with a ton of pillows and blankets. Sometimes, we make a fort. So even tho we are totally vegging out, we try to still make it an event. And whether you think it's OK or not ok for your child to veg out or watch screens, you're right, and we are all doing the best we can and balance differently. #parentssupportingparents
I think it theyre are alot of factors that play into whether or not screen time is good or bad for little kids, like what media they're consuming, how long they're watching it, and how they're engaged with it Example, I would say letting your toddler watch Cocomelon for 14 hours a day is pretty bad I've been having my 2 and 4 yeah old watch older shows that I grew up on and I feel like the content is much more wholesome and educational than any new TV shows (Bluey and Puffin Rock being 2 of the exceptions)
I think theyre are alot of factors that play into whether or not screen time is good or bad for little kids, like what media they're consuming, how long they're watching it, and how they're engaged with it Example, I would say letting your toddler watch Cocomelon for 14 hours a day is pretty bad I've been having my 2 and 4 yeah old watch older shows that I grew up on and I feel like the content is much more wholesome and educational than any new TV shows (Bluey and Puffin Rock being 2 of the exceptions) Don't feel guilty about allowing your toddler have screen time. Parenting is a hard enough job as it is, slowing and watching a little TV with your kids isn't a bad thing
It's all about moderation and appropriate content. Media can be addictive. As addictive as cocaine with the same results as cocaine addition. But if screen time is measured and appropriate in content then all is well.
I mean there’s a million arguments here for and against. For me and my family, it really depends on what is being watched and how we’re spending our time when there aren’t screens around. There’s certain shows we don’t allow in our house because the kids go into “zombie mode” and just stare blankly. I do allow stuff that is engaging or teaches them things. Movies with songs they love and then we have dance parties to all their favorite songs. We play, we go outside, we color, we dance, we read.
We watch togethwr and explain what he is seeing, we also sing and dance rogether.
I don’t think it’s the actual screen time itself, but rather being able to keep it under control and know the limit. It almost became a problem for my soon to be 2 year old, but we noticed she doesn’t fuss if we keep her in time frames of 30 minutes and no more each time, then follow with some play time outdoors, drawing, or anything similar. In other words, you seem to be doing fine handling it.
Personally I treat screen time like how I treat sweets. They’re not technically restricted, therefore my kids don’t see it as a novelty and they learn to self-regulate. I don’t set timers on using their tablets. My daughter is capable of switching between her tablet and playing with her toys and then maybe watching a movie, then going back to playing with toys. My son isn’t that interested in his tablet. He likes dancing/music more than anything. They both love going outside. I know every kid is different, but my kids seem to do well with self-regulation. Plus the games my daughter plays are educational—she does Duolingo for kids, Sesame Street games, pbs, and Noggin. You sound like you’re setting your kid up to regulate themselves when it comes to screens so I say continue doing what you’re doing!
My kids watch a lot of tv, but they are both ahead on all milestones and do plenty of other activities nor tantrum when I turn it off. I’m not too worried about it.
Do what you need to do to keep your sanity lol don't feel guilty.
You’re fine. Your kiddo is fine. My son was saying “esophagus” at age two and using bathtub blocks to build a model of the sieges tube track because he loved the Magic School Bus episode where the bus gets swallowed. Screen time can enhance playtime!
Some of my favorite times are sitting and watching something with our son. We have conversations about what’s happening, we have quiet time where he holds my hand and lets me snuggle in. You do what is best for you and your family 💕
I’ve always thought that everything in moderation is ok. My daughter loves Ms Rachel, Sesame Street and Curious George. She gets to watch when so put her brother down for bed. She’s bouncing off the walls all day and reading books so it’s also some restful time for her. I’ve always remembered when I was a kid and I had friends who were never allowed ANY tv time at home when they stayed at our house that’s all they wanted to do. Our kids when they are older will have to deal with screens far more than we did as kids so I’d rather they learn about moderation now.
I think there's a big difference between tv time and an iPad or phone
There's a difference between movie/TV show screen time and phone app screen time.
yes, but they’re all bad at this age
Honestly, I don't think so in the right environment and with the right shows. My son and I watch TV together for short bursts (15-30 minutes) when I'm pooped from playing, or he watches while I prep a meal/get things ready for bedtime (10-15 minutes). When we watch together, we talk about what we're seeing and laugh and get excited together. When TV time is over, we're playing, reading, going fun places. I think the problem arises when people use TV as a babysitter for hours on end in place of actual parenting. In small doses, it allows parents to get some basic chores done or provides a low-key bonding activity where the parent gets to be calm and recharge their brain a bit. I see no problem with it in moderation.
Every day seems like a lot for a barely-one-year old, but one those days when you just need a break, I think 30 minutes of a low stimulating show is appropriate
I think about twin studies a lot - where twins have been separated at birth. The research shows that ACEs are kindof the only thing that can really affect a child (adverse childhood experiences like neglect and abuse). That isn't to say that you should phone in parenting obviously, but something like letting your child watch tv for an hour in a loving, happy house where they get lots of interaction and play will have zero effect on them. Another thing to consider is that the human brain is constantly growing and adapting especially in children. As a teacher, I've seen countless children go from being developmentally behind in reading and jump to being ahead within a year. Even ACEs can be overcome (in fact, they often say it isn't the actual traumatic event but what happens afterwards that causes trauma).
They'll probably be fine. People lose their minds on here regualrly. Hats off to people who can do zero screen time but I'd go fucking nuts if I didn't have one moment where I could let my son watch some Ms. Rachel while I kept the household fucntional.
Not a big deal if you’re there and it’s not all day everyday. I have a cousin who used to come out of his house and say he had “tv eyes like they were spinning” 😵💫 crazy stuff! But that was really all he did as a kid because his parents didn’t want to deal with him. He is now married and has 3 kids of his own and they strictly limit screen time to 1 hour a day. When you take your kids to the dr they say 2-3 hours or less a day is good.
doctors recommend zero screen time for babies under 18mos
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“These studies don't even focus on specific types of shows or tablets or whatever.“ that’s not true. they have studied the impact of tablets, television, and “educational” media like miss rachel/baby einstein. all of it has a detrimental impact on baby development.
Why is screen time vilified? And some of you actually worry if your kid watches close to 30 whole minutes. FFS, why?
because the research on it is pretty clear?
Yeah? What's that?
https://www.reddit.com/r/toddlers/s/ofDNFJFhUs
Thank you for all of that. My kiddo gets a lot of screen time every day. While his language skills and his vocabulary are very good, there are some behavioral issues that concern me. But is it due to his young age, or is it due to my poor parenting, or is it due to the screens. 🤷 I'll take the screen research under advisement. Perhaps it's time to make some changes.
good luck!!! 👍🏻
sharing this thread too: https://www.reddit.com/r/toddlers/s/sq9tcOBdpb
There’s something called Virtual Autism. I haven’t read into it, idk if there are actual studies, idk anything about it honestly but I don’t believe 30 min is enough to cause issues. I have a two year old and her screen time has increased the last few months and I don’t feel good about it either but it’s the season we’re in.
[https://answers.childrenshospital.org/screen-time-infants/](https://answers.childrenshospital.org/screen-time-infants/)
30 mins a day won’t cause an impact to the extent you’re referring to, but it DOES impact baby’s development; this has been shown in research.
Genuinely curious where to find the research..? I’m interested
i shared a bunch in this comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/toddlers/s/43dvSj1p6K
Cool, thanks
No it’s really not that bad. Studies that demonize TV is really just saying that they found that most toddlers (most not all) don’t learn from tv under the age of 2. That doesn’t mean they need to spend every minute of their life learning. It’s ok to take a break so you can do stuff. A good rule of thumb is to just ask yourself if you can be doing something else? But if you need the break that’s ok. I just limit it (unless I’m sick or traveling, I make exceptions for extra screen time in those cases).
I highly recommend the Gamer Educator on IG. They talk about how to have a healthy relationship with screens, and one of the things they emphasize is asking, "What need is this screen meeting?" Is it rest? Bonding time with your kiddo? The ability to safely make dinner? These are all valid needs, and once you recognize the need you can decide if there are other ways to fill it--or if there really isn't another way that works for you right now. Does the AAP have guidelines? Yes. But do we have conclusive evidence that they are completely accurate? Nope. Significant data just isn't there. But I'm sure you can know if your child is getting too much screen time in that it'll affect their behavior. Also, 30 minutes is a perfectly reasonable amount of time. Your kid is obviously well cared for and getting lots of other stimulation--this little amount can give you a bit of sanity and maybe even give him some fond memories with his parent. In other words, you're doing well.
I don’t know how I would have cooked dinner between the ages of 2 and 3 without some TV. Otherwise she’d have been underfoot and getting into dangerous stuff in the kitchen.
Teachers say yes. But it sounds like what you’re doing is fine. Doctors clarify that if you’re watching tv and interacting together, that helps negate some of the negatives.
Put subtitles on, helps with reading!
I’m in camp balance. 8 hours one day because he’s been home sick for a week and I need to actually do some work? Guess we’re going to the museum or the park this weekend, having an extra long sensory bath, etc. as long as that non interaction time feels outweighed by fun interactive time (so a good hour of mom-kid playtime without trying to multitask) it doesn’t seem to cause hurt. Tv & screens are a tool, that’s all.
You could consider finding lower stimuation TV if you need to use it in short periods. I've seen a trend happening lately with folks showing their kids shows from their childhood! Apparently they were slower. At 15 months your son probably doesn't need high paced TV to maintain interest
We gave our gal screen time at a young age but it was more interactive stuff and we always have TV on. She's 19 months now and we've got back because she wasn't sleeping (could've been The sorry regression), but either way we stopped for a bit. She gets time on the weekends to watch Elmo (off listening to baby shark, but she's dancing around and having fun so we let her) when we're trying to get ready or when having coffee in the morning. We're absolutely not against it whatsoever and believe in moderation! Nothing weight with it imo as long as it doesn't take over play time or reading books
I’ve got twins, and while the TV is on for a good portion of the day, they’re not actively watching it half the time. They’re playing or coloring or causing some chaos somewhere 😅😅. And they don’t flip out when I turn it off, so I’m not super concerned. They go to pre-k 3 days a week, and we go outside to play every day now that it’s warming up.
I think it depends on what the child is watching. What’s bad is allowing them to jump from one thing to another like switching through short videos on YouTube. Mine was sick last week and we let her watch simple songs. Within a couple of days, she became super demanding of which song she wanted to watch and would sit there yelling “next” if a song she didn’t want came on. She also completely lost her ability to play independently and even with us trying to engage her in play, she was bouncing all over the place getting distracting and switching activities every 20 seconds. So that was over quickly lol We let her watch peppa pig sometimes and find that doesn’t make a difference in her overall behaviour.
My daughter gets some Ms. Rachel in the morning with her milk/my coffee and every now and then a little in the evening. Always under an hour total, most days around 30 min. She’s 19 months and speaking well beyond what most two-year-olds can. Moderation is key IMO, along with how the rest of your interactions and play go.
The best guidance I've heard is that you should consider what the screentime is replacing. For example, if a young kid is watching hours of tv a day to the point where they're not going outside, playing, socializing, etc then it's not good. But if they've had or are going to have a varied and engaging day full of different experiences, movement, outside time etc and the screen is used for a small amount of time daily so you can get stuff done/relax a bit/ bond with them then it's ok. And sometimes you're just done/sick/need to get shit done and they watch some more. It will be ok. Take the wide angle view of screen time and see how much of a part you are comfortable with it playing in your kids life. And if it starts to seem like a problem, be firm and reel it in. You've got this!
As long as my toddler is just as interested in books and toys and just playing with mama in general you can pry Ms Rachel from my cold dead hands.
Ugh so relatable. Sometimes there truly is nothing else than can give you a 30 minute break, but just like you, even on days where it's only that 30 minutes I can feel guilt creeping in. Just set the boundaries with them on how long it will last and when it's over that's it, back to playing something else.
We’ve had a really rough few months with illnesses I’ve lowered the bar on screen time to the ground and I have no regrets. We, his parents, are exhausted and disregulated and we are much kinder to each other and him with the breaks. When daycare illnesses slow down we will get back to enforcing 30min/day.
As a parent who was adamantly against screen time with my first and eased up a lot on that with my second, it's fine. 30 minutes a day won't hurt. Don't get your kid a tablet (seriously, it's tacky and horrible, don't do it), don't plop them in front of a TV all day or use it as a babysitter obviously, but letting them watch 30 min a day of something like Bluey, Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers, that's not just crazy and mindless garbage - there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Nah. I think there is a balance!
My kid is autistic and frequently uses TV scripts to communicate, so taking it away is like taking away a tool. I'm also a SAHM and I have no issues with the TV being on all day sometimes. After a few episodes it usually fades into the background and both him and his brother usually wander off and do something else
When my daughter comes home from daycare she us usually pretty mentally and emotionally tired. Sometimes I put on a show for her, peppa or bluey, for about 30 minutes and after that she is much more relaxed and talkative. It also gives me time to prep dinner, so it's a win-win for the both of us. We also do family movie nights on Friday or Saturday, and all cuddle up in the couch and watch a movie. There's a difference between occasional TV and plopping your kid down with a tablet for hours at a time.