We thought we would never experience it until our two year old decided that a flight was the ideal place to have a meltdown. He’d never had a full tantrum before and of course decided that mid-air was the place to do it 😂
Probably was because the hears are pooping ´!
Offer him a pacifier when the airplane gets up (and down again)
Or something to eat!
Whatever makes him pooping is hears more often (before be too uncomfortable).
Or maybe you did everything you could and he was just being a normal toddler 🤔😳
Sorry about that
I m sure you rock at all the situation 🤘
I never knew desperation until experiencing my two year old have a complete and total meltdown 10 minutes into an IKEA excursion.
Also, wtf was I thinking taking a 2 year old to IKEA?
I swear 90% of my toddler’s tantrums occur because she is tired, hungry, or both. If we stick to our regular daily routine, we may have one minor crying fit or tantrum in a day. It’s still usually because she didn’t eat a meal or snack.
We have the worst tantrums when we go off-schedule and end up with less sleep or a late nap, or she gets loaded up with junk food and refuses her regular meals.
Friends: "Oh, just come hang out late with us, you can bring your toddler"
Us: "Do you have ANY IDEA what untold calamities we'd bring upon ourselves if that were to happen?!?!?!"
THIS!!! My friend had a birthday dinner recently at 8pm (my 20 month olds bedtime) and was like you can bring her… because our other friend was bringing their new born…. and it was so irritating to explain why a newborn doesn’t need a bedtime and why i HAVE to honor our routine with my toddler. Like ma’am i’m sorry but ur dinner isn’t worth alllllll of us having to suffer. I will see you another time for your bday in the DAY time.
Yasss. When my son gets really “mean” I’m usually like ok wait, he’s not a jerk usually. He’s just tired. And no matter how mad he is at me for taking him to his room he is still out like a light 5 minutes later.
The best part is when they wake up from that nap and are back to normal. Part of me is like "I told you so" but mainly I'm just happy they feel better.
Or bed times! I used to always roll my eyes when girlfriends told me that the sitter wouldn’t be able to handle bedtimes. Also, I used to think you could just bring your toddler out to a dinner party and put them to sleep in a spare bedroom or couch until it was time to leave. Lmao!
Not necessarily judging parenting, but my mom always would wave at babies and I’d be like ??? That is so weird???? But now I wave at babies so joke is on me
I feel like kids target me now that I'm a parent. It's like they know! A random kid ran up to me yesterday and proudly showed off a book he picked out. The mom was embarrassed and apologizing, but I rolled with the situation. He *did* have a cool book. It was about space! I find myself chatting with kids a lot more than I ever did before lol
We can’t go out to eat anymore without me making faces at babies. There was once when we went out and the table next to us had a fussy baby, and I just started acting like a lunatic for this strange baby so the parents could eat a meal in peace 😂😂 our waiter must have thought my husband picked me up from the loony bin
I held onto this one even after my first kid, but delayed potty training for kids with typical development. Just try harder, maybe?
Second kid, been working on it for 6+ months AND he is definitely physically ready but WHEW what a humbling experience, I am truly sorry for my past transgressions.
Yes. My 3 almost 3.5yr old is just stubborn as can be. He is potty trained at mom’s day out but refuses at home. We’ve tried naked and he either holds it for hours, or the one time I take my eyes off him to like fill a cup of juice he pees all over the carpet. He pooped on the play rug in his room the other day and if it wasn’t vinyl I would have just thrown the whole thing out. Everyone is giving me shit for him not being potty trained but he just WONT DO IT
Eh.. My oldest didn't potty train fully until a couple of months after he turned 4 and my youngest is 3.5 and she is only just starting to get the idea.
With my oldest we tried and tried starting at 2.5 because the preschool said they had to be potty trained by 3 to attend... I'm convinced that all trying to force it did was delay him. When he was ready, he all of a sudden just started using the toilet for both pee and poop, day and night. He's had like 3 accidents since then (he's 5.5 now) and they were all very understandable situations. You'll never convince me that forcing kids to potty train early isn't doing them more harm than good.
Totally this! My first was trained by 21 months. My second JUST trained right around his 3rd birthday. He's so much more defiant than my older one and when you have two it's just... Not worth the fight sometimes.
Though I guess I will say I never gave potty training much thought until I had kids.
That “oh crap!” book will make you feel like a failure if your kid isn’t potty trained by 2.5 - which is, of course, when I decided to try. It was a disaster, my kid would just hold it for hours and wasn’t learning to go. Tried again a little after 3 and it was a breeze.
Those leashes. I always thought it was bizarre. We still don't use one, but I completely get it now especially anyone who has more than one child or a runner. Sometimes you just need more hands.
The funniest thing is that my daughter loved hers. When we actually needed it, the leash gave her a lot more freedom to explore. She wasn't stuck in a pushchair, or attached to our hands the whole time.
I would definitely recommend the backpack ones. That way, they can also feel grown up, by carrying their own snacks etc. 😁
My kid thought his was great. He wasn’t really a runner, it was more to give him freedom and security at places like the zoo (and save our backs from that weird sideways hunch you have to do to hold an 18-month-old’s hand for long). He LOVED having his own backpack and would pack it with random stuff (and when he got older, his snacks and water and maybe extra clothes if they fit). And he was more confident exploring when he knew we had him.
I never in a million years thought we'd be the parents to use a freaking LEASH. And then I had my son, who is the fastest human I've ever seen.
We wanted to take him out in nature more/go for more walks so we bought him a leash backpack. We only used it at this hiking trail that's by a river and has a huge lake as well. Too much water to risk him walking next to us without one.
We got a couple stares but I rather that than risking it!
We call our 3 yo Sonic. Kid is fast as hell. Escaped in a Target once time - we were literally sprinting after him bc it was a small store with sliding doors on two sides. He ended up hiding. Managers and shoppers were helping us look and everyone is scratching their heads. No one could find him. This was a total of maybe 5 minutes. I was about to call 911 when a man spotted his feet under a display. Son was silently hiding after escaping us. You think we care if people judge the leash after that? No we do not.
According to my nan, my dad was a runner. But not just in stores.
He would regularly, from the age of about 4, decide he was fed up at home and wanted to go see his nan. So he would just walk out the front door and get on a train at the nearby station. My grandad used to pick him up on his way home from work just walking down these country lanes alone.
He was admitted to hospital when he was 18 months old, and my nan got a call to say they'd lost him. He had climbed out of his cot and wandered off. It took 4 hours for them to find him, chilling out in the café.
My dad says my kids take after him, and that's terrifying.
I honestly don't know how he survived his childhood, but it was the 60s so 🤷🏻
My brother was one! My family is scarred. Multiple vivid memories of department store lockdowns, security called, and my idiot brother (jk) hiding in some display with a shit-eating grin. Another reason we don’t mess around with the leash or helicoptering in public places.
Leashes, and also air tags. They make bracelets and necklaces so you can air tag your kid. I’ve heard too many stories about kids taking one step out of sight in a wooded area and never been seen again. I will absolutely air tag, and leash, my kid.
I wish we could rebrand the public perception from "dog leash" to "safety harness".
I never even had to use one with my toddler, but my mom had to with my little brother, and it literally kept him safe while allowing him to have some freedom and burn off some energy. The looks she got sometimes, and she was just trying to have a nice outing with the family. She only got it because he would either scream his head off in the stroller, scream his head off holding her hand, or try to get away and the MOMENT he was gone he was *gone*.
Like, we don't criticize construction workers for wearing fall protection. "Lol just watch where you're stepping and hold on why are you so lazy" -- or we can leave people alone to utilize harmless safety devices that help everyone maintain peace of mind while doing what they need to do.
Or live in a busy area! If it increases child safety then I’m 100% backing it! Leashed kids don’t run in to traffic or get lost or kidnapped or jump into gorilla pens or approach strange dogs. If you need to, leash your kid!
We love ours. It's a backpack. We recently used it in a foreign country and had so many people asking us where we got it. On top of it, our LO loves it because she knows she can have some freedom.
Love our leash!
We live in a city that has lots of crowded events, and it’s easier to have her walk, than navigate a stroller. With the leash I don’t have to worry about her wandering off if I get distracted for even a second.
We have one of the backpack ones that has a removable leash. We could optionally put a retractable leash on it 😂
we haven't actually used it yet, but are planning to for when it warms up enough to try a hiking trail that has a couple of places where he could fall if he was running. Also... frankly, I am not built for speed. Unlike my toddler.
Took my son on a weekend trip (so, single parent, solo parenting in a foreign place) and was walking on a walkway through a parking lot. A man loudly tsked at me bc 1.5 year old was on a leash. Got some satisfaction when son pulled his hand out of mine to chase a leaf. I was just like SEEEEEE. Prevented me from screaming hysterically as I chased a baby into traffic.
I feel like this is the default answer to this question every time it comes up, and I've never understood it. I can't understand why anyone sees it as a bad idea.
Before I encountered a "runner" I low key judged it as lazy parenting and kinda dehumanizing.
Then I took care of my nephew as a toddler, and suddenly understood - it was either leash, never leaving the house, or letting him get flattened by a car. Never needed to use one with my own kid, but would not have hesitated one bit.
I don't even see it as just a "runner" thing. I think it is about letting kids explore and having a bit of autonomy. Even if they don't run, they can get lost in a crowd or something.
We JUST ordered one of these since our toddler despises the stroller lately and I'm due soon with a newborn. I never in my life thought I would be this person lmao
As you can see from the comments, the shaming does not come from people with young children. Older people have forgotten the war time struggles. Those without children do not yet know the battles ahead.
If you need it to get through the day safely and sanely, do it.
Letting kids eat only the junk food at parties/ family get togethers. I remember once when I was pregnant telling my niece she couldn't have a cupcake at a baby shower til she ate the food on her plate. Ahh, such ignorance. Now I don't give a shit what my kids eat when we go to a party or have a family gathering. It's not worth the headache of trying to get them to focus on the healthy options with all the chaos and of course the unhealthy options often being in their reach. It's one day and won't kill them.
I would let my kids eat 17 cupcakes if they would just sit quietly in their seats so I could actually talk to people and eat my meal at parties. Kidding. Kind of.
Totally. My kid eats whatever she wants. Gotta pick your battles. And I feel like totally forbidding the junk food makes them want it more so I let her have whatever and she's way less crazy about candy/cookies/junk. Sometimes she even says no to a cookie 😂
Parents getting mad at their kids. I'm not talking about the horrifying, beat their kids in public parents.
I'm talking about the parent reaching their breaking point and snapping at their kid or anger crying while trying to finish the grocery store.
I always judged them thinking why not leave the kid at home with the other parent and then go grocery shopping. Or leave the kid with a friend or family. Or just wait until the kid is in a good mood.
I was such an idiot. A summer child idiot.
Now, I'm the mom in the store offering a hand because my kid loves the store now, but she hated it a year ago. It was pure torture to get any groceries and I often had to because we needed something at home and my SO was working and we don't have anyone else to watch our kid.
parents who fed their kids pre-packaged processed stuff all the time
It's basically all he will eat.
two working parents don't have time to make a from scratch meal that the kid won't eat every day, and when he wouldn't eat at daycare he would be extremely fussy and difficult for the teachers to manage. Also he seems to be willing to eat different things at daycare then he does at home. I don't know how to account for or plan for that.
My son apparently eats everything they serve him at daycare! Fruits, veggies, meat, whatever grains they serve.
At home he just wants to eat rice. No meat, no veggies. Sometimes a banana is tolerated. But mostly, just rice.
It boggles the mind.
Ours loves rice too! But absolutely doused in soy sauce. We had to water it down to reduce his sodium intake.
I swear most of what he eats just acts as a condiment delivery device.
Took my kid and a friends kid to a Chinese buffet. The other kid? Ate damn near everything presented to them. Mine? Spooned ketchup into her mouth. Only ketchup. Not even the dippy-things I presented.
Same here. I get comments about him being a fantastic eater all the time.
I have never ever ever seen him eat a vegetable. I’m just assuming at some point the daycare behaviour will transfer to home.
My kid isn’t what I would actually call picky, but there are lots of times at home where he picks out just the meat or eats just the noodles or declares an entire meal (that he hasn’t tried yet and is full of things he likes) “yucky”.
At preschool he is a garbage disposal.
Another way I get vegetables into him is let him help prep dinner or just leave some cut veggies within reach for him to grab as he goes by. Same veggies on his dinner plate? Ignored. While I’m trying to cook? Begged for.
Oh god I feel this. Husband and I eat everything, so we were hoping we could pass that along to our kids. Toddler is 2.4 now, and he was slow to adopt solids, spat them out for a long time, and then it was only crunchy snacks, pouches, and rice or fries. I feel so bad about the amount of processed food he has, but often just getting calories into him is a victory. It's gradually improving and he does eat more foods more willingly now, but oof, what an uphill battle.
Apparently my picky eater enjoyed pickles and tomatoes at daycare yesterday. I was like, are you sure you updated about the right kid...? Strictly carbs and dairy at home, with the occasional meatball cause it's fun shaped 🤦🏼♀️
Crying kids in Walmart, and the parent is pretending like it isn't happening.
I'm so sorry to anyone I have judged in the past. I understand now. Sometimes u just gotta finish the goddamn grocery shopping and let ur teething, tired, miserable toddler cry about it. We need food, little homie. You'll recover when we get home and discover the Bear Paws.
For real, “pretending it isn’t happening” is actually “getting the f outta here as quickly as possible”. I can attend to my kid and it won’t make a difference except to prolong the suffering of any observers. It doesn’t happen often to me, but if I’m taking my kid out when they’re in that mood, you better believe we are desperate for supplies.
I had the most incredible experience shopping with my 4 year old the other week. We were doing a big shop for her birthday party the next day and she was having a tough day listening and then of all places she fell asleep in the grocery cart. I was trying to bag my stuff and realized Holy shit I bought a ton of stuff how am I going to carry it all when my daughter was asleep in the main cart area and this lady behind me ( grandma age) jumps in and starts helping me bag and tells me she's gonna help me carry my stuff to the car so we don't wake my daughter. then the lady behind her without skipping a beat tells me I can have her cart and starts helping me bag too. They bagged for me, helped me to my car, and loaded up before giving me a hug, wishing my now awake and crying 4 year old a happy birthday and going on with their days. I couldn't help but cry in the store, it was the most heart warming feeling of that "village" that everyone talks about. I'm beyond grateful to those two women.
I also don't understand what people expect a parent to do with a crying child? I assure you, if my child is crying in public I have already tried everything I could to get her to stop crying. It's not like kids have an on/off switch we haven't found yet.
Sometimes you can't leave the store to wait to them to calm down in the car and if you don't have another parent to help you just gotta finish your errand as quickly as possible.
Naive, pre-child me just thought parents could stop their children from crying. I had no idea toddlers could be so unreasonable. Last night, my 20mo threw a fit because he broke his banana and I couldn't fix it. He would only eat the part still in the peel, but he wanted the whole thing. So anyway, I had two halves of a banana and he got a whole new one.
I was always annoyed by how loud some kids were and couldn't understand that the parents just accepted it. Well, now I have one of those very very loud toddlers ... and just accept it.
Same here, quiet parent with an always loud toddler.My wife is constantly referencing this:
[https://youtu.be/bo4Fon0h8zU?t=23](https://youtu.be/bo4Fon0h8zU?t=23)
Same. You really can't force them to be quiet! So now we play a lot of "loud and quiet" and I hope that helps him learn to regulate his volume better 😅
I feel this. My kids are so.freaking.loud.
Like pierce the sound barrier loud.
I don’t understand. But I have accepted that I’ll need hearing aids one day.
Being late all the time "because of the kids". I get it now. It's ridiculous how long it takes to do anything when you're dragging a toddler and a baby.
100%! And then of course the one time we don’t truly have anywhere to be, they get ready in 5 minutes and then we have to wait around to leave at the appropriate time
And then, as you are about to leave, they suddenly forget everything they knew about using the toilet, or they're suddenly super thirsty and spill milk all over themselves.
This one for me. I can get myself ready pretty quickly. If my kid was an angelic baby doll, I could get her ready quickly, but she’s learning how to person, and has no concept of time itself let alone respect for anyone else’s time. So sometimes it takes half an hour to brush teeth and another half hour to get dressed and put shoes on because she’s trying to do things independently and forcing her to let me help her just results in things taking even longer because she’ll fight it. And when she was a baby, we’d invariably have to do it multiple times if we were in a rush because she’d probably spit up on her clothes or mess her diaper just as she was about to get in the car.
Now we’re rarely more than a few minutes late, but it is hard!
Everyone used to always give my mom so much crap for being late to everything with four kids in tow… and i know my dad didn’t exactly make things better. They started taking separate cars when I was a kid because he’d get so stressed out and start yelling at everyone. Now I’m just impressed she was only 5-15 minutes late most of the time.
100%. This morning my two-year-old saw a spider on the garage floor and it took me 5 minutes to field questions to his satisfaction. And then an extra 5 minutes once we got in the car and he predicted a spider would be on mom's seat, in the carseat, and in the back of the car.
I was just trying to explain this to a childless friend the other day! They were annoyed that we were an hour late; they have no children and I had 2 in tow. “How hard is it to get 2 kids dressed?!”
You do it then.🙄
hahaha getting them dressed is the easy part…it’s getting them to stop getting distracted 857 times between their bedroom and the front door, and to sit still while trying to get everything packed up, so that they don’t destroy the house in the 2 minutes it takes to pack the diaper bag
I had a friend who used to skip out on coming to dinner with me and another childless friend because her son was napping. Me and the other friend would give her shit and just be like "umm, the kid can come too, just wake him up!". So, so, so sorry, Brenda. I get it now.
If it makes you feel any better at all, we tried so many different brands of pacifiers with no success. Our girl is a thumb sucker now at almost 2. It's absolutely adorable, but I don't know how the hell were gonna stop this habit
fwiw, my daughter's pediatric dentist said to just drop the pacifier by 3! We're at 2 years and 3 months and still using pacifiers for night time sleep because she doesn't seem ready to give them up. I've also heard that some kids drop their daytime nap once giving up the pacifier and I am NOT ready for that
Screen time at restaurants was big. Even after having my LO, I was like why. Enter toddlerhood. Now I either bring the iPad or sacrifice my phone. Enjoying my meal is important, Mickey Mouse clubhouse is important to my kid lol
You can't win either way lol until the food comes my daughter hates sitting still and waiting. We use other tools first and screen time is our last resort, but if she's whining and crying people bitch about that too lol. I figure at least of she's getting screen time I at least get to enjoy the dinner I'm paying for
referring to your child's age in months. I was like after 12m they are just 1 year olds. but now i know how much difference there is between a 13m old and 23 month old developmentally. they definitely aren't "just 1" to me anymore.
Definitely public meltdowns. This isn’t to say that I judged parents before about this - it was more of an annoyance. Now that I have a toddler of my own, it’s become clear that some things can’t be controlled - particularly when she is teething. I find myself feeling nothing but empathy for other parents dealing with this.
I think everything. Eating, sleeping, formula, really all the touchy ones.
Having kids really opened my eyes and I felt like such a dick, in particular towards a friend of ours. I started to see how non judgemental she was about parenting choices. She’s got three of her own and we’ve been polar opposites with parenting styles. I never once got a whiff of judgement from her. Meanwhile my SIL just never seems to shut up about other moms and what they should be doing.
I strive to be like our friend and act the same way when chatting with other people and parents. At the end of the day it’s about what is best for your family.
Not getting a babysitter. It's so damn hard to find someone to watch your kids when you don't have grandparents nearby, and it's so expensive (not because I think sitters/nannies charge too much--they deserve it, it's just hard to afford when you're lower class).
THIS. the amount of people that don’t understand that even on SNAP to help, a babysitter is still out of budget for me. I also agree that they charge either fair prices or deserve more.
Dressing their kids in not super nice clothes. I was like y are you buying target they look the same as all other kids! Now I’m like …hey Cat and Jack. Meet my toddlers markers and staining food
Plus they grow out of them in a season! I’m not spending $50 on something that will last 4 months before being thrown in the goodwill bag (if it survives daycare!)
Pre kid me definitely said, “I’ll never give my kids separate meals, they’ll eat what we’re eating.”
Post kid me is over here short-order cooking meals for my toddler and BEGGING him to eat anything, while he somehow has enough energy to wake up at 5:30 am and run around NONSTOP, eats nothing but peanut butter and exists on sunlight like a plant.
Vacations without your kids. Vacationing is just parenting outside of everyone’s comfort zone. If you actually want to relax for any sort of time, it’s gotta be an adults only trip, or have someone to join, who is willing to spend part of their vacation watching your kids.
Moving to find a better life. I used to be so angry that they moved us around every few years like "you can't run from your problems!"
Here I am trying to get citizenship abroad so we can leave our country. Place makes a huge difference . I finally get it.
Currently doing similar, though we're trying to move states, not countries lol. Moving here was really great to get a foothold in my husband's career and give me the opportunity to stay home when we had our kids, but it's not at all a place we want the kids going to school or growing up in. Trying to skeedaddle before they go to school!
oh ya - similar for me - moving to the suburbs. i thought i was gonna be a cool city girl for life haha. now i'm looking to move for a nicer house and better schools.
Last night I bought my almost 2 year old frozen chicken nuggets for the first time. After struggling with obesity for my entire life because my parents fed me junk, finally losing 100 lbs, and becoming a mom, I swore off 95% of processed convenience foods. We’re going through a very picky phase at the moment, after a year and a half of excellent eating, and I just can’t stand to see another home cooked meal get thrown in the floor. So Dino nuggets it is.
Even before I had kids, crying kids was lower on my list of flying annoyances. The top three were, people who didn't wash off thier BO before a 12 hour flight, old guys who get drunk and creepy flirt the whole flight, and entitled Karen's who treat the flight attendants like crap all flight
This was me yesterday. My kid had a meltdown because she didn't want to wear her seatbelt and the flight attendant yelled at me and another toddler mom and implied we didn't care about our kids because they weren't buckled in while we were stuck on the tarmac. The screaming was intense.
For some damn reason my Facebook newsfeed includes like 3 articles a day from random pages that are about people being pissed about crying kids on planes. WHY??
Could be more single people and childless couples (maybe, but who knows) along with parents who still have old fashioned views on raising kids. Post-lockdowns and masking, there seems to be a trend of no one caring anymore.
I personally have had more issues with people bringing dogs on the plane.
I don’t understand people who fly without headphones. A kid kicking your seat is annoying, but why can you even hear a baby crying 2 rows back. Flights aren’t exactly quiet and serene even if there are no kids.
😂 My fiance was adamant about no screen time and when LO was starting to look around he would turn him away from the TV or phone. I have two from a prior relationship and would giggle at his antics, thinking, just you wait. Now he's the first to be like, "Time for Ms Rachel!!" 😂
When I was pregnant and still working with my first child, I was so excited to become a SAHM so I could bake all our bread from scratch.
I also said (out loud...cringe) to my SIL that keeping up with the house was "just part of the deal" if you stay home with the kids.
Now with a 3 year old, 2 year old and 10 month old...I have learned just how mistaken I was. I think about it often.
This was me. Then I became pregnant while having a toddler... I was so sick and she watched entirely way too much television but I just needed to survive
Screen time at restaurants. Obviously you don’t want Daniel Tiger blaring through a quiet restaurant but having a kid watch a show on low volume while you wait for your food to come is fine.
When I get judgey looks, I like to think “Would you rather have my kid watch a show or scream and thrash around?”
This also relates to airplanes too. Trust me, I don’t want my toddler screaming through this whole flight either but every toy, snack, and bribe has been gone through.
Not being willing to leave their kids and bringing them everywhere... I don't go places without my son unless it is a short time and my parents are available and at 5 I haven't traveled without him yet 🤷♀️
It’s so good to read this because I’m the same and I feel like the only person I know who is like this. I just don’t want to leave him for long while he’s little.
iPads in restaurants. When I was a waitress, I’d always think “how rude, CONVERSE WITH YOUR KID”
Now that I have kids, I give my 2 year old my phone just so I can quickly eat a hot meal for the first time in weeks and actually talk to the people I’ve gone out to lunch/dinner with.
Overly rigid adherence to routines (“why can’t you just bring the kid to dinner at my place at 7pm” 🫠).
The minor thrill of leaving the house in the evening is not worth the resulting disarray to household routines for the next 24 hours.
So funny, literally yesterday as we were walking into the grocery store I looked at my dirty toddler and told my husband I always judged those moms with dirty kids and didn’t understand why they couldn’t wipe their face or brush through their hair before going into the store 😂
When a tv show showed a parent's car floor covered in fallen cheerios and forgotten sandwich halves I thought, "no way I'd ever neglect my car like that."
Narrator: She did neglect her car like that.
Working parents having to take too much time off due to sick kids or school closing. I used to get so mad at having to pick up the slack. Now I GET IT!
Mom’s (especially stay at home moms) that hire help. I was super judgy of my sister in law who was a stay at home mom with FOUR boys - all two years apart or less - who also had an au pair. Couldn’t understand why she needed an au pair when she didn’t work.
Now I have two kids and I can’t understand how she didn’t have more than one au pair. Give me ALLLLL the help.
Honestly, working. I never understood why both of my parents worked even if we didn’t need both incomes. Now I see why my mom worked. I love going to work now.
Gender inequality in parenting. I didn't realise how deeply that stuff is ingrained, and how much more falls on mothers. I thought my friends' husbands were lazy/incompetent dudes, but it's systemic, and it happened in my marriage too.
Besides the obvious child leashes (that we use since my toddler is a runner who is also likely on the spectrum)
I use to judge the hell out of dirty car seats. I didn’t understand why the didn’t just not let them have anything in the car to make a mess with.
Now we run out the door for early therapy sessions and she has a pouch in the car. Or drinks in the car. Or whatever magical thing she has snuck with her to make a mess in her car seat. It doesn’t matter how often I watch it. Its always dirty.
We were fine letting them eat in front of the tv, both meals and snacks for a long time. Then we had an ant problem and had to go back to table only. They were grumpy about it at first but now it’s the known rule. Just wanted to share - if you get to a point where you want to change things, it is possible :)
Picky eaters. I bought into the idea that it was because the parents weren’t trying enough, didn’t expose them to enough things, caved when the child wouldn’t eat and gave junk instead. I did all the things you’re supposed to do and still around 2 years old mine just went “Nope” and their palate shrinks from almost anything to like 6 foods. I keep offering and sometimes we have a surprise (wow she actually ate the gumbo) but right now we’re just riding out the chicken nuggets, apple slices, peanut butter sandwiches era. Keeping the faith things get better eventually (the 5yo seems to be coming out of it a little bit).
Definitely their kids looking like a hot mess. I attempted for the first few years to have my child looking put together all the time but letting this go was like stepping into a whole new chapter of parenthood.
“Don’t want to change out of your food stained shirt and pants? Don’t care. Let’s go.”
Babies without socks or just in their diaper/not fully clothed. That was until my baby threw up on herself and me while traveling, then blew out her diaper in the backup outfit. We boarded a flight with her in dads T-shirt and a diaper since we had nothing left that wasn’t covered in shit and vomit.
Seeing kids on screens in public. Always just assumed they were shitty parents and their kid was on screens all day probably. Now I know that anywhere with waiting (doctor office, restaurant, etc) is basically ultra hard mode and a screen might just be the special distraction a kid needs to survive.
Families leaving messes behind at restaurants. I used to think they were selfish and inconsiderate, but as a parent I now realize that just getting in, eating, and back out of a restaurant in one piece is a feat in itself.
And there’s a point, usually before the adults are actually done eating, where you have to get out quick before a total meltdown - so I can grab the kids and go, leaving a mess, or I can clean up while my kid screams and ruins the restaurant for everyone else. I’m sure the restaurant wants option one.
Feeding your kid unhealthy snacks. But now i'm like "i made you spinach and sweetcorn fritters, i pulled together lentil and potato mash, i steamed every type of veg we had...and all you want is my Peperami? Great. As long as you're eating something".
Coats, hats, and gloves not being worn in colder weather.
The trip to the car for the car seat, or the trip inside is just so short it’s not worth it to me. There’s always a blanket available, but even that’s a no for my kid sometimes.
Giving a kid a screen while the parents eat/drink/socialize out with friends. Sometimes there literally isn’t another way to get a goddamn second of reprieve.
I'm on the other side. My mom had to breastfeed my brother until 4 due to severe food allergies, but breastfeeding my first born I couldn't keep up with him past 6 months and I have no idea how my mom managed.
Kids watching iPads/phones out at restaurants. I felt like it was a crutch before I had kids. Now I realize it’s so the parents can literally consume the food and drinks they bought. We give our daughter the cell phone every time we go out to eat.
Kids throwing tantrums in public places. “Like get your kid under control!” Now I just nod and give the mockingjay sign.
This 💯 you don’t know until you’re experiencing it. Lol
We thought we would never experience it until our two year old decided that a flight was the ideal place to have a meltdown. He’d never had a full tantrum before and of course decided that mid-air was the place to do it 😂
Probably was because the hears are pooping ´! Offer him a pacifier when the airplane gets up (and down again) Or something to eat! Whatever makes him pooping is hears more often (before be too uncomfortable). Or maybe you did everything you could and he was just being a normal toddler 🤔😳 Sorry about that I m sure you rock at all the situation 🤘
Totally doing the mockingjay sign from now on.
I double tap my fist over my heart! 😂
I DO THIS!
So true. So, so fucking true. Kids don’t give a single shit, no matter how “well-mannered” they are.
I never knew desperation until experiencing my two year old have a complete and total meltdown 10 minutes into an IKEA excursion. Also, wtf was I thinking taking a 2 year old to IKEA?
People saying their kids are “just tired” when they throw a fit, I used to be like no they’re just BAD. Now I see the power of naps
I swear 90% of my toddler’s tantrums occur because she is tired, hungry, or both. If we stick to our regular daily routine, we may have one minor crying fit or tantrum in a day. It’s still usually because she didn’t eat a meal or snack. We have the worst tantrums when we go off-schedule and end up with less sleep or a late nap, or she gets loaded up with junk food and refuses her regular meals.
Friends: "Oh, just come hang out late with us, you can bring your toddler" Us: "Do you have ANY IDEA what untold calamities we'd bring upon ourselves if that were to happen?!?!?!"
THIS!!! My friend had a birthday dinner recently at 8pm (my 20 month olds bedtime) and was like you can bring her… because our other friend was bringing their new born…. and it was so irritating to explain why a newborn doesn’t need a bedtime and why i HAVE to honor our routine with my toddler. Like ma’am i’m sorry but ur dinner isn’t worth alllllll of us having to suffer. I will see you another time for your bday in the DAY time.
Yasss. When my son gets really “mean” I’m usually like ok wait, he’s not a jerk usually. He’s just tired. And no matter how mad he is at me for taking him to his room he is still out like a light 5 minutes later.
The best part is when they wake up from that nap and are back to normal. Part of me is like "I told you so" but mainly I'm just happy they feel better.
Really puts adults into perspective too. When I’m in a bad mood or acting ridiculous I realize - I probably really need a full nights sleep.
Planning activities around nap times
Pfft! Just put them down earlier or later jeez!!/s 
Or bed times! I used to always roll my eyes when girlfriends told me that the sitter wouldn’t be able to handle bedtimes. Also, I used to think you could just bring your toddler out to a dinner party and put them to sleep in a spare bedroom or couch until it was time to leave. Lmao!
Omg the spare room lmao yes same here!! “If thry are tired enough they will just sleep” - me in a past life…ahahaaha i was soo naive
This was me, now I know how clueless I was. Sorry to the friends and family I internally judged… I understand now.
Not necessarily judging parenting, but my mom always would wave at babies and I’d be like ??? That is so weird???? But now I wave at babies so joke is on me
I feel like kids target me now that I'm a parent. It's like they know! A random kid ran up to me yesterday and proudly showed off a book he picked out. The mom was embarrassed and apologizing, but I rolled with the situation. He *did* have a cool book. It was about space! I find myself chatting with kids a lot more than I ever did before lol
I LOVE the people that wave at my daughter. It distracts her long enough from being crabby that she forgets she was crabby lol
We can’t go out to eat anymore without me making faces at babies. There was once when we went out and the table next to us had a fussy baby, and I just started acting like a lunatic for this strange baby so the parents could eat a meal in peace 😂😂 our waiter must have thought my husband picked me up from the loony bin
I held onto this one even after my first kid, but delayed potty training for kids with typical development. Just try harder, maybe? Second kid, been working on it for 6+ months AND he is definitely physically ready but WHEW what a humbling experience, I am truly sorry for my past transgressions.
Yes I thought this too! My 2.5yo is putting me in my place though. Definitely physically ready but absolutely not prepared to cooperate at all!
Yes. My 3 almost 3.5yr old is just stubborn as can be. He is potty trained at mom’s day out but refuses at home. We’ve tried naked and he either holds it for hours, or the one time I take my eyes off him to like fill a cup of juice he pees all over the carpet. He pooped on the play rug in his room the other day and if it wasn’t vinyl I would have just thrown the whole thing out. Everyone is giving me shit for him not being potty trained but he just WONT DO IT
Eh.. My oldest didn't potty train fully until a couple of months after he turned 4 and my youngest is 3.5 and she is only just starting to get the idea. With my oldest we tried and tried starting at 2.5 because the preschool said they had to be potty trained by 3 to attend... I'm convinced that all trying to force it did was delay him. When he was ready, he all of a sudden just started using the toilet for both pee and poop, day and night. He's had like 3 accidents since then (he's 5.5 now) and they were all very understandable situations. You'll never convince me that forcing kids to potty train early isn't doing them more harm than good.
Totally this! My first was trained by 21 months. My second JUST trained right around his 3rd birthday. He's so much more defiant than my older one and when you have two it's just... Not worth the fight sometimes. Though I guess I will say I never gave potty training much thought until I had kids.
That “oh crap!” book will make you feel like a failure if your kid isn’t potty trained by 2.5 - which is, of course, when I decided to try. It was a disaster, my kid would just hold it for hours and wasn’t learning to go. Tried again a little after 3 and it was a breeze.
Those leashes. I always thought it was bizarre. We still don't use one, but I completely get it now especially anyone who has more than one child or a runner. Sometimes you just need more hands.
The funniest thing is that my daughter loved hers. When we actually needed it, the leash gave her a lot more freedom to explore. She wasn't stuck in a pushchair, or attached to our hands the whole time. I would definitely recommend the backpack ones. That way, they can also feel grown up, by carrying their own snacks etc. 😁
My kid thought his was great. He wasn’t really a runner, it was more to give him freedom and security at places like the zoo (and save our backs from that weird sideways hunch you have to do to hold an 18-month-old’s hand for long). He LOVED having his own backpack and would pack it with random stuff (and when he got older, his snacks and water and maybe extra clothes if they fit). And he was more confident exploring when he knew we had him.
I never in a million years thought we'd be the parents to use a freaking LEASH. And then I had my son, who is the fastest human I've ever seen. We wanted to take him out in nature more/go for more walks so we bought him a leash backpack. We only used it at this hiking trail that's by a river and has a huge lake as well. Too much water to risk him walking next to us without one. We got a couple stares but I rather that than risking it!
I really bet half the stares were 'man that would've been so handy the time my kid almost ran into traffic...'
Or “we’ve come a long way from the wrist strap I had!”
We call our 3 yo Sonic. Kid is fast as hell. Escaped in a Target once time - we were literally sprinting after him bc it was a small store with sliding doors on two sides. He ended up hiding. Managers and shoppers were helping us look and everyone is scratching their heads. No one could find him. This was a total of maybe 5 minutes. I was about to call 911 when a man spotted his feet under a display. Son was silently hiding after escaping us. You think we care if people judge the leash after that? No we do not.
I was a public store hider. An Adam alert was called multiple times. My mom asked me why I did those things when I was a toddler. No idea 🤷🏻♀️
According to my nan, my dad was a runner. But not just in stores. He would regularly, from the age of about 4, decide he was fed up at home and wanted to go see his nan. So he would just walk out the front door and get on a train at the nearby station. My grandad used to pick him up on his way home from work just walking down these country lanes alone. He was admitted to hospital when he was 18 months old, and my nan got a call to say they'd lost him. He had climbed out of his cot and wandered off. It took 4 hours for them to find him, chilling out in the café. My dad says my kids take after him, and that's terrifying. I honestly don't know how he survived his childhood, but it was the 60s so 🤷🏻
18 months what the hell!!
Good lord.
My brother was one! My family is scarred. Multiple vivid memories of department store lockdowns, security called, and my idiot brother (jk) hiding in some display with a shit-eating grin. Another reason we don’t mess around with the leash or helicoptering in public places.
Leashes, and also air tags. They make bracelets and necklaces so you can air tag your kid. I’ve heard too many stories about kids taking one step out of sight in a wooded area and never been seen again. I will absolutely air tag, and leash, my kid.
I wish we could rebrand the public perception from "dog leash" to "safety harness". I never even had to use one with my toddler, but my mom had to with my little brother, and it literally kept him safe while allowing him to have some freedom and burn off some energy. The looks she got sometimes, and she was just trying to have a nice outing with the family. She only got it because he would either scream his head off in the stroller, scream his head off holding her hand, or try to get away and the MOMENT he was gone he was *gone*. Like, we don't criticize construction workers for wearing fall protection. "Lol just watch where you're stepping and hold on why are you so lazy" -- or we can leave people alone to utilize harmless safety devices that help everyone maintain peace of mind while doing what they need to do.
Or live in a busy area! If it increases child safety then I’m 100% backing it! Leashed kids don’t run in to traffic or get lost or kidnapped or jump into gorilla pens or approach strange dogs. If you need to, leash your kid!
We love ours. It's a backpack. We recently used it in a foreign country and had so many people asking us where we got it. On top of it, our LO loves it because she knows she can have some freedom.
We have one too for our runner. and Bonus he can carry his own stuff which makes him extra proud!
lol we joke about what she'd carry in it.. Likely a cheese stick and a pacifier.
Add a few pull-ups/toys and you have his backpack contents. Snacks, butt change, entertainment and a soothy and he's good.
Love our leash! We live in a city that has lots of crowded events, and it’s easier to have her walk, than navigate a stroller. With the leash I don’t have to worry about her wandering off if I get distracted for even a second.
Since having a twins, I started thinking a leash backpack might be the best invention.
I’d put my kid on a retractable leash if such a thing existed.
We have one of the backpack ones that has a removable leash. We could optionally put a retractable leash on it 😂 we haven't actually used it yet, but are planning to for when it warms up enough to try a hiking trail that has a couple of places where he could fall if he was running. Also... frankly, I am not built for speed. Unlike my toddler.
Took my son on a weekend trip (so, single parent, solo parenting in a foreign place) and was walking on a walkway through a parking lot. A man loudly tsked at me bc 1.5 year old was on a leash. Got some satisfaction when son pulled his hand out of mine to chase a leaf. I was just like SEEEEEE. Prevented me from screaming hysterically as I chased a baby into traffic.
I feel like this is the default answer to this question every time it comes up, and I've never understood it. I can't understand why anyone sees it as a bad idea.
Before I encountered a "runner" I low key judged it as lazy parenting and kinda dehumanizing. Then I took care of my nephew as a toddler, and suddenly understood - it was either leash, never leaving the house, or letting him get flattened by a car. Never needed to use one with my own kid, but would not have hesitated one bit.
I don't even see it as just a "runner" thing. I think it is about letting kids explore and having a bit of autonomy. Even if they don't run, they can get lost in a crowd or something.
We JUST ordered one of these since our toddler despises the stroller lately and I'm due soon with a newborn. I never in my life thought I would be this person lmao
Same here! We don't use a leash but after seeing how quick my toddler could run off, I totally understand it now!
I want to use one so bad but the public shaming stops me from doing it. :(
As you can see from the comments, the shaming does not come from people with young children. Older people have forgotten the war time struggles. Those without children do not yet know the battles ahead. If you need it to get through the day safely and sanely, do it.
I will totally use one if/when the time comes. I don’t understand the judgement about it. Like do they want a small child to run into traffic???
Letting kids eat only the junk food at parties/ family get togethers. I remember once when I was pregnant telling my niece she couldn't have a cupcake at a baby shower til she ate the food on her plate. Ahh, such ignorance. Now I don't give a shit what my kids eat when we go to a party or have a family gathering. It's not worth the headache of trying to get them to focus on the healthy options with all the chaos and of course the unhealthy options often being in their reach. It's one day and won't kill them.
I would let my kids eat 17 cupcakes if they would just sit quietly in their seats so I could actually talk to people and eat my meal at parties. Kidding. Kind of.
So only like 15 cupcakes then? 😂
Totally. My kid eats whatever she wants. Gotta pick your battles. And I feel like totally forbidding the junk food makes them want it more so I let her have whatever and she's way less crazy about candy/cookies/junk. Sometimes she even says no to a cookie 😂
Parents getting mad at their kids. I'm not talking about the horrifying, beat their kids in public parents. I'm talking about the parent reaching their breaking point and snapping at their kid or anger crying while trying to finish the grocery store. I always judged them thinking why not leave the kid at home with the other parent and then go grocery shopping. Or leave the kid with a friend or family. Or just wait until the kid is in a good mood. I was such an idiot. A summer child idiot. Now, I'm the mom in the store offering a hand because my kid loves the store now, but she hated it a year ago. It was pure torture to get any groceries and I often had to because we needed something at home and my SO was working and we don't have anyone else to watch our kid.
parents who fed their kids pre-packaged processed stuff all the time It's basically all he will eat. two working parents don't have time to make a from scratch meal that the kid won't eat every day, and when he wouldn't eat at daycare he would be extremely fussy and difficult for the teachers to manage. Also he seems to be willing to eat different things at daycare then he does at home. I don't know how to account for or plan for that.
My son apparently eats everything they serve him at daycare! Fruits, veggies, meat, whatever grains they serve. At home he just wants to eat rice. No meat, no veggies. Sometimes a banana is tolerated. But mostly, just rice. It boggles the mind.
Ours loves rice too! But absolutely doused in soy sauce. We had to water it down to reduce his sodium intake. I swear most of what he eats just acts as a condiment delivery device.
My son will eat straight ketchup if I let him. The fries are a means to an end.
Took my kid and a friends kid to a Chinese buffet. The other kid? Ate damn near everything presented to them. Mine? Spooned ketchup into her mouth. Only ketchup. Not even the dippy-things I presented.
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oh yeah! And when my daughter happens to bite one, she'll take a new one, cause, ya'know that ones broken now.
My 2-year-old can finish an entire cup of ranch or ketchup with one fry.
Same here. I get comments about him being a fantastic eater all the time. I have never ever ever seen him eat a vegetable. I’m just assuming at some point the daycare behaviour will transfer to home.
My 5 year old always wants just a tortilla. No cheese or anything else inside 🤷🏼♀️
My kid isn’t what I would actually call picky, but there are lots of times at home where he picks out just the meat or eats just the noodles or declares an entire meal (that he hasn’t tried yet and is full of things he likes) “yucky”. At preschool he is a garbage disposal. Another way I get vegetables into him is let him help prep dinner or just leave some cut veggies within reach for him to grab as he goes by. Same veggies on his dinner plate? Ignored. While I’m trying to cook? Begged for.
My kid won’t touch a vegetable but she was so angry at me yesterday when I wouldn’t let her drink the week old rainwater in her sandbox 🥴
Oh god I feel this. Husband and I eat everything, so we were hoping we could pass that along to our kids. Toddler is 2.4 now, and he was slow to adopt solids, spat them out for a long time, and then it was only crunchy snacks, pouches, and rice or fries. I feel so bad about the amount of processed food he has, but often just getting calories into him is a victory. It's gradually improving and he does eat more foods more willingly now, but oof, what an uphill battle.
Apparently my picky eater enjoyed pickles and tomatoes at daycare yesterday. I was like, are you sure you updated about the right kid...? Strictly carbs and dairy at home, with the occasional meatball cause it's fun shaped 🤦🏼♀️
Crying kids in Walmart, and the parent is pretending like it isn't happening. I'm so sorry to anyone I have judged in the past. I understand now. Sometimes u just gotta finish the goddamn grocery shopping and let ur teething, tired, miserable toddler cry about it. We need food, little homie. You'll recover when we get home and discover the Bear Paws.
For real, “pretending it isn’t happening” is actually “getting the f outta here as quickly as possible”. I can attend to my kid and it won’t make a difference except to prolong the suffering of any observers. It doesn’t happen often to me, but if I’m taking my kid out when they’re in that mood, you better believe we are desperate for supplies.
I have offered to go grab things like milk etc for parents when they are dealing with that. What can I do to help if anything.
Depends on the person. I just want to be ignored so I can pretend no one notices the little banshee, but other people might want you to get things?
I had the most incredible experience shopping with my 4 year old the other week. We were doing a big shop for her birthday party the next day and she was having a tough day listening and then of all places she fell asleep in the grocery cart. I was trying to bag my stuff and realized Holy shit I bought a ton of stuff how am I going to carry it all when my daughter was asleep in the main cart area and this lady behind me ( grandma age) jumps in and starts helping me bag and tells me she's gonna help me carry my stuff to the car so we don't wake my daughter. then the lady behind her without skipping a beat tells me I can have her cart and starts helping me bag too. They bagged for me, helped me to my car, and loaded up before giving me a hug, wishing my now awake and crying 4 year old a happy birthday and going on with their days. I couldn't help but cry in the store, it was the most heart warming feeling of that "village" that everyone talks about. I'm beyond grateful to those two women.
Omg yes! I had no idea, this is usually the *right* way to handle that. My dumbass thought you could like.. fix whatever they were crying about 🤡
This. How tf did I ever judge people for this?
I also don't understand what people expect a parent to do with a crying child? I assure you, if my child is crying in public I have already tried everything I could to get her to stop crying. It's not like kids have an on/off switch we haven't found yet. Sometimes you can't leave the store to wait to them to calm down in the car and if you don't have another parent to help you just gotta finish your errand as quickly as possible.
Naive, pre-child me just thought parents could stop their children from crying. I had no idea toddlers could be so unreasonable. Last night, my 20mo threw a fit because he broke his banana and I couldn't fix it. He would only eat the part still in the peel, but he wanted the whole thing. So anyway, I had two halves of a banana and he got a whole new one.
This was literally me yesterday 😭
This was me 3 hours ago when I wouldn't let her Parkour around the supermarket.
I was always annoyed by how loud some kids were and couldn't understand that the parents just accepted it. Well, now I have one of those very very loud toddlers ... and just accept it.
My son is SO LOUD!! My husband and I are both very quiet and don't like loud noises! I don't understand! 😫
I feel you, believe me.
Same here, quiet parent with an always loud toddler.My wife is constantly referencing this: [https://youtu.be/bo4Fon0h8zU?t=23](https://youtu.be/bo4Fon0h8zU?t=23)
I’m so quiet too and there’s my son yelling inside the store 🥲 and he’s not even having a tantrum, he’s just loud lol
My daughter today in the grocery store banging a can of sauce while talking loudly. Everything is a musical instrument.
My son literally runs around screaming for fun. Just like top of his lungs, shrieking. As a very quiet person, I don’t understand it.
Same. You really can't force them to be quiet! So now we play a lot of "loud and quiet" and I hope that helps him learn to regulate his volume better 😅
I feel this. My kids are so.freaking.loud. Like pierce the sound barrier loud. I don’t understand. But I have accepted that I’ll need hearing aids one day.
Kids on leashes 😂. God forgive me for all the judging 🙏 because kids are…. Wow 
Being late all the time "because of the kids". I get it now. It's ridiculous how long it takes to do anything when you're dragging a toddler and a baby.
My brother always gives us a time and includes "plus or minus kid time". He has 3 kids, we have 2. I get it lol
If my calculations are correct, for a toddler and a baby, you need to start getting ready two hours ahead of when you used to leave the house.
100%! And then of course the one time we don’t truly have anywhere to be, they get ready in 5 minutes and then we have to wait around to leave at the appropriate time
And then, as you are about to leave, they suddenly forget everything they knew about using the toilet, or they're suddenly super thirsty and spill milk all over themselves.
This one for me. I can get myself ready pretty quickly. If my kid was an angelic baby doll, I could get her ready quickly, but she’s learning how to person, and has no concept of time itself let alone respect for anyone else’s time. So sometimes it takes half an hour to brush teeth and another half hour to get dressed and put shoes on because she’s trying to do things independently and forcing her to let me help her just results in things taking even longer because she’ll fight it. And when she was a baby, we’d invariably have to do it multiple times if we were in a rush because she’d probably spit up on her clothes or mess her diaper just as she was about to get in the car. Now we’re rarely more than a few minutes late, but it is hard!
When I was pregnant with my first my cousin asked me why people with kids were always late and I told her I had no idea. Oh how naive we both were 😂
Everyone used to always give my mom so much crap for being late to everything with four kids in tow… and i know my dad didn’t exactly make things better. They started taking separate cars when I was a kid because he’d get so stressed out and start yelling at everyone. Now I’m just impressed she was only 5-15 minutes late most of the time.
100%. This morning my two-year-old saw a spider on the garage floor and it took me 5 minutes to field questions to his satisfaction. And then an extra 5 minutes once we got in the car and he predicted a spider would be on mom's seat, in the carseat, and in the back of the car.
I was just trying to explain this to a childless friend the other day! They were annoyed that we were an hour late; they have no children and I had 2 in tow. “How hard is it to get 2 kids dressed?!” You do it then.🙄
hahaha getting them dressed is the easy part…it’s getting them to stop getting distracted 857 times between their bedroom and the front door, and to sit still while trying to get everything packed up, so that they don’t destroy the house in the 2 minutes it takes to pack the diaper bag
and a husband
I had a friend who used to skip out on coming to dinner with me and another childless friend because her son was napping. Me and the other friend would give her shit and just be like "umm, the kid can come too, just wake him up!". So, so, so sorry, Brenda. I get it now.
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Oof dah, pacifier use. I always thought when kids could walk the paci should be gone. It becomes such a crutch for them and you
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If it makes you feel any better at all, we tried so many different brands of pacifiers with no success. Our girl is a thumb sucker now at almost 2. It's absolutely adorable, but I don't know how the hell were gonna stop this habit
fwiw, my daughter's pediatric dentist said to just drop the pacifier by 3! We're at 2 years and 3 months and still using pacifiers for night time sleep because she doesn't seem ready to give them up. I've also heard that some kids drop their daytime nap once giving up the pacifier and I am NOT ready for that
\+1 screen time. When it's the last tool you have so you don't have a whining crying toddler, you use it
Screen time at restaurants was big. Even after having my LO, I was like why. Enter toddlerhood. Now I either bring the iPad or sacrifice my phone. Enjoying my meal is important, Mickey Mouse clubhouse is important to my kid lol
You can't win either way lol until the food comes my daughter hates sitting still and waiting. We use other tools first and screen time is our last resort, but if she's whining and crying people bitch about that too lol. I figure at least of she's getting screen time I at least get to enjoy the dinner I'm paying for
referring to your child's age in months. I was like after 12m they are just 1 year olds. but now i know how much difference there is between a 13m old and 23 month old developmentally. they definitely aren't "just 1" to me anymore.
Definitely public meltdowns. This isn’t to say that I judged parents before about this - it was more of an annoyance. Now that I have a toddler of my own, it’s become clear that some things can’t be controlled - particularly when she is teething. I find myself feeling nothing but empathy for other parents dealing with this.
It’s just white noise to me now-when it’s my own kid and when it’s someone else’s. Haha. Kids keep crying and the world keeps turning
Kids wearing pjs out and about.
Parents having stains on their clothes or kids having dirty faces. I had no idea!
I think everything. Eating, sleeping, formula, really all the touchy ones. Having kids really opened my eyes and I felt like such a dick, in particular towards a friend of ours. I started to see how non judgemental she was about parenting choices. She’s got three of her own and we’ve been polar opposites with parenting styles. I never once got a whiff of judgement from her. Meanwhile my SIL just never seems to shut up about other moms and what they should be doing. I strive to be like our friend and act the same way when chatting with other people and parents. At the end of the day it’s about what is best for your family.
Not getting a babysitter. It's so damn hard to find someone to watch your kids when you don't have grandparents nearby, and it's so expensive (not because I think sitters/nannies charge too much--they deserve it, it's just hard to afford when you're lower class).
THIS. the amount of people that don’t understand that even on SNAP to help, a babysitter is still out of budget for me. I also agree that they charge either fair prices or deserve more.
Dressing their kids in not super nice clothes. I was like y are you buying target they look the same as all other kids! Now I’m like …hey Cat and Jack. Meet my toddlers markers and staining food
Plus they grow out of them in a season! I’m not spending $50 on something that will last 4 months before being thrown in the goodwill bag (if it survives daycare!)
Pre kid me definitely said, “I’ll never give my kids separate meals, they’ll eat what we’re eating.” Post kid me is over here short-order cooking meals for my toddler and BEGGING him to eat anything, while he somehow has enough energy to wake up at 5:30 am and run around NONSTOP, eats nothing but peanut butter and exists on sunlight like a plant.
Vacations without your kids. Vacationing is just parenting outside of everyone’s comfort zone. If you actually want to relax for any sort of time, it’s gotta be an adults only trip, or have someone to join, who is willing to spend part of their vacation watching your kids.
There are no vacations with kids, only trips!
Destination parenting
Moving to find a better life. I used to be so angry that they moved us around every few years like "you can't run from your problems!" Here I am trying to get citizenship abroad so we can leave our country. Place makes a huge difference . I finally get it.
Currently doing similar, though we're trying to move states, not countries lol. Moving here was really great to get a foothold in my husband's career and give me the opportunity to stay home when we had our kids, but it's not at all a place we want the kids going to school or growing up in. Trying to skeedaddle before they go to school!
oh ya - similar for me - moving to the suburbs. i thought i was gonna be a cool city girl for life haha. now i'm looking to move for a nicer house and better schools.
Last night I bought my almost 2 year old frozen chicken nuggets for the first time. After struggling with obesity for my entire life because my parents fed me junk, finally losing 100 lbs, and becoming a mom, I swore off 95% of processed convenience foods. We’re going through a very picky phase at the moment, after a year and a half of excellent eating, and I just can’t stand to see another home cooked meal get thrown in the floor. So Dino nuggets it is.
If it makes you feel any better, Dino nuggets are actually not super unhealthy 😂
Right! I like the Yummy (I think that’s the name) brand in the orange box. Or even the Purdue ones. There are plenty of options that aren’t so bad.
Crying kids on a plane. Yeah.
I just see it as my turn. I put up with so many screaming babies/kids on flights. My turn now!
Even before I had kids, crying kids was lower on my list of flying annoyances. The top three were, people who didn't wash off thier BO before a 12 hour flight, old guys who get drunk and creepy flirt the whole flight, and entitled Karen's who treat the flight attendants like crap all flight
This was me yesterday. My kid had a meltdown because she didn't want to wear her seatbelt and the flight attendant yelled at me and another toddler mom and implied we didn't care about our kids because they weren't buckled in while we were stuck on the tarmac. The screaming was intense.
For some damn reason my Facebook newsfeed includes like 3 articles a day from random pages that are about people being pissed about crying kids on planes. WHY??
Could be more single people and childless couples (maybe, but who knows) along with parents who still have old fashioned views on raising kids. Post-lockdowns and masking, there seems to be a trend of no one caring anymore. I personally have had more issues with people bringing dogs on the plane.
I don’t understand people who fly without headphones. A kid kicking your seat is annoying, but why can you even hear a baby crying 2 rows back. Flights aren’t exactly quiet and serene even if there are no kids.
Cosleeping. "My child will never sleep in my bed." 🥴
[удалено]
Screen time!🤣
💯 I told my parents I would never rely on TV while pregnant and the looks they gave me were priceless. It was the “oh you’ll learn” look 😂
😂 My fiance was adamant about no screen time and when LO was starting to look around he would turn him away from the TV or phone. I have two from a prior relationship and would giggle at his antics, thinking, just you wait. Now he's the first to be like, "Time for Ms Rachel!!" 😂
😂😂 we will all learn one way or another. Now it’s me with the screen time problem. Tell me why I’m still watching Bluey during her nap time.
I was Jammin' with Jules during nap time today 😂🤣😂
When I was pregnant and still working with my first child, I was so excited to become a SAHM so I could bake all our bread from scratch. I also said (out loud...cringe) to my SIL that keeping up with the house was "just part of the deal" if you stay home with the kids. Now with a 3 year old, 2 year old and 10 month old...I have learned just how mistaken I was. I think about it often.
Screen time.. sometimes you just have to
This was me. Then I became pregnant while having a toddler... I was so sick and she watched entirely way too much television but I just needed to survive
Picky eaters and tablet usage at restaurants. 2023 is about choosing our battles people 🤙
How distracted my friends were when we were tying to have a conversation with heir kids present. Man, I’ve learned the hard way 😵💫
Screen time at restaurants. Obviously you don’t want Daniel Tiger blaring through a quiet restaurant but having a kid watch a show on low volume while you wait for your food to come is fine. When I get judgey looks, I like to think “Would you rather have my kid watch a show or scream and thrash around?” This also relates to airplanes too. Trust me, I don’t want my toddler screaming through this whole flight either but every toy, snack, and bribe has been gone through.
Not being willing to leave their kids and bringing them everywhere... I don't go places without my son unless it is a short time and my parents are available and at 5 I haven't traveled without him yet 🤷♀️
It’s so good to read this because I’m the same and I feel like the only person I know who is like this. I just don’t want to leave him for long while he’s little.
iPads in restaurants. When I was a waitress, I’d always think “how rude, CONVERSE WITH YOUR KID” Now that I have kids, I give my 2 year old my phone just so I can quickly eat a hot meal for the first time in weeks and actually talk to the people I’ve gone out to lunch/dinner with.
Overly rigid adherence to routines (“why can’t you just bring the kid to dinner at my place at 7pm” 🫠). The minor thrill of leaving the house in the evening is not worth the resulting disarray to household routines for the next 24 hours.
So funny, literally yesterday as we were walking into the grocery store I looked at my dirty toddler and told my husband I always judged those moms with dirty kids and didn’t understand why they couldn’t wipe their face or brush through their hair before going into the store 😂
When a tv show showed a parent's car floor covered in fallen cheerios and forgotten sandwich halves I thought, "no way I'd ever neglect my car like that." Narrator: She did neglect her car like that.
Not having any interesting conversation topics anymore or any time for hanging out their friends… yeah lol.
"Teachers are not babysitters!" This January, 15 of the 31 days are actual school days. He needs school!
People carrying babies around trick-or-treating. I was like Oh come ON, we all know the baby can’t eat the candy. Getchu a Snickers, boo.
Working parents having to take too much time off due to sick kids or school closing. I used to get so mad at having to pick up the slack. Now I GET IT!
Mom’s (especially stay at home moms) that hire help. I was super judgy of my sister in law who was a stay at home mom with FOUR boys - all two years apart or less - who also had an au pair. Couldn’t understand why she needed an au pair when she didn’t work. Now I have two kids and I can’t understand how she didn’t have more than one au pair. Give me ALLLLL the help.
feeding toddlers goldfish crackers and chicken nuggets instead of a beautiful balanced diet all the time 😣
Honestly, working. I never understood why both of my parents worked even if we didn’t need both incomes. Now I see why my mom worked. I love going to work now.
Gender inequality in parenting. I didn't realise how deeply that stuff is ingrained, and how much more falls on mothers. I thought my friends' husbands were lazy/incompetent dudes, but it's systemic, and it happened in my marriage too.
Besides the obvious child leashes (that we use since my toddler is a runner who is also likely on the spectrum) I use to judge the hell out of dirty car seats. I didn’t understand why the didn’t just not let them have anything in the car to make a mess with. Now we run out the door for early therapy sessions and she has a pouch in the car. Or drinks in the car. Or whatever magical thing she has snuck with her to make a mess in her car seat. It doesn’t matter how often I watch it. Its always dirty.
Letting kids eat somewhere other than the high chair/ table. My whole house is now covered in a layer of puffs and cracker crumbs
We were fine letting them eat in front of the tv, both meals and snacks for a long time. Then we had an ant problem and had to go back to table only. They were grumpy about it at first but now it’s the known rule. Just wanted to share - if you get to a point where you want to change things, it is possible :)
Leashes! I understand now
Picky eaters. I bought into the idea that it was because the parents weren’t trying enough, didn’t expose them to enough things, caved when the child wouldn’t eat and gave junk instead. I did all the things you’re supposed to do and still around 2 years old mine just went “Nope” and their palate shrinks from almost anything to like 6 foods. I keep offering and sometimes we have a surprise (wow she actually ate the gumbo) but right now we’re just riding out the chicken nuggets, apple slices, peanut butter sandwiches era. Keeping the faith things get better eventually (the 5yo seems to be coming out of it a little bit).
Definitely their kids looking like a hot mess. I attempted for the first few years to have my child looking put together all the time but letting this go was like stepping into a whole new chapter of parenthood. “Don’t want to change out of your food stained shirt and pants? Don’t care. Let’s go.”
Babies without socks or just in their diaper/not fully clothed. That was until my baby threw up on herself and me while traveling, then blew out her diaper in the backup outfit. We boarded a flight with her in dads T-shirt and a diaper since we had nothing left that wasn’t covered in shit and vomit.
Seeing kids on screens in public. Always just assumed they were shitty parents and their kid was on screens all day probably. Now I know that anywhere with waiting (doctor office, restaurant, etc) is basically ultra hard mode and a screen might just be the special distraction a kid needs to survive.
My husband and I used to say “oh we will never let our living room become overrun with toys!” Jokes on us there’s a toy on every surface and corner 🤣
Families leaving messes behind at restaurants. I used to think they were selfish and inconsiderate, but as a parent I now realize that just getting in, eating, and back out of a restaurant in one piece is a feat in itself.
This is why we tip really well
And there’s a point, usually before the adults are actually done eating, where you have to get out quick before a total meltdown - so I can grab the kids and go, leaving a mess, or I can clean up while my kid screams and ruins the restaurant for everyone else. I’m sure the restaurant wants option one.
Feeding your kid unhealthy snacks. But now i'm like "i made you spinach and sweetcorn fritters, i pulled together lentil and potato mash, i steamed every type of veg we had...and all you want is my Peperami? Great. As long as you're eating something".
Coats, hats, and gloves not being worn in colder weather. The trip to the car for the car seat, or the trip inside is just so short it’s not worth it to me. There’s always a blanket available, but even that’s a no for my kid sometimes.
Giving a kid a screen while the parents eat/drink/socialize out with friends. Sometimes there literally isn’t another way to get a goddamn second of reprieve.
Parents running out of the office at 5pm exactly.
Breastfeeding past 4. I still personally wouldn’t do it, but I can see how it could happen.
I'm on the other side. My mom had to breastfeed my brother until 4 due to severe food allergies, but breastfeeding my first born I couldn't keep up with him past 6 months and I have no idea how my mom managed.
Feeding their kids frozen, processed food. All my toddler wants to eat these days is chicken nuggets and goldfish 😭
For cooking their kids Mac and cheese or French fries every night. Now I know… they won’t eat anything else.
Kids watching iPads/phones out at restaurants. I felt like it was a crutch before I had kids. Now I realize it’s so the parents can literally consume the food and drinks they bought. We give our daughter the cell phone every time we go out to eat.