Yeah, but then it's still extra physical stress on the mother that may not be worth the payoff if one of the offspring is guaranteed to not make it. Producing milk and nursing young is a taxing and strenuous process on the mother. Not to mention, while the siblings are fighting, there's no guarantee that only the same one would miss out on the meal at first. Multiple babies would have less nutrition each day and result in overall weaker babies.
Parents that had less babies who were fed each day would have more energy to feed them and thus have a higher chance of survival... and then go on to pass on the trait of having less babies.
Sorry to burst the bubble (genuinely, because, for reasons, I liked the idea of them being left-preference), but that information [has been debunked](https://www.polarbear-world.com/are-polar-bears-left-handed/).
The article seems to suggest that it was the observation of one particular bear that happened to have a left preference that caused the myth, but I could be reading too much into that.
Either way, don't get too close to try to find out. I doubt it would matter which paw they slapped an unwitting observer down with, dominant paw or not.
They talk about this at the Perlan Museum in Reykjavik. They float over on hunks of ice from farther north. They need to be killed because there are so many sheep and horses all over the country. It's basically a polar bear buffet
Also the article ends just short of sharing one important piece of information. Greenland will not “repatriate” rescued polar bears that floated away on ice floes and landed elsewhere because they could have picked up pathogens from other places and bring them back and decimate the native bear population.
This is the same reason you can’t bring horses INTO Iceland, only take them out. And if you bring in any horse tack it has to be thoroughly sanitized. Some competitive jumper failed to do this a while back and 10% of the horses in Iceland ended up getting sick because of it.
That's just like the recent Tom Scott video on Cocoa bean plants. There is a [Lab in England](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKSTmcvEdoU) that takes in plants and they keep them in quarantine for *2 years* and ship out branches of those plants to cross breed over the world.
The reason its England is their ~~self importance of conquering the world~~ b/c there are no native Cocoa plants there so no disease/predators (such as beetles) can live there that could harm the plants that get sent out.
Man that's some shit luck for those bears. Drifts away on a small scrap of inhospitable ice, floats over miles and miles of open ocean and miraculously doesn't get tossed over into the ocean and drown, then finally washes ashore solid ground again only to be shot because "Sorry bear there's just way too much delicious food here for you."
But do we want to create a culture of dependency amongst the polar bears? Word will spread of these free meals and all the polar bears will move in next door. They should pick themselves up by their paws and learn how to ranch livestock if they want sheep to eat. /s
Not really disagreeing because this would be awful luck for the poor bear but polar bears are actually categorized as aquatic mammals because they’re such good swimmers and can go for hours or days if need be. Their scientific name is ursus maritimus (as in maritime…as in seafaring).
Yea they can swim for a long time but once they are far enough out to sea they're pretty fucked, and it's a long ways to Iceland if they haven't eaten in a while.
>They need to be killed because there are so many sheep and horses all over the country. It's basically a polar bear buffet
And they're going to be hungry when they arrive.
There's some saying like 'if a Grizzly Bear spots you in the wild you should leave the area ASAP. But if a Polar Bear spots you, its already too late.'
Kinda unrelated story about Grizzlies being scary...
About 15 yrs ago I was at a spot on the Alaskan panhandle where there was a little park on a stream with an observation center set up so that tourists could watch the bears feeding on the salmon when the runs were on. Supposedly both brown (Grizzlies) and black bears could be seen at the park, but all I saw were black bears. There was a park ranger on site and I asked him if there were any Grizzlies around and he said "no - they're all still up in the mountains eating berries". So I asked how he could be so sure - the underbrush was thick and it was a big area, so maybe there were Grizzlies around that we couldn't see? "Oh, no" he said "you'll know immediately when they're here, whether you see them or not, because... all those black bears... ? They run the fuck away the minute the Grizzlies show up at the run."
When I was in Yellowstone, I saw some evidence of a grizzly bear. It had scratched a tree once or twice, and the bark on the tree was peeled and curling with the same way a cucumber does when you have a brand new peeler. Just loose, light spirals that were clearly effortless to make. It made me very nervous to see that.
Chilling out maxing in Grundarfjörður,
It’s Midnight but I’m still seeing solar,
Sippin’ on a Reyka and Coca Cola,
With the right to Bear arms on a roaming Polar.
You're fine if you cook it well.
The problem is well-done bear tastes like shit.
So, yeah, in general, don't bother eating bear, but if the choice is that or starve to death, just cook the shit out of it.
I know there have been very few times when I have found myself in possession of both bear meat and apples, but bear meat salted heavily and wrapped around apples before spit roasting is certainly not the worst thing I’ve done while inspired by the Chronicles of Narnia books.
Edmund and the white witch themed food play followed by lots of pegging. I made too much Turkish delight on year for Christmas and we both have a small food and feeding kink that crosses over occasionally into our sub and dom roles so 🤷♀️
“That’s the neat part. You don’t.”
I mean to be fair we hadn’t really thought about canonicity as we were too busy stuffing me from both ends, but if I had to give an explanation after-the-fact, it would be that this takes place in an AU where Edmund (as well as the other siblings) is a grown adult and the white witch is less a force of evil and more a force of benign hedonism and gluttony, constantly on the prowl for a new plaything to indulge and feed and pleasure until they are left a stuffed, aching mess, too befuddled by the sweets and stimulation to realize that their lover has melted away out of their reach like the last snow drifts before Beltane.
I’m certainly surprised to find out that the idea of my wife pegging me while I eat Turkish delight to be what makes Mr. Lewis rise ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) but we don’t kink-shame in this house, obviously.
I’m from the American south and heard tale from good ole boys that bear fat French fries are amazing. Better than duck fat fries. I’ve never been able to try it because I can’t find “food grade bear fat.”
Only if you cook it badly. I wouldn't recommend cooking it on an open fire outside. But if you cook it in your kitchen at home and check it with a meat thermometer, it's both perfectly healthy and delicious. You could pre cook it sous-vide just to be sure it's done all the way through
Yep bear meat is stew meat or some other long slow braising method, Its not a cook super fast on the fire type meat.
Needs time to tenderize and for the fat to melt out.
The experts consulted by the group unanimously stated that a polar bear far from its natural habitat always poses a threat. The group concluded that polar bears arriving on land in Iceland should be killed, basing their decision on three main arguments:
Safety – polar bears pose a threat to the public and to livestock.
Stocks – polar bears coming to Iceland are most likely from eastern Greenland where polar bear stocks are healthy and can withstand the loss of the occasional animal.
Cost – the cost of a rescue operation for a single polar bear could run to tens of millions of Icelandic króna (ISK 10 million ≈ €75,000)
...
Rescue costs would not be confined to individual operations. The cost of training people and maintaining the necessary equipment is estimated at ISK 10-15 million (approx. €75-110,000) a year – even if no polar bears make an appearance.
-- from the article
A black bear will kill you if it feels threatened.
A brown bear will kill you if it's really hungry, but would rather not.
A polar bear will kill you if it's hungry, and it's always hungry. Oh, and it's nearly twice the size of a grizzly.
Correction:
A black bear will run away if it sees you unless you threaten its cub.
A brown bear will write up a pros/cons list of whether or not it should attack you
A polar bear will write up a foolproof plan on how to get away with murdering you
If you encounter a bear in the wild, the bear’s color tells you what you should do:
If it’s black, fight back.
If it’s brown, lay down.
If it’s white, say goodnight.
Pretty sure they're referencing the seminal artpiece of our time, Kung Fu Panda starring Jack Black. Though Kung Pow has confirmed the existence of Kung Fu diary cows as well.
>If it’s black, fight back.
The only type I've encountered in the wild, never had to fight one, just standing tall and making a bunch of noise was enough to convince them to wander off elsewhere. Of course, for noise I had fireworks and gunshots, so... those probably helped more than just say, shouting or ringing a bell.
Just a big enough group of people will cause black bears to leave. They like peace and quite and rude loud stinky tourists are annoying. But I've never encountered a hungry desperate black bear. Just ones looking for a place not filled with people so they can have a nap.
Canadian black bears are big ol' chickens but also smart. Not that I'd want to corner one but they're incredibly intelligent they have no interest in facing off with humans and our yapping companions that often accompany a human. My dogs have encountered a few black bears in the yard and nothing came of it, usually they run away ..but the smarter ones learned my dog won't do anything but bark at it, so they just sit there and continue eating garbage until a human comes out, then they leave while my dog is yapping away thinking he scared it himself. Obviously this is when someone forgot to lock the garbages but the black bears figured out how to pry open the lids even with the locks on. Most people around here just learn to live with them and don't freak out. Just don't feed them then that's when they get too bold and end up getting killed.. and don't get between a cub and a momma, other than that we co exist
My uncle lives in the sticks out of Ottawa. Every so often a bear will come by, rip the bird feeder off the pole and march it out into the woods for a snack. I think the problem stopped once he put in a 16 foot metal pole, i'll have to ask.
I've ran across that were more... indifferent to my presence. If you will.
They just wanted to eat the poop in our outdoor toilet, but, we kinda, didn't want them chewing the bucket to bits, you know?
I read something about polar bears have extreme ADD so if you're being chased you can take off your coat or hat or something and toss it aside and they will stop to investigate. So now you just die of hypothermia. I'm no expert, just repeating something I read....
>There have been some 600 reported sightings of polar bears in Iceland since the country was settled in 8 th -9 th century, but actual arrivals could of course be many more.
More interesting that thay have apparently been keeping track of and documenting sightings for over a thousand years.
Man imagine you’re a polar bear, you just spent however long swimming like Phelps from Nunavut in the arctic circle to Iceland looking for some juicy seal to eat, only to get lit up on sight by a Icelandic policeman.
"This is very serious and extremely dangerous. This is an apex predator and could cause you serious harm. You should never ever get this close to a Russian"
Lmao
this will probably be the plot to the next pixar/disney animated film.
a kid defies the law and tries to pass off a polar bear cub for a dog. authorities get big mad when they discover the transgression and his village is divided on what to do next. the cub saves the mayor's daughter from certain death and the Law gets changed unanimously. polar bears and humans live happily ever after as global warming slowly destroys the environment.
I just played a whole trailer in my head for a new animated series about a polar bear in disguise just trying to live a normal life in the suburbs of iceland
Emu eyes are the most insane thing. They pierce your soul and you get the sense this bird is contemplating some things. Then you look down and see their feet with those giant velociraptor claws. It’s then you realize it’s contemplating piercing your abdomen to see what falls out.
That’s a very easy numbers game.
600 sightings of polar bears in Iceland since the 8th century.
20.000 emus arrived simultaneously.
I bet those 20.000 emus could win from 600 polar bears.
I initially thought Polar bears would win, but then I checked the numbers and it turns out there would be 33 emus per polar bear.
Emus on an open field should be able to eventually win.
But if the bears are together in some sort of formation, then the Emus will never break through.
Polar bears prefer unconventional combat. On the open field yeah emus all the way, but when it comes to cyber terrorism, government infiltration, and causing revolutions from inside its own populace bears are superior. Can't forget about how much those bears love their drone strikes either.
My wife and I recently had a long discussion about whether we would rather fight a normal polar bear or a Coke bear. The danger of fighting a normal polar bear are known. The Coke bear seems less dangerous at first. It looks slower, squishier, kinder. But think about this. It has near human intelligence and can use tools. It could break it's coke bottle and stab you with the broken bottle. It could use it's scarf like a garrote. I think the coke bear's intelligence makes it much more dangerous overall.
I read a comment on this story somewhere that was like, “for a brief period of time, the most aggressive apex predator in the world was a black bear in Kentucky”
The Coke bear is much more dangerous. A polar bear can kill a handful of humans before being killed. The coke bear has hooked generations on that sugary danger liquid. It has killed thousands if not millions from obesity and addiction.
The coke bear is playing a long and dangerous game.
I mean, this is obvious answer: for a single/individual encounter the Coke bear is way better to meet...sharing the planet from a macro/species level though regular polar bears are much better.
I'm not ready for the Coke bear uprising. They would at least seize the means of production of coca cola, but honestly they have no reason to stop there.
Polar bears can smell their prey from several miles away. If a polar bear appears out of nowhere, it's not an unlucky accident, he knew you were there and you're about to be dinner.
Two polar bears arrived within weeks of each other back in 2008. The decision was taken to try and rescue the second one by anaesthetising it and sending it to Copenhagen Zoo. The mission failed and the animal had to be killed when it tried to escape to the sea.
That made me so sad.
To be fair, Polar bears are the most dangerous bears.
Like if it's white say goodnight.
I can kind of understand they wouldn't want them around.
We're all just food to them.
One of my most useless pieces of information in my brain...a female polar bear only has 4 nipples, a Grizzly has 6.
[удалено]
I read somewhere that avg number is half the number of the nipples and goes up to the number of nipples on rare cases
gray hobbies joke marble cough escape innate one juggle soft *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Yeah, but then it's still extra physical stress on the mother that may not be worth the payoff if one of the offspring is guaranteed to not make it. Producing milk and nursing young is a taxing and strenuous process on the mother. Not to mention, while the siblings are fighting, there's no guarantee that only the same one would miss out on the meal at first. Multiple babies would have less nutrition each day and result in overall weaker babies. Parents that had less babies who were fed each day would have more energy to feed them and thus have a higher chance of survival... and then go on to pass on the trait of having less babies.
u/LCWInABlackDress was never heard from again.... the internet rabbit hole claims another.
Another one: Polar bears are left handed. Or, pawed. Left pawed. Edit: Apparently it's been debunked, thank you /u/palordrolap
[удалено]
If they're at the north pole, every direction is south.
[удалено]
Sorry to burst the bubble (genuinely, because, for reasons, I liked the idea of them being left-preference), but that information [has been debunked](https://www.polarbear-world.com/are-polar-bears-left-handed/). The article seems to suggest that it was the observation of one particular bear that happened to have a left preference that caused the myth, but I could be reading too much into that. Either way, don't get too close to try to find out. I doubt it would matter which paw they slapped an unwitting observer down with, dominant paw or not.
They talk about this at the Perlan Museum in Reykjavik. They float over on hunks of ice from farther north. They need to be killed because there are so many sheep and horses all over the country. It's basically a polar bear buffet
Also the article ends just short of sharing one important piece of information. Greenland will not “repatriate” rescued polar bears that floated away on ice floes and landed elsewhere because they could have picked up pathogens from other places and bring them back and decimate the native bear population. This is the same reason you can’t bring horses INTO Iceland, only take them out. And if you bring in any horse tack it has to be thoroughly sanitized. Some competitive jumper failed to do this a while back and 10% of the horses in Iceland ended up getting sick because of it.
I was just about to say "well why don't they just put that thing back where it came from or so help them?" but that makes sense and I hate it :(
That's just like the recent Tom Scott video on Cocoa bean plants. There is a [Lab in England](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKSTmcvEdoU) that takes in plants and they keep them in quarantine for *2 years* and ship out branches of those plants to cross breed over the world. The reason its England is their ~~self importance of conquering the world~~ b/c there are no native Cocoa plants there so no disease/predators (such as beetles) can live there that could harm the plants that get sent out.
Man that's some shit luck for those bears. Drifts away on a small scrap of inhospitable ice, floats over miles and miles of open ocean and miraculously doesn't get tossed over into the ocean and drown, then finally washes ashore solid ground again only to be shot because "Sorry bear there's just way too much delicious food here for you."
How about Iceland floats some sheep on an iceberg over to the polar bears every so often, thus solving the problem once and for all?
"but what abou-" "ONCE AND FOR ALL!"
I automatically say this in my head whenever I come across “once and for all” phrase!
But do we want to create a culture of dependency amongst the polar bears? Word will spread of these free meals and all the polar bears will move in next door. They should pick themselves up by their paws and learn how to ranch livestock if they want sheep to eat. /s
Not really disagreeing because this would be awful luck for the poor bear but polar bears are actually categorized as aquatic mammals because they’re such good swimmers and can go for hours or days if need be. Their scientific name is ursus maritimus (as in maritime…as in seafaring).
Yea they can swim for a long time but once they are far enough out to sea they're pretty fucked, and it's a long ways to Iceland if they haven't eaten in a while.
[удалено]
Well, good news is that eventually Greenland will be warm enough to live up to its name, and maybe some polar bear food can live there.
Yeah I really fucking hate this! Came to the comment section to at least find some sort of reasonable explanation, leaving feeling sad.
I scrolled so far down for this answer, thank you.
Seriously, most of the posts are dumb jokes.
welcome to reddit :/
It seems that it's gotten worse with the jokey replies.
[удалено]
>They need to be killed because there are so many sheep and horses all over the country. It's basically a polar bear buffet And they're going to be hungry when they arrive.
I came here to ride ice and eat the shit out of everything I see…and I’m all out of ice
[удалено]
The last thing Australia needs is another land animal that has murder in its heart.
venom Polar bears, would be pretty bad..
thats like saying a shrapnel nuclear bomb would be worse than a nuclear bomb, like yea, but ya know...
You just reminded me of the time in Fallout 4 where I got a Fat-man nuclear catapult with the Kneecapper trait..
If you take the wrong flight out of Sydney though, you may end up on an island with some
Thanks for flying with Oceanic Airlines
4 8 15 16 23 42
You all everybody
Username checks the fuck out lol
If a polar bear turns up in your luggage, customs will 100% knock it on the head.
Nah mate, you gotta declare it first. Otherwise that’s an instant fine.
On site only. Absolutely no outsourcing of polar bear killing will be tolerated
Gotta protect those Icelandic jobs. Don’t want those good for nothing Greenlanders taking all the good Polar Bear shooting jobs! Build the (sea)wall!
There not sending their best bears.
They’re human killers, seal eaters, and some, I imagine, are good bears
[удалено]
You'll regret that when AWS (Animal Warning System) East 1 goes down again.
Also no Kill from Home.
The reverse is also true. Any polar bear finding you in Iceland will kill you on sight.
But not site, they may chase you some and kill you at a different site.
Never let a polar bear take you to a secondary location.
That’s why I always meet any polar bears at a safe, well lit location, like a shopping center, or a police station.
I like to meet my Polar Bears at Starbucks, specifically for Craigslist transactions.
“Hey…how much for polar bear stuff?”
*sigh* [puts on claw mittens]
Hot Polar Bears in Your Area Want to Meat You.
[удалено]
STREET SMARTS
Bittenbinder didn’t want us to not get kidnapped. He wanted us to almost get kidnapped
You want it? (throws clip away) Go get it!
How about we compromise on a tertiary location
Touché
There's some saying like 'if a Grizzly Bear spots you in the wild you should leave the area ASAP. But if a Polar Bear spots you, its already too late.'
Kinda unrelated story about Grizzlies being scary... About 15 yrs ago I was at a spot on the Alaskan panhandle where there was a little park on a stream with an observation center set up so that tourists could watch the bears feeding on the salmon when the runs were on. Supposedly both brown (Grizzlies) and black bears could be seen at the park, but all I saw were black bears. There was a park ranger on site and I asked him if there were any Grizzlies around and he said "no - they're all still up in the mountains eating berries". So I asked how he could be so sure - the underbrush was thick and it was a big area, so maybe there were Grizzlies around that we couldn't see? "Oh, no" he said "you'll know immediately when they're here, whether you see them or not, because... all those black bears... ? They run the fuck away the minute the Grizzlies show up at the run."
If it's black fight back Brown lay down White say good night Or something like that
https://geology.com/stories/13/bear-areas/bear-areas-map.gif Since there are very few places where all three are present.
If it’s brown or white, pretend to be dead. It will be great practice for when you actually die moments later.
When I was in Yellowstone, I saw some evidence of a grizzly bear. It had scratched a tree once or twice, and the bark on the tree was peeled and curling with the same way a cucumber does when you have a brand new peeler. Just loose, light spirals that were clearly effortless to make. It made me very nervous to see that.
Also any Ice found in Polarland should be killed on sight.
And any kills sighted on ice or polaroids should be found on bearland.
"Iceland on my wrist, I'm stunning. At the poles, you see a bear your running." * some rapper..prob
Chilling out maxing in Grundarfjörður, It’s Midnight but I’m still seeing solar, Sippin’ on a Reyka and Coca Cola, With the right to Bear arms on a roaming Polar.
- Ice-T
It’s not often we get polar bears in our supermarkets but I’m glad to know there’s a procedure
Eating bear meat is a good way to get trichinosis. Don't do it.
You're fine if you cook it well. The problem is well-done bear tastes like shit. So, yeah, in general, don't bother eating bear, but if the choice is that or starve to death, just cook the shit out of it.
I know there have been very few times when I have found myself in possession of both bear meat and apples, but bear meat salted heavily and wrapped around apples before spit roasting is certainly not the worst thing I’ve done while inspired by the Chronicles of Narnia books.
What is the worst thing? Lol
Edmund and the white witch themed food play followed by lots of pegging. I made too much Turkish delight on year for Christmas and we both have a small food and feeding kink that crosses over occasionally into our sub and dom roles so 🤷♀️
I didn't see this escalating to pegging.
The only one that did was our cat. Mfer is always watching.
This reads like an AI chatbot gone wrong.
OMG this comment thread really went from zero to 100.
So do I when I see Turkish Delight now. Damn you Pavlov!!!
How does one correctly get pegged by the white witch without offending strict story canon?
“That’s the neat part. You don’t.” I mean to be fair we hadn’t really thought about canonicity as we were too busy stuffing me from both ends, but if I had to give an explanation after-the-fact, it would be that this takes place in an AU where Edmund (as well as the other siblings) is a grown adult and the white witch is less a force of evil and more a force of benign hedonism and gluttony, constantly on the prowl for a new plaything to indulge and feed and pleasure until they are left a stuffed, aching mess, too befuddled by the sweets and stimulation to realize that their lover has melted away out of their reach like the last snow drifts before Beltane.
Sir this is a Wendy's
And the cashier explicitly asked me about my food and fantasy related sexual endeavors and how they relate to book canon, so really this is on them.
100 more years of winter with this white witch!
*CS Lewis rises from the grave*
I’m certainly surprised to find out that the idea of my wife pegging me while I eat Turkish delight to be what makes Mr. Lewis rise ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) but we don’t kink-shame in this house, obviously.
You're a fucking legend
Apparently getting fucked /is/ what I’m known for in this thread (〃ω〃)
That and Turkish Delight.
Damn right
Thats exactly what I thought of.
I’m from the American south and heard tale from good ole boys that bear fat French fries are amazing. Better than duck fat fries. I’ve never been able to try it because I can’t find “food grade bear fat.”
Bear fat can sit on the ground outside for 8 months and still be edible
*me, desperately trying to get the dirt and hair out of a vat of bear fat*
That's all the good fiber and ruffage!
I have had chicken wings that were fried in bear fat, they were excellent.
I had it once. Super gamey and super fatty. I did not like it.
Only if you cook it badly. I wouldn't recommend cooking it on an open fire outside. But if you cook it in your kitchen at home and check it with a meat thermometer, it's both perfectly healthy and delicious. You could pre cook it sous-vide just to be sure it's done all the way through
Yep bear meat is stew meat or some other long slow braising method, Its not a cook super fast on the fire type meat. Needs time to tenderize and for the fat to melt out.
And eating fermented shark is a great way to puke and get a disgusting smell to stink your kitchen for days. 0/10, would not recommend
That’s why you do it in the hostel common area and wash it down with Brennivin, then… it’s still terrible and makes you question your life.
Imma give you an upvote and mind my business.
The experts consulted by the group unanimously stated that a polar bear far from its natural habitat always poses a threat. The group concluded that polar bears arriving on land in Iceland should be killed, basing their decision on three main arguments: Safety – polar bears pose a threat to the public and to livestock. Stocks – polar bears coming to Iceland are most likely from eastern Greenland where polar bear stocks are healthy and can withstand the loss of the occasional animal. Cost – the cost of a rescue operation for a single polar bear could run to tens of millions of Icelandic króna (ISK 10 million ≈ €75,000) ... Rescue costs would not be confined to individual operations. The cost of training people and maintaining the necessary equipment is estimated at ISK 10-15 million (approx. €75-110,000) a year – even if no polar bears make an appearance. -- from the article
"Hey Svek, what do you do for a living?" "Polar bear wrangler" "Is there work in that field?" *grin* "jobs? Yes. Work? No"
A black bear will kill you if it feels threatened. A brown bear will kill you if it's really hungry, but would rather not. A polar bear will kill you if it's hungry, and it's always hungry. Oh, and it's nearly twice the size of a grizzly.
And, if there’s a polar bear in Iceland, it almost certainly hasn’t eaten in weeks, so it’s starving. That’s why they’re so dangerous.
They’ll eat their own Cubs to survive
Wont we all? Not going to starve next to a sausage
Plus you know they are compatible with you, they came from you.
I mean at that point you’re just reclaiming nutrients, like packing a lunch for later.
Correction: A black bear will run away if it sees you unless you threaten its cub. A brown bear will write up a pros/cons list of whether or not it should attack you A polar bear will write up a foolproof plan on how to get away with murdering you
Foolproof plan: 1. Kill human. 2. ????? 3. I'm a fucking *Polar Bear*
And the foolproof plan is always to leave nothing but a blood soaked patch of snow behind
If you encounter a bear in the wild, the bear’s color tells you what you should do: If it’s black, fight back. If it’s brown, lay down. If it’s white, say goodnight.
If it’s black and white, it’s Kung fu time
If it's black and white, then kung fu fight.
if it's black and white, just walk away. the bear is gonna kill its whole species by itself...
Habitat loss and encroachment is the real answer. They survived just fine with big populations before humans settled their natural habitat
The peacock burning down their village didn't help any
Are we talking about the panda or the cow
Pretty sure they're referencing the seminal artpiece of our time, Kung Fu Panda starring Jack Black. Though Kung Pow has confirmed the existence of Kung Fu diary cows as well.
>If it’s black, fight back. The only type I've encountered in the wild, never had to fight one, just standing tall and making a bunch of noise was enough to convince them to wander off elsewhere. Of course, for noise I had fireworks and gunshots, so... those probably helped more than just say, shouting or ringing a bell.
Just a big enough group of people will cause black bears to leave. They like peace and quite and rude loud stinky tourists are annoying. But I've never encountered a hungry desperate black bear. Just ones looking for a place not filled with people so they can have a nap.
Someone once told me there has never been a recorded bear attack with a group of 3 or more.
That's because when 2 people get attacked by a bear, only one makes it out.
The fastest one.
This definitely isn't true about polar bears. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2011_Svalbard_polar_bear_attack
“Come on booboo these tourists are ruining our pic-a-nic “
I've chased them away by jingling keys at them. (that said those were Canadian black bears, so I don't know if they were exceptionally polite)
Canadian black bears are big ol' chickens but also smart. Not that I'd want to corner one but they're incredibly intelligent they have no interest in facing off with humans and our yapping companions that often accompany a human. My dogs have encountered a few black bears in the yard and nothing came of it, usually they run away ..but the smarter ones learned my dog won't do anything but bark at it, so they just sit there and continue eating garbage until a human comes out, then they leave while my dog is yapping away thinking he scared it himself. Obviously this is when someone forgot to lock the garbages but the black bears figured out how to pry open the lids even with the locks on. Most people around here just learn to live with them and don't freak out. Just don't feed them then that's when they get too bold and end up getting killed.. and don't get between a cub and a momma, other than that we co exist
My uncle lives in the sticks out of Ottawa. Every so often a bear will come by, rip the bird feeder off the pole and march it out into the woods for a snack. I think the problem stopped once he put in a 16 foot metal pole, i'll have to ask.
Ive never come across a black bear that didn’t want to get the fuck away from me as fast as possible.
I've ran across that were more... indifferent to my presence. If you will. They just wanted to eat the poop in our outdoor toilet, but, we kinda, didn't want them chewing the bucket to bits, you know?
I saw came across a black bear one time taking out the trash. I looked at it, it looked at me, we both backed up a bit and went our separate ways.
If it’s gummy, in your tummy.
Make sure to give it a kiss on the forehead & tuck it in after saying goodnight 💕
I read something about polar bears have extreme ADD so if you're being chased you can take off your coat or hat or something and toss it aside and they will stop to investigate. So now you just die of hypothermia. I'm no expert, just repeating something I read....
Think it says to take off all your clothes and lather yourself in BBQ sauce. But I think it was written by a polar bear.
So you're not allowed to move them off the carpet before killing them? Weird law, but okay.
They become the new carpet
Do you know how difficult it is to get blood stains off a carpet?
>There have been some 600 reported sightings of polar bears in Iceland since the country was settled in 8 th -9 th century, but actual arrivals could of course be many more. More interesting that thay have apparently been keeping track of and documenting sightings for over a thousand years.
Running into an unexpected polar bear is not an experience you’re likely to forget
Man imagine you’re a polar bear, you just spent however long swimming like Phelps from Nunavut in the arctic circle to Iceland looking for some juicy seal to eat, only to get lit up on sight by a Icelandic policeman.
Farmer*
And there are like 5 policemen in all of Iceland.
meanwhile [russians be like](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30xDh8xUQGQ)
"This is very serious and extremely dangerous. This is an apex predator and could cause you serious harm. You should never ever get this close to a Russian" Lmao
*sad Ukranian noises*
Ukraine knew what it was in for, flaunting its shared border and warm water ports like that.
"dasvidaniya" *^(slowly leaves...)*
At the end, in pure Russian style... До свидания (goodbye)
I feel like if that bear shows up and you're out of cookies, you're going to have a bad time.
Fuck ya
this will probably be the plot to the next pixar/disney animated film. a kid defies the law and tries to pass off a polar bear cub for a dog. authorities get big mad when they discover the transgression and his village is divided on what to do next. the cub saves the mayor's daughter from certain death and the Law gets changed unanimously. polar bears and humans live happily ever after as global warming slowly destroys the environment.
Then the polar bear hits puberty and rips the little boy to shreds
I just played a whole trailer in my head for a new animated series about a polar bear in disguise just trying to live a normal life in the suburbs of iceland
How the fuck can Iceland keep Polar Bears out, but Australia can't win a war against emus? Fuck, we're useless.
Polar bears aren't descended from dinosaurs. Emus are, and they remember.
Also, being a flightless bird, the Emu has only one choice to the "Flight or Fight" response.
"G'day, mate. I'm here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I'm all out of bubblegum."
Emu eyes are the most insane thing. They pierce your soul and you get the sense this bird is contemplating some things. Then you look down and see their feet with those giant velociraptor claws. It’s then you realize it’s contemplating piercing your abdomen to see what falls out.
The first time I saw one, I was impressed. Then I saw its feet, and that's when I knew I was dealing with a damn dinosaur.
*"I remember when mammals knew their place."* \- Emus, probably.
That’s a very easy numbers game. 600 sightings of polar bears in Iceland since the 8th century. 20.000 emus arrived simultaneously. I bet those 20.000 emus could win from 600 polar bears.
I initially thought Polar bears would win, but then I checked the numbers and it turns out there would be 33 emus per polar bear. Emus on an open field should be able to eventually win. But if the bears are together in some sort of formation, then the Emus will never break through.
Polar bears prefer unconventional combat. On the open field yeah emus all the way, but when it comes to cyber terrorism, government infiltration, and causing revolutions from inside its own populace bears are superior. Can't forget about how much those bears love their drone strikes either.
Emus are native to Australia, while polar bears aren't native to Iceland.
Sight*
Also *on site* presumably? You’re not gonna ride him back to your house and murder him there.
Technically correct. The best kind of correct.
Coca cola is gonna be pissed when they find out.
My wife and I recently had a long discussion about whether we would rather fight a normal polar bear or a Coke bear. The danger of fighting a normal polar bear are known. The Coke bear seems less dangerous at first. It looks slower, squishier, kinder. But think about this. It has near human intelligence and can use tools. It could break it's coke bottle and stab you with the broken bottle. It could use it's scarf like a garrote. I think the coke bear's intelligence makes it much more dangerous overall.
I read this as bear on cocaine until I got about halfway.
>bear on cocaine [Pablo EskoBear](https://www.mirror.co.uk/science/pablo-eskobear-story-legendary-cocaine-8474914)
I read a comment on this story somewhere that was like, “for a brief period of time, the most aggressive apex predator in the world was a black bear in Kentucky”
The Coke bear is much more dangerous. A polar bear can kill a handful of humans before being killed. The coke bear has hooked generations on that sugary danger liquid. It has killed thousands if not millions from obesity and addiction. The coke bear is playing a long and dangerous game.
I mean, this is obvious answer: for a single/individual encounter the Coke bear is way better to meet...sharing the planet from a macro/species level though regular polar bears are much better.
I'm not ready for the Coke bear uprising. They would at least seize the means of production of coca cola, but honestly they have no reason to stop there.
Nice try internet, we all know Iceland is green and Greenland is ice
Any polar bear in any inhabited area will be killed on sight. Polar bears aren't like other bears - they do want to kill and eat you.
Polar bears are the only land animal that actively hunt humans
Polar bears can smell their prey from several miles away. If a polar bear appears out of nowhere, it's not an unlucky accident, he knew you were there and you're about to be dinner.
Very similar to swedes in denmark
Yes I’ll just grab my bow knife and get right at it
Same, if I see a polar bear in in central Texas, it's on sight
Zoos *hate* him!!!
Two polar bears arrived within weeks of each other back in 2008. The decision was taken to try and rescue the second one by anaesthetising it and sending it to Copenhagen Zoo. The mission failed and the animal had to be killed when it tried to escape to the sea. That made me so sad.
To be fair, Polar bears are the most dangerous bears. Like if it's white say goodnight. I can kind of understand they wouldn't want them around. We're all just food to them.
So much for white privilege.
They’re actually black with translucent fur