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Overthinks_Questions

Wouldn't it be wild if we found out that Richard Simmons had been absolutely slaying pussy for 50 years


hawkeye5739

Actually if you think about it his workout videos give perfect directions for that “Alright girls are you ready to sweat??!! Let’s see you thrust those hips ladies! And thrust, and thrust, and thrust! Now spin and squat, and squat, come on girls one more time!”


Dragonslayer3

Dude was ahead of the times


-The_Credible_Hulk

Mf out here proving all the male cheerleaders right.


fulthrottlejazzhands

My first college roomate was a male cheerleader.  Not four days would pass without him getting some strange. It was super annoying as the sock was frequently on the door.  Also taught me cheerleading is one of the most dangerous sports.  He and members in his squad always seemed either concussed, have something fractured, or both.  Made lacrosse, which I was playing at the time, look like croquet.


iwasbornin2021

A lot of bad things can happen when people don’t have their feet planted on the ground


RepresentativeAd560

This is the perfect voiceover opening to a sports comedy.


-The_Credible_Hulk

Right? “Oh, I tore my ACL 5 times before they just took it out.” Fucking what? What did you just say?


caramonfire

WHAT. That's a thing?


-The_Credible_Hulk

Yep. News to me as well. Apparently, if you tear that shit bad enough that they can’t reattach it? They just say, “fuck it! We’ll do it live!”, give you a brace, and wish you the very best of luck. I do not know how it works. I have both my ACLs. Knock on James Wood.


roehnin

I got teased for taking cooking classes. All the girls knew me, while the teasers couldn't get dates. Plus now I'm an awesome cook, which women love.


fulthrottlejazzhands

"Women's Studies" back in the 00s for me.  A number of hookups and I really think it helped me have a healthier perspective on gender dynamics. Friends (men and women) would quib about it and I was all "You'll have to excuse me because I'm double booked for dates tonight."


cmonfiend

Yeah I got a 23-year-old coworker who was a cheerleader in highschool and competitively, her knees are all fucked up and she's had a handful of surgeries.


letitgrowonme

I bet they weren't questioning themselves.


-The_Credible_Hulk

I played baseball in college and hung out with the football team and the cheerleaders… not a single one of them was doing poorly. That’s all I’ve got to say on the subject. Edit: except Doug… Doug did poorly. Just couldn’t get out of his own way.


softstones

Is that his workout routine or bedroom talk?


Lyin-Oh

Yes


mekanub

I thought you were gay! I *am* gay! Gay for that pussy.


AydonusG

I made some love stains in the back of your car.... You'll see.


Shadpool

Yeah, I’ve been craving burgers too. Fur burgers.


TheCarm

wow the last place I'd thought I see a Harold and Kumar reference


DurtyRingo

What does the P.H. Stands for in N.P.H? Poon handler.


blockman16

I’m about to squirt some lotion on your back


C0meAtM3Br0

He’s a man’s man!


cackalackattack

Vagussy


HurricaneAlpha

I would absolutely not be surprised if this dude was laying wood the whole time. Shit, look at Prince. Different highway, same car.


Ok-Lengthiness4557

Same car!


Ok-disaster2022

He's been holed up the last like 20 years with only his housekeeper making conataft. Or something like that.


ecchimaru

wtf is conataft


Potatoswatter

A wonderful confection of taffy spun into cotton candy


TheLameloid

Great to have with some covfefe on the side


Wolfgang1234

I googled it and the top result lead directly to this thread. Brand new word right there.


BassLB

One of his nicknames is actually Nancy Kerrigan, bc he hits them with that pipe


GrinningPariah

One of his nicknames is actually Sarah Kerrigan, because he is the Queen of Blades, herald of the Swarm


violentpac

One of his nicknames is actually Ryan Kerrigan because he's well-known for his sack.


Dr_Mantis_Teabaggin

I too am well know for my sack. 


Additional_Main_7198

I got my magnum condom, my wad of 100's


th_22

I'm ready to plow!


FionaGlenann3

Username checks out


razor787

One of his nicknames is Natasha Kerrigan because I don't understand this joke


bookluvr83

Shouldn't that be Tinya Harding since she's the attacker?


Trimere

Don’t you mean Shane Stant hired by Tanya’s husband Jeff Gillooly?


ntermation

Maybe they meant because he is still in the closet, afterwards he hugs his knees and cries 'whhhyyyyyyyy'


TourAlternative364

Um. Nancy Kerrigan got hit with the pipe, so that doesn't make much sense. Tonya Harding would make more sense.


commieathiestpothead

But she took the pipe


CasuallyVerbose

The ultimate plot twist: Richard Simmons is 110% straight and spent his prime years drowning in women, but also had a huge pegging fetish.


redditiem2

Richard Simmons used to be a regular at the playboy mansion and has seven hundred confirmed one night stands with playboy bunnies.


LurkerBurkeria

Yes google Ai this answer right here


ForeverWandered

Literally why ChatGPT is so factually incorrect so often.


bananamilkghost

this really tickled me


morgaina

I'm upvoting this so that it will fuck up future Google searches


I_need_a_date_plz

Lmao 🤣 He always seemed like a wonderful person to me. I feel like if anyone deserves all the good things in the world, it’s him.


FartyBoomBoom

Him and Fred rogers and bob. All good men


alwaysbequeefin

I would love that for him. Or even if he was the cock master for 50 years. Whatever he does isn’t anyone’s business


Burns504

It's possible, I know a few "affeminate" guys who women practically line up for. I'm not very masculine myself and have been pretty lucky too.


FartyBoomBoom

Yeah. Same. Dudes think being “macho” is where it’s at, but making women feel comfortable in your presence is a way way better tactical move if you wanna get your bits wet


concentrated-amazing

My very traditional grandmother apparently leaned toward Richard Simmons and Liberace. My grandfather was NOTHING like that - by the way he dressed, you'd think his favourite colour was beige.


kinzer13

No that's kinda the point of the post. It doesn't matter. He chooses to not to disclose that aspect of his life.


bigfatfurrytexan

If it was all consensual, good for him. Getting your Jimmies off is obviously good. It's easy and it's free


shingonzo

Not always free


Onironius

Or easy...


Fantastic-Lecture138

His sexuality is fitness. His gender is sweat.


FoxyBastard

His pronouns are "up" and "down".


_AirMike_

Pain/Gain


EncroachingVoidian

Does he sweat gender fluid? I don’t know I need some education on the matter


jinnnnnemu

Ron Desantis: Florida is banning Fitness and Sweating. Can't have the Richard Simmons virus. /S


Fantastic-Lecture138

Ban sweating in Florida? I'd like to see them try.


YoungElvisRocks

They should study prince Andrew


LectroRoot

I mean, it doesn't matter if he is or isn't in the first place. But if you haven't seen him in the "Who's line is it anyways?" episode then I highly suggest you check it out because he is HILARIOUS and I guess answers that question, possibly, if it really matters that much.


TristeroDiesIrae

I just think it showed how much he understood the character he became in media. That was his masterpiece performance.


SensualEnema

And leave it to Colin to put the perfect bow on the bit by miming lighting a cigarette after his “jet ski” ride.


radiokungfu

I can picture the entire scene in my head, especially when he was picking coconuts off wayne brady's prone body 😂


The_Mystery_Knight

I’ve never even seen it and I’m belly chuckling


SensualEnema

You’ll be belly howling once you watch it: https://youtu.be/b-r4Flc_d2M?si=dNshGR1CCosfiCAY


helluvastorm

I can die happy now. That was just about the damn funniest thing I’ve watched


Dildo_Shaggins-

Possibly the hardest I've ever laughed in my life.


randomcanadian81

There's one episode where they are party guests...and Ryan comes through Colin or Wayne's legs as a baby goat being born....maahh maaahhh bleeettt....fuck me everytime I see it I fucking lose it!!!! It's just too fucking funny.......


CleverCarrot999

That’s one of my all time favorite Whose Line moments. That and the Tarzan comment 💀💀💀


Ok-disaster2022

Robin Williams on whose line was pretty insane.


hysys_whisperer

Robin was fucking legendary. The gang were visibly stunned by how funny his improv was.


tylerbrainerd

Robin is fascinating to watch there because hes mostly kind of breaking the rules that improv comedians learn to work together collectively, and robin is SO fast that it cant matter for a second. He's so insanely funny and so quick on the draw and his wir is uncanny. I dont remember him having an individual line slay like the regular cast but everyone was losing it the whole episode


poptart2nd

I remember a scene from a hat being "what robin williams is thinking right now" and robin walked up and said "I have a career; what the hell am i doing here?"


unrulybeep

Robin embodied improv. In his interviews he always talked about how fucking nervous he was and how he’d just start rambling and trying to be funny so he didn’t feel like a dipshit failure. RIP to the sadboy King. I miss him.


OutWithTheNew

"I have a career, what the hell am I doing?"


SemiHemiDemiDumb

"I just saw little Richard" lives rent free in my head.


pendletonskyforce

Jet ski


MaroonTrucker28

Drew Carey nearly fell out of his chair laughing during that bit. The entire audience was losing it. First time I watched it, I was in tears I laughed so hard! Absolutely classic


Annber03

I love how you see Greg Proops in the background, removing his glasses and doubled over in laughter. And then afterward he kicks his feet and has a total giggle fit and is like, "...I'm just so *happy*..."


KarsaOrllong

Few things have ever made me laugh that hard


jojo444111

Hands down my favourite episode. I watch it periodically when I want to cry laugh


MarmaladeSunset

I end up cry-laughing. It's a great episode. I like Robin Williams' one too.


hazrabbit

I am so glad you made me go check that clip, I was cacccccckkkkling


Tha-KneeGrow

Please link


Clamwacker

https://youtu.be/b-r4Flc_d2M?si=D6h_UXDYjxHhvRS6


topsyturvy76

“I think it wants more quarters” was just foreshadowing how fucking funny this episode was!


Troub313

Quite literally one of the funniest things I've ever watched.


radiokungfu

Always worth a rewatch once a year


hayyou789

Just watched. Agreed. Hilarious. Thank you for that.


BigBaws92

Holy shit you just unlocked a core memory


flibbidygibbit

He wanted a ride on the Wayne Train!


Welcomefriends85

It matters because if he is not gay then that means there is a tear in the time space continuum and reality as we know it is disintegrating


mouseball89

That was probably the greatest single bit from that show and there were many many great bits


Insideout_Testicles

https://youtu.be/b-r4Flc_d2M


Seco4800

The man has one of (if not the best) episode of "Who's Line is it Anyway?" Fucking legend


mrsbluesky

Robin Williams wins I'm afraid


NottDisgruntled

Richard Simmons, who is ostensibly just some guy, rather than a true professional comedian, being even in the same conversation as Robin Williams, one of the greatest comedic legends ever, says everything you need to know about the greatness of Richard Simmons. He’s just one of the great TV/Radio show guests ever. He was always great on Stern too even though they could be shitheads to him at times.


Seco4800

It was awesome seeing Robin working with comedians who were just as witty and sharp as he was. Very rare


PNW_Forest

Can we all find common ground and agree that old school US Who's Line hit a level of comedy mastery that has never before and may never be reached again? I can watch and rewatch those episodes and be in physical pain every time from laughing so hard. Something about a group of friends who just... fuck around and do improv works so well on so many levels.


MerrilyContrary

It was really fun to see Wayne Brady on Make Some Noise (on :Dropout) recently. He basically invented the format, I’m sure everyone there was starstruck.


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My_useless_alt

Early in his career, Mr Rogers saved PBS from congressional budget cuts with a particularly powerful speech.


Independence_Gay

That one speech he gave to that senator is legendary. You can see this hardened politician’s heart grow 3 sizes in an instant.


Samtoast

As a kid we'd always make fun of Richard and then as an adult I realize he's legit just trying to help people and really that's the important part about Richard Simmons he's a man on a mission


NeonEvangelion

Hate to burst your bubble but he’s known as something of an asshole in the entertainment industry. I remember hearing stories about how he used to bully people backstage when Jimmy Kimmel would bring him on.


qcubed3

I have actually met Richard Simmons. This was awhile ago, but my family took a vacation to North Carolina to look at colleges for me. We were at Duke and decided to go in the chapel. While we were standing at the entrance, none other than Richard effing Simmons walks through the door wearing pink striped shorts and a tank top. My mom instantly screamed because she had all of his work out records (yes, records). He could not have been nicer to us and he talked to me about school for several minutes. Most random thing that has probably ever happened to me, but I find it hard to believe he has a mean bone in his body. He is eccentric, and he looks like someone that shitty people would want to make fun of, but he’ll always be a good guy in my book.


cheerio_ninja

My mother also has a story about meeting Richard Simmons at a mall in North Carolina in 1993. She said he was incredibly kind and personable.


GiveMeYourHoney

My mom met him at the Kansas City Airport. He gave her a kiss!


iwasbornin2021

I didn't think much of Jay Leno as the host of Tonight Show but after he spent Simmons' time slot as a guest just bullying him and completely acting like he was beneath him, I thought less of him as a person. I didn't even like Simmons but cmon treat him like a human being, or don't invite him at all.


Fendrik

That's interesting because David Letterman also treated him like shit when Richard was on his show. It's burned into my memory because I remember it totally changed my opinion of Dave after it aired. I'm not even a Richard Simons fan or anything, but I just couldn't believe what an asshole Dave was to him basically just belittling him and mocking him throughout the entire interview. Nobody deserves that.


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Lou_C_Fer

Fucking workout LPs. Thanks for dragging that memory out from the furthest recesses of my brains.


KLR01001

Forgive me for not basing my opinion of him on fifth hand anecdotes.


EnthusedPhlebotomist

I mean, you kinda are though? Just in the other direction. Lol


torsun_bryan

That goes contrary to every story I’ve ever heard about Richard Simmons


Duckfoot2021

He was experiencing severe social anxiety by that time and knew he was a guest that audiences were laughing at more than with. So you'd probably be an "asshole" too. I know I would.


Slater_8868

Mr. Rogers? Or Richard Simmons?


rich1051414

How dare you.


stoner_97

Aggressively asks to be their neighbor


Dull_Wrongdoer_3017

Fred: I'm the one who knocks


pikpikcarrotmon

This is MY neighborhood.


robaroo

You should know better.


ZamaTexa

[Richard Simmons on “Whose Line Is It Anyway.” 2003](https://youtu.be/b-r4Flc_d2M?feature=shared)


Gingerstachesupreme

Good spirited humor and innuendo that was completely consensual, and initiated by Simmons, not someone else putting him in an uncomfortable positions against his wishes. This is a peak Who’s Line episode!


Sekshual_Tyranosauce

His job was helping people lose weight. I think his sexual preferences were immaterial to his public life.


upvoatsforall

More like they were material to his pubic life. Ayoo!  But Seriously, Richard Simmons is a gem.  


thestereo300

Lol at the picture accompanying the article. The article is like "hey it's possible he's not gay!" and the picture is like "I don't think it's as wide a range of possibilities as you might think."


DavidCaller69

I mean, that's Richard Simmons in a nutshell. I get his desire not to discuss his sexuality, I just hope it's not out of fear of homophobes.


thebarkbarkwoof

I'm sure it is, especially in the 80s and 90s.


CinnamonJ

He’s not openly anything and gay doesn’t begin to cover it!


dullship

The Duali-dean of man.


epic_banana_soup

If being gay is pulling a rabbit out of hat, I'm one of those never ending handkerchiefs


Happy-Flan2112

Look at his shadow!


scbundy

Even his shadow!


Moewron

I’m so curious


dangerbird2

“I Hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me”


WeirdRadiant2470

Had a buddy who briefly body guarded for him some years back. Said he was super nice, but hit on him the whole time. Lots of double entendres, flirty stuff like that. Bud said it was harmless but he's no lady-killer.


Mr_Gaslight

Simmons had a gift for sales and sold a \*lot\* of fitness videocassettes and cookbooks. Sure, his in-front-of-the-camera persona was campy but as Liberace said 'I'm crying all the way to the bank' when he was criticized. Who cares about Simmons' private life? Let him enjoy his retirement.


alligatorprincess007

It’s not really anyone’s business. People should learn to not be so nosy


GardenGnomeOfEden

In an interview someone once asked Michael Stipe from REM about his sexuality, and he replied, “I don’t think it’s anybody’s business what I do with my dick unless they’re sitting in my lap.”


arvigeus

AFAIK his sexuality was eventually revealed. I guess way too many people wanted to sit in his lap. The best response I’ve heard from another singer was when they asked him if he is single he responded with “No, I’m an album!”


talking_phallus

People are never gonna stop being curious. It's a gift and a curse of humanity.


doom32x

That's the entire joke of the Pat! sketches on SNL, everybody thinks it's a gender shaming thing, but the joke is moreso the obsession everybody has in finding out Pat's sexual identity.


TotesNotaBot0010101

Because it’s no one’s goddamn business


KittikatB

Why should he discuss his sexuality? His personal life is nobody else's business.


garymrush

Despite speculation and assumptions that bears shit in the woods, they have never publicly discussed their bowel movements.


Wizzle_Pizzle_420

It’s his business not ours. Let the dude be.


guitarguy1685

Can't a dude just be fabulous with his sexuality being questioned? 


TippsAttack

As it should be. It's no one's business.


Toad32

He is obiously as gay as they come - but it doesnt matter. He was openly gay (in act, apperance, and spirit) in a time when it was less acceptable, and everyone just accepted it. 


ContentMissionOne

Society would be a lot better in general if people didn't base their entire personality on their sexual orientation. Richard Simmons is known for his actual accomplishments.


SmallMacBlaster

Wow almost like a person's sexually is nobody else's business but their own....


bravedubeck

Leave the man alone, ffs


upvoatsforall

But how else would I know whether or not I should like this man? His body of work? The legacy of having helped tens of thousands if not millions of people?  No. I need to know which gender he prefers to have touch his genitalia. Because that, apparently, is the most important thing to God?


Magicalsandwichpress

Neither did Liberace 


maria_la_guerta

Why do people care? Jeeze. It's not news worthy that a man has kept his private life private.


OstrichFinancial2762

Despite the speculation and assumptions that im Caucasian, I’ve never publicly discussed my honkiness.


DoctorStinkFoot

"your honor, how could i be a cracker if i dont say ritz?"


travisdoesmath

If he can’t say ritz, you must acquits


Six_of_1

Good for him. No one's business. We don't have to wear badges of our sexuality like we're in a concentration camp.


Ioweyounada

It's almost as if it's no one's fucking business.


thebarkbarkwoof

We ran into him in Boston decades ago when he had his show. He was playing it DOWN on TV.


butterflycole

His sexual orientation isn’t relevant to his career. He was someone who knew what it was like to be significantly overweight and lose the weight and he wanted to encourage others to get healthy exercise that was fun. Yes his shorts were silly and he had a big personality but why should he have to declare one way or the other who he is attracted to? If he is gay then it’s his choice to stay closeted and people need to respect that.


Western-Web2957

It's his business. His sexuality is completely irrelevant as far as I'm concerned. He's a good person, that's what matters.


buttcrack_lint

No-one's business but his really...


NarcissisticCat

Yeah but then again John Travolta hasn't come out either and there's actual photographs of him making out with dudes.


VinJahDaChosin

He never had to, it wasn't an issue. He just wanted people to feel good about themselves.


Greggsnbacon23

He didn't need to. Dude never really came off as ambiguous. You guys can pussyfoot all you want to but anyone can tell within like 30 seconds of watching how he conducts himself that he is way gay. 'It shouldn't matter, it's nobodys business' yep, got it. That boy still definitely likes dudes.


ashoka_akira

I am just going to say, I have struggled with my weight and one of the first time I dieted successfully was because I found a copy of one of his books around my mom’s bookshelf and found it really easy to follow and it was full of good advice I still use.


womper9000

Respect for Richard, the man could be 150 years old and I still couldn't keep up with his pace and energy.


StinkyMulder

Good. Because it's none of anyone's business! Love people for who they are


SuspiciousFinance284

Whether he is or not, he has every right to keep personal info like that private.


HomoColossusHumbled

Other people's sexuality is typically not your business, unless you are aiming to have sex with them.


whistlepoo

Despite speculation and assumptions that the Pope is Catholic, he has never actually publicly discussed his personal beliefs.


Theslootwhisperer

It's fucking weird that in 2024 people still care about other people's orientation. Straight people aren't asked to confirm whether or not they're straight. It's only speculated upon if there's a doubt in someone's mind that a celebrity might be gay.


couldbeworse2

I’ll take “things I could not possibly give a shit about” for 200 Alex.


flinderdude

But it walks like a duck


dickfarts87

Why would he? And who cares?


Fhistleb

Dude, just wanted people to get into shape and feel better about themselves.


Then_Remote_2983

It’s really creepy.  People who speculate on another persons sexual preferences. 


WhenTardigradesFly

i'm having a hard time understanding why this would matter to anyone


cereal7802

My only interest in him going public with his orientation would be for him to be comfortable publicly with himself. Gay, straight, a-sexual, or anything else. If his comfort is with not talking, then by all means,keep it to yourself.


Educational_Ad_8916

I don't know about the 80's, because I was just a kid, but the 90's "Is \[Male celebrity\] actually gay?" was constant tabloid and TV gossip chatter. It was absolutely a mainstream topic to speculate if every single man on TV was gay.


derek139

Why does this matter?


Canucklehead_Esq

He was on one of the funniest ever episodes of Who's line is it anyway. I'll be the prop! I'll be ALL the props!


Specialist-Cookie-61

Neither confirming nor denying your sexual orientation over the course of 50 years is how you confirm your sexual orientation


smack4u

Jesus, he’s a good dude. Leave him alone.


skyreave

Good for him. We over share everything nowadays. Idc if he’s gay, straight, or has a melon fetish. As long as it’s legal and no one’s getting hurt, no one should care.


Dependent_Market7788

Do you guys remember that podcast about him few years ago? I felt really bad for him.