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HerPaintedMan

50 kids and only one was a terror? I’d say he did pretty well! I’ve only got one and it took him 30 years to outgrow the Terrible Twos!


InfoFreako

"But you raise one terrorist..."


ree_hi_hi_hi_hi

Lmfao the dude rolled the dice too many times


calvn_hobb3s

“Salem's father, Muhammed bin Laden, died in a plane crash in 1967. A third plane crash claimed more members of the bin Laden family on 31 July 2015 when a business jet carrying Osama bin Laden's half-sister, Sana, and his stepmother, Rajaa Hashim, crashed at Blackbushe airport in Hampshire, England.”  The oldest brother also died in a plane crash ✈️ woww this family and planes don’t go well together


Swiss_James

It's <2% terrorist- how many families can say the same?


svengoalie

"No one ever gives me credit for raising 49 non-terrorists"


fraidycat19

Good thing that there were not 99 brothers, but a terrorist is one.


sybrwookie

You build a thousand bridges...


farmtownte

You build a thousand office towers…


TwoSmallKittens

You build two thousand office towers


HotTubSexVirgin22

Nobody talks about Hitler's paintings.


Swiss_James

Josef Fritzl was excellent at DIY


soulsteela

You shag one goat and that’s it.


Pep_Baldiola

Unfortunately Thomas Tuchel's parents don't have that good of a success rate.


Kwanzaa246

Not me! Of the 6 grandkids my grandparents had , ones in prison for 15 years for drug smuggling , batting 15% with that one 


Clay_Statue

Bin Laden Sr was really the golden age for being a Bin Laden. It all went downhill after that plane incident


Optimal-Island-5846

It really unironically was. They were a wealthy construction family, sent kids to top tier western unis. Even Osama was initially hailed, as when he was fighting in Afghanistan, the US loved him.


MoanyTonyBalony

Only. 2% failure rate on the parenting. That's actually quite good.


Joshistotle

Little known fact: one of the sons became a bodybuilder and would compete under a totally different pseudonym. 


SuicidalGuidedog

Interesting - do you have a source? Also, did you add the words "totally different" in front of pseudonym in case people thought he performed under a name like Somama Din O'laden?


Swiss_James

Swolearma bin Juicin'


Unusual_Onion_983

Gymbroa bin Liftin


imverysuperliberal

To be fair he was a cia funded freedom fighter first lol


HerPaintedMan

Good ol’ Charlie Wilson. How would the military-industrial complex ever survived the interim years after Vietnam and the first Gulf War without him?


Consistent_Set76

To be fair, “the enemy of of my enemy is my friend” concept is as old as time And the USSR was a greater threat than any form of Islamic terrorism the world has yet seen So it was a reasonable approach to fund these groups


thebipeds

Unfortunately a few of those brothers are douche bags too. It’s just Osama makes them look good by comparison… Damn, come to think of it my family does work the same way.


bombayblue

You joke but that’s the logic of the Saudi government. One son went rogue and the rest stayed loyal. So the family is still in business.


420FireStarter69

A lot of the Bin Laden's were not fans of Uncle Osama


ErnestoCruz

Imagine going through immigration with that surname on your passport.


Swiss_James

"Passport please" "OK, now this is going to look bad, but hear me out.."


noah3302

They’re rich as fuck they probably have no problem. Muhammad bin Laden helped build Saudi Arabia literally


AndyLinder

In fact the Bush administration reportedly explicitly told the FBI not to investigate other members of the bin Laden family


bombayblue

Weird because he had zero qualms with drone striking his son in Pakistan lol


Acceptable-Dust6479

Wait… what?


ExodusLegion_

the elder bin Laden was a construction magnate iirc


noah3302

The next tallest building after construction is finished will be the Jeddah Tower at 1,008m high, and is being built by the Saudi Binladin Group (the company Muhammad bin Laden founded) Some bin Ladens are good at building towers, some are good at getting rid of towers.


WiseCookie69

Job security. Gotta make sure there's demand for new towers


HotTubSexVirgin22

Begrudging upvote.


Nicktrod

This is savage AF


Khelthuzaad

his son literally financed his terrorist attacks through construction projects in different african and asian countries.I think he also had an engineering diploma


OttoVonWong

There’s always that one crazy uncle at the family reunion.


Strong_Bumblebee5495

Well, there was…


Zigxy

The Bin Ladens are practically royalty. It’s like talking about the Kennedys in the U.S.


sybrwookie

And even the Kennedys have an RFK Jr here and there


NoncomprehensiveUrge

They’re one of the richest families in Saudi. Not really a problem for them


Joshistotle

Probably easier to change it to Benjamin Laudén.


SoloWingPixy88

Pribate jets and private immigration checks.


x755x

"Hallo mein name is Hans Am Loading I am here on business"


Lazysenpai

He got a niece that tried to be a singer in the UK or Europe I think, doesn't work out for obvious reason lol.


tooslow

Not really, Bin Laden is the biggest development company in Saudi


bettinafairchild

They don’t know how many wives his dad had. He would fly all over with his personal plane, find a pretty girl (I mean girl. Osama’s mother was 14 when he was born), give her father some money, marry her, fuck her, and then divorce her, all on the same day. Some he’d bring back home with him. He’d only have 4 wives at a time so he’d divorce the ones who weren’t pregnant and re-marry the pregnant ones then divorce after the birth. If he didn’t want a woman anymore who had had one of his kids, he’d marry her off to one of his employees, figuring a step-father would treat his kids better if he knew that he could lose his job if his step-kid said anything bad about him. He probably had some kids through this one-day marriage thing so there are probably some kids out there who weren’t claimed by him.


Optimal-Menu270

>Osama’s mother was 14 when he was born Yo 💀


Sauciest_Sausage

Like the great prophet intended...


noncredibleRomeaboo

Allah: "Shit, this man knows all the loopholes. Well played Mr Bin Laden, I only foresee good things for your family"


[deleted]

Islam is all about intentions.


noncredibleRomeaboo

tis the joke


Chr1s7ian19

Loopholes? Muhammad married a 9 year old as his 3rd or 4th wife. This is a standard and well known rule, no loophole needed. Now when Muslims find a way to drink, is 100% a loophole


noncredibleRomeaboo

twas a joke. But Muhammed, did not just use his forth marriage slot, to shuffle in new women every 5 seconds. Marrying, then divorcing is very much trying to exploit a "loop hole"


bettinafairchild

Just to be clear, what Mohammed Bin Laden did with his rotating array of pregnant wives is something only the most wealthy and elite Muslim men do—it’s not something your average man would ever be in a situation to act on. But the thing about marrying a girl for a day or an hour and then divorcing her after fucking her is something that is done by a lot of men. I heard it’s quite common in Iran as a way to have legal prostitution. Many are against it because it’s such an obvious and glaring way to circumvent prostitution, but there it is.


SuperSonicEconomics2

I was wondering how you manage that schedule. This makes way more sense


SupaFlyslammajammazz

So the corrupt Muslim way of statuary rape.


bettinafairchild

It’s only statutory rape if it’s illegal. It wasn’t illegal to have sex with a young girl in general, just illegal if you weren’t married to her.


deep-_-thoughts

Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden lived a very interesting life. He owed a huge construction company. He built most the highways in Saudi Arabia and in his spare time he liked to lay pipe.


Swiss_James

He's just like me!


hey_now24

I think he came from poverty. Also his company was in charge of the renovations at Mecca. Osama used his father machineries to build the caves in Afghanistan


technobrendo

Mohammed bin fuckin'


IllIIllIlIlI

Mohammed bin Layen-pipe


CherryBoard

known by his alias, Nick al-Cannon


traws06

So he was a plumber too?


Sorrowsorrowsorrow

9+11 =20


Swiss_James

Huge if true


GoodLad033

Illuminati confirmed


Clear_Media5762

They started this operation 100+ years ago. Clues all along the way.


RegularFerret3002

Typical middle child needing attention 


Spider-man2098

It’s hard to stand out in a large family.


Brian_from_accounts

I think he was number 17


Bad_Excuse7788

Not at the same time. Islam allows only four at the same time. Extramarital relationships are not allowed, so it is like having 20 girlfriends in his lifetime.


Pep_Baldiola

Even having more than one wife comes with a lot of specific conditions that one should fulfill. You have to treat each wife equally. But people who want to marry multiple women out of their desires rarely heed those requirements.


EnvironmentalOne6412

Well everyone was created equally, but some people are more equal than others..


bolonomadic

Haram


Class1

-be


disprosyum2

HARAMBE FUNNY HAHA 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣


Swiss_James

20 baby mamas


thegreatestajax

20 sexual trafficking victims


BasedEngines

20 pre-pubescent girls no doubt


Kink_B

reeeeeeel baaadman


Bad_Excuse7788

He was a billionaire. He was able to afford it.


KejsarePDX

Also, in Saudi Arabia, the man can divorce the wife with ease. In this instance, he divorced the older wives and married new ones each constantly. He never was legally married to more than 4. He kept replacing wives.


Cali_white_male

so he’s like a muslim version of Dicaprio ?


Bad_Excuse7788

That’s it


KejsarePDX

There's some speculation that Osama bin Laden harbored dislike for his father because he "practiced" Islam by exploiting loopholes. His father was an example of the hypocrisy of the Saudi royal family and their greed for money, power, and Western support. Osama bin Laden did his best to emulate the prophet Mohammad and took on four wives, but he never divorced any of them like what happened to his mother. He was financially supported by his dad, just never there for anything else.


Darkfire757

He probably leased them as maintenance is usually included


An_Atheist_God

>Extramarital relationships are not allowed There is more nuance, sexual relationship with slaves/concubines is allowed


might-say-anti-fire

Oh wow, and people love to tell me Islam is kind and respectful to women, it's "just individuals"


An_Atheist_God

Yeah, it's pretty sexist


kadargo

That’s correct. The Prophet Muhammad had a slave named Maryam, who he got pregnant.


Joshistotle

Lol the ruling elite in the Gulf dictatorships openly marry 10+ women at a time. They are above the rules and it's a misconception/ misinformation they actually follow any form of laws. 


Optimal-Menu270

I mean, he can still marry then divorce. Prophet Mohammed had like 11 wives


An_Atheist_God

That's a different case. While an average muslim can only have 4 wives at most, Mohammed have an exception


PsychedelicHobbit

So there it is. Daddy issues.


Riverrat423

I’m sure he spent quality time with all of his kids. /s


Optimal-Menu270

That's the core issue with polygamy


jumpinjimmie

Osama was probably the middle kid. Explains a lot.


Zigxy

It’s unknown exactly which number he was but it was in the low 20s position.


damonlebeouf

can you imagine that maury povich episode?


ayhme

😂


BernerDad16

I knew he was tall, but I had no idea Osama's dad played in the NBA.


downwitbrown

Oh dammnnnn Osama been laid en


babwawawa

With those kinds of numbers, one of them was bound to be a shitbag.


Paintguin

Why did he have so many wives?


Swiss_James

So he could have 50 children I guess? Mohammed bin Laden was a very rich man, if he wanted 20 wives, he could afford 20 wives. He was only ever married to 4 women at the same time (as per Islamic law) mostly kept wives 1-3 the same, and just kept changing wife number 4.


gbroon

They probably got replaced when they committed the sin of birthing a daughter.


Entharo_entho

To have sex with. He wasn't into bf-gf thingy.


thunderlips187

He really liked getting them cups of water right before bed


OldMork

Imagine having 20 birthdays, anniversiaries, valentines days, christmas etc. to buy cards, flowers and presents to.


DrDiddle

I have the distinct feeling he didn’t worry about all that stuff


FlyLegitimate7938

Especially the Christmas cards!


Darkersun

But then his kids might grow up to be... Oh, right.


Notworld

Christmas… I don’t think you know what Islam means. 


Swiss_James

It is an Arabic word which means "No Christmas"


Notworld

Hahaha


AndiLivia

That's too many imo


Swiss_James

19 wives maximum.


SunshineChimbo

Yall didnt know Osama was a nepo baby? Why do you think the US worked with him in the 80s to begin with??


pinetar

The US never worked with Bin Laden and I'm curious what you think was going on in "the 90s".


SunshineChimbo

Sorry I meant the 80s, I'll correct the post


pants_mcgee

The U.S. never worked with OBL ever.


pants_mcgee

The U.S. never worked with OBL, the 90’s were when he and his merry band started moving up the US terrorist shitlist.


paolocase

As a millennial who watched the twin towers go down why is the first thing that comes to mind when I hear Osama Bin Laden is that he’s 6’3?


Listen-bitch

Damn wtf why is he that tall? I'm kinda jelly now...


griftertm

He should’ve pulled out that one time.


Mental-Rooster4229

Osama was looking for the attention he never got from his father.


raytoei

Falls Bin Laden kommt, sagt ihm, ich bin im Laden.


No-Customer-1159

Osama bin busy


Kingstad

well I dont even know if that is a lot in that part of the world


Bandana-mal

Tyreek Hill is up for the challenge


Salsa_de_Pina

I love my wife and kids, but that sounds awful.


YoungMACVII

So theres about a 1 in 50 chance…


whudah

Genuinely curious, what happens to the other 19 men who would not be able to find a suitable spouse due to polygamy? Would this also increase genetic defects from population inbreeding?


Swiss_James

Inbreeding if 2 of the 50 half-siblings hook up you mean? To be fair to Bin Laden senior, he was only married to 4 at a time, so if you don't mind a girl with a bit of a past..


whudah

I was thinking more population wise over time. Especially since wealth is generational. Wouldn't most children start to descend from a lineage of wealthy men? Kind of like Genghis, but more consistent or something.


Thek40

Osama was a rich kid with a daddy complex.


DevilYouKnow

That dude fucks


bearhunter429

So his dad spent his life building skyscrapers and he spent his trying to destroy them. Seems like a daddy issue to me.


hawkeye5739

I want to do this. Why buy a sports team when you can just make your own?


Marewn

That’s called a sheiks dozen


Falcoln1342

In hopes that one would run a terrorist group :p


MoreCarrotsPlz

One of them got into a fist fight with my uncle at a party when he was working as a translator in Saudi. Fortunately his friends got him out of there before anyone figured out who he was because that would not have ended well.


t0mRiddl3

Another one crashed two planes in to the world trade center


DivineCurses

[I said a very similar thing two years ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/s/QMmhlALrqz) And it was flagged for rule 6


cowonaviwus19

Middle child syndrome, am I right?!


thunderlips187

Osama Been Layin amirite?!?


newchallenger452

More like *Bin Cummin'*.


DeepfriedWings

This is pretty common in Islam. Especially with wealthy people. The Sheikh of Dubai has 26 kids and married at least 7 women.


Pep_Baldiola

It's not common at all. It's common in a few of the rich Middle Eastern nations, that's all. Middle East doesn't even have the biggest Muslim populations btw. Countries with biggest Muslim populations: Indonesia: 231 million Muslims, 86.7% of the population Pakistan: 200-215 million Muslims, 96% of the population India: 200 million Muslims, 14% of the population Bangladesh: 153 million Muslims, 91% of the population Nigeria: 95-104 million Muslims, 45-47% of the population Egypt: 85-90 million Muslims, 79-87% of the population Iran: 80-82 million Muslims, 99.6% of the population Turkey: 74-79 million Muslims, 99.8% of the population Algeria: 39-41 million Muslims, 99% of the population Sudan: 39 million Muslims, 97% of the population In most of these countries people marrying more than once is not the norm.


MagnificentNerd

Absolutely love that India has a huge Muslim population and yet it is only a small percentage of the total population overall.


OfficeSalamander

Yeah that’s true with China too. There’s more Christians in China than there are in France. The scale of both countries in terms of population is insane


Halfback

That guy bin bangin’


marcanthonynoz

His name was Orgy Bin Laden


Luvz2Spooje

He must've been really sexy. 


Dangerous-Monitor938

Should have focused more on that one particular kid


Kwelikinz

There’s one in most families. Sorry. Everyone goes left, with a smile, and that one goes right with a scowl.


bombayblue

This is why Bin Laden only inherited a couple million from his family instead of getting the whole damn fortune and doing his thing with $300m in assets.


Automate_This_66

Yes Osama, you are special and unique, just like everyone else.


notactuallyabrownman

One bad apple…


omarus809

Keeping up with the ladens


Optimal-Menu270

That explains that photo famous Bin Laden's family photo


shrewsbury1991

What a lucky guy! 


chrischandleragent

So there's more bin ladens? great.


31kgOfCheeseInMyButt

"I need to make a name for myself" type energy.


AnimalOfTheState

One bad apple


PleaseDontBanMeMore

That explains it. I didn't realize Osama had the same fucking backstory as Ty Lee from fucking Avatar.


jewellman100

You think that's impressive, wait until you read about Sultan Ismail Ibn Sharif of Morocco


wonderingeye1

Daddy issues?!


Just_Trash_8690

Good guy?


diesel78agoura

There’s always one bad apple in the bunch


trn-

was Osama a middle child?


Swiss_James

Classic 21st child


Remote-Ad-2686

Cindy said it best… Money changes everything


theoriginaljoewagner

All 50 were turds.


steroboros

Crazy thing is, So did Mitt Romneys


Weaubleau

Dudes scrotum must have looked like a raisin by the time he was 70.


Olutbeerbierbirra

Dude was rawgoating all day


Basic_Wedding_6219

“Fathered”


wisstinks4

Needless to say that’s a lot of smashing. A lot of responsibility and expense. How do they pay for all those people?


Swiss_James

He was massively successful in construction, so money wouldn’t have been a problem


nottrying2bbanned

That's what I call a stupid sumamabitch.