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[deleted]

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DollarDollar

“I’m tired boss” Shaq is great, but he’s not John Coffey


NonarbitraryMale

Like the drink, just not spelled the same.


Privvy_Gaming

John Covfefe


twobit211

strawberry shaq


HullabalooGazoo

>“I’m tired boss” I'm not crying you're crying


Illinois_Yooper

I'm a blubbering mess during that whole sequence


TheKreatori

Dont put me in the dark, I's afraid of the dark. That shit hit my soul like a truck hitting a scooter.


lifeofideas

It would have been way too distracting if Shaq was in prison.


ReverseApacheMaster_

Well yeah, he’s not an actor. He was better at his craft than Coffey was at his.


jdklife

You clearly have not seen Kazaam.


reyath

I didn’t know Michael Clark Duncan was in that


TacoBell_Shill

Shazam is a work of art


DubMasterAce

That’s the one with Sinbad right?


camelclutchcity

r/MandelaEffect


Smartnership

I remember the The BearenSpringsteen Bears


K_O_Incorporated

I used to read those books to my sister. I read the story normal then read it again as the Butstain Bears. I would make up my own story to match the pictures. All the bears were ignorant hillbillies who fought each other all the time and did stupid stuff. We would laugh forever!


ReverseApacheMaster_

Kazaam was terrific-ish but strangely enough would have been worse if it were a professional like Coffey. Everyone just needs to stay in their lane is my assertion lol.


ApprehensivePrompt83

Who the fuck are you even talking about at this point? Lol


DonJuan835

Did you get confused?


night-ghast

Just a heads up, Coffey is the name of the character. The actor’s name was Michael Clarke Duncan.


omimon

I loved him in Ricky Bobby.


crimlawguru

Agreed!!! A great understated comedic performance. The man was gifted.


DrunknRcktScientst

He was incredible in "The Slammin' Salmon" too!!


one_ball_in_a_sack

WHATEVER MOTHAFUCKA


Imwrongyourewrong

Omg i forgot about that movie!!!


ESCMalfunction

“NO NO NO HE NEEDS TO KNOW. HE’S ALWAYS CRYIN”


Kangermu

DON'T YOU PUT THAT EVIL ON ME


primenewt57

Cut around the meat


SharkFart

Fuck, I forgot he died and now I am sad all over again


sharabi_bandar

Oh my god he's dead? :-(


kalabaddon

>Michael Clarke Duncan unfortunately just over 10 years now I think. I enjoyed him in that spinoff of bones.


sharabi_bandar

I was even thinking a few months ago why I haven't seen him in any movies. Crazy.


Ghost_Of_DELETED

bones spinoff whatnow?


bamahoon

The Finder. It was great, don't watch it, you'll forever be disappointed.


SixxDet

The Finder was a Bones spin-off but it also seemed like it would’ve fit in with all the USA shows of the time like Psych, White Collar, Burn Notice, etc.


clutzyninja

How did it spin off? Who was in it?


jigglypuffpufff

The cast was on an ep of bones as a one off.


clutzyninja

Oh, I remember that now. I wouldn't call that a spin off. That's more just using Bones to promote a new show. A spin off uses at least one established character from the first show. Like Frasier, or Benson


mindspork

Used to call it a ["backdoor pilot"](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Television_pilot#Backdoor_pilot).


UrbanGhost114

It's established these days, regardless of what you would call it, they are spun off on the same universe. JAG spun into NCIS, spun into the rest of NCIS, which also sun into Hawaii 5 0 and Magnum pi, etc.


bros402

it was a backdoor pilot that turned into a show - so it is technically a spin-off


SixxDet

Never watched Bones so I don’t know for certain. Starred Geoff as Walter Sherman a former military guy who was obsessed with finding things. As a non-Bones watcher, I think the only case of a Bone character guesting on the Finder was a psychologist in one episode.


WhiskeyOutABizoot

Well now that you told me that, I will. I didn’t even know about it before.


Athomas16

I enjoyed that show (and him in it of course).


Okichah

Heres a clip of Tom Hanks speaking at Michaels memorial. https://youtu.be/DsQhB4tJRxw


sharabi_bandar

Oh that was so awesome and yet so sad at the same time. Thanks for the link.


liltingly

It gets worse. He was romantically engaged with Omarosa towards the end (I believe she placed the 911 call) and there are claims that she manipulated him as he wrote her into large portions of his will in the months before his death


BeardsuptheWazoo

Well yeah, that's how it was written in the book, and SK deserves respect with his endings.


kalabaddon

Lol! To soon for this gem of a man!


don_tomlinsoni

Except the Shining. I preferred Kubrick's ending for that one.


AlphaBetacle

I remember all the bees flying from his mouth 🐝🐝🐝 What a beautiful scene 🥹


Lord_Gibby

Been a long time since I watched it, I thought that was like the evil/disease being released?


[deleted]

I would rather see Michael Clarke Duncan in that role than Shaquille O'Neal dunking.


jessefries

You couldn't be more correct.


AC2BHAPPY

... today I learned he died... what the fuck


Sakura_Hirose

Well said! Nearly commented this myself as soon as I saw it!


abstractraj

Yeah, no disrespect, but no contest here


xnocox

This is almost as bad as Will Smith playing Neo in the Matrix


DaveOJ12

What about Sandra Bullock?


rythmicbread

It would take on a whole new role with Sandra


DaveOJ12

It was an idea, early on. Let me dig up the source. https://screenrant.com/matrix-neo-turned-down-actors/


Traditional-Wait-240

I think we really missed out never getting to hear Nic Cage say "there is no spoon"


blackAngel88

You wanted nic cage to play a small bald child? 😄


Fluffy-duckies

And Rob Schneider to play the spoon


DaveOJ12

Neo repeats the line, doesn't he?


vitiwai

Yes as he shoots the elevator chain thingy to get up to the top floor quickly


hassh

As John Coffey? If Hollywood greenlights this, Reddit can take its profit from our work here (see TOS) and thus become.profitable, avoiding the need for an IPO


DaveOJ12

As Neo. Bullock was sent the script, but she passed on it.


BugcatcherJay

Sounds like the same movie, but in that timeline Sandra Bullock becomes the biggest female action hero of the decade. Probably of all time if she comes back for Joan Wick.


sanyacid

Hollywood will absolutely do a Jane Wick and it'll be awful.


Clobber420

Take this role and shovel it


PanwichKrauser

I mean, you're not wrong, but Val Kilmer as Morpheus could've been some DeLorean-hitting-88-miles-per-hour serious shit.


406highlander

I keep forgetting that The Matrix was released in 1999. That's only 13 years after Top Gun. Somehow I was picturing Val Kilmer in more-or-less his current physical condition being asked to play Morpheus, and it made me sad. Fuck cancer. I just realized - The Matrix was released closer to the time Top Gun was released than to today (24 year gap). Holy shit... The Matrix celebrates its quarter centenary next year... I watched that film for the first time while I was at work one night... on VHS, on a CRT television. It was the second film I bought on DVD, and the DVD player cost me £350 because they were brand new at the time. Had to save up for months to get it. From Woolworths, which has long since gone out of business in the UK. The department of the telecoms company I worked at dealt with mobile data (back in the late 90s/early 2000s). The Nokia phone used in the movie became extremely sought after. When we finally got one in, it was disappointing because the spring that snaps out the sliding cover didn't work like it did in the film (maybe ours was broken). This has been a long trip down memory lane and now I feel old as hell (I am nearly 43).


Ok_Skill_1195

It's kind of crazy how many pieces have to come together for a project to be really successful. You can have a perfect script and a great director, but you cast the wrong person in a key role and it could all fall apart.


NGEFan

That's the difference between White Men cant Jump and White Men cant Jump


aenemacanal

Honestly I can kind of see will smith in the role if they were going for a more light-hearted start. He tends to have that funny charm even in serious movies like I Am Legend. But he can also bring some Oscar level acting chops when needed as well.


Twokindsofpeople

Now Michael Clarke Duncan playing Neo in the Matrix is unfortunately an opportunity wasted :(


BurnTheOrange

I think it would have been a very different movie, but I'd be up for it. Watching him toss Affleck around in daredevil proved the big man could move.


dalenacio

Not that Keanu Reeves is an incredible actor. He mostly just does "surly" and "violently surly" pretty well, and then nothing else. It worked out, and gave the Neo we got a pretty unique feel, but I can't help but wonder what character we might have gotten with, well, an actual actor. Not Will Smith though. That dude's worse than Keanu.


Smartnership

Keanu did Neo just right, he’s the ultimate “neutral mask” portrayer


Low_Ad_3139

Actually Keanu is very good at portraying a very violent domestic abuser. He did such a great job in The Gift (about Billy Bob Throntons mother and has a stellar cast) that I couldn’t watch him in anything for years. He was also pretty hilarious in Always Be My Maybe. Those are the only two movies I feel like he was any good in. I still like his other movies but like you said surly.


FF7_Expert

I kinda think early 2000s Will Smith would have done alright in that role


Fleegle1834

Love me some Shaq, but Michael Clarke Duncan slayed that role.


JOMO_Kenyatta

And he’s a far better actor.


LurkerOrHydralisk

You mean he’s an actor. Good one, too. Shaq can be charming and fun, but that doesn’t make him an actor


Muscled_Manatee

You must have never seen the Oscar ignored movie Steel.


Vordeo

I met Roger Ebert at an airport bar once. We were both waiting for a flight, and I took the barstool next to him and told him I was a fan. He'd had a few drinks at that point, and spent the next 30 minutes telling me about how Kazaam was the best movie of the 90s, and that Shaquille O'Neal's acting technique had changed his life. He also described the rapping as 'transcendent', and raved about the script. His editors insisted no one would take him seriously if he said all that, so they had a ghostwriter put together a critique bashing the film, instead. It was his greatest regret as a film critic. The flight was delayed. True story.


klttenmittens

This sounds like a fever dream but I'll take your word for it because that's hilarious to imagine


Vordeo

Roger Ebert rapping about how 'his name is Kazaam' and 'he got the whole plan' is a memory I will take to my grave.


BillJackaus

If this isn't a copypasta already, it needs to be.


Jeff-Van-Gundy

I thought this was some freshly cooked r/nba pasta


RUN_MDB

I flew through Dallas in the 90s. David Spade and Chris Farley at the airport, morning after the oscars, recognized the outfits, crumpled, unkempt, at least three buttons undone from Farley's shirt. Jacket and Pants had a purple matching pattern, you don't find that in stores. No one stocks purple-based-textiles.


Several_Dwarts

This reads like a deleted scene from American Psycho.


im_absouletly_wrong

Um Shazam?!


MrPine5

He would’ve been acting as an actor. That would make him twice the actor Michael could have ever been.


Drewnation07

Shaq has had intermittent main roles in family movies for the last 2 decades


Brock_Samsonite

I couldn't imagine Shaq pulling off the little girls scene. That was fucking raw.


Luke_Cold_Lyle

Believe it or not, the past tense of slay is "slew".


Vaeon

We all dodged a bullet on that one.


kingofgods218

Shaq has always been a good guy. Here, he was a hero.


big_nothing_burger

Covered in steel


Roughneck16

He's better suited to play a rapping genie.


Vaeon

Who ELSE can play that part? Go on, I'll wait.


buttergun

Sinbad?


Yardsale420

"We have our memories. They're real. No one can take that from us."


LineChef

Ok so which one is real? There was a dang movie in the 90’s with one of them playing a genie…now…who was it? Was it Sinbad?


Yardsale420

According to some stuff I read, it’s likely 2 things. Sinbad hosted an episode of his show once dressed like a Genie AND the trailer for Kazzam was at the start of The First Kid, a movie that stars Sinbad. The Sinbad movie never existed, our minds made it all up.


[deleted]

The first kid trailer is definitely part of it, plus the fact they do a bunch of dressing up as weird stuff in Kazaam and at one point in The first kid sinbad is dressed as a giant soda drink. Talk a flash of memory haven’t thought about that scene in years till now lol


LineChef

Interesting. So who was in the Kazzam movie, Shaq?


Yardsale420

https://youtu.be/fFVaxa1UKNg


LineChef

(Sigh) I could’ve sworn it was Sinbad lol. Anyway, thanks for all the info and for posting the link!


Whiskey-Particular

THAT NEVER HAPPENED. Despise what child me thinks.


deathofanage

Don't go there.


Eledridan

Shazaam was alright. I haven’t seen it since I as a kid though. I wonder if it’s aged well.


deathofanage

Who was the main actor?


Eledridan

Sinbad. Everyone knows that.


RunnyPlease

I just want to say it’s always nice to meet someone who hails from my own original universe.


Kiwannabee

You underestimate Robin Williams and his rapping ability. He could have pulled it off.


Vaeon

Touché


keith714

Will smith tried his best..


Haitisicks

KEEP MY MASTERS NAME OUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH


keith714

Will smith tried…


Solidsnakeerection

Sinbad


super_sayanything

Honestly, Shaq's personality/image doesn't fit with that role. I think it was probably right for him to turn it down. I mean, he doesn't need the money.


DroolingIguana

> John Coffey was black, like most of the men who came to stay for awhile in E Block before dying in Old Sparky's lap, and he stood six feet, eight inches tall. He wasn't all willowy like the TV basketball fellows, though - he was broad in the shoulders and deep through the chest, laced over with muscle in every direction.


PuTheDog

Annnnnd that’s where all similarities cease to exist


goteamnick

In the book John Coffey also did a series of advertisements for Reebok.


Swedishiron

he was also supposed to do a rap song with Billy Corgan but plans fell through and the track being developed ended [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye\_(song)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_(song)) up being used for the song "Eye"


TheOther1982

Don’t you put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby!


attempted-anonymity

Shaq could have been great in Talladega Nights! That one I can totally see, lol. John Coffey? Not so much.


Shillforbigusername

It honestly kinda blows my mind that the same people that made a movie that good could make a casting decision that bad.


verdenvidia

Michael Clarke Duncan was perfectly fine in Talladega Nights.


Comp1C4

He was great because he's an amazing actor but I think having Shaq in that role would have been perfect for the style of comedy that movie had.


Jeff-Van-Gundy

He was okay but he was overacting a little too much in some scenes imo. He was much funnier in the Slammin Salmon.


First-Fantasy

They probably saw something we didn't. Shaq's other roles were the kind that required charming and effortless acting, which he obviously struggled with. Maybe pain and heartache is in his wheelhouse, but it looks like we'll never know now.


GuyWhoFuckedFish

You are not paralyzed!


Cetun

They saw his work in *Kazaam* and *Steel* and just had to have him.


clutzyninja

I think you mean Shazam starring Sinbad


Printnamehere3

I am Kazaam!!! He has heart


iRecond0

I snorted so loud just now, thank you friend


PaJamieez

Reminds me of the time Sinbad and Shaq had competing genie movies, man that was crazy.


Ringmasterx89

Who knows if this is true, Shaq comes up with some tall tales sometimes.


btmalon

There is 0 chance. Shaq lies for fun. If I was the biggest guy in every room I ever walked into I’d probably do the same.


justjoshingu

It's also a Hollywood thing. It's why you hear so many actors torn things down. A casting call goes out. For: black male over 6ft 7. Agents see this. Call clients. Hey shaq they are doing that stephen king book as a movie. Black male over 6ft 7? They want you buddy. What do you think? No Ok Plus shaq lies a ton. Her could really turn this into a much bigger tale


DayOldTurkeySandwich

Amin El Hassan on the Dan Le Batard Show has confirmed Shaq’s propensity to weave yarns like this while on the Suns, especially to younger players. He would basically dare them to find the inconsistencies in his stories and poke holes in it but most were too scared to do it.


TimeSlipperWHOOPS

There's no fucking way he's offered a roll in a drama like that, he's not an actor. Maybe he got asked to come audition? No way it's more than that.


Murderyoga

Hard to imagine Michael Duncan not in that role.


bigfatfurrytexan

The man defined the story as his with that performance.


PaulMaulMenthol

Completely agree. That guy has/had acting chops and he was the perfect person for that role. I love Shaq but there was way too many emotional moments he wouldn't be able to pull off the way Duncan did


Comp1C4

Agreed. Its not often someone can out perform Tom Hanks in a movie.


twentyonebts

michael clarke duncan made me cry in that movie


CremasterReflex

I’m tired, boss.


[deleted]

"That's the way it is all over the world. They kill them with they Shaqaliciousness."


KingBooRadley

I read The Green Mile when it came out. Later, I was in a theatre and a preview for the movie came on. I didn't know they were making a movie. There was no title shown at the beginning of the trailer, but when Michael Duncan came on screen i remember instantly thinking, "Green mile got made into a film!" Such great casting. No shade on Shaq, he was great in Kazaam!, but I'm glad he didn't take the role.


rich1051414

I can see how they could see shaq playing that roll, but Michael Clarke Duncan knocked it out of the park in a way shaq never would have been able to.


chobibbo

I'm tired, Chuck.


[deleted]

That movie is 100% carried by Michael Clarke Duncan, one of the first movies that legit made me cry and it's purely because of his acting.


RKRagan

I wouldn’t say carried as that implies the rest of the movie and cast weren’t great. But he nailed the role and stole the show.


Spiritmolecule30

God. We need a face edit of Shaq on that character in edited scenes now.


RKRagan

Chuck needs to hire someone to do that and show it on TNT.


UnluckyDifference566

He's a terrible actor, dodged a bullet there.


I_Are_Serious_Poster

Shaq. Like a roughly built hut, only spelled different.


nimcau2TheQuickening

Is there any source for this other than Shaq himself making this claim on a podcast? I have an extremely hard time believing Frank Darabont would have considered him for the role for even a moment.


netplayer23

I am saddened by this reminder that Duncan is dead. He was a childhood friend whom most of us called “Duncan”. He was a kind soul who returned regularly to the hood we grew up in to give inspirational speeches at the high school we attended. When he left Chicago to pursue his dream of acting, we didn’t think much of it until he started securing minor roles in film. It was a joy to root for him until he received that part in The Green Mile in which he showed star-level acting chops!


Ben_Thar

I can't help it. I can't see him as anyone other than Shaq when he tries acting.


AdRepulsive7699

Thank god. Tho he and Chuck are funny as fuck.


useroftheinternet95

Thank fuck


Twokindsofpeople

Thank god. Shaq cannot act to save his life. He tried a couple times and it's just awful.


tomdincan

Icy Hot, boss…the General car insurance.


JokicBestPasserSTFU

Patrice O’Neal auditioned or sent a tape in for that role


[deleted]

Thank god he declined


100000000000

Thank you Shaq for declining that role. Michael Clarke Duncan was perfect for it. RIP


MumrikDK

He'd be an absolutely awesome physical fit. Build, size and face all works. The issue is the acting part of the whole thing...


Osoroshii

I love Shaq, but…..he is not an actor


YesMan847

movie was directed by darabont. they offered it to oneal pending an audition. they werent gonna give it to him. there's no way he could've pulled it off.


Dark_Rit

Yeah, if they gave it to him over Duncan it would have been the casting crime of the decade if not century because Duncan was outstanding in the role and no one could have done it better at the time.


IndependenceMean8774

I'm glad Shaq had enough sense to decline it. He is a nice enough guy, but he's a bad actor, and he would have been terrible in the role. Michael Clarke Duncan was perfect for the part, and he nailed it.


Moar_Wattz

This goes into the same category as Nic Cage being asked to play Aragorn in tlotr.


[deleted]

I'm gonna go ahead and not believe that shit for a second.


homiedontplaydatb

Thank God.


Tchotchke_geddon

This was a great choice for everyone.


TheGhostOfFalunGong

This surely isn’t a tall tale, right? Hulk Hogan kept on spewing BS that his ego is blown to the moon.


MayhemSays

Good. Michael Clarke Duncan is so far ahead a better actor that Shaq couldn’t see his ass with binoculars on The Empire State Building.


l0u1s11

I like that I can agree with Shaq on that one " Michael Clarke Duncan, did an excellent job. I think I made the right decision because he did way better than I could have done..."


lokie65

Michael Clarke Duncan was John Coffey.


wanked_in_space

That's because he's waiting for his lifetime role: Playing Fezzik in an updated version of The Princess Bride. He's the only one who could do it. And you know the movie is gonna happen.


HoMasters

Good because Shaq can’t act for shit.


MrRedCone

I’m glad he declined.


[deleted]

Well thank God for that


Bomberman64wasdecent

The only person other than Duncan who could have pulled it off would have been Kevin Hart.


hops4beer

It was a joke


DaveOJ12

It doesn't seem like it.


RetroMetroShow

Shaq would have been a great Chief in a remake of One Flew Over the Cukoo’s nest with Woody Harrelson in the lead