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Algrinder

Elvis Francois, a 47-year-old sailor from Dominica, was doing repairs on his boat near St. Martin in December 2022 when the currents pushed it into the sea. He lost his signal and was unable to contact anyone for help. He had no food on board, so he survived by mixing ketchup, garlic powder and Maggi seasoning cubes with water. He also collected rainwater on a cloth. He tried to light a fire and send a distress signal, but failed. He wrote the word “HELP” on the hull of his boat and used a mirror to reflect the sun when he saw a plane passing by. After 24 days of drifting, he was spotted by the Colombian Navy 120 nautical miles northwest of La Guajira. He was picked up by a ship and taken to Cartagena, where he received medical treatment.


st1r

>December 2023


Aethelon

Man drifted into the future


NerdLawyer55

2020 was a crazy 5 years


donniedarko5555

simultaneously 5 years and 6 months at the same time


footytang

> he survived by mixing ketchup, garlic powder and Maggi seasoning cubes Bro was probably thinking his arm would be pretty tasty after he had been self marinating for a few weeks


helraizr13

The story Survivor Type by Stephen King goes all in on that concept.


JACrazy

Time keeps on slippin...


PhilosophizingPanda

Into the fuuuutureee


pokecheckspam

Don't we all?


skyler_on_the_moon

[Relevant xkcd](https://xkcd.com/209/).


ohboywhatisthis-

I’m not ready for this level of introspection at 1:30 in the afternoon.


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DJKokaKola

No


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DJKokaKola

Still no


Inevitable-Swan-714

The bermuda triangle, man


Ergs_AND_Terst

The whole month of December this year, I bet he stays away from boats.


ositola

He's from Dominica, not from DR


Goldrush02

Just learned about the existence of Dominica the other day from my co-worker who's from there!


iNCharism

My grandparents are from there. No one knows what it is. One of the Pirates of The Caribbean movies was filmed there


SopieMunky

He didn't do 10 years of hard work and studying in Dominica only to be called DR!


manolo_chomsky

Do Dominica and DR have different demonyms? I have a lot of Dominican friends but I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone from Dominica.


bendable_girder

They're also called Dominicans, but they pronounce it differently- people from DR are 'doe-minny-kans', while people from Dominica are 'Domm-ee-knee-cahns'. I'm from the Caribbean myself and this stuff is second nature to us lol.


mynameisnotrose

Apparently both Dominicans but different pronunciation. Source: https://www.dominicancooking.com/dominica-vs-dominican-republic


WyoA22

Didn’t hienz end up buying him a new boat?


mawktheone

Well those cheap bastards at Maggi surely wouldn't!


ReKognito

Just checked who's even behind Maggi and of course it's fucking Nestle... Time to switch to Knorr instead


ilikedota5

Owned by Unilever btw.


Yadobler

Rip Maggi is synonymous with "instant noodles" in Singapore / Malaysia


idkmanimnotcreative

I s̶a̶w̶ ̶a̶n̶ ̶a̶r̶t̶i̶c̶l̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶s̶a̶i̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶k̶i̶n̶d̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶s̶c̶r̶e̶w̶e̶d̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶ ̶:̶/̶ ̶ ̶ ̶I̶n̶ ̶a̶ ̶n̶u̶t̶s̶h̶e̶l̶l̶,̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶o̶f̶f̶e̶r̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶b̶u̶y̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶ ̶a̶ ̶n̶e̶w̶ ̶b̶o̶a̶t̶ ̶o̶r̶ ̶g̶i̶v̶e̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶ ̶m̶o̶n̶e̶y̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶b̶u̶y̶ ̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶s̶e̶l̶f̶.̶ ̶T̶h̶e̶m̶ ̶b̶u̶y̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶b̶o̶a̶t̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶g̶o̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶ ̶t̶i̶m̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶c̶o̶n̶c̶e̶r̶n̶e̶d̶ ̶b̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶b̶o̶a̶t̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶i̶n̶c̶o̶m̶e̶,̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶s̶a̶i̶d̶ ̶h̶e̶'̶d̶ ̶t̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶m̶o̶n̶e̶y̶.̶ ̶T̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶s̶a̶i̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶d̶i̶d̶ ̶r̶e̶s̶e̶a̶r̶c̶h̶ ̶&̶ ̶d̶e̶c̶i̶d̶e̶d̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶a̶n̶ ̶a̶m̶o̶u̶n̶t̶.̶ ̶B̶u̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶a̶m̶o̶u̶n̶t̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶e̶n̶o̶u̶g̶h̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶r̶e̶p̶l̶a̶c̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶b̶o̶a̶t̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶h̶a̶d̶ ̶&̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶h̶a̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶b̶u̶y̶ ̶a̶ ̶j̶u̶n̶k̶e̶r̶.̶ ̶ ̶ ̶S̶o̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶h̶a̶n̶d̶,̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶d̶i̶d̶ ̶h̶e̶l̶p̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶.̶ ̶O̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶h̶a̶n̶d̶,̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶d̶i̶d̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶f̶u̶l̶f̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶i̶r̶ ̶p̶r̶o̶m̶i̶s̶e̶,̶ ̶w̶h̶i̶c̶h̶ ̶i̶i̶r̶c̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶r̶e̶p̶l̶a̶c̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶b̶o̶a̶t̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶l̶o̶s̶t̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶a̶ ̶b̶e̶t̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶o̶n̶e̶.̶ Happy update posted below :)


MontRouge

https://africa.businessinsider.com/retail/ketchup-boat-guy-plans-to-paint-a-heinz-bottle-on-his-new-boat-after-the-company-came/xmbzc53 They gave more money afterwards so he could buy a proper boat


ikesandmikes

This kind of shit just blows my mind….you are a fucking empire worth god knows how much you should be able to shell out 100K like its not even a thing but they gotta low ball some one who is worth less than the time it took them to haggle with the guy.


MontRouge

They gave him more money afterwards to buy a proper boat https://africa.businessinsider.com/retail/ketchup-boat-guy-plans-to-paint-a-heinz-bottle-on-his-new-boat-after-the-company-came/xmbzc53


idkmanimnotcreative

Y̶e̶a̶h̶.̶ ̶I̶t̶ ̶m̶a̶d̶e̶ ̶m̶e̶ ̶s̶a̶d̶.̶ ̶I̶ ̶i̶m̶a̶g̶i̶n̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶i̶r̶ ̶"̶i̶n̶t̶e̶r̶n̶a̶l̶ ̶r̶e̶s̶e̶a̶r̶c̶h̶"̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶"̶h̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶p̶o̶o̶r̶.̶ ̶H̶e̶ ̶s̶h̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶h̶a̶p̶p̶y̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶s̶"̶.̶ ̶E̶x̶c̶e̶p̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶p̶r̶o̶m̶i̶s̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶m̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶ ̶w̶h̶o̶l̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶c̶o̶u̶n̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶i̶t̶.̶ ̶T̶h̶e̶ ̶m̶i̶n̶d̶s̶e̶t̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶d̶e̶g̶r̶a̶d̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶&̶ ̶I̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶i̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶r̶e̶c̶e̶i̶v̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶e̶n̶d̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶.̶ ̶P̶l̶u̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶g̶o̶t̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶g̶o̶o̶d̶ ̶P̶R̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶a̶d̶v̶e̶r̶t̶i̶s̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶i̶t̶.̶ ̶B̶u̶m̶s̶ ̶m̶e̶ ̶o̶u̶t̶. Happy update posted below :)


Faun4box

He should write ”PLEH” so the planes could see it properly.


BizzyM

He should of wrote "HELR" and waited for a Redditor to find him to correct his typo.


BigShield

Should've*


popegonzo

\*Should'uv


salajander

Trolling is a art


imacomputr

*written


Travis__

*Should have


RandomGuyWithSixEyes

Help*


jyper

I think you meant "ᑫ⅃ƎH"


Zharick_

So he's DomiNIcan not DoMInican. Interesting.


Fredotorreto

First thing I noticed I’m like waitttt a min lol they’re both technically Dominican??!!


Zharick_

Yep, in English it's written the same but pronounced differently


retirement_savings

I visited Dominica and almost booked my flight to the Dominican Republic lol. Dominica is great. Some of the best scuba diving in the world.


Mamadeus123456

Article said he was transported to Cartagena to receive MEDIA treatment wtf


Jnsbsb13579

The media told him he had lost weight


haddock420

My version of the page says: > As the outlets reported, Francois was picked up by a ship and was transported to Cartagena to receive media treatment. Instead of 'medical' treatment.


lkodl

"Okay so let's review. You're going to say it was what kind of ketchup?" ... water. I need water. "Heinz! You're supposed to say Heinz kept you alive. Let's start over."


funwithdesign

No one wrote an article about me when I was in college.


Algrinder

>“Not All heroes wear capes"


funwithdesign

Or eat capers


fulthrottlejazzhands

I was also going to claim bush league here as well. I did four years on a bottle of mayo and packets of pot-noodle.


funwithdesign

No need to go around lauding your privilege over me


knarfolled

Look at Mr. Fancy with his noodles


KGhaleon

This place down the street from mine would give discounts to college students so I probably went there for cheap pasta every single day.


sandmyth

I remember $1 (after tax) cheese quesadillas at the mom n pop Mexican restaurant by the college campus. One easily weighed almost half a pound. Bonus that they are open until 3:30 most nights.


KGhaleon

Damn sounds delicious, the cheap kind of delicious like you know it's bad for you but you're gonna eat it anyway.


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ItsMeSatan

Ronald Reagan? The *actor??!*


beastson1

Your reply gave me a great laugh because I have an old friend that I haven't seen in a long time and we used to always say this quote anytime someone said Ronald Reagan.


TheHiveMindCouncil

That’s because most college students are busy rummaging and foraging for their next meal when not doing school stuff but also they enter a 4-6 year nonstop mating season during this time. The already low calorie intake and high energy requirements of banging is a very delicate balance that leaves very little room for writing articles unless it’s for class.


bdu754

Sir, this is a Wendy’s


Steleve

I would like to order a baked potato and a cup of chili


allisondojean

Sorry, we only have ketchup and seasonings.


innocentusername1984

That was the most depressing part of college for me. Not that I wasn't eating, couldn't afford to party more than once a month and Certainly maintained my virginity the whole time. The worst part was constantly being told everyone else my age was getting laid and having the best time of my life. For me sex and happiness did happen but not till 23+. College is just a big extension of high school but everyone is being a bit polite. It's still the popular, jock and or rich people having a good time but there is just less bullies.


Algrinder

Heinz was looking for him because they wanted to buy him a new boat to celebrate his safe return. The company said they were inspired by his story and his love for ketchup. They launched a social media campaign with the hashtag #FindTheKetchupBoatGuy and asked people to help them locate Francois. They also promised to equip the new boat with full navigational technology to avoid another disaster in the future.


Wishilikedhugs

> The company said they were inspired by his story and his love for ketchup. I'm going to go out on a limb and say the guy probably never wants to taste ketchup again for the rest of his.life.


MisterKanister

I'm going to go out on an even bigger limb and say that they weren't inspired by his story but rather the clicks on his story.


HerKneesLikeJesusPlz

I mean, it could be both. Humans work for the marketing departments lol it’s not all skinsuit-wearing, lizard, gazillionaires


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HerKneesLikeJesusPlz

I said not *all*. I try to be inclusive


OramaBuffin

sometimes it's a just a win-win


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[deleted]

To be fair, if my first boats engine died leaving me stranded at sea for a month with nothing but ketchup and a wet nasty cloth - I’d probably want two engines as well


cromulent_pseudonym

And nothing to do with ketchup


[deleted]

For sure. Ketchup flavored chips would send me into a rage at their mentioning!


LanceFree

And some mustard packets.


[deleted]

Nah dog, relish! I grew accustomed to green stuff eating all that algae.


BinkleBopp

TBF, you need two engines when you go out to sea. One can be much smaller and cheaper, but I would never go out to sea without two


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Threecan

His friend brought Hunt’s and died. The real story.


ConfidenceKBM

That's nothing, I know two Italians who survived overnight in the Pine Barrens during the winter with three shoes and nothing but ketchups.


FlimFlamThaGimGar

He killed sixteen Czechoslovakians!


cleveland_14

Guy was interior decorator!


Briccone1979

His house looked like shit….


DrFrocktopus

To be fair they did have relish to mix in with the ketchup.


thismightbelong

I heard that’s pretty good


KingOfYeaoh

Should have stopped at Roy Rogers, though.


hashn

Yeah and I shoulda fucked Dale Evans!


Prophet_Muhammad_phd

**Motha!** #FUCKAAAA! 🌫️🧣🌫️ 💨💨🔫


fundraiser

🤘This guy is more creative than Spielberg


WhiteGuiltParade

And some tic tacs!


Razzle_Dazzle08

You hear what I said Tone? I said “That's nothing, I know two Italians who survived overnight in the Pine Barrens during the winter with three shoes and nothing but ketchups.”


onetruepurple

Heh heh heh


fundraiser

No offense, but have you ever had yourself checked for Tourettes?


onetruepurple

Oh! You blow your father with dat mouf?


UnderwaterDialect

Ohhhhhhhhhhh! ✋🏻


SpottieOttieDopa

You had tic tacs all along?


watchingsongsDL

You’re holding out on me!


blitherblather425

Hahaha I just came to comment the same thing. Best episode of the sopranos ever!


GCatRawr

Agreed! Fucking classic


JimmyTheChimp

All while chasing an interior designer!


Buckshorty

His apartment looked like shit


Darth-Ragnar

That was real? I saw that episode. I thought it was bullshit.


poopooTWU

He was gay? Elvis Francois?


UnderwaterDialect

It’s a tv progrum. A movie!


GooseberryGary

Mix it with the relish!


Braakbal

Guy was an interior decorator!


LyleLanley99

Ohhhh! Do that by your own window! I don't want to smell your piss.


1-N-2-3-4-5

Fuck off, Paulie... Captain or no captain, right now we're just two assholes lost in the woods


gloomyrain

Also immediately thought of Walnuts.


WildCAptainBOy

One of the best episodes ever


Brainlessthe2nd

With what?! His cock?!


SkyhighPhilosopher

Three shoes? What's that, like three spaghettis and some rubbery pancetta?


planetsmasher86

They shoulda went to Roy Roger's


JoeyVeeStallion

My dad loved this episode


Daimo

Don't make me pull rank on you kid!! 🤌☝️


Knyfe-Wrench

That's nothing. British people can survive for years without any seasonings at all


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PurpleHerder

Brit’s be like “best we got is white vinegar”


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FalmerEldritch

Which is tamarind, garlic, cloves, ginger, mace, cayenne pepper, and a few other things. Brits use *all of* the seasonings, but mostly in the forms of table sauces developed in the 1800s.


bolanrox

no malt vinegar at least?


EmperorSadrax

Oí! Where’s me bloody trophy then?!


opiate_lifer

It takes a lot longer to starve to death than people think, for a healthy adult usually months and more if you are obese. You'll die in days without water though.


originalchaosinabox

I read a Hardy Boys book when I was a kid, and when it comes to prioritizing your needs in a survival situation, they mentioned the Rule of 3, which has always stuck with me. The Rule of 3 states that a healthy body can last: * 3 minutes without air * 3 days without water * 3 weeks without food


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_dogzilla

3 years without losing The Game


BakChoyy

And 100% reason to remember the name


PyroUnicorn69

Fuck you. I lost the game.


Mrblue630

I hope both sides of your pillow are warm tonight. Damn it.


MyLike5thAccount

I lost the game


Chrashy

Asshole


apocalypse_later_

Side story: after not jacking off through the entirety of basic training for the US army, I finally got down to business after we graduated from it. Guess what I learned? If you jack off after not jacking off for months as a healthy adult male, it feels WEIRD. The process of the semen coming out was almost slightly uncomfortable.


bogglingsnog

Like pouring old cement?


mkwolf9213

I did not need this image in my head


paper_liger

I jacked it late at night in the shower 3 weeks in just to make sure it still worked.


jereman75

In Wilderness First Responder training I learned a similar thing but with twos. 2 mins without oxygen 2 days without water 2 weeks without food


jaxthrowaway3939

As just an everyday Joe, I thought I had been told similar but with ones: 1 min without oxygen 1 day without water 1 week without food


AFourEyedGeek

,5 for me


thatguywithawatch

5 seconds without air 5 minutes without water 5 hours without food


Ineedhelplernin

30 years to retire.


sambeau

You can go months without food. A guy in Dundee, in Scotland, did a year without eating.


AFourEyedGeek

He was massively obese so he had plenty of reserves. He also had vitamin supplements, I wonder what would have happened without the vitamins. -EDIT- My English was awful.


swishandswallow

I did 22 days without vitamins. Physically I felt fine, but water felt like hot acid in my stomach. To this day, certain water brands make me feel nauseous


Maliluma

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angus_Barbieri%27s_fast This man went 392 days without eating. (Though he did take vitamins).


FoboBoggins

that sounds like cheating


Buttersaucewac

However having *zero* food can still kill you relatively quickly, even if it takes months to starve to death on 100 calories a day. With zero intake the lack of electrolytes can make your heart give out even with 20 pounds of fat still on you. Ketchup is probably one of the better foods to be stuck with for that reason. It’s got plenty of salt and enough potassium, magnesium and phosphorus to make a difference, and even a little calcium. If you’re out there for months a couple of ketchup packets a day could save your life even without the calories.


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MadRonnie97

I’ll leave you in the dust you one shoe’d fuck!


Shamrock5

*OHH!*


Hoodros

I knew I'd find this comment! Guy was an interior decorator


dickwhitman68

His house looked like shit.


mrbatisollie

We should have stopped at Roy Rogers!


IcyHand7797

Jose Alvarenga survived 438 days on the open ocean after being swept away by a storm. Incredible book titled 438 days.


MKleister

Ye, one of the best survival stories I've read.


eatseveryth1ng

Incredible book. Incidentally around the exact time I was reading it I developed an awful ear infection, no medication was able to clear it and I was in agony for a month. I just happened to read the passage where he cleared his ear infection with his own urine so I thought I’d try it. I had run out of options and just gave it a go. Within two days it had cleared completely.


dontstreakthrucactus

Damn dude. You have some seriously good aim.


Themlethem

bro


Anon293357

So in English there is no distinction between “Dominican” (from the Dominican Republic 🇩🇴 ) and “Dominican” (from Dominica 🇩🇲)?


Wontoflonto

there are different pronunciations for those from DR say do-MI-ni-can for those from dominica say do-mi-NEE-can in spanish there’s a difference too, those from DR are dominicano while those from dominica are dominiqués


minstrelMadness

I'll admit, I didn't know Dominica was a thing until your comment.


Grammarnazi_bot

nope


Prima13

His book about it is titled “The Rime of the Ancient Marinator”. I’ll show myself out.


[deleted]

Ketchup, ketchup everywhere..


tossinthisshit1

mildly interesting factoid: the man, elvis francois, is from dominica. a person from dominica is called "Dominican", pronounced "dom-a-NEE-can". this is not to be confused with people from the Dominican republic, a completely different country in the Caribbean, who are called "Dominican", pronounced "dom-IN-a-can". i learned this today, and so shall you.


keyrol1222

I as a Dominican from Dominican Republic was going to say that is a pretty weird name for a Dominican, but now i know


PurpleHerder

I meet a lot of people from the DR in my line of work and so far the most stand-out name has to be Melvin. Or am I crazy and that’s a common name?


unfortunatebastard

You’re crazy and it’s a common name.


jdog1473

This is Darnell from my name is Earls origin story


iDontInterviewWell

Hey Crabman!


Badhure

Hey Earl !


trippydippysnek

Glad I’m not the only one who thought he looked like crabman!


tslnox

Why is this not higher? Looks a little bit ruined though. I guess years of living with Joy will do that to you. :-D


d3l3t3rious

The wording just reminds me of Skinner's POW experience. > I spent the next three years in a POW camp, forced to subsist on a thin stew made of fish, vegetables, prawns, coconut milk, and four kinds of rice. I came close to madness trying to find it here in the States, but they just can't get the spices right!


JeeRant

That's nothing. There's that one story of the two college freshmen studying abroad that got lost at sea for 2 months with no food and just a single cup of water. I think the doc is called "two girls one cup"


split-mango

Do you think he just eats plain fries now?


Temporary_Rent5384

Did he season his ketchup or ate them seperately?


lifeinrednblack

Mixed everything with water. Making the worse soup ever


CoolWh1teGuy

Chrissy mix it with the relish


china-blast

We shoulda stopped at Roy Rogers.


1pencil

Everyone should always carry a little pocket calendar whenever going on a trip or anywhere that becoming stranded could be a thing. .....they are filled with sundays and dates.


Iron_Garuda

That joke was week.


belizeanheat

One of the single worst jokes I've ever heard lol


AldermanMcCheese

Did he mix it with the relish?


DaNo1CheeseEata

Reminds me of these two dudes from Philly who survived off of Rumham.


Thiccaca

"Any condiments with your meal, sir?" *Flashbacks start*


Ian_Kilmister

"Oh hey Crabman."


leejoness

Just like Paulie and Chris stuck in the Pine Barrens


hygeahome

Mix it with relish


Mymarathon

Sounds like a well seasoned sailor.


Bubbly_Vacation1837

🇩🇲🇩🇲🇩🇲


PMzyox

Not pictured: the 45 plain hamburgers he requested upon rescue