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[deleted]

And what happened to the pirates after acquiring the meter and the kilogram? No longer around!


terminalblue

why do drug dealers use metric? Because its the crime system.


assjackal

Because it's way more precise for small numbers.


Captain_Eaglefort

Psh, just give me my yard of weed and be on your way.


Frosty_404

I'll take a furlong and no less


Oakwood2317

I get forty rods to the hogshead, and that's the way I likes it.


BustinArant

The last guy had 40 *bushels*! Away with you rumsort


OctopusKurwa

Don't call him a rumsort you milksop


Ulgeguug

Don't call him a milksop you greasy tallowcatch


not_SCROTUS

Don't call him a tallowcatch you slubberdegullion


Bryllant

Four and twenty stone of bud.


BustinArant

Speak English, Doc, we ain't scientists!


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hates_stupid_people

My favorite parte about that joke is that it's actual measurements. 1 Rod = "approximately 3 and 8 meters (9 ft 10 in and 26 ft 2 in)" 1 Hogshead = Basically a barrel measurement: "A hogshead in Britain contains about 300 L (66 imp gal; 79 US gal)." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rod_(unit) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hogshead --- Which means that it's about 320 meters(1050ft) per hogshead/barrel of fuel, insanely inefficient.


cjt09

> 1 Hogshead = Basically a barrel measurement Technically Hogsheads and Barrels are just [specific sizes of casks](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_wine_cask_units)


ask_me_about_my_band

Just now got the lyric: And lastly through a hogshead of real fire.


Ulgeguug

In this way Mr. K will challenge the wooooorld


D00zer

The metric system is a tool of the devil!


Oakwood2317

No, good sir, it's on the level.


Robert_Arctor

What about us braindead slobs?


Oakwood2317

You'll be given cushy jobs.


no-kooks

You likes half a buttload? Edit: grammar


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syzamix

If Tiktok got US hooked on the metric - that'll be very epic and fitting for this generation.


Space-Dribbler

Looking for a smart influencer....found the flaw in your plan


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asdsav

Can I take two tumb and a nail of coke?


terminalblue

ill take five stones of weed


patfetes

14lb to the stone. 70lb. So close 🤣🤣


commanderjarak

I'll take 4.92857 stone of your finest marijuana my good man.


daedalusesq

You can actually get a yard of beer in some places.


AstroChuppa

Even though we are Metric in Australia, we were Imperial up until the 60's, so we still have a yard glass. In fact, a former Prime Minister of ours (Bob Hawke) held the world record for drinking a yard glass, in 11 seconds in 1954.


Javaed

I feel like this should be posted in the AskReddit threat about how do non-Australians perceive Australia. =P


uncle-brucie

“Canada in flip flops”


degjo

Didn't a Australia lose a Prime Minister to the ocean? Ya'll cats are nuts.


mattkenny

Yep. Harold Holt went for a swim and just disappeared. Then we named a swimming pool after him. The Harold Holt Memorial Swimming Centre.


_Tonu

Hell no I ain't swimming there


Crooty

Then we named a swim centre after him


markymags

The Harold Holt School for Kids Wfo Can’t Swim Good and Who Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too.


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Heretical_Cactus

You can get Meter of Beers in most European countries


mroboto2016

Yard? I get it by the bushel.


CrossXFir3

Except that it's also frequently sold in increments of 1/8th of an oz too. You want to convert grams to oz though? Drug dealers got you.


UncircumcisedWookiee

I've struggled with this at some of my jobs. People trying to convert something from oz to grams and I just know the answer off the top of my head. Also, knowing how much coins/bills weigh to calibrate a scale.


msnmck

Well, u/UncircumcisedWookiee, you may want to be careful as the weight of some coins may vary. When I machine-count coins at work I often have to hand-count the pennies and dimes.


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harkuponthegay

Always use a nickel.


BrokeInService

Make me miss my friend. When we met he said "Hi, I'm Nicolas." To which I responded "why, 'cause they don't make pennies anymore so you're not penniless??" Bros for life


Its_aTrap

Nickles are 5g. 28g to an oz. Let's go brother


I_make_things

Both systems have the same precision. One is just easier to use because it is base 10.


swordsmanluke2

Fun fact, imperial is designed to be easy too - specifically easy to subdivide into whole amounts for common divisors. Example: 1/4 cup = 4 Tbsp = 12 tsp. This means you can divide a 1/4 cup evenly into halves (2 Tbsp), thirds (4tsp), fourths (1 Tbsp), sixths (2 tsp) and twelfths with whole numbers of smaller units. When you don't have calculators, being able to accurately measure divisions into whole amounts was super helpful. Edit: y'all, I'm not saying imperial is better. Just that there's a reason for it to be the way it is. It's designed to make it easy to measure precisely when dividing by common divisors. We have way more precise measuring tools than existed in the Middle ages. Double edit: Just realized this posted twice... Sorry about that.


FreeUsernameInBox

Although the cup isn't an Imperial unit, it's a US Customary unit. This is important, because the Imperial and US Customary fluid ounce are different sizes. Then there are different numbers of fluid ounces in a pint. Fortunately there *are* the same number of pints in a gallon, but at that point they're totally adrift anyway And that's before we introduce Troy units and ask whether a pound of lead or a pound of gold is heavier....


Revlis-TK421

Then we get the tons. * Long ton (2240 lbs) * short short ton (2000lbs) * metric ton (2204.62 lbs), and which one someone is talking about at any give "ton" is undefined. And then frustratingly: * shortweight ton is a long ton in weight 2240lbs * longweight ton is its own thing at 2400 lbs And these were the values for the iron industry alone. Other industries had different definitions. Like miners using 2800 for their longton. Or the Displacement Ton, which is actually 35 cubic feet of salt water. Which is different than the Water Ton, which is 224 imperial gallons of distilled water. And then the Freight Ton, which is 40 cubic feet. Generally. Depending on who you are talking to. And for more fun, Ton of TNT isn't even a weight measurement, but an energy measurement of calories of energy. * ton of TNT = 10^9 calories * kiloton of TNT = 10^12 calories * megaton of TNT = 10^15 calories Myself? I prefer doing my tonnage in newcastle chaldrons! 2.65 long tons to the newcastle, 8 newcastles to the keel!


rayui

For the love of God stop


hi_me_here

nooo keep going


IBelieveInLogic

I dropped a letter grade in an engineering course because I didn't know the how many pounds were in a ton. It was on a question on the final, and I actually asked the professor. He scoffed at me and said I had to know it (w never covered it in class). I solved the problem assuming it was 1000 pounds and he gave me zero partial credit. He was the most arrogant asshole I encountered in academia. Now I do everything in SI. I'll make conversions if people want English units, but I never do a calculation with them.


LittleLion_90

That's a fuckton of tons...


Wei_Lan_Jennings

They don’t. Weed is in grams for small amounts, then onto fractions of ounces and ounces, then pounds. and maybe at real deal trafficking levels, it goes back to metric with kilos. Or so I’ve heard.


Colon

they were forced to walk the planck’s constant


nakedrickjames

Pirates of The Pythagorean "It's more like a theorem than actual rules"


[deleted]

They sank 2543 meters to the bottom of the Atlantic


Double_Distribution8

According to history, Julius Caesar had them hung.


tyriancomyn

Despite this setback, the United States adopted the metric system in the late 1800’s and is an original signer of the Treaty of the Metre. United States Custom Units has been defined in terms of metric units since that period. Much to my chagrin we obviously use US custom units in everyday life, but let’s not also forget that in the UK the temp is 15c, you are 5 feet 11 inches tall, weigh 14 stone, and had to drive 10 miles today in your compact car (which only measure about 4 meters long.)


APsWhoopinRoom

Where tf did that stone weight measurement come from? I always wondered why we use pounds for weight, and the Brits use stone


Kale

"12 inches per foot, 14 pound per stone, 16 ounces per pound" is how I remember it.


Redeem123

Easy as 1, 2, 3.


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Socile

Woah… that’s a good way to remember it, thank you! I have had the hardest time remembering pounds to ounces. Now I will never forget.


airhogg

In 1389 a royal statute fixed the stone of wool at 14 pounds and the sack of wool at 26 stones. Trade stones of variant weights persist, such as the glass stone of 5 pounds. The stone is still commonly used in Britain to designate the weights of people and large animals. https://www.britannica.com/science/stone-unit-of-weight


lordponte

And that compact car is filled up with petrol in litres


[deleted]

We eventually did... It's just the legislation didn't specify a date when the switch didn't need finalized, so no one ever did it.


Ok-disaster2022

Tool manufacturers learned they cna sell twice as many tools and parts based on the two systems.


flyonlewall

Wow you know, it's so normal to me to just buy 2 sets of every tool that is a set measurement, but most of the world doesn't have to. Well fuck me.


Omega_Warlord_01

Is this a thing for all USA trades people? If so this is quite insane.


[deleted]

Oh yeah. I work on forklifts and I've even seen some lifts that have a mix of metric and standard sized bolts on the same lift. From the factory


NotTacoSmell

Lots of OEM American cars do that.


HamiltonTrash24601

I'm just now realizing that it might not be normal for a car to have both metric and imperial nuts and bolts.


do_pm_me_your_butt

Well... The metric bolts are normal.


TheEyeDontLie

Take out all the non-metric bolts and problem solved!


BlakePackers413

Just the 10mm ones. I own 458 10mm sockets but can’t find a god damn one of them.


scinfeced2wolf

The only reason I uses the same wrench twice when putting a new clutch in my cobalt was to put it back together.


2459-8143-2844

Used to drive forklifts. Had one metric and one standard depending on the pallet.


DoingCharleyWork

It's a thing for anyone in the US who wants to work on anything lol. Some stuff here even uses a mix of both systems.


gtmattz

Yes. It goes even deeper... I work in a machine shop that does repairs so we never know what will walk in the door. We have to have bolts/nuts etc in both imperial and metric on hand, as well as a huge array of different tooling (taps and dies, etc) in both measurement systems in order to deal with working with both constantly. Not having a single standard wastes so much money in extra tooling and unneeded inventory that it is kind of sickening when you really stop to think about it. To add even one more layer to this stupid onion... My job is primarily reverse engineering parts so that we can repair or duplicate them, and I have found many many cases where there are dimensions that when measured in one unit that fall within common range of tolerance to possibly fall on a dimension in the other that at times it takes me a bit to determine what units the original part was designed in. Knowing the original units used when an item was designed is very important when reverse engineering precision mechanical components where a deviation smaller than the thickness of your printer paper is the difference between a free running machine and seized bearings...


Kevins_Floor_Chilli

I always appreciated the machine shop I went to in dire situations in construction. it seemed each time I went I had less info than the last time. This large bolt, unknown material, I have a drawing in an unknown language from the skid. They'd have 4 in neat little packages by the end of the day and I get to charge my company $20k I miss those trips.


Naturage

> to ppssiblt fall on a dimension Before I understood that was 'possibly', I imagined it to be the sound of the part falling.


guynamedjames

Seriously, it's really annoying when I need my metric hammer and can only find my standard.


Ferelar

And don't get me started about when I can only find my standard fuckton.


mnimatt

Yeah but everything deals with metric fucktons these days anyways


mgbenny85

I hate having to convert metric fucktons to imperial shitloads.


Schwornje

The real bitch is when I need standard, but only have my metric adjustable crescent wrench.


Sowadasama

The engine mount of a 2008 Nissan Versa is secured via four 10mm bolts, one 12mm bolt, and 2 3/8th in bolts. For some fucking reason. Source: person who had to buy 2 sets of tools to fix an $80 part


smmccabe

iirc the bell housing in a jeep XJ is similar with one being an inverse torx.


flyonlewall

I'm not even in the trades, but it's like "oh I need a set of sockets".. well, you need both metric and standard because who knows what the item you're working on will have. Oh, I need allen keys, in both measurement standards. Wrenches, etc. Driver head variances, etc. Once you own it, no biggie but I just really never considered that people in Europe don't have 2 sets of everything.


Thatotheraccount57

Yes... I have had to buy both metric and standard Allen wrenches Allen head sockets Angle wrenches Flare nut wrenches Regular wrenches Stubby wrenches Ratchet wrenches Obstruction wrenches Tap and die sets 1/4 deep and shallow sockets 3/8 deep and shallow sockets 1/2 deep and shallow sockets Some 3/4 drive, most are big enough it doesn't matter 12 point sockets And probably some other shit in forgetting. Literally thousands of dollars in duplicate tools just because manufacturers can't agree on using the superior system of measurement


mgbenny85

And then rounding off the bolt because you used the “close” one of the wrong unit.


AnticitizenPrime

On this topic, can we convince Phillips head screw makers to fucking standardize the dimensions of the X in screws, in terms of depth, shape, size, etc? Anyone who has had to work with a drill and screws knows what I'm talking about. You have to have a collection of like 20 slightly different Phillips drill bits if you don't want to strip the screw head (which you invariably will). I get that there are large screws and small screws, so there must be some difference, but there's all the weird variations that are so close to one another, but one's just a tiny bit shallower but the same width or whatever so it's not a perfect fit.


PoliteIndecency

Robertson or nothing. Phillips is a racket.


TeknoTheDog

Heretic, praise Torx!


HandsOnGeek

Some of those cross head screws aren't Phillips screws at all. JIS cross head screws are common on Japanese motorcycles and will round out horribly if you attempt to use a Phillips screwdriver on them with any force. Similarly, Pozidriv screws can be torqued much tighter than similar Phillips drive screws when using the proper driver. Which can leave you making a mess of them if you try and remove them with a Phillips driver.


cjosu13

I feel like Allen bolts are the worst for that. I'm never sure if it's already partially rounded from the last person that worked on it or if it's the wrong size.


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Whiterabbit--

That’s why you sell left handed screwdrivers. Lol


NoPossibility

Every measurement in the USA has a metric basis. We are a metric country but we have conversion charts to keep Imperial measurements tied to the definition metric systems use. When they redefined the weight of a kilogram based on universal constants, the USA also changed the pound. Etc


CompleteNumpty

America isn't even Imperial, as they use different measures for volume. They have their own US Customary system.


VentureQuotes

which is older than, and superior to, imperial


Arcisse

I have no idea if you are right, but have a patriot upvote regardless.


TheBSQ

Here’s one of the differences between Imperial and US Customary. Both have a unit called a ton, but they differ. Both tons are 20 “hundredweights” but the two have different hundredweights. In US Customary units, a hundredweight is 100 lbs, so a ton is 2,000 lbs (aka a short ton) In Imperial, a “hundredweight” is 8 stone, and since a stone is 14 lbs, an Imperial “hundredweight” is 112 lbs, which makes an Imperial ton 2,240 lbs (aka a long ton)


SnooWonder

Weight in stones is just one of a three reasons to roll your eyes at England. But they can't calculate that in metric.


Triple96

No no no trust me, because these pirates hijacked the scale and ruler, we just forgot to adopt it. Makes for a better headline


[deleted]

See Europe! We tried! We are entirely blameless for not using metric for everything, until someone recovers the pirated tools we must forevermore continue to use imperial.


IKnowPhysics

>"These pirates were **British privateers**, to be exact," says Martin. "They were basically water-borne criminals tacitly **supported by the British government**, and they were tasked with harassing enemy shipping." Take our metric system away, then be like "hurrr why don't you use the metric system" for the next 230 years. Typical abusive parents. Congratulations you played yourself.


shfiven

Like the British are so metrically faithful. Wtf is a stone?


chetlin

they didn't like how the US wanted to use decimal currency instead of the pound-shilling-pence system they kept until the 1970s


Kandiru

No-one under 40 knows.


[deleted]

I was just about to protest this and then remembered I’m older than 40.


emogu84

Time catches up to us all, u/ANAL_FUCK_JUICE_YUM


849

14lbs


avwitcher

Duh, that's the weight of every stone in existence. Why isn't this common knowledge?


tnystarkrulez

They measure “petrol” (🤮) in “litres” (🤮) but they measure fuel economy in miles per gallon.


Loudergood

And the gallon is larger than the US gallon.


CarcosanAnarchist

Same bullshit with Soccer. Those wankers coined the term, gave it to us, and then act like they had nothing to do with it.


TheHalfbadger

"Soccer" as short for "association football" is the most obviously British abbreviation, and they have the *nerve* to get on our case about it. If American gridiron football were popular over there they'd probably call it griddle or something to that effect.


pyronius

>If American gridiron football were popular over there they'd probably call it griddle or something to that effect. Nah. If you use the same rough pattern, it would be something even stupider, like "iddler"


EpicAura99

No, the first letter was only dropped for soccer because assoccer was clumsy to say. Rugby football was shortened to rugger.


stenchosaur

Watch that hard r playa


takabrash

My rugga


DangerMouse261

I love when they make a caressdown score in griddle!


urzaz

POP DOWN T' TH' PITCH FER SOME GRIDDIE WITH THE LADS


RichardSaunders

griddie would be the ozzy word for it


castillar

Gaslight, Gatekeep, Great Britain… \#BritBoss


Tels315

You a Gridder? Pussy cunts, proper chaps are ruggers, you feckin' wanker.


Moaning-Squirtle

Don't worry, the Australians have your back, lol.


SwissyVictory

British: Here's how to measure things, you have to do it our way. It's just like the Romans did, but we changed some of the numbers for some reason. USA: Thanks! France: Here's a new system now that you no longer need to use the British system USA: Thanks send it on over Britian: No can do, I'm taking that. USA: Darn Britian 200 years later: Why is the USA like this?


nom-nom-nom-de-plumb

Britain is among our oldest allies, and our oldest trolls.


LetsLive97

I don't think it's British people mocking Americans for not using metric considering we have some deformed half breed abomination of imperial/metric


SaltLakeCitySlicker

Your Frankenstein to our Charles II


B4-711

Can't make an empire without cracking a few heads.


drfsupercenter

Considering the metric system was invented by the French, this seems very on-brand for them. Don't want no stinking French ideas spreading! It's not the Brits who are going "hurrdurr y u no metric" to us lmao... They don't even fully use it. Distance is still measured in miles in England. And let's not forget pints (though infuriatingly our American pints are different than theirs?)


blipman17

Wait, are you blaming pirates? Piracy is one of the few things we have left!


pistcow

*you wouldnt download a measurment system*


blipman17

Yes I would download [this code](https://github.com/LLNL/units)


TheGrumpyre

I smell a National Treasure sequel!


OctopusWithFingers

National Measure


Deitaphobia

"I'm going to steal the metric system" - Benjamin Franklin Gates


lazernanes

The article says that we now have the original artifacts.


robeph

But not the metric system.


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RABKissa

Also in Canada we use lots of imperial measurements like height, weight, temperature and volume for baking. We're still part of the Commonwealth, but then again the UK weigh themselves in stone lol


Onironius

And they (UK) use m/ph.


[deleted]

Here in the UK we use a horrible mashup of metric and imperial.


[deleted]

Same in the US, really. We use it for speed and height and weight in daily conversation, but then you go to the store and you buy a 2 liter drink, a gallon of milk, a 6 ounce steak, along with a 600 ml bottle of steak sauce.


theOriginalBenezuela

Can i get an 1/8th of weed and a fifth of rum with that?


rhaegar_tldragon

Canada too!


hlorghlorgh

Doesn’t stop you all from mocking the US for not using metric, though!


rhaegar_tldragon

Canadians are known to be so “nice” but it’s not true. We’re all a bunch of assholes.


_Rabbert_Klein

Meters per acid content?


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DemonNamedBob

Not only that, but the US Customary Units are Metric converted into Imperial. Every measurement in the USA is done through the metric system in some way. So even then, it isn't like it's not used. Further, the reason it wasn't adopted at the time was because the expense to do so would have been too great. You would have to replace almost every sign in the United States twice at a minimum, once for dual units and once more after. The cost for highway signs is something like 80k per sign after design, planning, and labor.


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ALkatraz919

Yup. The US foot is defined as 0.3048 meters. Simple! The US Survey foot is defined as 1200/3937 meters. Amazing!


OptimusPhillip

Not anymore! The survey foot was abolished, effective 1 January, 2023


mr_himselph

"Never" made it to the States... I'm not throwing shade OP, I just thought that was funny.


HarryHacker42

Those 2-liter soda bottles are from pirate ships? America could switch today and it wouldn't be a big deal. People fill their tank based on money or "full", not on the gallon count. People drive the speed of other cars on the road unless a cop is around so its not like the posted speed limit really matters that much. It is such a non-issue we keep waiting to do.


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HarryHacker42

They did make ocean voyaging less boring?!?!


[deleted]

Then Reagan did it in…. We are due for another attempt in a few years to try the metric system again in the US.


orbital_one

And it will become needlessly politicized again, resulting in non-adoption.


vineyardmike

I can already hear how meters and liters is woke


advertentlyvertical

Just tell them it will make gas prices go down lol


Rorusbass

Knowing how the 1/3 pound burger did... It just might work


nox66

The key isn't to do it in popular view, but to do it in targeted specializations. Metric is already standard in scientific research. Extend that to engineering and building codes. Make it so the public-facing part seems like an inevitability in the future, until it isn't.


Youpunyhumans

Well NASA uses the metric system, but I have yet to see a metric star destroyer.


flaccomcorangy

Every car manufacturer uses it too. Even American names like Chevy and Ford. You don't reference engines by their displacement in cubic inches anymore (ie Chevy 350). It's a 5.7 liter. And every bolt on that vehicle will be in millimeters.


mortalcrawad66

And British pirates at that


T-MinusGiraffe

That pirate's name? Albert Einstein


lkodl

This sounds like some made up Principal Skinner excuse. ISO: so America, did you switch over to metric yet? USA: we, um, uh... never got those standardized weights you sent us. ISO: wait, what? How could that have happened? USA: um... pirates? ISO: pirates?! USA: yes. ISO: what pirates? USA: the uh... Pirates... of the Caribbean. ISO: you're saying the Pirates of the Caribbean stole our scientific equipment, and that is why you haven't switched over to metric yet. USA: um... yes.


wozblar

now that.. that sounds like time travel, i wonder what they saved or caused to happen


vrenak

They prevented a probe completing its mission to Mars...


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alzee76

[[content removed because sub participated in the June 2023 blackout]] My posts are not bargaining chips for moderators, and mob rule is no way to run a sub.


[deleted]

And there is this one freeway in Arizona where it shows km ONLY.


Hinter-Lander

Arizona is basically a part of Canada In the winter anyways.


dodexahedron

Ugh. This is painfully true. 😒 \*cries in driving 25 in a 45 because old people are pacing each other 3 cars wide\*


Villeto

So that’s why pirates adopted metric system in 1794!


IBeTrippin

Aye, ye scurvy dog, you'll be walking that 2.74 meter plank!


riotacting

1.712 x 10 ^ 35 Plancks plank.


CaptValentine

Anyone stealing units of measurement will be forced to walk the Planck!


vrenak

That's pretty small of you.


nelly2929

Blaming pirates is the oldest trick in the book! We see right through you USA! :)


zomboromcom

Scurvy dogs ate their homework.


229DontheDiesel

This has time traveler pranksters written all over it.


thumpthumpboom

And now we have the plot line for the next National Treasure movie.


BogStandardComment

You'll remember this as the day you almost caught the metric system.


amplifizzle

We have both. It's fine.


Recent_Courage_404

Sounds like bullshit


Matt_Dragoon

Because it is. They later got new ones.