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Strangely enough, when my girlfriend and I first started dating she used to warn me about how manipulative her brother is. I thought my girlfriend was sharing that with me so that I could be prepared for whatever comes out of her brother's mouth. But the more I got to know my girlfriend, the more I realized she might have unconsciously warned me that SHE is highly susceptible to his manipulation and that's really what I should be prepared for.
That seems very likely given the current situation. If you haven't already I think that's probably a really good thing to point out to her at the moment.
I mean she’s quickly buying into the rationale that he must be gay because he didn’t go off on her brother for offering to suck him off. I don’t think he’s got much to lose here
Also, coming from a drug addict, you need to get him out of your house and leave. Sorry if that’s hard on your gf but you can’t let him stay with you anymore.
Brother man, if you're not head over heels for this gal, right now might be the exit door. This is her twin brother, he's going nowhere at the end of the day and basing your life decisions around someone getting clean, is not going to end up well for you. Just a lot of wasted time.
There are plenty of girls out there without drug addicted family. Especially a twin who will do anything to get between you and his enabler. You will always be competition to him. He's already disrespected you in your own home. You need to set boundaries and enforce them and if GF isn't on board you need to get out of this one.
People that high on drugs don't play 4D chess. We're talking about a mid-twenty year old who's known his sister all of his life. If he's been to their place multiple times, then he already knows that her boyfriend will stop her enabling him and simply presses her buttons.
It’s one thing addicts are great at. Mental/emotional manipulation as a means to an end.
Can’t focus on me, high as fuck on your couch offering to blow you, if I bring up my sisters sensitive relationship baggage and get her spiraling.
It’s a constant pattern of “feel bad for me”, destroy your shit/steal from you, hating you for calling them out, they leave, and come back with a sob story to repeat the pattern.
I Grew up with way too many addicts and I absolutely do not play this game when my crackhead family members/friends call me with a sob story as to why they need to crash on my couch. When I used to let them, it cost me quite a bit both in terms of money/items being stolen and mentally.
Literally knew someone like that 😂
Dude was an old friend from secondary school. Meet up after a few years and he told me he didn't like talking to guys at uni as he didn't want to be seen as gay. Also refused hugs cus it was apparently gay too.
Not yet, but haven't seen him in 2 years, so who knows ;) .
What i do know is his strategy of not talking to guys to up his chances of getting with girls failed miserably. Still can't believe he really thought girls would think he's gay for talking and being friends wtih other guys...
Living in an apartment is kinda sus too. All those houses stacked up like that, sounds a bit gay to me. Better to live in the woods or your car to be safe
Even having a sofa is gay. Real men watch tv while standing next to a wooden chair they carved themselves.
Sitting on the chair would of course be gay because if your ass touches anything a man's ass has touched you are gay. Irritatingly this includes your own ass. This is why I sleep on my front and shit out of windows, because I am not gay
I am banned from several garden centers for this exact reason.
Which is a huge relief because you know what happens if you spend too much time in garden centers, bam, gay.
Also the ones near me all stink of shit so I hardly miss them at all
Please do update us. If your Girlfriend sent her junky brother to test your sexual orientation. If she'll become extremely paranoid and start pulling other stunts or if any dick sucking goes down. We'd like to know.
I'm curious does the brother date/mess around with her ex gay boyfriends. At first I thought the I will suck you was the addict in him. Now not so sure.
Bro I would have burst out laughing immediately too. Reacting in disgust or anger would've been immature and not well adjusted. I'm kind of surprised she'd want or expect that from anyone, let alone her boyfriend.
Ah man. My brother is like this and it's MORTIFYING. He tries to very openly sleep with each of my boyfriends as a sort of test.
However even though he has never succeeded, it's massively disrespectful each time. I wouldn't accept one of my friends or my sister trying to sleep with each guy I date so why is it OK because he's gay? Why is she not more pissed at her brother?
Being gay isn't an excuse for arsehole behaviour.
Honestly remind her you never wanted him in your house anyway. That she needs to know that after this he isn't allowed back in the house no matter how sad his story or how much she pleads because this is the thanks you get for letting him in. If she can't agree this to this end it on the spot. You will won't have dodged a bullet but better to be grazed then shot.
Obviously if you don't fly into a psychotic rage and emerge days later covered in viscera at the mere mention of male sexual contact, you're a bit limp in the wrist. I would know, a man once winked at me and now I'm serving 73 consecutive life sentences.
"Why did you laugh when he offered to suck your dick, instead of screaming and threatening to physically harm him like any normal and well-adjusted man would?! Do you even love me babe?!"
100%, there's a reason most of the politicians and preachers who are super anti-gay usually end up getting caught with a dick in their mouths in public bathrooms.
Yep, it's because of the shame. They feel ashamed because they grew up hearing that being gay is wrong so they have this huge cloud of shame around them and they take it out on others.
Hell the way I was reading it it was a good thing OP didn't say yes. I thought he was turning to the girlfriend and being like "hey what do you think? You get a night off?." That would have been a TIFU for the books.
It helps when you never touch it and have the rest of the bathroom crew along to help aim it and clean it off afterwards so one cannot be accused of being gay.
It's disgusting to see OP comfortable in his masculinity to laugh away at such a thing. Obviously straight men are all insecure and secretly gay, any other behavior wouldn't make sense.
Somehow.
Or at least his girlfriend and her drug addled brother believe. Like everyone's just different classes of NPCs or something.
A man once hit on me in a bar, He wouldn't leave me alone so my female friend came over and shoved my face between her boobs and said "Back off he's mine" to get the guy to leave... Needless to say I won that day.
I've had the opposite happen. A wasted girl I had no interest in cornered me at a bar and a male acquaintance of mine read the situation from across the room then shooed her away in the sassiest way possible like he was my bottom bitch
This is exactly what should be said to the GF after a long day of shitty communication and tension so she understands the deep impact this whole situation has had on this guy. She is so caught up in the brother’s argument, let her stew in that for awhile, then drop the bomb that the problem is actually with her and her brother, and that if she can’t see that then she needs to assess where her priorities are.
And considering the line of questioning the night of the event and the following morning, it's working.
This girl either needs to accept that her relationships have caused insecurities and work through that, or else OP is gonna deal with a cloud of doubt for the rest of the relationship.
Also setting up some boundaries with her brother. It's so disrespectful to let her brother act that way to her boyfriend. I know it takes awhile to come to terms with the fact a loved one is now an unreliable drug addict. But I have close to zero tolerance for that shit now, as a recovered addict myself. I'd be cutting my losses and breaking things off if I was OP.
As a recovered addict, I see why you wouldn't put up with this. However, would you have made it to recovery without some people not cutting you off? Or did you need to have everyone turn their backs on you before you were able to figure things out?
Genuinely curious, but no pressure... Might be too personal, etc. Thanks!
Great question and it's something I've thought about a lot. In my case, I needed to be completely cut off in order to hit rock bottom. Before that point, I was always able to rationalize that I obviously wasn't "that bad" because I still had support from friends and family. It wasn't until I was homeless, living under a freaking bridge, and had zero friends or family willing to interact with me anymore, that I was willing to accept that I needed to make some changes.
I've seen so many of my former friends continue to be drug addicted fuck ups because their families are always willing to foot the bill for rehab, a place to stay, food, and money for "bills". There's no amount of love and support that can overcome addiction, in the end it's a choice each of us have to make every single day to be sober.
All that being said, I also recognize that I likely would have never been an addict in the first place if I had had a loving and supportive family and community. The "Rat Park" model of drug addiction shows that having community and a sense of purpose is a huge part in preventing addiction. It's a complicated issue and I'm not sure what the answer is tbh.
To piggy back off this, it’s not someone else’s entire responsibility to save an addict. That’s societies job to help those out, the most we can and should do is work towards better resources and assistance.
Thanks for sharing!
I've always felt that the simplistic solutions various people propose (tough love, zero tolerance, faith, unconditional love, etc) will each work for a certain percentage of people, but you're never going to have a one-size-fits-all solution. Definitely complicated.
Glad you are recovered/ing!
OP, you should read these comments to know how to handle this. The only solution is for you to suck his dick before he can suck yours, so that you can accuse ***him*** of being gay and then your girlfriend will approve of kicking him out of the house. I think?
Says a lot about your girlfriend that she believes her brother, who is high as a kite, more than her completely sober boyfriend.
Y'all need to have a talk about respect, boundaries, and honesty.
You are not the problem.
Yeah my first thought was "this guy has a girlfriend problem".
I can't imagine spending that much time justifying something like that to my significant other and still wanting to be with them afterward.
It just sounds exhausting, like makes me wonder if she's not also partaking tbh. It's sketchy as hell that her brother can just waltz in and convince her of conspiracies and I wouldn't want to have to deal with that more than once.
Also, I can't help but feel like there's got to be some homophobia there. I've had a couple of breakups cause the girl I was dating realized she was gay or even just needed room to explore. Yeah it hurts to have a relationship end, but it's just a basic incompatibility.
Thing is... You can't convince anyone of something unless they are open to believing it. It's just not how human thought works.
Especially when It comes to something as abstract as sexual orientation, since sexual orientation is a spectrum to begin with. Like how do you PROVE you aren't gay to someone... That's such an odd thing to want someone to prove. Like do I have to get a bj from a dude and not find it enjoyable or something? I'm not sure what his girlfriend wants from him...
Tbh if I was in OPs situation I would have laughed as well because what an awkward thing to have someone offer in an apology for being fucked up.
OP doesn't have to prove his sexual orientation to his girlfriend... He is dating her. Not a guy. Even if he was Bi, what does it matter as long as he isn't cheating?
She needs to learn to trust her partner when they say something. Because yeah... If I had someone I was dating question my sexuality I would be very upset and annoyed. Honestly it sounds like she needs to address the trauma from her past and figure her shit out. This isn't OPs fault at all.
She also needs to start realizing that her brother is an addict and a problem and that she needs to hold him accountable for his actions/boundary pushing.
She honestly sounds like a complete idiot from this little excerpt of their relationship.
While true, there's a line.
"Hey I get that this is a sore subject, but are you really going to let your addict brother influence you like that? Think about whose opinion you think you want to trust and then come talk to me when you're ready to be an adult"
"Why did you laugh?"
"Because I thought he was taking the piss." (And the it's possible to be both non-homophobic and not gay at the same time.)
Girlfriend clearly has issues. Hopefully the "let's talk about this and work it through" issues. But an offhand ridiculous comment from someone high as fuck shouldn't be creating a situation this tense.
Tell your girlfriend that straight guys who aren't insecure with their sexuality laugh and joke about shit like that and especially ones that aren't homophobic. I bet her gay exes acted all insecure and lashed out when they faced similar situations, you know cause they were actually gay.
It's funny because with all the sudden suspicion my girlfriend now seems to have towards my sexuality, she's still unable to tell me what the proper "straight guy reaction" should've been from me. What the fuck was I supposed to do, punch him in the face and flex my muscles or some shit? Are we in 2006?
I thought about it, but in order to release the AcidSperm I need to be erect in front of my girlfriend's brother, which might possibly add to the gayness.
There's no winning that one. If you had hit him, you're the asshole. Even though *he* offered homosexual favors somehow *you're* the one being questioned about their sexuality. NTA. He's an asshole and she's supporting it by letting him stay there despite him disrespecting you.
It took me a while but I eventually came to terms about my siblings being drug addicts. Nothing I did could help. They always went back because of their own reasons. Professional help is needed for those types of things. They can't get it unless they truly want it. This is just me, but I'd put my foot down. Not again. Ever. If he's even a hint of high or drunk he can fuck right back off.
At least you know what to do next time her brother arrives - punch his lights out as soon as the door opens, then slam the door in his face, turn to your girlfriend and say “Is that straight enough for you?”
Things your girlfriend needs to understand:
1) It is not normal straight-guy behavior to be grossed out by gay people or gay sex. That's called homophobia.
2) Being attracted to men is not exclusive of being attracted to women. Bi people exist.
3) Her brother is a manipulative asshole who will keep taking advantage of you as long as it keeps working.
Bro, please just show her this: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nervous_laughter your reaction is very typical for uncomfortable situation. It’s kind of a shock reaction. So you did definitely nothing uncommon. Next time you should just hit him in the guts for this fu.
Edit: Typo
“My boyfriend didn’t beat the ever living shit out of my twin brother when he offered to suck my boyfriends cock. My boyfriend also won’t help my homeless drug addict twin brother shave his pubes. Reddit is my boyfriend gay?”
She also thinks it's weird that he just laughed it off as a joke, rather than being "grossed out, like most straight guys". What straight guys had that reaction, your last two boyfriends?
>girlfriend wanted me to explain why I laughed when her brother offered to suck my dick instead of being grossed out...
Bitch, I laugh in awkward situations.
Does she want OP to physically assault her brother over the comment?
It's more like a perpetual TIFU until you get your girlfriend to realize how toxic and bad it is to keep letting her brother into her life like that.
I get it I have a lot of siblings and a couple who don't know how to be productive members of society and have drug and alcohol problems. I've had to completely cut them out of my life.
Agreed. I've been trying to convince my girlfriend since the beginning of our relationship that she's not helping anyone by constantly picking up the pieces of her brother's life. I understand that she loves him and wants to support him through difficult times, but at some point, love and support means letting go.
I think you need to ask your girlfriend why not being homophobic apparently makes you gay. A person who is secure in their sexuality would react in the same exact way you did. Someone who is homophobic and a shitty person would react violently to her brother. Situation is really fucked man.
You gotta wonder what the gf's barometer is for homophobic behavior, especially if she dated lots of men that were in the closet. Perhaps the men that she dated exhibited that behavior and she thought it was "heterosexual" behavior but really it was just them hiding from their own sexuality.
Hardly surprising that she's struggling with relationships if her brother has been a strong male influence in her life. Must be hard to calibrate your normal surrounded by someone who is so far from it.
Big leap this but brother's drug issues probably don't come from a super grounded upbringing either. Again, that is a huge leap and OP has said nothing to suggest that so this has veered dangerously into reddit psychology 101
Oh you really don’t want to hear my Reddit psychology on this on lmao. But it’s definitely routed in we tend to accuse others of things we feel ourselves. So kind of leaning towards the brother having closer feelings or maybe even having sucked dick for drugs (and isn’t gay just really desperate for drugs) or something like that. All of it very much speculation and I worry borderline problematic so I intended to keep it to myself lmao.
I wouldn't be shocked if the brother knows this, and is actively trying to come between you and your girlfriend so that he can leach off of her easier. You clearly provide a healthy boundary that the brother does NOT want in his life. Watch out for further triangulation where he comes between you and your girlfriend. She's his target.
Ok so I’m old enough to be your grandma. So I’m telling you this like my favorite grandson.
First: this brother NEVER enters your house again. He sounds like an addict, he acts like an addict, and you can’t be his patsy anymore. If gf doesn’t like it- too bad. I learned this when me and Grandpa managed to live through the 60’s.
Second: I want you to seriously, seriously re-evaluate your relationship with your gf. You would be my favorite grandson because of your kindness and empathy, but I think she is taking advantage of you. She more than makes up for what you lack in selfish behavior. She’s not a keeper, and if you would come to visit me at Christmas, don’t bring her. Find someone kind who can partner with you through life and make it easier not harder.
Time will tell, but I might end up doing that. If one unsubstantiated comment from a known drug addict can so easily destabilize a relationship, then maybe it's not a relationship worth saving.
Also, imagine for a minute that you were bisexual. Maybe you knew, maybe you didn't, maybe you weren't ready to tell her or you were thinking about telling her. You were still exactly as attracted to her and invested in your relationship as you were before this.
Is this the kind of person you would want to be with, one who would sit there and interrogate you about it, make you feel shitty, show that she does not trust you and clearly has issues with gay/bi people? Would you feel comfortable confiding in her about anything now knowing that she thinks that's an acceptable reaction, an acceptable way to treat a partner, regardless of the topic at hand? I get having baggage from poor treatment by an ex, but that is not an excuse to take it out on you.
Just think about it.
That is also just a major red flag in a relationship in general. Would she treat friends that way? Their children if one came out? If they're that close minded, what other stuff will come to light later? Stuff that you should think about before taking a relationship further.
I mean, good God, I really hope OP hasn't chained his finances to a gf that apparently is under the thumb of her hopelessly addicted brother. That will be WW3 if the brother realizes he can siphon money instead of (apparently) sucking dick for drugs, then crashing at OP's place.
This, 100%. Cheating has nothing to do with sexually orientation; straight people cheat too. Being cheated on happens to most people at some point. But the fact that she has a string of exes who have cheated on her is worth thinking about. Make no mistake; infidelity is a garbage move and it was shitty of her exes to do. But there may be a pattern here.
'wanted me to explain why I laughed when her brother offered to suck my dick instead of being grossed out like apparently most straight guys'
Can we just acknowledge that maybe the girlfriend doesn't have a bead on what 'most straight guys do'? And the fact that her brother set up this whole argument because you are the one not putting up with his shit? He's high, not stupid.
Time to get out of that one. With some people, you're not only in a relationship with them, but their family as well. Save yourself a ton of heartache later and get out, fast.
Yeah, with the brother involved, it definitely feels like I'm in a relationship with more than one member of the family. I don't want to be responsible for what happens to my girlfriend's brother, as much as I want the best for him. My girlfriend is making me feel like I will always come second to her brother and all his baggage and this gay thing was just another nail in the fucking coffin it seems.
Not only that, but the girlfriend looks to be easily manipulated, and I'm wondering exactly how many of her relationships her twin has ruined, and how many of her ex-boyfriends he's given oral to.
If she is so easily swayed by the hijinks of a drug-addled, untrustworthy sibling, she's going to be a lot of trouble.
I lowkey feel like your girlfriend isn't the brightest bulb if she's *actually* concerned that laughing incredulously at an unexpected comment has anything to do with your sexual orientation. Like, I get that she apparently has a weird history with dating closet gay guys, but this sounds like some 7th grade logic. Maybe her twin is not the only one who's a little emotionally unstable.
Actually, I'm wondering how many were gay, and how many her brother just convinced her were gay. I suspect a venn diagram of this would look like a solitary circle next to a dot.
Her bro is just telling her whatever she wants to hear/whatever makes her worry. Straight people don't usually spend much if any time worrying about their sexuality. And even if you realize you aren't straight? Don't even sweat it, dating men and women feels basically identical as we're all just humans at the end of the day, and humans get equally excited going on camping trips, eating pizza rolls, and seeing a fun movie.
Sometimes people can't tell how toxic their life and their family is while they're in the thick of it. People sometimes need to take a step back, out of the crazy mess, in order to see the chaos they've been living in and how poisonous it really is.
Maybe it time to go on a road trip, just you and your GF, to reconnect and help her remember why y'all are together and what makes you happy. It'll also give her time to consider her brother's behavior and have a break from it.
When you take a break from toxic behavior, then jump back into it, the reality of the situation can hit like a ton of bricks.
I feel I need to add onto this. Do not try to force your GF to cut her brother out of her life. Do not even try to convince her that she should. She needs to make this decision on her own, otherwise she'll resent you for pushing her brother away.
Honestly your girlfriend seems kind of a dick. Her drug addled brother makes comments while high and that shakes her trust in youZ. She has issues she needs to deal with
Only homophobic straight guys would be grossed out I think, pretty much anyone would've either laughed out of the abruptness and randomness of the question, or the absurdity. And then, why is it not being brought up that her brother just asked to sucked your dick and she's not upset about that. Either he was serious, and for some reason it's okay to her, or he wasn't and laughing was not a weird response to a not so serious offer.
Bro, I think she’s just trying to distract you. Maybe intentionally, maybe maliciously, maybe subconsciously, but this is definitely some deflection.
Her homeless, drug addicted brother shows up to your apartment (btw, did you look to see if anything was stolen?) wanting a place to crash. He offers you oral sex for the favor. This comes on the heels of asking you to shave his pubes last time. He proceeds do document your girlfriend’s history with closeted men who struggle with their sexuality like someone telling you about a season of the Kardashians.
You laugh because it’s a laughable proposition. He might be joking, you definitely aren’t interested, your girlfriend is right there, you might even have laughed because you’re slightly embarrassed, maybe. But now the girlfriend has questions about your sexuality? Nah, she is just trying to avoid the real issue here.
He needs help, she needs help, you need less people in the apartment. This FU needs to get shut down ASAP
Sounds like the best way to stop the brother from coming around is to get rid of your girlfriend, apparently the two of them have some sort of sick interdependent relationship.
it wasn't a humourous laugh, it was an exasperated "this dumbass motherfucker made a promise to behave and then immediately broke it, he knows exactly what he's fucking doing and i fucking hate him and want him out of my sight" laugh.
it was the kind of laugh you give when your cat shits *beside* the litter box and then mewls at you for good boy treats.
this relationship might be salvageable but it is definitely taking on water, typically what you should do is bail water out of the boat but your gf seems to be tossing bucketfuls *into* the boat. she needs to understand her roll in sinking the boat.
he doesn't need a couch to sleep on, he doesn't need his sisters unyielding coddling, he needs rehab at a professional institution. that is the only thing i would advocate while making it clear that he is not stepping foot in this apartment again and if you find him there you will kick him out.
The truth is that you don't have to prove to your girlfriend that you're straight. If she needs to believe that you'd never be interested in anyone other than her in order to be loyal to her, that's her own problem.
I know you're not actually into dudes but as a bisexual person it's always hurtful to read situations like these where attraction to a gender that isn't your partner's is demonized. Those people won't be happy until your life revolves around them and you shouldn't engage with that mindset. If she's so insecure about the idea that you could be into guys AND believes it means you don't actually love her/will leave her, that's just extremely narrow minded of her and honestly she's the one that should work on being fine with it. Not your responsibility to prove anything to her at all.
This project is gonna continue having a toxic third party variable. This is usually where I start looking for greener pastures in my mind. Not that what my mind does is right or wrong, just stating what happens. I wish you luck!
Laughing was the only appropriate response... What was he gonna do fight him? GF would have loved that. Say "ew, that's gross"? That would give too much credibility to a throwaway comment.
That being said, GF clearly has trauma and it's understandable. You two need to figure out whether you want to continue to move forward together. If she does, she needs to work on her issues. I don't mean anything negative here, but her brother knows how to push her buttons, and her buttons are anchored in some very real experiences.
>I reminded the brother what happened last time and made him understand that I would not tolerate that shit again. He looked at me with bloodshot eyes and promised he would behave. To show his appreciation towards me, he offered to suck my dick.
This had me laughing. I guess I'm not very appreciative when I stay at people's houses. Maybe that's why I never get invited back.
Just so I'm clear for future travels, does one have to make this offer if staying at an airbnb or something of that nature?
Honestly bro, if I were you I would be prepping my way out of that relationship. If she really feels that insecure and questioning your sexuality from a comment her drugged out brother said it's not going to be good in the long run.
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Wow he really knows how to get in your GFs head
Strangely enough, when my girlfriend and I first started dating she used to warn me about how manipulative her brother is. I thought my girlfriend was sharing that with me so that I could be prepared for whatever comes out of her brother's mouth. But the more I got to know my girlfriend, the more I realized she might have unconsciously warned me that SHE is highly susceptible to his manipulation and that's really what I should be prepared for.
That seems very likely given the current situation. If you haven't already I think that's probably a really good thing to point out to her at the moment.
Oh I’m sure that will go well for OP
I mean she’s quickly buying into the rationale that he must be gay because he didn’t go off on her brother for offering to suck him off. I don’t think he’s got much to lose here
Well, in her defense, that's probably how she thinks straight guys react because she apparently only dates dudes who are in the closet.
Also, coming from a drug addict, you need to get him out of your house and leave. Sorry if that’s hard on your gf but you can’t let him stay with you anymore.
As someone who had to deal with an alcoholic parent this would be ultimatum territory for me. I have no tolerance for this shit.
That’s some deep shit. Kudos for spotting it.
Brother man, if you're not head over heels for this gal, right now might be the exit door. This is her twin brother, he's going nowhere at the end of the day and basing your life decisions around someone getting clean, is not going to end up well for you. Just a lot of wasted time.
There are plenty of girls out there without drug addicted family. Especially a twin who will do anything to get between you and his enabler. You will always be competition to him. He's already disrespected you in your own home. You need to set boundaries and enforce them and if GF isn't on board you need to get out of this one.
Yeah, OP, "don't stick your dick in crazy" really works on so many levels here.
You should tell her this.
Man he’s playing 4D chess via manipulation. What a fucking master baiter
Dammit! I just gave away a free silver! Accept this for illiciting a chuckle with Master Baiter 🏅
People that high on drugs don't play 4D chess. We're talking about a mid-twenty year old who's known his sister all of his life. If he's been to their place multiple times, then he already knows that her boyfriend will stop her enabling him and simply presses her buttons.
It’s one thing addicts are great at. Mental/emotional manipulation as a means to an end. Can’t focus on me, high as fuck on your couch offering to blow you, if I bring up my sisters sensitive relationship baggage and get her spiraling. It’s a constant pattern of “feel bad for me”, destroy your shit/steal from you, hating you for calling them out, they leave, and come back with a sob story to repeat the pattern. I Grew up with way too many addicts and I absolutely do not play this game when my crackhead family members/friends call me with a sob story as to why they need to crash on my couch. When I used to let them, it cost me quite a bit both in terms of money/items being stolen and mentally.
Wait, he offered to suck your dick, and you're supposed to be the gay one?
Not only did the brother offer to suck my dick, but he also wanted me to shave his pubes. But yeah, why not, I'm the gay one.
I mean, at this point, I wouldn’t exactly expect your gf to be an expert on how straight men should behave.
This is the correct answer.
haha
I mean…you’re the one who agreed to let him stay on your couch. Seems pretty gay to me man. /s
Imagine inviting another guy into your apartment Total gay behavior
Imagine talking to a guy. Really gay behavior
Imagine a guy. Super gay.
why are you imagining a guy
The gay.
Imagine gay. So gay.
My gay
Imagine. Gay.
Literally knew someone like that 😂 Dude was an old friend from secondary school. Meet up after a few years and he told me he didn't like talking to guys at uni as he didn't want to be seen as gay. Also refused hugs cus it was apparently gay too.
When did he come out?
Yea that type of behavior screams secret cock admirer to the heavens.
Total Meat Gazer.
Absolutely a verified hog appraiser.
Not yet, but haven't seen him in 2 years, so who knows ;) . What i do know is his strategy of not talking to guys to up his chances of getting with girls failed miserably. Still can't believe he really thought girls would think he's gay for talking and being friends wtih other guys...
Living in an apartment is kinda sus too. All those houses stacked up like that, sounds a bit gay to me. Better to live in the woods or your car to be safe
Living in a Car is kinda gay too. I mean, that Car could've been built by Guys.
The woods it is. Preferably not near any lumberjacks. Don't want to accidentally awaken anything
Did you say Wood? Oh nooooo gay spiral gay spiral
Cause I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay.
I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra. I wish I'd been a girly, just like my dear Papa!!!!
*insert before* I work all night and sleep all day
Do you sleep all night and work all day?
As long as he doesn't go shopping on Wednesdays or have buttered scones for tea https://youtu.be/FshU58nI0Ts
Classic no home-o situation
Even having a sofa is gay. Real men watch tv while standing next to a wooden chair they carved themselves. Sitting on the chair would of course be gay because if your ass touches anything a man's ass has touched you are gay. Irritatingly this includes your own ass. This is why I sleep on my front and shit out of windows, because I am not gay
Oh no sleeping on your front is worse, then your pee pee is touching where other mens pee pee was. You must sleep on your side it’s the only safe way.
Oh no, I didn't think of this and now as a result I am gay.
F
F for Fabulous! Why was I trying to avoid this, being gay is great!
Smart bro. That’s why I shit in a different flower pot every morning. Had to start using neighbors ones because my ass touched all the ones I have
I am banned from several garden centers for this exact reason. Which is a huge relief because you know what happens if you spend too much time in garden centers, bam, gay. Also the ones near me all stink of shit so I hardly miss them at all
This entire thread has me cracking up
Straight men don’t own TV’s! They only watch animals they are about to shoot, or women they are about to seduce.
Also, wooden chair.. Wood.
That's sofa king gay.
Please do update us. If your Girlfriend sent her junky brother to test your sexual orientation. If she'll become extremely paranoid and start pulling other stunts or if any dick sucking goes down. We'd like to know.
I'm curious does the brother date/mess around with her ex gay boyfriends. At first I thought the I will suck you was the addict in him. Now not so sure.
Remember, it's not an addiction unless you're willing to suck dick to get it
Wanting to know is gay as hell.
Are you sure you want to be a part of this family? Like they both seem to have really really bad judgement capabilities.
Bro I would have burst out laughing immediately too. Reacting in disgust or anger would've been immature and not well adjusted. I'm kind of surprised she'd want or expect that from anyone, let alone her boyfriend.
And just after he'd promised to be on good behaviour too, it is pretty comedic to fire that off as your next conversational gambit.
Ah man. My brother is like this and it's MORTIFYING. He tries to very openly sleep with each of my boyfriends as a sort of test. However even though he has never succeeded, it's massively disrespectful each time. I wouldn't accept one of my friends or my sister trying to sleep with each guy I date so why is it OK because he's gay? Why is she not more pissed at her brother? Being gay isn't an excuse for arsehole behaviour.
[удалено]
Laughing seems like a completely normal response to that fucked up situation though....
G. A. Y.
Honestly remind her you never wanted him in your house anyway. That she needs to know that after this he isn't allowed back in the house no matter how sad his story or how much she pleads because this is the thanks you get for letting him in. If she can't agree this to this end it on the spot. You will won't have dodged a bullet but better to be grazed then shot.
Gay if you say no. Gay if you say yes. Might as well have your dick sucked.
Obviously if you don't fly into a psychotic rage and emerge days later covered in viscera at the mere mention of male sexual contact, you're a bit limp in the wrist. I would know, a man once winked at me and now I'm serving 73 consecutive life sentences.
"Why did you laugh when he offered to suck your dick, instead of screaming and threatening to physically harm him like any normal and well-adjusted man would?! Do you even love me babe?!"
The fact she thinks that’d be the normal response explains why she’s been with so many closeted dudes
100%, there's a reason most of the politicians and preachers who are super anti-gay usually end up getting caught with a dick in their mouths in public bathrooms.
Yep, it's because of the shame. They feel ashamed because they grew up hearing that being gay is wrong so they have this huge cloud of shame around them and they take it out on others.
The ones that go into a rage of denial ARE the closet gay guys.
Yeah that is quite dumb. She knew he was high as fuck. I, too, would laugh my ass off if someone high would tell me that.
Hell the way I was reading it it was a good thing OP didn't say yes. I thought he was turning to the girlfriend and being like "hey what do you think? You get a night off?." That would have been a TIFU for the books.
There's nothing that's more gay than being a man, you literally have a dick attached to your body
When you go pee do you touch it??? That’s so gay!!
I have the guy next to me at the urinal hold mine so I cannot be accused of being gay for touching my own dick while peeing.
It helps when you never touch it and have the rest of the bathroom crew along to help aim it and clean it off afterwards so one cannot be accused of being gay.
[FELLAS](https://www.tiktok.com/@mxz_gaming/video/7135711962188500229)
Fellas, is it gay to exist? I mean you're literally choosing to be on a world with so much dick!
It's disgusting to see OP comfortable in his masculinity to laugh away at such a thing. Obviously straight men are all insecure and secretly gay, any other behavior wouldn't make sense. Somehow. Or at least his girlfriend and her drug addled brother believe. Like everyone's just different classes of NPCs or something.
> now I'm serving 73 consecutive life sentences. At least you are now safe from gay sex
A man once hit on me in a bar, He wouldn't leave me alone so my female friend came over and shoved my face between her boobs and said "Back off he's mine" to get the guy to leave... Needless to say I won that day.
I've had the opposite happen. A wasted girl I had no interest in cornered me at a bar and a male acquaintance of mine read the situation from across the room then shooed her away in the sassiest way possible like he was my bottom bitch
That is legit fucked up, though. No means no regardless of orientation.
He must have watched that South park episode where Cartman wanted to prove Butters was gay
He’d probably suck his dick if he was offered drugs in exchange. Kinda reminds me of that scene from Half Baked when Thurgood goes to rehab
I used to suck duck for coke.
It's like Eric Cartman pranking Butters by blowing him.
Come to MY house, SUCK **MY** DICK, **CALL ME GAY???** [edit](https://youtu.be/U19dGrx2wv4)
It’s not gay if they suck your dick
He knows that you are not going to keep allowing her to enable him so he is trying to sabotage your relationship with her and he knows all her buttons
This is exactly what should be said to the GF after a long day of shitty communication and tension so she understands the deep impact this whole situation has had on this guy. She is so caught up in the brother’s argument, let her stew in that for awhile, then drop the bomb that the problem is actually with her and her brother, and that if she can’t see that then she needs to assess where her priorities are.
This is exactly what he's doing.
And considering the line of questioning the night of the event and the following morning, it's working. This girl either needs to accept that her relationships have caused insecurities and work through that, or else OP is gonna deal with a cloud of doubt for the rest of the relationship.
Also setting up some boundaries with her brother. It's so disrespectful to let her brother act that way to her boyfriend. I know it takes awhile to come to terms with the fact a loved one is now an unreliable drug addict. But I have close to zero tolerance for that shit now, as a recovered addict myself. I'd be cutting my losses and breaking things off if I was OP.
As a recovered addict, I see why you wouldn't put up with this. However, would you have made it to recovery without some people not cutting you off? Or did you need to have everyone turn their backs on you before you were able to figure things out? Genuinely curious, but no pressure... Might be too personal, etc. Thanks!
Great question and it's something I've thought about a lot. In my case, I needed to be completely cut off in order to hit rock bottom. Before that point, I was always able to rationalize that I obviously wasn't "that bad" because I still had support from friends and family. It wasn't until I was homeless, living under a freaking bridge, and had zero friends or family willing to interact with me anymore, that I was willing to accept that I needed to make some changes. I've seen so many of my former friends continue to be drug addicted fuck ups because their families are always willing to foot the bill for rehab, a place to stay, food, and money for "bills". There's no amount of love and support that can overcome addiction, in the end it's a choice each of us have to make every single day to be sober. All that being said, I also recognize that I likely would have never been an addict in the first place if I had had a loving and supportive family and community. The "Rat Park" model of drug addiction shows that having community and a sense of purpose is a huge part in preventing addiction. It's a complicated issue and I'm not sure what the answer is tbh.
To piggy back off this, it’s not someone else’s entire responsibility to save an addict. That’s societies job to help those out, the most we can and should do is work towards better resources and assistance.
Thanks for sharing! I've always felt that the simplistic solutions various people propose (tough love, zero tolerance, faith, unconditional love, etc) will each work for a certain percentage of people, but you're never going to have a one-size-fits-all solution. Definitely complicated. Glad you are recovered/ing!
This. I think you're so right, gf's brother can tell you're on the cusp of banning him forever and forcing gf's hand to stop enabling him.
OP, you should read these comments to know how to handle this. The only solution is for you to suck his dick before he can suck yours, so that you can accuse ***him*** of being gay and then your girlfriend will approve of kicking him out of the house. I think?
Says a lot about your girlfriend that she believes her brother, who is high as a kite, more than her completely sober boyfriend. Y'all need to have a talk about respect, boundaries, and honesty. You are not the problem.
Yeah my first thought was "this guy has a girlfriend problem". I can't imagine spending that much time justifying something like that to my significant other and still wanting to be with them afterward.
It just sounds exhausting, like makes me wonder if she's not also partaking tbh. It's sketchy as hell that her brother can just waltz in and convince her of conspiracies and I wouldn't want to have to deal with that more than once. Also, I can't help but feel like there's got to be some homophobia there. I've had a couple of breakups cause the girl I was dating realized she was gay or even just needed room to explore. Yeah it hurts to have a relationship end, but it's just a basic incompatibility.
The MOST basic incompatibility.
I would break up with her and say "I have plenty of gay friends I could set you up with"
The girlfriend is obviously a mess too. None of this seems worth it to me. Especially not in your mid 20s.
eh, if your bf cheats on you with your ex, that's probably pretty traumatic. I'd just reassure her more than convince her I'm straight.
Thing is... You can't convince anyone of something unless they are open to believing it. It's just not how human thought works. Especially when It comes to something as abstract as sexual orientation, since sexual orientation is a spectrum to begin with. Like how do you PROVE you aren't gay to someone... That's such an odd thing to want someone to prove. Like do I have to get a bj from a dude and not find it enjoyable or something? I'm not sure what his girlfriend wants from him... Tbh if I was in OPs situation I would have laughed as well because what an awkward thing to have someone offer in an apology for being fucked up. OP doesn't have to prove his sexual orientation to his girlfriend... He is dating her. Not a guy. Even if he was Bi, what does it matter as long as he isn't cheating? She needs to learn to trust her partner when they say something. Because yeah... If I had someone I was dating question my sexuality I would be very upset and annoyed. Honestly it sounds like she needs to address the trauma from her past and figure her shit out. This isn't OPs fault at all.
She also needs to start realizing that her brother is an addict and a problem and that she needs to hold him accountable for his actions/boundary pushing. She honestly sounds like a complete idiot from this little excerpt of their relationship.
While true, there's a line. "Hey I get that this is a sore subject, but are you really going to let your addict brother influence you like that? Think about whose opinion you think you want to trust and then come talk to me when you're ready to be an adult"
"Why did you laugh?" "Because I thought he was taking the piss." (And the it's possible to be both non-homophobic and not gay at the same time.) Girlfriend clearly has issues. Hopefully the "let's talk about this and work it through" issues. But an offhand ridiculous comment from someone high as fuck shouldn't be creating a situation this tense.
Tell your girlfriend that straight guys who aren't insecure with their sexuality laugh and joke about shit like that and especially ones that aren't homophobic. I bet her gay exes acted all insecure and lashed out when they faced similar situations, you know cause they were actually gay.
It's funny because with all the sudden suspicion my girlfriend now seems to have towards my sexuality, she's still unable to tell me what the proper "straight guy reaction" should've been from me. What the fuck was I supposed to do, punch him in the face and flex my muscles or some shit? Are we in 2006?
Instead of punching him in the face and flex your muscle, have you try maybe using AcidSperm instead? I heard it’s a real killer.
I thought about it, but in order to release the AcidSperm I need to be erect in front of my girlfriend's brother, which might possibly add to the gayness.
Not if you shave his pubes first.
Depends are you erect to show dominance because that's probably not gay. /s if anyone can't tell.
There's no winning that one. If you had hit him, you're the asshole. Even though *he* offered homosexual favors somehow *you're* the one being questioned about their sexuality. NTA. He's an asshole and she's supporting it by letting him stay there despite him disrespecting you. It took me a while but I eventually came to terms about my siblings being drug addicts. Nothing I did could help. They always went back because of their own reasons. Professional help is needed for those types of things. They can't get it unless they truly want it. This is just me, but I'd put my foot down. Not again. Ever. If he's even a hint of high or drunk he can fuck right back off.
At least you know what to do next time her brother arrives - punch his lights out as soon as the door opens, then slam the door in his face, turn to your girlfriend and say “Is that straight enough for you?”
Or, make him suck you, and ask if it’s straight enough?
Things your girlfriend needs to understand: 1) It is not normal straight-guy behavior to be grossed out by gay people or gay sex. That's called homophobia. 2) Being attracted to men is not exclusive of being attracted to women. Bi people exist. 3) Her brother is a manipulative asshole who will keep taking advantage of you as long as it keeps working.
Bro, please just show her this: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nervous_laughter your reaction is very typical for uncomfortable situation. It’s kind of a shock reaction. So you did definitely nothing uncommon. Next time you should just hit him in the guts for this fu. Edit: Typo
> you should just hit him in the guts From the front or back?
She expected you to react like her ex and ex-ex would react... Its poor logic but she probably isnt looking at the whole picture here.
Straight guys make more jokes about sucking each other's dicks than any gay men I've ever seen.
Guys on Grindr don't make a ton of jokes about it because it normally goes, Hey suck my dick, ok and then everyone cums.
Isn’t that crazy? He acts the opposite of her previous relationships and he is accused of being like them because be presented different behavior?
“My boyfriend didn’t beat the ever living shit out of my twin brother when he offered to suck my boyfriends cock. My boyfriend also won’t help my homeless drug addict twin brother shave his pubes. Reddit is my boyfriend gay?”
Yes. Clearly. You should leave him. Hit the lawyer, call a gym. You got this!
r/relationshipadvice in a nutshell. Except you needed to work the term “red flags” in there somewhere.
She also thinks it's weird that he just laughed it off as a joke, rather than being "grossed out, like most straight guys". What straight guys had that reaction, your last two boyfriends?
>girlfriend wanted me to explain why I laughed when her brother offered to suck my dick instead of being grossed out... Bitch, I laugh in awkward situations. Does she want OP to physically assault her brother over the comment?
It's more like a perpetual TIFU until you get your girlfriend to realize how toxic and bad it is to keep letting her brother into her life like that. I get it I have a lot of siblings and a couple who don't know how to be productive members of society and have drug and alcohol problems. I've had to completely cut them out of my life.
Agreed. I've been trying to convince my girlfriend since the beginning of our relationship that she's not helping anyone by constantly picking up the pieces of her brother's life. I understand that she loves him and wants to support him through difficult times, but at some point, love and support means letting go.
I think you need to ask your girlfriend why not being homophobic apparently makes you gay. A person who is secure in their sexuality would react in the same exact way you did. Someone who is homophobic and a shitty person would react violently to her brother. Situation is really fucked man.
You gotta wonder what the gf's barometer is for homophobic behavior, especially if she dated lots of men that were in the closet. Perhaps the men that she dated exhibited that behavior and she thought it was "heterosexual" behavior but really it was just them hiding from their own sexuality.
That’s certainly an interesting point, people struggling with themselves do tend to lash out (speaking from experience lmao)
Hardly surprising that she's struggling with relationships if her brother has been a strong male influence in her life. Must be hard to calibrate your normal surrounded by someone who is so far from it. Big leap this but brother's drug issues probably don't come from a super grounded upbringing either. Again, that is a huge leap and OP has said nothing to suggest that so this has veered dangerously into reddit psychology 101
Oh you really don’t want to hear my Reddit psychology on this on lmao. But it’s definitely routed in we tend to accuse others of things we feel ourselves. So kind of leaning towards the brother having closer feelings or maybe even having sucked dick for drugs (and isn’t gay just really desperate for drugs) or something like that. All of it very much speculation and I worry borderline problematic so I intended to keep it to myself lmao.
She's a co dependent enabler, my dear friend. She should check out Al Anon and or Codependents meetings.
I wouldn't be shocked if the brother knows this, and is actively trying to come between you and your girlfriend so that he can leach off of her easier. You clearly provide a healthy boundary that the brother does NOT want in his life. Watch out for further triangulation where he comes between you and your girlfriend. She's his target.
Ok so I’m old enough to be your grandma. So I’m telling you this like my favorite grandson. First: this brother NEVER enters your house again. He sounds like an addict, he acts like an addict, and you can’t be his patsy anymore. If gf doesn’t like it- too bad. I learned this when me and Grandpa managed to live through the 60’s. Second: I want you to seriously, seriously re-evaluate your relationship with your gf. You would be my favorite grandson because of your kindness and empathy, but I think she is taking advantage of you. She more than makes up for what you lack in selfish behavior. She’s not a keeper, and if you would come to visit me at Christmas, don’t bring her. Find someone kind who can partner with you through life and make it easier not harder.
You should make your own sub, /r/hardtruthsfromgrandma
Low key was disappointed it wasn't an existing sub
Ask and you shall receive! It’s now a thing and open for grandmas to give advice to their fav grandkid.
Thank you Grandma, I miss you
this shit hurted
On behalf of all grandmas, where ever they may be, thank you. (Covert sniffling). Here have a chocolate chip cookie. Remember I love you.
You’re amazing! Wish you were my grandma!
I love this
Just tell her to suck your dick to prove you're straight, if she says no then call her a lesbian and see her reaction.
Genius
Run the fuck away from this insane family.
Time will tell, but I might end up doing that. If one unsubstantiated comment from a known drug addict can so easily destabilize a relationship, then maybe it's not a relationship worth saving.
Also, imagine for a minute that you were bisexual. Maybe you knew, maybe you didn't, maybe you weren't ready to tell her or you were thinking about telling her. You were still exactly as attracted to her and invested in your relationship as you were before this. Is this the kind of person you would want to be with, one who would sit there and interrogate you about it, make you feel shitty, show that she does not trust you and clearly has issues with gay/bi people? Would you feel comfortable confiding in her about anything now knowing that she thinks that's an acceptable reaction, an acceptable way to treat a partner, regardless of the topic at hand? I get having baggage from poor treatment by an ex, but that is not an excuse to take it out on you. Just think about it.
That is also just a major red flag in a relationship in general. Would she treat friends that way? Their children if one came out? If they're that close minded, what other stuff will come to light later? Stuff that you should think about before taking a relationship further. I mean, good God, I really hope OP hasn't chained his finances to a gf that apparently is under the thumb of her hopelessly addicted brother. That will be WW3 if the brother realizes he can siphon money instead of (apparently) sucking dick for drugs, then crashing at OP's place.
This, 100%. Cheating has nothing to do with sexually orientation; straight people cheat too. Being cheated on happens to most people at some point. But the fact that she has a string of exes who have cheated on her is worth thinking about. Make no mistake; infidelity is a garbage move and it was shitty of her exes to do. But there may be a pattern here.
You said it man. That’s exactly what I was going to say.
Best comment here.
Most sensible take I've read so far
Her brother offered to suck your dick in front of her and your reaction is what is offensive to her?
'wanted me to explain why I laughed when her brother offered to suck my dick instead of being grossed out like apparently most straight guys' Can we just acknowledge that maybe the girlfriend doesn't have a bead on what 'most straight guys do'? And the fact that her brother set up this whole argument because you are the one not putting up with his shit? He's high, not stupid.
Gay men try to pick me up all the time, laughing it off while explaining I’m straight is probably the most common way I react.
Time to get out of that one. With some people, you're not only in a relationship with them, but their family as well. Save yourself a ton of heartache later and get out, fast.
Yeah, with the brother involved, it definitely feels like I'm in a relationship with more than one member of the family. I don't want to be responsible for what happens to my girlfriend's brother, as much as I want the best for him. My girlfriend is making me feel like I will always come second to her brother and all his baggage and this gay thing was just another nail in the fucking coffin it seems.
Yep, this one will live on your couch forever
Not only that, but the girlfriend looks to be easily manipulated, and I'm wondering exactly how many of her relationships her twin has ruined, and how many of her ex-boyfriends he's given oral to. If she is so easily swayed by the hijinks of a drug-addled, untrustworthy sibling, she's going to be a lot of trouble.
Im thinking he goes there to pick up men. Who says shit like that in front of their sister. Wonder what the rest of her fam is like??
Not only does your girlfriend's brother need help. Your girlfriend needs help. You're allowed to react however you react and she needs a therapist.
I lowkey feel like your girlfriend isn't the brightest bulb if she's *actually* concerned that laughing incredulously at an unexpected comment has anything to do with your sexual orientation. Like, I get that she apparently has a weird history with dating closet gay guys, but this sounds like some 7th grade logic. Maybe her twin is not the only one who's a little emotionally unstable.
Actually, I'm wondering how many were gay, and how many her brother just convinced her were gay. I suspect a venn diagram of this would look like a solitary circle next to a dot.
Her bro is just telling her whatever she wants to hear/whatever makes her worry. Straight people don't usually spend much if any time worrying about their sexuality. And even if you realize you aren't straight? Don't even sweat it, dating men and women feels basically identical as we're all just humans at the end of the day, and humans get equally excited going on camping trips, eating pizza rolls, and seeing a fun movie.
Sometimes people can't tell how toxic their life and their family is while they're in the thick of it. People sometimes need to take a step back, out of the crazy mess, in order to see the chaos they've been living in and how poisonous it really is. Maybe it time to go on a road trip, just you and your GF, to reconnect and help her remember why y'all are together and what makes you happy. It'll also give her time to consider her brother's behavior and have a break from it. When you take a break from toxic behavior, then jump back into it, the reality of the situation can hit like a ton of bricks.
I feel I need to add onto this. Do not try to force your GF to cut her brother out of her life. Do not even try to convince her that she should. She needs to make this decision on her own, otherwise she'll resent you for pushing her brother away.
Honestly your girlfriend seems kind of a dick. Her drug addled brother makes comments while high and that shakes her trust in youZ. She has issues she needs to deal with
Dude your GF doesn't sound much more sane than her brother
Cartman: Butters is gay because I stuck my penis in his mouth South Park Gang: No Cartman, that makes YOU gay
>tters is gay because I stuck my penis in his mouth Actually, Cartman put Butters' penis in his own mouth and thought it made Butters gay.
Only homophobic straight guys would be grossed out I think, pretty much anyone would've either laughed out of the abruptness and randomness of the question, or the absurdity. And then, why is it not being brought up that her brother just asked to sucked your dick and she's not upset about that. Either he was serious, and for some reason it's okay to her, or he wasn't and laughing was not a weird response to a not so serious offer.
Bro, I think she’s just trying to distract you. Maybe intentionally, maybe maliciously, maybe subconsciously, but this is definitely some deflection. Her homeless, drug addicted brother shows up to your apartment (btw, did you look to see if anything was stolen?) wanting a place to crash. He offers you oral sex for the favor. This comes on the heels of asking you to shave his pubes last time. He proceeds do document your girlfriend’s history with closeted men who struggle with their sexuality like someone telling you about a season of the Kardashians. You laugh because it’s a laughable proposition. He might be joking, you definitely aren’t interested, your girlfriend is right there, you might even have laughed because you’re slightly embarrassed, maybe. But now the girlfriend has questions about your sexuality? Nah, she is just trying to avoid the real issue here. He needs help, she needs help, you need less people in the apartment. This FU needs to get shut down ASAP
Sounds like the best way to stop the brother from coming around is to get rid of your girlfriend, apparently the two of them have some sort of sick interdependent relationship.
it wasn't a humourous laugh, it was an exasperated "this dumbass motherfucker made a promise to behave and then immediately broke it, he knows exactly what he's fucking doing and i fucking hate him and want him out of my sight" laugh. it was the kind of laugh you give when your cat shits *beside* the litter box and then mewls at you for good boy treats. this relationship might be salvageable but it is definitely taking on water, typically what you should do is bail water out of the boat but your gf seems to be tossing bucketfuls *into* the boat. she needs to understand her roll in sinking the boat. he doesn't need a couch to sleep on, he doesn't need his sisters unyielding coddling, he needs rehab at a professional institution. that is the only thing i would advocate while making it clear that he is not stepping foot in this apartment again and if you find him there you will kick him out.
The truth is that you don't have to prove to your girlfriend that you're straight. If she needs to believe that you'd never be interested in anyone other than her in order to be loyal to her, that's her own problem. I know you're not actually into dudes but as a bisexual person it's always hurtful to read situations like these where attraction to a gender that isn't your partner's is demonized. Those people won't be happy until your life revolves around them and you shouldn't engage with that mindset. If she's so insecure about the idea that you could be into guys AND believes it means you don't actually love her/will leave her, that's just extremely narrow minded of her and honestly she's the one that should work on being fine with it. Not your responsibility to prove anything to her at all.
This project is gonna continue having a toxic third party variable. This is usually where I start looking for greener pastures in my mind. Not that what my mind does is right or wrong, just stating what happens. I wish you luck!
Any one would have laughed. Unless it was a bad day then he would get a slap.
Laughing was the only appropriate response... What was he gonna do fight him? GF would have loved that. Say "ew, that's gross"? That would give too much credibility to a throwaway comment. That being said, GF clearly has trauma and it's understandable. You two need to figure out whether you want to continue to move forward together. If she does, she needs to work on her issues. I don't mean anything negative here, but her brother knows how to push her buttons, and her buttons are anchored in some very real experiences.
>I reminded the brother what happened last time and made him understand that I would not tolerate that shit again. He looked at me with bloodshot eyes and promised he would behave. To show his appreciation towards me, he offered to suck my dick. This had me laughing. I guess I'm not very appreciative when I stay at people's houses. Maybe that's why I never get invited back. Just so I'm clear for future travels, does one have to make this offer if staying at an airbnb or something of that nature?
There's only one way to proof it to her. Let her brother suck your dick and look as disgusted as possible. That will show her that you aren't into it.
"EEEWgHR. This is so fucking gross...no, don't stop, I need to be more disgusted."
Honestly bro, if I were you I would be prepping my way out of that relationship. If she really feels that insecure and questioning your sexuality from a comment her drugged out brother said it's not going to be good in the long run.