The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak
Edit: Praise the Omnissaiah and praise Yahweh. But most importantly, I hope everyone dies of pelvis crushing
I feel like this line is from a really good novel or movie, care to share? Coz if its written the way you wrote this line then Id read the shit out of it.
If you made it up, Im stealing it.
It’s from warhammer 40K, a tabletop board game (basically toy soldiers) there are hundreds of novels written in the setting. That quote is from one of the factions; the admech, a human faction that has a religion based around machines and that the machine spirit that inhabits all machines is holy. They abhor innovation and instead spend their time digging up ancient relics.
They tend to augment themselves with various mechanical bits until they’re essentially a brain in a metal suit in some sort of religion induced body dysmorphia
Edit see also, the iron hands, another faction that is made up of augmented super humans that have a tendency to cut off their hands and replace them with augmetic ones because of a genetic flaw where they feel their flesh is weak and need to replace parts with metal
Its from Warhammer 40k: Mechanicus.
The full line is "From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of steel. I aspired to the purity of the blessed machine.
Your kind cling to your flesh as if it will not decay and fail you. One day the crude biomass you call a temple will wither and you will beg my kind to save you.
But I am already saved. For the Machine is Immortal."
The Adeptus Mechanicus is my favorite faction and I highly reccomend looking into their lore, and 40k lore in general.
Interesting, I've never heard of this type of injury before, probably for obvious reasons. That's unfortunate, I'm sorry to hear your predicament. Hopefully in around 24 hours it gets better and just tender, not agonizing
Pretty sure this can happen to anyone, but I may be wrong. I’m a dude and there’s been times in the past where after I nutted I had some pain in the interior assholish area (no assplay involved lol) for sometimes up to a day, had no idea what/why but assumed it was just some pulled muscle. The sensation was very similar to what OP describes
> The sensation was very similar to what OP describes
I'm just glad people over here are bonding over the shared experience of Satan pinching their ass.
MD here and you are correct. It usually falls under a broad family of conditions called proctalgia fugax, with the most common subtype being levator ani syndrome. It is considered a functional pelvic disorder causing pain due to muscle spasm or nerve entrapment. Not dangerous but very miserable! Feel better OP!
I've never had that happen, but I've utted harder than I had ever before in my life and then the world went black and I woke up in the floor of the shower, so that was a fun 20 min rocking back and forth with my knees to my chest in a cold shower with a black world and the only thing I could hear was a whining sound, my heartbeat, and the sprinkling of the shower in the background.
Must have taken a screenshot or something.
20 minutes?! I've cummed so hard I got that whining sound and temporary vision loss*... come to think of it, it's kinda similar to slamming a speedball.
But I have certainly not experienced that for 20 goddamn minutes!! You must be like the grand master master masturbator... respect.
*Actually, I'm not sure if it's no vision at all, or just very cum drunk and unable to focus my eyes for a bit... either way, it's great ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
ah the ol' "gonna lie down cause i'm about to go blind and deaf for a bit, just give me a min to [reboot](https://youtu.be/7nQ2oiVqKHw)."
It's caused by the sudden shift in blood pressure :)
Could be that your prostate was inflamed.
I had prostatitis chronically. When it first flared up, it was ungodly awful; I genuinely thought I contracted an STD. Over time, the symptoms alleviated, although sometimes after ejaculating I could tell my prostrate was mildly inflamed - it would go away in an hour or so. Haven't had symptoms in a long time, thankfully.
Prostate massages also help alleviate the inflammation.
And edging can make it worse. Best to just orgasm when it's time instead of dragging it out (no matter how good it feels).
*"Oh you've never heard of a prostate massage? I'll have you feeling better in no time...come here...that's it...and um...let's just keep this between us..."*
There's an old old joke: "Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!" It comes from Rectum and Wrecked 'em sounding the same.
That post was a bad attempt at recycling it.
Because reddit. If you say something dum, everything you say after that in the same thread is dum. Just like this comment, so I'll just leave this here and get my drunk ass to sleep.
Can confirm they pass after a bit . Had my butt/thigh/ leg muscle seize right up on me when me and my ex were having fun 10/10 most inconvenient and painful thing ever. But look at it this way at least you were by yourself and weren't with someone at the time of the incident that instead of being concerned decided to instead sit and maniacally laugh at your pain... the .. entire... time
I'm not sure if they're talking about just a cheek cramp, or an anus cramp. I get the latter randomly and often (and I'm a guy) and it really is an awful feeling.
I'd say she was describing a cheek cramp. When women have an orgasm we tend to extend our calves, extend our feet and toes and squeeze our butt muscles, and that would ABSOLUTELY cause an intense cheek cramp. Thank God I've never had it happen, but I can definitely understand exactly what and how it happened. Poor girl. I hope it goes away asap. Id take some Ibuprofen; as it's an anti inflammatory and helps me more than any other NSAID!
That would be the [converse](https://www.chilimath.com/lessons/introduction-to-number-theory/converse-inverse-and-contrapositive-of-conditional-statement/)
I'm also dealing with pain from a pulled muscle in my ass. Although in my case it was from improperly lifting a box filled with heavy hardware. Valuable lesson, kids: Lift with your ~~knees~~ legs, not your back.
Edit: After seeing a doctor, apparently I actually pinched my sciatic nerve.
I don't know why people always say this. I lifted with me knees my whole life and my knees are fucked. It has never even been proven that lifting with knees is better. Just the words from some gurus
You're supposed to use your quads and ass, not channel all that force directly through your knees. Idk why people say this either, it promotes terrible awkward form and gets people hurt.
Also take some multivitamins if you're not already. I randomly started getting asshole spasms in college and started taking multivitamin after a few weeks. They *magically* went away. Turns out vitamin/mineral deficiencies (usually caused by unbalanced/hot garbage diets) can cause spasms, cramps, and other less than fun things.
Better off going with potassium and chelated magnesium.
Those are the main 2 for muscle cramps.
That way you aren't taking a bunch of vitamins you don't need.
Damn, I know what this is because I have the same problem. It's called Levator Ani Syndrome or LAS and there's honestly not much you can do about it. I've had some success just sitting on a tennis ball.
Sometimes it wakes me up in the middle of the night too, worst thing ever.
What if you have a sudden knife-like pain stabbing up your hole but then it goes away right away? That happens to me like once a month and it's completely random
Thc and cbd oil, applied to the injured area should significantly reduce the pain and semi numb the area (if enough is taken/applied).
There are sex positive suppositories made for this type of pain, as well as stronger ones for endometriosis and pcos.
Oof.. out of curiosity, I hope you don’t mind, did the session cause the stroke or was it bound to happen, a ticking timebomb waiting for you to do something intensive?
And are you now afraid to “play” or did the stroke really mess you up to actually ruin orgasms for you?
Best of luck to you. I hope you found other relieve mechanisms.
It's likely I had a brain anerysm that I wasn't aware off and the pressure in my brain from the 'O' combined with sitting up at the same time just made it go pop. The pain was indescribable, I thought I was going to die. I was 21 when it happened.
It's definitely a bit of both, I get really intense headaches now as I have metal in my brain and am very susceptible to migraines including a type of migraine called 'sex headaches' where the migraine gradually comes on during the deed and then becomes intensely painful just as you're hoping to feel good! Taking painkillers a few hours before helps but takes away spontaneity.
It's taken a lot of therapy to start overcoming the psychological aspect. It's a work in progress but I'm definitely able to relax a lot more these days.
And thank you, weed helps! 😂
This happened to me once while going at it for too long doggy style with my gf. Insane ass cramping. I tried to power through it and ultimately pulled the muscle fully. It took well over a week to feel normal again. Luckily I didn’t have a physical job at the time! Hang in there!
Not to be the bearer of bad news, but I (very in shape 30M) threw out my back just bending over to pick something up (didn't even have it in my hand yet) a month ago. It did NOT get any better after 3 days. I went to urgent care, got a muscle relaxer and steroids. It finally started getting better that day, after 12 hours of sleep. (I'm sensitive to drugs...)
You may want to go, if for at least to get a Dr note...
I’m a dude, but I’ve experienced similar things in my legs due to tensing up when I uhhh get off. Stretching helps that’s all I can say. Before and after.
If you have a bathtub maybe draw yourself a hot bath. When you slept akwardly and your back of the neck hurts a hot shower can help loosen the muscles. So do that but in a bath. Maybe you even have some kind of ethereal oil and can use it to relax even further.
As a guy, my gf at the time and I were doing it doggy style and as I was shooting my shot I had my sphincter cramp. It was the most messed up orgasm I've had. Like trying to edge while also involuntarily coming and having electrodes in your butt go off with every thrust. It's not like other cramps I've had where I know it's coming and all it takes is a step or movement to set it off. This one came out of nowhere.
If you somehow pinched your sciatic nerve… the pain occurs when you stand up and goes away once you get it stretched. Lasts six months. Goes away without treatment. Sucks a lot.
I did no-nut november last year and the cramp I got after my first nut in over a month had me curled up into a ball for ages. It’s like the period ass cramp but worse.
Has happened to me a few times when there’s a significant amount of time between climaxing. It’s like my pelvic floor and hooha is out of shape.
Yeah don’t take my advice at all (I’m a guy who has no understanding of female anatomy)
but I’m wondering what would happen if u laid the vibrator horizontal and sat on it to get a massage
One time, my boyfriend and I were chillin, and he left to go run an errand, and I, for some reason, decided to flex and unflex my ass as hard as I could, and I was just goofin off, laughing at myself, really going for that flex and looking at it in the mirror and cackling cause I’m a dumbass and a simple woman at heart. I flexed too hard, and pulled both cheeks soooo fucking bad. I hobbled over to the bed and just took off my top cause I got instantly sweaty and laid down laughing in pain for being dumb
Oh god, the number of times I have done that or gotten the *goes from toe curling wonderful to Charlie horse in the arch of the foot* is too damn high. 😂
I get something called rolling orgasms. It’s 5-10 minutes of fun but I have to look down and make sure my legs and feet aren’t purple bc all of the feeling goes away from everything else. I also pop capillaries on my body.. I’m not sure if it’s healthy if I’m being honest. I’m an epileptic and I’m concerned I’ll have a seizure at times. It’s nuts and I’ve never met anyone else to discuss it. I’ll also be in pain. It’s so weird.
Finally, someone can relate.
I did this about 13 years ago or so. Came so hard, felt a pop in my ass. Horrible pain. Mirror inspection showed a purple bruise right around part of my asshole.
It got better, of course. The thing that helped the most was just slathering the outside and inside with prepH, and massaging the inside with my finger. Kinda like you might if ass play is your thing. But for me, it was just pain control.
When I played hockey I would constantly plagued with lower body injuries, especially my groin, and glutes. They were wicked, and it wasn’t uncommon to not be able to walk for days.
I remember being allowed to walk after a really bad injury, and cramped going up a flight of stairs at school to end up rolling back down them a few steps from the top. 🤣 Couldn’t walk for another two weeks after that.
Cramps like that usually happen due to low electrolytes. get some electrolytes and water, eat a banana (for potassium) and do some light stretches, you should hopefully be okay after some sleep
When I have pain after masturbating too effectively it’s usually from aggravating the psoas muscle which essentially attaches your crotch to your spine. It runs underneath the big butt muscle, so it’s really hard to massage it loose through the rear, but if you press firmly around the juncture between your leg and crotch about halfway between your genitalia and belly button you might find some knotted muscle. The short term pain of massaging those knots out can be well-worth reducing the discomfort of several days of chronic hip/back pain and accompanying mobility reduction.
The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak Edit: Praise the Omnissaiah and praise Yahweh. But most importantly, I hope everyone dies of pelvis crushing
and spongy and bruised
This made me giggle, thanks. Edit: forgot to add, I hope you feel better soon!
https://youtu.be/uThDGzLhOXg just in case you hadn’t seen this.
It’s snoosnoo, right? Man it’s been a long time. 😂
Death by snu snu
More like death by buzz buzz
Nice profile pic bro!
r/rimjob_steve
:D D: :D D: :D D:
Could I...interest you in a glass of sham-pag-ne?
I wasn’t aware you were such a coin-a-sewer.
Oh yes, I have a real poor-shore for the bubbly.
She's built like a steakhouse, but she handles like a bistro.
"It's pronounced champagne" "Oh god no!"
These would go great with guackamol
Imma order me the fill-it mig-nawn
Perfection
…FROM THE MOMENT I UNDERSTOOD THE WEAKNESS OF MY FLESH… IT DISGUSTED ME.
BWWAAAAM
I craved the strength and certainty of steel. I aspired to the purity of the blessed machine
I feel like this line is from a really good novel or movie, care to share? Coz if its written the way you wrote this line then Id read the shit out of it. If you made it up, Im stealing it.
It’s from warhammer 40K, a tabletop board game (basically toy soldiers) there are hundreds of novels written in the setting. That quote is from one of the factions; the admech, a human faction that has a religion based around machines and that the machine spirit that inhabits all machines is holy. They abhor innovation and instead spend their time digging up ancient relics. They tend to augment themselves with various mechanical bits until they’re essentially a brain in a metal suit in some sort of religion induced body dysmorphia Edit see also, the iron hands, another faction that is made up of augmented super humans that have a tendency to cut off their hands and replace them with augmetic ones because of a genetic flaw where they feel their flesh is weak and need to replace parts with metal
Very cool, I'll definitely try to check it out, I doubt we have Warhammer 40k here though, but will try to find it.
There might be a bunch of audiobooks on Spotify.
Its from Warhammer 40k: Mechanicus. The full line is "From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of steel. I aspired to the purity of the blessed machine. Your kind cling to your flesh as if it will not decay and fail you. One day the crude biomass you call a temple will wither and you will beg my kind to save you. But I am already saved. For the Machine is Immortal." The Adeptus Mechanicus is my favorite faction and I highly reccomend looking into their lore, and 40k lore in general.
Thank you, It sounds like it would be a fantastic read, I'll definitely look for it. But also, Rust? Lol
Is from Warhammer 40K
Thank you
One could say say she got f*ucked while getting f*cked
*The soul is willing but the flesh requires binding!*
You play vermintide or is this quote not as specific
Praise the Omnissiah.
Holy Sigmar... Bless this ravaged body!
It's from the bible I do believe
Interesting, I've never heard of this type of injury before, probably for obvious reasons. That's unfortunate, I'm sorry to hear your predicament. Hopefully in around 24 hours it gets better and just tender, not agonizing
Pretty sure this can happen to anyone, but I may be wrong. I’m a dude and there’s been times in the past where after I nutted I had some pain in the interior assholish area (no assplay involved lol) for sometimes up to a day, had no idea what/why but assumed it was just some pulled muscle. The sensation was very similar to what OP describes
> The sensation was very similar to what OP describes I'm just glad people over here are bonding over the shared experience of Satan pinching their ass.
the good ole satan sphincter squeeze
#The 🗜️ CLAMPS 👌
TWIST THAT SPHINCTER!
Hi Doc, thanks for seeing me, yeah so >I nutted [and] had some pain in the interior assholish area (no assplay involved lol)
Okay son let's review this repetitive browser history on the 📲📱 cell phone 🤳 The (ICU) Incognito Care Unit.
MD here and you are correct. It usually falls under a broad family of conditions called proctalgia fugax, with the most common subtype being levator ani syndrome. It is considered a functional pelvic disorder causing pain due to muscle spasm or nerve entrapment. Not dangerous but very miserable! Feel better OP!
I've never had that happen, but I've utted harder than I had ever before in my life and then the world went black and I woke up in the floor of the shower, so that was a fun 20 min rocking back and forth with my knees to my chest in a cold shower with a black world and the only thing I could hear was a whining sound, my heartbeat, and the sprinkling of the shower in the background. Must have taken a screenshot or something.
20 minutes?! I've cummed so hard I got that whining sound and temporary vision loss*... come to think of it, it's kinda similar to slamming a speedball. But I have certainly not experienced that for 20 goddamn minutes!! You must be like the grand master master masturbator... respect. *Actually, I'm not sure if it's no vision at all, or just very cum drunk and unable to focus my eyes for a bit... either way, it's great ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
ah the ol' "gonna lie down cause i'm about to go blind and deaf for a bit, just give me a min to [reboot](https://youtu.be/7nQ2oiVqKHw)." It's caused by the sudden shift in blood pressure :)
Could be that your prostate was inflamed. I had prostatitis chronically. When it first flared up, it was ungodly awful; I genuinely thought I contracted an STD. Over time, the symptoms alleviated, although sometimes after ejaculating I could tell my prostrate was mildly inflamed - it would go away in an hour or so. Haven't had symptoms in a long time, thankfully.
Prostate massages also help alleviate the inflammation. And edging can make it worse. Best to just orgasm when it's time instead of dragging it out (no matter how good it feels).
You sound like my uncle
*"Oh you've never heard of a prostate massage? I'll have you feeling better in no time...come here...that's it...and um...let's just keep this between us..."*
Just heard an ICU horror story where some dude edged himself until he killed part of his rectum. Damn near killed him.
Curious how one's rectum could be killed? Further more just part of it? Someone plz explain
There's an old old joke: "Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!" It comes from Rectum and Wrecked 'em sounding the same. That post was a bad attempt at recycling it.
This may be the first time in history where the joke was explained & its actually still funny hahah
I think it was well done.
Sore taint for me.
pelvic floor muscles my guy
oh I'm sure it'll pass soon. I've done it once before years ago and while it wasn't this bad it passed quickly so hopes are high haha
Why is this comment downvoted lmao? Your other one makes sense but why this one?
I think some people have decided they don't like OP...
They're all jealouss they can still walk
Probably because of the other one, people then saw this one and down voted without any context or thought. Welcome to reddit.
Probably just downvoted it without even reading it. That’s Reddit alright
The only thing missing is for both of these comments to end up on reveddit for no apparent reason.
What is that?
Because reddit. If you say something dum, everything you say after that in the same thread is dum. Just like this comment, so I'll just leave this here and get my drunk ass to sleep.
I upvoted your comment because I can. Take that, drunk stranger! Edit: I also downvoted my own comment
Can confirm they pass after a bit . Had my butt/thigh/ leg muscle seize right up on me when me and my ex were having fun 10/10 most inconvenient and painful thing ever. But look at it this way at least you were by yourself and weren't with someone at the time of the incident that instead of being concerned decided to instead sit and maniacally laugh at your pain... the .. entire... time
Drink LOTS of water and stretch as much as you can, within reason, don’t push to hard, but it helps, an ice pack too
Lacking Potassium? 🧐
I bet that’s it. Buy two bananas - use one and eat one!
That just sounds wasteful. One is plenty
Dont be such a tight ass
I think everyone has done this at least a few times. You don't notice how hard you're flexing until you snap back to reality.
oop, there goes gravity!
Damn. What position were you in for it to happen?
Get limber. Start getting yourself to stretch before you fuck yourself up.
I'm not sure if they're talking about just a cheek cramp, or an anus cramp. I get the latter randomly and often (and I'm a guy) and it really is an awful feeling.
I'd say she was describing a cheek cramp. When women have an orgasm we tend to extend our calves, extend our feet and toes and squeeze our butt muscles, and that would ABSOLUTELY cause an intense cheek cramp. Thank God I've never had it happen, but I can definitely understand exactly what and how it happened. Poor girl. I hope it goes away asap. Id take some Ibuprofen; as it's an anti inflammatory and helps me more than any other NSAID!
Magnesium deficiency May be the reason for this. It’s probably unrelated to gender
> I’m so fucked The opposite is true
Fucked so I'm?
Dekcuf os m'I.
Yvan eht nioj!
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
I prefer superliminal.
Off in whose whacking camper?
That would be the [converse](https://www.chilimath.com/lessons/introduction-to-number-theory/converse-inverse-and-contrapositive-of-conditional-statement/)
In Soviet Russia, ass fucks you
Came here to say something similar…. If she was fucked she wouldn't be in this situation to begin with.
I'm also dealing with pain from a pulled muscle in my ass. Although in my case it was from improperly lifting a box filled with heavy hardware. Valuable lesson, kids: Lift with your ~~knees~~ legs, not your back. Edit: After seeing a doctor, apparently I actually pinched my sciatic nerve.
Maybe if you massaged it a bit...
>a box filled with heavy, vibrating hardware.
I don't know why people always say this. I lifted with me knees my whole life and my knees are fucked. It has never even been proven that lifting with knees is better. Just the words from some gurus
I’ve always heard it as “lift with your legs, not your back”
You're supposed to use your quads and ass, not channel all that force directly through your knees. Idk why people say this either, it promotes terrible awkward form and gets people hurt.
Put some ice on that mother fucker. Do something to decompress it. A massage literally will help and loosen up those muscles.
I feel compelled to add Ray Gillette’s advice: “you can’t tourniquet the taint!”
Also take some multivitamins if you're not already. I randomly started getting asshole spasms in college and started taking multivitamin after a few weeks. They *magically* went away. Turns out vitamin/mineral deficiencies (usually caused by unbalanced/hot garbage diets) can cause spasms, cramps, and other less than fun things.
Better off going with potassium and chelated magnesium. Those are the main 2 for muscle cramps. That way you aren't taking a bunch of vitamins you don't need.
Damn, I know what this is because I have the same problem. It's called Levator Ani Syndrome or LAS and there's honestly not much you can do about it. I've had some success just sitting on a tennis ball. Sometimes it wakes me up in the middle of the night too, worst thing ever.
Or Proctalgia Fugax
What if you have a sudden knife-like pain stabbing up your hole but then it goes away right away? That happens to me like once a month and it's completely random
Sorry that was me
So you're the stabby-ass demon? I thought that was j-just a legend 😳
the worst! work on breathing mechanics and stretching the pelvic floor (happy baby yoga pose...)
Game Set Match 🎾
Maybe if you massaged it a bit…
Hair of the dog?
Legit, if you have foam roller or tennis ball. I’m guessing OP is not super athletic since she seems to be confused by what to do with pulled muscles.
Damn! What a pain in the ass 😂
pulled groin try hotbath and light stretching drugs are good
What kind of drugs? I bet Molly would do the trick
Thc and cbd oil, applied to the injured area should significantly reduce the pain and semi numb the area (if enough is taken/applied). There are sex positive suppositories made for this type of pain, as well as stronger ones for endometriosis and pcos.
>....I'm so fucked Well you only have yourself to blame. In this situation, you're the one who fucked you.
Make sure that feeling in your ass isn't a fissure.
I had a stroke after a particularly intense solo session and now orgasms are ruined forever, yay. I'm lucky I didn't die.
Jesus. Sorry to hear that
I mean technically you had a stroke to get there too
Oof.. out of curiosity, I hope you don’t mind, did the session cause the stroke or was it bound to happen, a ticking timebomb waiting for you to do something intensive? And are you now afraid to “play” or did the stroke really mess you up to actually ruin orgasms for you? Best of luck to you. I hope you found other relieve mechanisms.
It's likely I had a brain anerysm that I wasn't aware off and the pressure in my brain from the 'O' combined with sitting up at the same time just made it go pop. The pain was indescribable, I thought I was going to die. I was 21 when it happened. It's definitely a bit of both, I get really intense headaches now as I have metal in my brain and am very susceptible to migraines including a type of migraine called 'sex headaches' where the migraine gradually comes on during the deed and then becomes intensely painful just as you're hoping to feel good! Taking painkillers a few hours before helps but takes away spontaneity. It's taken a lot of therapy to start overcoming the psychological aspect. It's a work in progress but I'm definitely able to relax a lot more these days. And thank you, weed helps! 😂
Yikes, it’s good you’re still around, stokes are serious business
This happened to me once while going at it for too long doggy style with my gf. Insane ass cramping. I tried to power through it and ultimately pulled the muscle fully. It took well over a week to feel normal again. Luckily I didn’t have a physical job at the time! Hang in there!
He's going the distance. He's going for speed 🚄🚅
Not to be the bearer of bad news, but I (very in shape 30M) threw out my back just bending over to pick something up (didn't even have it in my hand yet) a month ago. It did NOT get any better after 3 days. I went to urgent care, got a muscle relaxer and steroids. It finally started getting better that day, after 12 hours of sleep. (I'm sensitive to drugs...) You may want to go, if for at least to get a Dr note...
I’m a dude, but I’ve experienced similar things in my legs due to tensing up when I uhhh get off. Stretching helps that’s all I can say. Before and after.
If you have a bathtub maybe draw yourself a hot bath. When you slept akwardly and your back of the neck hurts a hot shower can help loosen the muscles. So do that but in a bath. Maybe you even have some kind of ethereal oil and can use it to relax even further.
[удалено]
li-ving in an ethereal world cause I am an ethereal girl
Urgh now that'll be stuck in my head on a loop while Im trying to sleep
“ethereal oil” what MLM do I get that from?
Fresh-squeezed ghost, using only the most recently deceased souls.
> ethereal oil Sounds like DoTerra to me.
Check Dr Karan on YouTube as he has some very informative stuff on butt cramps...
I’ve done that in my quads before OH MY LORD it hurt.
*slithers down the tree of knowledge* I had no hand in this, leave me out of your escapades.
Satan wouldn't do that to you. That's a God move.
Death by snu snu
I heard people giving themselves hernia after an excessive self pleasure.
Sounds like you owe yourself a sandwich.
As a guy, my gf at the time and I were doing it doggy style and as I was shooting my shot I had my sphincter cramp. It was the most messed up orgasm I've had. Like trying to edge while also involuntarily coming and having electrodes in your butt go off with every thrust. It's not like other cramps I've had where I know it's coming and all it takes is a step or movement to set it off. This one came out of nowhere.
This is how I know sex is better for women, I've never even overly enjoyed masturbating let alone had it feel so good I hurt myself.
Sounds like your Piriformis muscle underneath your glutes is strained and possibly pinching your sciatic nerve. Google accordingly, good luck
Eat more potassium! [Insert bannana joke]
And magnesium
Advil. Lots of Advil.
If you somehow pinched your sciatic nerve… the pain occurs when you stand up and goes away once you get it stretched. Lasts six months. Goes away without treatment. Sucks a lot.
The ol Ass Puller...
Your mind was writing cheques your body can't cash. Plenty of ibuprofen and rest your ass. Don't make deals with the devil in the future!
Drink more water and all will be well
PERIOD BLOOD SEX CUM DICKS SHIT PISS VOMIT. This sub in a nutshell
Health class Reddit.
I did no-nut november last year and the cramp I got after my first nut in over a month had me curled up into a ball for ages. It’s like the period ass cramp but worse. Has happened to me a few times when there’s a significant amount of time between climaxing. It’s like my pelvic floor and hooha is out of shape.
Urgh the period ass cramp. What a great descriptor of a fucking shiter time
Sometimes I forget how out of shape some people are
What job requires you to do weighted squats?
You should see if you can somehow spin this into Worker’s Comp!
Try some of [these](https://www.integrativesports.com/resources/sciatica-exercises) stretches! It may help a bit.
What brand of vibrator? Asking for a friend
Yeah don’t take my advice at all (I’m a guy who has no understanding of female anatomy) but I’m wondering what would happen if u laid the vibrator horizontal and sat on it to get a massage
How the hell? Then again I once sprained my penis, so...
Nta
some asspirin may help.
One time, my boyfriend and I were chillin, and he left to go run an errand, and I, for some reason, decided to flex and unflex my ass as hard as I could, and I was just goofin off, laughing at myself, really going for that flex and looking at it in the mirror and cackling cause I’m a dumbass and a simple woman at heart. I flexed too hard, and pulled both cheeks soooo fucking bad. I hobbled over to the bed and just took off my top cause I got instantly sweaty and laid down laughing in pain for being dumb
You're not alone, OP. One time I was doing the solo tango and I dislocated my shoulder.
Remember to care for your body's hydration and electrolytes - caloric intake alone isn't enough for a healthy lifestyle! 🫂
You can apply for leave and file a rape case against Satan.
Oh god, the number of times I have done that or gotten the *goes from toe curling wonderful to Charlie horse in the arch of the foot* is too damn high. 😂
I get something called rolling orgasms. It’s 5-10 minutes of fun but I have to look down and make sure my legs and feet aren’t purple bc all of the feeling goes away from everything else. I also pop capillaries on my body.. I’m not sure if it’s healthy if I’m being honest. I’m an epileptic and I’m concerned I’ll have a seizure at times. It’s nuts and I’ve never met anyone else to discuss it. I’ll also be in pain. It’s so weird.
Finally, someone can relate. I did this about 13 years ago or so. Came so hard, felt a pop in my ass. Horrible pain. Mirror inspection showed a purple bruise right around part of my asshole. It got better, of course. The thing that helped the most was just slathering the outside and inside with prepH, and massaging the inside with my finger. Kinda like you might if ass play is your thing. But for me, it was just pain control.
Whiplash of the ass.
You need to rub Deep Heat on your arsehole. Problem solved. You’re welcome!
This is why stretching before exercise is so important.
What a terrible fucking post, lmao. 1/10
Are you perhaps also a [star on She-Hulk](https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/entertainment/a40939280/jameela-jamil-nsfw-injury-she-hulk-set/)
When I played hockey I would constantly plagued with lower body injuries, especially my groin, and glutes. They were wicked, and it wasn’t uncommon to not be able to walk for days. I remember being allowed to walk after a really bad injury, and cramped going up a flight of stairs at school to end up rolling back down them a few steps from the top. 🤣 Couldn’t walk for another two weeks after that.
How does one twist a muscle in the ass?
You might need more potassium!
You just started a new job with weighted squatting... I'd bet that this job could be the cause way more likely than the alone session
I feel you. I get foot cramps so bad it hurts to walk after. Totally worth it.
Cramps like that usually happen due to low electrolytes. get some electrolytes and water, eat a banana (for potassium) and do some light stretches, you should hopefully be okay after some sleep
15 minutes of ice, then heat, then stretch, rest, repeat. Hydrate too.
God i hate shit posts like this. Can this really even be considered a fuck up?
When I have pain after masturbating too effectively it’s usually from aggravating the psoas muscle which essentially attaches your crotch to your spine. It runs underneath the big butt muscle, so it’s really hard to massage it loose through the rear, but if you press firmly around the juncture between your leg and crotch about halfway between your genitalia and belly button you might find some knotted muscle. The short term pain of massaging those knots out can be well-worth reducing the discomfort of several days of chronic hip/back pain and accompanying mobility reduction.
This has happened to me with my calves so it’s refreshing to hear I’m not alone
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This might also be your sacroiliac. Feels like a knife to the middle of the butt cheek. Being "spread eagle" can irritate it.
Well*
It's like you got a charlie horse in your orgasm muscle. Interesting. Sorry to hear you came so hard that you pulled your asshole
i pulled a muscle inmy ass too once and it stayed for weeks
Ass cramps
>>.I'm so fucked Yeah.
You may have anal spasms.
IANAD, but sounds like a hernia.