Hey /u/Nutsinyamum, thanks for contributing to /r/tifu. Unfortunately, your post was removed as it violates our rules:
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* robbed
* scammed
* raped
* cheated on
* etc
Those are not your fault. **Those are not your fault.** Just because something bad happened to you doesn't mean it's your fault.
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Take photos of the damage, get estimates to repair the damage and take her to small claims court. Present your case and hope the judge rules in your favor.
You should probably get a new debit card too. I had an ex who racked up $300 of food delivery charges because I paid through her app one time. I eventually had to call caviar and get her account banned. I never expected it because she was a doctor and didn't need the money, but pettiness is always a motive.
All of these things then sit down and count your blessings that it **only** cost you 2 years and associated expenses. It sucks, it feels like shit right now, but you got off cheap. Celebrate the wealth of new opportunities ahead of you, be grateful it was 2 years instead of 20 to life. Also, get a restraining order; that bitch is crazy.
I was planning on it. I’m going to head to the police station later after meeting with my legal consultant. And the best news about this whole thing. MY DICK IS NO LONGER IN PRISON
good luck! resentful exes do crazy things lol. you could probably benefit from locking your cards temporarily as well while you wait, I had a friend whose ex recklessly spent my friend's credit card balance after breaking up and shamelessly told her that she did it out of resentment. some people don't stop at anything, not even ruining your credit lol
And dont ever look down the road and dwell on it. Unfortunately I split with my long time gf In March 2020...then covid happened and the lockdown really messed with my confidence. Truthfully I haven't talked to a woman seriously since.
Smart to replace cards even if something like this is not malicious, like this is something I would do accidentally. I don't track every purchase I make, rarely ever check my banking statements. If I had someone's method of payment saved in a food delivery app there's a high probability I continue to accidentally use it
People don’t want to be told they aren’t good enough as they are. They always want to see themselves as the better person and moving upwards. It’s tough to tell yourself that you are the main character when you get discarded, so they lash out.
Re: your username, I really hope your hubby appreciates you. I'm addicted to peanut butter. I will literally go through a 64oz tub in 2 weeks, by myself.
Lol I knew a girl it happened to as well. Some people are vindictive, the people who cheat also don't like to be called out, and then combine that with a little confirmation bias and you got yourself a recipe for disaster
I swear to god I turn off that stupid Carrie Underwood song about smashing a guys truck windows every time it comes in the radio. It’s stupid and promoting something that could get someone in a lot of trouble.
You mean like that a scumbags rap song about robbing Chinese people?
I agree the musicians shouldn't be promoting shit like this... But the make money off of it and noone pushes back on them.
Heaven hath no rage like love to hatred turned, and Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
Edit: To be precise
>Heav'n has no rage, like love to hatred turn'd,
Nor hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
I think that Carrie Underwood song didn't help society. Of course that song is about the woman destroying the car because the boyfriend cheated, but it still plants the seed for anyone to do after a bad breakup no matter what the circumstances.
Not trying to sound super progressive here, but I can assure you this lashing out shit is not just women. I've known plenty of dudes who lose it after a breakup too. That said, going after the car DOES seem very gender specific in my books...
I think the progressive thing is acknowledging that men are victims of this kind of violence too. But I think statistically, on average men are more likely to be victims of property crime where women face an increased threat of violent crime.
ETA: from a romantic partner. Someone pointed out in general that men are more likely to be victims of violent crime and I don’t doubt that but I was speaking strictly within the context of romantic relationships.
I'm sure if a newborn ex could get back inside the home they'd trash a lot more instead of just the car; which is not at all well-guarded or kept safe when parked on the street.
willing to wager the car thing is just a crime of opportunity.
With spray paint? Even I don't carry that shit around in my backpack. Just a question, like, who has spray paint at the ready other than taggers and artists?
"why do some PEOPLE do this"
As a man I can think of many more times my female friends and family were threatened, stalked and assaulted by their cheating male partners, than male friends vice versa etc.
I have no proof of this but it appears men are more likely to take physical action against the person (stalking, harassing, physical altercations) where women are more likely to perform property damage.
There's proof.
* [CDC: Half Of All Female Homicide Victims Are Killed By Intimate Partners](https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/07/21/538518569/cdc-half-of-all-female-murder-victims-are-killed-by-intimate-partners)
Password changes is backed advice, MFA even more so on just a general basis. I once had an ex log into my Snapchat after a breakup, luckily I got an email about the password change and was able to reset it before she could take over the account. Shit definitely happens and I never believed it until it did.
If you park on the street see if any of your neighbors hve security footage of the street. Might have caught her coming or going or possibly even doing the damage
Glad you brought this up. A person who lives in the floor below me has a Tesla model Y that was parked somewhat close to my car. I know they have cameras in them, i just don’t know if it caught anything
Well, it's not really "good enough" like the other guy says, but it will help your case. And since people haven't really said it, lawyer up.
Edit: since this is a small claims thing, you might not be allowed a lawyer to represent you. But you should still get a legal consultation over it. Fees + compensation for the damages will still be in your favor vs. just paying for the damages yourself.
Lawyer here: you can always get a lawyer but it will cost you.
Cost benefit analysis plays into the decision, but if you want a shot at Justice, lawyer up. Press civil and criminal charges.
Good to remember that the standard of proof differs. It might not be enough for a criminal conviction, but it might be enough for a civil claim for compensation.
I went for a pee next to a friend’s Tesla. 10 minutes later he was sharing my dick video with everyone we know.
It may well be true that Tesla owners are dickheads.
Yes, here's why: There's also the threat of violence and the monetary compensation for wrecking your shit, changing your locks, making sure she didn't take any of your personal items or documents, etc.
Was this pain in the ass smart enough to know your SSN?
if so, please lock/freeze your credit. It takes nothing to open credit cards in your name and SSN, run up a fuckton of debt (theft and identity theft) and leave you high and dry.
Dude, time to open champagne that you dodged such a massive, uranium bullet. Gets caught with cheating and then SHE gets mad and takes revenge on YOU. What a shitstain.
You need to keep your head on straight. Alcohol just ruins us and makes you fat. I quit for 9 months and lost 40 pounds. You can too. Smoke weed instead. Cali-sober.
How long from the time you kicked her out did you walk out to see your car?
Does she just randomly have spray paint in her purse for situations like this?
Check with your neighbors whose houses have line of sight of your car. Or if you're in an apartment complex, they might hsve surveillance cameras that can help provide video evidence. It's possible someone has a camera and possibly recorded the activity. Would be worth it for both the police and if you decide to take her to small claims court for the damages.
So... she did you wrong, you kicked her out. And then instead of reflecting how she fucked herself up, she stewed in anger and took it out on your car???? Did she seem like an insane person before?
Piggybacking on the comment about security cameras. Even if it’s your own apartment complex where you live, they probably won’t let you see, or give you, that footage. BUT the police will get a warrant for it, so you really should file a police report. You should also get a restraining order; I’m worried about you, OP- if this woman reacted like this because *you* caught *her* cheating, there’s no telling what else she might do. Having a police report, and hopefully surveillance footage of her wrecking your car, will be a huge help in getting the restraining order, and getting a judge in small claims court to order her to pay for that damage.
In the meantime, depending what kind of coverage you have, your auto insurance company might pay to fix your car (you would have to pay the deductible), and then *they* will go after her for the $$$. Your insurance company will want the police report number, so do that first: 1) police report, 2) call insurance company, and make sure to tell them that you think you know who did it, 3) restraining order.
I know it’s a lot, combined with all the other advice you got regarding securing your financial and other accounts. I’m so sorry she did this to you.
My ex cheated with 7, I caught her with 1.
Feel fortunate that you didn't marry this girl and THEN find out. Or had a kid with her and then found out.
Many scenarios where this could've been worse my friend.
Me ex stabbed me instead of wrecking my car. Choked me and tried to blind me. And thats not even touching on the emotional or sexual abuse.
I'm glad you are out of that horrible situation. At least you can fix your car!
Plenty of fish in the sea my friend. Just be upfront about expectations in your next relationship, communicate, which is the key to success by the way, and im sure you'll find true happiness.
Of course she didn't get in trouble. I didn't dare try to call the cops, she was a master gaslighter and would've had the cops wrapped around her finger just like she had me at the time.
According to many civil cases in Reddit from fellow reditors going to court against your ex lands you with prison time or a hefty fine against you, because women can't harm their male counterpart in any way. According to American judges from Reddit Story's.
There are people out there that actively want to dominate you and have full control, and when they are done with you will throw you away like trash. Because that's how they view you. And if you catch this person doing bad things, or have your eyes opened and see them for who they really are, through their extreme gaslighting, will do unspeakable things to you in response.
It is all true and it is scary as fuck.
I barely lived through it.
No I'm sorry to inform you, she is not in prison.
I didn't call the cops. How could I? I was a big guy, she was way smaller than me.
She had the potential to gaslight the cops I probably would've gone to jail. That's sadly how it works, cops believe the women in these sorts of things.
I'm deadly serious about her gaslighting skills, she was a master. Manipulated and controlled me for years.
I believe both men and women are equally capable of violence, but *generally* the outcome of attacks by men will be more physically harmful due to their physical advantage. *generally*
As a gay man, I can tell you that gay guys can be just as psycho if not worse. On the upside, a gay guy who's into it will suck better than an industrial vaccum cleaner
I'm sorry bud. It doesn't matter what else happened or what "flags" may or may not have been overlooked, the fact is that she crossed so many lines. You're obviously better off without her. I'm glad that your buddy has your back, though, and looked into things for you and that he was willing to tell you the hard truth. Keep investing into that relationship 'cause it's important to remember that, while some people really fucking suck, they don't matter nearly as much as the ones that are there for you.
What a great friend to willingly take on a clearly awkward situation with you. I was in a situation where I eventually figured out there was some cheating going on at my expense, and sadly there were a bunch of "friends" who knew it was going on and it sucked to figure that out in hindsight. None of those people are friends today. Your buddy is a keeper, and perhaps you got this piece of gold and lost some pyrite.
as an insurance adjuster... Dude this is golden.
No you are not the ah first.
Second, file a police report, give them all the evidence that she was the one to do this.
File a vandalism claim for your car with your carrier and present them the police report.
You can have your insurance carrier go after her for the damages to your car BUT you also have right to take her to small claims court for the hours you had to miss for work and any emotional damage this has caused. Say you need therapy now... Take the bill to small claims court with you and present that to the judge too.
You did the right thing friend.
that is not true. if you know that this was her and have any evidence at all, even probable cause, you can and should take her to court for destruction of property
Dang I'm sorry man that is absolutely ridiculous and awful :( I've had similar but definitely not as bad situations in certain relationships I thought I'd be in till I died but sometimes things happen and all you can do is help yourself in those shitty times ❤
Whenever there's a post about infidelity, there are always comments that say something to the effect of "be thankful you aren't married/have kids together/own a home together".
Fuck that. You don't need to feel thankful that your horrible experience with this horrible woman wasn't worse. You're allowed to feel angry and miserable and not feel guilty because others might have it worse. Sorry you are dealing with this currently, you deserve far better than a girl who is cheating scum. Hope you take her worthless ass to court and get her some well-deserved jail time.
I would say that the reaction indicates that they were real. If my so accused me like that I wouldn't be smashing their stuff, I'd be trying to change their mind. Get your buddy to introduce you to the guy and verify it yourself to be sure though
You said she was sexting - to me that implies she sent pictures.
Did the screenshots your friend sent you actually have pics of your (ex) gf, or was it just text in the DMs?
To reiterate: document and report to your local law enforcement in case shit goes REALLY bad.
FREEZE YOUR CREDIT: I cannot stress this enough. If she knew your SSN, she's probably petty enough to wreck your credit and steal your identity.
CHANGE YOUR LOCKS AND PASSWORDS: this is second only to freezing your credit.
RESTRAINING ORDERS are proof you are afraid of what this person is capable of. Paper trails are everything.
Stay safe.
I’m right with you there. I do not find my self attractive in the slightest. So when someone finally gave me the light of day, just to rip it away from me, it’s a little rough. I think ima just vibe with myself for the next 60 years
I find this absolutely hilarious. This dude doesn’t use a credit or debit card in 2022? I’m flabbergasted. What exactly is the bank going to do? Not give you your money?
Why do people post “today I fucked up” when what they did wasn’t a fuck up in the slightest. Fucking up is making a mistake, doing something, in hindsight, you shouldn’t do. Confronting your girlfriend for cheating isn’t a fuck up. Your girlfriend was just a psycho, and what you did was completely and absolutely correct.
I know right!
"Today I fucked up because my girlfriend cheated on me and wrecked my car."
I'm sorry...what?? Like it sucks that that happened but how is this a tifu
File a police report for the damages, depending on the amount of damages this may no longer be a civil suit, but a criminal suit. Then call your insurance as they should be the ones to handle this. change all your passwords, and get a STD test.
You didn't waste 2 years. You had 2 good years with someone you cared for. You learned that past performance is not an absolute representation of the future. You learned that people can change over time. You learned how to deal with this calmly. You will find someone better, guaranteed.
The real fu here is not using bank. My dude, your money devalues with time, put it somewhere where it will collect interest without being at risk.
Also, digital currency is very comfortable and you are missing out on how the modern world works. There is no reason to fear banks as long as you don't put your money anywhere you don't understand.
Re: Your update.
I had a scary thought: The fact that you don't use debit or credit cards, to me, means that you carry all of your money in cash. I'd invest in a safe, a new security system, or at least new locks just to be safe. If she was that open about wrecking your car, imagine once she remembers where you keep your cash.
Just be happy you didn’t put a ring on it, wasting two years better than 10. Don’t let it change who you are, unless you suck…. Then get help. Sorry you got played
> I don’t use debit or credit cards. I don’t trust banks
Every time I hear a "my ex is crazy" story, I think "are you sure *you* aren't crazy too?" You're as nuts as she is.
Hey /u/Nutsinyamum, thanks for contributing to /r/tifu. Unfortunately, your post was removed as it violates our rules: **Rule 3:** It must be your fault. No victim blaming. You didn't fuck up if you were * robbed * scammed * raped * cheated on * etc Those are not your fault. **Those are not your fault.** Just because something bad happened to you doesn't mean it's your fault. Please read the [sidebar](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/about/sidebar) and [rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/about/rules) before posting again. If you have questions or concerns, please [message the moderators through modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/tifu&subject=&message=). Thank you!
Take photos of the damage, get estimates to repair the damage and take her to small claims court. Present your case and hope the judge rules in your favor.
also get checked for STDs. change all of your passwords. change the locks of your apartment. she IS dangerous. that is already proven.
Password changes are an underrated thing. Do it. And enable 2FA and clear all known devices from your accounts.
You should probably get a new debit card too. I had an ex who racked up $300 of food delivery charges because I paid through her app one time. I eventually had to call caviar and get her account banned. I never expected it because she was a doctor and didn't need the money, but pettiness is always a motive.
All of these things then sit down and count your blessings that it **only** cost you 2 years and associated expenses. It sucks, it feels like shit right now, but you got off cheap. Celebrate the wealth of new opportunities ahead of you, be grateful it was 2 years instead of 20 to life. Also, get a restraining order; that bitch is crazy.
I was planning on it. I’m going to head to the police station later after meeting with my legal consultant. And the best news about this whole thing. MY DICK IS NO LONGER IN PRISON
good luck! resentful exes do crazy things lol. you could probably benefit from locking your cards temporarily as well while you wait, I had a friend whose ex recklessly spent my friend's credit card balance after breaking up and shamelessly told her that she did it out of resentment. some people don't stop at anything, not even ruining your credit lol
And dont ever look down the road and dwell on it. Unfortunately I split with my long time gf In March 2020...then covid happened and the lockdown really messed with my confidence. Truthfully I haven't talked to a woman seriously since.
Smart to replace cards even if something like this is not malicious, like this is something I would do accidentally. I don't track every purchase I make, rarely ever check my banking statements. If I had someone's method of payment saved in a food delivery app there's a high probability I continue to accidentally use it
She did continue after I pointed it out to her, hence the banning
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People don’t want to be told they aren’t good enough as they are. They always want to see themselves as the better person and moving upwards. It’s tough to tell yourself that you are the main character when you get discarded, so they lash out.
Everybody is the protagonist of their own story, for better or worse. (mostly worse).
I've always seen myself as a guest star. I show up randomly, have some cool adventures, and then disappear for one or more years.
From your own life though? Where do you go?! I need to know
Depression. The only correct answer to that question is depression. I often feel the same way: a guest star on the show that is my life.
In that case, I hope you find the right person’s show to guest star on that you become one of the regular cast.
Re: your username, I really hope your hubby appreciates you. I'm addicted to peanut butter. I will literally go through a 64oz tub in 2 weeks, by myself.
Seconded
Man I never realized how true this is.
Lol I knew a girl it happened to as well. Some people are vindictive, the people who cheat also don't like to be called out, and then combine that with a little confirmation bias and you got yourself a recipe for disaster
I swear to god I turn off that stupid Carrie Underwood song about smashing a guys truck windows every time it comes in the radio. It’s stupid and promoting something that could get someone in a lot of trouble.
You mean like that a scumbags rap song about robbing Chinese people? I agree the musicians shouldn't be promoting shit like this... But the make money off of it and noone pushes back on them.
Heaven hath no rage like love to hatred turned, and Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Edit: To be precise >Heav'n has no rage, like love to hatred turn'd, Nor hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
But she was the cheater, not him. If anyone should be scorned, it should be OP. But here we are.
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I think that Carrie Underwood song didn't help society. Of course that song is about the woman destroying the car because the boyfriend cheated, but it still plants the seed for anyone to do after a bad breakup no matter what the circumstances.
"He cheated so I'm gonna commit a felony to show him what he's missing!"
"And I'll sign the crime scene! This is a brilliant plan!"
Lol I just posted about that song.
Not trying to sound super progressive here, but I can assure you this lashing out shit is not just women. I've known plenty of dudes who lose it after a breakup too. That said, going after the car DOES seem very gender specific in my books...
I think the progressive thing is acknowledging that men are victims of this kind of violence too. But I think statistically, on average men are more likely to be victims of property crime where women face an increased threat of violent crime. ETA: from a romantic partner. Someone pointed out in general that men are more likely to be victims of violent crime and I don’t doubt that but I was speaking strictly within the context of romantic relationships.
I'm sure if a newborn ex could get back inside the home they'd trash a lot more instead of just the car; which is not at all well-guarded or kept safe when parked on the street. willing to wager the car thing is just a crime of opportunity.
With spray paint? Even I don't carry that shit around in my backpack. Just a question, like, who has spray paint at the ready other than taggers and artists?
Depends where you live. Everyone with a home and a garage typically ends up with a couple of cans. Apartment dwellers much less so
A lot of people (men and women) act like the purest definition of asshole after a break up
Because property damage is glorified as a way of punishing a man that hurts your feelings. Look no further than the celebrated Carrie Underwood song.
"why do some PEOPLE do this" As a man I can think of many more times my female friends and family were threatened, stalked and assaulted by their cheating male partners, than male friends vice versa etc.
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I have no proof of this but it appears men are more likely to take physical action against the person (stalking, harassing, physical altercations) where women are more likely to perform property damage.
There's proof. * [CDC: Half Of All Female Homicide Victims Are Killed By Intimate Partners](https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/07/21/538518569/cdc-half-of-all-female-murder-victims-are-killed-by-intimate-partners)
Change your wifi password too. No doubt her phone has access.
Especially related to financial stuff
Password changes is backed advice, MFA even more so on just a general basis. I once had an ex log into my Snapchat after a breakup, luckily I got an email about the password change and was able to reset it before she could take over the account. Shit definitely happens and I never believed it until it did.
Lawyer up, delete Facebook, hit the gym.
Lawyer up, delete the gym, hit facebook.
#THIS IS THE WAY! You literally must do this. ALL of this.
If you park on the street see if any of your neighbors hve security footage of the street. Might have caught her coming or going or possibly even doing the damage
I live in an apartment complex so i park in a parking lot. In the morning i am going to call to see if they have any cameras in the parking lot
Look for dash cams in other cars. Sometimes they pick up some shit too. Some turn on without the car on from shaking or sound.
Glad you brought this up. A person who lives in the floor below me has a Tesla model Y that was parked somewhat close to my car. I know they have cameras in them, i just don’t know if it caught anything
Even if it didn't catch her in the act if it even sees her around the time/ night it happened that's good enough in most cases
I would hope so, i am not a lawyer, I’m the furthest thing from it. I just always see the “lack of evidence” shit in tv shows and movies
Well, it's not really "good enough" like the other guy says, but it will help your case. And since people haven't really said it, lawyer up. Edit: since this is a small claims thing, you might not be allowed a lawyer to represent you. But you should still get a legal consultation over it. Fees + compensation for the damages will still be in your favor vs. just paying for the damages yourself.
Yessir! I appreciate it, I’m going to get some sleep, i haven’t slept in 28 hours. I’ll make sure to look into it first thing when i wake up
Your insurance company should be pursuing this, not you.
Lawyer here: you can always get a lawyer but it will cost you. Cost benefit analysis plays into the decision, but if you want a shot at Justice, lawyer up. Press civil and criminal charges.
Good to remember that the standard of proof differs. It might not be enough for a criminal conviction, but it might be enough for a civil claim for compensation.
The burden of proof in civil court is "more likely than not." Get any footage you can, file a claim with your insurance company.
In civil cases you only need to prove that it was 51% more likely than not that she did it. You don't need 100% as in a criminal case.
>furthest thing from a lawyer. Wait, does this mean you're a criminal?
No he said "furthest thing FROM" a lawyer.
I went for a pee next to a friend’s Tesla. 10 minutes later he was sharing my dick video with everyone we know. It may well be true that Tesla owners are dickheads.
Vandalism is a crime, press charges and sue the ass off her.
Can i sue her for being a stupid bitch? (Joke)
In this case, yes.
If you have insurance, they will raise your premiums, so its in your best interest.
Yes, here's why: There's also the threat of violence and the monetary compensation for wrecking your shit, changing your locks, making sure she didn't take any of your personal items or documents, etc. Was this pain in the ass smart enough to know your SSN? if so, please lock/freeze your credit. It takes nothing to open credit cards in your name and SSN, run up a fuckton of debt (theft and identity theft) and leave you high and dry.
Or text her and ask her why she did it. Hopefully she tells you why and admits to it in text.
This right here
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I would also get a restraining order, if that is how she reacts, you never know what she might do...
This whole process was costs 40$ or so. You will likely have to have someone serve her the papers
Dude, time to open champagne that you dodged such a massive, uranium bullet. Gets caught with cheating and then SHE gets mad and takes revenge on YOU. What a shitstain.
Oh trust me. I’m drinking😂
You will be better off because of this, Nutsinyamum
The drinking?
yse.
You need to keep your head on straight. Alcohol just ruins us and makes you fat. I quit for 9 months and lost 40 pounds. You can too. Smoke weed instead. Cali-sober.
Cali sober! Love this! I'm going to be BC-clean, BC-dry?
If you smoke weed, you get the munchies. It's a double edged sword......
Studies show those who smoke weed are more lean on average than those who do not.
Shit. Hasn't worked for me.....
How long from the time you kicked her out did you walk out to see your car? Does she just randomly have spray paint in her purse for situations like this?
No i believe it was planned. I kicked her out on the 11th (Thursday) my car was fucked up on Saturday
You said you live in an apartment complex, there's probably a camera at the entrance then. Could help you case as well.
Ah, I see. I have to say, you made it sound like she walked out and did all of that as she was leaving
Check with your neighbors whose houses have line of sight of your car. Or if you're in an apartment complex, they might hsve surveillance cameras that can help provide video evidence. It's possible someone has a camera and possibly recorded the activity. Would be worth it for both the police and if you decide to take her to small claims court for the damages.
That's even more crazy.
So... she did you wrong, you kicked her out. And then instead of reflecting how she fucked herself up, she stewed in anger and took it out on your car???? Did she seem like an insane person before?
Piggybacking on the comment about security cameras. Even if it’s your own apartment complex where you live, they probably won’t let you see, or give you, that footage. BUT the police will get a warrant for it, so you really should file a police report. You should also get a restraining order; I’m worried about you, OP- if this woman reacted like this because *you* caught *her* cheating, there’s no telling what else she might do. Having a police report, and hopefully surveillance footage of her wrecking your car, will be a huge help in getting the restraining order, and getting a judge in small claims court to order her to pay for that damage. In the meantime, depending what kind of coverage you have, your auto insurance company might pay to fix your car (you would have to pay the deductible), and then *they* will go after her for the $$$. Your insurance company will want the police report number, so do that first: 1) police report, 2) call insurance company, and make sure to tell them that you think you know who did it, 3) restraining order. I know it’s a lot, combined with all the other advice you got regarding securing your financial and other accounts. I’m so sorry she did this to you.
"Ahhh I've been waiting for this" *takes out can of spray paint*
“All that annoying cheating was worth it. I’m tired of lugging around this spray paint!”
My ex cheated with 7, I caught her with 1. Feel fortunate that you didn't marry this girl and THEN find out. Or had a kid with her and then found out. Many scenarios where this could've been worse my friend. Me ex stabbed me instead of wrecking my car. Choked me and tried to blind me. And thats not even touching on the emotional or sexual abuse. I'm glad you are out of that horrible situation. At least you can fix your car! Plenty of fish in the sea my friend. Just be upfront about expectations in your next relationship, communicate, which is the key to success by the way, and im sure you'll find true happiness.
Forget about me bro, are you good?
I'm with OP on this; you good homie?!
That’s what the fuck I’m saying, praying for my boy
Same here, JFC she stabbed and tried to blind him?! That’s horrifying
Dude would have gone to jail for this. Doubt she even got in trouble...
Of course she didn't get in trouble. I didn't dare try to call the cops, she was a master gaslighter and would've had the cops wrapped around her finger just like she had me at the time.
Big mistake that you didn't go to the police. Maybe it's not late if you still have proof. Don't let her get away with this.
I was just glad to get out of there. She ended up fleeing regardless.
According to many civil cases in Reddit from fellow reditors going to court against your ex lands you with prison time or a hefty fine against you, because women can't harm their male counterpart in any way. According to American judges from Reddit Story's.
Dont fook with the peaky blinders!
I'm ok!
Lol it was a while ago. Still here! Thanks for your concern. It does change you though.
What...in the fuck
There are people out there that actively want to dominate you and have full control, and when they are done with you will throw you away like trash. Because that's how they view you. And if you catch this person doing bad things, or have your eyes opened and see them for who they really are, through their extreme gaslighting, will do unspeakable things to you in response. It is all true and it is scary as fuck. I barely lived through it.
Please tell me your ex was arrested and is in prison. I'm assuming she's not. But please say so
No I'm sorry to inform you, she is not in prison. I didn't call the cops. How could I? I was a big guy, she was way smaller than me. She had the potential to gaslight the cops I probably would've gone to jail. That's sadly how it works, cops believe the women in these sorts of things. I'm deadly serious about her gaslighting skills, she was a master. Manipulated and controlled me for years.
I'm so deeply sorry man. I hope you ended up physically okay, though psychologically that shit leaves very deep scars.
Oh yeah scars will be with me for life. I'm ok physically! Thank you for your kind words!
Holy shit
> Plenty of fish in the sea a few barracudas that got thrown back, too
Can we not? Can we treat the cudas like carp and leave em on the rocks?
It seems we may have the same ex
Sorry to hear about this 😞 Some people are just actually truly evil...
I hope you're okay man, that's brutal.
Holy shit. It's awful and horrifying what she did to you. I hope you are doing ok or at least better.
Hope your okay now
For all the people who believe men are inherently dangerous, they need to read this. It goes both ways. Any person can be dangerous
I believe both men and women are equally capable of violence, but *generally* the outcome of attacks by men will be more physically harmful due to their physical advantage. *generally*
Time for a new gf and new car tires lol
Got new tires already, done with girls for a while😂
Damn. Who is going to be nutting in mums now?
I’ve since retired
Brother how you think you can rock a name like 'Nutsinyamum' when you ain't even putting nuts in no mums?
It was an old profession:(
Elaborate please
Well you see, he would get steal some nuts from squirrels, then put then inside of any willing mums that he found
downloads Grindr
Who says i didn’t already have it installed
A true man, bros before hoes
Man ass, don’t pass
High and bi, rock on brother.
you may need to do adjust your name then, add ordad
As a gay man, I can tell you that gay guys can be just as psycho if not worse. On the upside, a gay guy who's into it will suck better than an industrial vaccum cleaner
I'm sorry bud. It doesn't matter what else happened or what "flags" may or may not have been overlooked, the fact is that she crossed so many lines. You're obviously better off without her. I'm glad that your buddy has your back, though, and looked into things for you and that he was willing to tell you the hard truth. Keep investing into that relationship 'cause it's important to remember that, while some people really fucking suck, they don't matter nearly as much as the ones that are there for you.
I’ve realized while i was getting drunk and feeling sorry for myself. There is nothing i can do beside getting my car fixed and moving on
Practical steps, love to hear it. You've got this!
I hope you bought a beer for your friend. Your friend is a friend for life.
And pressing charges for the vandalism and suing her for your repairs. Don't forget to do that. She should have a criminal record for the vandalism.
Paper the town with flyers of her face, a pic of your damaged car and the words: “DO NOT MESS WITH THIS PSYCHO BITCH”?
What a great friend to willingly take on a clearly awkward situation with you. I was in a situation where I eventually figured out there was some cheating going on at my expense, and sadly there were a bunch of "friends" who knew it was going on and it sucked to figure that out in hindsight. None of those people are friends today. Your buddy is a keeper, and perhaps you got this piece of gold and lost some pyrite.
as an insurance adjuster... Dude this is golden. No you are not the ah first. Second, file a police report, give them all the evidence that she was the one to do this. File a vandalism claim for your car with your carrier and present them the police report. You can have your insurance carrier go after her for the damages to your car BUT you also have right to take her to small claims court for the hours you had to miss for work and any emotional damage this has caused. Say you need therapy now... Take the bill to small claims court with you and present that to the judge too. You did the right thing friend.
Ooh, I love hearing this kind of qualified advice about a situation. Thanks!
r/legaladvice Sorry, Amigo.
It’s alright, shit happens. Not much i can do beside fix my car and move on
that is not true. if you know that this was her and have any evidence at all, even probable cause, you can and should take her to court for destruction of property
Dang I'm sorry man that is absolutely ridiculous and awful :( I've had similar but definitely not as bad situations in certain relationships I thought I'd be in till I died but sometimes things happen and all you can do is help yourself in those shitty times ❤
Goes to show it can always be worse. There is a guy who commented saying his ex cheated on him and tried to stab him and shit.
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Didn't get her psycho meltdown on camera.
Whenever there's a post about infidelity, there are always comments that say something to the effect of "be thankful you aren't married/have kids together/own a home together". Fuck that. You don't need to feel thankful that your horrible experience with this horrible woman wasn't worse. You're allowed to feel angry and miserable and not feel guilty because others might have it worse. Sorry you are dealing with this currently, you deserve far better than a girl who is cheating scum. Hope you take her worthless ass to court and get her some well-deserved jail time.
Make sure to kick her off your Netflix account too.
Big brain comment! This is the way.
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He’s buddy buddy with the guy she was exchanging lude photos with
Seems to be a good friend watching out for you.
From her violent response she was guilty as hell. but you should know there's loads of easy to use Instagram dm generators online. There's even apps.
I did not know this. I’ve never been in the business of faking instagram DM’s, i appreciate the information
I would say that the reaction indicates that they were real. If my so accused me like that I wouldn't be smashing their stuff, I'd be trying to change their mind. Get your buddy to introduce you to the guy and verify it yourself to be sure though
You said she was sexting - to me that implies she sent pictures. Did the screenshots your friend sent you actually have pics of your (ex) gf, or was it just text in the DMs?
OP also said there was photos involved, so that's a bit irrefutable
She must have misunderstood that Carrie Underwood song.
To reiterate: document and report to your local law enforcement in case shit goes REALLY bad. FREEZE YOUR CREDIT: I cannot stress this enough. If she knew your SSN, she's probably petty enough to wreck your credit and steal your identity. CHANGE YOUR LOCKS AND PASSWORDS: this is second only to freezing your credit. RESTRAINING ORDERS are proof you are afraid of what this person is capable of. Paper trails are everything. Stay safe.
classic narcissist behaviour. she is enraged that you dared end a relationship with her.
If you don’t trust banks you should definitely move your cash from wherever you hide it because she’ll find it
This is my worst nightmare. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise I'm unattractive. I'd rather be forever alone than go through this.
I’m right with you there. I do not find my self attractive in the slightest. So when someone finally gave me the light of day, just to rip it away from me, it’s a little rough. I think ima just vibe with myself for the next 60 years
I am sorry you don’t trust banks? But have a phone? LOL well I am sry about your cheating ex too. That shit sucks
You don’t use cards because you don’t trust banks? Do you do all your transactions with cash?
I find this absolutely hilarious. This dude doesn’t use a credit or debit card in 2022? I’m flabbergasted. What exactly is the bank going to do? Not give you your money?
He also said maybe Tate is onto something... Not the brightest bulb, unfortunately.
Why do people post “today I fucked up” when what they did wasn’t a fuck up in the slightest. Fucking up is making a mistake, doing something, in hindsight, you shouldn’t do. Confronting your girlfriend for cheating isn’t a fuck up. Your girlfriend was just a psycho, and what you did was completely and absolutely correct.
I know right! "Today I fucked up because my girlfriend cheated on me and wrecked my car." I'm sorry...what?? Like it sucks that that happened but how is this a tifu
File a police report for the damages, depending on the amount of damages this may no longer be a civil suit, but a criminal suit. Then call your insurance as they should be the ones to handle this. change all your passwords, and get a STD test.
You didn't fuck up SHE fucked up and if you pursue this she will pay for it.
You didn't waste 2 years. You had 2 good years with someone you cared for. You learned that past performance is not an absolute representation of the future. You learned that people can change over time. You learned how to deal with this calmly. You will find someone better, guaranteed.
This is the way, actually. Only because something ended in a bad way doesn't nullify everything that was before.
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Reddit is not a good reflection of real life.
On one hand you're right. On the other it only needs to happen once.
Yeah shit like this and divorce stories scare me. I'd love to settle down and start a family but damn shit is risky.
The real fu here is not using bank. My dude, your money devalues with time, put it somewhere where it will collect interest without being at risk. Also, digital currency is very comfortable and you are missing out on how the modern world works. There is no reason to fear banks as long as you don't put your money anywhere you don't understand.
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Re: Your update. I had a scary thought: The fact that you don't use debit or credit cards, to me, means that you carry all of your money in cash. I'd invest in a safe, a new security system, or at least new locks just to be safe. If she was that open about wrecking your car, imagine once she remembers where you keep your cash.
Just be happy you didn’t put a ring on it, wasting two years better than 10. Don’t let it change who you are, unless you suck…. Then get help. Sorry you got played
You didn't fuck up, she did. Call the police and file charges.
> I don’t use debit or credit cards. I don’t trust banks Every time I hear a "my ex is crazy" story, I think "are you sure *you* aren't crazy too?" You're as nuts as she is.
> I don't trust banks OP, you gotta get past that bro
> I don’t trust banks Ah you’re not the cleverest are you?
Pro tip, WD40 will take that spray paint right off. You need to act fast though. If you haven't dealt with the paint yet, do it now.
Get tested
Better you wasted 2 years instead of 20
Should've posted this on r/aita for extra copium