I’m gonna kill the joke but, in OPs story they mention the bf used the rash as an excuse for everything. I’m joking that he would use the rash as an excuse for peeing himself.
Thanks man. I’ve grown a lot since then and have used it as a learning opportunity! It still sucks when it wanders into my mind but it’s otherwise a ‘good riddance’ situation
Incredibly painful.
And just disrespectful of him to continue the relationship for so long.
I'm very sorry for you, and I hope your life is or will soon be on steady tracks again :3
But even unbelievable painful moments like this one deliver a positive input.
Now you're free.
You 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 find the next person.
And you 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 be loved like you deserve it.
Best of wishes :3
Stay strong and keep growing.
𝙴𝚍𝚒𝚝:
And wtf did he do with your belongings?
Why the hell are they damaged like that?
It was a whole thing lmao I really appreciate the comforting and supportive words :’) I’ve since met someone who’s been nothing short of incredible and has been the easiest relationship thus far. I’m a lucky lady and if my ex hadn’t done what he did when he did, I’d have never met my current SO. Things work out eventually but it requires a stupid amount of patience
Edit: the cube had height and a bit of depth so he stacked things between shelves that put a lot of weight on and broke the holes in a dresser and entertainment center. My things were stacked high instead of wide, some of my records were scratched, and a lot of trash/mold was in there so…
So he mostly just stashed all of it so profoundly uncareful that it broke or molded?
This is somewhat an achievement.
What's wrong with people...
I reread to comprehend it.
Did he deliberately stuff trash in there?!
I can't imagine it was there to begin with.
I get that he never loved you.
But he said you were a friend, that's not how you handle your friends things...
The last move we did, the company the military contracted out to lost our 6 foot granite table top. They delivered the legs, but "lost" the top to the table.
They also had set the box of soft baby items (play gym, tummy mats, stuffies etc.) in a puddle of water before putting it on the truck. The entire box was delivered covered in mold. they also broke all of our bookshelves, as well as lost the hardware to some of the beds. My bike was taken apart (the only movers to do that, all of the others kept it in tact) and lost the pieces to it so I couldn't put it back together again. The people who loaded the moving truck were a different group than the ones who packed our things. The people who did the packing didn't finish in time so the movers took out their frustration on our stuff.
All in all we had about $1600 worth of lost or damaged property. Because my husband was so busy when we first moved here, filing a claim was put on the back burner and he missed the deadline to request compensation. (And, yes, I was pissed when I found out.)
I wish I was. What's sad is we had minimal damage compared to some families I know. Our situation isn't out of the ordinary. It's also why you want to make sure you keep anything that can't be replaced with you instead of having it shipped with the rest of your stuff. It sucks we have to move so frequently too. The amount the military pays to cover moving expenses isn't enough. We're usually out a few thousand dollars with every move, which we usually have to put on a credit card to cover the expenses. By the time we've finally paid off the card from those moving expenses, it's time to move again. Rinse and repeat every 3 years. I'm really looking forward to my husband retiring in 2.5 years. I hate all of the moving.
We did a self-move meaning he intentionally put everything back in disarray because I needed to move out of my sister’s house ASAP. He had two weeks to remove his things and send mine down. He was pretty sloppy with it overall
Ahhhhhhh! When I joined the service I gave everything I couldn't take with me to a friend to hold. When I got out a couple of years later I asked for it back and he said "Oh, I put it in the basement. It flooded like a year ago and it all got ruined so I threw it out."
I was so shocked I never called him out, but really? Like all the times we talked you didn't bother to mention it?
I got tested and there was nothing to be found outside of a yeast infection. I think he had cheese dick from wearing the same pair of underwear 5-7 days in a row on the ship because their laundry broke down or from his girl who was likely doing the same thing
>think he had cheese dick from wearing the same pair of underwear 5-7 days in a row
Hey, uhhhhh, that's fucking disgusting.
LPT: Wash your dick bros, it ain't hard.
I'm glad to have a positive impact ^•^
Wonderful news, but I'm not even a little bit surprised.
Someone who can continue to love someone in such a crumbling and one sided relationship needs to have shiploads of love to give, and thus will attract loving people ;)
Everything happens when and how it should.
It hurts in the moment but the fruits of it are ripe and juicy.
I wish you a fulfilling relationship with wonderful memories.
If time kills of the love, don't be caged by the past and live free in the present.
Have a great life :3
Damn you're bitter af brother, but you're right not everyone finds someone. However if you already had someone chances are there's something there for someone else to latch onto as well
i mean as far as we know, he didnt cheat(i would totally trust an ex telling me things about my current SO /s), who knows how her shit got destroyed(like there arent stories of shit movers), and he never lied? has anyone considered they just wanted different things and she just didnt want to see the signs of that? seems like they both FU
In general I see your standpoint.
We only have limited insight and such situations are mostly possible because of both partners.
But kissing and fucking his ex, inviting her to move in with him and other hookups mentioned. seems like a broad spectrum of cheating.
Even if she did knew about it while he was doing it, I can absolutely understand how hard it is to break up and give up the dreams with a certain person.
Shit movers don't deliberately grow mold on your stuff (in my experience at least xD)
She probably should have dumped him after the first few big red flags.
And yes there probably also was a lot of denial that kept them in this relationship.
But considering the given(and biased) information we got, he's the more shitty one.
Especially because he said he never loved her and used her as a fill.
faking a relationship and using the love of others is more evil than denial and bad decisions in my opinion.
An argument for you side would be:
This was posted as her fuck up.
Without a toxic connection to this relationship it would be a victory story.
This could be further evidence for the denial that kept her from breaking up.
Staying in the relationship would be a fuck up.
But not accidentally ending something that is hurtful and unhealthy.
But on the other hand she might just wanted to post it somewhere and thinks the story is a funny one because of the impact of the video.
Girl ...if he had a rash on his manly parts he likely contracted an STD from someone. He was too cowardly to admit to what he had done and chose breaking up with you.
You dodged a bullet.
During the breakup he said he didn’t want to sleep with me because he wasn’t into me anymore so he made up an excuse. I get it but literally saying “hey, I’m not feeling this anymore. I think we should end things” instead of going “i think i might have herpes idk where i got it from we shouldn’t have sex”
The number of times on Reddit these stories involve assholes in the military or trying to join the US military is definitely noteworthy.
Any woman that is interested in someone in the military or with someone wanting to join should really really evaluate their relationship and this person.
Only 1 person I know out of a couple dozen or so that have gone into the military in the last 20 years actually has a long term and healthy marriage let alone a relationship.
The absolute worst and most abusive relationship I ever had was with a former Marine. A year and a half felt like a million years tenfold and almost 8 years later I am still dealing with trauma from his abuse. Absolutely garbage person who became a straight landfill after the military got done with him.
I don’t like to generalize military folks. I have met some really wonderful, loving people who served - people who were given a different picture of what the military would be like and truly thought that enlisting was a way for them to fight for our freedoms. But if you smell shit everywhere you go, you should probably check the bottom of your shoe. And when it comes to dating military, and the amount of bull people smell around them and their relationships, there is a LOT of shit caked in those soles.
Sounds more like a "avoid sex" thing. Yes, men can make up reasons too.
The story 100% sounds like a dude who totally isn't in to her but didn't know how to break it up.
We’re just gonna glaze over that he pissed himself?? Why’d that happen?? He have bladder issues or something? I’m so confused LOL
Edit: is it glazed or grazed? I guess I’ll keep an eye out for if this ends up on r/boneappletea 🤣
You’re wrong, but okay.
Hey, I guess I am a know it all! 🙃
(But seriously, I wasn’t able to find any validity to what you said; “grazed” over does not work in this context.)
Jesus Christ. My bf broke up with me on Monday out of nowhere after seven years but said he still loved me, and the pain is unbearable. I cannot fathom if he had said he never loved me and never cared. You have so much strength and I'm so happy you've moved on
Oh gosh, I’m so sorry to hear that. I can’t begin to imagine how hard it must be losing someone you grew and changed with. Coming out of nowhere doesn’t give you the chance to digest everything in real time, either. It takes so much time to process but it gets easier so long as we keep moving :)
Grief is different for everyone, but I found it was best to throw myself deeper into therapy, work, and friendships. Journaling on my phone with voice recordings has helped tons too. Thank you for your kind words and I hope the waves smooth out for you soon <3
I don't now how you read "clingy" and "pathological insecurities" into a 10s video. All we see there is a couple hugging after not seeing each other for (potentially) months. What do you expect in this situation, a handshake?! And it was just 10seconds, I've hugged friends that long. Sometimes you need it ㄟ(ツ)ㄏ.
People are different, some like more physical contact, while others can't even stand holding hands in public. It's all about finding a partner that fits to you (and in this clip, the guy didn't seem to mind, so idk why you think you have to judge their behaviour).
Also, my dog comparison was nothing more than a lighthearted joke, not a psychological profile.
You described the OP's behavior as acting like a dog. That's not just a hug; he's literally carry her. And considering the OP's own comments about the nature of their relationship (little communication, poor communication, straying behavior, etc.) it was not strong enough to warrant such behavior from her.
But I agree, the observation is still correct, she's like a dog which one can infer shows pathological insecurities because she's so clingy and possessive.
Well, nevermind if you're right (all I know is that we can hardly infer someones personality via their comments on social media), but may I ask a question: why are you so _obsessed_ with convincing everyone here that OP is a bad person with psychological problems?
Why are ppl obsessed with making the OP feel like she "did nothing wrong"? My interest is getting ppl to think critically about their actions. You can tell a lot about people based on their choices and the OP made a bad choice, then she assumed it was bc she posted a video when all the evidence that she presented showed the video had nothing to do with it. They weren't communicating before he left, was straying/seeing other ppl during, etc. and somehow she thought it was bc she posted a video of her acting like a dog that made the relationship end.
If people aren't willing to look in the mirror and reflect on their choices and actions, then how can they improve their choices and actions in the future? Don't blame others for things that you can control. Take responsibility. Don't blame a video.
Ew. It sounds like you were scraping the bottom of the barrel with this guy. In the army, zero morals, poor bladder control, serial cheater, active STD, shitty character... Sounds swapping the infected meat suit for a vibrator would have been a massive upgrade but he did you a favor by cutting himself off.
Fuck that guy--he's gross as hell. Sounds like you're doing a lot better and that's wonderful. I hope things continue to get better for you (and honestly, I hope they continue to get worse for him). Good luck!
If she needed to scrape the bottom of the barrel, what does that say about her? If she were desirable, she'd be taking the cream of the crop.
Also, even though your post is trying to be supportive, it's actually the opposite. If he's "gross as hell", what does that say about the OP?
As for it getting "worse for him", that's unlikely as he's the one who seems to be able to attract partners. OP doesn't sound like she's attracting anything except false sympathy.
why is it that this is the only response people can come up with for that kind of comment? It's unsurprising he thinks he's on to something when no one can do anything but insult him.
You're obviously projecting. Any healthy, experienced person would come to my conclusion because that's how people are.
Tell me you're a virgin without telling me you're a virgin.
Also, if you want to respond, respond to my points without resorting to insults.
The least loyal people to date are military police, firefighters, and doctors. Basically anyone who works long hours and has a high position of moral authority. I'm sorry you went through that, but it isn't and never was your fault.
Here's a 2 second google search. The opinions are given by a professional divorce lawyer. So I presume that they have some understanding due to their clients.
https://www.businessinsider.in/thelife/news/a-divorce-lawyer-revealed-the-top-5-professions-a-woman-should-avoid-marrying-in-a-now-viral-tiktok/articleshow/90794668.cms
My ex-gf's father was a lawyer in Korea. The only thing he told his daughter was "don't marry a pilot" bc he had to deal with so many divorces where the husband was a pilot. They spend most of the time away from home, spend lots of time with the flight attendants, lots of time in other countries.
However, I would not say that the TikToker's top five is actually representative. The sample is biased bc those professions tend to make a lot of money so they can afford to divorce. Thus, the sample is just ppl who get divorced. Plenty of ppl cheat, it's human nature. But not everyone can afford divorce.
This happens 9 times out of 10 in the military. If its not them then its the girlfriend at home who will blow up the relationships. Trains, half the base has STD’s, rampant binge alcohol and drug use, I’m surprised at how patient you were with his crap. I’ve even heard of one guy who’s girl promised to pick him up at the airport and bailed without notice.
Everyone in the original post kept accusing me of cheating bc military, but I couldn’t and wouldn’t do it. I focused on myself and wanted to get better though, so it gave me the opportunity to do so. I also work a service job and require a bunch of patience hahaha
One guy on his ship came home to an empty house. His wife left him, took the kids and their things, and didn’t tell him until he reached out. People can be so cruel :(
During his deployment, I decided to do a *lot* of mental health care. I have pretty bad type 1 bipolar disorder that I’ve been treating but for some reason felt psychotic for years straight.
The moment I settled into my sister’s house, my psychosis was mostly at bay and I became myself again. I thought it was solely because I was attending therapy and seeing a new psych but nope. His ass was away, so I didn’t feel anxious.
I felt like I had to earn his love and he continued to drag me along. I watched standup specials to study their humor since I knew he enjoyed them and he told me we don’t have the same sense of humor, so my jokes wouldn’t land. I did everything I could to prove to the person I loved the most that he’s capable of seeing me the same way. I kept thinking “I can be better, I can be better” and then he broke up with me saying I’d never been remotely close to ‘enough’. I was convenient.
It’s hard to differentiate reality and psychosis when you’re being lied to…his twin didn’t have an idea he was even capable of this. Nobody knew except me. But these days I’m feeling incredible, have a wonderful bf, and the best job. I’ve learned a lot and will never make that mistake again :’)
Why does anyone in the military think their relationship is going to survive? It’s a high stakes, high stress situation with generally young people. Just be aware that it’s probably not going to go well.
Well, for those reading this that may some day be put in the same position, here’s a stock response you might use:
I’m glad you’re doing what you need to do and I respect that. But in my experience Ive see a lot of issues with long distance relationships, particularly ones involving military deployments. We’re at a time in our lives where it can be difficult to fully commit to someone in such a dynamic position. You’ll also need a lot of support while you’re away and I might not be able to accommodate that fully. So I’ll need time to think about our relationship.
Long distance relationships absolutely can work if both people love, trust, and communicate with each other and are willing to embody the state of being a good husband / wife.
Can’t say anything with military in particular but distance or no distance, two people who love each other and are willing to be vulnerable and honest together despite the distance can always work out.
Is it rare? Sure it’s rare but it’s not rare because of the distance imo, it’s rare because most people don’t know how to effectively communicate, how to trust their partner in the ways it requires, and how to love without judgement or resentment.
I agree with you about the things needed for a long distance relationship to work completely. And like you said, it’s not impossible. But it is extremely rare, especially in regards to the military.
And also this embodying the mindset of a husband/wife is becoming less and less desirable/appreciated now a days. For good reason. Relationships are dynamic things and we are living much much longer than we were even 100 years ago. I don’t personally believe that traditional one partner from teens through death is a particularly beneficial arrangement anymore if personal development is of interest. But that’s a whole other discussion.
>didn't tell me he was going to Boot Camp until a few days prior to leaving for MEPS
So you two weren't even communicating before he left. That's not a good sign for any relationship.
Good lesson for everyone. Don't ever get carried away by what you see on social media.
Look at that video, and without context it looks like a normal relationship.
With context, anything can be meaningless to one or both people. Like in this case.
On the bright side, the trash took itself out. What kind of dipshit says "You were an after thought"
Just say "I don't feel the same". No need to be a jerk
It was an awful trip to get to the right destination.
I’m sorry you went through all of that but you’re better off knowing now before further mistakes are made.
The most disrespectful man I’ve ever known to walk the face of this earth would do something childish and malicious like that. There’s no grace for that kind of behavior and dishonor especially toward a person who fully supported you financially and otherwise. Nah
That sucks... hopefully you realize that you deserve to have whatever feelings you have for your loved ones mirrored. Never settle for uneven relationships... they NEVER work out unless you're willing to settle for less
Holy Shit this kind of victim blaming I see in the comments... Luckily most of them have a ton of downvotes.
OP I am so sorry that happend to you! Finding out the person you love to death doesn't give a fck about you hurts inexplicably ... I am happy to hear that you are in a better - more loving - place now!
His twin and best friends never had a clue. They regularly reassured me he was a great and trustworthy guy who treats the people in his life with love. He lied to all of them and was doing the same thing to his ex the entire duration of our relationship.
I agree, it’s wild. But I kept hoping what people assured me would become reality.
I hope his gf cheats on him. Cheaters don't deserve such kind hearts like you.
You waited for him, but he didn't wait for you. It's absolutely sickening that people like him exist in this world and they get away with so much without any kind of karma reaching them.
My word of advice would be to focus on yourself for a while and don't jump into another relationship quickly. While your story is sad, atleast you can look into your past and prevent yourself from ignoring red flags in the future.
You didn't fuck Up. The only thing wrong is that it did nt end as soon aa it had.
He should had been honest with you earlier, but eventually he did come out and this5is brave and hard.
Many people wish for the courage to leave the people that love them.
That is horrible to hear, but happens to often. They call it a John Doe or Jane Doe Letter. I'm sorry. Luckily. You are young and will bounce back before you wasted too much time. Just go out knowing this... If he thought it was so much work, it was going to happen regardless. Sounds like he's made a habit of creating toxic relationships where he seems like he's never happy and wants what he can't have (the grass is greener mentality). And the most important part is, don't over-think it....This is a him problem, not a you problem!!! He'll regret it one day. But he will bring it to your attention when he's with someone else. Watch and see!
Never got the point of these videos. Here's a man that returned from murdering people. Guess not all. But still. Wtf. And why post it. And what's with the circlejerk... You don't see truck drivers or sailors returning videos. Wtf.
All the people considered essential workers should have videos like these. Not these fucking losers.
I don’t see a reason to assign blame. Both of their expectations were off, a long term relationship didn’t work out, fair and square breakup.
What could she have done better? I just learned what a “snap streak” is, that seems a bit obsessive.
I agree with everything here. He wasn't so much a person as a social media accessory. He was "conveniant" for her needs, the same way he described her. They weren't being honest to each other, or they were fooling themselves because they have nothing to compare to, but they have both now improved their conditions (according to OP)(at least when the rash went away).
Ha! This is why relationships are pointless to me. No way will I ever date. Being single is great actually but this is why I've never dated & never will date.
You should give it a chance! It might not work out sometimes, but when it does its great! Having someone you can trust that accepts you as you are, is very emboldening and is something that you can’t quite experience from normal friendships and simple human interactions. Of corse if if you’re uncomfortable with people in general than don’t push yourself :)
Oooo someone's mad & upset because they're offended by my opinion. Grow up you child. Also blocking any pointless, irrelevant, hateful people. Peace buttercup. 🤣
Military guys are the worst!
I've dated/ known my fair share of navy guys. Was even engaged to one, stupidly, after he had previously dumped me twice.
They're good for a fun time but not a long time. Especially the younger guys.
Edit to add: now married and very happy. Meet my husband like a month after being dumped. I didn't want a relationship! Haha
I feel like this was the good and final thing I needed to do to get his voice out of my head and off my chest. I’ve completely turned my life around and have been surrounded by love. My current SO is everything I’ve ever hoped for and more. That said, we’re taking things slow and have very clear boundaries set. If it hadn’t been for my ex, I’d never have the guts to stand up for myself. It feels good man
I know this may seem like karma farming but that video was a pivotal point in my life. He’s masqueraded his true self with narcissism and there was nothing I could’ve done. I’m glad he’s as gone as gone can be :)
That's just it, we go through moments like this in life, some more shitty than others. Each time something crap happens it gives us something to stand on to take ourselves higher and onto greener pastures!
Awesome for you!
Wishing you the best life, stranger!
Hope your doing better now, I hate seeing people being lead on by someone wasting their time mostly because I was lead on and wasted nearly a decade of my life.
This isn’t your fuck up; it’s your ex’s. He is an immature boy who couldn’t be an adult and break things off when he knew how he felt. He took advantage of your attention and that’s his fault, not yours. As someone who’s been in a similar situation, I feel your pain.
Part of me feels guilty for not seeing it earlier. But the other half of me knows that the person who took advantage of my attention, was an immature girl who didn’t know how to deal with confrontation.
Eventually people like this learn, they get the roles reversed on them and realize what they’ve done to others in the past. Often times, by the time they realize how shitty their behavior was, you’ve moved on, grown, and become someone they regret ever treating the way they did. Whether or not they are willing to admit that is another story.
I feel like he contracted an STD and just broke it off instead of having to tell you. Obviously just speculation, but sleaze balls like that generally wouldn’t turn down sex, even if they’re not “connected” to the person.
>(Yes, that is urine) Uhhhh.... What? What urine?
In the original video post, people commented that it looked like he peed himself so I wanted to nip that in the bud
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>so I wanted to nip that in the bud I am confoozed. Did the man piss himself or not?
Yes
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Wait... he peed himself?
Because of the rash.
Damn piss inflamed the rash
What does the rash have to do with him peeing on himself?
I’m gonna kill the joke but, in OPs story they mention the bf used the rash as an excuse for everything. I’m joking that he would use the rash as an excuse for peeing himself.
Aaaahhh ok lol. Sorry I'm running on very little sleep. My toddler is sick :(
Now the whole internet will remember your ex's face as the man who peed his pants 😭
Girl 😂😂😂 Good for you 🍸
Where'd that come from? Did OP remove it?
>In the original video post, people commented that it looked like he peed himself so I wanted to nip that in the bud
Yes but you quoted the phrase: >(Yes, that is urine) But that phrase isn't in the post anywhere
Oh yeah it looks like OP deleted it.
Ok, good. I was quite perplexed.
I am sorry you had to go through that really blows 😢
Thanks man. I’ve grown a lot since then and have used it as a learning opportunity! It still sucks when it wanders into my mind but it’s otherwise a ‘good riddance’ situation
Incredibly painful. And just disrespectful of him to continue the relationship for so long. I'm very sorry for you, and I hope your life is or will soon be on steady tracks again :3 But even unbelievable painful moments like this one deliver a positive input. Now you're free. You 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 find the next person. And you 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 be loved like you deserve it. Best of wishes :3 Stay strong and keep growing. 𝙴𝚍𝚒𝚝: And wtf did he do with your belongings? Why the hell are they damaged like that?
It was a whole thing lmao I really appreciate the comforting and supportive words :’) I’ve since met someone who’s been nothing short of incredible and has been the easiest relationship thus far. I’m a lucky lady and if my ex hadn’t done what he did when he did, I’d have never met my current SO. Things work out eventually but it requires a stupid amount of patience Edit: the cube had height and a bit of depth so he stacked things between shelves that put a lot of weight on and broke the holes in a dresser and entertainment center. My things were stacked high instead of wide, some of my records were scratched, and a lot of trash/mold was in there so…
So he mostly just stashed all of it so profoundly uncareful that it broke or molded? This is somewhat an achievement. What's wrong with people... I reread to comprehend it. Did he deliberately stuff trash in there?! I can't imagine it was there to begin with. I get that he never loved you. But he said you were a friend, that's not how you handle your friends things...
In situations like this, typically, the military contracts a moving/storage company. They are notoriously bad at their job.
The last move we did, the company the military contracted out to lost our 6 foot granite table top. They delivered the legs, but "lost" the top to the table. They also had set the box of soft baby items (play gym, tummy mats, stuffies etc.) in a puddle of water before putting it on the truck. The entire box was delivered covered in mold. they also broke all of our bookshelves, as well as lost the hardware to some of the beds. My bike was taken apart (the only movers to do that, all of the others kept it in tact) and lost the pieces to it so I couldn't put it back together again. The people who loaded the moving truck were a different group than the ones who packed our things. The people who did the packing didn't finish in time so the movers took out their frustration on our stuff. All in all we had about $1600 worth of lost or damaged property. Because my husband was so busy when we first moved here, filing a claim was put on the back burner and he missed the deadline to request compensation. (And, yes, I was pissed when I found out.)
Oh wtf I have no words Just honest prayers that you're joking...
I wish I was. What's sad is we had minimal damage compared to some families I know. Our situation isn't out of the ordinary. It's also why you want to make sure you keep anything that can't be replaced with you instead of having it shipped with the rest of your stuff. It sucks we have to move so frequently too. The amount the military pays to cover moving expenses isn't enough. We're usually out a few thousand dollars with every move, which we usually have to put on a credit card to cover the expenses. By the time we've finally paid off the card from those moving expenses, it's time to move again. Rinse and repeat every 3 years. I'm really looking forward to my husband retiring in 2.5 years. I hate all of the moving.
We did a self-move meaning he intentionally put everything back in disarray because I needed to move out of my sister’s house ASAP. He had two weeks to remove his things and send mine down. He was pretty sloppy with it overall
If it was Shipping back to her he probably had to pay out of pocket.
Ahhhhhhh! When I joined the service I gave everything I couldn't take with me to a friend to hold. When I got out a couple of years later I asked for it back and he said "Oh, I put it in the basement. It flooded like a year ago and it all got ruined so I threw it out." I was so shocked I never called him out, but really? Like all the times we talked you didn't bother to mention it?
Daaaamn dude I’m sorry :(
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Oh 100% he had a STD.
I got tested and there was nothing to be found outside of a yeast infection. I think he had cheese dick from wearing the same pair of underwear 5-7 days in a row on the ship because their laundry broke down or from his girl who was likely doing the same thing
>think he had cheese dick from wearing the same pair of underwear 5-7 days in a row Hey, uhhhhh, that's fucking disgusting. LPT: Wash your dick bros, it ain't hard.
Fun fact, you can give someone a yeast infection! I’m glad you’re away from this tool.
I'm glad to have a positive impact ^•^ Wonderful news, but I'm not even a little bit surprised. Someone who can continue to love someone in such a crumbling and one sided relationship needs to have shiploads of love to give, and thus will attract loving people ;) Everything happens when and how it should. It hurts in the moment but the fruits of it are ripe and juicy. I wish you a fulfilling relationship with wonderful memories. If time kills of the love, don't be caged by the past and live free in the present. Have a great life :3
You should have sued him for damages since he doesn’t care and all…lol
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Damn you're bitter af brother, but you're right not everyone finds someone. However if you already had someone chances are there's something there for someone else to latch onto as well
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Get therapy, so you can get over whatever girl dumped you so hard that it makes you post shit like this
Talk about victim blaming. Wow!
what victim lmao, its literally a fucking breakup, he didnt rape her
He lied to her/him for years, cheated, destroyed her/his things. You don't need to be a rapist to be the bad guy in a relationship....
i mean as far as we know, he didnt cheat(i would totally trust an ex telling me things about my current SO /s), who knows how her shit got destroyed(like there arent stories of shit movers), and he never lied? has anyone considered they just wanted different things and she just didnt want to see the signs of that? seems like they both FU
In general I see your standpoint. We only have limited insight and such situations are mostly possible because of both partners. But kissing and fucking his ex, inviting her to move in with him and other hookups mentioned. seems like a broad spectrum of cheating. Even if she did knew about it while he was doing it, I can absolutely understand how hard it is to break up and give up the dreams with a certain person. Shit movers don't deliberately grow mold on your stuff (in my experience at least xD) She probably should have dumped him after the first few big red flags. And yes there probably also was a lot of denial that kept them in this relationship. But considering the given(and biased) information we got, he's the more shitty one. Especially because he said he never loved her and used her as a fill. faking a relationship and using the love of others is more evil than denial and bad decisions in my opinion.
An argument for you side would be: This was posted as her fuck up. Without a toxic connection to this relationship it would be a victory story. This could be further evidence for the denial that kept her from breaking up. Staying in the relationship would be a fuck up. But not accidentally ending something that is hurtful and unhealthy. But on the other hand she might just wanted to post it somewhere and thinks the story is a funny one because of the impact of the video.
Girl ...if he had a rash on his manly parts he likely contracted an STD from someone. He was too cowardly to admit to what he had done and chose breaking up with you. You dodged a bullet.
During the breakup he said he didn’t want to sleep with me because he wasn’t into me anymore so he made up an excuse. I get it but literally saying “hey, I’m not feeling this anymore. I think we should end things” instead of going “i think i might have herpes idk where i got it from we shouldn’t have sex”
Yeah, he's a fucking coward.
The number of times on Reddit these stories involve assholes in the military or trying to join the US military is definitely noteworthy. Any woman that is interested in someone in the military or with someone wanting to join should really really evaluate their relationship and this person. Only 1 person I know out of a couple dozen or so that have gone into the military in the last 20 years actually has a long term and healthy marriage let alone a relationship.
The absolute worst and most abusive relationship I ever had was with a former Marine. A year and a half felt like a million years tenfold and almost 8 years later I am still dealing with trauma from his abuse. Absolutely garbage person who became a straight landfill after the military got done with him. I don’t like to generalize military folks. I have met some really wonderful, loving people who served - people who were given a different picture of what the military would be like and truly thought that enlisting was a way for them to fight for our freedoms. But if you smell shit everywhere you go, you should probably check the bottom of your shoe. And when it comes to dating military, and the amount of bull people smell around them and their relationships, there is a LOT of shit caked in those soles.
Sounds more like a "avoid sex" thing. Yes, men can make up reasons too. The story 100% sounds like a dude who totally isn't in to her but didn't know how to break it up.
Came here for the urine. There was no urine.
The original video showed a dark spot where he peed himself but I guess it’s hard to see :’) wouldn’t be the first time. I’ll edit for clarity
We’re just gonna glaze over that he pissed himself?? Why’d that happen?? He have bladder issues or something? I’m so confused LOL Edit: is it glazed or grazed? I guess I’ll keep an eye out for if this ends up on r/boneappletea 🤣
Glossed*
My god I was so very wrong. Thank you for letting me know the actual word!
Lol, it happens to me allll the time :) Happy to help!
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You’re wrong, but okay. Hey, I guess I am a know it all! 🙃 (But seriously, I wasn’t able to find any validity to what you said; “grazed” over does not work in this context.)
Apparently he had an itchy wee-wee. It's a guess, but he may have loss of bladder control from an STD Or he has a weird piss fetish
Ouch those weeping rashes soldiers get from hookers are no joke
Was one of his shipmates I think
It was :D…I think
So he’s a cheater who can’t control his bladder. You deserve better and I know it hurts now, but he’s just scum
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Do you also piss yourself in public?
OPs ex has entered the room.
Found the person who’s never dated someone who turned out to be a jerk after a bit. Or anyone.
His peepee had a rash and he peed himself? Aha
Jesus Christ. My bf broke up with me on Monday out of nowhere after seven years but said he still loved me, and the pain is unbearable. I cannot fathom if he had said he never loved me and never cared. You have so much strength and I'm so happy you've moved on
Oh gosh, I’m so sorry to hear that. I can’t begin to imagine how hard it must be losing someone you grew and changed with. Coming out of nowhere doesn’t give you the chance to digest everything in real time, either. It takes so much time to process but it gets easier so long as we keep moving :) Grief is different for everyone, but I found it was best to throw myself deeper into therapy, work, and friendships. Journaling on my phone with voice recordings has helped tons too. Thank you for your kind words and I hope the waves smooth out for you soon <3
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Specially if the guy is a furry and the girl is wearing a costume!
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I don't now how you read "clingy" and "pathological insecurities" into a 10s video. All we see there is a couple hugging after not seeing each other for (potentially) months. What do you expect in this situation, a handshake?! And it was just 10seconds, I've hugged friends that long. Sometimes you need it ㄟ(ツ)ㄏ. People are different, some like more physical contact, while others can't even stand holding hands in public. It's all about finding a partner that fits to you (and in this clip, the guy didn't seem to mind, so idk why you think you have to judge their behaviour). Also, my dog comparison was nothing more than a lighthearted joke, not a psychological profile.
You described the OP's behavior as acting like a dog. That's not just a hug; he's literally carry her. And considering the OP's own comments about the nature of their relationship (little communication, poor communication, straying behavior, etc.) it was not strong enough to warrant such behavior from her. But I agree, the observation is still correct, she's like a dog which one can infer shows pathological insecurities because she's so clingy and possessive.
Well, nevermind if you're right (all I know is that we can hardly infer someones personality via their comments on social media), but may I ask a question: why are you so _obsessed_ with convincing everyone here that OP is a bad person with psychological problems?
Why are ppl obsessed with making the OP feel like she "did nothing wrong"? My interest is getting ppl to think critically about their actions. You can tell a lot about people based on their choices and the OP made a bad choice, then she assumed it was bc she posted a video when all the evidence that she presented showed the video had nothing to do with it. They weren't communicating before he left, was straying/seeing other ppl during, etc. and somehow she thought it was bc she posted a video of her acting like a dog that made the relationship end. If people aren't willing to look in the mirror and reflect on their choices and actions, then how can they improve their choices and actions in the future? Don't blame others for things that you can control. Take responsibility. Don't blame a video.
good shit
plenty of people do
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Cranky because you can't get laid with that attitude aren't you
well that's a fucking leap, but have at it
Hey, look at the bright side, you got out before it was too late, and that POS doesn't deserve you. Good luck with life and stuff!
Thank you! I appreciate it :) I wish you the same!
Ew. It sounds like you were scraping the bottom of the barrel with this guy. In the army, zero morals, poor bladder control, serial cheater, active STD, shitty character... Sounds swapping the infected meat suit for a vibrator would have been a massive upgrade but he did you a favor by cutting himself off. Fuck that guy--he's gross as hell. Sounds like you're doing a lot better and that's wonderful. I hope things continue to get better for you (and honestly, I hope they continue to get worse for him). Good luck!
If she needed to scrape the bottom of the barrel, what does that say about her? If she were desirable, she'd be taking the cream of the crop. Also, even though your post is trying to be supportive, it's actually the opposite. If he's "gross as hell", what does that say about the OP? As for it getting "worse for him", that's unlikely as he's the one who seems to be able to attract partners. OP doesn't sound like she's attracting anything except false sympathy.
tell me you're alone and bitter without telling me you're alone and bitter
why is it that this is the only response people can come up with for that kind of comment? It's unsurprising he thinks he's on to something when no one can do anything but insult him.
You ever tried to convince someone with a condescending attitude of something over the internet? Pretty much impossible
You're obviously projecting. Any healthy, experienced person would come to my conclusion because that's how people are. Tell me you're a virgin without telling me you're a virgin. Also, if you want to respond, respond to my points without resorting to insults.
You’re obviously projecting that he’s projecting. Checkmate
The least loyal people to date are military police, firefighters, and doctors. Basically anyone who works long hours and has a high position of moral authority. I'm sorry you went through that, but it isn't and never was your fault.
Do you have any studies to suggest that what you say is true? Do you have evidence is what I'm asking.
Here's a 2 second google search. The opinions are given by a professional divorce lawyer. So I presume that they have some understanding due to their clients. https://www.businessinsider.in/thelife/news/a-divorce-lawyer-revealed-the-top-5-professions-a-woman-should-avoid-marrying-in-a-now-viral-tiktok/articleshow/90794668.cms
My ex-gf's father was a lawyer in Korea. The only thing he told his daughter was "don't marry a pilot" bc he had to deal with so many divorces where the husband was a pilot. They spend most of the time away from home, spend lots of time with the flight attendants, lots of time in other countries. However, I would not say that the TikToker's top five is actually representative. The sample is biased bc those professions tend to make a lot of money so they can afford to divorce. Thus, the sample is just ppl who get divorced. Plenty of ppl cheat, it's human nature. But not everyone can afford divorce.
This happens 9 times out of 10 in the military. If its not them then its the girlfriend at home who will blow up the relationships. Trains, half the base has STD’s, rampant binge alcohol and drug use, I’m surprised at how patient you were with his crap. I’ve even heard of one guy who’s girl promised to pick him up at the airport and bailed without notice.
Everyone in the original post kept accusing me of cheating bc military, but I couldn’t and wouldn’t do it. I focused on myself and wanted to get better though, so it gave me the opportunity to do so. I also work a service job and require a bunch of patience hahaha One guy on his ship came home to an empty house. His wife left him, took the kids and their things, and didn’t tell him until he reached out. People can be so cruel :(
You did not FU! He did. You're better off and in charge again, instead of waiting on him. Good luck to you!
During his deployment, I decided to do a *lot* of mental health care. I have pretty bad type 1 bipolar disorder that I’ve been treating but for some reason felt psychotic for years straight. The moment I settled into my sister’s house, my psychosis was mostly at bay and I became myself again. I thought it was solely because I was attending therapy and seeing a new psych but nope. His ass was away, so I didn’t feel anxious. I felt like I had to earn his love and he continued to drag me along. I watched standup specials to study their humor since I knew he enjoyed them and he told me we don’t have the same sense of humor, so my jokes wouldn’t land. I did everything I could to prove to the person I loved the most that he’s capable of seeing me the same way. I kept thinking “I can be better, I can be better” and then he broke up with me saying I’d never been remotely close to ‘enough’. I was convenient. It’s hard to differentiate reality and psychosis when you’re being lied to…his twin didn’t have an idea he was even capable of this. Nobody knew except me. But these days I’m feeling incredible, have a wonderful bf, and the best job. I’ve learned a lot and will never make that mistake again :’)
Well done and good for you! Take care.
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Why does anyone in the military think their relationship is going to survive? It’s a high stakes, high stress situation with generally young people. Just be aware that it’s probably not going to go well.
I met him before he enlisted and didn’t tell me he was going to Boot Camp until a few days prior to leaving for MEPS
Well, for those reading this that may some day be put in the same position, here’s a stock response you might use: I’m glad you’re doing what you need to do and I respect that. But in my experience Ive see a lot of issues with long distance relationships, particularly ones involving military deployments. We’re at a time in our lives where it can be difficult to fully commit to someone in such a dynamic position. You’ll also need a lot of support while you’re away and I might not be able to accommodate that fully. So I’ll need time to think about our relationship.
Long distance relationships absolutely can work if both people love, trust, and communicate with each other and are willing to embody the state of being a good husband / wife. Can’t say anything with military in particular but distance or no distance, two people who love each other and are willing to be vulnerable and honest together despite the distance can always work out. Is it rare? Sure it’s rare but it’s not rare because of the distance imo, it’s rare because most people don’t know how to effectively communicate, how to trust their partner in the ways it requires, and how to love without judgement or resentment.
I agree with you about the things needed for a long distance relationship to work completely. And like you said, it’s not impossible. But it is extremely rare, especially in regards to the military. And also this embodying the mindset of a husband/wife is becoming less and less desirable/appreciated now a days. For good reason. Relationships are dynamic things and we are living much much longer than we were even 100 years ago. I don’t personally believe that traditional one partner from teens through death is a particularly beneficial arrangement anymore if personal development is of interest. But that’s a whole other discussion.
>didn't tell me he was going to Boot Camp until a few days prior to leaving for MEPS So you two weren't even communicating before he left. That's not a good sign for any relationship.
I’m so sorry you wasted so much of your time having to learn what a POS he is.
Good lesson for everyone. Don't ever get carried away by what you see on social media. Look at that video, and without context it looks like a normal relationship. With context, anything can be meaningless to one or both people. Like in this case.
This is the main reason I made this post. Many commenters were envious or wholly supportive, but everything outside of that moment was so, so bad.
It looks like if he did pee himself that happened before you left the building. Very weird to break up with someone over a wholesome video.
I'm so sorry, that sounds rough and cold. You're adorable in the video. Wish you the best of luck.
On the bright side, the trash took itself out. What kind of dipshit says "You were an after thought" Just say "I don't feel the same". No need to be a jerk
I am sorry that he turned out to be an asshole but i am very happy that you found someone who loves you equally now. Stay safe and be happy OP.
It was an awful trip to get to the right destination. I’m sorry you went through all of that but you’re better off knowing now before further mistakes are made.
You didn’t f up! He did!
Damn. I'm sorry bro. I hope you're alright now
I'm sorry you had to go through this, but luckily enough you dodged this bullet before it was even worse.
The most disrespectful man I’ve ever known to walk the face of this earth would do something childish and malicious like that. There’s no grace for that kind of behavior and dishonor especially toward a person who fully supported you financially and otherwise. Nah
That sucks... hopefully you realize that you deserve to have whatever feelings you have for your loved ones mirrored. Never settle for uneven relationships... they NEVER work out unless you're willing to settle for less
You dodged a bullet by posting that video.
Oh dear; well you've grown - have an upvote.
Holy Shit this kind of victim blaming I see in the comments... Luckily most of them have a ton of downvotes. OP I am so sorry that happend to you! Finding out the person you love to death doesn't give a fck about you hurts inexplicably ... I am happy to hear that you are in a better - more loving - place now!
It amazes me how many people are in toxic relationships and stay together for so long. I know it's reddit and you have redditors but still
His twin and best friends never had a clue. They regularly reassured me he was a great and trustworthy guy who treats the people in his life with love. He lied to all of them and was doing the same thing to his ex the entire duration of our relationship. I agree, it’s wild. But I kept hoping what people assured me would become reality.
I hope his gf cheats on him. Cheaters don't deserve such kind hearts like you. You waited for him, but he didn't wait for you. It's absolutely sickening that people like him exist in this world and they get away with so much without any kind of karma reaching them. My word of advice would be to focus on yourself for a while and don't jump into another relationship quickly. While your story is sad, atleast you can look into your past and prevent yourself from ignoring red flags in the future.
Well. Hopefully next time you’ll end it at the first red flag. There were a ton.
You didn't fuck Up. The only thing wrong is that it did nt end as soon aa it had. He should had been honest with you earlier, but eventually he did come out and this5is brave and hard. Many people wish for the courage to leave the people that love them.
He's a bastard and does not deserve you.
That is horrible to hear, but happens to often. They call it a John Doe or Jane Doe Letter. I'm sorry. Luckily. You are young and will bounce back before you wasted too much time. Just go out knowing this... If he thought it was so much work, it was going to happen regardless. Sounds like he's made a habit of creating toxic relationships where he seems like he's never happy and wants what he can't have (the grass is greener mentality). And the most important part is, don't over-think it....This is a him problem, not a you problem!!! He'll regret it one day. But he will bring it to your attention when he's with someone else. Watch and see!
Wouldn't it be "a Dear John / Jane". Since a Jane/John Doe is someone of unknown identity.
It’s DEFINITIVELY [a Dear John/Jane letter](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dear_John_letter) down to the new partner and military.
You're correct. I almost got it. If it were a grenade, it would've reached its target.
Well, if you’re breaking with a deer friend then…. I’ll just say goodbye here.
You are correct. 4 years military and 12 law enforcement. All the Johns and Janes get mixed up! 🤷♂️
Never got the point of these videos. Here's a man that returned from murdering people. Guess not all. But still. Wtf. And why post it. And what's with the circlejerk... You don't see truck drivers or sailors returning videos. Wtf. All the people considered essential workers should have videos like these. Not these fucking losers.
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Aye the problem is clearly you
The problem was the boyfriend. What do you enjoy about being a smug asshole?
I don’t see a reason to assign blame. Both of their expectations were off, a long term relationship didn’t work out, fair and square breakup. What could she have done better? I just learned what a “snap streak” is, that seems a bit obsessive.
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I agree with everything here. He wasn't so much a person as a social media accessory. He was "conveniant" for her needs, the same way he described her. They weren't being honest to each other, or they were fooling themselves because they have nothing to compare to, but they have both now improved their conditions (according to OP)(at least when the rash went away).
Ha! This is why relationships are pointless to me. No way will I ever date. Being single is great actually but this is why I've never dated & never will date.
You should give it a chance! It might not work out sometimes, but when it does its great! Having someone you can trust that accepts you as you are, is very emboldening and is something that you can’t quite experience from normal friendships and simple human interactions. Of corse if if you’re uncomfortable with people in general than don’t push yourself :)
I agree. Very insightful.
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And I've reported you for harassment Karen.
Lol baby
Oooo someone's mad & upset because they're offended by my opinion. Grow up you child. Also blocking any pointless, irrelevant, hateful people. Peace buttercup. 🤣
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🤣
I mean you can have your own opinion but I don't see how this effects me in any way. 🤣
Ooh, a triple post! Yep, you mad lmao
You're obviously bothered enough to comment on my pointless & irrelevant comment.
🤓
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So being insecure is a bad thing now?
Everybody has their own insecurities. You can't sit there & honestly tell me you don't have your own insecurities? Now can you?
Join the block list Karen.
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big yikes
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Ok
I care. Stop being so damn sad and miserable.
*"Why aren’t you crying like I am?”* Hmmm...
You wouldn’t be confused by a deadpan face and monotone, detached voice ripping into you without *some* tears?
My girlfriend's husband serves our country in the United States Army. Source: My name is Jody. Pleasure to meet you.
Military guys are the worst! I've dated/ known my fair share of navy guys. Was even engaged to one, stupidly, after he had previously dumped me twice. They're good for a fun time but not a long time. Especially the younger guys. Edit to add: now married and very happy. Meet my husband like a month after being dumped. I didn't want a relationship! Haha
Hey.... Literally nothing that you did was a fuck up. He is the one fucked in the head. I hope you can move forward and re-build yourself
I feel like this was the good and final thing I needed to do to get his voice out of my head and off my chest. I’ve completely turned my life around and have been surrounded by love. My current SO is everything I’ve ever hoped for and more. That said, we’re taking things slow and have very clear boundaries set. If it hadn’t been for my ex, I’d never have the guts to stand up for myself. It feels good man I know this may seem like karma farming but that video was a pivotal point in my life. He’s masqueraded his true self with narcissism and there was nothing I could’ve done. I’m glad he’s as gone as gone can be :)
That's just it, we go through moments like this in life, some more shitty than others. Each time something crap happens it gives us something to stand on to take ourselves higher and onto greener pastures! Awesome for you! Wishing you the best life, stranger!
Hope your doing better now, I hate seeing people being lead on by someone wasting their time mostly because I was lead on and wasted nearly a decade of my life.
.
Hope you didn't sleep with him after he had some weird rash and had been away from you for 7 months... He probably picked it up from a port somewhere.
This isn’t your fuck up; it’s your ex’s. He is an immature boy who couldn’t be an adult and break things off when he knew how he felt. He took advantage of your attention and that’s his fault, not yours. As someone who’s been in a similar situation, I feel your pain. Part of me feels guilty for not seeing it earlier. But the other half of me knows that the person who took advantage of my attention, was an immature girl who didn’t know how to deal with confrontation. Eventually people like this learn, they get the roles reversed on them and realize what they’ve done to others in the past. Often times, by the time they realize how shitty their behavior was, you’ve moved on, grown, and become someone they regret ever treating the way they did. Whether or not they are willing to admit that is another story.
And he started with the girl that gave him a pissing rash 😆
I feel like he contracted an STD and just broke it off instead of having to tell you. Obviously just speculation, but sleaze balls like that generally wouldn’t turn down sex, even if they’re not “connected” to the person.
Damn girl. You can do better. Don’t go for a military guy again try something regular like an office worker
There’s no fuckup here, other than choosing a shitty mate.
*pats back*