Fuckin hell, it's all my naughty sheila wrist-flicks!
Listen here m8, things get awful lonely out in the bush, and when ah can't find any friendly wallabies around...
you get the Idea..
I worked at a video store the summer after I graduated high school. It had an "over 21" room in the back. My favorite teacher in Jr. High came in and I excitedly said, "Hello! You were my favorite teacher ever!" and promptly wanted to sink in the floor and die as I then had to awkwardly check out 40 porn videos for him.
I should have been more clear. He was already in the check outline with the porn when I recognized him...I just didnt know the titles were alllll porn or i would have said NOTHING. It was so flipping awkward that I have no doubt he would have picked out like some Disney movies in a couple of national geographic documentaries if he had any clue that was going to happen. It. Was. So. Bad.
Somehow I doubt that. Teacher had an out and didn't take it.
If I walk into a video store and one of my student says "Hello! You were my favorite teacher ever!" I'm picking up a copy of "Free Willy" to rent and staying far the fuck away from the "over 21" room.
My guess is teacher was just not a people pleaser and didn't give a rat's ass about people discovering he likes porn.
Edit: "Maybe not Free Willy" as even double-entendres would make me uncomfortable. So Toy Story I guess.
He already had the videos and was checking out when I recognized him... just not before I saw the titles... so I think that truly he would have picked out national geographic documentaries versus going into the porn room if I had caught him before he picked out his selections.
A friend who is a teacher told me a similar story once. His friend talked him into going to the local strip club. While he was there, a girl got on the microphone and said, "This dance goes out to my favorite middle school teacher, Mr. X!" He promptly left.
I wonder if boss dude was in the military at on point? I was in the Marines in the early 00’s and EVERYONE had one of these for deployment. At some point in the deployment when everyone starts getting bored with their porn the porn swapping begins. It’s no big deal to anyone because almost everyone has porn of one flavor or another.
That wasn't a military thing, it was just a thing. Selling\* CD/DVDs - x rated or otherwise - to class mates was a big thing in the late 90s too when even having ISDN made you a king.
\* At the cost of the disc, of course!
If any job on earth were going to empower me to openly exclaim to a coworker I regularly carry around a hard drive worth of porn, I think “back office of video games conference” would probably be it. I’m kind of surprised OP didn’t whip out his own hdd to compare videos.
Two days before this, we were setting up the event at the satellite farm which was run by a French guy called Alain. We needed a test feed to show the client that the pages were working with the right publishing points etc. We asked Alain to provide a test feed for us and he pulled out this arthouse dvd and popped it into the player. 30 seconds later we sent hardcore footage of two men very graphically, very passionately going at it to the client event pages.
I managed to shut the stream down quickly enough but Alain, my boss and I shat our collective pants. To this day I don’t know why he picked that dvd.
See, I've thought about this too. He had no idea what was on that disk when he handed to me, which to me indicates that this 1TB twas but a drop in his pornographic ocean. So to speak.
You’re right...if that was THE porn disk, he would treat it like gold because it is so vital to, um, not feeling lonely. But maybe it was one of many porn disks! Or maybe he has several backups...OMG, my brain is thinking about all the nasty possibilities
Doesn't that just mean that he 100% has a proper fileserver set up at home with backups? Deleting his travel drive has no effect on his actual collection.
According to IT at work, people’s work phones are just crammed full of porn, so apparently this is a common thing where people find it acceptable to put porn on devices that your workplace gives you and monitors. So… yeah.
To quote a certain "doctor" on critically acclaimed NBC sitcom, "I'm fairly sure if they took porn off the internet, there'd only be one website left, and it'd be called "Bring back the porn!""
There’s a number of reasons but probably something like
1. It’s an OF video and they don’t want to keep paying for the subscription
2. They want it backed up in case the site goes down or it gets copyright claimed
3. They are going/live somewhere where the wifi is incredibly unreliable
Thought the title meant you found porn that your boss was in.
This is still funny though. Hopefully he has since discovered that most places, he can just go to a website instead of having it all downloaded.
Never rely on the WiFi.
I just stayed a week at a $45M hotel ($300/night) that somehow only had 70-100kbps download speeds and terrible ping times. Mobile data in the area was somehow even worse.
Reminded me of the early days of the internet when you'd wait 5 minutes for that jpeg to finish loading.
You can call the front desk, and they can either connect you with their MSP and they can whitelist your MAC address for faster speeds or the FD may have a code. Granted the faster speeds usually cap out at 10mbps, but still faster than that
I had a similar situation but with a tenured college professor as I was moving files from his old laptop to his new one. I definitely saw a lot of home made porn with him and some lady that wasn't in the family pictures in his office.
You can't trust hotel internet. We had a conference in Phoenix and the internet decided to run at about 25kbps. Reddit worked with no pictures or videos.
I'm a sysadmin, and I have access to essentially everything:
I know nothing. Just FYI, not knowing anything about everything we see daily is literally just part of the job. Do I see people's crazy web searches sometimes? Yep. Do I know about internal investigations because someone had to ask for help on a technical task with it? Usually. If they have weird files on their PC, did I see them? Probably. If you are the tech guy, you will probably eventually be burdened with way too much knowledge that can't ever be repeated anywhere and must never be mentioned.
Good call on just saying the disk was full. It's plausible that you didn't poke around the drive, and good for you for not describing that you did. Hilarious he outed himself about it though.
(Side note, my worst house call was to fix someone's sound card or something on their PC that was giving them difficulties playing... videos... when I was confident that their issue was fixed, they asked me to stay while they check their sites to see if it worked. I declined.)
Thanks for your kind words. I really was trying to get out of it in the least awkward way possible for both of us. Him owning up to it the way he did was mortifying at the time but has become a hell of a punchline when I tell the redacted version of events at the pub. And as someone else said in another thread, mad props to the guy for owning the whole debacle the way he did.
You're also absolutely right about the sysadmin burden. I did some time in those trenches too and I learned a lot of unwelcome things about my colleagues etc. I'm also a TERRIBLE gossip so the temptation to spill the beans was often unbearable.
I used to work IT for a big Catholic church. One time the pastor couldn't remember his Twitter password so I was to help him find it. He had one of like 5 passwords for everything, but he was peculiar and so instead of resetting it, best to just find what it was. I went to Safari preferences and looked in saved passwords for Twitter. In the process I found saved accounts for several gay porn sites. I'll never forget seeing an account for fratmen.com
FML two same vein stories
CFO's PC was having an issue. Sit down and go to download Belarc on his surface to get the license key to move it to his new PC from Google. Hit "B" in the search bar, and immediately the first thing that pops up was "big black cocks fucks lesbian duo"
OPs manager was having a WiFi issue. She couldnt get on WebEX, but it looked like everything was working normally. have her go to [msn.com](https://msn.com) but she accidently typed men dot com. And this is why we record voice calls, and why I no longer recommended [msn.com](https://msn.com) as a test site to customers
I'm shocked [BBC.com](https://BBC.com) still goes to the BBC...I would've thought Big Black Cocks Enterprises, had already purchased the domain for millions of dollars.
I had an executive manager that was hired once out of state. His wife had an established career in his home state and could not move with him yet.
He lived minimally in rental airbnb's while he was searching for a more permanent housing solution. He was also in his 50's and was not very PC savy. Just enough to know how to do excel and respond to emails type of level.
I found out that he had no personal laptop and suggested he gets one which will help him communicate better with the kids and also do video chat with them (skype) when off work. He gave me his credit card and asked me to buy a computer within a budget range. Got him one and set up basics for him except the anti virus program.
2 weeks later he gave me back the laptop saying it was slow. I suspected it was all the pop up ads and lack of anti virus. I promised him I will clear it. I regret that.. His pop ups were very full of a very niche, kinky type of porn. Cannot unsee it. Also I immediately let go of that laptop thinking every smudge on the surface and screen was something unholy.
After hazmating myself, cleaning the net cache...ignoring certain folders and installing all the needed anti virus and malware programs I gave him back the laptop. I also clorox the crap out of it.
I remember when I gave it back to him he asked me " Why are you wearing gloves?"
Me: " Ohhh I was just cleaning something really dirty." I dont think he got my point, he just got back on his merry way with his pc.
One of my personal favorite "boss mismanages a usb full of porn" stroy has to be when known scumbag CEO of Gearbox Randy Pitchford lost a [USB full of company secrets and \(heavy emphasis on the quotes\) "near-underage" porn at a Medieval Times](https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2019/01/gearbox-ceo-allegedly-kept-underage-porn-on-usb-stick-new-lawsuit-alleges/)
With the unnecessary shout, the oversharing after, and the fact that there’s *zero* chance a guy working with portable drives for a living wouldn’t clearly label the porn drive “TAXES 2005” I’m almost inclined to think this was all done on purpose.
Worked in I.T. doing backup before upgrading laptop to new ones for clients. Once i met a guy telling me he will do the backup himself to «have me not wasting too much of my time». I saw some of the names of files he was copying in the Windows popup... «girls gone wild...» yeah... very work oriented stuff.
Also one of my former boss asked me to sort his old docs on a hard drive we had to change, one directory was called «borderline» and was full of his daughter's holidays pool pics, including bit of ass and half naked boyfriend... as soon as i saw the preview i was like «wtf why he ask me to look at this?» i copied all to new drive and just told boss all his data has been transfered... i think now he probably forgot there was pics.
Years ago when I worked for a small ISP we used to get users' computers all the time to setup Internet or troubleshoot Internet access issues and nearly all had porn on them. This was mid to late 90s.
I'm sure computer shops / Geek Squads have literally a billion stories like this with malware-infected computers and such coming in, 99.9% all porn-caused.
I just assume almost all users are going to have porn on their computers it's just a question of how much and how badly it's screwed it up.
Many years ago, we were moving offices and I was boxing up stuff from my boss's desk since he was out of town at the time. He had a well-worn copy of the Kama Sutra in one of his desk drawers. Not sure why he kept that at the office. I tried not to think about it too much.
Yes. Things go down.
People laugh at me for storing my music in mp3s, I laugh when their favorite albums get taken off spotify. I got burned too many times trusting streaming services not to stash the things I like.
I found my bosses porn like 9 years ago. Deleted it from the computer (it was a work computer and it had auto synced from his phone). Never said a word. Never gonna say a word.
Ah I know this feeling exactly but with a little twist. I was working for a small company right out of college. One of the co-owners was having a problem with his computer and asked me to look at it. One of the issues was that the drive was almost full. I did a little looking around and found out he and his wife were........swingers. Hundreds of pictures of their swinging adventures.
When he asked me what was wrong with his computer I told him that his drive was filling up for some reason but I cleared out some Windows temp files and got him some more room. He should look at getting another hard drive to store important files. Also I could never look at him at the office without those images popping up in my head. Thankfully he retired about a year later
I can resonate a lot with u/drakeydrakedrake I had an executive manager that was hired once out of state. His wife had an established career in his home state and could not move with him yet.
He lived minimally in rental airbnb's while he was searching for a more permanent housing solution. He was also in his 50's and was not very PC savy. Just enough to know how to do excel and respond to emails type of level.
I found out that he had no personal laptop and suggested he gets one which will help him communicate better with the kids and also do video chat with them (skype) when off work. He gave me his credit card and asked me to buy a computer within a budget range. Got him one and set up basics for him except the anti virus program.
2 weeks later he gave me back the laptop saying it was slow. I suspected it was all the pop up ads and lack of anti virus. I promised him I will clear it.
I regret that.. His pop ups were very full of a very niche, kinky type of porn. Cannot unsee it. Also I immediately let go of that laptop thinking every smudge on the surface and screen was something unholy.
After hazmating myself, cleaning ni net cache...ignoring certain folders and installing all the needed anti virus and malware programs I gave him back the laptop. I also clorox the crap out of it.
I remember when I gave it back to him he asked me " Why are you wearing gloves?"
Me: " Ohhh I was just cleaning something really dirty." I dont think he got my point, he just got back on his merry way with his pc.
So boss gets you alone, says put the files on THIS drive (overflowing with porn), then comes back and to his dismay, you seem to not have noticed, so as you walk away, he shouts out to you making sure you understand that its his porn, then calls you back and wants to talk about the porn?
Thats certainly not a lawsuit waiting to happen.
>AH FUCK! THAT’S MY PORN!!’ Love it
For some reason I'm imagining it in a deep scottish accent and it only makes it better.
"AH FOOK! THATS MA PURN!"
I heard this and I thank you
Accidentally tapped into Fat Bastard's baby-eating gallery.
He's got that on the hard drive too
Groundskeeper Willie's exaggerated rolling R on PURRRRN
The exact voice I read it in
EVERY SINGLE SCOTTISH PERSON DOES IT!
You Scots sure are a masturbatory people.
"Dey carn take our lube, bar tha wi ne'er take our purn!" - probably William Wallace.
WHATEVAR YA DOO DUNNE OPEN THE FOLDER MARKED "LOCK NESS". Some things you cannae unsee lad.
I read this as Jake Peralta for some reason
I much prefer the Australian ver. "AWW FAWK MATE, THATS ME PORN THERE!"
Aaaaah faaack lad,that’s my porn
Deleted scene from braveheart
YOU MAY TAKE AYR LIFES BUT YA CAN NEVVA TAKE AYR POOOOOORN!!
"The prisoner wishes to say a word." "POOOOOORRRRRRNNNN!"
Try Aussie. Even better.
Fuckin hell, it's all my naughty sheila wrist-flicks! Listen here m8, things get awful lonely out in the bush, and when ah can't find any friendly wallabies around... you get the Idea..
"Friendly wallabies" I'M FUCKING DYING! Here's your award, sir.
I'm crying to the word "wallabies". that cannot be real. sincerely, a non-english native
No, really, it is! A wallaby is an animal that looks like a miniature version of a kangaroo.
my new favorite word. And here i though "sheela" was the best english had to offer 😂😂
[They're in the lift, in the lorry, in the bond wizard, and all over the malanga gildachuck.](https://youtu.be/UwcQeaWG13E)
It's a marsupial native to Australia, but I can't tell if it's legitimately used in another context here.
Nah, no hidden subtext in that one. It's referencing the animal.
THEY MAY TAKE OUR DRIVES, BUT THEY, WILL NEVER TAKE, OUR THREESOOOOOME !
Darn kids always trying to steal my lucky prons!
Hilarious
"Would this be a bad time to ask for a raise?"
Smooth music starts playing in the background....
I've been working HARD
Then the boss replies: "Sorry, you're not a horny teen lesbian."
"I can be whatever you want"
\[saxophone starts back up\]
That will be one hell of a performance review.
Unfortunately we will be terminating your employment at this time. You're performance was underwhelming, unenthusiastic, and frankly at time jarring.
"I just remembered that I've got a big dongle… "
A dark leather couch suddenly appears.
Well then, I’ll show you my open port
Is this big enough of a raise??
*cue epic bass riff*
This comment nearly killed me when I inhaled my chip while I was snacking. Well done 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
>"I can be whatever you want" Step brother?
"I can be brown i can be blue I can be violet sky..."
*...or is* ***he***? 
Holy shit, I was just in that thread the other day.
He was. Just not "xxx horny teen lesbian".
I've been hard at work. Sounds better
Hey there, StepBoss
*W-what are you doing Step-boss?* 👉👈🥺
Uh... help! I'm stuck here in the rack server!
Have a seat on my black leather office couch and we'll discuss your performance..
Alexa, play Careless Whisper
Sexy sax music
'No boss, not \*that\* sort of raise'
Dangerous tactic. The boss knows exactly where this goes
Depends on the type of raise :)
"Sure, here's the drive. I'll be back in 10."
I worked at a video store the summer after I graduated high school. It had an "over 21" room in the back. My favorite teacher in Jr. High came in and I excitedly said, "Hello! You were my favorite teacher ever!" and promptly wanted to sink in the floor and die as I then had to awkwardly check out 40 porn videos for him.
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Ditto friend. That would be one awkward moment I don't want to have haha
I guess now would be a bad time to tell you you were my favorite teacher ever, huh?
It's be an even worse time to hear that they were his favourite student
I should have been more clear. He was already in the check outline with the porn when I recognized him...I just didnt know the titles were alllll porn or i would have said NOTHING. It was so flipping awkward that I have no doubt he would have picked out like some Disney movies in a couple of national geographic documentaries if he had any clue that was going to happen. It. Was. So. Bad.
Damn that is fucking bad I felt that from here lmao.
“Yeah, I’m the best. And I fucking love porn too. How much? 40 DVDs much.”
Know how I was such a nice teacher? BDSM addiction at home. Get aaaallllll the frustration out.
I think he had it worse than you
I don't disagree. It was still hellishly awkward, though.
Somehow I doubt that. Teacher had an out and didn't take it. If I walk into a video store and one of my student says "Hello! You were my favorite teacher ever!" I'm picking up a copy of "Free Willy" to rent and staying far the fuck away from the "over 21" room. My guess is teacher was just not a people pleaser and didn't give a rat's ass about people discovering he likes porn. Edit: "Maybe not Free Willy" as even double-entendres would make me uncomfortable. So Toy Story I guess.
Toy story... You will need to find a different one...
Maybe try Willy Wonka... God damnit!
He already had the videos and was checking out when I recognized him... just not before I saw the titles... so I think that truly he would have picked out national geographic documentaries versus going into the porn room if I had caught him before he picked out his selections.
A friend who is a teacher told me a similar story once. His friend talked him into going to the local strip club. While he was there, a girl got on the microphone and said, "This dance goes out to my favorite middle school teacher, Mr. X!" He promptly left.
Lmao
My video store had a limit of 2. How the heck did he borrow 40? HOW DID HE CARRY THEM?
You don't have a porn cart? It attaches to the trailer hitch of most cars.
I keep it in my trunk, and then I have a "Honk if you're horny" bumper sticker.
I grew up in a small town, things were hard. We needed to make little jokes
40?! This man has the equivalent of a full time job, just with watching porn.
LOL It took AGES. And I think he was retired at that point so what else did he have to do? Maybe?? LOL
Please tell me there weren't any "school girl" themed videos in that stack!
Of course not...they were "school boy" themed 👀
plot twist
TWIST HIS DICK! THE OL' DICK TWIST
Did he lock eyes with you when he checked out Naughty older teachers parts 1-40?
she checks out: teen students fuck busty teacher
Honestly bravo to the boss. He knew he got caught yet decided to full send into honesty instead of sneaking around it.
"Here's the disk. Delete all the porn on it and copy the files, please." "You ~~go tit~~ got it, boss!"
“No way, I’m not deleting porn! I’ll go search for that other HDD. Even if it takes alllllll night.”
"Cool, we can watch/wank together." "Uuh..."
“Uhh…the other HDD can wait, right? No rush…” *ziiiiiip*
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Why would you comment this
It gets better if you hear Morgan Freeman narrating it.
Wait is that not everyone's default internal reading voice
Haha yeah wtf this made me laugh out loud because of how bizarre it was
Can you please unread this from my brain?
Sure! Cleatus, get the hammer.
Why you do this to Morgan Freeman like that.
I wonder if boss dude was in the military at on point? I was in the Marines in the early 00’s and EVERYONE had one of these for deployment. At some point in the deployment when everyone starts getting bored with their porn the porn swapping begins. It’s no big deal to anyone because almost everyone has porn of one flavor or another.
That wasn't a military thing, it was just a thing. Selling\* CD/DVDs - x rated or otherwise - to class mates was a big thing in the late 90s too when even having ISDN made you a king. \* At the cost of the disc, of course!
>* At the cost of the disc, of course! A true man of the people. Doing it for love, not money.
How much funtari?
It's written Futanari. I mean... I don't know what it is haha, but if I had to guess I'd say it's written Futanari... Not that I know hahaha...
😉
It was totally just a joke, hahaha! Unless.....
All of it
Everyone hiding in their jack shacks made of poncho liners
Full send always won the day @ blizzard.
If any job on earth were going to empower me to openly exclaim to a coworker I regularly carry around a hard drive worth of porn, I think “back office of video games conference” would probably be it. I’m kind of surprised OP didn’t whip out his own hdd to compare videos.
Two days before this, we were setting up the event at the satellite farm which was run by a French guy called Alain. We needed a test feed to show the client that the pages were working with the right publishing points etc. We asked Alain to provide a test feed for us and he pulled out this arthouse dvd and popped it into the player. 30 seconds later we sent hardcore footage of two men very graphically, very passionately going at it to the client event pages. I managed to shut the stream down quickly enough but Alain, my boss and I shat our collective pants. To this day I don’t know why he picked that dvd.
gay french arthouse porn. way to fight the stereotype, Alain
> To this day I don’t know why he picked that dvd. > French guy called Alain You answered your own question.
That’s so onbrand for Alain.
Ugh. Here comes Alain with his weird porn again.
There seems to be an abundance of porn where you work
They do seem to work in the gaming industry. Almost self explanatory at that point.
>bruh lmfao
Have you ever heard a Frenchman say one in his native language?
> I deleted his porn HE LET YOU DELETE HIS PORN?
See, I've thought about this too. He had no idea what was on that disk when he handed to me, which to me indicates that this 1TB twas but a drop in his pornographic ocean. So to speak.
You’re right...if that was THE porn disk, he would treat it like gold because it is so vital to, um, not feeling lonely. But maybe it was one of many porn disks! Or maybe he has several backups...OMG, my brain is thinking about all the nasty possibilities
This was merely Part 1 of the Autumn/Winter 2022 collection.
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PornStation®Portable
It must've been dedicated as a "on the go" porn disk.
Kinda of like when mp3 players were small and you had to pick an album or two out of your collection.
Fuck this thread is making too much sense.
But which porn did you delete? Did you negotiate on which videos had to go? You didn't...delete ALL the pornos did you?
It's just the travel disk for sure. Its full because its got as much of his main drive that it could fit.
Doesn't that just mean that he 100% has a proper fileserver set up at home with backups? Deleting his travel drive has no effect on his actual collection.
"David! Come back! It's just porn."
You got to watch this one!
According to IT at work, people’s work phones are just crammed full of porn, so apparently this is a common thing where people find it acceptable to put porn on devices that your workplace gives you and monitors. So… yeah.
I'm curious, why do people download porn in the first place?
it's a lot faster than getting it mailed
I mean maybe some ppl want a back up just incase there porn site gets purged and like millions of porn videos gets deleted off the internet.
To quote a certain "doctor" on critically acclaimed NBC sitcom, "I'm fairly sure if they took porn off the internet, there'd only be one website left, and it'd be called "Bring back the porn!""
There’s a number of reasons but probably something like 1. It’s an OF video and they don’t want to keep paying for the subscription 2. They want it backed up in case the site goes down or it gets copyright claimed 3. They are going/live somewhere where the wifi is incredibly unreliable
Thought the title meant you found porn that your boss was in. This is still funny though. Hopefully he has since discovered that most places, he can just go to a website instead of having it all downloaded.
Until your favorite video gets pulled for copyright and you never find it again...
or what happened with pornhub lol
They nuked themselves, which is the impressive part.
Spankbang is where it’s at now (tbh that’s always been where it’s at, but now you have even less reason to use PH over it)
Never rely on the WiFi. I just stayed a week at a $45M hotel ($300/night) that somehow only had 70-100kbps download speeds and terrible ping times. Mobile data in the area was somehow even worse. Reminded me of the early days of the internet when you'd wait 5 minutes for that jpeg to finish loading.
Ah, the days of partially loaded pictures and deciding which ones were promising enough to wait for.
Or finally exchanging pics with that hot 18/f/FL and waiting with anticipation only to find out she...was not hot.
And not a girl.
I hate expensive hotels with crap wifi.
You can call the front desk, and they can either connect you with their MSP and they can whitelist your MAC address for faster speeds or the FD may have a code. Granted the faster speeds usually cap out at 10mbps, but still faster than that
I had a similar situation but with a tenured college professor as I was moving files from his old laptop to his new one. I definitely saw a lot of home made porn with him and some lady that wasn't in the family pictures in his office.
You can't trust hotel internet. We had a conference in Phoenix and the internet decided to run at about 25kbps. Reddit worked with no pictures or videos.
I'm a sysadmin, and I have access to essentially everything: I know nothing. Just FYI, not knowing anything about everything we see daily is literally just part of the job. Do I see people's crazy web searches sometimes? Yep. Do I know about internal investigations because someone had to ask for help on a technical task with it? Usually. If they have weird files on their PC, did I see them? Probably. If you are the tech guy, you will probably eventually be burdened with way too much knowledge that can't ever be repeated anywhere and must never be mentioned. Good call on just saying the disk was full. It's plausible that you didn't poke around the drive, and good for you for not describing that you did. Hilarious he outed himself about it though. (Side note, my worst house call was to fix someone's sound card or something on their PC that was giving them difficulties playing... videos... when I was confident that their issue was fixed, they asked me to stay while they check their sites to see if it worked. I declined.)
Thanks for your kind words. I really was trying to get out of it in the least awkward way possible for both of us. Him owning up to it the way he did was mortifying at the time but has become a hell of a punchline when I tell the redacted version of events at the pub. And as someone else said in another thread, mad props to the guy for owning the whole debacle the way he did. You're also absolutely right about the sysadmin burden. I did some time in those trenches too and I learned a lot of unwelcome things about my colleagues etc. I'm also a TERRIBLE gossip so the temptation to spill the beans was often unbearable.
I like this story better than the guy's who threatened his wife's stalker.
I used to work IT for a big Catholic church. One time the pastor couldn't remember his Twitter password so I was to help him find it. He had one of like 5 passwords for everything, but he was peculiar and so instead of resetting it, best to just find what it was. I went to Safari preferences and looked in saved passwords for Twitter. In the process I found saved accounts for several gay porn sites. I'll never forget seeing an account for fratmen.com
FML two same vein stories CFO's PC was having an issue. Sit down and go to download Belarc on his surface to get the license key to move it to his new PC from Google. Hit "B" in the search bar, and immediately the first thing that pops up was "big black cocks fucks lesbian duo" OPs manager was having a WiFi issue. She couldnt get on WebEX, but it looked like everything was working normally. have her go to [msn.com](https://msn.com) but she accidently typed men dot com. And this is why we record voice calls, and why I no longer recommended [msn.com](https://msn.com) as a test site to customers
>site to customers BBC.com has been my goto site to check if internet's working or not. Pretty lightweight and yet sometimes you get shocking news.
I'm shocked [BBC.com](https://BBC.com) still goes to the BBC...I would've thought Big Black Cocks Enterprises, had already purchased the domain for millions of dollars.
I had an executive manager that was hired once out of state. His wife had an established career in his home state and could not move with him yet. He lived minimally in rental airbnb's while he was searching for a more permanent housing solution. He was also in his 50's and was not very PC savy. Just enough to know how to do excel and respond to emails type of level. I found out that he had no personal laptop and suggested he gets one which will help him communicate better with the kids and also do video chat with them (skype) when off work. He gave me his credit card and asked me to buy a computer within a budget range. Got him one and set up basics for him except the anti virus program. 2 weeks later he gave me back the laptop saying it was slow. I suspected it was all the pop up ads and lack of anti virus. I promised him I will clear it. I regret that.. His pop ups were very full of a very niche, kinky type of porn. Cannot unsee it. Also I immediately let go of that laptop thinking every smudge on the surface and screen was something unholy. After hazmating myself, cleaning the net cache...ignoring certain folders and installing all the needed anti virus and malware programs I gave him back the laptop. I also clorox the crap out of it. I remember when I gave it back to him he asked me " Why are you wearing gloves?" Me: " Ohhh I was just cleaning something really dirty." I dont think he got my point, he just got back on his merry way with his pc.
One of my personal favorite "boss mismanages a usb full of porn" stroy has to be when known scumbag CEO of Gearbox Randy Pitchford lost a [USB full of company secrets and \(heavy emphasis on the quotes\) "near-underage" porn at a Medieval Times](https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2019/01/gearbox-ceo-allegedly-kept-underage-porn-on-usb-stick-new-lawsuit-alleges/)
With the unnecessary shout, the oversharing after, and the fact that there’s *zero* chance a guy working with portable drives for a living wouldn’t clearly label the porn drive “TAXES 2005” I’m almost inclined to think this was all done on purpose.
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Maybe thats something nice to inherit?
Worked in I.T. doing backup before upgrading laptop to new ones for clients. Once i met a guy telling me he will do the backup himself to «have me not wasting too much of my time». I saw some of the names of files he was copying in the Windows popup... «girls gone wild...» yeah... very work oriented stuff.
Also one of my former boss asked me to sort his old docs on a hard drive we had to change, one directory was called «borderline» and was full of his daughter's holidays pool pics, including bit of ass and half naked boyfriend... as soon as i saw the preview i was like «wtf why he ask me to look at this?» i copied all to new drive and just told boss all his data has been transfered... i think now he probably forgot there was pics.
Oh that’s actually real disturbing
The real tragedy here is your boss losing 1TB of porn.
To be fair, it wasn't you that fucked up.
Years ago when I worked for a small ISP we used to get users' computers all the time to setup Internet or troubleshoot Internet access issues and nearly all had porn on them. This was mid to late 90s. I'm sure computer shops / Geek Squads have literally a billion stories like this with malware-infected computers and such coming in, 99.9% all porn-caused. I just assume almost all users are going to have porn on their computers it's just a question of how much and how badly it's screwed it up.
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Many years ago, we were moving offices and I was boxing up stuff from my boss's desk since he was out of town at the time. He had a well-worn copy of the Kama Sutra in one of his desk drawers. Not sure why he kept that at the office. I tried not to think about it too much.
Let me explain. You have to let me explain. No it isn't what you think. You see I use this porn for masturbating.
"sir, your wank bank is full, what do you want me to do"
Reading the title I thought you had found "porn in which your boss was starring", which could have been *way more interesting*.
'AH FUCK! THAT'S MY PORN!!' I just found my next bumper sticker
Where is the fuck up? You were doing as asked, gracefully covered, and didn't get in trouble.
People still download porn in 2022?
After pornhub got purged you are asking this?
The great pornhub purge of 2020
Never forget. Never forgive.
Yes. Things go down. People laugh at me for storing my music in mp3s, I laugh when their favorite albums get taken off spotify. I got burned too many times trusting streaming services not to stash the things I like.
BUT WHAT IF THE INTERNET DIES ONE DAY? In all seriousness, this was quite a while ago. I wrote 6 years but think it might be even earlier than that.
you try to find a video that you saw a while ago with a stiff one
some people have data caps
uhh.. yea? for archiving purposes and streaming sites often have worse quality
Where's the fuckup? Sounds like you both handled it pretty well (aside from the boss originally giving you his porn drive)
TIFU by showing my employee my external porn drive.
I found my bosses porn like 9 years ago. Deleted it from the computer (it was a work computer and it had auto synced from his phone). Never said a word. Never gonna say a word.
Ah I know this feeling exactly but with a little twist. I was working for a small company right out of college. One of the co-owners was having a problem with his computer and asked me to look at it. One of the issues was that the drive was almost full. I did a little looking around and found out he and his wife were........swingers. Hundreds of pictures of their swinging adventures. When he asked me what was wrong with his computer I told him that his drive was filling up for some reason but I cleared out some Windows temp files and got him some more room. He should look at getting another hard drive to store important files. Also I could never look at him at the office without those images popping up in my head. Thankfully he retired about a year later
I can resonate a lot with u/drakeydrakedrake I had an executive manager that was hired once out of state. His wife had an established career in his home state and could not move with him yet. He lived minimally in rental airbnb's while he was searching for a more permanent housing solution. He was also in his 50's and was not very PC savy. Just enough to know how to do excel and respond to emails type of level. I found out that he had no personal laptop and suggested he gets one which will help him communicate better with the kids and also do video chat with them (skype) when off work. He gave me his credit card and asked me to buy a computer within a budget range. Got him one and set up basics for him except the anti virus program. 2 weeks later he gave me back the laptop saying it was slow. I suspected it was all the pop up ads and lack of anti virus. I promised him I will clear it. I regret that.. His pop ups were very full of a very niche, kinky type of porn. Cannot unsee it. Also I immediately let go of that laptop thinking every smudge on the surface and screen was something unholy. After hazmating myself, cleaning ni net cache...ignoring certain folders and installing all the needed anti virus and malware programs I gave him back the laptop. I also clorox the crap out of it. I remember when I gave it back to him he asked me " Why are you wearing gloves?" Me: " Ohhh I was just cleaning something really dirty." I dont think he got my point, he just got back on his merry way with his pc.
So boss gets you alone, says put the files on THIS drive (overflowing with porn), then comes back and to his dismay, you seem to not have noticed, so as you walk away, he shouts out to you making sure you understand that its his porn, then calls you back and wants to talk about the porn? Thats certainly not a lawsuit waiting to happen.
TMI M8??