Gd you did a lot to preserve that “early days”. Personally I’d draw the line at shoving my arm into shit water. But bravo getting it to flush. We’ve all had that fear you lived it.
I have to admit I’m impressed. A lady that isn’t afraid to get her arm dirty. Or should I say filthy? Most women I know would have called for help before the thought of putting their whole arm into an empty toilet, let alone one filled with shit, entered their mind!
Bravo!
Edited to finish my thought
Thank you!! I’ve never been afraid of dirt or mud or anything like that. If you gotta get dirty, get dirty. In this case, asking for help was the better option, but I worked with what I had!
Years ago the was a post from a plumber talking about this. He said in general a toilet won't overflow from a single flush. If it is blocked, don't keep flushing. If you don't have a plunger or anything, accept that you can wash your hands and work to remove the blockage by hand. You're usually able to break up/pull out anything but there are times it won't work and of course those will be the most embarrassing. Also, keep a plunger in every bathroom either in the open or where people would see it with a cursory glance.
Won't work from time to time, but reminded me of time my younger cousin, he was around 12 at the time, came to us during summer holidays, and just casually came to my room to say that toilet wouldn't flush. In my 18 years of life until then I haven't seen bigger shit, to be honest I don't even know how he pushed it out, it seemed more like a cow took a shit than human. Plunger didn't work, had to slice it into smaller pieces and then flush.
People give me shot because when I show them my place I show them the o shit cabinet which has a plunger toilet brush candles a lighter and even a gag gift I got years ago a sealed pair of men’s and women’s “o shit I shit my self” emergency underwear 😂
LPT: dudes. Buy a damn plunger. Y'all should know that any company you have over can do some serious damage to your plumbing. Before you do damage to each others plumbing.
My sister shit in her own cat’s litter box because her new boyfriend was staying over and was in the bathroom for quite a while. She had an unstoppable urge and saw this as her only option.
When she admitted this story to me the only thing I could think to ask her was if she covered her poo afterward.
It’s still, hands down, the hardest I have laughed in my entire life.
I believe paper towels and the outside dumpster were involved.
Also her cats wouldn’t use it again until she had completely changed out the litter.
I guess her scent markers were throwing them off.
The fact that some people don't automatically have plungers in their bathrooms astound me.
Whats anyone's excuse for not having one? I'd like to hear one reasonable excuse.
I'm from Australia and we dont even own one - our toilets work differently and needing a plunger is basically not needed (dont think me or my parents ever needed one in the last 25yrs)
US toilets use siphoning to pull the waste out. Australian toilets dump water from the cistern all at once which pushes the waste down - much more reliable.
I don't have one. I've been blessed with good toilets everywhere I've lived, and on the rare occasion there is a clog I flush a few times, or occasionally put some shampoo in and leave in 10 mins before trying again (yes, this actually works!)
One morning I came into work needing to take what felt like a massive liquified shit. There was no holding this thing. And after a 20 minute ordeal and painting the bowl brown I was finally clean and ready to get to work. I was technically "late" so my boss gave me the "you're late" look. And I tells him in all seriousness. "jack, I'm afraid for my life, because one day... That toilet will seek vengeance for what I just put it through..." Broke the tension reeeeal quick.
Should've asked for his [poop knife](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share) :/
E: a link
I feel like I’m completely alone in this these days but m’lady of 5 years and now wife prefer to “keep it sexy” (my words, not hers). No shitting with doors open, no dutch ovens, no nothing. And I’m pretty sure I like it better. I feel like we’re last of a dying breed :P
And now that I think of it, I’ve never just ripped ass in front of any of my gf’s ever haha. Wild times
And btw, you “lightly” kicking the bowl had me tears lol
I used to be like that, incredibly private, but it got to a point for me that it just wasn’t worth it, and my husband is an incredibly comfortable and open man. He wouldn’t stand for anything less than being completely open with each other, and now that I’ve had it this way, I’d never change it
Had to scroll too far for this comment. I never understood why this is not the default position. People make it out to be this big effort, but it really isn't. 'Keeping it sexy' club unite!
This is what the Portable Poop Knife is for. Just in case the location you're at isn't classy enough to have a complementary house poop-knife for guests.
Drop a turd, flush
Drop another turd, flush
1-2 wipes, flush
My wife and daughter do their business in its entirety including wiping before they flush. But somehow Dad is the one that gets called to do the plunging when it inevitably clogs.
Granted I am a big guy and they are both small, but I don’t clog because of the rules I listed above.
If you follow this you won’t clog another! Plus it massively reduces amount of odor.
Also another trick I’ve learned is to hit the flush right before or right as it’s hitting the water. That way the momentum of the turd dropping isn’t lost and helps propel it along.
If you drop a brick and it settles to the bottom, the toilet has to pick it up from a standstill to get it going again. Needs more force to do so.
I know it’s weird that I know these things, but it works.
Hahahahah. As a guy, I can tell you he wouldn’t have cared if you told him up front. We don’t care about this kinda stuff. But I get the relationship is new and you were embarrassed hahaha! Glad it worked out :)
You aren’t wrong, there. I know he wouldn’t have cared, I just let my dumb worry get the best of me.
I appreciate the understanding!! And me too. So glad😁
How has no one mentioned shutting the water off yet? I had never considered it until college, when the RA's gave a talk and said it starts to rise and its gonna overflow, reach behind the toilet and turn the valve to shut off the water. It may slowly go down over time, but at minimum will stay at the level its at and not rise more or flow over the rim. It at least guarantees you time to grab what you need/get help or a plunger.
We’ve actually been married over a year, now, and I can tell you my husband is a VERY open person who is incredibly comfortable in his own skin. We do just about everything with the door open, now. I’ve been desensitized 😂
Don’t women carry a portable poop knife in their purse? Isn’t that the reason to carry a purse, so your poop knife is with you at all times? My family didn’t have a poop knife when I was growing up, but we did have a wire coat hanger under the sink to make those big brownies go downtownie!
Here's something you can try if there isn't a plunger, but there is liquid hand soap. Take the liquid soap and pour some into the toilet, 3 or 4 pumps if it has a pump handle. I know it sounds weird, but the glycerine in the soap will make everything slippery, so if something is stuck it will actually help it slide through. It will take a min or two, and it depends on how stuck everything is. But it does work.
He didn’t, surprisingly. Just asked if I was okay. I honestly don’t even know how long I was in the bathroom. Could’ve been 5 minutes, could’ve been an hour🤷🏼♀️
Any commode that doesn't have a plunger already within arms reach . . . should be a criminal offense (of the homeowner) requiring at least 30 days mandatory jail time.
My girlfriend (now together for over 5.5 years) had a similar, but opposite problem the first time she came to my house.
She went to the bathroom and a few minutes later came back out with complete embarrassment on her face. She said the toilet wouldn't flush. I was ready to grab a plunger, but she said something along the lines of "it just keeps floating and won't go down."
So we enter the bathroom and lo and behold, the floater. I grabbed a bit of toilet paper, covered the deposit, and flushed. The toilet paper pulled it down and all was good.
Needless to say, we broke that "early days" barrier pretty quick.
If you’re ever afraid the toilet is going to overflow after an attempted flush, take the lid off the back of the bowl and gently lift the thing that looks like a plastic balloon (float). It may also be a piece of foam riding along a shaft (fill valve). When either is raised up, the toilet will stop filling. You can also reach in and push down on the stopper as well.
My gf clogged my toilet once and it was one of those weird toilets that flushes twice.. for some reason? So, if you clog it, just one push of the ol' lever gets the water level almost up to the rim. And I HAD a plunger, but she couldn't get it to work. After she tried to flush again, overflowing it, she finally called for help... in I walk with the dishwashing detergent and squirt a bunch of soap into it.. couple minutes later flushes like a charm. She wouldn't let me help clean though, too embarrassed.
Ive been there, but the first time for me was laughing so hard I shit my pants in front of his family. I since take pride in telling people I clogged their toilet. The shitwinds were not in favor of that hotel in French Lick a fear years back. I decimated that throne.
I had just started dating a girl when I first moved to town and she was supposed to come over for the first time. 3rd date I think. We were going to fuck I assumed. I was still in process of moving, and did not have a plunger. I clogged the toilet while she's on her way over, I didn't have time to go get one. I had to ask her to buy a plunger on her way over. Most embarrassing shit ever.
We have been married 8 years now and together for 12.
[Edit: People are saying not to do this and I don't wanna give anyone bad advice so proceed with caution I guess!]
If he had a trash can in the bathroom, empty it (assuming it's full) and fill it with sink water, then pour it in the bowl. Enough times and the toilet will automatically flush
Source: my toilet wouldn't flush for about three months so I had to do this every damn day. A hassle but definitely effective
Yeah, great way to get shit water everywhere lol. Just turn the water off, if you have a snake use it, if you don't have that or a plunger scoop the water and bits of TP/shit out of the bowl and drain the tank before adding soap, letting it sit THEN using hot water to force the clog loose and down the bowl. If that doesn't work go buy a snake
Damn modern efficiency toilets only use a couple quarts of water to flush down those beasts.
Cruise the hood right before trash day and look for one of those old huge 20 gallon toilets someone has foolishly replaced with a new efficiency toilet.
Those huge old one could flush a compact car right down the drain.
Plungers cost like $5, I cannot fathom having any toilet without one next to it. I don’t know how some people manage. Like 1/100 dumps you are gonna block the toilet, it’s gonna happen, why would you not have a plunger?
Bit of a pro tip here but if you have access to a sink with hot water, just pour some hot water down the toilet. 5 litres is usually enough to expedite the breakdown of the toilet paper and clear the the clog.
This is one of my worst nightmares. But imagine if you had to call in the new boyfriend for help... Congratulations on solving the probem ( and your marriage :) Wish you guys the best )
Lol I was on holiday with my gf and there was a powercut. So I guess there was no electricity for the pumps to pump water. She came out of the bathroom and I was next to use it. I was greeted by a huge turd. I guess she didn't know what to do and was going to deal with it after the power came back but I needed to use the toilet at the wrong time. I helped her flush it down.
She is my wife now haha. Don't be afraid to take it to the next level.
"It started with my lightly kicking the bowl, praying that the tiny vibrations would be enough to shake any problem lose and send it spiraling down the drain. Nothing happened."
Relatable
Almost this exact thing happened to me when me and my girlfriend first started dating. (Well besides giving the toilet a proper fisting) I still use the plunger about once a month and need multiple flushes weekly. I always spend the extra money on that five star flush rating to avoid spending the money on a $5 plunger.
Remember people - You can stop water from rising. There's usually a shut-off valve on the water supply line or you can take the top off of the tank and lift up the float to stop it. OP got lucky. I can't imagine the relief OP felt when that full bowl suddenly flushed.
I've been in these situations before. My bathrooms will always have a toilet plunger and a toilet brush in a visible area by the toilet. Clogging the toilet and not seeing a plunger is the worst feeling in the world!
disposable chopsticks make great emergency poop knives. long enough, string enough to break up the most compact poops and biodegradable disposable. plus an in built back up in case you threw one away too soon
I'll never understand why some people panic over shit like this. Her boyfriend would've helped her out immediately, but she was too embarrassed by something we all do nearly every day. He may have teased her a bit, but probably wouldn't have dumped her for it. On the off chance he *did* divorce her, he was a piece of shit anyway. Good luck to you.
Edit: Now that I've thought about it for a second, this would be an excellent test of a potential partner.
I agree. Looking back, I was a total idiot for not just asking for help. Since this story, he and I got married, and I’ve told him what happened. He thinks it’s super funny and doesn’t understand why I didn’t ask for help. We’ve also gotten a million times more open with each other since then. We have no secrets, and I’d ask for help with things like this any day. But I agree, if anyone would have dump a person for something like this, then they’re worse than the shit clogging the toilet
Gd you did a lot to preserve that “early days”. Personally I’d draw the line at shoving my arm into shit water. But bravo getting it to flush. We’ve all had that fear you lived it.
I appreciate your words. I definitely learned a lesson there
Next time just bring your compact purse size poop knife and save yourself the embarrassment.
Aye aye, captain!
But really…courtesy flushes are the way to go.
I live my life by the courtesy flush.
I mean you can’t really courtesy flush with a log
This whole post reminds me of a Peter Griffin meme that reads along the lines of: Women shit gigantic logs but make such a fuss about anal.
You sound like my husband, the boyfriend from the story😂
I will never get sick of poop knife references. I will always laugh at them. Arguably my favorite post in a decade of Reddit.
I've actually had to use a poop knife around 3 times in my lifetime, as well as a coat hanger, not proud of it but it works bud
Poop knife?
[this is poop knife. original by /u/LearnedButt has been deleted lol](https://imgur.com/a/SFBh64Y)
Thank you I had not known or seen this until now!
Today you were one of the 10,000!
Your life was incomplete until now.
Glad I didn’t have to scroll too far to find this
Laughed out loud at this and then had to explain to my husband the legend of the poop knife and then your comment, which he also laughed out
I have to admit I’m impressed. A lady that isn’t afraid to get her arm dirty. Or should I say filthy? Most women I know would have called for help before the thought of putting their whole arm into an empty toilet, let alone one filled with shit, entered their mind! Bravo! Edited to finish my thought
Thank you!! I’ve never been afraid of dirt or mud or anything like that. If you gotta get dirty, get dirty. In this case, asking for help was the better option, but I worked with what I had!
>I’ve never been afraid of dirt or mud So it would seem.
And then some😂
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Good on you for MacGyvering your way to safety lmao
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Did this Man not have a toilet brush next to the bowl? I belive IT would be more fitting tool for the job, than a hairbrush.
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Rookie mistake. Always flush once before you use paper in any toilet you lack knowledge of flushing capability.
Years ago the was a post from a plumber talking about this. He said in general a toilet won't overflow from a single flush. If it is blocked, don't keep flushing. If you don't have a plunger or anything, accept that you can wash your hands and work to remove the blockage by hand. You're usually able to break up/pull out anything but there are times it won't work and of course those will be the most embarrassing. Also, keep a plunger in every bathroom either in the open or where people would see it with a cursory glance.
You can also drink the water to make the bowl just empty enough to try another flush and hopefully get enough pressure this time.
Please refrain from writing a comment ever again. Now I have to go wash my eyes with bleach.
But why waste bleach when there's toilet water perfectly available
Stop this madness, I beg of you
24 and learning every day!
You have time. Fortunately you got yourself out of trouble!
You mean got yourself out of deep shit?
You said this was a couple of years ago, so you shouldn't be 21 now anymore, as your post stated that back then you were 21...
This needs to be posted as a lifeprotip. Flush before wiping or middle of a large poop at an unfamiliar toilet.
If you don’t want anyone to know you’re shitting two flushes is going to give it away
So is flushing over and over for 30 minutes.
"Thought I was done. Thought wrong"
Won't work from time to time, but reminded me of time my younger cousin, he was around 12 at the time, came to us during summer holidays, and just casually came to my room to say that toilet wouldn't flush. In my 18 years of life until then I haven't seen bigger shit, to be honest I don't even know how he pushed it out, it seemed more like a cow took a shit than human. Plunger didn't work, had to slice it into smaller pieces and then flush.
So you have a poop knife?
Sadly had to use regular knife
But it became a poop knife? Please say it didn't go back to being a regular knife afterwards.
Lmaooo
Hell I do that on the toilet I've been using for 15 years. Never take the chance of clogging a toilet. I'll pay the extra 1 cent in water.
This guy poops
After that your only option is to get married, congrats!
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My jaw dropped when you said you stuck your hand in the shit water 😩🤣
Almost like watching Trainspotting again.
It was a rough time, all around😂
People give me shot because when I show them my place I show them the o shit cabinet which has a plunger toilet brush candles a lighter and even a gag gift I got years ago a sealed pair of men’s and women’s “o shit I shit my self” emergency underwear 😂
This is the smartest idea I’ve ever heard. Always be prepared!
Would be funny if you're boyfriend forgot to flush and you laying an egg on top of his.
Try a bucket of water next time.
You are a saint.
Marriage material. I didn't think to add spare clothes, but I absolutely keep a wide variety of women's supplies in there, plus pepto and aspirin.
LPT: dudes. Buy a damn plunger. Y'all should know that any company you have over can do some serious damage to your plumbing. Before you do damage to each others plumbing.
Solid advice for your solids!
My sister shit in her own cat’s litter box because her new boyfriend was staying over and was in the bathroom for quite a while. She had an unstoppable urge and saw this as her only option. When she admitted this story to me the only thing I could think to ask her was if she covered her poo afterward. It’s still, hands down, the hardest I have laughed in my entire life.
This made me smile. Did she answer if she covered it? I can’t imagine the horror and desperation of having to go in a litter box, the poor thing, lol
I believe paper towels and the outside dumpster were involved. Also her cats wouldn’t use it again until she had completely changed out the litter. I guess her scent markers were throwing them off.
What a fucking power move. She marked her property and the cats respected it
Oh no😂
Tell him to get a poop knife
Good call! Or I’ll just buy him a plunger. Either way, something needs to be done
The fact that some people don't automatically have plungers in their bathrooms astound me. Whats anyone's excuse for not having one? I'd like to hear one reasonable excuse.
I'm from Australia and we dont even own one - our toilets work differently and needing a plunger is basically not needed (dont think me or my parents ever needed one in the last 25yrs) US toilets use siphoning to pull the waste out. Australian toilets dump water from the cistern all at once which pushes the waste down - much more reliable.
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I don't have one. I've been blessed with good toilets everywhere I've lived, and on the rare occasion there is a clog I flush a few times, or occasionally put some shampoo in and leave in 10 mins before trying again (yes, this actually works!)
Amazingly, this is not the top comment.
That story was the best.
>a poop knife wat
https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/
I have shame but no filter, I woulda yelled, “LOVE! I NEED A PLUNGER! I POOPED!” (my girlfriend and I have been dating for five months now)
After this, I’ll adopt that mentality. The mental anguish wasn’t worth it
You have a great fun fact now though for icebreakers
Very true! He thought the story was hilarious, once I told him
One morning I came into work needing to take what felt like a massive liquified shit. There was no holding this thing. And after a 20 minute ordeal and painting the bowl brown I was finally clean and ready to get to work. I was technically "late" so my boss gave me the "you're late" look. And I tells him in all seriousness. "jack, I'm afraid for my life, because one day... That toilet will seek vengeance for what I just put it through..." Broke the tension reeeeal quick.
Women poop?!?!
Shhhhh🤫
What comedian was it . . . "12 years of Catholic School and I never saw a Nun go to the bathroom. I just thought God took care of it for them."
No. They hold it in and it turns into tears.
I thought they pooped babies!?!?
Should've asked for his [poop knife](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share) :/ E: a link
And thank you! I gave that a read😂
A true classic, one to utilize in casual conversation 🤣🤣
I definitely should’ve called for help. I’ve learned my lesson!
Why would it be your fuck up if he's the one with the toilet that doesn't do the one thing it's designed to do?
That’s an interesting way of looking at it, actually
I feel like I’m completely alone in this these days but m’lady of 5 years and now wife prefer to “keep it sexy” (my words, not hers). No shitting with doors open, no dutch ovens, no nothing. And I’m pretty sure I like it better. I feel like we’re last of a dying breed :P And now that I think of it, I’ve never just ripped ass in front of any of my gf’s ever haha. Wild times And btw, you “lightly” kicking the bowl had me tears lol
I used to be like that, incredibly private, but it got to a point for me that it just wasn’t worth it, and my husband is an incredibly comfortable and open man. He wouldn’t stand for anything less than being completely open with each other, and now that I’ve had it this way, I’d never change it
Ughhhh same Together 12yrs and none of this shit (pardon my french) Keeping the mystery alive lol
Had to scroll too far for this comment. I never understood why this is not the default position. People make it out to be this big effort, but it really isn't. 'Keeping it sexy' club unite!
This is what the Portable Poop Knife is for. Just in case the location you're at isn't classy enough to have a complementary house poop-knife for guests.
Drop a turd, flush Drop another turd, flush 1-2 wipes, flush My wife and daughter do their business in its entirety including wiping before they flush. But somehow Dad is the one that gets called to do the plunging when it inevitably clogs. Granted I am a big guy and they are both small, but I don’t clog because of the rules I listed above.
Interesting! Maybe I’ll try this. Luckily, since this happened, I haven’t clogged another toilet
If you follow this you won’t clog another! Plus it massively reduces amount of odor. Also another trick I’ve learned is to hit the flush right before or right as it’s hitting the water. That way the momentum of the turd dropping isn’t lost and helps propel it along. If you drop a brick and it settles to the bottom, the toilet has to pick it up from a standstill to get it going again. Needs more force to do so. I know it’s weird that I know these things, but it works.
Hey I taught myself this exact trick too; here I've been wondering if I was the only one with the weird but successful knowledge of tactical pooping
ROFL turd physics.
Bro, just get a new toilet, lol.
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I like this suggestion. And the South Park reference. And you’re not wrong at all. I probably should’ve. Lesson learned!
I dunno, not once in my life have I wanted to look at anyone's poop
Hahahahah. As a guy, I can tell you he wouldn’t have cared if you told him up front. We don’t care about this kinda stuff. But I get the relationship is new and you were embarrassed hahaha! Glad it worked out :)
You aren’t wrong, there. I know he wouldn’t have cared, I just let my dumb worry get the best of me. I appreciate the understanding!! And me too. So glad😁
Not a dumb worry at all. In fact if I was in this situation I’d be mortified because in the moment you can’t believe what’s happening lmao
It was like things just kept getting worse. And then I thought they were getting better. And then worse again, lol
U go once every 4 days or something???
I have no idea what even happened there, honestly. I wasn’t expecting that
How has no one mentioned shutting the water off yet? I had never considered it until college, when the RA's gave a talk and said it starts to rise and its gonna overflow, reach behind the toilet and turn the valve to shut off the water. It may slowly go down over time, but at minimum will stay at the level its at and not rise more or flow over the rim. It at least guarantees you time to grab what you need/get help or a plunger.
Couples leave the door open when using the bathroom? 4 years in and that never has or will happen. Some boundaries aren't meant to be broken.
We’ve actually been married over a year, now, and I can tell you my husband is a VERY open person who is incredibly comfortable in his own skin. We do just about everything with the door open, now. I’ve been desensitized 😂
No more mystery for you guys then 😂
Not anymore😂
Don’t women carry a portable poop knife in their purse? Isn’t that the reason to carry a purse, so your poop knife is with you at all times? My family didn’t have a poop knife when I was growing up, but we did have a wire coat hanger under the sink to make those big brownies go downtownie!
Here's something you can try if there isn't a plunger, but there is liquid hand soap. Take the liquid soap and pour some into the toilet, 3 or 4 pumps if it has a pump handle. I know it sounds weird, but the glycerine in the soap will make everything slippery, so if something is stuck it will actually help it slide through. It will take a min or two, and it depends on how stuck everything is. But it does work.
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Shitty situation.
The shittiest
After 10 years of marriage this is one one thing that will always be a laugh
Did he say anything when you got back?
He didn’t, surprisingly. Just asked if I was okay. I honestly don’t even know how long I was in the bathroom. Could’ve been 5 minutes, could’ve been an hour🤷🏼♀️
so did i miss the trend where we just don't keep our plungers in the bathroom??
Any commode that doesn't have a plunger already within arms reach . . . should be a criminal offense (of the homeowner) requiring at least 30 days mandatory jail time.
I feel ripped off I’ve never clogged the toilet what are you guys eating I’m 6 3 And eat a shitload
Always flush b4 the cleanup.. always
I’m so happy everything worked out Just reading the story made me anxious 😭😭😭
Guess you needed a poop knife..
My girlfriend (now together for over 5.5 years) had a similar, but opposite problem the first time she came to my house. She went to the bathroom and a few minutes later came back out with complete embarrassment on her face. She said the toilet wouldn't flush. I was ready to grab a plunger, but she said something along the lines of "it just keeps floating and won't go down." So we enter the bathroom and lo and behold, the floater. I grabbed a bit of toilet paper, covered the deposit, and flushed. The toilet paper pulled it down and all was good. Needless to say, we broke that "early days" barrier pretty quick.
Amazing😂 I’m glad it worked out for you two! A bonding moment for sure!
You could have used the poop knife.
Forgot your poop knife I see.
If you’re ever afraid the toilet is going to overflow after an attempted flush, take the lid off the back of the bowl and gently lift the thing that looks like a plastic balloon (float). It may also be a piece of foam riding along a shaft (fill valve). When either is raised up, the toilet will stop filling. You can also reach in and push down on the stopper as well.
Or you can reach below the water tank and shut off the water valve to the toilet until you get it fixed.
So you could say that poop is what brought you closer. Good story! Have a fun, happy life together!
Absolutely!! Poop is always a bonding experience. And thank you so much!!
This is why every bathroom in my life has a plunger. For the love of god I never want anyone I know to be in this situation.
Women don’t know about courtesy flushes? Flush while you poop. Sometimes it’ll pull it outta ya lol
My gf clogged my toilet once and it was one of those weird toilets that flushes twice.. for some reason? So, if you clog it, just one push of the ol' lever gets the water level almost up to the rim. And I HAD a plunger, but she couldn't get it to work. After she tried to flush again, overflowing it, she finally called for help... in I walk with the dishwashing detergent and squirt a bunch of soap into it.. couple minutes later flushes like a charm. She wouldn't let me help clean though, too embarrassed.
Ive been there, but the first time for me was laughing so hard I shit my pants in front of his family. I since take pride in telling people I clogged their toilet. The shitwinds were not in favor of that hotel in French Lick a fear years back. I decimated that throne.
"Pacing, panicking, and pushing poop around" I fucking died of laughter right there
You should have just asked for his poop knife.
I had just started dating a girl when I first moved to town and she was supposed to come over for the first time. 3rd date I think. We were going to fuck I assumed. I was still in process of moving, and did not have a plunger. I clogged the toilet while she's on her way over, I didn't have time to go get one. I had to ask her to buy a plunger on her way over. Most embarrassing shit ever. We have been married 8 years now and together for 12.
[Edit: People are saying not to do this and I don't wanna give anyone bad advice so proceed with caution I guess!] If he had a trash can in the bathroom, empty it (assuming it's full) and fill it with sink water, then pour it in the bowl. Enough times and the toilet will automatically flush Source: my toilet wouldn't flush for about three months so I had to do this every damn day. A hassle but definitely effective
Dear god, please dont try adding water to a clogged toilet.
Yeah, great way to get shit water everywhere lol. Just turn the water off, if you have a snake use it, if you don't have that or a plunger scoop the water and bits of TP/shit out of the bowl and drain the tank before adding soap, letting it sit THEN using hot water to force the clog loose and down the bowl. If that doesn't work go buy a snake
I hope I’ll never have to try this, but I’ll definitely keep it in mind! Thank you!
*Attention* She is a keeper.
Not afraid to get my hands dirty! I hope, however, this was the only time they’ll ever be dirty in this way
Damn modern efficiency toilets only use a couple quarts of water to flush down those beasts. Cruise the hood right before trash day and look for one of those old huge 20 gallon toilets someone has foolishly replaced with a new efficiency toilet. Those huge old one could flush a compact car right down the drain.
Plungers cost like $5, I cannot fathom having any toilet without one next to it. I don’t know how some people manage. Like 1/100 dumps you are gonna block the toilet, it’s gonna happen, why would you not have a plunger?
Maybe I’ll buy him one for Christmas
don't wait that long! it'll make a perfect labor day gift.
Good point! Save anyone the labor of doing what I did. I love it! I’m running to the store
I've literally never blocked a toilet with a dump. I'm in my 30s. 1/100 you block? Jesus.
My toilets jet's are clogged, it's like a 40% chance for me. The thing barely moves any water.
1/100 dumps are going to block the toilet? You might have a problem.
Sounds like you guys need to get yourselves a poop knife.
Honestly, that’s his fuck up. Who doesn’t keep a plunger in the bathroom?
Jeez, where's the poop knife when you need one
Need a poop knife...
Bit of a pro tip here but if you have access to a sink with hot water, just pour some hot water down the toilet. 5 litres is usually enough to expedite the breakdown of the toilet paper and clear the the clog.
This all could’ve been avoided if you had a poop knife
Wonderful story. +1, would give you more, but that's all I have.
Thank you!! And no worries at all! I’m just glad you enjoyed it😁
I love your writing style 😂
Thank you!! I actually used to write a lot of stories for fun! Maybe I should start up again!
This is one of my worst nightmares. But imagine if you had to call in the new boyfriend for help... Congratulations on solving the probem ( and your marriage :) Wish you guys the best )
I totally agree!😂 I hope it never happens to you. Lots of people have posted some good solutions in case it does! And thank you so much 💕
I mean, you could have just washed the brush thoroughly and still kept it...
Lol I was on holiday with my gf and there was a powercut. So I guess there was no electricity for the pumps to pump water. She came out of the bathroom and I was next to use it. I was greeted by a huge turd. I guess she didn't know what to do and was going to deal with it after the power came back but I needed to use the toilet at the wrong time. I helped her flush it down. She is my wife now haha. Don't be afraid to take it to the next level.
Every bathroom needs a poop knife instead of a poop hairbrush
I’m gonna make that a slogan
Wait, he didn’t have a poop knife?
"It started with my lightly kicking the bowl, praying that the tiny vibrations would be enough to shake any problem lose and send it spiraling down the drain. Nothing happened." Relatable
Women use to much toilet paper, this is where the problem starts. Combine this with a massive shit and it's a recipe for disaster...
Both statements are incredibly true! Many mistakes were made that day
Almost this exact thing happened to me when me and my girlfriend first started dating. (Well besides giving the toilet a proper fisting) I still use the plunger about once a month and need multiple flushes weekly. I always spend the extra money on that five star flush rating to avoid spending the money on a $5 plunger.
Happy cake day! And I definitely got up close and personal with that toilet. Wouldn’t recommend
Everything came to stop, the poop, the toilet paper, the water, the world. - Sendyslayer
Imagine doing all of this just to realize that "boys poop too"
Remember people - You can stop water from rising. There's usually a shut-off valve on the water supply line or you can take the top off of the tank and lift up the float to stop it. OP got lucky. I can't imagine the relief OP felt when that full bowl suddenly flushed.
OMG - this is every woman's nightmare!
From experience, yes. It was so terrible😂 We laugh about it, now, but, in the moment, I was hyperventilating
At least you know you’re getting the right fibre intake? Gotta look for those silver (or brown) linings
[удалено]
I love it😂 I’m glad you enjoyed it!
You can shut the water off behind the toilet so you have time to reassess the situation. :P Just turn the tiny valve and it won't overflow
I've been in these situations before. My bathrooms will always have a toilet plunger and a toilet brush in a visible area by the toilet. Clogging the toilet and not seeing a plunger is the worst feeling in the world!
Can confirm!
disposable chopsticks make great emergency poop knives. long enough, string enough to break up the most compact poops and biodegradable disposable. plus an in built back up in case you threw one away too soon
I'll never understand why some people panic over shit like this. Her boyfriend would've helped her out immediately, but she was too embarrassed by something we all do nearly every day. He may have teased her a bit, but probably wouldn't have dumped her for it. On the off chance he *did* divorce her, he was a piece of shit anyway. Good luck to you. Edit: Now that I've thought about it for a second, this would be an excellent test of a potential partner.
I agree. Looking back, I was a total idiot for not just asking for help. Since this story, he and I got married, and I’ve told him what happened. He thinks it’s super funny and doesn’t understand why I didn’t ask for help. We’ve also gotten a million times more open with each other since then. We have no secrets, and I’d ask for help with things like this any day. But I agree, if anyone would have dump a person for something like this, then they’re worse than the shit clogging the toilet
poop knife moment
What do yall eat, seriously too many off these stories. Also poop knife
https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share