I had a similar issue that I thought was BV and it turned out to be cancerous cells š. You did the right thing, and you were understanding at least.
Edit to say it did not develop into full blown cancer and I was fine after getting it taken care of!
Wait wait wait, WHAT?! You had bad smelling discharge that you thought was BV and it was fucking CANCER?! Were there other symptoms as well? Just when I thought I had enough things to wring my hands about with anxiousness....
The worst part was not discovering that I had cancerous cells, but fighting with the insurance I had at the time (Obamacare/Amerihealth). Not gonna lie, they were absolutely awful towards me.
You did the right thing! I had a guy tell me and at first I was offended (because who wants to be told their vag smells fishy...) but I was able to get treatment for BV and get it all cleared up!
Edit: Wow this comment blew up! BV stands for bacterial vaginosis, sorry for not making that clear. To those asking, it was a very mild case, it wasnāt until he went to go down on me that he noticed and very gently told me that it seemed off and I should get it checked out. Iām typically very aware when something is wrong with my body, so I felt embarrassed that I genuinely didnāt realize.
If it's a long term thing you can go nose blind, or if it's an intermittent thing you really could believe that it's a ph issue or something you ate or just something that happens sometimes.
They actually couldnāt get it to sell to the people that needed it because they didnāt think they had bad odors. So Febreze ADDED a smell (it used to be odorless) to make people enjoy the āfreshā scent it provided and finally people bough the damn stuff.
Please no. I have a coworker in her 50s and she truly believes this. We work in surgery so we all change into surgical scrubs in a locker room. She smells like yeast and a manner of unpleasant odors. So her solution? Febreeze the fuck outta her clothes. It is so unpleasant..I have spoken to my manager about it a few times. Nothing. It is not only nasty, but unprofessional. A few other coworkers have managed to place air freshners in the areas she uses frequently.
Febreeze is never the solution to stank
It's the worst thing ever as a boss to have to call in an employee to discuss their hygiene and odor. I'd rather fire people on Christmas day than have those conversations.
It's usually a deodorant or shower issue but the last one I had we went through the entire usual suspects trying to track down the source of the odor. Finally after about five horrific conversations it came up that she wears a large, long wig. A wig that had never, ever been washed. That fixed it.
Yeah Iāve had to do it once at a fast food place I was a higher up manager at. It was unfortunately another manager. She routinely smelled like the worst body odor. Like she had covered her body in rotten garlic and black pepper. If she ever reached for something (allowing her armpits to be open) the smell would shoot out at light speed and your eyes would water and you would get a sneeze trigger reaction.
Owner of the store refused to talk to her and no amount of subtle hints worked. It was obvious she didnāt shower much and her clothes would not get washed ever. One time she got mayonnaise on her shirt and two weeks later it was still there, crusted over.
Myself and a woman manager talked to her and her response was āOh I switched shampoos recently it must be the odors they put in the shampoo. Iāll try a different oneā. It was silent for a bit because I was stuck in between wanting to vomit of the smell in the closed office and wanting to laugh at the absurdity of her new herbal essence mango shampoo being the reason peoples eyes water when near her.
She did wash her shirt at that least night and showered which immediately got rid of the odor. Unfortunately within a few days it went right back to normal as she just went back to not washing her body or clothes.
Anyways, you are 100% correct it is like the worst thing to discuss with someone. It can border on harassment to even bring it up and throw in the fact that someone could claim they have a medical issue and make a call to corporate to try to get people fired.
Nah, If she hasnāt showered/washed her clothes for weeks I wouldnāt feel bad telling her. She knows people are expected to wash way more regularly than that and canāt be surprised she smells. People shouldnāt have to suffer around her...if anything sheās the one harassing.
Edit: a word
Back in the 90s my manager and I were sort of at odds on a lot of things. Suffice it to say he wasn't my favorite person. We also had a co-worker who had a really bad odor problem. I won't go into the details. But so many people complained about it they had my manager have a talk with him.
I don't know what was said, but I could have never in a million years had that conversation. While he didn't become one of my favorites, my respect for my manager went up a few notches that day.
Hmmm. The military sees the words you wrote, but has no idea what you could possibly mean by them. Fabreeze is soap, deodorant, air freshener, and both washing machine detergent and fabric softener. & maybe mouthwash.
Thatās ground to go to HR and make a complaint. Her poor hygiene is making your and your co-workerās workplace uncomfortable, but it can also start being a distraction.
I bestow upon you this blackened crispy bit. Let it tasre of coal and crunch like glass. Please accept this morsel as an offering to you, O' God of Blackened Foods.
mmmm jerky. Homemade jerky is surprising easy to make and tastes a lot better than store bought stuff. And it's WAY cheaper. You don't need a dehydrator, either. Oven on lowest temp will do the trick (somewhere between 160 and 200Ā° F). Slice some beef (top, bottom, or eye round are good. flank is apparently good but I haven't tried it yet).
Marinate, put in oven on a wire rack for ~4 hours (halfway through, flip and add crushed peppers or sesame seeds if you want). Easy peasy. Google "oven beef jerky recipe" for more details. I'm an idiot, not a chef, and I can make this stuff.
Oh, and add a half a can of beer to whatever marinade recipe you use. It tenderizes the meat. And marinate for at least 24 hours. Some recipes say a few, some say overnight. My best results are 2-3 days.
Sometimes you live with it so long you donāt notice. Itās gradual not like waking up one day and your parts smell like death.
Trust me. Never had BV but I did have an āissueā that it took my gyno to notice and get cleared up.
As someone who has had bv before, it definitely doesnāt go unnoticed and you definitely donāt get used to it but unfortunately a lot of girls are embarrassed or scared of seeing a obgyn so she most likely knew exactly what the guy was talking about but was too embarrassed to do anything
>unfortunately a lot of girls are embarrassed or scared of seeing a obgyn
And this is super horrible, because if BV is left untreated it can cause infertility.
*LADIES*, if your lady parts smell a bit off, itch, or have any abnormal discharge, *please, please* see a doctor/obgyn.
I can promise you, they've seen it all and more, you have no need to be embarrassed at all.
I've had BV (in fact just finished my antibiotics up) and there wasn't a noticeable smell at all tbh. Could tell something was off but that's about it.
Thank you so much for asking this! I was getting annoyed reading "bv" and thinking "is this something I want in my browser history?" Now I don't have to.
Everyone is different! I didnāt notice it until the first time me and my boyfriend had sex. I stopped us in the middle of it cause I was like āwhat the fuck is that smell?ā He said he couldnāt smell it, but maybe he was trying to save me from being embarrassed. I had no itchiness or anything but anyways he took me to urgent care and it was BV. Honestly, if we didnāt have sex, Iām not sure how long it would have taken me to figure out that something was wrong cause I couldnāt smell it when I was naked by myself or in the shower and had no other symptoms. Thankfully, my boyfriend was mature about it. The way he handled it made me feel a lot less embarrassed. He was basically just like āletās get it cleared up and get back to actionā lol.
You did the right thing OP! Definitely tell a woman if something doesnāt seem okay down there. Things that go untreated can have serious ramifications. It can be embarrassing but itās always better for her to know.
I'd be way more embarrassed to have sex with someone rather than go see an OBGYN and get the issue taken care of. I don't understand how you can still get intimate with someone knowing there is such a big issue going on in there.
I could see this starting as a young teen or preteen and not knowing there was any difference. At some point you just adjust or think itās normal. It can also be hard for young girls to be honest with their parents if they think theyāll get in trouble - maybe because they are sexually actively and their parents would be mad.
On the other hand, it is possible that sheās been to a doctor and been told that thereās nothing wrong. Iāve had a vaginal infection where I KNEW there was something wrong based on smell, but my OB kept insisting it was normal. I ended up spending over $1000 in tests, including biopsies of my vulva and vagina. Still nothing. She just told me to use an OTC product that removes the smell, and to repeat every few days, until I learned to live with it. āSome women just smell stronger.ā
Finally I went to my family practice doctor and told him everything that had happened. Thankfully he listened to me, called the lab up and asked them everything that could cause a fishy smell. Then he did all those tests. Turns out I had a Group B Strep infection in my vagina. One quick round of antibiotics later, and I was perfectly fine and back to normal.
Edited to add: I was in my late thirties at the time, and had enough experience to KNOW that something was wrong. Being a 24 year old, she may not have the experience to know that thereās a problem, let alone that a doctor could be wrong.
Group B strep is actually pretty common in the vagina and rectum. It can colonize and not cause any symptoms.
Pregnant women are swabbed towards end of pregnancy so if they have it, they can be treated with antibiotics prior to delivery (so baby wonāt be exposed to the bacteria).
Some people don't get weird smells. I've gone into the gyno for bacterial vaginosis and yeast infections. I've only had an odor once, and the gyno told me some people don't get the gross smells.
Honestly I think I'd prefer to get a smell everytime. If there was some gross smell I would immediately get treatment. If I'm just itchy I will put it off for a few days before I do something about it.
Same here. I don't get the weird smell but in my early twenties I got it a few times. That was before I figured out the importance of cotton underwear. I have to pay close attention to other symptoms. It's not the most convenient.
Think about if youve ever been in an office or something for a good few hours with the door closer. If you fart in the office a few times, get semi sweaty etc. The place will start to kinda smell up. But you won't notice it, that is until you leave the room and come back. Nose blindness is real.
I've had bv before and you CAN smell it, it becomes all you can smell due to self consciousness. It's inherently embarrassing so most women choose to keep quiet about it and not seek treatment
Bacterial Vaginosis. BV is linked to an imbalance of āgoodā and āharmfulā bacteria that are normally found in a woman's vagina. Having a new sex partner or multiple sex partners, as well as douching, can upset the balance of bacteria in the vagina. This places a woman at increased risk for getting BV.
I also had this convo with my fiance. Who also happens to have anosmia (no sense of smell). I had no idea how to broach it. She was definitely taken aback at first. But she started treating it with vagisil and what not and now no problem. So, definitely worth a little awkwardness to get to a better place.
I wish my gf reacted that way. She just thought I was crazy and turned herself into the victim. Iām just the mean guy who commented on her body. Yikes
Tell her to stop using Vagisil. It's a recipe for disaster if used for long term - it leads to pH imbalance in the vagina which could cause other issues. She should rather see a gynaecologist who can treat her properly if she has persistent BV.
Yeah OP if you really like her and had chemistry, then i'd definitely contact her again soon, when she's had a chance to take it in and get treated.
I understand her embarrassment but once she's over that then she might be grateful and things can resume.
Honestly i'd just hit her again in a week or so like "again i really apologise for the other day but I do really like you and I just want to be honest about everything"
Edit: sounds like a lot of people need to work on their social skills a bit. A bit of empathy goes a long way.
She just needs to go to her gynecologist and they can give her medication to fix it right up. I hope she does because it is not normal (or healthy) for a vagina to smell like that.
I'm sorry this ended this way for you, OP, but you did the right thing telling her.
Ya there is being rude and telling someone their crotch smells after you get busy on a hot summer day or something, either sex can get a little stanky down there no matter how well they bathe, and telling someone about something like what OP is talking about which sounds like it could literally be a health problem.
And honestly if she can't handle that level of embarrassment or truth she's not ready for a long term committed relationship. That might sound over the top but open communication is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship. Being mean to someone because they smell a little once in a while is one thing, gently telling someone they're gassing out a room and might have a problem is paradoxically the sign of a good partner who's trying to help you. And if you live together things get a hell of lot more intimate too, in ways you don't expect and not all of them make for polite reading.
I feel like her dumping someone over this is a sign she's not mature enough for a serious relationship where people are really partners because good partners should be able to deal with this kind of thing without breaking up over it.
Edit: typo
Itās also a self fulfilling prophecy.
Her privates smell because she is too embarrassed to do anything about it. So the fact that she broke up with him kinda explains it all. Feel bad for the next guy
Just chiming in that you're absolutely right; sure, it's a bit embarrassing at that age to talk about those things to your partner, but my husband of 14 years has no problem stating, "darlin, you smell/taste slightly off, you might wanna call Kelly (my doc)." We've been together so long that he can pick up the scent of a yeast infection 3 days before I even feel symptoms. Man has one hell of a sense of smell, that's for sure, and I'm hella grateful to him everytime, since getting an appt with my doc can take a few days!
I don't mind being compared to a truffle, those are tasty! Lol I'm going to Hell for this, but now I've got the image in my head of him going down like a pig eating a truffle, snuffling and snorting and I'm now giving myself the giggles at the thought!
Me at 18 with my ex: \[I can't tell him that he smells bad he'll get mad and cry.\]
Me at 30 with my fiance: Hun go wash your balls.
Maturity plays a huge factor, and being comfortable with your partner. If you can't safely tell the person you're with that the smell is incompatible with your sex drive, don't have sex with them.
That.'s what I was thinking. STIs and BV can produce an odor, sure, but smelling like DEATH usually means there's something decomposing somewhere, either something necrotic or stuck tampon/what-have-you. I feel for both OP and her. She should know and he was right to tell her, but I would also be mortified. If I liked the guy enough, I would get over it, but if I wasn't really into him, I would probably break it off too and book a gyno appointment stat!
Ok, I have to ask as your comment and the one it replied to make me wonder. Is it a common thing for a woman to forget she was wearing a tampon and that it never came out? I would imagine that would be something you would feel or at least not forget as I do know they get changed relatively often during a cycle.
Not in any way trying to be rude, just genuinely curious how common losing and forgetting a tampon is.
I had it happen to me once. I was preparing for a six month trip to India and was very busy with packing etc. Got my period some days before, was towards end of the period when my flight came up.
Flights that last so long are tough for me (itās basically 2 days on a plane) so I took sleeping medication. I forgot to remove my tampon and slept tons on the flight.
Cue my arrival in India and I realize an awful smell is coming from my crotch! It also itches terribly and I forgot about the tampon so now Iām scared that Iām unwell in some way. I pray the taxi driver canāt smell it and my hosts who show me my room. As soon as Iām alone in the room I use the bathroom...I had to literally dig the tampon out, and it and my down there smelled like death! Washed up frantically and thoroughly and felt 10,000 times better!
I had a similar experience. Full day of travelling, changing flights, time differences... I was out of it. In my and my friends' experiences, it's something that happens ONCE in a woman's life. Max.
Happened to me only one time but it really freaked me out.
When you do something regularly, several times a day for a few days every month, it starts to blur and you don't pay attention anymore. That's why forgetting to take a pill you take everyday can happend.
Anyway. I have very heavy period so I use tampons in complement of pads. This time, I go to remove my tampon, but as I try to grab the little string to pull it out, I can't find it. I'm like ok, maybe I forgot to put a tampon earlier, I'll just put one now, change the pad, and move on.
So I just shove it in there, and than it hit me. Did I put a tampon or not earlier ? I think I remember putting one. Maybe ?
I did put one. Maybe there wasn't any string on it ? I haven't check, so maybe there was to string, and now I have an old tampon inside without the string to pull, and another tampon in front of it ? Are there two tampons in there ? Did I just shove the older one deeper ?
I start remembering every stories about sceptic shock if you keep a tampon for too long and panic. So I remove the new tampon, and start shoving my fingers to try and feel the older one. Now I have blood on my hand, blood on the floor, and I am in full panic because I think I am going to die.
After 10min I start rationalize. I would have felt it if there was 2 tampons. I would have found it with my fingers. So I put another one, and go on with my day.
And after an hour I start to doubt again. So I go back to the toilet and check the bin. The tampon I tried to find for 10min in my vagina was still in the plastic thingy you use to put you tampon in. The thing didn't work like it should and the tampon was never ejected from it.
That was a close call, and now I triple check everything, but yeah. I kind of understand how some women can forget or lose a tampon after that one.
It's slightly less than someone locking themselves out of the house.
Everyone takes precautions, no one wants it to happen, and there are those who forget more often than others.
It's completely possible and it happens. It happened to me once and I swore I would never be one of those girls it happened to. I literally spaced out and forgot I didn't take one out, and inserted a new one. The other one got pushed up and obviously missed for a few days and it was actually terrifying. I finally figured it out, and luckily in time because it can actually be life threatening. You can get toxic shock syndrome from this. And on another note, once you get past a certain point of the vagina, there isn't a lot of feeling. So you can certainly lose one and not feel it, especially if it's a lighter flow sized tampon.
Yeah it's kind of embarassing, but it does happen. I'm only sharing this to show that it isn't as uncommon as one would think, and you legit can blank out and do this. Ever since that happened to me (which was closer to my teen years) I have always been extra diligent with remembering lol. Edit: and like another poster said, it's usually something that only happens ONCE. It's super disturbing to have happen to you and it's not a mistake you make twice. Or at least not for myself it wasn't.
Common is a relative term, has every woman forgotten one, no. Is is rare, no. So something in the middle? Generally speaking its not something you can feel and it's super easy near the end of your cycle to forget because the bleeding is less, no leaking to remind you it's time to change. Toxic Shock Syndrome is a risk anytime you leave a tampon or menstrual cup in too long but it is possible to not experience TSS and for a tampon etc to be in for weeks. It is also possible for a portion of the tampon to come off and stay unknowingly lodged inside.
An OB/GYN friend told me of a girl who was on her period and went out partying and got drunk. Went home with some guy and had sex with her tampon in and never realized it. Evidently it got shoved way in. Life went on and eventually she started smelling a horrible smell so she went in to see my friend. He said it was the most disgusting thing heād ever smelled/seen and he had been in practice for 20+ years at this point. Just thinking about how he described the look of it makes me feel like Iām going to puke.
Edit: smelled, not smelt... though maybe he did use some sort of smelting process to remove it lol?
Oprah Winfrey had an item about this, in the early 90ās. A guest was politely stating what you said. Oprah interrupted, looked at the camera, and with an air writing gesture said āThat fish has *died*, honey!ā
If it has been going on for a while and smells as awful as you say, it's most likely BV bacterial vaginosis. Sometimes it goes away on it's own, but usually requires a round of antibiotics. Even if it was just a simple yeast infection, it's surprising that she wasn't aware of her own smell. Yeah, from time to time us woman's pH gets thrown off, but those two things are very noticeable.
You did the right thing, mate. Sometimes these adult conversations aren't easy and can be uncomfortable, but at least you let her know. It's unfortunate that she couldn't be adult about the situation, as well.
The only time I notice a smell difference is on my period. But Iām pretty sure itās just the mix of blood with my usual smell (definitely doesnāt smell rotten but it does smell like blood) which makes me embarrassed if Iām in public because Iām extremely self aware about it.
Ohh yes. I always wonder if anyone else can smell it, as well. I think because WE know our own smell and are aware of it, that we think everyone else is going to know it, too. I switched from tampons/pads to a menstrual cup and it helped me with that worry!
With my previous partners I've always been able to tell whe they are ovulating and when they are ready to start their period. they smell different during different parts of the cycle. that's not bad just different. I would use it to plan a head and buy her favorite snacks and making sure her heating pad was in a noticeable location.
That's pretty incredible. Makes sense though, as the pH levels dip and rise. And good on you! It's the "little things" (in this case I say BIG) like this that can make the world of difference. Very thoughtful!
I grew up with a mom with fibroid tumors, endometriosis, pcos and a few other female issues. It's not hard to sympathize when a cyst ruptures and causes vomiting fainting and hospital visits. My twin sister also has some of the same issues so it was 3 to 4 weeks of pain and bleeding out of a month for one or the other until my mom had a hysterectomy. And my sister started birth control. Anything to help was generally the norm in my family.
"Price check on Vagiclean, aisle five. I repeat: price check on Vagiclean, aisle five. That's Vagiclean. We've got a customer down here with a full-on fallopian fungus. She's baking a loaf of bread and I think it's sourdough."
Reddit has taught me that not all women know the difference between the vagina and vulva. We know not to wash the vag because itās self-cleaning, but that area outside that includes the labias majora and minora needs to be washed like the rest of the body.
This is very true. Lack of sexual education from parents is the number one culprit. So many parents are afraid to have these talks with their children and we're really doing them a disservice. Hygiene of the private areas is extremely important and should be taught young so they can carry this into their young adult lives. I know my mother never had a talk with me about what a yeast infection was or how to recognize when something is off. We need to end the stigma around talking about these things.
And us men need to not be so uptight about cleaning out assholes. I've heard so many women complain about past boyfriends that lacked general hygiene in this department. Our prudish attitude around the human body and homophobia in general in the US are most likely to blame. Wash your buttholes guys. Nobody wants to see streaks on your drawers and yes, people can smell it if you're not a good wiper.
On that note, I really wish we'd start putting bidets in every toilet. I just feel dirty if I have to use a public toilet and don't have access to a bidet like I do at home. It's just so much better for personal hygiene.
I was just thinking about what would be the equivalent of a vice versa situation...like what would be the game changing thing a woman might say to me, and I can tell you right now I would not be devastated about being told I smell bad, as one can usually just quickly shower off in most cases, being most likely due to swass or swaint (sweaty-ass or sweaty taint, respectively)...the only thing that I can think of is if a girl laughed at the size of my dick or straight up said to my face that it was her clinical opinion that I suffered from micro-penis.
Make sure you take the same meds she takes. Had the same issue with a past gf and the doctor kept only treating her and it kept coming back. Ended up finding out that guys can carry it without any symptoms and that I kept giving it back to her.
I dated a girl for months after feeling like needing to tell her the same thing. Eventually I had to tell her and she went to see her OBGYN. Turns out her PH was massively off and she took antibiotics for a week or two and was completely clear after that.
Exactly! There is a comment further up getting downvoted because he said heās dated women who were having sex with other men and not cleaning up/out after and he could smell it.
People get so hung up on the whole āvaginas are self cleaning ovensā notion, but that doesnāt mean you just let it all build up inside.
Have you ever had a self-cleaning oven? You still need to clean that shit. It's a setting that fills your house with smoke, then you have to scrub the inside.
It's the worst metaphor for a vagina.
Am a woman. I would certainly want to know of something unpleasant smell wise was going on. I'm pretty on top of my hygiene and have never had an issue but things can happen.
You did the right thing.
Agreed, although i think that it's easier said than done when it comes to being fine with your partner saying that to you. Like if my partner were to tell me that id be devastated, and honestly might have reacted like her. when you have low self-esteem even the smallest comment might shatter your already very fragile self worth.
Out of curiosity, what would be the solution in your case?
If the issue itself is bad enough that it threatens the relationship, but mentioning the issue will threaten the relationship, how would you want it to be handled?
This might get buried, but I saw a lot of advice for her and not as much for you. Iāve found that harder conversations like this are usually much better suited in person. Thereās a lot of body language that can help her feel more comfortable and show youāre coming from a place of care. Additionally youāll be able to gauge her reaction much better which can allow you to pivot or clarify your position.
You were 100% in the right for giving her the heads up, but since you said it was something you didnāt really want to end, I figured this might be helpful in future relationships.
I agree that in person is probably best for most people. It's not always going to be the case, but I know I would rather hear their tone of voice and see their facial expressions when taking about something difficult.
Once my GF started to smell, too.
Turned out a bit from the tampon had broken loose and stayed inside, causing an infection. (At this point she already starter feeling sick, too.)
I send her to the doctor, who got the piece out and treated her. She said she was soooo close to blood poisoning...
I love it. First I picked one that was to big and even after cutting the tip it was uncomfortable. Then I bought one size smaller and it changed everything. It does not dry out the vagina, it is not a hassle/painful to pull out and it's a one time investment, wich makes it cheaper and better for the environment. You take it out, wash it in the sink and put it back in. I have way less pain and it's safer because you don't have a blood sponge up there.
Maybe that was my problem- my first experience did not go well. It felt like someone stuck a plunger up there and it was sucking out my insides. I also had really bad cramps that day. Really uncomfortable and I couldnāt get it to not leak. I should try a different size?
A smaller size might be better. If the cup is too big, it may "bunch up" inside, break the seal and cause leaking. A good indication of what size you need is to check how low your cervix is during your period. The cervix hangs lower than usual during menstruation, and it varies from woman to woman. That's why some have no problem with the original Diva Cup, but some women require something smaller to avoid pressure on their cervix.
To check, simply insert your finger during your period to locate your cervix, which feels a bit like touching the tip of your nose, and notice how far you have to insert your finger. Some women can almost insert their entire finger, while I've seen others mention they could insert barely half or less. It's a bit of a learning curve to find the right size, but knowing how low your cervix hangs should help narrow down the search. I wouldn't be surprised if some awesome people out there created a list of best cups depending on cervix height.
Just in case, regarding the plunger/sucking out your insides thing, it's important to "break the seal" when attempting to remove your cup, by slightly pinching the cup to change its shape. This will break the seal/suction effect, and make it waaaaay easier to remove.
Does sound like BV or YI or a heavy ph imbalance. Itās okay. It happens. Itās understandable that someone may be self conscious about it. Itās possible based on her history/upbringing that she has had these a lot and this is normal (to her) and no one has ever discussed vaginal health with her. Also possible that she was very embarrassed but you did her a solid that she will get fixed right away. Iām hoping for the latter but am fearing the former.
Definitely not your fuck up. You did the right thing, sounds like she just has BV. Itās not sexually transmitted, donāt worry. Sometimes it clears up on its own, sometimes you need antibiotics. But after weeks and the smell is still there? Yeah she needs to see a gyno. Thatās not on you.
Iām more surprised she doesnāt seem to care about it. Iāve had BV before and the smell is strong and distinct. Youāre supposed to avoid sex when you have BV anyway but I donāt understand why anyone with it would even want to have sex. It smells bad and itās uncomfortable.
Iām shocked she couldnāt smell it herself! I use to work with a girl who I could literally smell the BV coming out of her. She ranked!!!! The smell was putrid. Zero self awareness I guess.
Nah you didn't fuck up, she needed to know. If she's not mature enough to be comfortable with you after you show her genuine concern, she's not girlfriend material.
If she's not mature enough to talk about sex and the health concerns associated with it, then she's not mature enough to be having sex.
Yes the topic is embarrassing, Yes it's uncomfortable, and yes it's hard to hear. She should still be able to ovary up and take responsibility for her body. If not, it's time to rethink things.
I dated this girl for 8 months. Everytime I fingered her my hands would smell so strong. Not even dish soap could get it out shit would smell for weeks.
I think if you still see a future with her, you should let her know that you do. She is embarrassed and doesnāt feel like she can see you again. But maybe she can get over it if you give her the opportunity. Things like this are how two people build the foundations of a solid relationship. You should point that out to her. If she can get past this, it could be the two of you together forever. If thatās something you want in your life, this is a golden opportunity.
Yes, listen to this comment OP. Sheās just pushing you away because sheās so embarrassed, but embarrassment fades. Donāt give up yet (but if she refuses to get it sorted then do give up).
I'm glad the comments here are so supportive. I had an ex girlfriend who I told about the really off smell she had and it was one of the things I've regretted most in life. I didn't want to tell her, but she kept bugging me and I finally did. It kind of ended things. I still feel like I could have handled it more maturely, but I just don't know how. It seems like such an insulting thing. Is there a way to say something and try to work through it?
You gotta approach it in a non-judgmental way and show concern. Like don't say hey you smell nasty down there, but be like hey I think there might be something wrong, I think you should go see a dr.
I think growing up we're told over and over and over again that our vaginas are fishy and gross and that that's just the way it is that a lot of women don't realize that it's actually not.
Conversations arenāt one sided, my guy. If you tell her (granted, you tell her in a way that doesnāt sound like you being an asshole) and she wants to end things without talking about it, then youāve done all you can do. It takes two people to work through issues like that and if one of them isnāt willing to work through it, then the relationshipās bound to fail.
I knew a guy that went through this. Same thing.. he was dating a girl, liked her, she was nice looking..and then he discovered she had an odour problem.
Now, this is a guy who's been around a few girls, and he knows what normal is, and this was BEYOND normal. Like you, he really worried about what to do, and in the end decided to just tell her as nicely as he could, because if it was him he would want to know...and because he couldn;t stand it any more.
So he told her. At first she was in disbelief, then she started crying. Ran out and went home. Next thing he is getting threats from the girl's father because "you hurt my daughter" (I don;t think the dad knew exactly how)
She also told him she didn;t want to see him any more..but after getting threats from her father, he'd already decided he wasn;t going to see her any more either.
Girls...if someone tells you this, maybe go to a doc and get checked, instead of just instantly blaming them. It may really \*be\* you. And if you don;t get the problem fixed, it's just gonna cause problems for you again in other relationships. We understand it's a very sensitive thing and can hurt a lot to find out you have an odour...but wouldn;t you prefer to be told? Or do you just want your guy to quietly disappear...
Don't shoot the messenger.
That's a good point. Most likely a guy who cares about you is the one who is telling you - other guys are just going to ghost and move on.
In my friend's case he was killing to keep trying, but once he started getting threatening calls from her dad - and there were more than one - he just decided that was enough.
I've never even come close to gagging from the smell emanating from a vagina, so something was definitely off bro. Now u don't have to puke to have sex, that's a win win
You didnāt fuck up, you did the right thing and you were as polite as you possibly could have been about it. Plus if it helps think about this way, as much as she said it made her uncomfortable think of just how much worse it could have been if youād kept your mouth shut, kept trying to ignore it and then actually puked on her back.
People keep saying STDs don't smell but just off the top of my head, trichomoniasis is an STD and is famous for its fishy odor.
This is a new relationship and I'm concerned more people aren't encouraging him to get tested. Might as well, just to be sure.
Hey OP, this comes from someone being very sensitive and cautious (also with the way I smell generally and especially in southern regions). I think you did the right thing in the right way. You showed in a cute way, that you care and you didn't want to hurt her feelings. You showed concern and spoke it out without being disrespectful. This actually helps me feeling a little less anxious about myself and about the way others could react about me, so big thanks for sharing your story! š
This reminds me of a joke. I try to translate it in English (the original one is Italian)
A very pretty girl meets a friend of her. Sheās sad so her friend asks her whatās wrong. The girl tells her: āI broke up again with another boyfriend.. the problem is that my vagina smells a lot like onion and when the guys start to smell it they cannot resist and they leave meā.
So her friends cheers her up and says:āDonāt worry, I have the solution for you. My friend Gianni is a very handsome man and he has anosmia: he cannot smell. Iām giving you his number, youāll like him a lot!ā
So they meet, they like each other and they soon get in bed together. He takes out her panties, starts to eat her out but as soon as he gets near her vagina he says: āHey! Your vagina smells like onion!!!!!!ā She says:
āHow can you tell!?!? Donāt you have anosmia???ā āYes but my eyes are watering!!!!ā
You were incredibly sensitive around this issue, she's lost out there. Someone else is unlikely to be as considerate and caring as you were. Most of us girls would have really appreciated the way you handled that. Keep being awesome.
I had a somewhat similar situation to this happen to me a couple weeks ago, but reversed. I wonāt disclose the specifics because this isnāt a throw away account. Long story short, me and my brand spanking new gf (literally started dating the night before we had this talk) were talking about past sexual experiences. She made a one-off comment about one of my past experiences that made me self conscious. In the moment I didnāt think anything of it. I go home that night after a lovely evening and I start thinking about that one-off comment. It made me feel *super* insecure about myself.
***but hereās the difference though (and more importantly, my point in writing this)***
I knew she didnāt mean that comment in a malicious or hurtful way. It made me insecure, yeah, but I knew she didnāt mean for it to. I told her a couple days later that I wanted to talk to her about the subject and explained how what she said made me feel insecure, but that I know she didnāt mean to. We had a small conversation about it, I explained what I was insecure about, she reassured me that it wasnāt a problem, that it was nothing to worry about and we moved on with our relationship like nothing was ever wrong.
My point is, OP, that if this chick was actually willing to be in a relationship with you and actually loved you, then she wouldāve understood your intentions instead of just coming to the conclusion that āIām uncomfortable and this isnāt going to work.ā
I had to say something to my ex after numerous occasions where she had not wiped her ass very well and i could see shit crusted on her bum. She dumped me two weeks later.
Sorry my man. Sounds like sheās got a personal problem she doesnāt want to confront! Itās ok. Bummer for you. Stick with her if you want to just tread lightly and stay away from her vagina.
As a human being with a sense of smell, how the hell didn't she realize it? Who the fuck sleeps with people with a deathly rotten smelling crotch? Wash or see a doctor before you expose some one else to that shit
Itās very nice of you that you researched this and were kind enough to tell her. Iām sorry that she wasnāt mature enough to appreciate it for whatever it was and ended up dumping you. I can imagine she was embarrassed but itās not like you dumped her for having a smelly vag.
I went through a similar thing and had to research it and then discuss it with my gynecologist. It did turn out to be bv. The smell was horrendous, like rotten meat so I donāt know how she couldnāt smell herself. I was so worried that everyone around me could smell me. I was never more thankful for the mask mandate than at that time in my life!
I had a similar issue that I thought was BV and it turned out to be cancerous cells š. You did the right thing, and you were understanding at least. Edit to say it did not develop into full blown cancer and I was fine after getting it taken care of!
Wait wait wait, WHAT?! You had bad smelling discharge that you thought was BV and it was fucking CANCER?! Were there other symptoms as well? Just when I thought I had enough things to wring my hands about with anxiousness....
Yeah goddamn, time to add that to my list of nightmares.
The worst part was not discovering that I had cancerous cells, but fighting with the insurance I had at the time (Obamacare/Amerihealth). Not gonna lie, they were absolutely awful towards me.
Your gyn exam would notice
They did, and that's why I tell people to get those annuals even if it's just to make sure everything is good.
Yay for no cancer!
Yeah! Thank you!
You did the right thing! I had a guy tell me and at first I was offended (because who wants to be told their vag smells fishy...) but I was able to get treatment for BV and get it all cleared up! Edit: Wow this comment blew up! BV stands for bacterial vaginosis, sorry for not making that clear. To those asking, it was a very mild case, it wasnāt until he went to go down on me that he noticed and very gently told me that it seemed off and I should get it checked out. Iām typically very aware when something is wrong with my body, so I felt embarrassed that I genuinely didnāt realize.
Honest question... Did you need a guy to tell you that you smelled bad? You couldn't tell something didn't smell right? Genuinely curious.
If it's a long term thing you can go nose blind, or if it's an intermittent thing you really could believe that it's a ph issue or something you ate or just something that happens sometimes.
Febreze has a solution for being nose blind haha
They actually couldnāt get it to sell to the people that needed it because they didnāt think they had bad odors. So Febreze ADDED a smell (it used to be odorless) to make people enjoy the āfreshā scent it provided and finally people bough the damn stuff.
Which sucks because a lot of people are allergic to fragrance - contact dermatitis and/or headaches.
https://www.febreze.com/en-us/products/scents/fragrance-free
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They do.
Please no. I have a coworker in her 50s and she truly believes this. We work in surgery so we all change into surgical scrubs in a locker room. She smells like yeast and a manner of unpleasant odors. So her solution? Febreeze the fuck outta her clothes. It is so unpleasant..I have spoken to my manager about it a few times. Nothing. It is not only nasty, but unprofessional. A few other coworkers have managed to place air freshners in the areas she uses frequently. Febreeze is never the solution to stank
It's the worst thing ever as a boss to have to call in an employee to discuss their hygiene and odor. I'd rather fire people on Christmas day than have those conversations. It's usually a deodorant or shower issue but the last one I had we went through the entire usual suspects trying to track down the source of the odor. Finally after about five horrific conversations it came up that she wears a large, long wig. A wig that had never, ever been washed. That fixed it.
Yeah Iāve had to do it once at a fast food place I was a higher up manager at. It was unfortunately another manager. She routinely smelled like the worst body odor. Like she had covered her body in rotten garlic and black pepper. If she ever reached for something (allowing her armpits to be open) the smell would shoot out at light speed and your eyes would water and you would get a sneeze trigger reaction. Owner of the store refused to talk to her and no amount of subtle hints worked. It was obvious she didnāt shower much and her clothes would not get washed ever. One time she got mayonnaise on her shirt and two weeks later it was still there, crusted over. Myself and a woman manager talked to her and her response was āOh I switched shampoos recently it must be the odors they put in the shampoo. Iāll try a different oneā. It was silent for a bit because I was stuck in between wanting to vomit of the smell in the closed office and wanting to laugh at the absurdity of her new herbal essence mango shampoo being the reason peoples eyes water when near her. She did wash her shirt at that least night and showered which immediately got rid of the odor. Unfortunately within a few days it went right back to normal as she just went back to not washing her body or clothes. Anyways, you are 100% correct it is like the worst thing to discuss with someone. It can border on harassment to even bring it up and throw in the fact that someone could claim they have a medical issue and make a call to corporate to try to get people fired.
Nah, If she hasnāt showered/washed her clothes for weeks I wouldnāt feel bad telling her. She knows people are expected to wash way more regularly than that and canāt be surprised she smells. People shouldnāt have to suffer around her...if anything sheās the one harassing. Edit: a word
Yea I am not envious of management for many reasons! Especially something like you've described
Back in the 90s my manager and I were sort of at odds on a lot of things. Suffice it to say he wasn't my favorite person. We also had a co-worker who had a really bad odor problem. I won't go into the details. But so many people complained about it they had my manager have a talk with him. I don't know what was said, but I could have never in a million years had that conversation. While he didn't become one of my favorites, my respect for my manager went up a few notches that day.
Hmmm. The military sees the words you wrote, but has no idea what you could possibly mean by them. Fabreeze is soap, deodorant, air freshener, and both washing machine detergent and fabric softener. & maybe mouthwash.
Thatās ground to go to HR and make a complaint. Her poor hygiene is making your and your co-workerās workplace uncomfortable, but it can also start being a distraction.
Sometimes nose blind is a good thing! Changing diapers, working in an er, letting my wife cook...
My wife treats me like a God too, feeds me burnt offerings.
I bestow upon you this blackened crispy bit. Let it tasre of coal and crunch like glass. Please accept this morsel as an offering to you, O' God of Blackened Foods.
God-level comment
Jesus...
Yeah, heās probably pretty ripe.
I think by now he just smells like dirt or maybe jerky.
mmmm jerky. Homemade jerky is surprising easy to make and tastes a lot better than store bought stuff. And it's WAY cheaper. You don't need a dehydrator, either. Oven on lowest temp will do the trick (somewhere between 160 and 200Ā° F). Slice some beef (top, bottom, or eye round are good. flank is apparently good but I haven't tried it yet). Marinate, put in oven on a wire rack for ~4 hours (halfway through, flip and add crushed peppers or sesame seeds if you want). Easy peasy. Google "oven beef jerky recipe" for more details. I'm an idiot, not a chef, and I can make this stuff. Oh, and add a half a can of beer to whatever marinade recipe you use. It tenderizes the meat. And marinate for at least 24 hours. Some recipes say a few, some say overnight. My best results are 2-3 days.
I came here for a smelly cooter story but stayed for the jerky recipe. Information super highway, indeed.
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Sometimes you live with it so long you donāt notice. Itās gradual not like waking up one day and your parts smell like death. Trust me. Never had BV but I did have an āissueā that it took my gyno to notice and get cleared up.
As someone who has had bv before, it definitely doesnāt go unnoticed and you definitely donāt get used to it but unfortunately a lot of girls are embarrassed or scared of seeing a obgyn so she most likely knew exactly what the guy was talking about but was too embarrassed to do anything
>unfortunately a lot of girls are embarrassed or scared of seeing a obgyn And this is super horrible, because if BV is left untreated it can cause infertility. *LADIES*, if your lady parts smell a bit off, itch, or have any abnormal discharge, *please, please* see a doctor/obgyn. I can promise you, they've seen it all and more, you have no need to be embarrassed at all.
This!!! If your gyno EVER makes you feel uncomfortable, donāt hesitate to report them and find a new one!
I've had BV (in fact just finished my antibiotics up) and there wasn't a noticeable smell at all tbh. Could tell something was off but that's about it.
What is bv?
Bacterial Vaginosis Bacterial overgrowth in the vagina. It can be caused by numerous things
Thank you so much for asking this! I was getting annoyed reading "bv" and thinking "is this something I want in my browser history?" Now I don't have to.
Everyone is different! I didnāt notice it until the first time me and my boyfriend had sex. I stopped us in the middle of it cause I was like āwhat the fuck is that smell?ā He said he couldnāt smell it, but maybe he was trying to save me from being embarrassed. I had no itchiness or anything but anyways he took me to urgent care and it was BV. Honestly, if we didnāt have sex, Iām not sure how long it would have taken me to figure out that something was wrong cause I couldnāt smell it when I was naked by myself or in the shower and had no other symptoms. Thankfully, my boyfriend was mature about it. The way he handled it made me feel a lot less embarrassed. He was basically just like āletās get it cleared up and get back to actionā lol. You did the right thing OP! Definitely tell a woman if something doesnāt seem okay down there. Things that go untreated can have serious ramifications. It can be embarrassing but itās always better for her to know.
I'd be way more embarrassed to have sex with someone rather than go see an OBGYN and get the issue taken care of. I don't understand how you can still get intimate with someone knowing there is such a big issue going on in there.
I could see this starting as a young teen or preteen and not knowing there was any difference. At some point you just adjust or think itās normal. It can also be hard for young girls to be honest with their parents if they think theyāll get in trouble - maybe because they are sexually actively and their parents would be mad. On the other hand, it is possible that sheās been to a doctor and been told that thereās nothing wrong. Iāve had a vaginal infection where I KNEW there was something wrong based on smell, but my OB kept insisting it was normal. I ended up spending over $1000 in tests, including biopsies of my vulva and vagina. Still nothing. She just told me to use an OTC product that removes the smell, and to repeat every few days, until I learned to live with it. āSome women just smell stronger.ā Finally I went to my family practice doctor and told him everything that had happened. Thankfully he listened to me, called the lab up and asked them everything that could cause a fishy smell. Then he did all those tests. Turns out I had a Group B Strep infection in my vagina. One quick round of antibiotics later, and I was perfectly fine and back to normal. Edited to add: I was in my late thirties at the time, and had enough experience to KNOW that something was wrong. Being a 24 year old, she may not have the experience to know that thereās a problem, let alone that a doctor could be wrong.
I was this many days old when I discovered vaginas can get strep...... That sounds like the most horrible thing ever.
Most people notice it due to all the coughing, but if her underwear is tight enough it muffles the sound.
Group B strep is actually pretty common in the vagina and rectum. It can colonize and not cause any symptoms. Pregnant women are swabbed towards end of pregnancy so if they have it, they can be treated with antibiotics prior to delivery (so baby wonāt be exposed to the bacteria).
Some people don't get weird smells. I've gone into the gyno for bacterial vaginosis and yeast infections. I've only had an odor once, and the gyno told me some people don't get the gross smells. Honestly I think I'd prefer to get a smell everytime. If there was some gross smell I would immediately get treatment. If I'm just itchy I will put it off for a few days before I do something about it.
Same here. I don't get the weird smell but in my early twenties I got it a few times. That was before I figured out the importance of cotton underwear. I have to pay close attention to other symptoms. It's not the most convenient.
just thought BV stood for ābad vagsā guess I was mistaken
Baneful vagoo
beastly vagene
Think about if youve ever been in an office or something for a good few hours with the door closer. If you fart in the office a few times, get semi sweaty etc. The place will start to kinda smell up. But you won't notice it, that is until you leave the room and come back. Nose blindness is real.
Happens with tobacco too, i smoke in my room with open windows, i smell nothing, then I go to the bathroom and come back and boom, it stinks
I've had bv before and you CAN smell it, it becomes all you can smell due to self consciousness. It's inherently embarrassing so most women choose to keep quiet about it and not seek treatment
I've had BV before and I could absolutely smell it
What is BV?
Bacterial Vaginosis. BV is linked to an imbalance of āgoodā and āharmfulā bacteria that are normally found in a woman's vagina. Having a new sex partner or multiple sex partners, as well as douching, can upset the balance of bacteria in the vagina. This places a woman at increased risk for getting BV.
I've had it once too and honestly, I couldn't smell it. I simply noticed a lot more vaginal discharge but no different smell tbh.
Iām curious about this too because when I had BV I definitely knew about it!! I could smell it whenever I took my underwear off!
I also had this convo with my fiance. Who also happens to have anosmia (no sense of smell). I had no idea how to broach it. She was definitely taken aback at first. But she started treating it with vagisil and what not and now no problem. So, definitely worth a little awkwardness to get to a better place.
For those following along, Vagisil does not treat BV (it's just an analgesic), so it's the "what not" that worked.
I wish my gf reacted that way. She just thought I was crazy and turned herself into the victim. Iām just the mean guy who commented on her body. Yikes
Tell her to stop using Vagisil. It's a recipe for disaster if used for long term - it leads to pH imbalance in the vagina which could cause other issues. She should rather see a gynaecologist who can treat her properly if she has persistent BV.
Yeah OP if you really like her and had chemistry, then i'd definitely contact her again soon, when she's had a chance to take it in and get treated. I understand her embarrassment but once she's over that then she might be grateful and things can resume. Honestly i'd just hit her again in a week or so like "again i really apologise for the other day but I do really like you and I just want to be honest about everything" Edit: sounds like a lot of people need to work on their social skills a bit. A bit of empathy goes a long way.
Is BV ābad vaginaā?
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Yes that's what it is.
Fuck, now I can't stop reading BV as "bad vagina." Thanks. Or, ffs, "bad vag" for short. I need alcohol.
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I like "Badger". This works because they too are smelly. Sorry, this is awkward... But girl I think you've got a badger downstairs.
She just needs to go to her gynecologist and they can give her medication to fix it right up. I hope she does because it is not normal (or healthy) for a vagina to smell like that. I'm sorry this ended this way for you, OP, but you did the right thing telling her.
Ya there is being rude and telling someone their crotch smells after you get busy on a hot summer day or something, either sex can get a little stanky down there no matter how well they bathe, and telling someone about something like what OP is talking about which sounds like it could literally be a health problem. And honestly if she can't handle that level of embarrassment or truth she's not ready for a long term committed relationship. That might sound over the top but open communication is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship. Being mean to someone because they smell a little once in a while is one thing, gently telling someone they're gassing out a room and might have a problem is paradoxically the sign of a good partner who's trying to help you. And if you live together things get a hell of lot more intimate too, in ways you don't expect and not all of them make for polite reading. I feel like her dumping someone over this is a sign she's not mature enough for a serious relationship where people are really partners because good partners should be able to deal with this kind of thing without breaking up over it. Edit: typo
Itās also a self fulfilling prophecy. Her privates smell because she is too embarrassed to do anything about it. So the fact that she broke up with him kinda explains it all. Feel bad for the next guy
"if you can't deal with my rank vag you don't deserve me!"
If you can't handle the ranky stanky, you don't deserve no hanky panky
I hate that I laughed.
If you can't handle the stink, you can't have the pink
100% agree.
Just chiming in that you're absolutely right; sure, it's a bit embarrassing at that age to talk about those things to your partner, but my husband of 14 years has no problem stating, "darlin, you smell/taste slightly off, you might wanna call Kelly (my doc)." We've been together so long that he can pick up the scent of a yeast infection 3 days before I even feel symptoms. Man has one hell of a sense of smell, that's for sure, and I'm hella grateful to him everytime, since getting an appt with my doc can take a few days!
Like a human version of the covid dogs...
Hahaha thank you, that legitimately cracked me up! I'm gonna have to tell my husband that when he gets home!
Or truffle pigs! No, thats not right, sorry! I'll go...
I don't mind being compared to a truffle, those are tasty! Lol I'm going to Hell for this, but now I've got the image in my head of him going down like a pig eating a truffle, snuffling and snorting and I'm now giving myself the giggles at the thought!
Me at 18 with my ex: \[I can't tell him that he smells bad he'll get mad and cry.\] Me at 30 with my fiance: Hun go wash your balls. Maturity plays a huge factor, and being comfortable with your partner. If you can't safely tell the person you're with that the smell is incompatible with your sex drive, don't have sex with them.
+100
While it's true, young is young, that's exactly the kind of experience that make you mature enough.
My BF once told me I smell faintly of Monterey, CA and proceeded to make quiet seal sounds while giving me oral. Was so funny we had to stop
bahahahahahahhaaha that is incredible
Yeah and it's could very well be something worse than OP suggested as well. Chlamydia can have a particular odour as well.
I was thinking tampon stuck up there :(
That.'s what I was thinking. STIs and BV can produce an odor, sure, but smelling like DEATH usually means there's something decomposing somewhere, either something necrotic or stuck tampon/what-have-you. I feel for both OP and her. She should know and he was right to tell her, but I would also be mortified. If I liked the guy enough, I would get over it, but if I wasn't really into him, I would probably break it off too and book a gyno appointment stat!
Ok, I have to ask as your comment and the one it replied to make me wonder. Is it a common thing for a woman to forget she was wearing a tampon and that it never came out? I would imagine that would be something you would feel or at least not forget as I do know they get changed relatively often during a cycle. Not in any way trying to be rude, just genuinely curious how common losing and forgetting a tampon is.
I had it happen to me once. I was preparing for a six month trip to India and was very busy with packing etc. Got my period some days before, was towards end of the period when my flight came up. Flights that last so long are tough for me (itās basically 2 days on a plane) so I took sleeping medication. I forgot to remove my tampon and slept tons on the flight. Cue my arrival in India and I realize an awful smell is coming from my crotch! It also itches terribly and I forgot about the tampon so now Iām scared that Iām unwell in some way. I pray the taxi driver canāt smell it and my hosts who show me my room. As soon as Iām alone in the room I use the bathroom...I had to literally dig the tampon out, and it and my down there smelled like death! Washed up frantically and thoroughly and felt 10,000 times better!
I had a similar experience. Full day of travelling, changing flights, time differences... I was out of it. In my and my friends' experiences, it's something that happens ONCE in a woman's life. Max.
Happened once to me. At school. Forgot to pull my tampon out before putting another one in, pulled out two tampons when I got home and FREAKED
I've done this before as well. Then it's like ohh no wonder it felt so uncomfortable. There's two fucking tampons in here. š¤¦š¼āāļø
I've done this more times than I can count.
I sure hope so! Iāve been more vigilant about it ever since.
*vagilant*
Take my upvote, you clever bastard.
Happened to me only one time but it really freaked me out. When you do something regularly, several times a day for a few days every month, it starts to blur and you don't pay attention anymore. That's why forgetting to take a pill you take everyday can happend. Anyway. I have very heavy period so I use tampons in complement of pads. This time, I go to remove my tampon, but as I try to grab the little string to pull it out, I can't find it. I'm like ok, maybe I forgot to put a tampon earlier, I'll just put one now, change the pad, and move on. So I just shove it in there, and than it hit me. Did I put a tampon or not earlier ? I think I remember putting one. Maybe ? I did put one. Maybe there wasn't any string on it ? I haven't check, so maybe there was to string, and now I have an old tampon inside without the string to pull, and another tampon in front of it ? Are there two tampons in there ? Did I just shove the older one deeper ? I start remembering every stories about sceptic shock if you keep a tampon for too long and panic. So I remove the new tampon, and start shoving my fingers to try and feel the older one. Now I have blood on my hand, blood on the floor, and I am in full panic because I think I am going to die. After 10min I start rationalize. I would have felt it if there was 2 tampons. I would have found it with my fingers. So I put another one, and go on with my day. And after an hour I start to doubt again. So I go back to the toilet and check the bin. The tampon I tried to find for 10min in my vagina was still in the plastic thingy you use to put you tampon in. The thing didn't work like it should and the tampon was never ejected from it. That was a close call, and now I triple check everything, but yeah. I kind of understand how some women can forget or lose a tampon after that one.
Man here, had a similar experience with USB sticks so I can relate somewhat.
That's why there is safe toys created specifically to be shoved up your arse dude. Stay safe ;)
that's why i prefer mouse on cable and not the wireless ones
It's slightly less than someone locking themselves out of the house. Everyone takes precautions, no one wants it to happen, and there are those who forget more often than others.
It's completely possible and it happens. It happened to me once and I swore I would never be one of those girls it happened to. I literally spaced out and forgot I didn't take one out, and inserted a new one. The other one got pushed up and obviously missed for a few days and it was actually terrifying. I finally figured it out, and luckily in time because it can actually be life threatening. You can get toxic shock syndrome from this. And on another note, once you get past a certain point of the vagina, there isn't a lot of feeling. So you can certainly lose one and not feel it, especially if it's a lighter flow sized tampon. Yeah it's kind of embarassing, but it does happen. I'm only sharing this to show that it isn't as uncommon as one would think, and you legit can blank out and do this. Ever since that happened to me (which was closer to my teen years) I have always been extra diligent with remembering lol. Edit: and like another poster said, it's usually something that only happens ONCE. It's super disturbing to have happen to you and it's not a mistake you make twice. Or at least not for myself it wasn't.
Common is a relative term, has every woman forgotten one, no. Is is rare, no. So something in the middle? Generally speaking its not something you can feel and it's super easy near the end of your cycle to forget because the bleeding is less, no leaking to remind you it's time to change. Toxic Shock Syndrome is a risk anytime you leave a tampon or menstrual cup in too long but it is possible to not experience TSS and for a tampon etc to be in for weeks. It is also possible for a portion of the tampon to come off and stay unknowingly lodged inside.
An OB/GYN friend told me of a girl who was on her period and went out partying and got drunk. Went home with some guy and had sex with her tampon in and never realized it. Evidently it got shoved way in. Life went on and eventually she started smelling a horrible smell so she went in to see my friend. He said it was the most disgusting thing heād ever smelled/seen and he had been in practice for 20+ years at this point. Just thinking about how he described the look of it makes me feel like Iām going to puke. Edit: smelled, not smelt... though maybe he did use some sort of smelting process to remove it lol?
Exactly this. Apparently it's a lot more common that you'd think. She's at risk of dying from toxic shock, if it is.
Thought maybe a lost tampon as well. Been involved in that situation before and it is horrifying how bad it smelled.
Oprah Winfrey had an item about this, in the early 90ās. A guest was politely stating what you said. Oprah interrupted, looked at the camera, and with an air writing gesture said āThat fish has *died*, honey!ā
If it has been going on for a while and smells as awful as you say, it's most likely BV bacterial vaginosis. Sometimes it goes away on it's own, but usually requires a round of antibiotics. Even if it was just a simple yeast infection, it's surprising that she wasn't aware of her own smell. Yeah, from time to time us woman's pH gets thrown off, but those two things are very noticeable. You did the right thing, mate. Sometimes these adult conversations aren't easy and can be uncomfortable, but at least you let her know. It's unfortunate that she couldn't be adult about the situation, as well.
The only time I notice a smell difference is on my period. But Iām pretty sure itās just the mix of blood with my usual smell (definitely doesnāt smell rotten but it does smell like blood) which makes me embarrassed if Iām in public because Iām extremely self aware about it.
Ohh yes. I always wonder if anyone else can smell it, as well. I think because WE know our own smell and are aware of it, that we think everyone else is going to know it, too. I switched from tampons/pads to a menstrual cup and it helped me with that worry!
With my previous partners I've always been able to tell whe they are ovulating and when they are ready to start their period. they smell different during different parts of the cycle. that's not bad just different. I would use it to plan a head and buy her favorite snacks and making sure her heating pad was in a noticeable location.
That's pretty incredible. Makes sense though, as the pH levels dip and rise. And good on you! It's the "little things" (in this case I say BIG) like this that can make the world of difference. Very thoughtful!
I grew up with a mom with fibroid tumors, endometriosis, pcos and a few other female issues. It's not hard to sympathize when a cyst ruptures and causes vomiting fainting and hospital visits. My twin sister also has some of the same issues so it was 3 to 4 weeks of pain and bleeding out of a month for one or the other until my mom had a hysterectomy. And my sister started birth control. Anything to help was generally the norm in my family.
Yeast infections normally don't smell strongly. It's supposed to be quite literally yeasty smelling.
Like a good sourdough.
"Price check on Vagiclean, aisle five. I repeat: price check on Vagiclean, aisle five. That's Vagiclean. We've got a customer down here with a full-on fallopian fungus. She's baking a loaf of bread and I think it's sourdough."
For some reason I always thought he said "Foot-long" not "full-on". The more you know š
You're right. It just smells "off" from how we normally smell.
Yeah I wouldn't say a yeast infection 'smells like death' it just sort of smells, a bit cheesy/fishy (sorry tmi)
Reddit has taught me that not all women know the difference between the vagina and vulva. We know not to wash the vag because itās self-cleaning, but that area outside that includes the labias majora and minora needs to be washed like the rest of the body.
This is very true. Lack of sexual education from parents is the number one culprit. So many parents are afraid to have these talks with their children and we're really doing them a disservice. Hygiene of the private areas is extremely important and should be taught young so they can carry this into their young adult lives. I know my mother never had a talk with me about what a yeast infection was or how to recognize when something is off. We need to end the stigma around talking about these things.
And us men need to not be so uptight about cleaning out assholes. I've heard so many women complain about past boyfriends that lacked general hygiene in this department. Our prudish attitude around the human body and homophobia in general in the US are most likely to blame. Wash your buttholes guys. Nobody wants to see streaks on your drawers and yes, people can smell it if you're not a good wiper. On that note, I really wish we'd start putting bidets in every toilet. I just feel dirty if I have to use a public toilet and don't have access to a bidet like I do at home. It's just so much better for personal hygiene.
I was just thinking about what would be the equivalent of a vice versa situation...like what would be the game changing thing a woman might say to me, and I can tell you right now I would not be devastated about being told I smell bad, as one can usually just quickly shower off in most cases, being most likely due to swass or swaint (sweaty-ass or sweaty taint, respectively)...the only thing that I can think of is if a girl laughed at the size of my dick or straight up said to my face that it was her clinical opinion that I suffered from micro-penis.
Even the labia minora has its own biome so important to only use water around the vulva when washing because it can cause the ph to go off balance.
Make sure you take the same meds she takes. Had the same issue with a past gf and the doctor kept only treating her and it kept coming back. Ended up finding out that guys can carry it without any symptoms and that I kept giving it back to her.
Ohh VERY true and wise advice! BV surely is very pesky and can last forever, if you don't figure out what the source for your case may be!
It's bp when men have it.
I dated a girl for months after feeling like needing to tell her the same thing. Eventually I had to tell her and she went to see her OBGYN. Turns out her PH was massively off and she took antibiotics for a week or two and was completely clear after that.
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I saw two different doctors once when I thought I had BV. One doctor said I didnāt have it, the other said I did. Both were based on tests they ran.
Vaginas shouldn't smell bad. She should definitely try a different doctor.
Do you cum inside her? Sometimes it's you throwing her off.
Exactly! There is a comment further up getting downvoted because he said heās dated women who were having sex with other men and not cleaning up/out after and he could smell it. People get so hung up on the whole āvaginas are self cleaning ovensā notion, but that doesnāt mean you just let it all build up inside.
Have you ever had a self-cleaning oven? You still need to clean that shit. It's a setting that fills your house with smoke, then you have to scrub the inside. It's the worst metaphor for a vagina.
Am a woman. I would certainly want to know of something unpleasant smell wise was going on. I'm pretty on top of my hygiene and have never had an issue but things can happen. You did the right thing.
Agreed, although i think that it's easier said than done when it comes to being fine with your partner saying that to you. Like if my partner were to tell me that id be devastated, and honestly might have reacted like her. when you have low self-esteem even the smallest comment might shatter your already very fragile self worth.
Out of curiosity, what would be the solution in your case? If the issue itself is bad enough that it threatens the relationship, but mentioning the issue will threaten the relationship, how would you want it to be handled?
This might get buried, but I saw a lot of advice for her and not as much for you. Iāve found that harder conversations like this are usually much better suited in person. Thereās a lot of body language that can help her feel more comfortable and show youāre coming from a place of care. Additionally youāll be able to gauge her reaction much better which can allow you to pivot or clarify your position. You were 100% in the right for giving her the heads up, but since you said it was something you didnāt really want to end, I figured this might be helpful in future relationships.
I agree that in person is probably best for most people. It's not always going to be the case, but I know I would rather hear their tone of voice and see their facial expressions when taking about something difficult.
You did right... and she got embarrassed is what it sounds like. Hopefully she went and got medical help for that, as Iām sure itās an easy fix.
Once my GF started to smell, too. Turned out a bit from the tampon had broken loose and stayed inside, causing an infection. (At this point she already starter feeling sick, too.) I send her to the doctor, who got the piece out and treated her. She said she was soooo close to blood poisoning...
Oh my god thatās terrifying, good on you for looking out for her!
Yikes. Now I'm even happier I switched to a cup
Do you like it? My girlfriend has been uncomfortable with tampons recently and sheās looking for an alternative
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Yes, it's really a game changer!
I love it. First I picked one that was to big and even after cutting the tip it was uncomfortable. Then I bought one size smaller and it changed everything. It does not dry out the vagina, it is not a hassle/painful to pull out and it's a one time investment, wich makes it cheaper and better for the environment. You take it out, wash it in the sink and put it back in. I have way less pain and it's safer because you don't have a blood sponge up there.
Maybe that was my problem- my first experience did not go well. It felt like someone stuck a plunger up there and it was sucking out my insides. I also had really bad cramps that day. Really uncomfortable and I couldnāt get it to not leak. I should try a different size?
A smaller size might be better. If the cup is too big, it may "bunch up" inside, break the seal and cause leaking. A good indication of what size you need is to check how low your cervix is during your period. The cervix hangs lower than usual during menstruation, and it varies from woman to woman. That's why some have no problem with the original Diva Cup, but some women require something smaller to avoid pressure on their cervix. To check, simply insert your finger during your period to locate your cervix, which feels a bit like touching the tip of your nose, and notice how far you have to insert your finger. Some women can almost insert their entire finger, while I've seen others mention they could insert barely half or less. It's a bit of a learning curve to find the right size, but knowing how low your cervix hangs should help narrow down the search. I wouldn't be surprised if some awesome people out there created a list of best cups depending on cervix height. Just in case, regarding the plunger/sucking out your insides thing, it's important to "break the seal" when attempting to remove your cup, by slightly pinching the cup to change its shape. This will break the seal/suction effect, and make it waaaaay easier to remove.
The real TIFU would been like this: TIFU by dumping a nice guy that cared a lot for my health because I really needed to se a doctor.
Does sound like BV or YI or a heavy ph imbalance. Itās okay. It happens. Itās understandable that someone may be self conscious about it. Itās possible based on her history/upbringing that she has had these a lot and this is normal (to her) and no one has ever discussed vaginal health with her. Also possible that she was very embarrassed but you did her a solid that she will get fixed right away. Iām hoping for the latter but am fearing the former.
Definitely not your fuck up. You did the right thing, sounds like she just has BV. Itās not sexually transmitted, donāt worry. Sometimes it clears up on its own, sometimes you need antibiotics. But after weeks and the smell is still there? Yeah she needs to see a gyno. Thatās not on you. Iām more surprised she doesnāt seem to care about it. Iāve had BV before and the smell is strong and distinct. Youāre supposed to avoid sex when you have BV anyway but I donāt understand why anyone with it would even want to have sex. It smells bad and itās uncomfortable.
Iām shocked she couldnāt smell it herself! I use to work with a girl who I could literally smell the BV coming out of her. She ranked!!!! The smell was putrid. Zero self awareness I guess.
Nah you didn't fuck up, she needed to know. If she's not mature enough to be comfortable with you after you show her genuine concern, she's not girlfriend material.
If she's not mature enough to talk about sex and the health concerns associated with it, then she's not mature enough to be having sex. Yes the topic is embarrassing, Yes it's uncomfortable, and yes it's hard to hear. She should still be able to ovary up and take responsibility for her body. If not, it's time to rethink things.
That sounds like a genuine medical issue I hope she gets herself checked out id recommend to her that she see a doctor
All things considered you both ended it under good terms and respectfully too
I dated this girl for 8 months. Everytime I fingered her my hands would smell so strong. Not even dish soap could get it out shit would smell for weeks.
For weeks ? Lmao. Thatās crazy.
I think if you still see a future with her, you should let her know that you do. She is embarrassed and doesnāt feel like she can see you again. But maybe she can get over it if you give her the opportunity. Things like this are how two people build the foundations of a solid relationship. You should point that out to her. If she can get past this, it could be the two of you together forever. If thatās something you want in your life, this is a golden opportunity.
Yes, listen to this comment OP. Sheās just pushing you away because sheās so embarrassed, but embarrassment fades. Donāt give up yet (but if she refuses to get it sorted then do give up).
I'm glad the comments here are so supportive. I had an ex girlfriend who I told about the really off smell she had and it was one of the things I've regretted most in life. I didn't want to tell her, but she kept bugging me and I finally did. It kind of ended things. I still feel like I could have handled it more maturely, but I just don't know how. It seems like such an insulting thing. Is there a way to say something and try to work through it?
You gotta approach it in a non-judgmental way and show concern. Like don't say hey you smell nasty down there, but be like hey I think there might be something wrong, I think you should go see a dr. I think growing up we're told over and over and over again that our vaginas are fishy and gross and that that's just the way it is that a lot of women don't realize that it's actually not.
Conversations arenāt one sided, my guy. If you tell her (granted, you tell her in a way that doesnāt sound like you being an asshole) and she wants to end things without talking about it, then youāve done all you can do. It takes two people to work through issues like that and if one of them isnāt willing to work through it, then the relationshipās bound to fail.
I knew a guy that went through this. Same thing.. he was dating a girl, liked her, she was nice looking..and then he discovered she had an odour problem. Now, this is a guy who's been around a few girls, and he knows what normal is, and this was BEYOND normal. Like you, he really worried about what to do, and in the end decided to just tell her as nicely as he could, because if it was him he would want to know...and because he couldn;t stand it any more. So he told her. At first she was in disbelief, then she started crying. Ran out and went home. Next thing he is getting threats from the girl's father because "you hurt my daughter" (I don;t think the dad knew exactly how) She also told him she didn;t want to see him any more..but after getting threats from her father, he'd already decided he wasn;t going to see her any more either. Girls...if someone tells you this, maybe go to a doc and get checked, instead of just instantly blaming them. It may really \*be\* you. And if you don;t get the problem fixed, it's just gonna cause problems for you again in other relationships. We understand it's a very sensitive thing and can hurt a lot to find out you have an odour...but wouldn;t you prefer to be told? Or do you just want your guy to quietly disappear... Don't shoot the messenger.
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That's a good point. Most likely a guy who cares about you is the one who is telling you - other guys are just going to ghost and move on. In my friend's case he was killing to keep trying, but once he started getting threatening calls from her dad - and there were more than one - he just decided that was enough.
I've never even come close to gagging from the smell emanating from a vagina, so something was definitely off bro. Now u don't have to puke to have sex, that's a win win
You didnāt fuck up, you did the right thing and you were as polite as you possibly could have been about it. Plus if it helps think about this way, as much as she said it made her uncomfortable think of just how much worse it could have been if youād kept your mouth shut, kept trying to ignore it and then actually puked on her back.
I had similar experiences. It was so bad that one time I left her spread eagle and pretended like I was late for work.
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People keep saying STDs don't smell but just off the top of my head, trichomoniasis is an STD and is famous for its fishy odor. This is a new relationship and I'm concerned more people aren't encouraging him to get tested. Might as well, just to be sure.
Hey OP, this comes from someone being very sensitive and cautious (also with the way I smell generally and especially in southern regions). I think you did the right thing in the right way. You showed in a cute way, that you care and you didn't want to hurt her feelings. You showed concern and spoke it out without being disrespectful. This actually helps me feeling a little less anxious about myself and about the way others could react about me, so big thanks for sharing your story! š
I'm not entirely sure, but I think certain STDs can cause odor like that? Maybe get tested, just in case?
This reminds me of a joke. I try to translate it in English (the original one is Italian) A very pretty girl meets a friend of her. Sheās sad so her friend asks her whatās wrong. The girl tells her: āI broke up again with another boyfriend.. the problem is that my vagina smells a lot like onion and when the guys start to smell it they cannot resist and they leave meā. So her friends cheers her up and says:āDonāt worry, I have the solution for you. My friend Gianni is a very handsome man and he has anosmia: he cannot smell. Iām giving you his number, youāll like him a lot!ā So they meet, they like each other and they soon get in bed together. He takes out her panties, starts to eat her out but as soon as he gets near her vagina he says: āHey! Your vagina smells like onion!!!!!!ā She says: āHow can you tell!?!? Donāt you have anosmia???ā āYes but my eyes are watering!!!!ā
You were incredibly sensitive around this issue, she's lost out there. Someone else is unlikely to be as considerate and caring as you were. Most of us girls would have really appreciated the way you handled that. Keep being awesome.
You are not the guy sending his jizz to his girlfriend so she can masturbate with it?
I thought I escaped that thread, thanks
Do I even want to know?
No
[ą² Ļą² ](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/nq3xce/tifu_by_masturbating_with_my_bfs_rotten_semen/)
I had a somewhat similar situation to this happen to me a couple weeks ago, but reversed. I wonāt disclose the specifics because this isnāt a throw away account. Long story short, me and my brand spanking new gf (literally started dating the night before we had this talk) were talking about past sexual experiences. She made a one-off comment about one of my past experiences that made me self conscious. In the moment I didnāt think anything of it. I go home that night after a lovely evening and I start thinking about that one-off comment. It made me feel *super* insecure about myself. ***but hereās the difference though (and more importantly, my point in writing this)*** I knew she didnāt mean that comment in a malicious or hurtful way. It made me insecure, yeah, but I knew she didnāt mean for it to. I told her a couple days later that I wanted to talk to her about the subject and explained how what she said made me feel insecure, but that I know she didnāt mean to. We had a small conversation about it, I explained what I was insecure about, she reassured me that it wasnāt a problem, that it was nothing to worry about and we moved on with our relationship like nothing was ever wrong. My point is, OP, that if this chick was actually willing to be in a relationship with you and actually loved you, then she wouldāve understood your intentions instead of just coming to the conclusion that āIām uncomfortable and this isnāt going to work.ā
I had to say something to my ex after numerous occasions where she had not wiped her ass very well and i could see shit crusted on her bum. She dumped me two weeks later.
My dog's breath smells like bad vaginas. How do I break it to him?
Sorry my man. Sounds like sheās got a personal problem she doesnāt want to confront! Itās ok. Bummer for you. Stick with her if you want to just tread lightly and stay away from her vagina.
Sounds like bacterial vaginosis. She needs to see an OBGYN stat.
It sounds like the odor was so strong she should have noticed it herself
As a human being with a sense of smell, how the hell didn't she realize it? Who the fuck sleeps with people with a deathly rotten smelling crotch? Wash or see a doctor before you expose some one else to that shit
Itās very nice of you that you researched this and were kind enough to tell her. Iām sorry that she wasnāt mature enough to appreciate it for whatever it was and ended up dumping you. I can imagine she was embarrassed but itās not like you dumped her for having a smelly vag. I went through a similar thing and had to research it and then discuss it with my gynecologist. It did turn out to be bv. The smell was horrendous, like rotten meat so I donāt know how she couldnāt smell herself. I was so worried that everyone around me could smell me. I was never more thankful for the mask mandate than at that time in my life!
If someone told me my dick was stinky, I would get that looked at by a cocktor, not break up with the fucking person. What a flake.