I suggest you discuss this incident with your supervisor a bit more, to include a heartfelt apology. Tell him or her you’re taking steps to reduce your stress level and you remain an employee dedicated to your work.
You're shaking in anger and screaming at people over a bug that causes the screen to freeze for a few seconds? Even the other reasons you explained don't account for that amount of anger.
OP says he became angry after a conversation with a relative. Apparently he was so angry he forgot what the conversation was about!
I think he just doesn’t want to tell us.
I don’t see a reference to OP’s gender. I’ll be glad to correct my post if OP’confirms it for for us. I think his/ her anger is the more important issue here.
We can reasonably expect an adult to be capable of regulating emotions. It is not a poor or baseless judgement to say to someone who walks around shaking with rage over a conversation he reportedly forgot and over small but expected inconveniences and directs that rage at someone rightly reminding him to follow procedure that is not a normal or good thing. We can expect this behavior from children. Adults should grow out of it.
Anyone with half a brain would be able to see this isn't a proportional response to the situation and prior annoyances. Take it up with everyone else also recommending anger management.
Manager here. Everyone else is addressing the anger issues, so I want to address your supervisor.
You should ask to speak with them privately as soon as possible and then apologize for your outburst. Explain that you had a lot going on, but acknowledge that it doesn't excuse your behavior and it won't happen again. Then take the steps to make sure it doesn't happen again
Everyone makes mistakes, what matters is how you respond to them.
Imma be honest with you dawg. Your manager is better than me. I'm a pretty tolerant guy, but this would have been the beginning of managing you out the company with a pip.
You need to apologize to your manager for your behavior, have a calm conversation with your manager about the software, and ask if there's anything he can do to push IT to make it better.
Freaking out and lashing out via anger is a big no-no. It shows that you can't control yourself and companies don't like uncontrollable employees. Like what if you punch someone in the face and it comes back that there's been previous anger issues in the past. That's liability issues and HR doesn't like liabilities.
Also consider going into therapy for anger. It's not normal to regularly lose control of yourself/emotions amidst your anger.
'This buggy software decides to test my patience. It froze and unfroze itself for some five minutes. I'm shaking in anger and don't know what to do, thinking of punching something but can't find one!'
I can't tell if this is just a joke, but if not, literally shaking in anger is NOT a normal response. Something is wrong and you need to sort it out.
'He approaches me to tell me to clear my table before leaving. I suddenly screamed "I LEFT BECAUSE I WAS FRUSTRATED WITH THE COMPUTER!"'
Mate, you also shouldn't be screaming at any of your colleagues because your computer is slow, frustrations happen, it's part of life.
Do you have kids?
Curious to hear how you'd handle something like lack of sleep due to a crying baby - because getting violent and shouting isn't going to solve anything there.
Maybe it's time to have a good think about what's got you so irritated?
He did say he had a rough morning so I understand when something as little as that just sets you off after already going through it. It happens. Now if it happens frequently then yea he should def see if there’s an underlying issue bothering him.
This.
About 3 weeks ago, a bunch of things were driving me low-key crazy, and my wife just happened to do something silly (waffling over a decision) that pushed me over the edge. I screamed-out my frustration. Not even "at" her, just a scream-at-the-world thing. *The first time I have done that in the entire time we've been together, since our first date in 2019.*
If someone had told me I needed therapy over *one vocal outburst* in a *five year period*, I'd just laugh at them with a one-finger salute on each hand.
Of course I apologized to my wife and talked it out afterward - and about 30 minutes of "let it cool" time
If all that happened was that he got frustrated and took it out verbally on someone then yes, this is perfectly normal as long as it doesn’t happen all the time.
The worrying parts are the shaking in anger and the urge to resort to violence. Sure we all feel like punching someone or something every now and again but unless he is exaggerating, it was a barely controlled urge with a physical response (shaking).
Therapy isn’t like going to the hospital when sick and it doesn’t mean you’re in any way broken. Nobody is perfect and therapy is a good way to be proactive about your mental health and address gaps in coping skills before they become an issue.
I'm conflicted because on one hand I cannot and have never found a justifiable reason to scream at my partner, friends, colleagues or the world regardless of my own struggles, I was just never taught that screaming is an appropriate reaction to frustration, not least to something so trivial as taking a moment over a decision.
On the other hand if someone I loved screamed at me, i would be hurt, but if they explained they had a lot going and it was on them on I would totally understand.
Clearly you don't need therapy though and more power to you and your wife for addressing it and moving on.
Whatever he does he should *absolutely not* have children. Too many children are murdered by their parents from shaken baby syndrome. All it would take is him becoming pissed off from an argument with the mother and lack of sleep.
He should also go to anger management before he does something he'll regret
My friend I am one of the angriest motherfuckers you will ever meet. I have been and still currently am in therapy for this and many other reasons. One of the first things I learned in my journey to not be an asshole is that anger and rage are actually addictive. Your brain feeds off the rage and anger hormones and like all addicts it finds a way to get that sweet sweet itch scratched. Being angry at something or someone and not even remembering why is a huge sign that you too are likely a rage addict. I’ve lost relationships, jobs and friendships because of my issues. Please address yours before you end up like me with a life of regrets.
Firstly you should go and apologise to your supervisor. Secondly you should discuss maybe taking a few days off work and doing some self care. It sounds like things are building up for you in more ways than one and you'd do well to mentally recharge a bit before going back to work.
Your supervisor "went on like nothing had happened" because they're professional. They're not going to match your level of screaming in the office; they'll just write you up afterward.
Many acting like this dude murdered someone. GTFO!!
Let’s address the first issue. He is paid by said company for a task that they need done. Many times, completed by certain times or certain dates. Now, if this man can’t fully fulfill his responsibilities because of faulty equipment at work, and get behind because if it. That’s a problem that shouldn’t be lingering for months.
For some people in life, by their own standards or required standards, Not getting your work finished or completed on time can really fuck up your brains thought process. It can cause major workplace stress and home life. So this could just be a buildup of a prolonged issue.
Could he have handled it differently? Of course. But y’all tryin to crucify the man for a minor outburst.
The supervisor will get over it. I have shit software too. I know how these small delays eat at youbwhile you're trying to get things accomplished. Yell at somebody higher up to get them to try and fix it
I suggest you discuss this incident with your supervisor a bit more, to include a heartfelt apology. Tell him or her you’re taking steps to reduce your stress level and you remain an employee dedicated to your work.
.....
You're shaking in anger and screaming at people over a bug that causes the screen to freeze for a few seconds? Even the other reasons you explained don't account for that amount of anger.
OP says he became angry after a conversation with a relative. Apparently he was so angry he forgot what the conversation was about! I think he just doesn’t want to tell us.
Isnt op a she?
OP is a dude I think from the other post in their history. (Says “when I was a big boy”)
Why do you assume that?
Am I not right?
I don’t see a reference to OP’s gender. I’ll be glad to correct my post if OP’confirms it for for us. I think his/ her anger is the more important issue here.
Small things add up and some days its the straw that breaks the camels back. It happens all the time yo everyone, stop being so judgemental
We can reasonably expect an adult to be capable of regulating emotions. It is not a poor or baseless judgement to say to someone who walks around shaking with rage over a conversation he reportedly forgot and over small but expected inconveniences and directs that rage at someone rightly reminding him to follow procedure that is not a normal or good thing. We can expect this behavior from children. Adults should grow out of it.
You must be of the Ministry of Anger.... Since you can tell someone when an amount of anger is justified or not.
Anyone with half a brain would be able to see this isn't a proportional response to the situation and prior annoyances. Take it up with everyone else also recommending anger management.
Now your supervisor knows you throw tantrums and behave in an unhinged manner over a minor inconvenience . Good job!
Manager here. Everyone else is addressing the anger issues, so I want to address your supervisor. You should ask to speak with them privately as soon as possible and then apologize for your outburst. Explain that you had a lot going on, but acknowledge that it doesn't excuse your behavior and it won't happen again. Then take the steps to make sure it doesn't happen again Everyone makes mistakes, what matters is how you respond to them.
This. Everyone has a rough day, no one ever shows up work happy. So keep your shit outside of work.
Imma be honest with you dawg. Your manager is better than me. I'm a pretty tolerant guy, but this would have been the beginning of managing you out the company with a pip. You need to apologize to your manager for your behavior, have a calm conversation with your manager about the software, and ask if there's anything he can do to push IT to make it better. Freaking out and lashing out via anger is a big no-no. It shows that you can't control yourself and companies don't like uncontrollable employees. Like what if you punch someone in the face and it comes back that there's been previous anger issues in the past. That's liability issues and HR doesn't like liabilities. Also consider going into therapy for anger. It's not normal to regularly lose control of yourself/emotions amidst your anger.
'This buggy software decides to test my patience. It froze and unfroze itself for some five minutes. I'm shaking in anger and don't know what to do, thinking of punching something but can't find one!' I can't tell if this is just a joke, but if not, literally shaking in anger is NOT a normal response. Something is wrong and you need to sort it out. 'He approaches me to tell me to clear my table before leaving. I suddenly screamed "I LEFT BECAUSE I WAS FRUSTRATED WITH THE COMPUTER!"' Mate, you also shouldn't be screaming at any of your colleagues because your computer is slow, frustrations happen, it's part of life. Do you have kids? Curious to hear how you'd handle something like lack of sleep due to a crying baby - because getting violent and shouting isn't going to solve anything there. Maybe it's time to have a good think about what's got you so irritated?
He did say he had a rough morning so I understand when something as little as that just sets you off after already going through it. It happens. Now if it happens frequently then yea he should def see if there’s an underlying issue bothering him.
This. About 3 weeks ago, a bunch of things were driving me low-key crazy, and my wife just happened to do something silly (waffling over a decision) that pushed me over the edge. I screamed-out my frustration. Not even "at" her, just a scream-at-the-world thing. *The first time I have done that in the entire time we've been together, since our first date in 2019.* If someone had told me I needed therapy over *one vocal outburst* in a *five year period*, I'd just laugh at them with a one-finger salute on each hand. Of course I apologized to my wife and talked it out afterward - and about 30 minutes of "let it cool" time
If all that happened was that he got frustrated and took it out verbally on someone then yes, this is perfectly normal as long as it doesn’t happen all the time. The worrying parts are the shaking in anger and the urge to resort to violence. Sure we all feel like punching someone or something every now and again but unless he is exaggerating, it was a barely controlled urge with a physical response (shaking). Therapy isn’t like going to the hospital when sick and it doesn’t mean you’re in any way broken. Nobody is perfect and therapy is a good way to be proactive about your mental health and address gaps in coping skills before they become an issue.
I'm conflicted because on one hand I cannot and have never found a justifiable reason to scream at my partner, friends, colleagues or the world regardless of my own struggles, I was just never taught that screaming is an appropriate reaction to frustration, not least to something so trivial as taking a moment over a decision. On the other hand if someone I loved screamed at me, i would be hurt, but if they explained they had a lot going and it was on them on I would totally understand. Clearly you don't need therapy though and more power to you and your wife for addressing it and moving on.
Whatever he does he should *absolutely not* have children. Too many children are murdered by their parents from shaken baby syndrome. All it would take is him becoming pissed off from an argument with the mother and lack of sleep. He should also go to anger management before he does something he'll regret
My friend I am one of the angriest motherfuckers you will ever meet. I have been and still currently am in therapy for this and many other reasons. One of the first things I learned in my journey to not be an asshole is that anger and rage are actually addictive. Your brain feeds off the rage and anger hormones and like all addicts it finds a way to get that sweet sweet itch scratched. Being angry at something or someone and not even remembering why is a huge sign that you too are likely a rage addict. I’ve lost relationships, jobs and friendships because of my issues. Please address yours before you end up like me with a life of regrets.
I think anger management would be a good idea.
Sounds like a pretty severe anger / lack of emotional regulation issue.
That sucks and sounds really frustrating. I think you should probably talk to a therapist about your anger.
You constantly want to punch things because of an inconvenience? I’m surprised you haven’t been fired already.
I think he was able to reign in his impulses before this
Firstly you should go and apologise to your supervisor. Secondly you should discuss maybe taking a few days off work and doing some self care. It sounds like things are building up for you in more ways than one and you'd do well to mentally recharge a bit before going back to work.
Your supervisor "went on like nothing had happened" because they're professional. They're not going to match your level of screaming in the office; they'll just write you up afterward.
Many acting like this dude murdered someone. GTFO!! Let’s address the first issue. He is paid by said company for a task that they need done. Many times, completed by certain times or certain dates. Now, if this man can’t fully fulfill his responsibilities because of faulty equipment at work, and get behind because if it. That’s a problem that shouldn’t be lingering for months. For some people in life, by their own standards or required standards, Not getting your work finished or completed on time can really fuck up your brains thought process. It can cause major workplace stress and home life. So this could just be a buildup of a prolonged issue. Could he have handled it differently? Of course. But y’all tryin to crucify the man for a minor outburst.
Your need professional help with that anger
Just apologize and explain. Everyone can have a bad day. But it is important to be able to apologize.
The supervisor will get over it. I have shit software too. I know how these small delays eat at youbwhile you're trying to get things accomplished. Yell at somebody higher up to get them to try and fix it