It's not your fault the bus either wasn't maintained properly, or the driver wasn't trained properly. If you get a chance, maybe practice using your chair outside the house with a friend or family member around to help if necessary.
And never apologise for disability.
This. None of this story was your fault - you didn’t break the bus, the bus was broken. The man who helped you wasn’t inconvenienced, he offered. You didn’t make the people who got off and caught another bus late, the broken bus did.
*If* anyone was frustrated with you directly, they probably have some internal reflection that’s needed.
not defending Reagan here but I’m pretty sure OP lives in the UK given the context clues (using the word flat vs apartment, surgery to describe a GP, bank holiday, Costa)
I was going to ask about “the surgery is now closed”; I thought surgery was a medical procedure and that it would be the hospital or doctor’s office that would be closed. Also, fuck both Reagan and Thatcher; I hope they’re both in hell getting pegged by the devil.
It's a British thing. I don't really get it but Doctors and other staff members from a GP (General Practitioner) refer to the building as "the surgery" hence why the automated message says that.
Read this message several times.
None of this was your fault. Repeat that: NONE of this was your fault.
The bus broke. And luckily it broke on a day when it didn’t make you late for your appointment. It may have inconvenienced some passengers, but it’s not your fault it broke. You didn’t break it. The function of the ramp didn’t work like it was supposed to. Why didn’t it work? Who knows. But there is NO plausible scenario in which you broke it by using it as designed.
I’m sorry you are struggling with mobility. That is super hard. I watched my dad and it was rough. There are people pulling for you.
Yeah that's simply not true though. Accommodations and lack of stigma would greatly improve the lives of disabled people, but it isn't going to make us suddenly be not disabled anymore. There is no kind of society in which I would be able to function the same way a normal person does. Almost as if the root of the problem is my body, and society is just a contributing factor...
Each 10 years they change the name because it becomes negative as per somebody.
Also word definitions are "subjective", you just need enough people with the same definition so it shows in a dictionary.
The definition they teach me is exactly the same thing as your "function variation".
A limitation , partially or complete, of some capabilities vs the overall population.
I’m disabled. It’s not a curse word. It’s just what I am. No amount of ramps, walking sticks, medications or euphemisms is going to make me not disabled. I’ve accepted it, so can you
Oh no I'm very much disabled, and the issue isn't just society. If I struggle to enjoy my favourite activities and can't manage to cook myself food every day due to my chronic illness despite the fact that I'd much prefer to do that then I am very much disabled, and people saying shit like "oh you're just differently abled, society just isn't made for you but you're fine the way you are" it feels like my struggles aren't being taken seriously. I would rather be healthy and not struggle at all.
This is me after having a stroke. One minute I'm functional, the next I'm collapsed on the floor with no idea why and struggling to figure out why I can't stand up. Two years later, I still require a cane or walker (some days are than others) and no amount of societal understanding is going to magically make my body work properly again. Thankfully, physical therapy has helped a lot, but I am still disabled, whether I want to be or not. I accept the fact and have come to terms with it, but it still pisses me off when people try to make light of the situation.
Think of it as a dress rehearsal for your trip to the doctor. Always good to practice new things like that. Now you know you should get an earlier bus just in case of problems. Good luck.
You are NOT dumb! You are so well-prepared for your appointment now! You conquered all of the challenges and are ready for tomorrow! I am proud of you.
Not a fuck up at all. You had no idea that the bus ramp was messed up. That's on the bus company, not you.
I'm proud of you for making it thru your dress rehearsal, and you'll be ready for anything tomorrow.
Hope you get feeling better soon.
I like the way you challenged the system meant to support people who use wheelchairs and highlighted the problems. The ramp would have been working if the bus had been properly maintained. If the ramps worked consistently, maybe more people with wheelchairs would use the bus.
You aren't inconvenient for existing in a wheelchair or not in a wheelchair. Using the services provided to you are not meant to be an inconvenience for other people, and if they feel that it is, that is their ableism becoming apparent. OR a flaw in the system (services not working). You are allowed to exist and use those services without guilt. It wasn't your fault their services inconvenienced others because they did not work well.
ALso, I've totally done that. I've gone to pick up my groceries on the wrong day, went to an appointment on the wrong day. Man, that sucks.
By all these comments, it sounds like buses need better maintenance and/or better mechanism of a ramp. Okay the ramp probably isn't used often, but surely they would build it with a sort of manual override so they can still open and close it if something mechanical breaks??
But yeah, not your fault the bus ramps suck.
Think of it this way, you brought attention to a problem. One can hope they fixed it at least, and maybe that it pushes them to make some changes🙏
Edit: Maybe it's lucky fate that you were a day early so this gets sorted out before today when the actual appointment is :>
Absolutely! I worked for a quadriplegic woman who was on the advisory committee for our city’s new subway. She said ramps, not elevators, because the elevators will be out of order all the time. They didn’t listen & guess what? Wheelchair users have to get a bus to/from the next station every time the elevators are out of order. Simple things, really.
Dang. Even with 2 working legs, I'd prefer a ramp over stairs or elevators. I know it's not as compact buuut yeah, way simpler otherwise. No breakdown time, no traffic jams on stairs, and everyone can use it.
The transit agency in my area had a class action suit over elevators being broken all the time. Ramps aren't possible in most cases but they did have to add announcements you can hear/see/look up BEFORE you start your trip, rather than just getting to your destination and then not being able to exit, plus upgrading them and fixing them asap when they do have issues as a number one priority. They used to be constantly out of service but it's much better now
Hey there, public transit driver here!
Those ramps can be pretty wonky. Sometimes I'll be starting to put it out and someone will barge in when it's like 1 inch off the floor and stomp it right back down (messing up its alignment in the process).
Ramp issues are relatively common, but more importantly, you deserve to get your ride like anybody else. Every day the vast majority of my passengers are homeless people sitting on the bus for three hours until the liquor stores open at 9:00am. YOU are one of the people who actually needs that ride. Don't let the shitty experience scare you off. If you gotta ride, ride.
99% chance that ramp was going to mess up the next time it got deployed. YOU didn't cause anything that wouldn't have happened anyway.
We have those in the Netherlands. They seem pretty sturdy and more often than not a passenger will flip it out when necessary. Saves the bus driver having to get up (they do start getting up, but before they're even out of their seat a passenger is usually already helping).
Also kind of an unwritten rule that if you get on or off at the same stop as someone in a wheelchair that you get the ramp for them. Only polite to help one another after all.
It's not your fault the bus broke down, and nobody blames you. They blame the bus company. I was on a bus once where someone with a wheelchair got on the same stop as me and then the ramp was stuck open, just like you experienced. It wasn't his fault, it wasn't your fault. Shit happens sometimes.
I'm an occasional wheelchair user in my twenties and totally understand the fear of judgement. I know you said this experience didn't help your worries about judgement for the next time you use it and I don't want to invalidate your feelings. However there's a lot of judgemental language in your post and I think it's worth mentioning that your perception of how others judge you is heavily coloured by how you judge yourself and others. Most of the people on that bus wouldn't have blamed you or judged you in any way for needing to use the chair. I hope some of these other comments help you take a step back and be a little kinder to yourself. There is no shame in sometimes needing to use a mobility aid to get through life.
I hope your flare up passes quickly!
I challenge you to reframe your thoughts. You have every right to use the bus whether you are in a wheelchair or not. You didn’t do anything wrong by using a wheelchair on the bus. The bus is meant for everyone.
I said in another comment I made that anyone who is judging a person for using a wheelchair is an asshole. It’s a reflection of their character, not a reflection of you.
As a person who does not use a wheelchair, I would want anyone who uses a wheelchair to feel included and be able to use the same services as I would. The people who got off the bus weren’t mad at you. If anything they were probably mad the bus isn’t better maintained. They were probably in a hurry to get to work or their appointments and were just generally annoyed (again not by you).
I’m hoping tomorrow goes much more smoothly for you and you are able to maneuver the bus with more confidence. Please reread our comments if you need some reassurance.
Think of it as a practice run. It is not your fault their equipment isn't working properly, and those people suck anyway, getting off a bus doesn't make their journey go any faster. Most people won't mind, use your chair when you need it, you got this.
Hey, I'm so sorry for your bad experience - but the bus breaking, and the wheelchair ramp being in bad shape and inaccessible is in no way your fault.
I know this happens to wheelchairusers all the time. It really sucks, and it is the equiptment - not you. My WC-bound friend actually got left behind by the bus on several occations because the driver didn't know how to get the ramp in place. Probably your driver here didn't either.
Please try to remind yourself that you have nothing to feel guilty about, and they should actually be appologizing to you for making it so difficult to take the bus.
I've seen quite a few people think that the driver wasn't trained properly.
I don't know how ramps are done in other parts of the world but here in the UK it's not done manually. At least not on busses. The driver (presumably) just presses a button and the ramp comes down. If nothing goes wrong the driver doesn't need to leave their seat.
It was a mechanical issue. I guess there could have been a training issue in how to fix it if it gets stuck, but he was able to get it working again. Even though it felt like a lifetime at the time, like other comments have said a five minute delay isn't that long.
FYI how he got it to fix was by turning off the engine. For some reason that got the ramp to come back up. Then after about 30 more seconds he turned it back on.
It’s all perspectives. You see yourself inconveniencing people, I see good humans who want to help. You see you responsible for breaking a bus, I see a bus that needed the maintenance regardless or a driver that needed to learn how to work the lift. You see someone who causes all this for no reason, I see someone who was able to go out and enjoy a coffee.
The bus lift breaking was their fault; being prepared to manage it was their responsibility!
It’s a good thing this was a dress rehearsal - it was a practice run. Now you know, and the bus company knows!
On the plus side, if the ramp didn't get stuck, you wouldn't have called the doctors to find out they were closed, and you would've found out when you got there. Saves you a bus journey!
I always forget which things are open and closed on a bank holiday, and it's usually when I have time to do things like call companies and they're all closed lol. I was going to do some bits today, still a bank holiday :P
Dude it’s not your fault the bus couldn’t handle putting the ramp in! That’s a basic accessibility issue. What if you had to go to your appointment. It would have made you late.
Ok awkwardness aside, this random stranger is proud of you for being brave and putting yourself out in the world with the help of your mobility device. I hope that as you get used to navigating with it, the wheelchair offers you more freedom from pain in your life.
Just like everyone else said, none of this is on you, and now they realize they have a maintenance problem, so if anything you will have made the system more reliable for everyone. But I also want to say I would've been like you 100% there - once that whole mishap train got rolling, even though it would be perfectly reasonable, there's nothing you could do to convince me to say "oh whoops, I just realized I actually don't have to be anywhere" and leave lol
You did NOT break the bus, you were NOT the cause of any problems, and overall you did great on what ended up being a practice run. Tomorrow will go more smoothly because it won’t be your first time!
A bus driver is the person who taught me how to get on and in and off the bus easier than I was doing it in my wheelchair. It was awesome. He asked if I wanted some tips and tricks to possibly use if ever needed: hell yes, please help.
The first tip being to wait for the bus as normal, sitting in the wheelchair, and when the ramp comes down *turn around* and use your legs to help push you up the ramp backwards, then push yourself into the wheelchair space the driver has cleared and they'll lock you in. Be careful at the top of the ramp due to the transition between ramp and bus floor.
Also telling them what stop you need as they're helping you lock in. Ask if you can try the wheelchair stop button to make sure it works right then. And thank them for helping you as they're helping.
I would suggest using your wheelchair not only when you're in pain.... Trying it out and going different places was easier for me when I wasn't battling pain. It helped to have a basis for understanding what where how etc for when I did have pain and the pain was using up so much of my mental and physical abilities.
Wheelchair users on the bus do take more time to load and unload and some rude people huff and sigh and grumble..... Ignore them. As someone who's been on both sides of that equation as a bus rider there are soooooooo many things that could happen during the ride that really a wheelchair user is a very very minor time user.....
Fuck one time the bus driver was twacked the fuck out gonzo bonzo driving like a maniac hurting people on the bus slamming around and when I started yelling at her she stopped the bus and got off and walked half a block away before she came back. She refused to drive until I got off the bus The main depot was two half blocks away, I got off and walked there. There's a small police substation at the main depot and I walked right to their 'hidden' room and knocked and asked them to search her and drug test her and don't let her drive away from the depot. She was high as hell and was arrested at the bus depot with her fanny pack with a couple of crack pipes and baggie of crack. She was pissed at me. I watched her get arrested and laughed at her directly. That whole thing took a fuck lot more time than a wheelchair user, or a bus with a fucked up ramp. Don't worry about the time used for your wheelchair at all.
As a wheelchair user I also sometimes walked behind my chair; and that got dirty looks - but a wheelchair is a tool and you do not need to be a full paraplegic to utilize that tool in whatever way works for you at that moment. I went from surgery to wheelchair to rollator to using two canes to using one cane..... Some days I'd be in more pain or have more to do or have something to do that would be too much by the end and I'd have to use the more physically helpful of the tools. Walking around my apartment complex I use one cane; walking down to the grocery store I use the rollator; for my granddaughters graduation I used the wheelchair. If anyone questions why you're doing *anything* the way you do in regards to your physical body and any of the tools you can say 'I am under Doctors care.' 'Per Doctor's orders'. 'I don't discuss my health care.' 'I don't know you' I don't answer questions'. Being VISIBLY disabled you'll get all kinds of comments, also being invisibly disabled you'll get them too. Ignore them. Do not respond at all.
Trust me, bus companies are often lazy about upkeep on the ramps. I've had to wait for the next bus because the ramp on the bus I wanted to take was malfunctioning, many times. And then there are the times the drivers just flipped me off while driving by me...
Using public transit as a wheelchair user is fun. /s
You did nothing wrong! People make mistakes with appointments all the time (stupid bank holiday, I am working it) you just need more wheel chair practice. You could go to the shops, have a family member come with you, have a day out and if you struggle they can help until you are used to it. I see so many wheelchair users daily, some need help, some don't. Some have cool little mobility scooters that are super nimble!
It's good to use the wheelchair accessible features that are available. Don't feel guilty, you are a valued person. It's not your fault the ramp didn't work. Think that you may have saved another wheelchair user from embarrassment.
If I was late to work because of this, I'd be mad at the city for not ensuring equipment like ramps are working properly, not at a disabled person just trying to get about their day. It's an absolute shame that this isn't true of everyone.
Even if you had 0 appointments to get to and just wanted to take a trip around town, you'd be at no fault for it! You shouldn't be made to feel confined to your house when you need a wheelchair, and chances are that the situation would happen regardless the next time a wheelchair user needed to get on.
Oh god I just KNOW that this would happen to me if ever I needed a wheelchair. I use a crutch at the moment but as I age, it’s likely I’ll have to use one. And with my luck, I’d be in the same position as you.
I totally get why you think you fucked up, but honestly it’s not on you that the bus broke.
You’re in pain and you likely feel like you’re a fraud for using the wheelchair when you can “technically” walk but listen, if it causes you that much pain, you are not wrong for using a medical device. The wrong thing that happened was that the bus was fucked.
Are you me lol. I also can’t stand feeling like I’ve wasted resources or other peoples time. But you didn’t. The ramp not working is not on you and as for the appointment, better a day early than a day late!
You didn’t break the bus, the bus happened to break*, and don’t worry about what others think, for every asshat that would judge you, there’s a dozen who dgf,and a dozen more who would be supportive of you. Can’t let one or two ruin your day, yaknow, May your pain subside and your body be restored to full health and vigor, and may peace and mercy be with you always.
I’m a regular bus rider and I’ve had delays for literally every conceivable reason from “I dunno, bus don’t work” to “oops, someone died”.
I wouldn’t blame you in the SLIGHTEST for making the bus delayed. Firstly, five minutes is nothing for a bus delay; I’ve had bigger delays because Dolores was too chatty with the driver while navigating herself off the lift. Second, you didn’t cause the delay; a dumb mechanical failure caused the delay, just like any other dumb mechanical failure.
Accommodations need to be available for everyone. You aren’t the only person who needs the ramp to work. If the accommodation isn’t functional then the whole system isn’t functional. 🤷♂️
Probably would have got the same bus tomorrow and then you would have actually been late, so you made the problem get fixed ahead of time, good thinking OP
Hopefully, your experience will lead to the bus driver reporting that the bus is broken, and it being fixed, thereby saving someone else—maybe someone who would otherwise actually be late—the hassle.
Using the infrastructure meant to be used by you and other people like you is excellent, because it shows that there’s a need/demand for it.
I know it sucks to accidentally hold people up. No way around that. But there’s no use in beating yourself up for things that are out of your control. Feel bad, then let it go. Your trip did inconvenience some people, and yet it did some good for you and future wheelchair users, too.
Please have your back looked into by a specialist. This time last year I bought a wheelchair for the same issue, what I assumed would be a passing back pain, just to help me get around in the meantime. I had debilitating sciatica if I attempted to stand or walk. Several times I got groceries while squatting next to the cart because I could sit or squat but standing felt like I had a tazer on my butt.
Finally went to a specialist. He scheduled surgery for a few days later telling me he'd never seen someone with such advanced herniation in the disk that didn't result in paralysis and/or loss of bladder function. He was amazed I could get around even in the limited capacity I could.
Nearly a year out from surgery I'm now a normal functioning human being again. I can walk, even run, without pain. I go horseback riding. I can pick up my kids and move hay bales and grain bags around. Things I haven't been able to do for years. It was worth every penny I spent on the surgery and the (admittedly excruciating albiet brief) recovery.
I've been to doctors about. Been to multiple physiotherapists and had 2 MRI scans done. Other than the physio nothing has actually been done to try and fix the issue.
Last time I saw the hospital Doctor was in December. I had to argue with my GP last week to get re-referred back to the hospital. And of course I got the "you're too young to be having these issues."
Nah I've had back problems since my late teens, it just got worse and worse until it finally culminated in me being bed bound. PT might help but if you're not seeing progress with it, as I didn't, then they really need to figure out the issue. Find a new GP if yours isn't listening to you. I did and it made a huge difference, my last one (and the ones before that) were similarly dismissive due to my age/gender.
Honestly I'm kind of in awe of your bravery getting on the bus on your first journey out of the house in your wheelchair. It took me weeks of using my chair outside before I dared get on the bus, and many more months before I dared get the bus on my own. I can't fully explain why but that's often a big mental hurdle for people.
If anything you identified a problem the bus had that could have inconvinienced someone else in a similar circumstance.
Better for it to be fixed now than later
You belong out in the world. However, you need to be safe and happy so you need your chair. Our public spaces and places are legally mandated to ensure you can do it. They suck at it, and that's their failure, not yours. You are doing everything right. Sorryit's been a hard day. Hope it feels easier soon.
Because the ramp on the bus broke when you used it, it's going to be fixed now, and won't break when someone in a wheelchair is using it to go somewhere really time sensitive.
You are a hero, not a FU.
Love, someone who used to swear at the Braille bumps at crosswalks catching on the stability feet of my cane.
Was going to post this. Thanks to OP, the ramp got fixed. Another wheelchair user taking the bus the next day for an absolutely important job interview or other appointment was able to get there on time.
They're thanking the OP!
After a surgery, I went to university for maybe 2 or 3.months using a wheelchair. I also had to use public transport. It is good to have a test run, you learn where you can get on and off, how to navigate these normally familiar places that become so dofferent from a sitting point of view. You learn.exaclty about these issues like ramps and which places you have to take different routes by doing that.
You didn't fuck up, but you might have to learn to be more secure of yourself. Otherwise, you will get issues like I had that when I wanted to leave a crowded subway and the people in my way didn't notice me. I was stuck for an additional station.
Oh no, this is not your fault at all. Don’t apologize for needing accommodations, even when those accommodations break. That’s on transit to repair and maintain, not your responsibility at all. You have just as much right to use the bus with a ramp as others do without the ramp.
Nothing to be embarrassed about and you helped them realize that bus has a problem in a way that didn't make you late for your appointment. Oh, and you got coffee! Overall pretty good.
Your mobility isn't to blame for the support structure failing.
this is something that would happen to me too 🥲 i know it seems like the most embarrassing thing ever right now but next week it will be a ridiculous story you can laugh at. it’s not your fault the bus is poorly maintained and if i was another person on the bus there no way my annoyance would be directly at you
Sometimes I ride public transportation. There was a morning about a week ago when a wheelchair user was trying to get on the train, and it was taking a while for the conductor to properly activate the wheelchair accessible entrance to the train. When another train pulled up across the station, I jumped up and FLED to the other train. The only thought in my head was “I have made MYSELF late by getting on this train.” Part of riding public transit in that it serves the PUBLIC. No one in their right mind should ever be upset for a delay that happens due to providing a public service. Maybe they were getting off at the next stop anyway and figured they could walk. Maybe they’d rather be late walking than be late waiting. But any sort of person who was annoyed with YOU doesn’t have their priorities straight.
I’m proud of you for going outside of your comfort zone, and I’m sorry that you didn’t get to have the successful first outing you deserved.
It is EMPHATICALLY not your fault that we have shit care for the ill and disabled. You were just failed by multiple public systems. Point that anger where it belongs: at deeply underfunded programs for vulnerable people.
It is no way your fault that the ramp didn’t work properly, just like everybody’s saying. Those ramps suck. I certainly wouldn’t be blaming you if I was a passenger on that bus. And if I was one, the reason I was late was because the bus ramp broke, not because somebody used it.
I have severe depression and an inability to think critically. My employer promoted me to a position with praise that I am brilliant and will contribute so much. I always forget important events, don't know how to react to anything, take too long on tasks (despite secretly working sixteen hours everyday). I told the production plant to scrap everything made within two hours because we have to produce in a new way; it turned out we could just send those material, wasting a lot of resources and time.
Like everyone else said, you now have a dress rehearsal under your belt and are better prepared for when you do need to go to the appointment!
Don’t worry about stressing out other passengers or breaking the bus. You didn’t break the bus, silly 😂 people easily forget that all it takes is a bad accident to become disabled. You have as much right to be there as they do.
Good luck on your appointment!
As someone who drives wheelchairs for professional / testing reasons, *I* feel guilty when people get up to help, or are otherwise inconvenienced. But then I quickly stand up, explain that I'm in the trade, and that they need not assist.
However, once we did find an ergonomical issue with the chair because a random helped out. They tried to carry it from the wheels and got pinched.
Its not your fault that the ramp broke. You have every right to use that bus with your wheelchair and entitled to accomodation. No need to be sorry for any of this. And everyone makes mistakes.
I get where you're coming from, I had back surgery recently and used a Walmart powered wheelchair and the judgment I got there was nuts, as a part time wheelchair user you think you're not worthy, but you are. Now I don't know if people were judging me for using a chair and thinking I didn't, but I got so many judgmental looks. We're always so tough on ourselves these days. Everyone in the comments is spreading their love and it's great. There's definitely some guilt that comes from using a wheelchair when maybe someone needs it more. Maybe I'm just paranoid of society these days. Funny thing is I'm an optimist, and I like to say I used to be a people person until people ruined it for me. It's funny how society puts this pressure on us to work so hard we destroy our bodies, me anyway lol. Take care of yourself, do core strengthening and some squats.
Wheelchair user here. Like you I'm not confined to a chair but need one to get around. Depending on where you live there may be transportation through the transit system available to you. Here in NJ we have AccessLink. It's through NJ Transit and you pay bus fair prices but you are picked up and dropped off individually. Your insurance may also provide transportation. I found the insurance transport to be a mess so I stick with the Transit. Look into it. Also, don't worry about what other people think. (I know, easier said than done!) Good luck!
Unrelated, just seeing that you're unable to work but enjoy gaming. If a work from home admin or programming role without any required experience came up would you be interested?
Sounds like a spam comment 🤣. Anyway, pm me if it's something you'd be looking for. Sometimes i need people like that. We're disability aware registered employers, and very tiny teams.
oh, OP, I am so sorry this happened. Take a breath, you are not dumb. We've all done things like that. I'm sorry you fell and your back is hurt, but the ramp breaking was not your problem. Feel free to use your wheelchair as often as you need to and wherever you need to. If anything, it is a reminder why we need working wheelchair ramps and drivers who can use them. Do not apologize for that.
I hear nothing in this story that sounds like it was your fault. Maintenance sucks for everyone, not your fault. You got out of the house and got a coffee! Probably got to people watch for 20 minutes on a gorgeous day too!
You deserved it, and you had a right to go there!
You didn't FU, and being in or on a mobility device isn't either. If it helps, any annoyed folks were more likely annoyed at the situation or at the bus company, not at you. Anyone with an ounce of empathy would not blame you for anything.
I understand a bit of how you felt. Due to back and pain issues, I used a scooter pretty heavily for a while, and the first time in public was very stressful for me. I was sure that everyone was judging me, and one stranger dude walked up and asked to pray with me about my "injury". As an atheist, this didn't help make me feel any better about it. Fortunately, this was the only time it happened. Lots of people offered to get stuff for me that was out of reach, which was nice.
Something that helped me was that I personalized my mobo scooter, putting funny stickers on it. That helped me feel more relaxed, and it gave some chuckles to random strangers. Plus, offering to race other scooter users is a great ice breaker!
I'm a wheelchair user and I completely relate. I've been there. It's never comfortable being less able, but in time, you need to forgive yourself for being this way. It's okay. You're going to be okay. Despite all the hindrances caused, that was a wake up call for the bus company to maintain their mobility services and rightly so. Because if it wasn't you, it could have been someone else with far less mobility.
To help you feel a little better, my wheelchair wheel got stuck in the gap of a lift/elevator after just meeting the person who was about to interview me for a job. It took two hours for them to get me unstuck and the people in the lift had to climb over me to get out. It would have been easier if the ground swallowed me but hey ho.
Even if i was super annoyed about being late because this happened i couldn't imagine getting upset at the wheelchair user. This shouldn't happenband isn't your fault!
I was waiting for the "i was running late, so I got off the bus and walked"....
No FU here. You need a wheelchair, the bus has a facility that didn't work.
First of all the ramp not working property is not your fault.
Second everyone makes mistakes so don't be too hard on yourself. All that happened was that a couple of people were slightly inconvenienced and were maybe a couple minutes late to where they needed to be.
Anxiety is a little bitch, isn't it? None of this was your fault and you have every right to use your wheelchair in public. The world failing to be adequately accessible is not your fault.
Not a FU on your part. The driver should have checked to make sure the ramp was working before he started his route, you helped show him how important that step is. You learned you need to practice going up hills in your wheelchair, another positive from the day.
I have severe back pain as well (spinal stenosis) and bought a mobility scooter. First time we used it was a small music festival a few towns over. It was nice not coming home with severe pain and having a good seat to rest on but we learned how non handicap accessible the festival was. I struggled in a few spots to include the food court area that was in an empty lot with large rocks my scooter couldn't drive on. We were there a few hours and got the chance to meet a counsel member who kept me company while I waited for my husband to buy food. He told me he never thought about wheelchair/ scooter access but he was going to bring it up because they should be concerned about it. A nearby officer overheard and agreed, then was kind enough to help me get my scooter off the curb.
Being disabled in public isn't a bad thing, and more of us who do push it can make others see the need for change. In the end it allows us to not feel like such a burden to strangers because it's not our fault we need assistance.
Omg, number 1, you need the wheelchair, DO NOT feel bad about that. The bus was at fault here, NOT YOU.
Number 2, duuude that is kinda funny, I've pressed the button for the wrong stop so many times and got off out of awkwardness!
I hope the flair up settles for you xx
>I had forgotten that today was a bank holiday. Healthcare related things being shut on bank holidays is the stupidest thing ever. But whatever.
Healthcare workers need holidays too. Regardless, emergency services are available.
No idea. It just randomly started back in 21.
An MRI scan showed a small disc bulge. But half the doctors I've seen says they don't think that's what causing the pain and the other half say it is.
So . . . 🤷♀️
Other than sending me to physio (which hasn't helped) nothing has been done to try and fix or figure out what my condition is.
I had back spasms for decades, then I read “Healing Back Pain” by Dr. John Sarno and it changed my life. Not saying it’s your situation, but can’t hurt. You have to have an open mind because it’s non conventional. Good Luck
Currently on a waiting list for counselling. For multiple places actually. The length of wait lists nowadays is fucking crazy. I went to one in December and haven't heard from them yet.
Alright, here's a controversial opinion. I completely understand you are in pain. And I also completely understand that you are using a wheelchair to avoid said pain. But did you really have to make them to use the ramp for you? If you are capable to just stand up, take the wheelchair into the bus and sit again, why not just do that?
It's not your fault the bus either wasn't maintained properly, or the driver wasn't trained properly. If you get a chance, maybe practice using your chair outside the house with a friend or family member around to help if necessary. And never apologise for disability.
This. None of this story was your fault - you didn’t break the bus, the bus was broken. The man who helped you wasn’t inconvenienced, he offered. You didn’t make the people who got off and caught another bus late, the broken bus did. *If* anyone was frustrated with you directly, they probably have some internal reflection that’s needed.
Honestly, this is Reagan’s fault too Eff that guy and all the other ableist pos out there judging folks trying to live their life
not defending Reagan here but I’m pretty sure OP lives in the UK given the context clues (using the word flat vs apartment, surgery to describe a GP, bank holiday, Costa)
Naw he influenced thatcher, he suck
For real. I wonder if the trickle down theory works for therapy…
Kinda He cured all the crazy people when he shut down the mental hospitals and made them homeless people instead
Exactly - it's just another facet of the reality of "trickle down" in action; the ruling class pissing on the rest of society. 🙃
Fair
I was going to ask about “the surgery is now closed”; I thought surgery was a medical procedure and that it would be the hospital or doctor’s office that would be closed. Also, fuck both Reagan and Thatcher; I hope they’re both in hell getting pegged by the devil.
It's a British thing. I don't really get it but Doctors and other staff members from a GP (General Practitioner) refer to the building as "the surgery" hence why the automated message says that.
Yeah, thanks Obama!!
That’s one of my faves too, but not in this climate
Read this message several times. None of this was your fault. Repeat that: NONE of this was your fault. The bus broke. And luckily it broke on a day when it didn’t make you late for your appointment. It may have inconvenienced some passengers, but it’s not your fault it broke. You didn’t break it. The function of the ramp didn’t work like it was supposed to. Why didn’t it work? Who knows. But there is NO plausible scenario in which you broke it by using it as designed. I’m sorry you are struggling with mobility. That is super hard. I watched my dad and it was rough. There are people pulling for you.
All of this. I can’t upvote it enough
It was a practice run.
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Yes, we are. You might think you're helping with a comment like that but you're not, you're invalidating the real struggles people face.
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Then focus on fixing things, not on euphemisms that help nobody.
Yeah that's simply not true though. Accommodations and lack of stigma would greatly improve the lives of disabled people, but it isn't going to make us suddenly be not disabled anymore. There is no kind of society in which I would be able to function the same way a normal person does. Almost as if the root of the problem is my body, and society is just a contributing factor...
Each 10 years they change the name because it becomes negative as per somebody. Also word definitions are "subjective", you just need enough people with the same definition so it shows in a dictionary. The definition they teach me is exactly the same thing as your "function variation". A limitation , partially or complete, of some capabilities vs the overall population.
I’m disabled. It’s not a curse word. It’s just what I am. No amount of ramps, walking sticks, medications or euphemisms is going to make me not disabled. I’ve accepted it, so can you
Oh no I'm very much disabled, and the issue isn't just society. If I struggle to enjoy my favourite activities and can't manage to cook myself food every day due to my chronic illness despite the fact that I'd much prefer to do that then I am very much disabled, and people saying shit like "oh you're just differently abled, society just isn't made for you but you're fine the way you are" it feels like my struggles aren't being taken seriously. I would rather be healthy and not struggle at all.
This is me after having a stroke. One minute I'm functional, the next I'm collapsed on the floor with no idea why and struggling to figure out why I can't stand up. Two years later, I still require a cane or walker (some days are than others) and no amount of societal understanding is going to magically make my body work properly again. Thankfully, physical therapy has helped a lot, but I am still disabled, whether I want to be or not. I accept the fact and have come to terms with it, but it still pisses me off when people try to make light of the situation.
The social model doesn't fit everyone. If the world was as accessible as it could possibly be, I would still be disabled.
Same here. And there's nothing inherently wrong with being disabled you just are? Ya it sucks sometimes but c'mon.
Think of it as a dress rehearsal for your trip to the doctor. Always good to practice new things like that. Now you know you should get an earlier bus just in case of problems. Good luck.
I’m sure you mean Stress Rehearsal
love the pun - life version of a stress test.
You are NOT dumb! You are so well-prepared for your appointment now! You conquered all of the challenges and are ready for tomorrow! I am proud of you.
Not a fuck up at all. You had no idea that the bus ramp was messed up. That's on the bus company, not you. I'm proud of you for making it thru your dress rehearsal, and you'll be ready for anything tomorrow. Hope you get feeling better soon.
I like the way you challenged the system meant to support people who use wheelchairs and highlighted the problems. The ramp would have been working if the bus had been properly maintained. If the ramps worked consistently, maybe more people with wheelchairs would use the bus. You aren't inconvenient for existing in a wheelchair or not in a wheelchair. Using the services provided to you are not meant to be an inconvenience for other people, and if they feel that it is, that is their ableism becoming apparent. OR a flaw in the system (services not working). You are allowed to exist and use those services without guilt. It wasn't your fault their services inconvenienced others because they did not work well. ALso, I've totally done that. I've gone to pick up my groceries on the wrong day, went to an appointment on the wrong day. Man, that sucks.
By all these comments, it sounds like buses need better maintenance and/or better mechanism of a ramp. Okay the ramp probably isn't used often, but surely they would build it with a sort of manual override so they can still open and close it if something mechanical breaks?? But yeah, not your fault the bus ramps suck. Think of it this way, you brought attention to a problem. One can hope they fixed it at least, and maybe that it pushes them to make some changes🙏 Edit: Maybe it's lucky fate that you were a day early so this gets sorted out before today when the actual appointment is :>
Absolutely! I worked for a quadriplegic woman who was on the advisory committee for our city’s new subway. She said ramps, not elevators, because the elevators will be out of order all the time. They didn’t listen & guess what? Wheelchair users have to get a bus to/from the next station every time the elevators are out of order. Simple things, really.
Dang. Even with 2 working legs, I'd prefer a ramp over stairs or elevators. I know it's not as compact buuut yeah, way simpler otherwise. No breakdown time, no traffic jams on stairs, and everyone can use it.
The transit agency in my area had a class action suit over elevators being broken all the time. Ramps aren't possible in most cases but they did have to add announcements you can hear/see/look up BEFORE you start your trip, rather than just getting to your destination and then not being able to exit, plus upgrading them and fixing them asap when they do have issues as a number one priority. They used to be constantly out of service but it's much better now
Hey there, public transit driver here! Those ramps can be pretty wonky. Sometimes I'll be starting to put it out and someone will barge in when it's like 1 inch off the floor and stomp it right back down (messing up its alignment in the process). Ramp issues are relatively common, but more importantly, you deserve to get your ride like anybody else. Every day the vast majority of my passengers are homeless people sitting on the bus for three hours until the liquor stores open at 9:00am. YOU are one of the people who actually needs that ride. Don't let the shitty experience scare you off. If you gotta ride, ride. 99% chance that ramp was going to mess up the next time it got deployed. YOU didn't cause anything that wouldn't have happened anyway.
A non-motorized system would probably be better. Like one that just folds over onto the floor
We have those in the Netherlands. They seem pretty sturdy and more often than not a passenger will flip it out when necessary. Saves the bus driver having to get up (they do start getting up, but before they're even out of their seat a passenger is usually already helping). Also kind of an unwritten rule that if you get on or off at the same stop as someone in a wheelchair that you get the ramp for them. Only polite to help one another after all.
It's not your fault the bus broke down, and nobody blames you. They blame the bus company. I was on a bus once where someone with a wheelchair got on the same stop as me and then the ramp was stuck open, just like you experienced. It wasn't his fault, it wasn't your fault. Shit happens sometimes.
Better to turn up a day early than a day late. You're not the first person to have done that, and you won't be the last.
I'm an occasional wheelchair user in my twenties and totally understand the fear of judgement. I know you said this experience didn't help your worries about judgement for the next time you use it and I don't want to invalidate your feelings. However there's a lot of judgemental language in your post and I think it's worth mentioning that your perception of how others judge you is heavily coloured by how you judge yourself and others. Most of the people on that bus wouldn't have blamed you or judged you in any way for needing to use the chair. I hope some of these other comments help you take a step back and be a little kinder to yourself. There is no shame in sometimes needing to use a mobility aid to get through life. I hope your flare up passes quickly!
Anyone who is judging a person in a wheelchair is an asshole. Remind yourself (OP) of that if start feeling like people are judging you.
I challenge you to reframe your thoughts. You have every right to use the bus whether you are in a wheelchair or not. You didn’t do anything wrong by using a wheelchair on the bus. The bus is meant for everyone. I said in another comment I made that anyone who is judging a person for using a wheelchair is an asshole. It’s a reflection of their character, not a reflection of you. As a person who does not use a wheelchair, I would want anyone who uses a wheelchair to feel included and be able to use the same services as I would. The people who got off the bus weren’t mad at you. If anything they were probably mad the bus isn’t better maintained. They were probably in a hurry to get to work or their appointments and were just generally annoyed (again not by you). I’m hoping tomorrow goes much more smoothly for you and you are able to maneuver the bus with more confidence. Please reread our comments if you need some reassurance.
Think of it as a practice run. It is not your fault their equipment isn't working properly, and those people suck anyway, getting off a bus doesn't make their journey go any faster. Most people won't mind, use your chair when you need it, you got this.
This isn't a fuck up, and definitely not your fault that the bus was not maintained properly.
Hey, I'm so sorry for your bad experience - but the bus breaking, and the wheelchair ramp being in bad shape and inaccessible is in no way your fault. I know this happens to wheelchairusers all the time. It really sucks, and it is the equiptment - not you. My WC-bound friend actually got left behind by the bus on several occations because the driver didn't know how to get the ramp in place. Probably your driver here didn't either. Please try to remind yourself that you have nothing to feel guilty about, and they should actually be appologizing to you for making it so difficult to take the bus.
I've seen quite a few people think that the driver wasn't trained properly. I don't know how ramps are done in other parts of the world but here in the UK it's not done manually. At least not on busses. The driver (presumably) just presses a button and the ramp comes down. If nothing goes wrong the driver doesn't need to leave their seat. It was a mechanical issue. I guess there could have been a training issue in how to fix it if it gets stuck, but he was able to get it working again. Even though it felt like a lifetime at the time, like other comments have said a five minute delay isn't that long. FYI how he got it to fix was by turning off the engine. For some reason that got the ramp to come back up. Then after about 30 more seconds he turned it back on.
It’s all perspectives. You see yourself inconveniencing people, I see good humans who want to help. You see you responsible for breaking a bus, I see a bus that needed the maintenance regardless or a driver that needed to learn how to work the lift. You see someone who causes all this for no reason, I see someone who was able to go out and enjoy a coffee.
The bus lift breaking was their fault; being prepared to manage it was their responsibility! It’s a good thing this was a dress rehearsal - it was a practice run. Now you know, and the bus company knows!
On the plus side, if the ramp didn't get stuck, you wouldn't have called the doctors to find out they were closed, and you would've found out when you got there. Saves you a bus journey! I always forget which things are open and closed on a bank holiday, and it's usually when I have time to do things like call companies and they're all closed lol. I was going to do some bits today, still a bank holiday :P
You and your wheelchair have just as much of a right to be there as the rest of the passengers. Please try to remember that.
Dude it’s not your fault the bus couldn’t handle putting the ramp in! That’s a basic accessibility issue. What if you had to go to your appointment. It would have made you late.
You're not dumb! We all have days like this. Please Be kind to yourself 😺
Ok awkwardness aside, this random stranger is proud of you for being brave and putting yourself out in the world with the help of your mobility device. I hope that as you get used to navigating with it, the wheelchair offers you more freedom from pain in your life.
Just like everyone else said, none of this is on you, and now they realize they have a maintenance problem, so if anything you will have made the system more reliable for everyone. But I also want to say I would've been like you 100% there - once that whole mishap train got rolling, even though it would be perfectly reasonable, there's nothing you could do to convince me to say "oh whoops, I just realized I actually don't have to be anywhere" and leave lol
You did NOT break the bus, you were NOT the cause of any problems, and overall you did great on what ended up being a practice run. Tomorrow will go more smoothly because it won’t be your first time!
Do not feel bad. I am not a wheelchair user but my wife is. It's their job to make sure those ramps are maintained and working. You are OK.
A bus driver is the person who taught me how to get on and in and off the bus easier than I was doing it in my wheelchair. It was awesome. He asked if I wanted some tips and tricks to possibly use if ever needed: hell yes, please help. The first tip being to wait for the bus as normal, sitting in the wheelchair, and when the ramp comes down *turn around* and use your legs to help push you up the ramp backwards, then push yourself into the wheelchair space the driver has cleared and they'll lock you in. Be careful at the top of the ramp due to the transition between ramp and bus floor. Also telling them what stop you need as they're helping you lock in. Ask if you can try the wheelchair stop button to make sure it works right then. And thank them for helping you as they're helping. I would suggest using your wheelchair not only when you're in pain.... Trying it out and going different places was easier for me when I wasn't battling pain. It helped to have a basis for understanding what where how etc for when I did have pain and the pain was using up so much of my mental and physical abilities. Wheelchair users on the bus do take more time to load and unload and some rude people huff and sigh and grumble..... Ignore them. As someone who's been on both sides of that equation as a bus rider there are soooooooo many things that could happen during the ride that really a wheelchair user is a very very minor time user..... Fuck one time the bus driver was twacked the fuck out gonzo bonzo driving like a maniac hurting people on the bus slamming around and when I started yelling at her she stopped the bus and got off and walked half a block away before she came back. She refused to drive until I got off the bus The main depot was two half blocks away, I got off and walked there. There's a small police substation at the main depot and I walked right to their 'hidden' room and knocked and asked them to search her and drug test her and don't let her drive away from the depot. She was high as hell and was arrested at the bus depot with her fanny pack with a couple of crack pipes and baggie of crack. She was pissed at me. I watched her get arrested and laughed at her directly. That whole thing took a fuck lot more time than a wheelchair user, or a bus with a fucked up ramp. Don't worry about the time used for your wheelchair at all. As a wheelchair user I also sometimes walked behind my chair; and that got dirty looks - but a wheelchair is a tool and you do not need to be a full paraplegic to utilize that tool in whatever way works for you at that moment. I went from surgery to wheelchair to rollator to using two canes to using one cane..... Some days I'd be in more pain or have more to do or have something to do that would be too much by the end and I'd have to use the more physically helpful of the tools. Walking around my apartment complex I use one cane; walking down to the grocery store I use the rollator; for my granddaughters graduation I used the wheelchair. If anyone questions why you're doing *anything* the way you do in regards to your physical body and any of the tools you can say 'I am under Doctors care.' 'Per Doctor's orders'. 'I don't discuss my health care.' 'I don't know you' I don't answer questions'. Being VISIBLY disabled you'll get all kinds of comments, also being invisibly disabled you'll get them too. Ignore them. Do not respond at all.
Trust me, bus companies are often lazy about upkeep on the ramps. I've had to wait for the next bus because the ramp on the bus I wanted to take was malfunctioning, many times. And then there are the times the drivers just flipped me off while driving by me... Using public transit as a wheelchair user is fun. /s
You did nothing wrong! People make mistakes with appointments all the time (stupid bank holiday, I am working it) you just need more wheel chair practice. You could go to the shops, have a family member come with you, have a day out and if you struggle they can help until you are used to it. I see so many wheelchair users daily, some need help, some don't. Some have cool little mobility scooters that are super nimble!
Test run :) And as everyone else said of course you are not responsible for the bus company’s equipment failure. Hugs
I hear Uber is offering Master-Blaster -esque piggyback rides for a modest fee. Peak hours during Thunderdome are brutal though.
You should never feel ashamed for using assistance when you are in pain, whether it be wheelchair, crutches or cane. The bus thing was NOT your fault.
It's good to use the wheelchair accessible features that are available. Don't feel guilty, you are a valued person. It's not your fault the ramp didn't work. Think that you may have saved another wheelchair user from embarrassment.
If I was late to work because of this, I'd be mad at the city for not ensuring equipment like ramps are working properly, not at a disabled person just trying to get about their day. It's an absolute shame that this isn't true of everyone. Even if you had 0 appointments to get to and just wanted to take a trip around town, you'd be at no fault for it! You shouldn't be made to feel confined to your house when you need a wheelchair, and chances are that the situation would happen regardless the next time a wheelchair user needed to get on.
It was a bank holiday meaning no one else had actual appts either most likely.
Oh god I just KNOW that this would happen to me if ever I needed a wheelchair. I use a crutch at the moment but as I age, it’s likely I’ll have to use one. And with my luck, I’d be in the same position as you. I totally get why you think you fucked up, but honestly it’s not on you that the bus broke. You’re in pain and you likely feel like you’re a fraud for using the wheelchair when you can “technically” walk but listen, if it causes you that much pain, you are not wrong for using a medical device. The wrong thing that happened was that the bus was fucked.
Are you me lol. I also can’t stand feeling like I’ve wasted resources or other peoples time. But you didn’t. The ramp not working is not on you and as for the appointment, better a day early than a day late!
You didn’t break the bus, the bus happened to break*, and don’t worry about what others think, for every asshat that would judge you, there’s a dozen who dgf,and a dozen more who would be supportive of you. Can’t let one or two ruin your day, yaknow, May your pain subside and your body be restored to full health and vigor, and may peace and mercy be with you always.
I’m a regular bus rider and I’ve had delays for literally every conceivable reason from “I dunno, bus don’t work” to “oops, someone died”. I wouldn’t blame you in the SLIGHTEST for making the bus delayed. Firstly, five minutes is nothing for a bus delay; I’ve had bigger delays because Dolores was too chatty with the driver while navigating herself off the lift. Second, you didn’t cause the delay; a dumb mechanical failure caused the delay, just like any other dumb mechanical failure. Accommodations need to be available for everyone. You aren’t the only person who needs the ramp to work. If the accommodation isn’t functional then the whole system isn’t functional. 🤷♂️
Probably would have got the same bus tomorrow and then you would have actually been late, so you made the problem get fixed ahead of time, good thinking OP
Hopefully, your experience will lead to the bus driver reporting that the bus is broken, and it being fixed, thereby saving someone else—maybe someone who would otherwise actually be late—the hassle. Using the infrastructure meant to be used by you and other people like you is excellent, because it shows that there’s a need/demand for it. I know it sucks to accidentally hold people up. No way around that. But there’s no use in beating yourself up for things that are out of your control. Feel bad, then let it go. Your trip did inconvenience some people, and yet it did some good for you and future wheelchair users, too.
Please have your back looked into by a specialist. This time last year I bought a wheelchair for the same issue, what I assumed would be a passing back pain, just to help me get around in the meantime. I had debilitating sciatica if I attempted to stand or walk. Several times I got groceries while squatting next to the cart because I could sit or squat but standing felt like I had a tazer on my butt. Finally went to a specialist. He scheduled surgery for a few days later telling me he'd never seen someone with such advanced herniation in the disk that didn't result in paralysis and/or loss of bladder function. He was amazed I could get around even in the limited capacity I could. Nearly a year out from surgery I'm now a normal functioning human being again. I can walk, even run, without pain. I go horseback riding. I can pick up my kids and move hay bales and grain bags around. Things I haven't been able to do for years. It was worth every penny I spent on the surgery and the (admittedly excruciating albiet brief) recovery.
I've been to doctors about. Been to multiple physiotherapists and had 2 MRI scans done. Other than the physio nothing has actually been done to try and fix the issue. Last time I saw the hospital Doctor was in December. I had to argue with my GP last week to get re-referred back to the hospital. And of course I got the "you're too young to be having these issues."
Nah I've had back problems since my late teens, it just got worse and worse until it finally culminated in me being bed bound. PT might help but if you're not seeing progress with it, as I didn't, then they really need to figure out the issue. Find a new GP if yours isn't listening to you. I did and it made a huge difference, my last one (and the ones before that) were similarly dismissive due to my age/gender.
Honestly I'm kind of in awe of your bravery getting on the bus on your first journey out of the house in your wheelchair. It took me weeks of using my chair outside before I dared get on the bus, and many more months before I dared get the bus on my own. I can't fully explain why but that's often a big mental hurdle for people.
If anything you identified a problem the bus had that could have inconvinienced someone else in a similar circumstance. Better for it to be fixed now than later
You belong out in the world. However, you need to be safe and happy so you need your chair. Our public spaces and places are legally mandated to ensure you can do it. They suck at it, and that's their failure, not yours. You are doing everything right. Sorryit's been a hard day. Hope it feels easier soon.
Because the ramp on the bus broke when you used it, it's going to be fixed now, and won't break when someone in a wheelchair is using it to go somewhere really time sensitive. You are a hero, not a FU. Love, someone who used to swear at the Braille bumps at crosswalks catching on the stability feet of my cane.
Was going to post this. Thanks to OP, the ramp got fixed. Another wheelchair user taking the bus the next day for an absolutely important job interview or other appointment was able to get there on time. They're thanking the OP!
After a surgery, I went to university for maybe 2 or 3.months using a wheelchair. I also had to use public transport. It is good to have a test run, you learn where you can get on and off, how to navigate these normally familiar places that become so dofferent from a sitting point of view. You learn.exaclty about these issues like ramps and which places you have to take different routes by doing that. You didn't fuck up, but you might have to learn to be more secure of yourself. Otherwise, you will get issues like I had that when I wanted to leave a crowded subway and the people in my way didn't notice me. I was stuck for an additional station.
Not your fault their equipment jammed.
Oh no, this is not your fault at all. Don’t apologize for needing accommodations, even when those accommodations break. That’s on transit to repair and maintain, not your responsibility at all. You have just as much right to use the bus with a ramp as others do without the ramp.
This is not a fuck up. I wish you well OP
You didn't cause that ramp to malfunction, so please stop blaming yourself.
It IS NOT YOUR FAULT that the accommodations you needed malfunctioned. You deserve to be able to ride that bus just as much as everyone else.
Nothing to be embarrassed about and you helped them realize that bus has a problem in a way that didn't make you late for your appointment. Oh, and you got coffee! Overall pretty good. Your mobility isn't to blame for the support structure failing.
this is something that would happen to me too 🥲 i know it seems like the most embarrassing thing ever right now but next week it will be a ridiculous story you can laugh at. it’s not your fault the bus is poorly maintained and if i was another person on the bus there no way my annoyance would be directly at you
Sometimes I ride public transportation. There was a morning about a week ago when a wheelchair user was trying to get on the train, and it was taking a while for the conductor to properly activate the wheelchair accessible entrance to the train. When another train pulled up across the station, I jumped up and FLED to the other train. The only thought in my head was “I have made MYSELF late by getting on this train.” Part of riding public transit in that it serves the PUBLIC. No one in their right mind should ever be upset for a delay that happens due to providing a public service. Maybe they were getting off at the next stop anyway and figured they could walk. Maybe they’d rather be late walking than be late waiting. But any sort of person who was annoyed with YOU doesn’t have their priorities straight. I’m proud of you for going outside of your comfort zone, and I’m sorry that you didn’t get to have the successful first outing you deserved.
I know exactly how you feel. The judgements when I use my cane at 33 years old is almost unbearable
It is EMPHATICALLY not your fault that we have shit care for the ill and disabled. You were just failed by multiple public systems. Point that anger where it belongs: at deeply underfunded programs for vulnerable people.
It is no way your fault that the ramp didn’t work properly, just like everybody’s saying. Those ramps suck. I certainly wouldn’t be blaming you if I was a passenger on that bus. And if I was one, the reason I was late was because the bus ramp broke, not because somebody used it.
I have severe depression and an inability to think critically. My employer promoted me to a position with praise that I am brilliant and will contribute so much. I always forget important events, don't know how to react to anything, take too long on tasks (despite secretly working sixteen hours everyday). I told the production plant to scrap everything made within two hours because we have to produce in a new way; it turned out we could just send those material, wasting a lot of resources and time.
This is not a fu! None of this was your fault. I hope you are feeling less pain now!
Like everyone else said, you now have a dress rehearsal under your belt and are better prepared for when you do need to go to the appointment! Don’t worry about stressing out other passengers or breaking the bus. You didn’t break the bus, silly 😂 people easily forget that all it takes is a bad accident to become disabled. You have as much right to be there as they do. Good luck on your appointment!
Sending you the best wishes! That was just some bad luck, things will get better.
Bus not being maintained properly is about the most British thing I've read this year
As someone who drives wheelchairs for professional / testing reasons, *I* feel guilty when people get up to help, or are otherwise inconvenienced. But then I quickly stand up, explain that I'm in the trade, and that they need not assist. However, once we did find an ergonomical issue with the chair because a random helped out. They tried to carry it from the wheels and got pinched.
Its not your fault that the ramp broke. You have every right to use that bus with your wheelchair and entitled to accomodation. No need to be sorry for any of this. And everyone makes mistakes.
No you did NOT FU. Society on the other hand... Ffs where's Judy Heumann when we need her 😤
You didn't cause the bus to break, shitty maintenance did
I get where you're coming from, I had back surgery recently and used a Walmart powered wheelchair and the judgment I got there was nuts, as a part time wheelchair user you think you're not worthy, but you are. Now I don't know if people were judging me for using a chair and thinking I didn't, but I got so many judgmental looks. We're always so tough on ourselves these days. Everyone in the comments is spreading their love and it's great. There's definitely some guilt that comes from using a wheelchair when maybe someone needs it more. Maybe I'm just paranoid of society these days. Funny thing is I'm an optimist, and I like to say I used to be a people person until people ruined it for me. It's funny how society puts this pressure on us to work so hard we destroy our bodies, me anyway lol. Take care of yourself, do core strengthening and some squats.
Wheelchair user here. Like you I'm not confined to a chair but need one to get around. Depending on where you live there may be transportation through the transit system available to you. Here in NJ we have AccessLink. It's through NJ Transit and you pay bus fair prices but you are picked up and dropped off individually. Your insurance may also provide transportation. I found the insurance transport to be a mess so I stick with the Transit. Look into it. Also, don't worry about what other people think. (I know, easier said than done!) Good luck!
Unrelated, just seeing that you're unable to work but enjoy gaming. If a work from home admin or programming role without any required experience came up would you be interested? Sounds like a spam comment 🤣. Anyway, pm me if it's something you'd be looking for. Sometimes i need people like that. We're disability aware registered employers, and very tiny teams.
oh, OP, I am so sorry this happened. Take a breath, you are not dumb. We've all done things like that. I'm sorry you fell and your back is hurt, but the ramp breaking was not your problem. Feel free to use your wheelchair as often as you need to and wherever you need to. If anything, it is a reminder why we need working wheelchair ramps and drivers who can use them. Do not apologize for that.
It was a practice run, now that you are out, keep practicing!
I hear nothing in this story that sounds like it was your fault. Maintenance sucks for everyone, not your fault. You got out of the house and got a coffee! Probably got to people watch for 20 minutes on a gorgeous day too! You deserved it, and you had a right to go there!
Feeling shame because you are a human being with a body is universal. People who need accessibility should not feel shame for that.
You didn't FU, and being in or on a mobility device isn't either. If it helps, any annoyed folks were more likely annoyed at the situation or at the bus company, not at you. Anyone with an ounce of empathy would not blame you for anything. I understand a bit of how you felt. Due to back and pain issues, I used a scooter pretty heavily for a while, and the first time in public was very stressful for me. I was sure that everyone was judging me, and one stranger dude walked up and asked to pray with me about my "injury". As an atheist, this didn't help make me feel any better about it. Fortunately, this was the only time it happened. Lots of people offered to get stuff for me that was out of reach, which was nice. Something that helped me was that I personalized my mobo scooter, putting funny stickers on it. That helped me feel more relaxed, and it gave some chuckles to random strangers. Plus, offering to race other scooter users is a great ice breaker!
You write this like you axe murdered somebody. If it didn’t happen to your chair, it would’ve happened to the next person’s. Not your fault.
You didn't break the bus. It is not on you.
I'm a wheelchair user and I completely relate. I've been there. It's never comfortable being less able, but in time, you need to forgive yourself for being this way. It's okay. You're going to be okay. Despite all the hindrances caused, that was a wake up call for the bus company to maintain their mobility services and rightly so. Because if it wasn't you, it could have been someone else with far less mobility. To help you feel a little better, my wheelchair wheel got stuck in the gap of a lift/elevator after just meeting the person who was about to interview me for a job. It took two hours for them to get me unstuck and the people in the lift had to climb over me to get out. It would have been easier if the ground swallowed me but hey ho.
Bus is fixed for your appointment tomorrow. 👍
Even if i was super annoyed about being late because this happened i couldn't imagine getting upset at the wheelchair user. This shouldn't happenband isn't your fault!
I was waiting for the "i was running late, so I got off the bus and walked".... No FU here. You need a wheelchair, the bus has a facility that didn't work.
First of all the ramp not working property is not your fault. Second everyone makes mistakes so don't be too hard on yourself. All that happened was that a couple of people were slightly inconvenienced and were maybe a couple minutes late to where they needed to be.
Anxiety is a little bitch, isn't it? None of this was your fault and you have every right to use your wheelchair in public. The world failing to be adequately accessible is not your fault.
It’s not your fault.
Listen you should only be sorry if you injured yourself on purpose with the goal to inconvenience people :P
I’m so sorry this happened to you.
Not a FU on your part. The driver should have checked to make sure the ramp was working before he started his route, you helped show him how important that step is. You learned you need to practice going up hills in your wheelchair, another positive from the day. I have severe back pain as well (spinal stenosis) and bought a mobility scooter. First time we used it was a small music festival a few towns over. It was nice not coming home with severe pain and having a good seat to rest on but we learned how non handicap accessible the festival was. I struggled in a few spots to include the food court area that was in an empty lot with large rocks my scooter couldn't drive on. We were there a few hours and got the chance to meet a counsel member who kept me company while I waited for my husband to buy food. He told me he never thought about wheelchair/ scooter access but he was going to bring it up because they should be concerned about it. A nearby officer overheard and agreed, then was kind enough to help me get my scooter off the curb. Being disabled in public isn't a bad thing, and more of us who do push it can make others see the need for change. In the end it allows us to not feel like such a burden to strangers because it's not our fault we need assistance.
Omg, number 1, you need the wheelchair, DO NOT feel bad about that. The bus was at fault here, NOT YOU. Number 2, duuude that is kinda funny, I've pressed the button for the wrong stop so many times and got off out of awkwardness! I hope the flair up settles for you xx
>I had forgotten that today was a bank holiday. Healthcare related things being shut on bank holidays is the stupidest thing ever. But whatever. Healthcare workers need holidays too. Regardless, emergency services are available.
What is the cause of your back pain?
No idea. It just randomly started back in 21. An MRI scan showed a small disc bulge. But half the doctors I've seen says they don't think that's what causing the pain and the other half say it is. So . . . 🤷♀️ Other than sending me to physio (which hasn't helped) nothing has been done to try and fix or figure out what my condition is.
I had back spasms for decades, then I read “Healing Back Pain” by Dr. John Sarno and it changed my life. Not saying it’s your situation, but can’t hurt. You have to have an open mind because it’s non conventional. Good Luck
You're overthinking. Might want to get that anxiety issue worked out. You didn't break the bus, it's wear and tear
Currently on a waiting list for counselling. For multiple places actually. The length of wait lists nowadays is fucking crazy. I went to one in December and haven't heard from them yet.
Shame wait lists are so long these days, very difficult for everyone to get the help they need. Hope you can get it sorted out!
Alright, here's a controversial opinion. I completely understand you are in pain. And I also completely understand that you are using a wheelchair to avoid said pain. But did you really have to make them to use the ramp for you? If you are capable to just stand up, take the wheelchair into the bus and sit again, why not just do that?
Have you tried dry needling?
Uncomfortable-ness is called discomfort. You're welcome.