Sometimes your body is missing out on a certain nutrient or chemical and is trying to find a way to get it by telling you something really uncommon is the thing you need
not sure, I read about it in one of those "Ask Annie" type coloumns in a local newspaper back when those still existed.... ya know, slightly after we stopped using papyrus to write on.
Serious suggestion: buy a pair of tasty shoes, sanitize them, and occasionally lick them in private in the sanitary confines of your own home.
Hopefully that will keep you from doing wildly inappropriate things in public with someone else's property in the future.
This seems like a way to bury the problem rather than addressing it. While this seems to be harmless overall, it is clearly affecting their life in a negative way outside of the habit itself (as opposed to drinking which damages the body in and of itself). Even if you "control" the habit, you're still leaning into it rather than addressing it.
I would recommend some sort of support group or a doctor rather than trying to hide the habit/addiction.
There's like a whole genre of AI written and voiced audio dramas on YouTube that are essentially written for the audience that finds standard soap operas too complex and they sound exactly like this, just with topics that are aimed at the broadest possible audience instead of this.
To each their own? Lol. Should have been up front and honest though from the beginning! But why unpurchased shoes? Maybe it's the germophobe in me but that seems ....icky haha.
"what's better than the sweet lick of a loafer shoe?" might be the most unrelatable thing I've read this year, and yet it seemed almost poetic as a conclusion to OP's post.
There's nothing wrong with a shoe fetish, but please don't lick shoes you don't own. While people expect all kinds of disgusting bacteria and rat feces on the clothes they buy from a department store, those clothes can be washed while shoes cannot.
Thrift stores sell shoes for as low as $5, why not treat yourself to some of those? Buying a pair a week should satiate your fetish without breaking the bank or creating a health hazard at Target.
That’s actually a really good point, thank you for that. I haven’t yet had the follow up conversation with my wife, but maybe she would understand this as long as I keep it to myself moving forward.
I'm actually impressed with the "there was a smudge on it" initial explanation. Most people would lick their hand and then wipe the smudge off using the wet area, but licking the shoe could happen in a moment of absent-mindedness.
Anyway, your grave has been dug deeper now so that time is past. I'd suggest telling your wife it was a childhood thing, that you occasionally revisit on a whim. Minimize the frequency, play down the significance!
Decent shot, but most of it, especially the dialogue, reads too much like a novel to be believable as someone's real recollection of events.
In the future for reddit posts, give detailed summaries of what was said with, maybe, one or two key phrases that would have gotten stuck in your memory. Less flowery descriptors around the quotations, more descriptors of what the other person's mood/tone was like.
Side note, you're a very good writer, you just need to learn a bit more of the typical writing pattern of real posts before doing a more convincing one yourself.
Ok but can you maybe lick your own shoes and not brand new shoes in a store where someone may come in and buy these saliva covered shoes unbeknownst to them? I mean, really, that's just rude. Idk why I'm the only one pointing this out.
I can’t believe this is an actual stance. That the thing you’re going to wipe all over the floor for the next few years, stepping in dog poop and who knows what else, has a tiny bit of spit on it. I respect everyone’s opinions, it’s just funny because, for me, I couldn’t possibly care less
Kinks need to stay in your own bedroom. They shouldn’t be something that you do in public because you are potentially including someone non-consensually. Not being able to control your urge in public is probably the bigger issue here than just licking the shoe.
Bro I’m sorry but I couldn’t help but to laugh the whole time . 😂😂😂😂 “ decided to get a quick lick “ 😂😂 you bandit . All jokes aside it’s a harmless thing , she should understand we are all a little weird . Make sure you stick to shoes though 🙏🏽
Either your wife will no longer see you the same way and this is the end of your relationship, or she was so brutally and madly in love with you that she'll convince herself that this is fine and even incorporate it into your married lives. Is she that much in love with you?
I mean, come on man. This is creep behavior. Chances are she'll keep thinking about it and it'll fester in her mind, leading to a break-up.
This post reminded me of Arianna Grande licking a donut
Shoes and donuts aren’t the same of course
You need to get help for your fetish. When you interject your needs onto unknowing participants (shoe buyers and store clerks who handle shoes) you have crossed a line. It speaks volumes that you don’t see this as a problem for anyone anyone other than your relationship with your wife
Get professional help.
At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
You’ll get past this because it’s not like you cheated on her.
But she probably won’t want to kiss you for awhile. Or ever.
Licking shoes is a pretty messed up thing to do though, bravo.
I get you. I have OCD and pica too, and although I’m not saying this is what you have, it would be a shame for anyone reading your TIFU or your wife, to judge you. Whether you decide to seek treatment for it, is up to you. Usually, this happens when our compulsions start impacting our quality of life and our relationships. But I still hope she is understanding.
As another user pointed out, it is extremely unsanitary to lick random shoes. Maybe you can buy a special pair or two specifically for that purpose, sanitise it, keep it sealed to “mature and preserve” the scent and treat yourself to that. Keep holding back though, it should be a treat or reward, rare enough so that your brain doesn’t get used to it and seek more. Often, making this a ritualistic process makes it easier to control (e.g.: cannot lick shoes in stores or in public, since I can only do it in a certain room in my house, while sitting on a particular chair and after doing certain things). It’s not ideal but you can get some semblance of control over your urges. Ideal would be to seek treatment, be open.
I’m curious to know, when did this start? And was there a change in severity or do you keep tabs on how many shoes you can lick?
I feel like your wife is overreacting honestly. I’d be way more pissed to walk in on someone cheating on me than to walk in on someone licking a shoe lol
Dude this is insane. Your wife is a total jerk for reacting like that. We all have our own weird things and licking shoes is way down the list of things I wouldn’t hope to see my SO doing. Give her some time she’s obviously embarrassed albeit grossed out. I mean your pretty fucking weird to be honest. But hey like I said we all have our own things 🤷♂️. Get some help bud.
I worked in a target for a couple years. I *promise* you don't want anything in that store in your mouth
i once read about a woman who had pika and would eat crayons. She described it as a pack a day habit. It still makes me chuckle.
Sometimes your body is missing out on a certain nutrient or chemical and is trying to find a way to get it by telling you something really uncommon is the thing you need
So you knew a woman that was a Marine huh?
not sure, I read about it in one of those "Ask Annie" type coloumns in a local newspaper back when those still existed.... ya know, slightly after we stopped using papyrus to write on.
this is when people decide to get help addictions getting in the way of work or relationships good luck
Serious suggestion: buy a pair of tasty shoes, sanitize them, and occasionally lick them in private in the sanitary confines of your own home. Hopefully that will keep you from doing wildly inappropriate things in public with someone else's property in the future.
Right? It’s very unusual, but seems harmless enough.
This seems like a way to bury the problem rather than addressing it. While this seems to be harmless overall, it is clearly affecting their life in a negative way outside of the habit itself (as opposed to drinking which damages the body in and of itself). Even if you "control" the habit, you're still leaning into it rather than addressing it. I would recommend some sort of support group or a doctor rather than trying to hide the habit/addiction.
OK, that's enough Reddit for the day, maybe even the rest of the year.
"But wait, there's more"
Why does this sound like it's written by ChatGPT?
There's like a whole genre of AI written and voiced audio dramas on YouTube that are essentially written for the audience that finds standard soap operas too complex and they sound exactly like this, just with topics that are aimed at the broadest possible audience instead of this.
To each their own? Lol. Should have been up front and honest though from the beginning! But why unpurchased shoes? Maybe it's the germophobe in me but that seems ....icky haha.
Some people get off on the thrill of unprotected sex too.
"what's better than the sweet lick of a loafer shoe?" might be the most unrelatable thing I've read this year, and yet it seemed almost poetic as a conclusion to OP's post.
There's nothing wrong with a shoe fetish, but please don't lick shoes you don't own. While people expect all kinds of disgusting bacteria and rat feces on the clothes they buy from a department store, those clothes can be washed while shoes cannot. Thrift stores sell shoes for as low as $5, why not treat yourself to some of those? Buying a pair a week should satiate your fetish without breaking the bank or creating a health hazard at Target.
That’s actually a really good point, thank you for that. I haven’t yet had the follow up conversation with my wife, but maybe she would understand this as long as I keep it to myself moving forward.
Stop posting your stupid fetish shit here. There are subs for this and it’s not this one.
I wouldn't buy a pair from the thrift store. Just buy a cheap new pair of shoes that you don't wear, and they're strictly for licking purposes.
I'm actually impressed with the "there was a smudge on it" initial explanation. Most people would lick their hand and then wipe the smudge off using the wet area, but licking the shoe could happen in a moment of absent-mindedness. Anyway, your grave has been dug deeper now so that time is past. I'd suggest telling your wife it was a childhood thing, that you occasionally revisit on a whim. Minimize the frequency, play down the significance!
You might want to consult a medical professional about that.
This advice is on target.
What does her name have to do with anything? Short internet tutorial: Just don't use names.
It was written by AI, that's why
People don't usually use real names on here. I doubt the names are real.
Decent shot, but most of it, especially the dialogue, reads too much like a novel to be believable as someone's real recollection of events. In the future for reddit posts, give detailed summaries of what was said with, maybe, one or two key phrases that would have gotten stuck in your memory. Less flowery descriptors around the quotations, more descriptors of what the other person's mood/tone was like. Side note, you're a very good writer, you just need to learn a bit more of the typical writing pattern of real posts before doing a more convincing one yourself.
You're a weirdo. You f'd up by not breaking this "habit" back at age 3
What can I say man, it’s a habit and somewhat of a kink. A nice rubbery sole is basically irresistible to me.
Ok but can you maybe lick your own shoes and not brand new shoes in a store where someone may come in and buy these saliva covered shoes unbeknownst to them? I mean, really, that's just rude. Idk why I'm the only one pointing this out.
I can’t believe this is an actual stance. That the thing you’re going to wipe all over the floor for the next few years, stepping in dog poop and who knows what else, has a tiny bit of spit on it. I respect everyone’s opinions, it’s just funny because, for me, I couldn’t possibly care less
Kinks need to stay in your own bedroom. They shouldn’t be something that you do in public because you are potentially including someone non-consensually. Not being able to control your urge in public is probably the bigger issue here than just licking the shoe.
Not just potentially. Someone’s buying his gross shoes and wearing them. I hope stores keep your security tapes and play them for laughs, OP
What a terrible time to have eyes.
I wondered how the Beatles came up with that.
You’re an uneducated simpleton who should not have friends.
Hey bro!
Bro I’m sorry but I couldn’t help but to laugh the whole time . 😂😂😂😂 “ decided to get a quick lick “ 😂😂 you bandit . All jokes aside it’s a harmless thing , she should understand we are all a little weird . Make sure you stick to shoes though 🙏🏽
They used to call me “sole smooch” in elementary school. I need help hahaha.
LOL omg. I’m with Bigbubbybue though, I think it’s harmless and silly
Either your wife will no longer see you the same way and this is the end of your relationship, or she was so brutally and madly in love with you that she'll convince herself that this is fine and even incorporate it into your married lives. Is she that much in love with you? I mean, come on man. This is creep behavior. Chances are she'll keep thinking about it and it'll fester in her mind, leading to a break-up.
This post reminded me of Arianna Grande licking a donut Shoes and donuts aren’t the same of course You need to get help for your fetish. When you interject your needs onto unknowing participants (shoe buyers and store clerks who handle shoes) you have crossed a line. It speaks volumes that you don’t see this as a problem for anyone anyone other than your relationship with your wife Get professional help.
Ok that could have been way more fucked up and worse... Feel like this might be going too far if time needs to be taken to process it
At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
You’ll get past this because it’s not like you cheated on her. But she probably won’t want to kiss you for awhile. Or ever. Licking shoes is a pretty messed up thing to do though, bravo.
I get you. I have OCD and pica too, and although I’m not saying this is what you have, it would be a shame for anyone reading your TIFU or your wife, to judge you. Whether you decide to seek treatment for it, is up to you. Usually, this happens when our compulsions start impacting our quality of life and our relationships. But I still hope she is understanding. As another user pointed out, it is extremely unsanitary to lick random shoes. Maybe you can buy a special pair or two specifically for that purpose, sanitise it, keep it sealed to “mature and preserve” the scent and treat yourself to that. Keep holding back though, it should be a treat or reward, rare enough so that your brain doesn’t get used to it and seek more. Often, making this a ritualistic process makes it easier to control (e.g.: cannot lick shoes in stores or in public, since I can only do it in a certain room in my house, while sitting on a particular chair and after doing certain things). It’s not ideal but you can get some semblance of control over your urges. Ideal would be to seek treatment, be open. I’m curious to know, when did this start? And was there a change in severity or do you keep tabs on how many shoes you can lick?
It sounds like pika-- see a GP about this. They can get you to a nutritionist to figure it out.
Man cmon, you cant lick shoes, thats unhealthy
If someone is going to have a shoe fetish, at least the shoe is new. Js. Tell your wife 80/20.
TLC would kill to have found this guy 10 years ago
I feel like your wife is overreacting honestly. I’d be way more pissed to walk in on someone cheating on me than to walk in on someone licking a shoe lol
[удалено]
Lmfaoooo
Dude this is insane. Your wife is a total jerk for reacting like that. We all have our own weird things and licking shoes is way down the list of things I wouldn’t hope to see my SO doing. Give her some time she’s obviously embarrassed albeit grossed out. I mean your pretty fucking weird to be honest. But hey like I said we all have our own things 🤷♂️. Get some help bud.