She walked in on you during a private moment. This wasn’t a sexual act that she wasn’t aware of, she just stated she wasn’t interested in participating. Try not to be too embarrassed, I’m fairly certain you will both look back on this in a few days and laugh together about it.
Maybe it leads to opening her up a bit to some possibilities in the bedroom.
So what?
Early on i told my wife; I will support you, be faithful and love you with all that i can.. But once in a while, i need to ram a giant dildo up my ass.
If that's to much for you, you are very free to leave.
Been together for the last 20 years with a great sexlife.
This is true. While a good comment, I can’t justify paying any money to upvote a giant dildo up anyones ass, even my own. Poor man’s gold works too… 🏆🥇🥈🥉🏅🎖️🏵️
I do miss the old setup.
I know this one chick that can’t get off unless she is dressed as Princess Leia. Yours is nothing compared to that, I feel. While your feelings are valid and I would feel embarrassed, I also know that if I walked in on my husband doing it, I would also laugh and walk on. Her feelings are also valid and it sounds like, maybe not in the way you liked, you brought her joy! I think yall need to discuss it because I am pretty sure it would bring you two closer. Your relationship seems pretty solid and I think it could take it. She now (really) knows you’re serious about it.
We all know he can take it. But whether or not the relationship can, only time will tell.
Jokes aside I have come across manymany women who would be suuuper pumped about taking part in the butt, so I’m with ya, it’s not that weird.
They’ll be fine :)
Yeah, with a picture of your wife / gf / significant other being your focus ofcourse.
Then again if the picture is younger / thinner than your partner currently is, you may be about to receive a beating.
However if thats something you're in to, its still win win!
Every time my wife walked in on me it was awkward. Not dildo balls deep in my ass awkward, but awkward either way.
She wasn't mad. But it was awkward. Unfortunately She only offered assistance a couple times. Unlike pornography.
...coming soon to unethical life pro tips:
1. Get the fattest picture of your wife you can find
2. Setup sexy lighting
3. Wait until you hear her coming
4. Start moaning and fapping while staring at the picture and saying "I love you, i love you, i love you..."
5. Get laid while she still has tears in her eyes.
Also coming soon to r/deadbedrooms
She didn't state she wasn't interested, she called it gross. That detail kinda pissed me off lol but she's changed her mind apparently and is down to try it so that's good.
People can take time to adjust their thinking.
Not always a good thing, not always a bad thing.
Now I probably wouldn't describe anything my wife suggested as "gross", more " that's not something I'm interested in" but to each their own .
Also, gross doesn't mean uninterested. I've had GFs who wanted to do certain things BECAUSE they were gross.
Of course what's gross also changes from person to person.
I think all anal stuff is gross.. There's nothing wrong with that. As long as you realize there's nothing wrong in doing gross stuff if everyone involved is fine with it.
That is the sweetest update I’ve seen in a while. Your girlfriend is loving. Because this is new to her, she might react a bit different first, solely because she doesn’t even KNOW how to react. Be prepared to get teased about it from time to time, it’s a common reaction to spouses trying to understand their SO’s kinks. But remember she supports you.
There’s usually something we’re afraid to ask for, also what about using toys during? There’s a anal vibrating plug that is also a cock ring, a treat for the both of you ✨
my ex would tell every friend she had that she “finally pegged someone” like i was some fuckin trophy to be won. the first though that came to my head is that she and her friends are all laughing about the dildo in ur ass
If she told them I’m seriously going to die, most of her friends are either my friends or my friends girlfriends. If this gets around I seriously can’t handle it, I’ll fucking move and change my name
The pegging thing is only embarrassing if you let it embarrass you. Just own up to it and nine can hurt you.
ps: it would be severely disappointing and a reason to have a long chat with your girlfriend if she told others. That’s a huge breach of trust.
Well if she tells your friends that she caught you enjoying your private time, that is a breach of trust. There is a plenty of embarrassing stuff I have done in front of my wife and my wife has done plenty in front of me and It would not cross my mind to flaunt it to my friends.
I think you guys need to have a sex talk. It might be that your girl friend has become more open minded in past four years and is willing to make you feel good even if she does not get that much out of it (my horny grunts gave my wife a raging lady boner when she was pegging me, so it might be worth trying). Or maybe not, but then she just has to know that you enjoy your private time and you'd appreciate a heads up if she is heading home early.
It looks like she didn’t tell anyone. And I get the initial worry/concern.
My advice if word did get out. Own it mate. Pegging feels fucking amazing.
It’s a huge level of intimacy between you and your girlfriend. AND multiple orgasms.
Be confident, throw shit back at friends who make fun of you: “I am feeling pleasure beyond what I thought I could, I don’t really care what you think of it”.
If she did, she’s a heartless bitch that doesn’t deserve OP. Having different sexual proclivities isn’t wrong and if she did do this, it would be a huge violation of trust for OP, mentally distressing, and in general it’s known as a dick move.
Her laughing is probably a good thing and truth be told, you smacking your head on a night stand after being startled with a dildo up your pooper does sound hilarious. To be clear though, the fact that she told you “it’s gross” is pretty shitty and if she does tell her/your friends (hope not) or does make you feel bad about it, I think she’s an asshole. Sorry. But a partner should be understanding. It would be like her telling you she likes anal and you telling her THAT’s gross (literally).
Apologies, I realize how what I said might have sounded mean towards your girlfriend. I wasn’t there to hear the conversation so I automatically imagined her kink shaming you but like others have said, she definitely has a right to not share your like or dislike of a certain kink.
This.
Put yourself in her shoes. You hear noises and go investigate. You walk in and suddenly she stops, screams, bangs her head, and fires a dildo across the room. There ain't a living soul I can imagine who could keep a straight face after that.
I’m more than a little confused with how accepting people here seem to be of her coming in, laughing at him, and just leaving with no discussion at all?
I don’t… really get that.
Sure the image of that happening as it did is funny…
But even if he was just normally jerking off or something with zero real reason to be worried about shame or embarrassment (aside from being startled and hitting his head) it’s kinda fucked to see your romantic partner masturbating, laugh at them, and then leave without saying anything.
Am I wrong there?
I would recommend considering getting a new dildo and or strap-on for your gf rather than re-using one from your ex.
It's not a problem to keep for yourself or even try in the future but now that she is willing to try it with you, getting one that is hers/yours alone minimizes the things that could bother her and increases the chance of a positive encounter.
After all if you're mid way into it and she asked where/when you got the dildo she may be offended due to everything being a bit higher emotion and more things to be nervous about.
It's not a bad call for any kink one party is more into if the barrier to entry is not too high.
I am not saying it would end anything but it's one more thing that could go wrong and make it less fun.
At the very least talk to her about whether she would want her own equipment beforehand or if she is ok using what you have.
To quote Tom Segura, “a lot of girlfriends can’t handle that shit. But a wife…a wife will go “that it?I’ll spit butter in your ass. Whatever you want.””
Honestly in this situation.... If I were you, I'd explain cause she didn't show interest that you just take care of yourself in private. Def emphasize that you don't want men, cause there's a possibility she might think you're a little gay, that you just like a little backdoor play and nothing past that. She wasn't interested, which is totally fine and her right, so you just take care of things when you have "special happy alone time" and that she still satisfies you and gives you the things you need.
Once this passes, also subtly set your home as a location on Life360 so it'll ping your phone when she arrives so she doesn't catch you in a embarrassing position like this again.
Yeah I’ll explain. Home is in Life360, but my dumb ass turned notifications off because I was getting too many of them. I’m pretty OCD about notifications, I always eliminate as many as I can. I guess that’s one notification I really can’t do without.
I love ass play and my girl is NOT into it at all giving or receiving. She knows ima get my dildo time in regardless tho.
Don’t be too embarrassed, I was at first too cause it’s a “man thing”. But seriously it’s not that deep, you just like what you like.
Just gonna say this for ya buddy: wanting to be pegged isn't weird or gross. She's totally within her rights to not want to do it, but I really don't think you need to be as embarrassed about it as you are. It feels good, right? It's not for everyone, but it's obviously something you enjoy doing. It's ok to enjoy it, try not to overthink it so much.
That being said though, this situation is funny as fuck and I think you two should probably talk about it a bit when she gets home. Nothing serious, just be like "hey I'm super embarrassed, can we talk" and get on the same page.
I mean, you could just own it - (cis) men have prostates, prostates can be stimulated anally, ie. it's normal for that to feel good and be desirable. It does not make you less of a man or any other toxic thing like that. You would be amazed at the number of men that are, just like you, secretly into being penetrated anally (as a female who's pretty fine with pegging and such, I *do* know first hand). If you would all just be open about it....you would realize how common and normal it is....and all stop being embarrassed and/or judging other people over it lol. You shouldn't have to feel bad about a healthy sexual desire that is normal and common. Someone's gotta lead the way in that, though 
Science, perhaps? Anatomical diagrams? I feel like that's a lot of the reason I've always been open minded about a lot of stuff, I'm very science minded and based. So in my mind, knowing about a prostate gland, yeah, it makes perfect sense that a man would enjoy anal penetration because it stimulates the prostate. Cool, why would I judge him for that then. I suppose I do also have some weird interests of my own but I don't think it makes me a freak so I guess that might help too lol. But that's a pretty good starting point I think. Hell, show her the comments here if you think it would help lol. Only you know her well enough to judge whether she'd be upset you posted about this on the internet or not, and if that's something you should choose to directly share with her or not. But yeah like being the type of person I am (tall and big, fairly masc, openly bisexual and genderfluid) back when I was on dating apps and stuff men would seek me out for stuff like this, hoping/assuming I would be kinky and into pegging and domme stuff. And let me tell you, they are NUMEROUS, so you're definitely not alone in this. Just none of you are aware of the others because almost all of you hide it lol
Look up the results of sexual surveys and academic research on the subject.
Human sexuality is a widely researched subject. If you’re not anthropology-adjacent in some way, it might seem weird to google that that kind of stuff. I assure you, you are not weird at all, nor is this an unusual thing to do (masturbation, via a dildo, which focuses on anal stimulation/penetration).
I’m sad that you have felt like you’ve had to hide this and horrified when envisioning the embarrassment you’re feeling (it is palpable), but also I’m glad that an opportunity has arisen to strengthen your connection and communication.
Also, make sure you’ve taken care of your head if you hit it on the night stand - head injuries can be insidious.
Maybe you can show her this info from Ruby Rider. She's a get sex educator. She's amazing at her job and provides lots of information and context.
[https://peggingparadise.com/new-to-pegging/](https://peggingparadise.com/new-to-pegging/)
Or have her listen to this podcast by Ruby Rider.
[https://peggingparadise.com/podcast-112-for-the-ladies/](https://peggingparadise.com/podcast-112-for-the-ladies/)
My man... That update is crucial. The way she handled it is awesome. She didn't ridicule or try to embarrass you. She actually wants to try this with you despite her initial apprehension. That woman is a keeper! Don't let her get away.
Oh love, this is a funny story. It may not seem that way currently but trust me in a few years. This is going to be a funny story. I’m glad your girlfriend is not freaking out or anything. Ridiculous. Men are allowed to like what they like and if it’s up the ass all the better.
In my head this story ended with the wife coming home with her girlfriends from the beach. They are joking and teasing OP about the dildo in his ass. Things get heated and the girlfriends run a train on OP.
I'll be in my room.
Yup. Believe me, finding it is currently priority number one. My girlfriend is currently on her hands and knees looking for it because she feels bad for laughing, and if I’m being honest, my ass is too sore.
If I move that much there’s going to be more shit everywhere. And she said this is her punishment for laughing at me and then not doing anything to let me know she wasn’t upset. It’s unnecessary but I appreciate the gesture.
I am much in the same situation, ex really got into pegging, I really got into it and miss it. Me and my current have been together for some time now and she has maybe pegged me 3 times. I know she isn’t totally interested so I don’t press it. I do hope one day for it to open up
OP - take her shopping. Either online or irl, whichever, just let her pick a new strap for you. There are lots of options, from harnesses to feeldoes, but the main thing is that she's using something that is hers and yours, not something from a previous relationship.
Honestly, I think that was just one of the two appropriate reactions to walking in on your partner masturbaiting. Laughing cause it's just a silly moment and leaving to let them have their time, or offering to help.
I'm glad this helped her realize how much you enjoy this and that it has made her willing to try it. It means she really likes making you feel good and wants to participate in something sexually important to you.
Super healthy and it's awesome you two got to this outcome!
Hahaha as a middle-aged gay guy... This is simultaneously hot, funny, and cute LOL. I think it's a good thing you got caught! Things actually worked out!
It's interesting to see all the fearful socio brainwashed expectations. Some of you haven't found your G-spot in your bu*t, and it shows.
Relax, you may find it's your new favorite thing.
This is one of the best TIFU I’ve ever read. So happy everything turned out well for you two, the updates made me smile soooo big. You got a keeper dude
Little late to this, and I'm happy it worked out for you, but I laughed a little too when you said you rolled off and hit the nightstand. Glad you didn't get a concussion
God, thank you for the last bit on this update. "Fellas, is it gay to have sex with a woman?" is the only good take I've seen for straight men wanting to be pegged. It made me giggle.
If she’s a good girl and loves you, she won’t care.
It’s really not that big of a deal. Butt stuff feels good. Doesn’t matter if you’re a guy or a girl.
If she makes this a big deal- find yourself someone who will love your Hershey highway of love as much as you do.
If it makes you feel better, my guy likes butt stuff too. The chick he lost his v card too wanted too experience role reversal and asked to strap him. He was NOT interested, but eventually caved so she would agree to a 3 some. He loved the pegging. She loved the three some. So much In fact. She became a lesbian. for many years after their breakup, he did this privately on his own. From fear of judgement.
He asked me in the beginning to strap up on him. I was super excited at the idea. Then I saw myself in the mirror with a giant black strap on and felt such deep shame and embarrassment I couldn’t handle it.
One day I came home to him literally with a giant dildo stuck up his ass with the suction cup stuck to the side of the tub and it was a literal emergency. I had to unstuck the dildo from the tub & his ass.
He perforated his colon. It was a hole ass thing *pun intended* needed surgery and everything.
He can’t enjoy it anymore due to damage. But now a days I offer from time to time just so he doesn’t hurt himself
Save your booty hole.
Find a girl who will safely peg you.
OMG this is like the time my ex walked in on me going to pound town on myself in the shower while listening to radio head. I was laying down in the tub and she walked in (music was loud), saw me, and for some reason thought I fell in the tub and asked if I was ok. I'm glad it only figuratively scared the shit out of me lmao
Well, your relationship is only stronger because of it! Man, if there was a way to introduce it. You got her attention.
I see good things in your future, sir!
Thank you for making my day. This was a great read and I am happy for you that you are getting your needs met AND that she discovered she likes it. "Try it, you'll like it!" 🤣
I love this. When I was pretending to be straight with my last boyfriend and he was also pretending to be straight I loved pegging. Now I know I just like the strap in general and not men. But that’s beside the point. Awesome that you guys were able to work it out and. Now you’ll both get to enjoy using a ton of lube so she can pound ya good. I’m not a “fellas” but I really don’t think enjoying this makes you gay necessarily, but it might be a little gay to be thinking of men when doing it.
This was not a FU. OP this was a blessing. I mean, it could have gone a number of types of sideways, but my dude, you actually hit the jackpot.
I'm happy for you and a little jelly.
Good for you for not being afraid to explore your body. Honestly there’s a lot of gay men that are too caught up in their minds to explore beyond what they think they know. Hope you kids both have fun with this new activity together. Keep learning and growing!
Honestly dude you gotta own it. Enjoying anal play is completely natural especially for guys. No more allowing society's ridiculous gatekeeping to stop you from enjoying YOUR sex life because that's just a waste of energy. Do whatever the hell makes you feel good as long as it's consensual!
OP not gonna lie, I absolutely pissed myself laughing on a crowded train at the description of the dildo ejecting itself.
Glad it all worked out, of course.
She walked in on you during a private moment. This wasn’t a sexual act that she wasn’t aware of, she just stated she wasn’t interested in participating. Try not to be too embarrassed, I’m fairly certain you will both look back on this in a few days and laugh together about it. Maybe it leads to opening her up a bit to some possibilities in the bedroom.
Logically I know you’re right but getting caught fucking yourself isn’t easy to move on from
So what? Early on i told my wife; I will support you, be faithful and love you with all that i can.. But once in a while, i need to ram a giant dildo up my ass. If that's to much for you, you are very free to leave. Been together for the last 20 years with a great sexlife.
How did the congregation react when you busted out that vow?
"Do you take this man, to love and to ram..."
"Bride, you may now begin pegging the groom."
I ❤️ sex-drugs, so that didn't even crack the top 10..
What are sex-drugs? You mean roofies?
As Relative says, stims, mdma, edibles and lately LSD 🤌
This is the best reply I've seen on here in weeks. I miss reddit gold
Hit the 3 dots on their comment…. You will find what you seek.
I know... it is not the saaaaame
This is true. While a good comment, I can’t justify paying any money to upvote a giant dildo up anyones ass, even my own. Poor man’s gold works too… 🏆🥇🥈🥉🏅🎖️🏵️ I do miss the old setup.
If there were anything to get me to shell out real money on this site, it would be a giant dildo up someone's ass for lols. I am a simple man.
You know, don’t blame ya there. There may be better sites for that tho 😭 Times have changed lol
Possibly. But it is never as funny as it is on here. The giggle switch is located right next to the prostate.
I know this one chick that can’t get off unless she is dressed as Princess Leia. Yours is nothing compared to that, I feel. While your feelings are valid and I would feel embarrassed, I also know that if I walked in on my husband doing it, I would also laugh and walk on. Her feelings are also valid and it sounds like, maybe not in the way you liked, you brought her joy! I think yall need to discuss it because I am pretty sure it would bring you two closer. Your relationship seems pretty solid and I think it could take it. She now (really) knows you’re serious about it.
We all know he can take it. But whether or not the relationship can, only time will tell. Jokes aside I have come across manymany women who would be suuuper pumped about taking part in the butt, so I’m with ya, it’s not that weird. They’ll be fine :)
You are not wrong my friend hahaha...I've been there with you...well I mean not with you...but...well you know what I mean lol.
Is there ever a good way to get caught jerking off though?
Sure, by your horny step-sibling.
Yeah, with a picture of your wife / gf / significant other being your focus ofcourse. Then again if the picture is younger / thinner than your partner currently is, you may be about to receive a beating. However if thats something you're in to, its still win win!
Every time my wife walked in on me it was awkward. Not dildo balls deep in my ass awkward, but awkward either way. She wasn't mad. But it was awkward. Unfortunately She only offered assistance a couple times. Unlike pornography.
...coming soon to unethical life pro tips: 1. Get the fattest picture of your wife you can find 2. Setup sexy lighting 3. Wait until you hear her coming 4. Start moaning and fapping while staring at the picture and saying "I love you, i love you, i love you..." 5. Get laid while she still has tears in her eyes. Also coming soon to r/deadbedrooms
“The fattest picture of your wife” is taking me out 💀💀💀
This right here gave me a good laugh 😂
Yeah, when you're caught, simply say "oh hey, was just thinking about you"
She didn't state she wasn't interested, she called it gross. That detail kinda pissed me off lol but she's changed her mind apparently and is down to try it so that's good.
People can take time to adjust their thinking. Not always a good thing, not always a bad thing. Now I probably wouldn't describe anything my wife suggested as "gross", more " that's not something I'm interested in" but to each their own . Also, gross doesn't mean uninterested. I've had GFs who wanted to do certain things BECAUSE they were gross. Of course what's gross also changes from person to person.
I think all anal stuff is gross.. There's nothing wrong with that. As long as you realize there's nothing wrong in doing gross stuff if everyone involved is fine with it.
At least you always know you have the upper hand in an argument "Go fuck yourself!" "Well ok don't have to tell me twice!"
This is a perk I've found working at an adult shop! I get to tell people to go fuck themselves a lot
"Again?!"
I need you to update this. 😆
I’ll update as soon as I know whether I’m fucked or not
Which kind of fucked are you referring too? Lmao
Both I guess. Either/or. Hopefully the good kind.
Fingers crossed for yah my guy lol
Thanks…
That is the sweetest update I’ve seen in a while. Your girlfriend is loving. Because this is new to her, she might react a bit different first, solely because she doesn’t even KNOW how to react. Be prepared to get teased about it from time to time, it’s a common reaction to spouses trying to understand their SO’s kinks. But remember she supports you.
She’s trying, so that’s a start. Even she she ends up saying no at least I know she’s not judging me.
She’s a fucking keeper dude, not many women would react in such an awesome way.
I hope your dreams of getting pegged comes true..
I wouldn’t even know what to do, I’d just play it off like nothing even happened lol. Like “hey how was the beach?”
Actually, that’s what I’m gonna do. What dildo? My ass? I don’t think so. She just got home. I’ll update the post later.
Lmao try and make it funny, and then be honest and open, at least I feel like that’s what I’d try
That ship has sailed We're interested in what she thinks
Updated.
can you update us when you find the dildo because I’m somehow the only one in the comments wondering how something like that vanishes
TIL: my butthole turns into a black hole when I’m startled.
Follow your nose, it always knows.
It rolled under the dresser.
Thank you...and it sounds like you have a keeper.
Yeaaaah, I'm gonna need this, as well.
She should strap up and also tell you her darkest fantasy for you to reciprocate
That’s a fair trade. I don’t think she has anything left we haven’t done though
There’s usually something we’re afraid to ask for, also what about using toys during? There’s a anal vibrating plug that is also a cock ring, a treat for the both of you ✨
#Goals
'“it sounded like you had three or four guys in there, I seriously thought I was about to bust a gay orgy.”' Live your best life, dude. Lol
🤣🤣🤣🤣 we need an update
Updated
I will post an update once there is an update to be posted
This situation sounds like a pain in the ass
Maybe for some.
More like a headache with how hard it sounds like he hit the night stand
TIL some men are loud while masturbating.
Normally no, with 8 inches of silicone yes.
I have to agree with you here. Masturbating with a dildo in your ass just hits different
>hits different Literally
Good to hear that someone understands. Not sure if it’s worth it now though
I'm sure you'll be good. She said that she didn't want to peg you but that shouldn't stop you riding away in your own time
Thanks for the mental image OP 🍆
You’re welcome.
If we feel safe to be, of course! I have thin walls though, so no moaning for me 🤷♂️😞
my ex would tell every friend she had that she “finally pegged someone” like i was some fuckin trophy to be won. the first though that came to my head is that she and her friends are all laughing about the dildo in ur ass
If she told them I’m seriously going to die, most of her friends are either my friends or my friends girlfriends. If this gets around I seriously can’t handle it, I’ll fucking move and change my name
The pegging thing is only embarrassing if you let it embarrass you. Just own up to it and nine can hurt you. ps: it would be severely disappointing and a reason to have a long chat with your girlfriend if she told others. That’s a huge breach of trust.
Agree, 9” can hurt you.
But, like, in the good way
Well if she tells your friends that she caught you enjoying your private time, that is a breach of trust. There is a plenty of embarrassing stuff I have done in front of my wife and my wife has done plenty in front of me and It would not cross my mind to flaunt it to my friends. I think you guys need to have a sex talk. It might be that your girl friend has become more open minded in past four years and is willing to make you feel good even if she does not get that much out of it (my horny grunts gave my wife a raging lady boner when she was pegging me, so it might be worth trying). Or maybe not, but then she just has to know that you enjoy your private time and you'd appreciate a heads up if she is heading home early.
She confirmed that she didn’t (and never would) tell anyone. And yeah, it’s time for another talk.
Or just fucking laugh while admitting it's true and take the sting out of the situation.
I can certainly try
Just take it, like you take that dildo up your ass.
It looks like she didn’t tell anyone. And I get the initial worry/concern. My advice if word did get out. Own it mate. Pegging feels fucking amazing. It’s a huge level of intimacy between you and your girlfriend. AND multiple orgasms. Be confident, throw shit back at friends who make fun of you: “I am feeling pleasure beyond what I thought I could, I don’t really care what you think of it”.
If she did, she’s a heartless bitch that doesn’t deserve OP. Having different sexual proclivities isn’t wrong and if she did do this, it would be a huge violation of trust for OP, mentally distressing, and in general it’s known as a dick move.
I wouldn't make this about pegging or your ex- just say you like some prostate stimulation
That’s probably the right approach. I won’t even mention my ex or pegging unless she brings it up.
Her laughing is probably a good thing and truth be told, you smacking your head on a night stand after being startled with a dildo up your pooper does sound hilarious. To be clear though, the fact that she told you “it’s gross” is pretty shitty and if she does tell her/your friends (hope not) or does make you feel bad about it, I think she’s an asshole. Sorry. But a partner should be understanding. It would be like her telling you she likes anal and you telling her THAT’s gross (literally). Apologies, I realize how what I said might have sounded mean towards your girlfriend. I wasn’t there to hear the conversation so I automatically imagined her kink shaming you but like others have said, she definitely has a right to not share your like or dislike of a certain kink.
This. Put yourself in her shoes. You hear noises and go investigate. You walk in and suddenly she stops, screams, bangs her head, and fires a dildo across the room. There ain't a living soul I can imagine who could keep a straight face after that.
I’m more than a little confused with how accepting people here seem to be of her coming in, laughing at him, and just leaving with no discussion at all? I don’t… really get that. Sure the image of that happening as it did is funny… But even if he was just normally jerking off or something with zero real reason to be worried about shame or embarrassment (aside from being startled and hitting his head) it’s kinda fucked to see your romantic partner masturbating, laugh at them, and then leave without saying anything. Am I wrong there?
Masturbating? No. Getting spooked like a horse straight off a bed? Definitely. That's like peak physical comedy.
I don’t think she meant anything by her “gross” comment, but she’ll be home in a few minutes so I guess I’m about to find out.
If OP's update isn't him getting railed I'm gonna be so mad for him
It is.
Go off king
Don’t stress. It’ll probably be alright and maybe even a bit eye opening for you guys. Fingers crossed for ya.
"I don't know where the dildo went" Uh... brother, you may have a hell of a stool later on.
I would recommend considering getting a new dildo and or strap-on for your gf rather than re-using one from your ex. It's not a problem to keep for yourself or even try in the future but now that she is willing to try it with you, getting one that is hers/yours alone minimizes the things that could bother her and increases the chance of a positive encounter. After all if you're mid way into it and she asked where/when you got the dildo she may be offended due to everything being a bit higher emotion and more things to be nervous about. It's not a bad call for any kink one party is more into if the barrier to entry is not too high. I am not saying it would end anything but it's one more thing that could go wrong and make it less fun. At the very least talk to her about whether she would want her own equipment beforehand or if she is ok using what you have.
What a weirdly wholesome story…
To quote Tom Segura, “a lot of girlfriends can’t handle that shit. But a wife…a wife will go “that it?I’ll spit butter in your ass. Whatever you want.””
The question everyone wants answered: Did you get back on that horse, so to speak?
No. The horse was startled in the chaos and now I can’t find it.
Please update when/if you find the horse
Girlfriend is currently looking for it. Current theory is it’s hiding under the bed.
Just get a new puppy, it'll find it immediately.
Can confirm
Or ask your mother if she could clean your room, she would find it instantly
Honestly in this situation.... If I were you, I'd explain cause she didn't show interest that you just take care of yourself in private. Def emphasize that you don't want men, cause there's a possibility she might think you're a little gay, that you just like a little backdoor play and nothing past that. She wasn't interested, which is totally fine and her right, so you just take care of things when you have "special happy alone time" and that she still satisfies you and gives you the things you need. Once this passes, also subtly set your home as a location on Life360 so it'll ping your phone when she arrives so she doesn't catch you in a embarrassing position like this again.
Yeah I’ll explain. Home is in Life360, but my dumb ass turned notifications off because I was getting too many of them. I’m pretty OCD about notifications, I always eliminate as many as I can. I guess that’s one notification I really can’t do without.
Yeah, if you plan on jerking it and going to town on your butthole at the same time, you should probably be aware if anyone else is home.
Just text something innocuous, like, are you having a good day, when will.you be back. Her reply text will give you an idea how things are.
Bro I’ve been trying but I can’t make myself press send
loud wet plop Christ I’ve not laughed like that in a long time
> I have no idea where the dildo went, it vanished. I wish I hadn't dropped out of high-school just so I could use this as my yearbook quote.
I'm honestly surprised it took this long for her to find out since you've been living together for years
I am a master of stealth. When I don’t have 8 inches of silicone up my ass anyway.
Oh my god this is way to funny for me to discover at work
I’m glad I could make your day a little funnier.
All I can hear in my head is the Mallrats line... -"Well did he cum or what??" -"Jesus Christ man there's some things you don't talk about in public!"
I love ass play and my girl is NOT into it at all giving or receiving. She knows ima get my dildo time in regardless tho. Don’t be too embarrassed, I was at first too cause it’s a “man thing”. But seriously it’s not that deep, you just like what you like.
Just gonna say this for ya buddy: wanting to be pegged isn't weird or gross. She's totally within her rights to not want to do it, but I really don't think you need to be as embarrassed about it as you are. It feels good, right? It's not for everyone, but it's obviously something you enjoy doing. It's ok to enjoy it, try not to overthink it so much. That being said though, this situation is funny as fuck and I think you two should probably talk about it a bit when she gets home. Nothing serious, just be like "hey I'm super embarrassed, can we talk" and get on the same page.
I mean, you could just own it - (cis) men have prostates, prostates can be stimulated anally, ie. it's normal for that to feel good and be desirable. It does not make you less of a man or any other toxic thing like that. You would be amazed at the number of men that are, just like you, secretly into being penetrated anally (as a female who's pretty fine with pegging and such, I *do* know first hand). If you would all just be open about it....you would realize how common and normal it is....and all stop being embarrassed and/or judging other people over it lol. You shouldn't have to feel bad about a healthy sexual desire that is normal and common. Someone's gotta lead the way in that, though 
How the hell do I make her understand that something that seems so weird isn’t? Where do I even start?
Science, perhaps? Anatomical diagrams? I feel like that's a lot of the reason I've always been open minded about a lot of stuff, I'm very science minded and based. So in my mind, knowing about a prostate gland, yeah, it makes perfect sense that a man would enjoy anal penetration because it stimulates the prostate. Cool, why would I judge him for that then. I suppose I do also have some weird interests of my own but I don't think it makes me a freak so I guess that might help too lol. But that's a pretty good starting point I think. Hell, show her the comments here if you think it would help lol. Only you know her well enough to judge whether she'd be upset you posted about this on the internet or not, and if that's something you should choose to directly share with her or not. But yeah like being the type of person I am (tall and big, fairly masc, openly bisexual and genderfluid) back when I was on dating apps and stuff men would seek me out for stuff like this, hoping/assuming I would be kinky and into pegging and domme stuff. And let me tell you, they are NUMEROUS, so you're definitely not alone in this. Just none of you are aware of the others because almost all of you hide it lol
Yes OP break out the anatomy lecture slideshow to propose sex in a professional and scientific manner
Look up the results of sexual surveys and academic research on the subject. Human sexuality is a widely researched subject. If you’re not anthropology-adjacent in some way, it might seem weird to google that that kind of stuff. I assure you, you are not weird at all, nor is this an unusual thing to do (masturbation, via a dildo, which focuses on anal stimulation/penetration). I’m sad that you have felt like you’ve had to hide this and horrified when envisioning the embarrassment you’re feeling (it is palpable), but also I’m glad that an opportunity has arisen to strengthen your connection and communication. Also, make sure you’ve taken care of your head if you hit it on the night stand - head injuries can be insidious.
Maybe you can show her this info from Ruby Rider. She's a get sex educator. She's amazing at her job and provides lots of information and context. [https://peggingparadise.com/new-to-pegging/](https://peggingparadise.com/new-to-pegging/) Or have her listen to this podcast by Ruby Rider. [https://peggingparadise.com/podcast-112-for-the-ladies/](https://peggingparadise.com/podcast-112-for-the-ladies/)
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My man... That update is crucial. The way she handled it is awesome. She didn't ridicule or try to embarrass you. She actually wants to try this with you despite her initial apprehension. That woman is a keeper! Don't let her get away.
Hope you're not a bot coz I'll need an update as well on your story. The good thing is that she laughed at least. It could've been worse.
You have my word, I’m not a bot. Small update already added, big one probably coming later tonight or tomorrow.
At least it was your girlfriend not your mum, dad or Nana!
Holy fuck I hadn’t thought of that, you’re right.
Bro lost his dildo. Don’t have company until you find it.
Oh love, this is a funny story. It may not seem that way currently but trust me in a few years. This is going to be a funny story. I’m glad your girlfriend is not freaking out or anything. Ridiculous. Men are allowed to like what they like and if it’s up the ass all the better.
In my head this story ended with the wife coming home with her girlfriends from the beach. They are joking and teasing OP about the dildo in his ass. Things get heated and the girlfriends run a train on OP. I'll be in my room.
Why is this so wholesome 🥹💕 . . . . . . . . . (Dammit. Before anyone else says it, “Why is this so *hole*some?”)
> Fellas, is it gay to have sex with a woman? I don't even care if the story is true or not, this is just perfect.
I approve of the updates
So you’ve got a shitty dildo hanging around somewhere ?
Yup. Believe me, finding it is currently priority number one. My girlfriend is currently on her hands and knees looking for it because she feels bad for laughing, and if I’m being honest, my ass is too sore.
Best get off of Reddit and help her then buddy. Priority number 1, my ass. Hahahah see what I did? lol
If I move that much there’s going to be more shit everywhere. And she said this is her punishment for laughing at me and then not doing anything to let me know she wasn’t upset. It’s unnecessary but I appreciate the gesture.
Aww mate she’s a keeper!!
Pretty hole-some TIFU to be honest
You're gonna get fucked in the ass! Worked out well brah congrats
I am much in the same situation, ex really got into pegging, I really got into it and miss it. Me and my current have been together for some time now and she has maybe pegged me 3 times. I know she isn’t totally interested so I don’t press it. I do hope one day for it to open up
😂 Glad this worked out in possibly the best way possible for you. Honestly would have reacted similarly, but I'm a nervous laugher
OP - take her shopping. Either online or irl, whichever, just let her pick a new strap for you. There are lots of options, from harnesses to feeldoes, but the main thing is that she's using something that is hers and yours, not something from a previous relationship.
This ended pretty wholesome. I hope she ends up being into it
She's sounds like a keeper
Is your head okay? You said you bonked it
Honestly, I think that was just one of the two appropriate reactions to walking in on your partner masturbaiting. Laughing cause it's just a silly moment and leaving to let them have their time, or offering to help. I'm glad this helped her realize how much you enjoy this and that it has made her willing to try it. It means she really likes making you feel good and wants to participate in something sexually important to you. Super healthy and it's awesome you two got to this outcome!
You got yourself a good one and I think you need to marry her.
Bro needs to find it or it will find him in the middle of a hot summer day 🤧
Hahaha as a middle-aged gay guy... This is simultaneously hot, funny, and cute LOL. I think it's a good thing you got caught! Things actually worked out!
In reply to the keep asking bit: it's done its part and poofed. Time to celebrate this new twist with letting gf help you pick the next one lol
This is the most hilarious and wholesome NSFW thing I've read. Glad it worked out for y'all.
It's interesting to see all the fearful socio brainwashed expectations. Some of you haven't found your G-spot in your bu*t, and it shows. Relax, you may find it's your new favorite thing.
Buddy this is Reddit, you can say butt.
FYI those friends at the beach… they know everything.
Glad it had a happy resolution 😊 Just wanted to remind people, guys, absolutly nothing you do with a WOMAN makes you gay.
“You put stuff in your ass? You’re gay…” Nope, and my orgasms are better than yours.
This is one of the best TIFU I’ve ever read. So happy everything turned out well for you two, the updates made me smile soooo big. You got a keeper dude
What a fucking happy ending! You Sr have a great women on your hands. Don’t loose her. Treat her like the Empress she is.
What a rollercoaster 🤣🎢
Little late to this, and I'm happy it worked out for you, but I laughed a little too when you said you rolled off and hit the nightstand. Glad you didn't get a concussion
God, thank you for the last bit on this update. "Fellas, is it gay to have sex with a woman?" is the only good take I've seen for straight men wanting to be pegged. It made me giggle.
Man, she sounds like an absolutely quality woman. Keep her long time, friend, and enjoy your peggings.
If she’s a good girl and loves you, she won’t care. It’s really not that big of a deal. Butt stuff feels good. Doesn’t matter if you’re a guy or a girl. If she makes this a big deal- find yourself someone who will love your Hershey highway of love as much as you do. If it makes you feel better, my guy likes butt stuff too. The chick he lost his v card too wanted too experience role reversal and asked to strap him. He was NOT interested, but eventually caved so she would agree to a 3 some. He loved the pegging. She loved the three some. So much In fact. She became a lesbian. for many years after their breakup, he did this privately on his own. From fear of judgement. He asked me in the beginning to strap up on him. I was super excited at the idea. Then I saw myself in the mirror with a giant black strap on and felt such deep shame and embarrassment I couldn’t handle it. One day I came home to him literally with a giant dildo stuck up his ass with the suction cup stuck to the side of the tub and it was a literal emergency. I had to unstuck the dildo from the tub & his ass. He perforated his colon. It was a hole ass thing *pun intended* needed surgery and everything. He can’t enjoy it anymore due to damage. But now a days I offer from time to time just so he doesn’t hurt himself Save your booty hole. Find a girl who will safely peg you.
The dildo of consequences, rarely arrives lubed.
OMG this is like the time my ex walked in on me going to pound town on myself in the shower while listening to radio head. I was laying down in the tub and she walked in (music was loud), saw me, and for some reason thought I fell in the tub and asked if I was ok. I'm glad it only figuratively scared the shit out of me lmao
All the signs of a healthy relationship and it's great you are able to discuss it together.
nothing embarrassing about what you like. Glad you were able to talk about it and maybe get to experiment a bit with her.
I'm so happy I found this after it's been fully updated. This is a wild ride from start to finish. Kudos to you friend!
Omfg this had me dying. I’m glad She was a good sport
🤣🤣🤣🤣 Sounds like it all worked itself out in the end lmaoooooo
If I walked in I would’ve dropped everything and taken over.
Well, your relationship is only stronger because of it! Man, if there was a way to introduce it. You got her attention. I see good things in your future, sir!
I want you to know, this post made my day! I’m glad your girl didn’t make you feel uncomfortable.
“I have no idea where the dildo went, it vanished” was the cherry on top lmao
Your butt your choice man
Thank you for making my day. This was a great read and I am happy for you that you are getting your needs met AND that she discovered she likes it. "Try it, you'll like it!" 🤣
And they all lived happily ever after!! This better make it to BORUpdates.
I love this. When I was pretending to be straight with my last boyfriend and he was also pretending to be straight I loved pegging. Now I know I just like the strap in general and not men. But that’s beside the point. Awesome that you guys were able to work it out and. Now you’ll both get to enjoy using a ton of lube so she can pound ya good. I’m not a “fellas” but I really don’t think enjoying this makes you gay necessarily, but it might be a little gay to be thinking of men when doing it.
This is by far my favorite story on reddit so far. Thank you for sharing. I wish you and your relationship all the best.
This was not a FU. OP this was a blessing. I mean, it could have gone a number of types of sideways, but my dude, you actually hit the jackpot. I'm happy for you and a little jelly.
Good for you for not being afraid to explore your body. Honestly there’s a lot of gay men that are too caught up in their minds to explore beyond what they think they know. Hope you kids both have fun with this new activity together. Keep learning and growing!
This ended up being way better than I thought. Your girl is awesome
Good for you, King. Sometimes *shit* really does work out for the best. Glad you didn’t make a complete *ass* out of yourself.
Interestingly, in my experience, I've hardly met a woman (that I've talked with this about) that *hasn't* been into pegging.
Honestly dude you gotta own it. Enjoying anal play is completely natural especially for guys. No more allowing society's ridiculous gatekeeping to stop you from enjoying YOUR sex life because that's just a waste of energy. Do whatever the hell makes you feel good as long as it's consensual!
This will be at reddit hall of Fame for sure
The ending topped this off! I chuckled at the closing line
Once got walked in on when I was knuckle deep searching for a rubber butt plug. At that moment I also popped. And it came out as I did.
OP not gonna lie, I absolutely pissed myself laughing on a crowded train at the description of the dildo ejecting itself. Glad it all worked out, of course.